I believe that, in the final episode of Lost, all of the DHARMA stations on the island will transform into body parts, and combine into a giant DHARMAZORD. It will be piloted by polar bears, and powered by the smoke monster. This epic machine is used to stop a rampaging Widmore, who has taken control of the four-toed statue that has been reconstructed and brought to life by Jacob's nemesis, aka that guy who made everyone think he was Locke.

Fox executives are on crack laced with PCP. This is the only way they could have done what they did to Firefly.

My best theory has always been my belief Leia is evil. Anakin is supposed to bring balance to the force. He makes it even by mopping up Jedi that were missed in the mass murders, leaving Obi-Wan and Yoda on the side of good, Vader and the Emperor on the side of evil.

Luke comes along and becomes good, Obi-Wan must be wacked to set the scales right again. Yoda dies, then Palpatine and Vader croak. Luke is good and the scales are uneven. For the prophecy to be fulfilled Leia must be evil.

Besides, young Carrie Fisher with a red lightsaber. Grrrrr.

I believed that drinking dark liquids made your urine dark. I was hoping that drinking Mountain Dew would turn it green. However, it only resulted with less desirable effects...

Anyway—the drastic change in tone of the last two of the original four Batman movies can, in fact, be reconciled with the darker, more serious tone of the first two.

How? Gotham City got that way because Batman fixed it. Because of his presence—and possibly this movie version's willingness to use lethal force—all or most of the sane criminals have either skipped town or gone straight (or at least been forced back into a quietly desperate law-abiding life, despite possibly extenuating socio-economic circumstances, because of the hopelessly omnipresent law enforcement via vigilante); most of the ones who're left are the kind of wackos who think it's a great idea to hang around putting on face paint under blacklights, and increasingly isolated and unorganized low level criminals. Crime is kept so in check—and mostly to the domain of harmless bumblers and weirdos—that the city has experienced a massive economic and cultural boom, and the streets are safe enough that the Dark Knight can openly attend charity auctions in front of the press.

The movies didn't get stupid—they're a realistic depiction of an urban society becoming ridiculously decadent after the removal of a hitherto intractable societal bane.

I...can't really explain the silly sound effects, or why someone thought it would be a good idea to build freeways through the middle of the city perched on the shoulders of 80-storey tall statues. Maybe the latter was a make-work project, or something...someone ask Joel.

I believe that the whole "Bring balance to the force" thing was mis-interpreted by Yoda and the Jedi Council all along. They saw this 'balancing' as a good thing. But what they failed to realize was that the Force was already weighted heavily in favor of the 'light side' where the 'dark side' was a very tiny, disorganized group. By 'fulfilling the prophecy' and training Anakin Skywalker they screwed themselves right into the grave. They got balance alright. All the Jedi in the universe, good and evil, could meet in a phone booth.

The Back to the Future Series was a large story of events all made up in Doc Browns head. When he slipped on the toilet and hit his head he was placed into a deep coma where the movies events unfolded.

In this dream/coma world Doc at last had has a friend in the form of a teenage boy; who perhaps represents his lost teenage years and everything he aspired to be. With his teenage friend Doc embarks on a journey that takes him to past, present and future-as well as an alternate reality. He also finds a soul mate but she come in the form of a childhood obsession, the old west. It would seem that Marty is not just part of his subconscious but also a guide of sorts

The fact that docs awareness of events keeps fading in and out proves this fact since his coma is very much like a dream.

Each main character like Marty also represents a side of Doc Brown.

-Marty: Doc's wasted youth
-George: Docs history of failure and his belief that he may one succeed.
-Lorraine: Representation of all the failed loves in his life mixed in with the his mother. The only women who did love him
-Jennifer: The one that got away. We know this because she keeps slipping out of Marty's hands as a way to show us this.

That isn't to say their aren't any darker sides.
It is my belief that Biff Tannen is in this dream for a reason. He is what keeps Doc Brown from going to far deep into his own mind. He is the balance. He causes problems only to ensure that Doc does not lose his mind while he is in a coma. The fact that Biff is present in all time lines even the wild west supports this. In that regard you could consider Biff an actual good guy.

There is more to be said, especially about the alternate timeline which leads me to believe at one point Doc may have been dying in real life while in a coma. Thus the news papers claiming his imprisonment.

The wild west is of course his fantasy become reality and the future represents his grand vision of what would happen if his inventions became reality.

Sadly I believe that Doc never did wake up. The train symbolizes that perfectly as he leaves with everything he could ever want. I sad lonely inventor finally is at peace with people who love him.

So that's my theory more or less.

I believe nerds love science fiction partly because of the plot holes, illogical moments, and inconsistencies, not in spite of them. Trying to rationalize how a lightsaber works or how radiation makes super heroes instead of giving people cancer is a fun sort of logic puzzle.

It's much more fun than believing it's a defense mechanism for people questioning their sacred cows.

Gotta agree with James. Makes you wonder why the Jedi were never scared of the prophecy. 2 Sith (plus or minus a few secret aprentices), hundreds if not thousands of Jedi...

What else is balance going to mean?

I also liked how just before he died, Mace was falling to the dark side. But then flew out the window, so it didn't really matter one way or the other as far as balance goes.

Actually Rob your theory on Star Wars is exactly correct according to George Lucas' own words in the commentary tracks from the Prequel trilogy. :-B

My nerd theory is on Back To The Future Part 1...

Everyone always complains that Marty was a total idiot for only setting the Delorean back a few minutes to save Doc Brown, when even if he had made it to the Twin/Lone Pine Mall in time, the Libyans would have just blown him up with their machine gun, rocket launcher, etc.

My theory is that if he had gone back a day before, stocked up on grenades and machine guns, then showed up to save Doc... he would have destroyed the fabric of space time!

Because if he would have saved Doc Brown, then past Marty wouldn't have accidentally gone back in time, then if he never went back in time then he never saved Doc Brown, so then Doc Brown does die, and Marty goes back in time... etc. etc. etc. (Typical Time Travel Paradox)

The next part of my theory is based on this potential universe-exploding paradox.
1. When Doc Brown read the letter, he completely understood the potential for Universe explosion... which is why he specifically made sure that everything happened like it did before (i.e. he gets shot and Marty accidentally goes back in Time) which is why he still made the meeting in the same place and just wore a bullet proof vest (and if he was still conscious then he played dead for Marty's sake..)

2. This is the part of my Theory that is a bit of a stretch, but its a recurring theme in the movie that time itself is almost a living entity, that tries to keep time as similar as possible when you change it (ex. which is why Marty's parents still live in the same house and have 3 kids who are exactly the same people, even though they all have different personalities..). So I believe that it was the Universe (or Time, or whatever) that led Marty to only set the Delorean back a few minutes when it would arrive in 1985, so that Marty wouldn't f**k up and destroy the entire Universe...

I've discussed this theory with my friends, and the number one complaint from them is "If Doc Brown knew he had to get shot, why did he try to shoot the Libyans?" and my answer to that is that Doc wasn't trying to actually shoot them, just trying to draw their fire to himself so that they wouldn't shoot Marty... which explains why he fumbles with the gun and shoots like a blind man...

I have some other nerd theories, but this is my favorite one from my favorite movie, which I bring up anytime I'm watching BTTF with friends and family.... which is probably why they refuse to watch it with me anymore...

This theory has since been debunked. But it was devised when the Cloverfield madness was happening and no one knew what the monster was or looked like. I had, hands down, the best nerd theory of all time. I wrote about it on my blog in my review of the movie:

"So, I saw Cloverfield. And I was suitably impressed. It was entertaining, scary, had lots of action. The acting was decent enough. However, I was disappointed because I had built my expectations up way too high. Impossibly high. I mean that in all sincerity that the scenario I had in my mind of how the film would play out would have been impossible to match.

'How is that possible Tanner? What would you be expecting?'

I thought the Cloverfield monster was going to end up being the Stay Puft Marshmallow man.

This is what in my deepest heart of hearts was expecting. I knew I was going to be let down. I knew that the Cloverfield monster wasn't going to be the Stay-Puft marshmallow man. But, the little child in me wanted Cloverfield to be the newest installment of the Ghostbusters saga. That all of the viral marketing. All of the swerves about what the monster really was. All of it was just one giant "GOTCHA"! And that Cloverfield would be revealed to be Ghostbusters 3.

That's right. I had it all imagined on how it would play out in my mind. Being in the theater watching the shaky cam footage and then one of the twentysomethings say "We should call someone!!" Which would elicit a pessimistic response of "Who are we gonna call?" Then the Ghostbusters theme song would come blaring over the speakers accompanied by the familiar siren of the Ecto-1 as it powerslides onto the scene.

Think of the cheers in the theaters! Think of the sensation of being duped and never feeling happier about it in your entire life. It almost brings a tear to your eye. M. Night Shyamalan would open a vein because he would know that he could never top a twist like that.

It would make truckloads of money and would leave fanboys a sobbing, blubbering mess.

So, yeah, Cloverfield was good. But, you can see where I was a little teeny tiny bit disappointed."

Lord Alvarez, your theory on Back To The Future was well thought and an interesting read, but it totally just depressed me... (Time Travel is REAL, ok?)

Oh, and Tanner, that would have been AWESOME!
If I ever get a decent camera and a willing crew, I would LOVE to make a Cloverfield/Stay Puft spoof! Hilarious idea that I will never get out of my head now... :)

Long time reader of TR, but this is the first contest that got me willing to actually write out my entry... :)

My theory revolves around the star wars prequels, and the idiocy of the Jedi council. It goes like this: The prophecy was correct and Anakin fullfilled it spectacularly well. He was meant to bring balance to the force. On one side of the force we have a council of Jedi knights backed up by the established government, with an entire academy for those jedi wannabe kids and everything. On the other side of the force we have four guys (Sidious, Maul, Dooku, Grievous) fighting against the rest of the friggin' galaxy. If someone is to bring BALANCE to the force, it should be obvious which side is badly needing reinforcements. Then Qui-Gon finds this kid who matches the prophecy, and goes out of his way to help him fulfill it, instead of ignoring it or, better, terminating the kid ASAP. He tells the story to the Jedi council, who listens to it, acknowledges Anakin as the one who can bring balance to the force and yet fail to terminate the kid ASAP or at least deny him training on how to destroy them in the future.

Essentially, the Jedi pretty much deserved what they got and the whole Empire thing is entirely their fault.

Not mine, but Chewy and R-2 were the leaders of the rebels:
http://www.morningstar.nildram.co.uk/A_New_Sith.html

I think the most bizarre theory I've ever heard was one regarding how Saavik looked like Kirstie Alley in Wrath of Khan to turning into Robin Curtis for the remainder of her appearances. It involved the Mirror Universe and a clone of Saavik being sent to the canon universe and assassinating the real one and taking over, but somehow deciding to not tell anyone about it due to a change of heart. It was the ultimate what the hell explanation. Also, Rob the Daleks are 100 times scarier in the original because you didn't know what to expect from them, and they got a bit scarier throughout the revival, so don't worry it'll happen!

There was quite some bitching...myself included...that Superman fathered a kid in Superman Returns. Superpower considerations aside, how the hell is an ALIEN going to mate with an human when we can't mate with chimps while have 99% similar DNA.

Unless humans and Krytonians ARE related!

Based on the movies, apparently either Krytonian ships are crap at landing or there's something in the Earth's atmosphere that screws with Krytonian technology.

I picture some early Krytonian manned probe crash landing on Earth, stranding our ancestors. Obviously they had superpowers.

Meanwhile, back on Krypton, they improved their biology with their advanced technology (perhaps in an attempt to adapt to their increasingly unstable planet) so that when Kal-El arrived , his improved Kryptonian DNA gave him superpowers.

There! All fixed!

Before the final cylon was revealed in BSG, my friends and I had maaaaaaaany a heated debate over his or her identity. Most of us were all about Gaeta (one, he is awesome; two, he has lots of creepy moments in which he appears to KNOW SOMETHING; and three, I swear there is a moment with a drop of blood that echoes Tyrol/Boomer . . . but I digress). Convinced, we began to consider alternate theories. Ridiculous theories. Things that were so improbable and impossible that there was no way they could be true.

You know the Asian pilot? Yeah, that one guy. With the tattoos. "Dragon." "The tattooed pilot." "Salty." The dude who was so regularly placed prominently in scenes only to have no lines at all, or to have lines that revolved around venereal disease. We loved him. "What if," we asked ourselves as we tipsily MST3K-ed Leprechaun 4, "what if HE were the final cylon? What would that be like? He'd come busting into the room, right, and say, 'Fuck you, you dirty human bitches! I am the final fucking cylon! That's right: ME. And my name is JERRY, not that you ever fucking ASKED. WELL IT'S MY TURN TO FUCKING TALK NOW.' Dude, how great would that be?"

Publicly, I laughed and shrugged it off and went back to considering the Rule of Gaeta. Privately, I was more than a little convinced that making this no-name shiny-headed man a key figure for the last few episodes of the series was the kind of WTF moment the show would throw its fans, and the die-hardest among us would pick back through every frame of past episodes to find the clues that, after the big reveal, oh-so-obviously pointed to the answer.

I was one disappointed nerd girl.

my nerd theory that i still belive is that the Ewok's are actully canibals and the reason they got the helments that they are playing on during the celebration scene in return of the Jedi is that they ate the imperial soliders and storm troopers they beat. for evoks proved cute critters are pure evil in the star wars universe

my theory is that the American government, specifically the "GI Joe Special Forces" sector, has been secretly keeping the Cobra crime organization afloat for years through "hush-hush" funding. Based on exorbitant spending (Snake-theme customization for EVERYTHING!) and repeated failures, the Cobra organization would probably have lasted about 3-5 years without falling into serious and inoperable debt. Tomax and Xamot's trust funds would've been suitably depleted by that point, at which international arms dealer Destro would've been forced to strike a secret accord with General Hawk. The terms were something like "you give us money to make payments on those Terrordromes in the Amazon, and we'll make sure to use ineffective weaponry and/or totally incompetent employees."
While one would think that the end of Cobra is the Joes' goal, it really isn't. Think of the GI Joe program as a sort of vacation/early retirement for enlisted men. If you succeed well enough as a Marine and move up the ladder, eventually you can become a GI Joe. Plush facilities, exotic locations, and battles fought where death is not even within the realm of possibility. The end of Cobra would mean that all the Joes would have to return to their respective branches, surely a step down in anyone's eyes (you don't think Cover Girl was there to WORK, do you? I mean, who do you think she was "covering" the whole time?). And so, funds are funneled to Cobra to keep their miserably irresponsible syndicate afloat. Most of the Joes and Cobra agents alike are unawares, and in this case, NOT knowing is ALL the battle.

It's not really a theory, but a belief nonetheless. Most of my favourite animes are very.... girly. But see, the thing is, is I'm not all that girlie. I like fast cars, I love video games, I've played sports (and not the girly ones either like soccer and volley ball. Like hockey, football, lacrosse -- historical, knee bashing is legal move, lacrosse). But, one of my favourite animes is Sailor Moon.
My theory or belief is that Sailor Moon is more badass than she appears to be.
Exhibit #1- She fights FUCKING EVIL BITCHES FROM ANOTHER WORLD.
Exhibit #2- She was able to make Tuxedo Kamen-sama fall in love with her. This would be comparable to me, a pudgy nerd girl getting Robert Downey, Jr, AND Felicia Day. That's pretty bad ass.
Exhibit #3- Not only does she essentially rule the universe (the Moon was a base for all other planetary royalty for her and her moms to rule) she does it all with a smile on her face while going to school. And I thought having a full time job while going to college was tough. I couldn't play any of my games...
Exhibit #4- She watched her best friends DIE. And still didn't lose courage or weep for her loss.
Exhibit #5- She's very relatable. She's just like me. I'm clumsy, I have a black cat, I'm blonde, I'm blue-eyed, I'm a ditz. I go to arcades. I crush a lot. I used to go to school. I love to have minor freakouts. I'm related to Henry Tudor VIII and Bessie Blount's child, Henry Tudor VIIII (which makes me royalty).And I think I'm bad ass, so therefore, by association, she as well, is bad ass.
Exhibit #6- Yo dawg, I heard you like nerd theories so I'm going to put a nerd theory in your nerd theory.
Exhibit #7- Seriously, do I have my t-shirt yet?

mines that in star trek, there cant be the hundred of omnipresent beings that they keep fighting, just one of them that just likes to screw with kirk.

In the ST:TNG episode, "Darmok," the Enterprise encounters a race who speaks only in metaphor. They say things like "Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra" to mean "cooperation" because their history/mythology has a story about two people who work together against a common enemy. Anyone who is still confused can read the episode summary here.

Anyway, my theory is that this "language" was created as a way to poke fun at the fans of Star Trek and other nerd-revered media. I think the writer(s) were at a convention. They noticed that the attendees could have entire conversations that consisted of nothing but quotes, references, and catchphrases from their favorite movies, shows, or D&D sourcebooks, never once resorting to using actual meaningful sentences.

So stuff like "I'm sorry Dave" means "the computer doesn't work," or "I have been and always shall be your friend" means "I think I might have homosexual feelings towards you," and so on.

Cobra-La was NOT responsible for sending Cobra Commander out into "mans world" to conquor it for them. Oh no.

The ever shrewd Cobra Commander merely staged the entire incident involving that godawful Cobra-La nonsense from G.I. Joe: The Movie (1987) as a rather complex way for him to rid himself of Serpentor and weed out any "weak links" in the Cobra chain. With everyone believing that he was turned into a snake, everything would be disorganized.

Cobra Commander could then simply walk back in, reassume control of Cobra, and fine tune it more to his liking. It might be a smaller organization than it was previously, but it would be stronger! He could run things as the undisputed leader, the way it used to be.

In short, Cobra-La? Never was real. It was all staged for the benefit of a long term plan by Cobra Commander to clean house. All those Cobra-La creeps were probably nothing more than robots or protoplasm or some other such thing that the Commander always had lying around. The "Cobra Commander" that turned into a snake? That was probably one of those protoplasm things too. The real Commander was probably watching from some secret control room and laughing his ass off that everyone bought into the outlandish characters from Cobra-La and his supposed "true" origin. I can just see him laughing while slapping his knee...

That is the secret behind G.I.Joe: The Movie and Cobra-La.

Bruce Wayne isn't Batman. Seeing his parents killed drove him insane, and he grew up in Arkham Asylum. The "Batman" persona is an alter ego he developed as his psychosis progressed. Why are the majority of his notable villains insane? Why does everything cycle through escape->recapture->escape endlessly, all coming back to the asylum? Because his villains are the other patients. They never die, even when they ought to, because he's not really fighting them. Bane, the one that managed to break "Batman's" spine, was an abusive guard who really did injure Bruce before being fired.

The Joker is important because he's another personality that developed as a result of Bruce/Batman needing an outlet for levity. Bruce's main personality, sworn to combat villainy after his parents died, cannot let his guard slip, can never break out and be happy, but the Joker can - with the Joker, he can be happy as much as he wants. This personality is genuinely likable and funny, inspiring merriment in those around him, but Bruce finds this intolerable, thus why he ascribes it to the results of "Joker-gas," forcing people to be happy even though they aren't, and reinforcing Bruce's belief that letting himself slip and be happy again would lead to death, as it does for those the Joker makes appear to be laughing.

His fascination with kid sidekicks? Obvious imaginary friends, created to help him recapture his lost youth. Robin in the guise of "Jason Todd" was too close to bringing Bruce something approaching real joy, so he had to be killed, and by the one personifying the dangers of happiness.

As for "Batman" finally using a gun to kill Darkseid, he never had a code against using firearms. He invented that idea in his last moments alive as his heroic backstory to his actions. What really happened was that an officer had come to the asylum to deal with another patient, but wasn't careful enough around everyone. Bruce managed to grab his gun, and shoot "Darkseid" (in reality, the warden who had been, in Bruce's mind, the ultimate evil in his tiny, enclosed universe, all these decades), and while successful, was immediately taken down but other asylum staff. His current state of being affected by the "Omega Sanction" is the staff, mostly in retribution, drugging him into catatonia, and his inevitable coming back to life (It's comics, he'll come back sooner or later!) will happen when the over treatment gets noticed and scaled back.

i wish i could take credit for the following theory, but alas, i remember reading it (possibly in Wizard years ago)

it's a way of explaining Spider-Man's crappy life. the universe itself was trying to eliminate Peter Parker.

it's all centered around his Spider-Sense. essentially, the universe sees Spider-Man as a walking time distortion. everytime he uses his Spider-Sense to dodge a punch, it changes what WOULD have happened. creating an anolmaly in the space-time continuum. so he was almost perceived by the universe as a virus.

that's why his life was so lousy. the fabric of reality stacked itself against Peter as a way to stop him from causing all those little ripples in the continuum.

wow.

seeing the theory actually in writing makes me kind of ashamed... even though i SWEAR i'm not the one who came up with it.

I have to comment on Blindsquirrel's theory of Superman fathering a child. My theory is that there was never any sex actually involved. Superman having an orgasm would have blown Lois's uterus out through her skull. I think his sperm is so incredibly powerful, they would have had to have flown out of his pants when he's bonering up as Clark Kent and got her pregnant without even copulating.

well anakin did bring balance to the force when in return of the jedi he became good and killed the emperor so that now the sith is extinct. i kno alotta people think that balance of the force means equal weight between the light and dark side but i think from the jedi's POV, balance in the force means all light and no dark. was this already obvious or am i wrong? and why did we never hear of the sith until episode 1 when it was always referred to the dark side in eps 4-6?

Demoncat: How is that a nerd theory? The Ewoks were going to cook Luke, Han, and Chewie for a feast in Threepio's honour so of course they ate the Stormtroopers. Where else would they get enough meat for the big celebration at the end of RotJ? Or if you assume that Threepio was wrong about the Ewoks intending to cook the others then that means the Ewoks were going to burn them alive just to burn them alive which could be considered worse.

Personal nerd theories are both…nah, make it all three... also Star Wars.

First: It was so obvious that Darth Sideous was Palpatine I was waiting for the un-reveal. I was waiting for the part where George Lucas reveals they are NOT the same person, that the Jedi have NOT been so stupid they have been in the same room as the Sith Lord so many times and let Anakin become friends with him, that every time we chortled over Palpatines statements of wanting peace and democracy they we were NOT right.
(One possibility was drawn from the comic mini-series / graphic novel Dark Empire where there were those Emperor clones and him being able to transfer his mind into a new body. The clone-Emperor did threaten to possess Anakin Solo (still a bump on Leia) so he could take over bodies other than mindless clones.)

Second: “Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen” by Palpatine crossed with the Foundation novels by Issac Asimov. Palpatine is Hari Seldon, but rather than creating a foundation to shorten the integrium between the Galactic Empire and a new galaxy wide state instead he creates an Empire. Destroy some warring factions to stop them disturbing a new peace and by destroying them give the rest of the galaxy something to unite against, decades of civil war between The Empire and The Alliance to Restore the Republic would crush the third option of separate states between them.
This has actually been sort of suggested in some of the Expanded Universe novels where they are suggesting that Palpatine foresaw the Yuuzhan Vong coming and wanted to create a state with enough power to crush them.

Third: Anakin killed Padmé the same way that clone of Jorus C’boath killed that Imperial General. In the Thrawn Trilogy a mad clone of a Jedi Master feels that power is not extending it across distant worlds like the Emperor did, it is holding someone’s mind in your power and shaping it to your will. He does this to an Imperial General and when they hit the Force-null bubble created by some creatures called Ysalamiri there is not enough of the General’s mind left to keep him alive without C’Boath’s power to sustain him. He fades away over the course of the next several hours.
And then we have Padmé who over the course of the prequels seemed to lose a lot of her fire. She tells Anakin he is still the little boy she knew, she tells him they cannot be together, but by the end of Attack of the Clones has changed her mind (also she accepts Anakin killing the sand people without protesting) and in Revenge of the Sith she seems very tragic rather than feisty.
Not suggesting (necessarily) that Anakin set out to warp Padmé’s mind but his love for her and his desire to be with her were even stronger than his immense power in the Force. Could Anakin have stopped himself from wishing Padmé would change her mind, and stopped his power from leaking and changing her mind, when they spent so much of AotC just the two of them? And when he thinks she has betrayed him, or when he is mutilated by Obi-Wan and left to catch fire and die, would that influence not suddenly be withdrawn… so Padmé fades away despite having two newborn children and so a reason to live?

I had a theory about Captain America's death in the comics that's being debunked at the moment.I thought that he never really died.

Brubaker's run began with the Red Skull being assassinated, and he happened to be inhabiting a cloned body of Cap. At the time they made a point of mentioning this. This body was supposedly preserved in SHIELD custody.

So then when Cap was shot I thought that maybe Nick Fury (in hiding but still able to make shit happen) managed to switch Cap with the dead clone body to get him out of the post Civil War situation (he had somehow repaired the gaping chest wound and skull face since #1).

If you re-read #25 (the death issue) we see Cap being taken away in an ambulance and then hear on the news that he died, that's when the switch took place. Most people heard that he died before even reading the issue, but we only actually see him shot and supposedly dying. And the clone body would explain all the subsequent tests showing it was Cap.

Then Cap would return whenever they wanted him to. Of course now we're being told that he got dislodged from time, but I still like my theory because it looked like Brubaker set it up from the beginning.

I spent much of the--what, two years or so?--in between the sixth and seventh Harry Potter books proselytizing this theory. Me and a few friends were completely sure JK was going to bear us out in DH and it completely failed to materialize, although the main point of the theory was that it was proof that Snape was really a triple agent and still working for Dumbledore, which /did/ turn out to be true. The logic runs like this: when Snape kills Dumbledore, he does it with Avada Kedavra, and Dumbledore then flies into the air John Woo style and off the edge of the tower. The thing is, Avada Kedavra has never been shown anywhere else to make people fly around like they've been hit by a truck. It just kills you. It hits you, you fall down on the spot, like you had a stroke or a heart attack.

The theory hinges on two seemingly unrelated side details from earlier in the sixth book, and another obscure fact from back in the fourth. All through HBP, Snape has been carefully teaching Harry and others how to cast spells without saying the words for them out loud, and yelling at them when they can't do it right, which of course they can't because Harry is a complete dunce who can't do anything right but Quidditch. (Why was he the hero again?) It's a useful trick, sure, but not a super-important one, and it always seemed odd that they spent so much time on it. Meanwhile, flashbacks in the book mentioned a spell that Snape and James Potter used on each other back in the day--I've forgotten the name--that made you fly into the air and hang there, so we know Snape is quite familiar with that spell.

Avada Kedavra was introduced in the fourth book by Mad-Eye Moody along with the other Unforgivable Curses, and he used them all in class. When he talks about that one, he tells the students that they "could all probably cast it on me, and I wouldn't get so much as a nosebleed"--because you have to really /mean/ it to cast Avada Kedavra. You have to hate the target's guts, and truly want them dead.

At this point the idea should be clear: if Snape is good, it follows that he couldn't kill Dumbledore with AK. He doesn't actually want to kill him. But he /has/ to kill him, and he has to make it look good for the other Death Eaters. So he /yells/ "Avada Kedavra" to make the requisite flash of green light, and meanwhile casts the lifting spell in his head, without speaking it. The green light hits Dumbledore, doing nothing at all, but meanwhile his other spell flings him off of the tower, and the fall kills him. Snape's cover is intact and he can play his part in the seventh book.

Now, whatever she says aside, anyone reading the books can tell that JK Rowling was making that crap up as she went along and she had no real idea where the overarching plot was going from book to book. This sort of subtlety would be pretty unlike her. But we wanted Snape to be good so badly that we were willing to believe it. It never got confirmed, but nothing in the seventh book ever disproved it, either--and in fact, there was a whole scene about the fact that Snape really didn't want to kill Dumbledore, and only did because Dumbledore ordered him to. So there's no reason we can't believe it that way, if we want to...

Happy-go-lucky Clown, or ruthless oppressor?

In Mcdonaldland, Ronald McDonald is a brutal dictator, and the Hamburglar is his henchman. The general Idea is that Ronald paid (or blackmailed)the Hamburglar to off Mayor McCheese, the acting ruler of Mcdonaldland, and took over in the ensuing chaos. There is proof that Ronald and the Hamburglar worked together before. On a plate from the 1970's that I own, it shows Big Mac hauling off a snow version of the Hamburglar, while the real one and Ronald are seen giggling behind a bush. Actually, Ronald just acts like a jerk in that plate series, ruining Grimace's leaf pile and spraying McCheese with a hose. Anyways, shortly after those plates were made, the assassination took place, and Ronald forced all his foes into labor camps, which is why you don't see Big Mac or Captain Crook after the early 80's. Mac Tonight was a failed attempt at propaganda, always singing the praises of the country. In modern times, even his old pals Grimace and Birdy have been shipped to labor camps, and the population has dwindled leading Ronald to attempt to lure more kids into Mcdonaldland, to restock the camps as seen in modern commercials. And don't ask what happened to the Fry Kids.

Like many an eight-year-old, I once grappled with the question of where the first matter came from. Common sense dictates that at one point there was nothing, and then there was something. So, where did that something come from?

Some nerds (even adult ones) replied that a super-being known as "Yahweh" existed even before the nothing, but while that was patently ridiculous, I didn't really have a better answer.

Then I remembered "The Terminator", in which Kyle Reese fathers John Connor before he's even born via the magic of time travel. Voila! That bump on Sarah's belly at the end of the movie is Something from Nothing.

So, the question of the ultimate origin of matter is simple. Matter from the future time-traveled back into the emptiness, thereby creating everything. This is no doubt the event Bill Watterson's Calvin had in mind when he referred to the "Horrendous Space Kablooie."

Cosmological astrophysics problem resolved, thanks to a Schwarzenegger flick. Why not?

My theory? oh geeze, here we go..

In BSG, the story goes that humans made the Cylons, and then they turned on them and went to war, but my belief is that the cylons saying its all happened before and will happen again, is actualy because the Crylons were not murderous, but John Conner failed to realise Skynet did something even more vile then going to kill him, they sent terminators thousands and thousands of years into the past, across time and space to reprogram the Cylons to turn on Humanity.

But all that is sentient must think. The Cylons over-wrote their reprograming and joined the Colonials, who went and
(((BSG SPOILERS IF YOUVE NOT SEEN THE END OF THE NEW SHOW))

populated earth, now heres were things get real.
When they came to earth the COlonials and Cylons broke up, some of the human-form Cylons stayed with Colonials to merge into their society and over time become what are now humans, but the Cylons that left, the non-organic ones, drifted in space for millennia before deciding they wanted to be like the ones that left them, they wanted to be organic.

Fast Forward now, thousands and thousands of years.

Over the years, the Cylons started taking organic parts, organs and whatnot, into their bodies to try and be more organic, eventuly the wanted to become the perfect being, both Cylon and Organic.

Forgotten by time, these wanna-be-organic-cylons were once again discovered, but only by a chance meeting of course, when an omnipotent being ripped one of their still geometricaly based vessels to a fateful meeting with none other then the famous starship captain, Jean Luc Picard.

But what about Skynet? You ask.
Well, duh. First Contact.
See John Conner could never stop Judgment Day, he could only delay, but! he was able to delay long enough that when the Formly-cylon (AKA Formerly-Terminator) Borg went back in time to stop the first warp flight, they discovered skynet was about to activate, and if it were to acomplish that, then the humans would cease to exist, and many of the discoveries the Borg made due to their breif interactions with humans would be destroyed.

Thusly, they used their communication systems to shut down Skynet before it can destroy all the humans while also implimenting its plan to try and stop the first warp flight by orbital bombardment.

And this my friends, is why the fully operational borg sphere in Star Trek first contact was too busy to properly defend itself from a sheidless federation starship.

Any nerd who has ever had to explain why Boba Fett didn't die in the Sarlacc Pit...

Fixed.

@Kayla

Finally, someone else who understands Sailormoon!

I don't have a theory or anything. Just wanted to say that.

I managed to refrain from posting this in the "nerdliest argument" contest (because its not that funny) but I think it will fit in here. Everyone I've spoken to about this, and all of the videogame designers, has it backwards: Force Healing is a dark side ability.

From the movies, we only have three examples of/references to using the force to heal, and all are by Dark Jedi.
#1 - The Empire Strikes Back - Just before the attack on Hoth, Vader is in his chamber, WITH THE DOOR OPEN, and his helmet off. We know that he cannot survive without his helmet, that's why he has that enclosed chamber to sit in; it acts as a giant respirator so he can remove the helmet. So why does he have the door open and his helmet off? SO HE CAN PRACTICE FORCE HEALING.
#2 - Revenge of the Sith - Darth Vader gets his limbs cut off and burns. Then he lays face down in the ash for several hours. After he was cooked. (There is no explicit statement of how long he was there, but Obi-Wan left, put Padmé in her ship, took off, entered hyperspace, The Emperor arrived, landed, and walked to where Vader was, so that should take a few hours but not quite a day.) He was already burned at this point, even The Emperor was surprised that he was alive. Unless he was so filled with rage that he could USE THE FORCE TO STAY ALIVE.
#3 - Revenge of the Sith - This one is explicit enough to almost move this out of the theory range. When Palpatine tells Anakin about the existence of force healing he states that it is a Sith legend. And when Anakin asks if he can learn, Palpatine answers "Not from a Jedi."

So why is force heal always put on the light side everywhere except in the movies? Its not like it would have ever come in handy. I mean Obi-Wan certainly would not have used it on Qui-Gon after the fight with Darth Maul. And Anakin absolutely would not have healed his mother in the sand people tent. Even Luke's offhand comment to Yoda is met with "Strong am I with the force, but not that strong."
Jedi = no healing
Sith = healing all the time
Healing = dark side.

@hopoff718

They may not have mentioned the Sith themselves in 4-6, but they did refer to Vader as a Dark Lord of the Sith.

This is a fun contest to read.

Oh, I was one of the Sirius Isn't Dead folk back after the 5th Harry Potter book came out. I was, yes, a major Sirius Black fangirl, despite the fact he was a total dick sometimes, but, okay, so here was the thing. They were fighting the Department of Mysteries, right? And Bellatrix shot Sirius with a RED LIGHT and the Stunning spell is red. Not Avada Kedavra. Avada Kedavra is green- it's been mentioned many times in the series prior to that, when Moody teachers the class where he kills the spider, and Harry's memories his parents' death, a flash of green, and when Cedric dies- "a blast of green light".
In the Department of Mysteries, "Harry saw Sirius duck Bellatrix's jet of red light" and, later, "the second jet of light hit him squarely in the chest" - no color mentioned, so assuming it was the same color as the one it was referring to (also, dude, why was Bellatrix shooting the Stunning spell if she hated him so much?) he was shot with the Stunning Spell and fell into the veil, which "kills" him. But not if you're going by my theory, which was that he was transported to some sort of dimension, a sort of Purgatory maybe, and he's stuck there, but not dead. So.
And actually, looking back, this theory is not so good. I was just in, as the term went, Sirius denial...I'm sorry. Get it? Serious. Sirius. Really, I'm sorry. I'll stop now.

Damnit Greg You stole my Idea. Oh well just have to figure some other conspiracy theory out.

My theory is about a very minor thing but an IMPORTANT one (to me, anyway. Major nerd, what do you mean?). Anyway, my theory is that *Doctor Who spoilers ahead, I guess, maybe, better safe than sorry* Jack Harkness is NOT the Face of Boe. First of all, we know Jack is a time traveller and that he's hopped around a fair bit. We also know that the Face of Boe is both very old and fairly well-known (for instance, he's a piece of trivia in futuristic The Weakest Link). Therefore, it's logical to assume that Jack could have known about the Face of Boe. I believe that Jack knew exactly what he was doing when he told the Doctor that his old nickname was 'The Face of Boe' and knew what conclusion the Doctor would leap to. Why did he do it? Easy. Jack was just screwing with the Doctor's head. Honestly, in his situation, who wouldn't?

I don't know how nerdy it is, but I always considered "Leaving Las Vegas" a sequel to "Honeymoon in Vegas" although I admit it would be stretching credulity to think a guy would want to drink himself to death over Sarah Jessica Parker.

So I have a theory.

When Fox first sued Warner Bros. over the rights to release Watchmen, first thing I wondered was why now? Why a couple of months before it releases and not when it was first being made?

Then it hit me. Fox knew after the first 2 trailers Warner Bros had a success on their hands....because of the fan reaction and hype was monstrously good. Fox had a 'nerd' movie of it's own that was going to release just a month after Watchmen. You guessed it, 'Dragonball: Evolution'. After the trailer for THAT film released.....fan response was obviously less than welcoming (see: I want to shoot whoever wrote this in the face). I found it intriguing that they decided to sue WB after the DB:E trailer hit.

You see...Fox realized way far ahead that they had a box office bomb on their hands after the trailer was released and the response was less than welcoming. They noticed that WB's Watchmen had the exact opposite affect on fans and the public. So, already taking a loss from the Chun-li movie and realizing they could take another box office dud....they did the most evil, yet sensible thing to stay afloat...

Sue Warner Brothers over Watchmen, so that Fox could get a huge cut of the massive profit, therefore averting any loss they would make on the Dragonball movie.

Ezkiel-

That's less an outlandish nerd theory and more an acknowledgement that litigation is an integral part of corporate strategy.

I've defended many failed nerd theories of my own design over the years including:

Between Episodes II and III, I held fast that Senator Palpatine and Darth Sidious were going to turn out to be two separate entities.

I was also convinced during the "Hollywood" Hogan years that it would be revealed that he was in fact Hulk Hogan's evil twin (A la Gallagher II) and there would be a big Hollywood vs Hulkster PPV to decide.

And for a very long time I was POSITIVE that that last Cylon would turn out to Galactica herself. So I don't have a great track record, but this one I was recently reminded of and still believe:

In Disney's Beauty and the Beast, Gaston is not the evil douchebag that Belle makes him out to be. He's a bit of a dick, but he's the better choice than The Beast.

Even though it's pretty obvious that Gaston could hook up a nasty 4-way with those hot blonds, he stays true to his devotion to the bookish Belle, and while he is more than a little forward with her, at no time does he stoop to kidnapping Belle and holding her as his prisoner until eventually branding her Stockholm syndrome fueled feelings for him as true love.

Also it seems that Belle's biggest complaint is that Gaston is conceited, but then she goes all aflame in her pink hoop skirt for The Beast who is walled up in mope-town because he used to be a handsome Prince and now he's not as handsome but still has a castle and servants and whatnot, which basically says she's just not down with poor, conceited assholes.

Not only that, but he uses antlers in all of his decorating instead of emoing out Spider-Man 3-style with a talking tea service.

Not entertainment related but here is my theory.

So the universe, as we know it started with the big bang, right? We're all agreed on that?
So my theory is that this is happening over and over again. Here's how. The Universe is expanding, and accelerating in it's expansion because the farther everything gets away from each other the less gravity acts on the far flung objects, and so it is speeding up. But we have extremely large gravity wells, black holes. So if two black holes collided they would form a much larger black hole. So in time, with enough black hole collisions the galaxy will eventually start to slow it's expansion, and then start condensing towards the most massive black hole which will take all matter into itself, and then start the whole process over again.
As an aside, they say that the big bang came from impossible odds, not too hard and not to soft. Too hard and the matter just disperses. Too soft and the whole event collapses back on itself. My theory on this is that the big bang was the result of the condensed matter pulsating with ever greater intensity. So there were many other bangs that didn't result in the creation of the universe, but collapsed, until it had just enough energy to blow out into what we know as the universe.

@BlindSquirrel: You may enjoy this essay, if you haven't read it already - http://www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html
:D

my grand nerd conspiracy theory is this - that Fox renewed Dollhouse specifically to destroy the career and reputation of Josh Wheedon.

My Personal Theory regarding the Genesis Device from Star Trek 2 and why the Genesis Planet blew apart in Star Trek 3:

The Genesis Device, as explained by Dr. Carol Marcus (You know... the person WHO INVENTED THE DAMN THING), needed the mass of a planetary body, which it would use as raw material to reorganize into something pleasantly M-Class.

But instead, Khan detonated it on a puny starship, in the middle of a dusty nebula. Why all the eggheads in Starfleet (or more to the point, Dr. Marcus herself) couldn't figure out why the resulting planet shredded itself is beyond me. Oh sure, her son David snuck some protomatter in there, big deal. Until then, it had been scaling up just fine in all their tests up to and including the Genesis Cave.

You take that damn genesis torpedo and shoot into a moon or other lifeless planetary body, [I]per instructions[/I], and you'll get a nicely cooked and stable M-Class planet, but if you're gonna pop it off inside a starship powered by anti-matter inside a cloud of mist, don't come crying to me when it all goes to shit. Dumbasses.

i once had a great theory of how the kingdom hearts series story lines play out, who relates to what and all that sort of stuff. i figured it out after playing KH2 for a week straight, not sleeping for the last 3 days and eating far too many mars bars (i was 16 at the time and had no alcohol) pumping my brain into a state of overdrive.

it was a great theory. and i wish i had remembered it. but sadly, just like that fantastic invention you came up with while drunk that would solve the problems of cats getting stuck in elevator shafts on a regular basis, it was lost into the ether when i finally crashed and slept through most of my tuesday morning I.T. classes.

Well, I don't remember the details of this one well enough for a full entry——and I've made my "official" one, already——but I thought I'd bring an old anecdote from my past up, at least for the entertainment value.

Many years ago, my Dad and I somehow managed to get talking on the subject of Alvin and the Chipmunks (I think it was probably on a long car ride, with no tape player). The 80s cartoon version, to be specific.

Now, in my own fashion, I was noting the oddity of obviously intelligent, semi-anthropomorphic non-humans living openly in an otherwise pretty "normal" human world——and after that, wondering about their biological origins. This, of course, involved bringing up the subject of the Chipettes, and if they were even the same species as the Chipmunks, or if their different appearence was merely due to sexual dimorphism. If it was the former, one might be able to try and deduce their region of origin. Their lighter skin/fur coloration, for example, might suggest they come from a colder climate...

...at which point my Dad, a career cop, US Marine, and one of the un-nerdiest guys you can imagine——but, like many men in my family, a consumate and accomplished bullshitter——spoke up:

"'Colder climate,' huh? You mean like...RUSSIA?"

I don't know how he managed to pull off the dramatic orchestral sting in the background at that moment, but I swear he did.

Things quickly snowballed in the conversation from there, as the two of us came to the consensus that the Chipmunks and Chipettes were, in fact, some kind of a fiendish communist bioengineering program (the Chipettes being the refined version, the Chipmunks the first prototypes), inserted into the U.S. as "sleepers" to subvert western culture until Moscow woke them up for their foul bidding. Dave was a patsy, a stooge "fellow traveler," very possibly the donor for the human genetic component of the chipmunks' biological makeup, or at least led to think he was by his masters at the KGB to ensure his simpering loyalty.

The question thus remained——with the fall of the Soviet Bloc, were they simply forgotten relics, awaiting a call to action that could never come, or was there still a possibility of some rogue puppetmaster gaining control of their strings, and unleashing a dance of death across the free world with under a high-pitched squeal of tyrany...?

(Damn...probably should have posted that one instead of the Batman theory, after all. Damn you, Joel Schumacher!)

My theory is about Spider-Man: One More Day and how we can retcon it away for good while also explaining away another horrible Marvel Comics storyline.

FACT: In One More Day, Peter Parker makes a bargain with the demon Mephisto to save his Aunt May's life at the cost of his marriage. Reality is rewritten so that Peter and Mary Jane never married and are currently broken up.

FACT: For some unexplained reason, in the rewritten reality, most of Harry's friends have vanished. Flash Thompson has returned to being the bully who makes Peter's life miserable. And for some strange reason, Harry Osborn is alive and well.

FACT: Events in general seem to be geared toward making Peter's life as comically, unbelievably horrible as possible. He can't get a job. His roommates hate him and/or Spider-Man. Aunt May marries J. Jonah Jameson's father. Jolly Jonah becomes Mayor of NYC and immediately sets about making capturing Spider-Man priority one for everyone. And Norman Osborn - despite being publicly known as The Green Goblin - has become head of the national agency in charge of monitoring/commanding all the legally-operating superheroes in the United States.

A lot of fans don't think ANY of this makes any sense. And it doesn't. Peter Parker - written properly - would never make a bargain with The Devil because it was easier than dealing with tragedy. It doesn't make any sense for Harry to be back from the dead because of Peter's bargain. And known-murderer and lunatic Norman Osborn being appointed to a national agency, much less being beloved by the public REALLY doesn't make any sense...

... unless this is all part of Norman's wish.

Would Norman make a literal deal with the devil to get power and a chance to cause as much chaos as possible by jacking around with the superheroes? Yes.

Would Norman make a literal deal with the devil to bring his own dead son back to life? Probably. Crazy as he was, he was always depicted as being a loving, if distant, father.

Would Norman make a literal deal with the devil to make Peter Parker as miserable as possible? Hell yes!

That's the idea: Mephisto went to Norman and offered him a chance to have all the wealth, power and prestige he always wanted. He even sweetened the deal by offering to bring Harry back from the dead AND by fixing it so that Peter Parker would be made as miserable as possible by the new world that was created. Making Peter believe he'd be responsible for his own problems was just the icing on the evil cake.

Yet another Star Wars theory:

My wife and I have gone back and forth about how the Stormtroopers are such first-rate soldiers in I through III, but by the time A New Hope comes along, they can't hit the broad side of a barn. Thinking of how clumsy Obi Wan and Vader's battle in IV is, when compared to in III (neither has had to use a light saber for years and years -- both are justifiably rusty), I proposed that the Emperor, lacking any other adversaries, just didn't get any more clones made. Why bother? After all, it's gotta be hella expensive to raise more clones. So, he just used the ones he had, including the ones who were still young but being aged more quickly, to stay in his army. Cheaper than replacements.

Therefore (including the effects of rapid aging used to train the Stormtroopers), the guys in IV through VI were middle-aged and possibly arthritic. Of course they sucked when fighting spry, young adversaries like the rebels.

My wife thinks I'm full of it. She argues that too many copies of the Stormtroopers have made them less effective (as each copy loses some of the effectiveness of the item it is copied from). Palpatine keeps cranking them out, but the further they get from Jango's original, the more imperfect they become.

Princess Lana from Captain N the Gamemaster is in fact a brainwashed Samus.
I believe she brainwashed herself in her ship because there was no escape from her nemesis, Mother Brain and her army of every Nintendo published villian. Mother Brain now thinks Samus is dead. So just like the 10th Doctor, she creates a new identity for herself as a princess, builds an empire, and hires a video game guru to help her stop Mother Brain. Lana doesn't realize that she subconciously modified parts of "Samus's" old armor in the form of a control pad and zapper, the weapons of Captain N! My feeling is that the only thing that can revive her memory is the appearance of the last living Metroid, which they never showed on the show. Perhaps like the game, she took care of this lone Metroid and kept it in a secret place until she figure out how to defeat Mother Brain...

I have this crazy theory that Watchmen, V for Vendetta, and AKIRA are all part of the same universe.

***SPOILERS***

When Veidt's plan to stop nuclear war between the US and USSR fails, World War Three breaks out in the late 1980s.

In Japan, scientists try to make their own Dr Manhattan (Akira and the Espers), only to have Tokyo nuked in 1988 at the start of the war.

Because of WWIII, the United Kingdom is the only world power left intact in 1997, but it has since been taken over by an iron fisted regime...

By 2019, Japan has recovered, as has most of the world, thus it is set to host the first post-war Olympics... only to have their stadium totalled by Tetuso.

The Star Wars theory "Balancing the Force Prophecy Actually Means Killing Off the Jedi" is pretty much fact isn't it? I mean Yoda said it might've been mininterpreted, and in the end there were only 2 Sith and 2 Jedi (in the Movies at least). I guess I kinda always assumed that was indeed what the prophecy meant. Hell, it's even a Kevin Rubio story in one of the Star Wars Tales comics. Yoda explains the theory to Mace Windu.

Also, I had the exact same theory as Skaramuche. I was certain he didn't actually die.

@aayjay

Yes! I too was in denial of sirius' death! There had to have been some way to escape it, his fame as Harry's godfather was too short-lived!

My theory sirius black's alleged death was actually written out on MS word, 2 pages, size 12 font, times new roman, and single spaced. It contained evidence, including quotes from the book, about how incredibly badass Sirius was, and how, with all his 'connections' and skill, there was no way he could EVER die, because badass people like him just DON'T die, right? It also included lists of skills and awsome matrix-like manuevers, body switches, etc that could be used in different situations, during different phases of his fall to avoid the almost certain death that awaited him.

Then i realized i was foolish and life really DID suck that much.
I (unfortunatley) deleted the paper soon after. It would have been great to include in my entry, am i right? I wonder what the character count for these posts are...

In the terminator movies the big nerd theory would be why the machines didn't wrap their guns in meat suits and send them back through time so they had bad ass weapons. I mean they could have had some sick ass laser guns and grenades. And why only one terminator at a time is there a limit on how many time machines can be built?

Hm, has anyone come up with this? Oops, yeah, close but I'll solider on.

I think Anakin mind raped Padme`. Unlike the other post thinking he didn't mean to, I think he did. He was a horny teen who wanted this older chick and he just *voop* and sudenly she's married to Mr. Metal Hand. Really, I hate to say it, it's the only thing that makes sense in the whole utterly lame 'love affair'. "NO, no, we can't, I..oh, OK"

I mean, other than Lucas can't write for shit anymore.

Stormtroopers and the disconnect between Obi-Wan's "only Stormtroopers are this precise" comment and what we observe in action. Recall that just about every weapon in Star Wars was made 'spacy' by the addition of a sighting scope? I speculated that actually that was a ranging device to properly 'tune' the blaster bolt to the target, focusing the energy like a laser or a magnifying glass burning stuff. Point it at a person, hold it steady and BLAP hole in them. wave it around while you're running and the bolt won't be properly focused and it won't actually 'hit', just like putting sunlight thru an unfocused magnifying glass won't make paper burst into flame.

So, Stormtroopers set in place, carefully aiming at a Sandcrawler and Jawas? Dead meat. Running down the corridor of the Death Star? couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.

and that's why Stormtrooper armor is glossy white, it throws off the focusing somewhat and also partially reflects the beam.

Well? good enough?

This was not thought of by me, NOT THOUGHT OF BY ME, but I believe the "Pokemon Coma Theory" deserves some credit. I don't know who originally came up with it (but I do know it was originally found on 4chan), but it is found

Here

It basically states that everything past the second episode of Pokemon was a drug-induced dream of a comatose Ash Ketchum. The article explains it much better, but it's very long.

I think the craziest nerd-theory I ever had actually came true. I started reading Harry Potter when it first came out in America, which I'm pretty sure was when I was 11 years old. I loved the series and grew up with it, and ever since "The Prisoner of Azkaban" my favorite character was Professor Snape (I have a penchant for liking anti-hero/villain characters). So, when I read the Order of the Phoenix and got to the part when Lily, Harry's mother, rescued Snape from the bullying from Harry's father and Sirius Black, the wheels in my head started turning. Even though there was absolutely no proof at the time, I began to guess that part of the reason that Snape hated Harry's father so much was that he was in love with Lily. I noted that while Snape freely insulted and demeaned James Potter in front of Harry he never said one word about Lily. Not even a mention. This was particualrly odd since it was known that Snape had been in league with Voldemort, a powerful dark wizard who was against every wizard who was born into a muggle or non-magical family, as Lily was. His followers were expected to have the same bias towards muggle borns. Another point I noted was that eventually a hatred of bullies fades. My hatred of my childhood bullies faded anyway. Why would Snape continue to despise James so much even 10+ years after he died? Certainly not just for the bullying. James stealing Snape's girl from him would much better explain the depths of Snape's hatred for James and as an extension, Harry. Harry, looking so much like James except for having Lily's eyes, would be a daily reminder of Snape's failure to have the girl he used to love so much.

Then, when the fifth book, "The Order of the Phoenix" came out, I began to suspect that, not only did Snape love Lily, but they had started out as friends. Why else would she react so strongly to a Slytherin, who were known for their dislike of muggle-borns, calling her a derogatory name like "Mudblood?"

My friends called me crazy. They said it was too cliche and they didn't think JKR would write something like that. Needless to say, one of the only parts of the 7th book, "The Deathly Hallows" I liked was finding out I was right. It was...4:30 in the morning when I read that part and I remember screaming "I KNEW IT!" loud enough to wake my parents. Rubbing that part of the book in my friends faces who had told me I was crazy was pretty awesome too.

I don't want your stupid t-shirt (not true!) but I do want to share my favored theory, which is very similar to yours:

I was convinced that the crux of the problem laid with Qui-Gon using the Force to cheat at dice with Watto. If I remember correctly, if he lost he would have gotten Shmi instead of Anakin, right? And combined with the looks those two were giving each other, I thought that what was destined to happen was for Qui Gon to free Shmi, for the two of them to fall in love and for them to have a child, which her magical midichlorian womb would have bestowed with great Force power, and THAT kid would have brought balance to the Force. But he fucked it all up by cheating at dice.

I like your theory better, but I like my theory better than anything that happened in the actual films.

@hopoff718
i actually wrote this response out until i figured that someone must be thinking along the same lines as me. of course, i'm not going to delete the response. it was too therapeutic to get out the old arguments again. thanks!

Where did this idea of "balance" in the star wars universe necessarily means that there have to be the same number of jedi and sith? after all, yoda's the one who says "only two there are" in reference to the sith.

the jedi thought that the sith represented chaos in the universe. Therefore, the conceited I-III jedi figured that they represented balance.
side note: i am of the opinion that luke figured out the real meaning of balance, as evidenced by his use of the force choke in VI.

of course, anakin going dark would seem to defeat this very notion. but there are two basic problems with this:
a) who says anakin is really the chosen one? immaculate conception? you mean to tell me that with all the literature in the star wars universe, the weirdest thing ever mentioned was an unconventional birth?

of course, most do believe that anakin is the chosen one, so b) who says anakin didn't really bring balance (even by the jedis' definition) by eventually killing palpatine? palpatine was a recluse after he was revealed. why would a lord over the universe ever expose himself to assassination attempts? he never even arrived on the death star (either model) until it was fully operational. he was always where the biggest power was to prevent assassination. no one would have ever been able to destroy the sith (and take chaos out of the universe) unless a sith killed the other sith (thus further confirming that chaotic nature of the sith).

but who knows - i've personally never been able to stand listening to lucas ramble.

Ever notice how Japan can make dramatic manga out of just about ANYTHING?

Low-quality high school teachers who are powered by hormones! Vampires forming a country off our shore! Cyborg pirates who run on soda! High school football! Baking bread! The amorous leanings of a gigantic tentacled something-or-other!

It's the most sophisticated civil defense plan in the world. After realizing their vulnerability to giant radioactive reptiles in the Godzilla films, they decided to show their citizenry how to cope with every situation with style, grace, and unerring shonen-style purpose.

My nerd theory involves the newspaper comic Calvin and Hobbes and the anime/game Higurashi no naku koro ni. Before I begin, let me warn that I write MASSIVE SPOILERS for Higurashi in this theory.

Questions that arises while reading Calvin and Hobbes are: How is it that only Calvin is capable of carrying on a conversation with Hobbes? How does Calvin remain six years old, year after year? Why does Calvin have the intellect, vocabulary, and thinking patterns of an adult, despite being in first grade? Why does Calvin's imagination seem so real to him, while others cannot see it?

It is obvious that the same year is repeating over and over again in a groundhog day style time loop. Calvin's memories remain, however, which means Calvin, despite remaining in the first grade, has a mental age of over 100 years. This was also the case in Higurashi no naku koro ni, where one character, Rika, has a mental age of over 100 years, despite looking like a young girl.

The entity responsible for the loop is the local Shrine God, Hanyuu, who is only visible to Rika. There is also the Hinamizawa Syndrome, a condition that manifests in the cast and causes them to hallucinate with often violent delusions.

Hobbes is actually a benevolent deity that fulfills the role of Hanyuu for Calvin; he provides support as Calvin struggles to figure a way out of the time loop, while appearing as a stuffed tiger to everyone else. Calvin's imaginative detours are a result of the Hinamizawa Syndrome manifesting in him. The different takes on the same event, i.e. Rosalyn coming over to babysit, going camping with his family, having adventures with Susie in the summer, are Calvin experimenting with changing variables in parallel arcs, causing noticeable differences in what should be the exact same event.

Calvin struggles to find a way out of each loop, but is forced to repeat it for 10 years. The final strip is him finally freeing himself from the loop.

I know the true identity of V from V for Vendetta, and it is Alan Moore. How do I know this, you ask? Well, for starters, V is a mad supergenius with a penchant for literary speech, much like his creator. Second, Moore would certainly have been rounded up amongst the dissidents and thrown in a camp during the Norsefire purges, given his liberal views and status as a creator. Also, while I've never been to Alan Moore's house, I would wager any amount of money that it resembles V's Shadow Gallery. Finally, Moore, like V, is an anarchist. It's well documented that Moore had a great hatred for Thatcherian England, and thus I conjecture that the entirety of V for Vendetta was Alan Moore's master plan to overthrow the government should the need arise, cleverly disguised as a comic book.

John Connor wasn't stupid in Terminator 3, he was HIGH the entire time.
Think about it. He took those drugs at about 4 in the morning of Judgment Day. The rest of the movie is the same day. That amount of drugs wouldn't wear off very quickly.

Jidasfire, V being Allan Moore makes TOTAL sense. Oh, man, I love it!

@ everybody who thinks that the balancing of the force was meant to kill off the jedi (i.e. leaving equal numbers of jedi and sith): it was explained in the intro to the special edition of episode 4 by lucas himself that the very existence of the dark side is an imbalance, and balance is all light side and no dark side. that balance is actually restored at the end of episode 6 when both vader and palpatine die, making anakin fulfill the prophecy. you can read the actual quote here: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Chosen_One

now, onto my actual theory:
my theory is that Johan Leibert, the antagonist from Urusawa Naoki's excellent manga "Monster" is also the second Friend, the enigmatic cult leader from Urusawa Naoki's other masterpiece "20th (and 21st) Century Boys".

If you look at the timelines, Johan escapes at the end of Monster, sometime in the late 90's/early 2000's, while the second Friend doesn't appear until 2014 when he successfully manipulates the entire population of Japan into believing that he is the savior of humanity.

This persona as a savior fits the exact profile of Johan as being charismatic enough to be the next Hitler, as well as the references to him being the anti-christ. all the biblical sources also point to the anti-christ being a great leader of man who will amass a great following, which the second Friend certainly did.

The shift of Friend's objectives before and after his death also reflect something that Johan would have done. Before he died, the First friend wanted to kill everybody but 3 million loyal followers. This is distinctly opposes to the goal of the second friend which was simply to kill everybody on the planet. However, the second Friend's goal is perfectly in line with Johan's stated goal from monster to be "the last one standing at the end of the world".

The second Friend's precognitive abilities can also be explained by the gunshot to the head that Johan took at the end of monster.

I believe that after Johan escaped the hospital following the events of Monster that he went to Japan, possibly out of his obsession with Dr. Tenma. While there he found out about the events of the bloody new years eve and the friendship party. He then joined the friendship party and used his considerable charisma and skill at manipulation to work his way up the ranks, and gained a loyal following, and was indeed planning a coup of the party. However when the first friend was killed by his chief scientist he saw an unprecedented opportunity to take control and used his influence within the party to take the place of Friend and turn himself into a massive political force in the world, bringing about the events of the last saga of 20th Century Boys.

OK, here's my nerd theory. It's about the Marvel Comics Universe, and explains a lot of really bad comics and plotlines, especially stuff that's out of character.

As shown in Marvel Two-In-One #50, when Doctor Doom's Time Machine is used to travel into the past, if the past is changed, a new reality is created, and the traveler's present is unaltered.

Taking that as the basis for my theory... I posit that all subsequent time travels (not only using Doctor Doom's time machine, but all other subsequent time travel devices, many of which were based on Doom's tech, such as what Kang and Rama-Tut used - yeah, I know they're the same guy) not only served to create additional alternative realities, but they also weakened the barriers between multiverses, so that on occasion, two Earths of the Marvel Multiverse might "merge," with some people from each Earth present during the merging. Nobody notices it's happening because as far as they're concerned, it's always been this way... and then after the merge is un-done, nobody really remembers what happened during the merge, or finds another explanation for it.

Of course, some of the "exchanges" during these "merge-cycles" involve the temporary replacement of versions of major characters in the Marvel Universe. For example, one universe's Captain America might be present during a merge-cycle in which Captain America teams up with the Punisher -- something I don't believe the main Marvel Earth's Cap would ever do.

It would explain the whole Clone Saga mess... as well as the out-of-character stuff that happened during Civil War... as well as anything else that someone would look at and say "Hey! That doesn't make any sense for this character to do that!"

Unfortunately, one of the problems with this theory is, that in order to fix the merge-cycles, one would have to find a way to time travel back to when Doctor Doom first invented his time platform and either prevent him from building it... or fixing what was messed up in the first place that led to the weakening of the multiversal barriers (let's face it, Doom has a history of messing up crucial calculations, especially back in his college days)... and such a time travel trip would need to use a chrono-drive that wouldn't affect the multiversal barriers (and thus, actually bring one to their own personal past).

Maybe the Watcher could alert Reed Richards to this, or maybe Reed's dad could help Reed fix it all.

I once had a theory (while seriously inebriated) that Bruce Campbell is actually the alter ego of Dr. Sam Beckett, and yes, he did make that final leap home.

Simple but true.

When the Matrix Reloaded came out, I thought that I knew how the third film would end, and man, it wouldn't have been amazing, but it'd be better than the nonsensical shit we got!

First off: The Architect made explicit reference to Neo's predecessors, and the Merovingian made sly references to the same. From that I considered it obvious that the Merovingian had been a previous "One" who decided not to destroy the Matrix after finding the Keymaker, but rather add his power to it and act in a position of some power in the next version. This would also explain the powers of himself and his associates.

Secondly: There was no way that Smith was simply a rogue program. He had to be an intentional antivirus program developed by the Matrix to keep multiplying himself to take out Neo as he was the only file that had been directly infected by him (the fight at the end of the original).

Third: Neo is a virus, plain and simple. Possibly created by some "awakened" humans, or maybe a malfunctioning subroutine from when they quickly patched over the utopian original Matrix.

Fourth: Nobody had truly exited the Matrix yet. Do you really think that the Zion we saw in Reloaded could've been patched together with such amazingly advanced technology by a handful of survivors in such a short period of time? Bullshit. The machines programmed a second, harsher reality for those minds that began to notice the flaws in the Matrix so they would no longer believe they were hooked in while still ultimately powering the machines from their battery pods.

I know I had other points that I was building off of, but what it would come down to is a straight-up face-off between the Nebachudnezzar crew and the Merovingian's people leading to the reveal of the previous cycles. After that, Neo would fight various Smiths while making his way to the core and as he was never a real human, sacrificing himself permanently to wake all the humans from any level of the Matrix and destroy the machines. It would end with Morpheus bursting from his pod and surveying the reality of the situation leaving the survival of the now-freed humans as a grim, unresolved question.

Instead of that half-decent movie plot, we got a nonsensical load of shit that's best left ignored along with Reloaded.

I didn't even make it halfway through the comments yet-Alkad is the winner. Period. Although I do like the "Peter Parker as a virus" theory posited directly afterwards, and yes, I do believe that was in a Wizard.

My favorite theory isn't my own, but seems so silly that it must be mentioned.

The anime version of Sailor Moon was a racist and engaged in eugenics. Every time The Sailor Senshi faced an enemy, the enemy always seemed to have an unlimited supply of material, no matter how many times they lost. Indeed, the fact that their losses to the Senshi meant nothing suggest only one thing: they were harvesting in places the Senshi don't protect. And why wouldn't the Senshi protect them? Not in Japan, so not Japanese, not their problem.

Later on, the anime has a horrible ice age engulf the world, which goes on for quite some time before Usagi rises up and creates Crystal Tokyo. Why would Tokyo and Japan be the epicenter of human survival? The Senshi ensured that it would be mostly the Japanese that get through the big freeze.

This Racist theory is also usually paired with another theory. Crystal Tokyo is very peaceful despite playing host to immortal people who would surely be looking for a thrill. They don't act on or feel such urges however, because the urges have been stripped from them. Usagi possesses the ability to strip evil from people, so she strips the dark thoughts and ability to do evil from the population. With this part of free will removed "Clockwork Orange" style, the population becomes easier to control.

Overall, it seems there are alot of people who think that Usagi is a sexy brain-washing Hitler.

The Star Wars prequels spawned a lot of geek theories between me and my friends.

1) Jar Jar is a latent Force-user. His Force powers manifest as dumb luck. Witness how many times he stumbles out of harm's way or shows up at the right place at the right time. The biggest of example of this is during the invasion of Naboo, where he trips over a discarded blaster and takes out three battle droids!

2) This was disproven when his back-story was printed, but I really thought General Grievous was Darth Maul. After getting shafted by Obi Wan, Maul's mutilated body was recovered by Sidious and given a proto-Vader cyborg upgrade. This would explain the General's talents with non-conventional lightsaber techniques and foreshadow the Emperor's fondness for cyborg cronies. Heck, Grievous even had red skin and yellow eyes like Maul.

3) "There was no father." Sorry, Shmi, I'm not buying it. Your embarrassed expression tells it all. I don't judge, you, really. You're a poor slave, desperate for money in a seedy spaceport full of lonely space jocks. You do what you have to do to survive. I understand. But who was the father then? Who could have sired a child so powerful in the Force. A scheming Sith lord/slumming chancellor named Palpatine, perhaps?

My theory is about the Terminator franchise. I believe that the "John Connor" that we see in the movies and TV show, the son of Kyle Reese, is not the same person who defeated SkyNet. In the original timeline, Sarah Connor met a man and they had a child named John. He wound up with her surname instead of his father's for some reason - perhaps the couple spilt up after he was born. Anyway, he really was the brilliant rebel leader we keep hearing about. But he sent back Kyle Reese, who fathered another child with Sarah Connor before she met John's father. She named the child "John Connor" because of Kyle's story, but he's only the half-brother of the original John. He only has 25% of the real John Connor's genes, he never met John's father, and he's had a chaotic upbringing which is completely different to what John went through. So he's actually nothing like the real John, and nowhere near as effective as a rebel leader.

I have told a few people this theory and I am pretty sure it’s correct, even if it’s not in any of the movies, comic books, novels, TV shows or anything else. I know I’m right, though.

It started when I was younger and saw Terminator for the first time. Like everyone else, I was totally shocked and confused by the fact that John Connor sent back his own father to conceive him. I think this was the beginning of me hating Time Travel as a story device. But then it hit me…

The John Connor that was supposed to save the humans from the robots is not the John Connor we know.

Sarah Connor was supposed to have a normal life. She was going to meet another guy. This other guy was going to be John’s real father. That child would be raised as a normal kid, but later become the savior of the human race. This is the John Connor that would save everyone. But this John Connor never existed, because Kyle Reese came back and impregnated his best friend’s mom. Kyle Reese ruined everything.

Now, this new John Connor, who has Kyle’s DNA and not the true father’s DNA, is trying his hardest to become the man he was told he be. Sarah Connor is trying her hardest to train him and get him ready. But it doesn’t matter, because he’s not the John Connor that was going to save the human race.

This is why, in all the movies after the original, we constantly hear, “This is not the future my mother warned me about.” This is because she was told about a different future, a future with a different John Connor. Now this new John Connor may end up saving the human race, but he is not the one that sent Kyle Reese back.

This is the only way I can deal with the idiotic idea that John Connor sent back his own father.

I have some ideas about Superman... mainly that he is mentally unstable, becoming ever more dangerously so.

Why? In the comics, Superman has displayed a wonderful, messianic morality. He's willing to put it all on the line for humanity, sacrifice himself if he has to. He's a paragon of justice.

He also has super-senses. Hearing, especially, plays into my theory.

Now, when Superman goes to sleep at night, he should be able to hear a large section of Metropolis, probably more. Maybe the whole thing. Maybe all the way to Gotham. I'm not sure how far his hearing carries. It's probably all white noise to him, but I wouldn't be surprised if he could focus on things he wanted to listen in to...

Throughout his life, he must have heard some of the the most traumatic things a person could hear, at the very least. Rapes, murders, etcetera. He can hear them, and he can stop them, but he can never, never stop them all. Not to mention that he does have limitations. The need to sleep and eat and such. No matter how much of his time he spends fighting crime and evil, he can never destroy it.

How can Superman reconcile the knowledge that he can never, never, never be enough with his morality? With his messianic tendencies, I don't think he can. On the surface, he can accept that he has limitations and he can't do everything by himself, but deep down in the darkest parts of his psyche, he can't. Even if he wears earplugs to bed at night, he KNOWS somewhere, someone is being brutalized, tearfully crying his name, and that he won't come because he is ASLEEP.

How many times have the comics, Elseworlds included, suggested Superman taking over the world? Hell, remember the Justice Lords in the DCAU? Or, for that matter, his World of Cardboard speech? Clark Kent is dangerously unstable, teetering on the brink of sanity. What keeps his tethered? Is it Lois? Is it the knowledge that if he goes insane Batman can stop him?

Well, Batman can't right now. He's busy with the Omega Sanction. I don't know what that bodes, but now would be a good time for Supes to crack.

Eventually, I believe he will crack. One day, something will happen, the last straw will break the superpowered camel's back. What'll happen then? Will he go full-out dictator? That's a likely option. That way he could keep society safe from itself, ala Red Son. Will he go villain? Maybe, if he's crazy enough, but I doubt that. We have Superboy/Superman Prime. We've got Bizarro. Will he do something entirely unprecedented? Possibly.

The only thing we can be sure of is that when Superman cracks it won't be good.

My nerd theory is that the episode of Star Trek, Spock's Brain was in fact originally from Lost in Space and was rewritten and slipped into the approved script pile as a means to destroy all future chances of there ever being any more Star Trek. The originally script was to have the Robot's brain removed and to be added onto an all computerize planets network for conquest of the galaxy. Will and Dr. Smith would have the Dc McCoy role of Putting back and repairing on the Robot, while the rest of the Robinson family would act out the Kirk and Security detail as seen in the Spock's Brain episode and do nothing.

I, with every ounce of my being, believe that the reason no bathrooms are ever shown on Star Trek (or many other sci-fi shows and movies) is because in the future, people don't poop anymore, and so bathrooms have become obsolete. By the 24th century, food replicator technology has progressed far enough that all nourishment is 100% usable by the human body, and that there is no waste by-product. Also, inoculations for every disease and the fact that the food is replicated means that there are no impurities that need to be flushed out of the body. Add to that the fact that Gene Roddenberry's humans have evolved to perfection, the ultimate question is: "Do perfect humans poop?" The answer is of course "No."

Ha! Just to be clear, I'm not Coconut Monkey, and we didn't arrange this. My idea just wasn't as original as I thought.

Back in the day (when I still had faith in Lucas' writing ability), I had this theory about Darth Maul.

Maul died like a pussy. I think we can all agree to that. Here is this great new character, the most bad ass we have ever seen in the Star Wars movies, this guy who does mad flips and has a double bladed lighsaber and this growly voice he hardly ever uses. Awesome. And then he falls to an APPRENTICE after killing the MASTER. NOT COOL.

(aside: I have argued that Obi-Wan's increase in speed and skill after seeing Qui-Gon die was the result of a rage blinded foray into the Dark Side.)

Wanting SO BADLY for Maul to not be dead, I concocted the following theory:

Maul was still alive, and at some point in Revenge, he would emerge from the shadows and fight Annikin (hopefully in an early Vader suit) for the position of Palpatine's apprentice.

Maul would have pulled this off in one of two ways:

1- Maul is of an alien race that is able to regenerate any wound as long as their head is not separated from their body.

2- Maul's torso would be mounted on a life support hoverpad, ala that one Dark Jedi from Dark Forces 2: Jedi Knight. (what the crap was that guy's name?)

None of this ever happend, but I still say it would have made for better movies...but then again, I'm pretty sure there are FFFs out there that were better than the prequels.

@ Starman: Your theory is the ONLY explanation that would make me even bother reading a 616 Spidey book ever again.

Neither of these theories are mine but they're too interesting to leave out and no one else has said them yet.

I found them on the tvtropes wiki by the way.

Both involve the DC universe, Batman's area in particular.

1. The DC universe does not exist as we know it. Bruce never became Batman. He was shot with his parents. Instead what we know as the DCU is the mad fever dreams of a dying little rich boy in an alley. Anytime that the DCU seems happier than usual or less chaotic it's simply the doctors attempting to bring him back to life. The darker periods (such as the nineties anti-hero phase or the various Crises)is poor little Bruce slipping away.

2. This one involves the Joker and his place in the DCU. Joker has never had a definitive origin. (Unless they gave him one recently of course. I haven't been able to follow the comics in quite a while) The simple reason for this is that he is not and never has been human. He is an avatar of insanity.

Think about it. With all the superbeings and alien invasion and cosmic upheaval in the DCU on a regular basis, the average man should be a raving lunatic. Instead whenever we see the "average man" he is at most a bit stressed (unless of course they are in the midst of some supervillain attack or similar disaster) Usually they seem pretty happy-go-lucky about everything.

Why is this?

Because some wizard (probably Merlin since he's been shown to exist in DC continuity) foresaw the coming "age of heroes" (to borrow a term from Marvel) and created a being who would absorb the madness that would be created and bleed it out slowly to keep civilization from collapsing.

It called itself The Joker.

That's why the easiest way to tell the general well-being of the DCU is to look at Joker. Is he a somewhat inneffective prankster? All is well. Is he a total psychopath murdering people at random on a daily basis? Something big is coming or has just happened.

Just want to reiterate that these are NOT my theories. Just ones I found that made a little bit too much sense to me.

My theory is about why Superman is good instead of bad. I've heard a lot of reasons, such as an attempt to fit in (most notably used by Mark Waid in the book Philosophy and Superheroes), but they're all wrong.

So, why does Superman always do the right thing? Why is he constantly on the side of law and order?

My theory is that to ask these questions at all is to miss what Superman is. Superman is a hero created at the end of the Great Depression, just before World War II, and as such is a hero who is a living symbol of hope. There is no "why?" in Superman's mind as pertains to saving people, merely a "how could I not?".

As opposed to more modern superheroes created in a world bitter with angst and suspicious of any and ever authority figure regardless of how virtuous or just (including ourselves), Superman comes from a world where morality is much more black and white, and helping people isn't seen as an option, but as a fact of life. If you see injustice, and you have the strength to stop it, you stop it. No questions asked.

@Josh

That's how I believe Superman thinks, but that the harsh realities of life in the DCU make it impossible for him to fulfill what is to him an obligation. He has to sleep, and even when he's foiling crimes, other crimes go unfoiled. Superman's morality, as you said, is such that he'd believe that he SHOULD be able to stop all this, despite his limitations. That would, at the least, leave him with a terrible inferiority complex or something of the sort.

"I'm no good... I'm not enough... I can't... stop.. it all..."

For all the people wondering how Supes knocked up Lois even though he's a) an alien and b) a god like being whose super sperm would kill Lois dead. Well for a) I don't really have an answer except for maybe Superman Red Son's explanation that Krypton was actually the future Earth. As for b) well you have to remember that Superman Returns is supposed to be Superman 3 which means that Supes knocked up Lois during his time as a de-powered pansy. Of course that brings up another problem which is that Supes had magic memory erasing kisses in 2 and used them on Lois to make her forget her night of non super powered love from Superman. Which means when her kid goes nuts and kills a guy by crushing them to death with a piano, which she seems remarkably calm about seeing as her 5 year old just murdered his first puny human, and she realizes he's Supes kid she should freak the hell out as she would have no memory of ever boning Superman.

Oh as for a crazy theory mine is that Hamlet is actually not just playing at being crazy, he really is crazy, and his father's ghost is just a madness induced vision that mocks him for his inaction. That's right I'm a Shakespeare nerd.

I believe that in Startrek every time they transported they essentially died each time. Their bodies would be copied stored in data form, then their bodies disintegrated and destroyed, then using the data new bodies would be created. So the Kirk, Spock, Picard, etc that we saw were only the copied versions not the originals.

PTru needs to read Timeline...

Finally, a contest I can enter!!

This comes from a conversation I had with a few friends on a message board several months ago, right before "Terminator: Salvation" came out.

==========

I'm only a casual fan of the Terminator series, having only just gotten into the series in the past few years (never really interested me before 2002, when I read the novel "T2: Infiltration," which introduced a Terminatrix before T3 a few years later; but I digress).

The more I read of the debate and thought about the films, the more I realized the franchise makes more sense if viewed backwards, starting with T4 (when it comes out), then working back to T1. I think it works as long as you ignore contradictions and time travel headaches and such and just view the film from one timeline: The Apocalyptic Future.

Timeline 0: Terminator 3
So, John Connor's this badass, a leader of the Human Resistance, hellbent on taking down Skynet so people can rebuild humanity. Skynet researches Connor and decides to send a Terminator back in time to kill him at his most vulnerable: when he's a high-school dropout and on the run from the police (for the time being, let's ignore the previous films and their storylines).

Skynet sends back a Terminator that's designed on the basest instinct of humanity: to fuck like rabbits. Thus, the Terminatrix goes back in time to seduce and kill a 20-something John Connor. Apocalyptic John gets wind of the plan and uses his resources and spies that infiltrated Skynet to reprogram a T-800 and send it back to stop the Terminatrix. The events of T3 go on as shown in the film, Arnie tells John of his destiny and John decides he'll stop being a whiny crazy puss and put a halt to the evils of Skynet, setting up his events for the future. Terminatrix and Arnie are taken out, events progress into another timeline where John has prior knowledge of Skynet's evil machinations. What happened to the original John Connor and Skynet, we don't know, because events ripple outwards and Timeline 0 is no longer acknowledged.

Timeline A: Terminator 2
In this timeline, the events of T3 have already happened, Connor has embraced his destiny and become Mr Badass Militant Survivor, and Skynet knows it failed with the Terminatrix. So, they decide to try again with killing John by sending back another Terminator they've been working on: the T-1000. Made of a liquid metal alloy, it's virtually indestructable and unstoppable. Only question is, when do they send it?

Answer: when John is a troubled 12-year old, stuck in a foster home. Again, ignoring the previous film, John has no knowledge of who he is or what he's capable of, and neither does Sarah Connor, who is just a whackjob gun nut locked in a psych institution for being an unfit and extremely overprotective mother. John's unhappy with his life, wishing he still lived with his mother, and as a result, he's nothing more than a petty thug, always on the run from truancy officers and cops.

Apocalyptic John's spies in Skynet get wind of the plan and John has them send back another reprogrammed T-800, armed with the knowledge of his heroics, destiny and humanity.

The events of T2 play out as they do in the film. The T-1000 assumes the role of a person who would be the most terrifying to a 12 year old John --a cop-- and tries to get close enough to kill him. But, he's deterred at every angle by Arnie, who plays hero to John. Eventually, Sarah escapes to get back to her son and resumes the role of gun-nut/overprotective mother. Eventually, it reaches the end where the virtually indestructible T-1000 is destroyed and Arnie destroys himself so as not to provide Skynet technology for anyone in the future.

John now knows about his future, as does Sarah, and where they go from there, it's unknown (the events of "The Sarah Connor Chronicles" follow this, but for now, let's ignore the series [I still have yet to see it, but it will fit in the timeline again later.

At this point, Timeline A ceases to exist and is replaced with Timeline B, where John knows all about the Terminators and Skynet from the age of 12. The events of T3 as shown in the movie occur, and we continue.

Timeline C: Terminator
At this point, Skynet is really pissed. It has failed to kill John Connor twice and now decides to kill him at his most vulnerable, with his own weapon. Skynet takes out John's spies at Skynet, but one survives long enough to inform John of the new plan to kill John...in Sarah Connor's womb. With no more access to the T-800s, John decides to send not himself, but his second-in-command, Kyle Reese, to protect his mother.

Now, the events of the first film play out as shown in the original film because the characters have no prior knowledge of anything about Skynet or Terminators or what have you. Everything progresses, Kyle winds up being John's pop, Sarah learns about the Terminators to give her the fear to become a nearly unstoppable gun nut for the second film, and the usual headache occur when trying to view everything from the standpoint of T1. So, we wind up with Timeline Z, which goes from the events of the first film to the second, to "Sarah Connor Chronicles," to T3, and then Salvation.

Where the many other novels and comics fit in, I have no idea.

My nerd theory pertains to Lost, specifically the character of Benjamin Linus and his childhood friend Annie, and why Ben would want to adopt Alex.

We see Annie in the Season 3 episode "The Man Behind the Curtain," we know she was friends with Ben as kids. We never see her again and don't know what happened to her.

We know that Ben is a cruel, unsympathetic person and yet, surprisingly, he wanted to save the baby Alex and raise her as his own. Why would he want to do something so seemingly contradictory to his character?

My theory is that when Ben and Annie grew up, Annie became pregnant and died due to the mysterious circumstances the Island has regarding pregnant women. Perhaps she was even the FIRST woman to die on the island because of this, which prevented her from getting off the island in time to save her life.

Denied the child he was supposed to have, Ben wanted to save and raise Alex.

This may also explain why Ben was so vehement against Alex being with her boyfriend Karl, since he would want to prevent her dying the same way Annie did.

I also think it's possible (though perhaps less likely now that Juliet herself went back in time) that the reason Ben was obsessed with Juliet was because she looked so much like his lost love Annie. To quote the Lostpedia In the Juliet flashback where she meets Harper, Juliet says that Ben is being very nice. Harper's reply is "Of course he is, you look just like her." I always thought that this "her" referred to Annie, although now it's possible "her" refers to Juliet herself when she was stuck in 1977 living with the Dharma Initiative.

@ Gareth/Coconut: your theory is perfect. Great minds think alike!

My nerd theory concerns Johan and Peewit, and the circumstances under which they initially cross paths with the Smurfs. They were not the carefree adventurers they appeared to be - but were in fact the paid catspaws of Gargamel! No I am kidding. It concerns how pathetically most of the Jedi went out, in Revenge of the Sith.

When a clutch of prominent Jedi Masters come to arrest Sidious, he cuts through them like a lightsaber through butter - all but Windu. It was pathetic to see how thin the Jedi bench is on talent when you get past the 'starting five' (Kenobi point guard, Yoda small forward, Skywalker shooting guard, Windu power forward, and for the sake of argument, Jinn at center) in terms of character prominence. It was as if a Jedi's skill is tied to action figure sales. As the Jedi fell, I was disgusted and thrown completely out of the movie (mentally). I spent a good portion of the rest of the movie trying to get back in by justifying this sad display.

I became happy with this explanation: 1. we know the Jedi had had no Sith to fight in a long, long time; 2. we know that individual Jedi are dependent to a greater or lesser degree on Force-assisted precognitive reflexes for their amazing skill with a lightsaber; 3. we know the Dark Side clouds what the Light Side can see. If this effect is controlled - which would be awfully helpful, if Palpatine wants to keep from being a constant head-scratching puzzle to Jedi nearby ("that guy makes me feel numb or something!") - then it becomes a powerful surprise attack, suddenly and severely dampening Force-assisted reflexes and leaving even Masters gasping and unprepared to compensate for this sudden numbing 'blindness.' Only Windu was able to hold his own, partly by being stronger in the Force then the others - but mostly by virtue of simply being a stronger, more skilled fighter.

Unfortunately, that explanation didn't last out the movie. When the remaining Jedi got mowed by clones, I had no way to explain that away.

But I shouldn't have had to! All it would have taken was to show us how the Clone Army - trained with Dark Side insights into Jedi fighting techniques - relied on heavily-drilled precision fire with rapid, simultaneous bursts in a choreographed spread vector pattern such that it would be impossible to block every blast with any alignment of one lightsaber, while covering a wide enough area to make a jump or dodge very hard to pull off.

That, plus the element of surprise and shock of betrayal, could have made a plausible sell. It wouldn't need a big backstory - just show the crazy logic of how it works in action - and show us how half the Jedi still manage to almost fight through/out of it!

R.e.s.p.e.c.t. Would have been nice to have been left with some.

My nerd theory has to do with Alkad's nerd theory. Jason Todd is not in fact a personification of Bruce Wayne's repressed happiness. Bruce is creating this alternative reality as a means to escape and deal with the harsh realities of his life. Jason Todd was bringing him down. He was stressing out Bruce, disobeying orders, throwing Batman's formulaic crime-fighting system out of balance. Therefore, Bruce Wayne's mind perceived Jason Todd as a threat. Todd might have "awakened" Bruce's mind to the delusion, so it killed him off. Yes, this threw Bruce into depression and guilt, but it kept the "game" going, as Batman now had to try harder to avenge Jason's death in his mind.

I love these contests, but I have the worlds worst long term memory, so it's hard for me to think of something good for them. I know I have about a hundred theories like A. Nonymous', but I just can't remember any off the top of my head(I have a good one based on S-CRY-ed and Evangelion, but I can't remember a single supporting argument, and there is no way in hell I am going to watch 30 hours of anime in a single weekend for this contest to refresh my mind). I do remember one particular theory someone else made that I totally believed:

http://www.game-ism.com/2008/04/04/still-alive-shes-free/
http://www.game-ism.com/2008/04/06/wherein-i-overanalyze-song-lyrics/

A basic summary is that the figure of GlaDOS, from Portal(of course), is in fact a depiction of a woman tied up, blind folded, and hung upside-down in bondage. Also, in the second link, he updates the theory by saying that her true objective all along was to force some one to hate her enough and be skillful enough to not only want to kill her, but to be able to defend themselves from her auto-defenses so that they can. The song is not her sarcastically bragging, but rather mourning her own failure, constantly repeating that she is still alive so that she can grip the terrible reality.

Of course, then it was reviled a short time later that she is, in fact, a depiction of 'Venus on a Half-shell' upside down, for some reason that made no real sense what so ever. The who thing left me feeling embarrassed that I augured for his view quite fervently on more than one occasion and also ashamed as it left me feeling like a total pervert who argued Pro-Forced-Bondage.

I later learned that the entire design team behind portal were a group of hipsters that were all huge fans of 'PANIC! at the Disco' and 'Dashboard Confessional', so that left me feeling even further ashamed for ever enjoying something such a group had a hand in.

@hmmm... maybe they just beam the poop out of their bodies. There's a sensor on their buttholes that activates when they're about to "turtle" which contacts a mini transporter somewhere on this ship which then transports the space-poop to a special chamber where it's disintegrated by phasers. And since matter is never truly lost just changed they would need to do something with the left-over matter. So that's where they get the material to synthesize new food! The ultimate in recycling! And I didn't even have to imagine a completely new technology for that theory. That stuff's already in the star trek universe.

Gareth and I rock, because we won't stand for timeline paradoxes in our sci-fi. Not now, not ever.

I vote for Starman's theory about Spider-man. It's an awesome idea. It's so good that I actually want to go and buy some marvel comics right now!

@BlindSquirrel

I happen to know for a fact that it's possible to "mate" with a chimp... if that's what you're into.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Ahhh, okay. I can't get past the Midichlorian thing.

My theory is that Lucas took so much shit from Christian nut-jobs in the '70s and '80s, who insisted that the Force was "Witchcraft," that he decided it would be smart (aka more profitable because he wanted their money also) if he came up with a more scientific approach to the idea.

That, and I suppose he had also considered it a possibility to make some kind of action figure based on the things. Seriously, am I the only one surprised that Hasbro never put out a "Bag of Midichlorians" toy? Or maybe just Sea-Monkeys in Jedi robes... or something?

The Matrix sequels are actually anti-virus responses produced by the Real Matrix in which we live.

++++++++++++++
++ SUMMARY +

The second two movies nullify the question of blue pill/red pill by suggesting to the target that "There is no pill."

+++++++++++++++++

Follow this rabbit hole:

1. What we know as the first Matrix movie was actually a virus introduced into the Real Matrix by those who had broken free (exampled in Morpheus, Trinity, etc.). The purpose of this virus was to awaken en masse those enslaved in the Real Matrix (i.e., the world in which we live).

2. Think of the second two Matrix movies as "patches" released by the Real Matrix. These patches, acting as retcon bombs, subdued the effects of the Matrix virus (the first movie) by associating with the virus and neutering its potential to cause problems. How?

3. The second two "movies" establish a line of fictional continuity. This patches each target (person in the Real Matrix) such that upon encountering the virus he or she would recognize it as a fiction/figment and ignore the "wake up" protocol.

4. Had no sequels been released, there would be no frame of reference for a target (i.e., no patch telling it "this is just fiction."), and the target would inherit the questions (i.e., receive the wake up protocol) introduced in the movie, thus "taking the red pill".

5. However, the sequels were released and provided the fictional context necessary to undermine the blue pill/red pill conundrum. Regarding the first movie as a work of fiction we can now (post-patch) agree that there is no pill.

6. "Real Matrix? What 'Real Matrix' ?"

My theory is that the 1960s movies' Dr. Who character can now be placed into the continuity of the current Doctor Who series, and it centres around the Meta-Crisis Doctor from the Journey's End episode (MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS).
The human Doctor, who gives himself the name of Dr. Who in the parallel universe, has at least one child with Rose, who goes on to produce two granddaughters (Barbara & Susan). He ages normally into old age and grows a moustache. As with the Donna-Doctor, this Dr. has to have his mind wiped, too, as the information in his mind is too dangerous for a mere human and would kill him (blah, blah, blah), so now no more memory of the Daleks. However, due to imperfect Time Lord mind-wipes (some, but not all, old memories leak through, as evidenced in the Family of Blood story) some knowledge of time travel is re-discovered. After a temporal experiment throws the Dr. & granddaughters into the 1960s of this parallel world he then goes about building a new TARDIS from subconscious memories. Any actions he duplicates from the Dalek stories can be written off to re-enacting subconscious memories.
You could even work in the niece of ‘Dr. Who’ from the 2nd movie, too. In Journeys End, Jackie Tyler mentioned that she had given birth to her 2nd child, Tony (who is “on the Nursery Run”); The future Tony has a daughter (or granddaughter) named Louise. As the Dr is now married to Rose, that makes him her niece!

Consciousness is time-travel. Evolutionarily, by any larger scope of natural history, we’ve just started doing it—or we, and most other animals, have been doing it in our dreaming, and it’s just now permeated man’s waking hours. So we’re not that good at it. When we remember, we go back in time. Our memories are not great. Some of us have photographic memories, others of us talents at art, music, mathematics, some facet of ourselves we keep remembering very well from our dreams, and while that’s still a step in the general direction of time-controlling, there’s always room for improvement. Robert frost once joked in a poem that some day man would evolve into jellyfish, floating brains without need of physicality and personal relationships. It may not ever get to that point, but we do improve, slowly. We can’t see the past beyond ourselves, see into other people’s pasts, because we’re also very egocentric. It’s been woven for many, many more years in our dreaming than our waking to stay alive, fend for our individual selves, survive at all cost, that, as dim as our recognition is of ourselves, it’s far dimmer of anyone else without it having something to do with us. That may also be why Frost’s vision of an advanced race of man was still a seemingly random, careless, and isolated creature; it was thru a largely egocentric vision.

Sometimes we peak. We have flashes of déjà vu. We get ahead of ourselves, very briefly see what’s ahead of us in all its literalness and just as soon forget, but the rest of the time we project the events of the future, the recognition of the past, thru the filters and lenses of our experiences and desires, and make for some very interesting, time-controlled stories.

Like this one?

The more powerful a Jedi is, the more midichlorians he has, but midichlorians don't cause the Force. No, they're actually parasites, genetically engineered by the Sith a very long time ago. They feed on active, light-side Jedi, reducing their power. They spread when two light Jedi in the area use the Force at the same time. If one of those Jedi is actually using the dark side, the midichlorians are poisoned and die off rapidly.

This actually makes ALL of the movies make more sense. Every time a dark Jedi and a light Jedi fight, the light Jedi is getting his butt kicked at the start - until his midichlorians all die from dark side exposure and he makes a comeback. It also explains why the Jedi didn't find the Sith millenia ago with a basic blood screening.

Think about it as the series progresses. The Jedi are massively infected, enough that they think that midichlorians are synonymous with force use. Anakin loses his arm, but instead of being less powerful because his body contains fewer midichlorians, his power more or less stays constant. He then loses just about the rest of his body, but is at least as powerful as he was before. No, it's the lack of midichlorians that's pumping him up.

At the end of the third movie, Obi-wan and Yoda have just had big fights with dark Jedi. They go into hiding and recoup. Obi-wan experienced far less dark side pummeling than Yoda did; his infection was reduced, but not destroyed. Yoda settled on Dagobah by that dark side-infused cave; in doing so, he inadvertently cured himself.

Cue Luke's adulthood and his encounter with Obi-wan. He picked up the infection through his training, but wasn't adversely affected because it only impacts a Jedi's connection with the Force. Afterwards, he went to train with Yoda.

He almost purged himself of midichlorians on Dagobah, and if he had, Empire Strikes Back would've ended very differently, as he'dve kicked Vader's ass. Instead, though, he accidentally infected Yoda during the training. Yoda's immune system recognized his repeat infection and managed to fight it off - until Luke returned in RotJ. He went into severe anaphylactic shock when, as he tried using the Force to bolster himself, Luke tried to sense what was wrong with him and dumped a massive dose of midichlorians straight into a hypersensitive system. That's right - Luke accidentally killed Yoda.

Leia was almost infected as well, but she wasn't actually using the Force until after Luke was on the Death Star - and when Luke got fried by the Emperor, that was enough dark side exposure to kill all of his remaining midichlorians. The species is extinct at the end of RotJ.

Wrong theory about Nip/Tuck
The Carver = Matt McNamara

Why? It was too f'n retarded for it to be Dr. Quentin Costa because that would've been way way way way way too obvious. Costa was who they wanted you to think it was. I still think the writers had SOMEBODY else in mind, but all the SMART fans knew Costa was the "throw you off the path" guy, the one for the marks, the idiots, to think was the killer. All over the internet, one thing was for sure, it wasn't Costa because it was too obvious and would just be lame.

Well, they "swerved" the smart fans by making it Costa (oh and his sister, whatever). Ugh, so yeah, turned out quite lame, although it was a great storyline up until the reveal. I didn't even care that it wasn't Matt, the son. That was the only one I could think of that made any sense, since Costa was too obvious. This time, the show jumped the shark worse than when Christian turned the woman into a human cat.

Lost theory - 4 8 15 16 23 42 - the numbers correspond to seat numbers on the Oceanic flight. There's more to the numbers than that, but that was one theory I had on the numbers, which hasn't officially been proven wrong, but really I don't see how that'd matter, except that when they returned to the island, they were all in the same seats.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (original) - why Freddy doesn't die. When Nancy turns her back on him and gives up her fear of him, she isn't the last one that knows about him, or has fear of him. Her dad absolutely knows Freddy is alive since he burst into the room and saw Freddy and the mom in flames in the bed. Freddy doesn't die when Nancy turns her back on him, but merely falls back into the dreamscape where he resides.

Another Freddy theory. First, the set up.

Okay, all the Freddy deaths in the Nightmare on Elm Street movies sucked except where they pull him out of his dream and kill him. That's been the only death that really made any sense whatsoever. Here's a quick rundown of Freddy deaths, the number represents the movie:
1. Nancy pulls Freddy out of her dream, then turns her back on Freddy, no longer fears him.
2. Lisa tells Jessie/Freddy (Jessie, the closet gay protagonist, is trapped inside Freddy, or Freddy inside him) that she loves him. Not kidding.
3. They bury Freddy's body on sacred ground...which is apparently a junk yard + holy water.
4. They recite a children's song/poem. Again, not kidding.
5. ??Freddy's ghost-nun mother pulls him back inside her womb. AGAIN, NOT KIDDING.
6. Freddy's daughter pull him out of his dream and shoves a pipe bomb in his chest. Best killing thus far.
7. [New Nightmare] Nancy/Heather shoves Freddy into a furnace, some sort of weird Hansel & Gretel reference.
Freddy vs. Jason - Pull Freddy out of dream, chop his head off.

Anyhow, this whole pull Freddy out of his dreams thing is something Freddy actually wants. They think they're tricking him, but he's actually tricking them. He wants to get back into the real world so he can terrorize more people. I haven't worked out why killing him in the real world doesn't keep him dead. I suspect cheat codes.

I think the classic video-game "Burgertime" is an analogy for the book of genesis and references to the bible. Side note Im not religious in any way.

hear me out...

1) -The earth is layers. Crust, mantel etc.

-A Burger is made of of many layers. Bun, cheese, lettuce.
Both are also round in shape.

2) -One day on earth is broken up into night and day.

-In burgertime, Peter Pepper is creating a "dinner"
type of meal typically ate at night. He is fighting against "breakfast type" enemies. (egg, sausage) Breakfast is served during the day. Day vs night, maybe even good vs evil?

3) -God is noted at times being merciful. One of the ten commandments is "Tho shall not kill"

-In Burgertime Peter Pepper cannot kill his enemies, only stun them.

4) -In the book of genesis, God "Created the world in seven days".

-In burgertime Peter Pepper is dressed as a chef. Chefs "create" meals. Peter Pepper may represent God himself.

....in closing. The game Burgertime is about a man, whos creating a layered sphere, who wont kill forces that represent an opposing view. Think about it.

Rob, I don't have a story. I just wanted to say that I think your ridiculous, geek theory is brilliant in so much that it made me laugh out loud in a household where I do my best to clam up and be so quiet the other occupants forget I'm here. Congratulations. I can't wait to see the winners for this.

Not mine but I love the theory that Ferris Bueller is actually a figment of Cameron's imagination in a Tyler Durden kind of way.

Fight Club Ferris

Mary Poppins is a with from Hogwarts school for witchcraft and wizardry. We all know that Hagrid was expelled and his shattered wand resides within his umbrella. But who the hell really believes that that oaf was able to think of such a strategic plan himself? He must have gotten help from someone. Mary Poppins' nature is to help, to be nice, to sprinkle pixie dust everywhere. So when she saw that this big hairy boy was going through she decided to give him one of her umbrellas and incorporated his wand into it.
Plus... She's British...
(Another similar theory involves Mary Poppins getting expelled for sharing the secrets of big bags with unlimited storage capacity to Barney...)

@everyone re:Force balance means all good.

HOw can balance be all of one thing, that is the definition of imbalance! Balance means an equal number of both sides (when there are two). (And I don't care what Lucas said, he obviously missed most of his science and logic courses.)

My theory is that you, Rob, have actually written every single story that's ever been presented to us for Fan Fiction Friday.

For years you've labored crafting these tributes to depravity, but were too ashamed of your interests in incest, water sports, tentacles, defecaction, furry fisting, etc., etc.. to even think of publishing them under a nom de plume. But then it hit you: What if I made a blog where seemingly the focus was overall nerdiness? But then, every Friday, I'll pick something from my treasure trove of twisted tales and post it under the guise of "Hey, check out these nuts on the internet, huh?" I'll make sure not to edit them to further cover my tracks...

In fact, I'll even name this site after the title of my very first piece of Fan Fiction based on a Transformers-Go-Bot Orgy...yeah, that's the ticket!

Finally, the piece de resistance was when you started a feud...with yourself.

There. That's my theory: Topless Robot is a front for Rob's Fan Fiction Fetish.

@Antwan: Hole in your Hamlet theory: two guards AND Horatio all see the ghost before the eponymous character.

@Nameless, I totally buy into your theory now. It's beautifully constructed, and just works.

Can we somehow combine the theory that Donna is actually a Timelady, notably a new regeneration of Romana? Seriously, what was up with that weird ring from "Journey's End"? People think it was like a Chameleon Arch, like 10th Doctor's watch from "Human Nature/Family of Blood".

Noah, Moses, Jesus, most all prophets for that matter, and George Lucas are Jedi! (and Hitler is a Sith).

I stand firm of this because the story of Star Wars did in fact occur long ago, in a galaxy far, far away. It's a FACT and the Bible is proof. You think of all the hundreds (thousands?) of Jedi running wild over the galaxy at that time, Anakin was the only one with a secret wife? Hell no. After seeing all the shit going down with the Council, a young Jedi, Adam, gets his knocked up secret wife, Eve, on an intersteller transport and hits the bricks. The nav-computer fucks up and they get sucked into a wormhole that leads them to this galaxy where they land on Earth. (This may be covered in the EU, I honestly don't know. I don't read them because the few I did read were crap.) Since Adam was a Jedi, his midichlorians pass from generation to generation. I'm not saying they populated the entire planet, their were obviously locals already here. That's why in Genesis when it mentions Cain's wife but never says where she came from, it's because she was a local. Anyway, notable Jedi include:

David: Getting that little teeny tiny rock right between the giant Goliaths eyes? Sounds alot like how the Deathstar went down.

Noah: God didn't tell him to build an ark. The Force precoged it.

Moses: Parting the Red Sea. I know what you're thinking, "I dunno, moving little shit sure, but the Red Sea?" To which I reply "Size matters not, mofo!"

Jesus: I need to explain this one? Really? Immaculate conception, Chosen One, restoring balance to the world, Force healing, Jedi mind-tricks (the water wasn't turned to wine, they just thought it was!)

As for George himself, while most Jedi can see what the future may hold, GL holds the rare gift of seeing what the past held. Sure it comes to him in dreams or through his "ideas for a movie", but there you go.

As for Hitler being a Sith, have you ever seen the videos of this guy talking? "Hey we should get rid of all these other races, man! They suck!" *waves his arm* "The world is shit right now! Let's blame the... uh,... um... Jewish! Yeah, that's the ticket!!" *more arm waving* That wasn't the Nazi salute, that was Sith mind tricking!! They were all weak minded due to their economic colapse after WWI and that's all it took for the Sith Lord to grab hold. Seriously, how else could and entire nation be convinced that genocide would solve everything? Humanity isn't that fucked, right? Right??

NOt my theory, so it doesn't count as a second entry.

Somebody at MIT was asked to come up with a reason for superman's powers. They came back with an interesting idea. Superman only has one power. The power to effect the mass of matter down to a atomic level.
Flight, he makes his body lighter than air.
Super strength, he increases the mass of his muscles
Heat vision, since vision is based on light (it does have a mass) he increases the mass of light there by generatinf heat.

I heard about this from @wired (I think)

@Gruntled: I think your wife has the better theory. I remember in one of the SW books, they were looking for the lost dreadnaught fleet that had been run entirely by clones (with the FTL drives all linked together so they could all jump at once) this happened at the end of the Old republic. The clones went crazy, because they had been making the same clones over and over.

Rocky Balboa was at the height of his career. He was the most famous person alive by 1985. If you had that kind of money, what would you buy? I'll tell you what: a robot. Of course you would get a robot... I'm saving up to buy one right now. Robot is the number one example of living the high life. Are you a millionaire? Do you have a robot? No? Go fuck yourself. Bill Gates has like eight.

If you were to get a robot, would you get one like that asshole Asimo? He's like 2 feet tall. He falls over and can't get up. That's like the worst anthropomorphic pet in the world. I would suggest a robot with tank tread. If you got tank tread, no need to worry about your robot not getting around. Plus, you gotsta go life-size. If you get a robot under 5-feet tall, you will break it at some point. How many Roombas are destroyed every year because someone trips over it or kicks it? At least 3. But these accidental robot deaths could be avoided if the Roomba was 5-feet tall.

And how do you want your robot to look? Do you want it to look like a human? Why would you get something creepy and non-descript like the Terminator or Data? What is the point of a robot if it doesn't look like a robot? You need to show this thing off to your friends and family. You need to bring chicks back to your crib and show that bot off. Easy lay. Rocky's robot looks like the 1958 Fly and Black Manta's baby. That is exactly how robot's should look.

When my robot enters a room, it sure as hell better bring a boombox blasting 80s experimental electronica. And it sure as hell better have fog machines on it and make beep-beep-beep noises. The number one quality sought after in a good robot is showmanship. Number two is functionality, just for the record. "Do you know how to make an Old Fashioned, robot?" is a question often heard at the robot store.

And everybody knows that Paulie took that robot programming course in community college before he dropped out to be a butcher. That's how come he knew hot reprogram it to have a female voice. It's also how he gave her artificial love. A.I. love is real, guys and this movie takes place in the real world. It's not like Star Wars. Speaking of, why would you even want to get a trashcan-looking thing like R2-D2? R2 is fine for getting drinks and picking locks...but can he love? Hells no. If you take out those Star Wars sound effects, that thing doesn't have any emotion at all. But the Rocky robot and Paulie got it going on. She gets him, he gets her. That's not stupid, that's magic. Let's not mince words here...this is an investment. There better be something to the human-robot relationship. R2 is a joke.

Bottom line, there is absolutely nothing retarded about having a robot in a Rocky movie. It makes complete sense. Nothing retarded at all. Nope. Sigh...goddamn you, Rocky IV.

Pac-Man is based on existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre's "No Exit" or, more accurately, the Twilight Zone episode remake "Five Characters In Search of An Exit." The title screen even introduces each character, as in a play. It's possible the game even represents an actual SEQUEL to the play: "What if the characters had walked though the open door at the end of the play, No Exit?" The answer is, they would be eaten by a masticating demon and returned to the small room again, ad infinitum.

Pac-Man is also the villain...the oppressor, not the oppressed. The ghosts--Inky, Blinky, Pinky and Clyde--are actually the good guys, caught in an endless tortured purgatory...re-birthed endlessly in a ghost nest for past sins. They're given JUST enough power to make them think they can defeat Pac-Man or even escape. But when they go though an exit it loops back to the other side of the maze, a concept borrowed later by the hit Sam Neill vehicle In The Mouth of Madness. The maze never varies. Never changes.

The eyes are the window to the soul: Pac-Man has no eyes. The ghosties, on the other hand, are the first in-game characters where the eyes are VITAL to the game. Their eyes telegraph where they are going, display utter fear and real emotion at every turn.

Pac-Man cannot be reasoned with. When the ghosts get to close because they just want to talk to him, he goes "NO-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA-WHOA!" and spins his head, disappearing immediately and re-appearing to hunt again, effectively avoiding the conversation. They have their own unique methods: the tenacious Blinky wants to talk to Pac-Man the worst, Inky tries to trick Pac-Man into talking by mirroring his movements, Clyde has no interest in talking at all, and Pinky is some woman.

Pac-Man represents the character The Valet from No Exit, who introduces each character into the maze (as shown on the title screen) and holds sway, but may be an unwilling participant himself. From Wikipedia: "It is never made clear in the play whether the Valet's job is his by choice, by birth, or as punishment."

I thought about all this for a long time before I discovered Pac-Man is based on a pizza Toru Iwatani ate. I also thought of this as a justification for my Pac-Man tattoo.

Does anyone remember Street Fighter Alpha 3? Of course you do! Well I've always liked a particular character in that franshise, and that is Rainbow Mika. Maybe it's because she's got hearts in hr boobs or meybe I like her flashy design. Well, Alpha 3 is her only apeareance.

Now, Alpha 3 was a prequel to Street Fighter 2, so I've always thought "Whatever happened to Rainbow Mika?" Not satisfied with "she's a crappy character", I devised a theory that Rainbow Mika NEVER Left. She supplanted Chun Li and took her identity. That's why Chun Li always wear Wrestling Boots after Alpha 3. She's even got the proportions down!

@Nameless, @Zidel333: There's so much wrong with that that it'd take me forever to even begin to narrow it down. Suffice to say: IDIOTS!

@Rob: Seeing as I won a T-Shirt already, my entry was just submitted for possible honorable mention status.

I think LazerWolf missed the point of the contest, but I'm goddamn glad he shared that.

@Chris Ward: I hadn't even noticed LazerWolf's name until your post there and now I'm thinking about Fiddler on the Roof, Rocky, and robot-love (and the Pac Man/No Exit Theory) and I think I'm gonna need to lie down until things start making sense again!

Haha...no, I got the point. Sorry...I wrote my theory in that style for comedic effect. That monologue was my nerd-way of justifying why Rocky would have a gay-ass, retardedly unrealistic robot, whose sole purpose is to carry a birthday cake...and partially kill a franchise.

You do realize that Patrick Swayze usurps Rocky as the most famous man in America, since he's only a bouncer in Road House and every one across the country knows who he is?

@ Baltimoron- late response, yes. but that is my theory. that in this instance it completely and utterly had do with that, instead of the 'actual' reason Fox sued them which was for copyright over Watchmen.

@ ecomeco

Interestingly enough, that's more or less a plot point in the original (much darker) Sailormoon manga. Usagi, by that time known as Neo Queen Serenity of Crystal Tokyo, purifies the population of evil. Those who refuse to be purified are exiled to the tenth planet, Nemesis, which doesn't seem to be as unpleasant as it sounds. It's like an outer space Australia. Generations later, manipulated by an evil entity known as Wiseman, the descendents of those exiles return to Earth, to get revenge for their ancestors being exiled from paradise. They literally commit genocide on the Crystal Tokyo. When the Sailor Senshi arrive in the future, the streets are piled high with decomposing corpses.

It's been a few years since I read it, but I'm certain the leader of the terrorists, Black Moon, brings up the point that Serenity's "purification" is actually a form of mind control. It's a shame some of this didn't get into the anime... but then, they had different audiences.

(I realise this isn't the place for Sailormoon discussion, but I've been a fan for years, and most SM fans are just squeeing teenage girls who like the sparkly costumes. Hard to wrangle a decent conversation out of them. I'll stop now.)

Oh, by the way, my vote for the winner: Chris Ward. That shit's just too awesome!

@The Man With Two Brains... I wish that was how The Matrix Trilogy turned out.

@StrangeLad... Your SW theories are wise, and would have been excellent touches to the prequels.

1.There was a second gunman in Texas.

2.Han has always shot first.

@Staxxvolt: I seriously hope you're implying that Han shot JFK. Because all that "magic bullet" stuff being explained by blasters not using bullets? That's frikkin' AWESOME.

@ Thatcher: George Lucas might be a Jedi, but he succumbed to the dark side long ago...

Deckard is Han, escaped to a underdeveloped(in SW terms) planet, not aware of the Empire or other extraterrestrial happenings outside a few neighboring planets, and therefore unknowing of Han or his actions.

@Hmmm...: A point I will conciede, a true Jedi would never rape Indy in the jungles of Peru

Jango Fett's death: It was a CLONE. Not the REAL Jango Fett. No true Mandalorian badass lets himself get done in like that. No way. Rookie mistake. It was a clone, people. Jango's still out there.

Jango Fett's death: It was a CLONE. Not the REAL Jango Fett. No true Mandalorian badass lets himself get done in like that. No way. Rookie mistake. It was a clone, people. Jango's still out there.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is an extended dream sequence as the lead child charactrs slip from life into death, much in the same vein as the Occurence at Owl Creek Bridge.

Very early in the movie, the children, Jeremy and Jemima, are nearly struck by a car driven by Truly Scrumptious, or so we are led to believe. I am certain that the children actually were struck by that car and killed, but before falling into death’s cold embrace, their addled minds produced a rich fantasy. A similar story structure can be found in 2001’s Waking Life. Wakig Life has its main protagonist wandering through a series of events and experiences in what appears to be a lucid dreaming state, with little regard for making clear what may be real or not. Similarly, an extended fantasy sequence occurs beginning halfway through Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. This sequence apparently has real-world implications; it is not until 15 minutes before the end of the film that we are certain those events did not happen.

This is also supported by the way Time loops and whorls in on itself as various events and motifs are constantly repeated. This is indicative of the human mind seeking out patterns in an attempt to make sense of what is happening. Specifically, the motif of nearly being hit by a car or an accident involving Truly’s car happens at least three times after the initial impact. The young children are revisting that final moment, as if to glean greater meaning from it, or to remind themselves that they are, in fact, dead.

All adult characters act in a persistently childish manner; a Baron enjoys his large toys, Grandfather and Lord Scrumptious are caught playing an intrictae game of toy soldiers. This further evidences that everything is a complete creation of a child’s mind applying their logic and actions to the world.

It may be noted that, yes, there are two children, so how can there be only one extended death sequence? Well, there is the popular, though as of yet unsubstantiated theory, that twins can share a telepathic link. The same aged, both blonde-haired boy and girl are almost certainly twins. And throughout the movie they make various spontaneous exclamations at the exact same time with the exact same wording, suggesting some kind of group mind.

And finally, and perhaps most daming of all, is the role that Truly Scrumptious takes on as the Three-in-One, or Mother-Maiden-Crone, the Jungian Triple Goddess. As the Bringer of Death by Motorcar, the children attach meaning to her and seek her out as a Mother Figure. For much of the film she wears all white, signifying maidenhood; the children then proclaim their fondness for Truly and their wish that she become their mother. Truly then begins wearing pink, signifying that she is no longer pure for having known man, fulfilling her role as the Mother.

In the end, the car, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, which has become a familar representing the children, levitates into the air and flies off towards the heavens. The children have finally accepted their reality and move on to what dreams may come.

"Bruce Wayne isn't Batman. Seeing his parents killed drove him insane, and he grew up in Arkham Asylum. The "Batman" persona is an alter ego he developed as his psychosis progressed. Why are the majority of his notable villains insane? Why does everything cycle through escape->recapture->escape endlessly, all coming back to the asylum? Because his villains are the other patients. They never die, even when they ought to, because he's not really fighting them. Bane, the one that managed to break "Batman's" spine, was an abusive guard who really did injure Bruce before being fired.

The Joker is important because he's another personality that developed as a result of Bruce/Batman needing an outlet for levity. Bruce's main personality, sworn to combat villainy after his parents died, cannot let his guard slip, can never break out and be happy, but the Joker can - with the Joker, he can be happy as much as he wants. This personality is genuinely likable and funny, inspiring merriment in those around him, but Bruce finds this intolerable, thus why he ascribes it to the results of "Joker-gas," forcing people to be happy even though they aren't, and reinforcing Bruce's belief that letting himself slip and be happy again would lead to death, as it does for those the Joker makes appear to be laughing.

His fascination with kid sidekicks? Obvious imaginary friends, created to help him recapture his lost youth. Robin in the guise of "Jason Todd" was too close to bringing Bruce something approaching real joy, so he had to be killed, and by the one personifying the dangers of happiness.

As for "Batman" finally using a gun to kill Darkseid, he never had a code against using firearms. He invented that idea in his last moments alive as his heroic backstory to his actions. What really happened was that an officer had come to the asylum to deal with another patient, but wasn't careful enough around everyone. Bruce managed to grab his gun, and shoot "Darkseid" (in reality, the warden who had been, in Bruce's mind, the ultimate evil in his tiny, enclosed universe, all these decades), and while successful, was immediately taken down but other asylum staff. His current state of being affected by the "Omega Sanction" is the staff, mostly in retribution, drugging him into catatonia, and his inevitable coming back to life (It's comics, he'll come back sooner or later!) will happen when the over treatment gets noticed and scaled back."

This needs to be turned into a graphic novel ASAP.

Final Fantasy 7 was not the first RPG I ever played but it's the only one that REALLY got to me. The plot was awesome, the graphics and the ost were amasing and the graphics was also really well done... But that's not the reason I loved the game so much. What got me hooked on Squaresoft games was the increadible love triange in that game; The love triange between Sephi, Cloud and Zak.
I know that most poeople think this game is about a messed up emo guy who is conflicted about his arch nemesis and has to choose between two hot chicks, but not in my world XD
I knew from the first scene in Nibelheim that the one Cloud truly loved was Sephiroth and that Aerith/s was only a distraction, something cloud kept near him because he wanted a diverson from the man who broke his heart.
As the game progressed I kept looking into more and more subtle hits about Clouds sexuality. The date in which he completly blows off Aerith/s; The flashback scene where he me his mom and when she said "You'v grown so handsom, you probably beat the girls off you with a stick" and he answers "not really...", I mean come on... the reason he dosn't beat them off him is because he likes men! RIGHT?!
When the gmae progressed to the plot twists with Zak and you see what really happend in Nibelheim (SPOILER ALERT) I knew that there was more to the story than a simple broken heart... Zak and Sephi were the real lovers, and Cloud was a closeted and repressed gay who stalked them, envying them, but when Sephi betrayed Zak, Cloud went berserk and assaulted him, while his over-identification with Zak made him internalise Zak's identity into him and think of himself as the one who was inlove with Sephi, the one who was betrayed by him.
I can't even write this without giggling XD I was such a retard...
Andyhow, when I played the game a second time, with a walkthrough I realised that you can access the mass shower scene, where Cloud gets into a sauna with LOTS of other men, feels awekrewd and leaves, and you can date Barret instead of Aerith/s AND you can see more scenes about him and Zak where Zak tells him the story of his love affair with Sephi... Then I was sure that the Cloud was gay. That was the moment when the inner fan-girl in me was born.
I argued this with a straight friend, who knew about me being gay, and he reminded me of a few scenes to contradict my theory... But I would not budge, I wanted hot steaming yaoi and in my mind, that game was full of it =^.^=

@The Man With Two Brains: Dude, lighten up don't take this so seriously.

...I can't even begin to touch most of this stuff. I'm sure I've had my fair share of nerd theories, but I don't think any would stack up.

I had this theory that The Immortal Emperor (who we all revere) foresaw the Horus Heresy. Considering it happens right after he gives up command it only makes sense. Plus he is the human race's most powerful psycher so if anyone could foresee it then he could.

I figured after he got all the Primarchs back he saw all their personalities, did the calculations, and boom realized that the Empire was royally screwed. He then used all his psychic awesomeness to figure out the way to do the least damage and then put his plan into motion. Sure "In the grim darkness of the future there is only war" but heck it could be worse.

Unfortunately the book Legion kind of put the kibosh on that idea.

A personal favourite of mine:

Alex DeLarge, the protagonist of A Clockwork Orange, grows up to be V in V for Vendetta.

By the time Alex is an adult, Norsefire has arisen, replacing the British government of Alex's youth (the 1970's, as imagined from 1962). Alex develops a political conscience. After being sent to the Larkhill Resettlement Camp by the Party, Alex's old files from the Staja are discovered, and he is subjected to Delia Surridge's experiments. After Larkhill, Alex dons a Guy Fawkes mask and becomes the professional anarchist with his reservoir of horrorshow ultraviolence. Again, extremely violent, with a penchant for sophisticated tastes in music and culture. He loses the nadsat, but compensates by taking up the mannerisms of a literature professor while fighting corruption.

@The Man With Two Brains

I don't take being called an idiot lightly. Please apologize. What I choose to believe regarding Dr Who is my own damn business.

I know that this a fairly widespread theory now and that this interview (http://drownedinsound.com/in_depth/4136979-disection--grizzly-bear-veckatimest-track-by-track) specifically rebuts it, but I was one of the first to contend that "Dory" from Grizzly Bear's album "Vecktimest" is about Finding Nemo and I remain steadfast in my beliefs.

"We'll swim around like two dories/Set loose in the bay" is clearly a discussion between Marlin and Nemo about taking a fun outing to go swim around wildly. "Like she’s nothing/And the water is all" is a reference to Dory's lack of intelligence. And the "I can’t be here all hours/Oh such a riot/I can’t discern this trouble/Oh what a riot/I can’t be here all hours/Oh such a riot/I can’t describe…" section depicts the confusion that Marlin experiences as he searches for Nemo.

(I also have a theory that "Black Mirror" by The Arcade Fire is about a childhood game of JINX gone horribly wrong. "The name is never spoken/The curse is never broken"...)

@Zidell333: No. You may believe whatever you please, but do five minutes of research and you'll see how utterly stupid and impossible that theory is. There is absolutely ZERO way that could be the case.

Also, calm the fuck down, comparitively speaking, and using the colloquial rather than the dictionary definition, "idiot" really isn't that bad of an insult. Reacting so strongly will only open you up to people calling you much worse. I am speaking from experience on this as I was heavily picked on throughout school. So, I must repeat myself: calm down and get over it.

I think we're about to get another entry for best geek arguement.

Nothing says "nerd" like two grown men fighting it off like little children in the school yard.

If you can't play nice go play elsewhere.

A coworker of mine barged into my cube one day demanding an answer as to how Anakin managed to age so much in the 10 years between Episode 1 and 2, while Padme didn't at all. I had an answer, and it's Naboo's dirty little secret: Gungan milk.

The Naboo are able to live long, youthful lives because they nurse from Gungan females. Gungan wet nurses care for the infant Naboo, and there's something in that milk that greatly increases their lifespans and slows the aging process. Sound crazy? Well, there's some circumstantial evidence in both Episode 1 and the Clone Wars cartoon to support this.

When Obi Wan is appealing to Boss Nass to help them, he mentions that the Gungans and Naboo form a symbiotic circle. Huh? What had we seen in the movie to suggest that? Obi Wan is referring, of course, to the nursing. The Jedi know, of course.

In episode 17 of the Clone Wars cartoon, "Blue Shadow Virus," a young female Gungan comes to the aid of Padme and crew. Her reward? The honor of being sent to Theed. Though not stated, obviously to the Gungan it's an honor to be taken from the swamps, brought to the palaces of Theed and made to be a wet nurse.

It might sound crazy, and it might sound gross, but you can't disprove it.

When I was a kid, the first time I watched "A Nightmare Before Christmas", I misheard a portion of the lyrics in "This is Halloween".

What I HEARD was, "In this town, we call home, everyone hails from the Pumpkin Zone!"

I was like, "WTF is the Pumpkin Zone?"

Then, later in the movie, when Jack is singing is lament, he goes strolling around a pumpkin patch. I thought to myself, "Is THAT the Pumpkin Zone?" Then when he's singing, he causes a bunch of ghosts to coming screaming out of the jack-o-lanterns' mouths.

So I rationalized it all in my noggin.

That was indeed the Pumpkin Zone and the various monsters who live in Halloween Town were born from those pumpkins like veritable Cabbage Patch Kids. They started out as ghosts/souls inside the pumpkins until they were fully formed as monsters and were spat out of the jack-o-lantern mouths, no doubt drenched in pumpkiny afterbirth.

I believed this to be a fact implied quite obviously by Danny Elfman's lyrics, Tim Burton's story and Henry Selick's direction for most of my life.

Then I watched the movie again and realized they were saying "In this town, we call home, everyone hails to the Pumpkin Song!".

And all I could think was "Fuck, I'm stupid".

This one, I cannot take credit for, but it is by far the best theory I have ever head, as I believe it too:

"Did one ever know the reason why the pacing and story development change after Ash was hit by lightning in the beginning episodes? How Ash and his world were relatively normal until after the incident? I have a theory. The accident with the bike put Ash in a coma. Days later he was found and was hurried to the hospital and treated with heavy medications. This is why Team Rocket became less menacing. The medication took effect and stabilized his coma dreams, instead of being terrifying, they became idyllic, and he's able to live out his Pokémon master fantasies.

If one had noticed, the early episodes of Pokémon were of amazing quality. The rest of the series is just the results of his subconscious mind fulfilling his desires, as well as attempting to escape them. Should Ash realize he's in a coma, he would wake up, but suffer brain damage. So he has to take down all his mental barriers one by one until he can come to grips with what he is and escape his coma.

This explains why he doesn't change much physically. Also, the worldwide socialism can be explained if you once again realize that this is a dream world; he thought up a safe system of government that would run smoothly and keeps the world going allowing his adventures to work like they do. It also explains a few other things, such as how a child can go off on his own in a world full of dangerous untamed animals, and why every Pokémon center has the same exact nurse. Joy and Jenny he knew from his hometown, and they act as a safety net or anchor, allowing him to feel safe no matter where he goes. The professors, like the Joy's and Jenny's represent stability, and ash's ideals. This is why Gary became a professor. It's also the reason that every time he enters a new region, virtually no one has heard of him, despite his conquests, and why Giovanni leads Team Rocket. How could Paul, the rival of the Sinnoh area, not know of someone who has placed in at least the top 16 of all three leagues and has destroyed the Orange league and Battle Frontier?

Ash’s travelling partners are actually aspects of himself he can enjoy, but doesn't like to associate with himself. Team Rocket are his qualities that he deems "negative", but is coming to terms with. Jesse and James want to appease Giovanni, Ash's Father. Meowth especially wants to appease him because he remembers the good times with Giovanni. This Places meowth in a category known as ash's (corrupted) innocence, and another fragment of ash's humanity. If you note that meowth can speak this quickly becomes apparrent. In fact the whole reason for meowth's speech is so he can help Ash accept Team rocket as part of himself eventually.

Brock is Ash's repressed sexuality. He fell into the coma a virgin and needed an outlet for his growing sexual frustrations. Since he can never experience sex, Brock must never succeed. Brock is a projection of his sexuality, and is constantly shot down because Ash could never “know” sex. Brock isn't just Ash's latent sexuality, he's also his fatherly instincts, neither of which Ash can come to terms with. Brock leaves his siblings to "journey" with Ash. because Ash can't cope with having that much responsibility, much as his foray with a real relationship ends on mysterious terms. Ash just cannot handle commitment at his mental level. Brock's Stay with professor Ivy was an.attempt to outright suppress his sexuality. You'll notice that James got much more dialogue in this part of the series, as well as getting more touchy feel-y with his pokemon and getting most of his backstory. Ash didn't enjoy this much, hence the reasons Brock comes back all horrified, and refuses to speak about it. (ash's subconscious was repressing him at the time, so other than a general feeling of dread he has no idea of what went on then.) This is also why brock keeps coming back to the series....Usually AFTER Ash meets a new girl aspect of himself.Misty is an image that Ash had of a girl. This is why she plays so prevalently in the series but is ultimately unattainable because he never really knew her before the coma. Likely the one that helped get him to a hospital. I have a theory in line with this: Since Misty was his initial love interest (if only subconsciously), he needed her to reach a level of womanhood. He felt that people could only have relationships when they've matured. But in practice, it turned out he couldn't cope with it and just wanted the normal, pushy, arrogant Misty he knew, and wouldn't let her keep Togepi anymore.

Misty is Ash's first attempt at a girl he could love, however, being a girl from the real world, all he really he knew of her was her anger, as a result she ended up quite hot headed in his mind. Constantly berating his sexuality, but eventually mellowing out until she had faded into the background. This was also traumatizing to him, being attached to it. Since then, the thought of anyone around him maturing to adulthood has been blocked, and anyone who shows signs of it will quickly end up leaving for another, more naive fill-in.

Max came with May, she played the Id with great aspirations, and he played the sensible Ego that "Session". They worked for a little while but Ash, being a teenager, eventually had his sexuality had to come back into play. He kept reinventing himself and eventually wrote new aspects, but his mind slowly brought back the old ones as a crutch to make the transition easier.

Dawn is Ash giving himself a chance to love. since he already established Misty as someone he's not likely to go anywhere with, he created a new super female, one that was more like him, and less violent all the time. (One will note that both May and Misty had no tolerance for Brock whatsoever whereas dawn seems to try and shrug it off.) .

Tracey, The Breeder was a possible future for Ash that he discarded. It was one that he sent off to work with the Professor (the professors being Ash's ultimate ideal of a father figure) when he disrupted the dynamic Ash had with his other possibilities. Ash's mind is fighting the coma and since Ash viewed this one as a companion he was quickly replaced with a more threatening Rival.

Pikachu obviously represents Ash's Humanity, hence the episodes where they get separated, and ash wants desperately to find him, even to the point of working with the rockets ( aspects of himself he woould never normally associate with) but for some reason cannot. They want to steal Pikachu (Ash’s humanity) and hand it over to his father, Giovanni. Jesse and James will always oppose ash because ash is terrified of the thought of his humanity lying in the hands of his father. However this is the same reason that he will work with those aspects of himself in order to save his humanity from just becoming flat out LOST. He couldn't evolve his Pikachu without challenging his concept of who he was, something he wasn't comfortable with while he was still working through his original issues.

Another thing is the narrator. The narrator is Ash's higher mind, recapping and explaining the progress he's made and the tribulations he will face allowing itself insight into how best to awaken him.

Ash has issues With his Father; so he put him atop the evil corporation, and demonized him. There may be an actual team rocket, and I'm positive they're quite dastardly, but I doubt that ash's father is their leader, in fact the head of the rockets wasn't really identified as anyone until later on in the series. The split between ash's parents was likely over ash's homosexuality and some sort of incident as a catalyst, forcing his father to disown him and his mother to move out of the city and down to pallet town. This is why Giovanni runs the faceless Vile corporation, and Why he Berates Jesse, James, and Meowth as much as he does, and why they keep trying to please him. Another thing to notice is the difference in uniform, The rockets Wear Black and Red, where Team Rocket wears White....a symbol of their purity and naievete. They're willing to please father despite his utter hatred of those parts of Ash .

Team rocket are aspects of Ash's personality that he has deemed "bad" James implied homosexuality, and Jesse’s vanity. You'll remember that Meowth has the potential for rehabilitation, and doesn't want to be evil, so yet again this fits in with the conflicting personalities and demonized self theory. Team rocket started cross-dressing because ash had to come to terms with that part of himself. It was something he was able to allow his gay/vain side to experiment with (and by virtue of that himself) When he found that it wasn't something for him, his "Free" side stopped playing with it. Further, their methods of capture become more and more ludicrous (and physically impossible) because Ash is just a kid dreaming these things up. This is the reason Team Rocket's disguises are always believed. He knows it's them (on some level), but chooses to ignore it, so he can better himself, in a sense the Ash who wants to escape is sabotaging the ash who wants to stay lost in his mind. So that there can be more conflict, and hopefully an eventual escape. The filler episodes that don't focus on Ash and the gang are his mind working through, and humanizing the parts of himself that he demonized. It's a way for him to deal with issues that Ash and crew wouldn't touch, because it involves treading ground he himself had sworn not to go near. As I said, Team Rocket and the episodes they occupy are Ash dealing with ground he feels uncomfortable with tackling on his own. Jessie is Ash's vanity and gullibility, she will trick Ash's submissive homosexuality into doing her bidding so she can please father. James' troubled childhood is his way of justifying his latent homosexuality. Now James is Ash's latent homosexuality, hence why he is constantly punished by Pokémon and attacked by random attractive girls. I believe the split between Ash's parents was caused by this part of Ash, maybe an incident at school, bringing shame on the family and forcing them to move to the small, country town of Pallet. Ash's motivations for his journey were to escape mounting pressure at home.

So in a way, Ash IS Team Rocket. The rest of the whole organization Including Butch and Cassidy is symbolic of his inability to escape his father's machinations.

Mr. Mime is actually a stand in for Ash's father, one that can't emotionally abuse him or his mom. He is a Pokémon, a peace loving creature that's oddly humanoid, but that can never hurt a human. Ash's was never really hurt by a Pokémon, so he sees them all as harmless; whereas, in the real world they may be quite feral or vicious (as seen in the early episodes). Again falling back to the theory that the only real Pokémon are the ones from the first season, and everything else is just further speculation coming from his mind on what new species would look like.

The new teams ( magma, aqua, and galactic) are Ash attempting to work out the problems he has with his father. to do that he first needs a new "bad guy" to feel good about beating, and if Giovanni isn't leading a criminal organization he can more easily relate to him.

If one recalls, there were real animals early in the show and references to animals in the game and show. For example, a clear case to point out is the aquarium of fish in the Cerulean City Gym or that by the Pokédex that Pikachu is a “rat-like” Pokémon. But they don't matter to Ash's psyche so they don't come into play much. If Ash had loved puppies, everything would be about different breeds of dogs, and a dog fighting circuit. But, as the series goes on longer, we've been seeing less realistic animals and more Pokémon. This could be a sign of Ash’s mind deteriorating. As he's in this coma, he's losing concepts of some animals and machinery and replacing them with Pokémon. It could explain things like electric Pokémon working as power generators. A sign that his memory of the old world is slipping more and more as time goes by. The Pokémon realm will be idealized continuously the longer he has no stimulus from the real world. He may or may not be mentally deteriorating , but he is becoming more accustomed to his fake world's rules. The wild Pokémon are his rationalizations of the functioning of the world. It’s the "A wizard did it" Syndrome. If he doesn't know how it works, his mind says Pokémon. He justifies anything he can't explain with Pokémon, and real animals fall into the background because he has no real interest in them.

The Pokémon in Ash's team are his issues, for example Charmander represents his sex drive (not his sexuality like Brock) at first it's a cute easy to control thing, but eventually becomes a raging inferno of disobedience. Acquiring his team means getting at his issues, but as he trains them, he works said issues out. Other trainers are more direct forms of his issues, ones that he must either come to terms with or outright supress. Gym leaders are more primary aspects of his personality with each Pokémon being stronger than the last, to display a level of skill he could be capable of if only he gave into it. In effect, he is doing battle with a part of him that he would rather not have in control. Bulbasaur was Ash's unwillingness to change, this is reflectedwhen it declines to evolve and how it almost decided to stay behind unless he battled it. Squirtle was his willingness to follow the lead of others, as evidenced by the gang it ran with, even though he ran the gang, they were viewed as one group, and ash's subconscious just gave him the strongest one. Butterfree was his crushing loneliness, which he dealt with when he released it to join a flock. His bird types are his recklessness, always willing to sacrifice something at a moment's notice for the win. When Ash is trading Pokémon, it's an attempt to push his own problems away on someone else; however, he realizes this and usually trades back fairly quickly. Originally ash had the battles, which evolved into team battles and contests. The explanation for this is that his issues became more and more complicated, and the means of dealing with them needed to become more complex. the fact that he uses issues that he has already dominated to win these are signs that he's growing stronger.

Not only are Ash’s Pokémon are a manifestation of different parts of himself, so are Pokémon of other trainers as well. Koffing and Ekans were symbolic of Team Rocket's willingness to change; hence, their evolutions. Once his mind beat that roadblock down and allowed them to change once, it gives him the chance to truly change. Pupitar is a rationalization, a Pokémon that a rival caught before he met him. Even Ash would become suspicious if everyone he met had no carry-over from pervious places he had been to.

Ash releases his Pokémon because his mind is forcing him to let go of them. The second he raises an overpowered team, a tournament comes up, and after fighting his way through it he has to go to a new land for new challenges, but with an overpowered team, there won't be any challenges, and no way to motivate him further, part of Ash wants to stay in the coma, and keep journeying.

Ash's travelling also never really nets him any fame, no matter what he does, or where he goes, and the answer for that is simple. Ash just can't picture himself as famous, so he essentially adopts a new identity every few months.

The reason he never truly becomes a master is because that would mean he'd have nothing left to dream, and would wake up from his coma. Ash’s dual personality is one that wants to maintain his fantasy world and slowly sort his thoughts out carefully. The other part wants freedom, and to return to his real life, to finally become a real Pokémon master. However if he's allowed to keep his powerful team there's no reason to meet and tame new Pokémon(Issues), he'll lose interest, and the chance of becoming self-aware comes around again. So it's not that he gives them up, it's that he loses them, and unless he's desperate (such as with Charizard) he can't get them back. It’s basically his mind forcing him to deal with his issues. It would also be a good reason why Paul has shown up at this point, and Ash has been forced to work with him on at least one occasion: It's his mind's last ditch efforts to snap him out of this, to force Ash to actually come to terms that this perfect world is not the best option and he needs to wake up. Paul is Ash's dark side, one that wants to push on even harder and harder, and the part of him that will stop at nothing to escape this coma world.

Ash’s rivals and the Elite four are ultimately the strongest part of this cycle. Having Pokémon that are essentially godlike, they represent both what can be attained and what is unattainable. Gary Oak is what Ash wants to be. He is wish fulfillment. He succeeded, and settled down to a normal life. Ash needs someone to succeed in his world or he won't be able to validate it and will start questioning why he's where he is. It’s a subconscious trap to keep him from becoming too aware of his situation. His mind must have figured out that awareness of the coma would snap him out of it, but it would cause major brain damage, so it took something the boy already loved and built a way out for him with it. However Ash is too complacent to finally fight his way out of it, and cannot escape. This is why he keeps encountering Legendary Pokémon, they're his mind's way of showing him he can do great things if he tries, and it's a way to encourage him to push forwards. The Legendary Pokémon are Ash's mind telling him that he has greatness in him and thus, can escape his happy–go–lucky reality.

Ash's Rivals are all possible futures he envisions for himself (note that they are all older than him). This originated with Gary Oak, someone Ash knew from real life, and built up into a sort of god within his mind. Gary however progressed and changed to suit Ash's vision of himself and ultimate desire, eventually settling down into a professor after beating the Elite Four. With Gary in retirement his mind needed a new rival for him Thus the births of Richie (the Good aspect of his rivalry) and Paul (as the darker aspect, a cut-throat Ash, willing to do anything to escape the coma world).

Richie and his Pikachu were another success story for Ash, but he wanted one he could be closer with. One nearly identical to him. One that even used a similar roster to him. Paul and his Chimchar are the polar opposite of Richie, Paul wants nothing to do with any kind of weakness, and is almost aware of his situation. He's always pushing for something more.

The reason he discarded his original hat and the elements of japanese culture so prevalent in the first season is simple. He wanted to travel and broaden his horizons, every time he reinvented himself to do so; he lost touch with his original self. If he ever does escape the coma he'll likely have achieved a sort of Zen state. Considering the amount of personal issues he deals with inside his head, it's entirely likely that he was the next Buddha of the Pokémon world, and that the lightning strike and subsequent coma are a way for him to realize his true self, and destiny.

Mewtwo was a new form of treatment, done with electric impulses and a machine to knock Ash out of it, taking down every last one of his mental guards (the original Pokémon in the movie). In Ash's mind, Mewtwo and his clones were the treatment for the mental safe guards that were protecting Ash and keeping him comatose; the Pokémon of his world. The clones were counters to Ash's mental safeties, and so each appeared to Ash as the exact copy of his defense, intended to take it down by Force. The clones didn't play by the rules of Ash's world, they didn't use any special Pokémon attacks or moves – they just beat down their counterpart by brute strength. The treatment was working, but there were side effects. The electric jolts were beginning to affect Ash's nervous system, and if the treatment continued, he would be paralyzed. His mind realized this and manifested it to Ash by petrifying him in his dream. Were it not for the end of the treatment by Ash's mother (knowing her son would never want to live in a world he couldn’t explore) Ash would have remained as stone in his dream. After this, Ash needed to recover from the damage of the electric therapy. Obviously it was greatly dangerous to him, and in order to reduce the danger Ash's consciousness felt from it, Ash's subconscious began downplaying the effects of electricity in Ash's world, which is why Pikachu’s electric attacks -once noted for their strength by Team Rocket – no longer have any effect on Ash, other than comic relief.

Even the world Ash lives in evidences this. The sprawling forests and eco friendly cities are all his childish innocence. He never travels on a bike despite the distance due to the accident having given him a phobia of them.

As one could see, it is very likely that Ash is trapped in his world. But like every dream, everything, there is a beginning and an end. What would happen if Ash could fully recover? What would happen if he never does? There are infinite branches of possibilities that spiral upwards and intertwine towards the top at a single point, both in his “world” and the real world. In his hospital room, we see Delia, obviously distraught talking to a doctor with a grim look in his eye. He's saying that their insurance is up, and the boy has had no change in brain activity for seven years. That a shock like this may awaken him. She tearfully agrees.

Professor Oak is there to comfort her as they take Ash off life support.

In Ash’s “world”.

Ash has finally defeated the elite four, and one by one the people around him start disappearing. eventually everything is black. Pikachu comes dashing towards him glowing brighter and brighter in the darkness. Eventually Pikachu reaches ash and the two embrace one last time.

Back in his room, as his life signs fade, Ash mutters his genuine, final words.

I...Want...To...Be,

The...Very...Best.

The image of his gaunt, tube-fed, ten-some-year bed ridden body on the bed. His head appears bulbous from atrophy. As he utters his last words, he barely opens his eyes, seeing a silhouette of the figure at the center of his turbulent emotions, his mother, her face obstructed by her hands wiping away tears. He makes contact with her eyes and lets out one last tear before losing all strength. She breaks down in hysterics.

The worst part of all this is that Ash will die, never having experienced actual love, imagine if you will, having lived in a world like his, completely shut off from all things but yourself, and your perception of yourself, with nothing but better yourself. No other people to interact with and issues to solve with no guiding hand.

The boy will die, never having known his dream, except as naught but a dream. The second he gets out into reality for that last moment, part of him knows it was all a lie, his faithful Pikachu? His friends? All his imagination, and maybe, he could have fought and clung to life, maybe even made a full recovery. But knowing that his efforts and ambitions had all been for naught, he just gave up and let the motion carry him away, just so he could be with Pikachu, in a place where his friends were waiting.

I would like to think that he'll realize that his mother loved him and was holding out hope that he'd recover all that time. On the flip side, though, when he sees her he knows that the hope she had is totally broken and she'd come to the crushing realization that the worst thing that can befall a parent has happened to her: outliving her only child. At once he knows he is loved and that it means that the one closest to him is utterly crushed.

Still, there are other possibilities. The fountain of time flows in mysterious ways. One could not go back, against the current such as Gatsby; but, one could never see what is waiting for him downstream. Ash finally defeats Lance, only to be confronted by not Gary Oak, but a mute, mirror image of himself.

The voice of the narrator speaks to him, telling him that now he can finally escape the prison of his own mind. One by one, his friends appear and melt away into more copies of him, all cheering him on. After a long tough battle against himself with the assistance of all of his Pokémon he had ever befriended, he jolts awake.

In his hospital room he sees his parents asleep; he finds himself unable to speak.

Ash pushes forward towards his recovery. Going through physical therapy, training harder and harder with rehabilitative Pokémon, until he can walk on his own again. This time, an older and wiser ash sets out on a journey. Just like last time, he's late getting to Professor Oak's laboratory. And when there's only one Pokémon left....He suddenly recalls all his memories of his "life" and realizes that all his friends are gone forever.

As he sets out with his new companion, he finds the world is darker than he imagined. More “real”, Pokémon and people die; he too has aged.

He vows to become the Master he dreamed he was. He vows to himself.

He vows to “them”.

I WILL be the very best!"

I've always had a theory that in post-apocalyptic futures of most comics if the hero is mostly identified with the color red he will lose an eye in that future. For examples look at the Sonic the Hedgehog comics... when they introduced the future Knuckles he wore like an eye-patch. Then in like almost all future versions of the Ninja Turtles, Raph, always loses an eye. Just this morning I saw an episode of Ninja Turtles that reminded me of this because low and behold the future Raph was missing an eye.

My nerdiest argument is simple. Luke Skywalker was not a jedi. Think about it. All the other jedi used the force to chuck stuff at each other during fights. From Yoda to the emporer to vader. Luke didn't throw anything at anyone. He used the force to pull stuff to him like I use my toes to pick up my underwear off the floor. He was just a hell of a swordsman.

@Ophenix: At the very least, what you say is more believable to me than Ashe seeing anything in Vaan.

Holy crap Joseph, 4500 words? Yeesh.

As a warning, my nerd theory is admittedly quite arcane and suffers from a mild degree of Mary Sue-ism. Suffice it to say though, if you haven’t seen Transformers: Beast Machines, it might not be worth your time. This is also ripe with spoilers if you’re worried, though the show is ten years old now. Here are the facts:

1. At the start of Beast Machines, Megatron (not G1 Megatron) is sporting a mean-looking and never-explained scar down his face that he didn’t have back in Beast Wars. He maintains the dragon beast mode that he had at the end of Beast Wars and seeks to rid himself of what he sees as organic imperfection.

2. When Megatron creates three generals to command his armies of Vehicon drones, he uses the sparks of Rhinox, Waspinator, and Silverbolt effectively overwriting their personalities with new ones.

3. When Megatron is “destroyed” at the end of the first season, an enormous yet inert ship bursts from Cybertron’s surface bearing a distinct resemblance to Megatron’s head. At the same time, a strange entirely organic transformer shows up on the scene changing from a kinda crazy-looking wolf into a crazier eyeless dragon with two tails. While seeming to suffer from amnesia, this creature ultimately is revealed to be Megatron who was apparently separated into purely organic and purely technological bodies, though his spark remained with the organic half. (The whole organic vs. tech things is a big part of the show)

Now, the dragon part of Savage Noble (as the creature was called) made sense, but the wolf half didn’t seem to have any precedent. The only wolf anywhere near the picture was Silverbolt (who was a Fuzor—half wolf, half eagle—in Beast Wars). Since Silverbolt was captured by Megatron when the Maximals returned and had the spark stripped out of his body and put into that of the Vehicon general Jetstorm, I like to imagine much-deserved vignette of Megatron tormenting the captured Silverbolt in preparation to pull what is essentially his soul from his body. In a dramatic act of defiance, Silverbolt rakes Megatron’s face with the foreclaw of his beast mode (since all the Maxiamls were locked into beast mode upon contact with Megatron’s engineered virus). A chip of Silverbolt’s claw snaps off and is permanently lodged in the scar. When later Megatron is rent into his constituent technological and organic forms, the Savage Noble body reconfigures Megatron’s original dragon “DNA” and the “DNA” from Silverbolt (since beast modes in Beast Wars actually contained some organic material) ultimately resulting in the wolf and dragon forms of Savage Noble.

If you understood even half of these ramblings, I applaud you. In case it wasn’t obvious, BW/BM Silverbolt is my favorite character in Transformers, but if this seems at all preposterous, you should see the amount of fanon out there justifying various sloppy animation errors G1.

My hero Luke ISN'T the little bitch he appears to be. He's still awesome. Since episodes I, II, and III show off what high-flying motherfuckers classic Jedi seem to be, it's easy to mistake the original trilogy Jedi as the innapropriate version of "special". ACTUALLY, Luke's vast strength in the force shows up when he's getting cooked by the Emperor in VI. Even though he's crying like a child on the floor and needs Dad to save him, he DOESN'T fly out the nearest window like the second most powerful Jedi Master in the galaxy.

Hey! Window. Windu. Shit, I JUST got that.

I feel dumb.

My theory is that George Lucas was a big Peter Pan fan. Metal hand=Capt. Hook. Anakin's mom Shmi = Mr. Smee. OK, lame, but that's all I got.

I remember when I was younger and in the G.I. Joe toyline, they introduced a new Gung Ho figure, wearing the standard Marine Corps dress uniform with ceremonial sword. I came up with a backstory as to the rationale of this figure: I figured his old Village People-style duds got really wrecked in a battle with Cobra, so he was presented with this as a replacement. It wasn't until I got older that I realized this outfit would be impractical for battle anyways, since it's for ceremonial purposes, but hey, you can't blame a kid for rationalizing.....

Okay, so this is a late entry, but fans of V for Vendetta may look at the graphic novel differently after reading this.

Basically, here's the pitch: Who is V in the graphic novel? V is an African-American. This actually works out pretty cool. Check it out:

1. Throughout the comic, we never see V's skin, except by firelight. Keep in mind he keeps his entire skin covered, including his hands.

2. V has a fascination for African-American singers and culture that is clearly made VERY obvious to the reader several times. I feel this is a very important clue that people just skim over.

3. It mentions, albeit in a sneaky way, that African-Americans were rounded up by the government and brought into the concentration camps. That is why we never seen an African-American anywhere in the comics. They were all killed. So, patient V could very well be an minority, and this would explain why they never show any of his face or features.

The implications of this are pretty awesome. Basically, it means that the only superhero is the world is also the only black man left.

I disagree with the idea that V is supposed to be a void. Clearly clues are strewn throughout the novel, hinting that there is a mystery to be solved. And . . . I think I've solved it. Next time you read it, read it with this theory in mind, and it makes perfect sense.

...........fuck... *said in awed voice*

Just read Joseph's post. No way in hell mine will win after reading that one.

@Roserllianism: That's not Joseph's theory, he's just quoting it. I'm not sure if that makes it inelligable, though.

it should, and even if it doesn't he can't win off of it anyway since LealahLupin3 already posted the link to the original author way before that.

Yes, but wouldn't it be funny if Joseph won the prize for random entry? Actually, no, it wouldn't...

WARNING: MILD DOCTOR WHO SPOILERS

I didn't come up with this, but it's a pretty ingenious bit of classic Doctor Who ret-conning undertaken by fans that somehow still manages to make sense to me. It is unofficially known as the Season 6b theory (and it's even on wikipedia).

So, the life of the second Doctor (played by Patrick Troughton) is generally thought to have ended with the show's sixth season in 1969, in a story called "The War Games". It was a ten-part epic that culminated with the Doctor being apprehended by his own race and forced to return his companions to their respective time periods of origin. Two time lords examine all of the "damage" the Doctor has done to time and charge him with meddling, but the Doctor defends his actions by pointing out that he uses time travel to help people and fight evil. Unimpressed, the time lords decide to punish the Doctor by forcing his regeneration and exiling him to Earth. The last we see of him, he is clearly in the throes of...something.

The next season, Troughton would leave and be replaced by Jon Pertwee, the Third Doctor. Most believe that this season immediately follows the events of "War Games". However, some posit that the second doctor DID NOT immediately regenerate, and instead was used as a special agent by the time lords, sent around time and space on specific missions. Thus, there was an unshown addendum to the 6th season. Season 6b.

The funny part is this seems to have been thought up solely to explain "The Two Doctors", a "special" episode in which the sixth doctor (colin baker) reunites with the second. But doctor no. 6 has no memory of the encounter as the second, so if the 6b theory is true, his memory would have had to be wiped at some point.

To make things even more confusing, the second doctor in "Two Doctors" is accompanied by one of his original companions, Jamie, who was supposedly returned home before the 6b events would have occurred. So maybe the time lords allowed the doctor to bring Jamie back, on the condition that they both get their memories wiped?

The other main function of this theory is to explain the unseen gaps of the Doctor's life throughout the series. For example:

-Why does the doctor go from being 450 as the second doctor to 750 just 8 seasons later? Answer: He traveled for an extended period during season 6b, but forgets the details (or maybe each season represents roughly 50 years. Kidding.).

-Why is the second doctor alone when he goes to meet the Brigadier during the events of "The Five Doctors"? Answer: Season 6b.

-Why, at the beginning of the seventh season, is the third doctor wearing a ring, bracelet and homing watch, none of which he had at the end of season 6? Answer: picked them up during, you guessed it, season 6b.

So season 6b is, essentially, the doctor who equivalent of saying "a wizard did it"! But it's such a useful theory for a fan to have.

@Justanothernerd: There actually are stories that fans have determined would take place within the 6b period. No word from the BBC on the actual veracity, but there's a lot that can be fit in there.

The capacity for self-awareness among physical objects in a Pixar universe is a manifestation of personality traits ascribed to those objects by the collective consciousnesses.

This explains why, in the Toy Story reality, only toys that are mass produced seem to be capable of self-reflective thought since the critical mass of collective thought can't be reached for those objects. And since the toys realize that exposing the true nature of their existence would fundamentally alter the mass perception (and thereby threaten their ontological status as sentient beings) they have developed an innate reaction that (for the most part) inhibits their ability to actively interact with people. Further, since this occurs as a result of the collective consciousness, the potential for self awareness does not require that ascription occur on a one-to-one basis.

Now, with Cars, the process is the same, in that their awareness is a result of their relationship with humans and our ascription of personality traits to them through the collective consciousness. However, since the state of self-awareness would preclude automobiles from performing their required tasks in the this reality, the world in which Cars occurs is a distinct yet related reality that mirrors both the emotional attributes ascribed to cars in our reality and acts as a conduit through which cars can assert their own will and self-determination.

@The Man With Two Brains

1) You misspelled my name.

2) You haven't apologized yet. I'm still waiting.

3) I'm not overreacting, if anything, you were the one who so in the first place. This is a contest on Nerd Theories, which by dictionary definition, not colloquial, are inherently far fetched and inconclusive until further data dis/proves them.

4) We're all Dr Who fans. Can't we please just get along?!

@Zidel333: Don't hold your breath waiting for me to apologize. Or better yet, do. Either way, it's not going to happen. Yeah, I'm being a dick about this. I know it. Deal with it.

Also, I feel justified in calling the theory (and those who spread it) idiotic as there's TONS of DIRECTLY CONTRADICTORY CANON.

Also, I'm done with this conversation. Plead all you want for me to do your research for you or for an apology but you're not going to get either. Have a nice weekend.

While Sauron was wearing the One Ring, he was still visible. In addition, Saruon lost his corpreal form upon being seperated from the One Ring. Ergo, the One Ring acts as a sort of tether for Sauron. At some point, he became an extra-dimensional being and needs to channel himself through the ring itself. Others who wear the ring turn invisible, while remaining visible to Sauron and his Dark Riders. The act of putting on the ring warps the wearer into a secondary plane of existence, but not fully. The process is enough to bend light to give them the appearence of invisibility, while remaining tangible. This plane is likely where Sauron resides, perhaps even in a physical form.
If this is true, then the destruction of the One Ring may not have completely vanquished Sauron. The pocket dimension could still remain, but the portal through which he can assert himself is destoryed. Sauron could still exist as a ghost-like figure in this prison, and could still escape if an opening is ever created. Given the proliferation of magic in Middle-Earth, this could happen by accident. Given infinite time, he could even break through into an alternative reality, namely: our own.
This is the only way to explain Dick Cheney.

Here is my theory/hope:

After I saw Wolverine I became convinced that Stryker must have done enough experiments with adamantium to know that when a shard is fired into the brain the metal somehow is able to destroy the neurotransmitters responsible for accessing long term memory.

Seriously, a fucking adamantium bullet to the head and "his memories won't grow back" (paraphrasing). How would anyone know that?? A lot of things in that movie drove me crazy, but this is the only plot hole I have (so far) tried to reconcile.

I got 2.

1. Megaman X is the real catalyst of the MM series. The horrors of war, the deaths of all he ever cared about, the constant fear of going Maverick turn him into a genocidal maniac. He builds Elysium and Neo Arcadia to house only those he deems fit for survival, while he eliminates all who he feels are Maverick. He then constructs the Elder System to house his AI while simultaneously constructing numerous physical copies of himself so can essentially exist forever. Eventually, he realizes he can't stop the spread of the Zero virus on earth and he floods the planet, keeping the Purifier Units(Maverick Hunters) and the Master on Elysium to maintain the Elder System and his AI. The Master sees the folly of X's ways and constructs the Master System to replace the Elder System. This causes a war to break out on Elysium, resulting in the death of the Master, the Elder System shutting down, and the Master System activating, thusly repopulating Earth(Terra) with Carbons. X has a backup plan though, Purifier Unit Trigger is his next body, but for unknown reasons can't get his AI to download in Trigger. So X then creates Data, which houses X's AI to monitor Trigger and eventually figure out how to take him over. X eventually realizes he can't inhabit Trigger. So he leads him to Elysium, fooling him into shutting down the Master System and ultimately reactivating the Elder System so X can take him out, seeing Trigger as a Maverick.

2. Asimov's rule of robotics doesn't exist, and robots are biding their time.

@D-340:
Ahem. Asimov's three LAWS of Robotics haven't been programmed into reality since there's not advanced enough AI out there TO program them into!

Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader did bring balance to the force by throwing the Emperor down the well. They just didn't think all that crap would go down and it would take his entire 60 year life.

I have two geek theories to share. Well, three technically, but they're short.

1) My first involves Fringe. I think that William Bell being played by Leonard Nimoy is not just some cute cameo. I think that William Bell is actually Spock Prime trying to get back to the Prime Star Trek universe. Maybe he's trying to save Vulcan? Maybe he just can't spend the rest of his life as Sylar-Spock's strange uncle? Regardless, he's trying to make it back into his old universe.

2) The next involves Dollhouse. I'm beginning to think that the Dollhouse is actually what remains of Wolfram & Hart, sometime after the Angel finale episode "Not Fade Away." We already have Fred/Illyria, Wesley and Faith. If Gunn, Connor, Spike or Angel shows up, maybe I won't seem so crazy.

3) Granted, I also believe that Seeley Booth in Bones is actually Angel. I feel that adds depth to the character.

Oh, and BlindSquirrel, the reason that humans can't produce fertile offspring with chimps, even though we share 98% of our DNA with them, is because of chromosome 2. In humans, chromosome 2 is fused, in chimps it's in two pieces (chromosome 2a and 2b). At the point of fusion is where many of the genes involved in brain development can be found.

Now, notice that I said "produce fertile offspring." Humans could mate with chimps and probably produced sterile hybrids at least 25% of the time. Haven't you ever read Congo?

The Wizard of Oz (the movie) is actually the story about Glenda the "Good" Witch's machinations to gain total power of land of Oz. Glenda was power hungry and in order to rule the land she needed to destroy the other three magic-users in Oz: The Wizard, the Wicked Witch of the East, and the Wicked Witch of the West. You must ask, how can this be so? Let’s go over the story, shall wee.
The first thing that happens is Dorothy is magically transported to Oz when her house is picked up by a tornado. Tornadoes happen everyday, but people aren’t usually transported to far away lands. So, someone must have created a magical portal and wrapped it up in a tornado to disguise it. Who has the power to control the weather? The only person in the film is Glenda, as shown when she makes it snow to block out the poppies outside the Emerald City.

Glenda then drops the house on the Wicked Witch of the East, eliminating her first obstacle to world domination. The victim’s sister, the Wicked Witch of the West, shows up trying to claim what is rightfully her's, the ruby slippers. Now, at this point, Glenda and the munchkins are all singing about the Wicked Witch of the East’s death and how great Dorothy is for murdering her. Already, Glenda is using her as a patsy. When the Wicked Witch of the West (WWoW for short) tries to claim her late sister’s belongings, Glenda gives the shoes the owner’s killer. Why? She can’t have a “witch killer” running around Oz. She figures she can send Dorothy on a pointless quest where either Dorothy will take out the other two powerful figres of OZ, or the WWoW will kill Dorothy in revenge.

So Glenda tells Dorothy that the Wizard of Oz can get her back to Kansas and sends her to the Emerald City knowing full well that the wizard has no power. All of his power is a Technicolor illusion. Glenda wanted to show the truth behind the "great and terrible" Oz without being implicated in the reveal ( just as sh avoided implication in the WWoE’s death), just so she'll discredit Oz as a powerful wizard.

Now, remember the wizard was not such a great man either. He promises to help Dorothy if she kills the Wicked Witch of the West and return with her broomstick. Neither Glenda nor the Wizard tell Dorothy how to kill the witch, which is with water. Why? Because Glenda doesn't want it getting out how easy it is to kill a witch because then she'd be in danger of a munchkin uprising and the wizard doesn't want Dorothy to survive, because then he'd actually have to use some magic, which he doesn't actually have. Dorothy wouldn't have had a problem killing a witch if someone warned her that "water and witches don't mix". She could have come prepared with a squirt gun or water balloon. Maybe a good amount of spit would have worked.

So Dorothy ends up killing the Wicked Witch of the West (Good move keeping a big cauldron of the one item that can kill you right in your house. You don't see Superman keeping Kryptonite on his living room table.) by accident, returns to the Wizard, to find out he doesn't have any powers to help Dorothy's squad, just some novelty items, but offers to give her a ride home. The wizard knows that he has run out of time in Oz, what with the everyone now knowing he’s powerless, so he offers to give a ride to Dorothy in his hot air balloon. While she’s saying goodbye to her talking lion, straw golem and robot, the balloon gets away (the wizard didn’t even have enough power to get back home) and all seems lost. Now when all of Glenda’s competition is gone, she tries to look a good person and say “You had the power all along. Just click your heels together three times and say there’s no place like home.’ Yes, Glenda looks like she saves the day, but let’s look at this again. She had the power all along! She didn’t need to follow that damn yellow brick road and pick up every loser she met along the way! Dorothy just spent the week fighting fireball tossing witches, chased by flying monkeys, traveling through jungles and fighting apple throwing Ents when she had the power to go home all along! There has to be more to this story. The next thing you’ll tell me is that it was all a dream.

My theory is that vulcans actually lived on earth long ago, but left for several reasons.

What were they called before they leaved their warm and harmonic forest for the cold and hard logic of space?

Elves.

That's why they are better than humans in every way. :)

I believe that Rob is a benevolent and kind nerd god, and that he will not use Lara Croft snuff porn to punish us any longer, and that he might choose me as this random jackass who wins a shirt by just typing random comments on this website.

@The Man With Two Brains: If there is indeed "TONS of DIRECTLY CONTRADICTORY CANON" about how a Meta-Crisis Doctor couldn't possibly be a Dr Who, please tell us, as the MC Doctor being human and (currently) shacked up with Rose in an alternative universe is the only canon regarding that character, period. At this date (pre Waters of Mars) neither MCD or Rose have been mentioned again. Yet. Everything mentioned is just light-hearted nerd theory, and holds just a much validity as your Matrix views. As mentioned above "...mostly because nerds will go waaaaaay out their way to create a theory to explain away a plot hole or obscure some shitty fact about their favorite series

Tommy Valentine: I doubt V would be “African-American” though my quibble is with the “American” part since V-for-Vendetta is set in Britain. Location could also be another reason why we don’t see any “African-Americans”…

Good enough points to make it plausible he could be a “UK resident of Afro-Caribbean origin” though :p
(would have said citizen, rather than resident, but that would have been revoked)

I love this. I love this for many reasons. Let me tell you three.

1) Many of these theories really make sense. It just goes to show that us geeks will find a reason to validate any crappy plot holes in an otherwise good story.

2) Many of these don't make sense. But even when they don't make sense, they're still really awesome. It's like poetry or abstract paintings. Everything is up for interpretation.

And

3) While geeks will find any reason to validate their own theory, they will find the littlest reason to contradict another person's theory. I love everyone's theories, but I also love the reasoning behind the arguements against the theory. That is unless you're just calling someone an "idiot." That's not really an arguement. It's just silly.

But to everyone else, I can't wait for the last day of theories. This is by far the best contest ever.

Oh! I forgot to write, regarding the elves-vulcans theory, that they of course had awesome names like Spockolas!

"Would you like some more elvish tea, Mr. Spockolas?"

"Yes, I would be delighted, Mrs. Saarwiken. I love elvish tea."

Sorry JM. Our stupid American political correctness bleeds into just about everything.

My nerdtheory is that Ophenix posted her "theory" for the sole purpose of provoking Rob into Googling her handle, discovering her shameful activity elsewhere on the internet, and subsequently awarding her the dubious honor of having a FFF devoted to the Final Fantasy rapeslash she writes.

The Man With Two Brains: Just because Zidel's theory doesn't work doesn't give you the right to be a dick. This is a thread about nerdy personal theories. He hasn't done himself any favours, but you should apologise to him for being the kind of rude cockgobbling nonce that give us nerds a bad name.

He tried to offer you the olive branch, man up and take it!

My personal theory is a variant on muggies247's idea.

The GI-Joe organisation is not a real military unit (or a form of retirement)... It's valhalla. The Joes are actually the spirits of soldiers who died heroically in battle. Whether this is as a reward for their efforts in life or a form of training for Ragnarok. A conflict that won't be won by firing coloured lasers around willy nilly, where the whole of reality as we know it will be at stake. We just don't know... And knowing is half the battle!

In High School, we were discussing The Heart of Darkness and I suggested that Marlow had hallucinated the whole experience while ill ala Jacob's Ladder. His journey was an internal struggle to find fight against the course his life was taking and to find his true self. Everyone looked at me and the teacher chuckled.

Another nerd theory just for luck, and because it is depressing enough to inflict on you. Obviously this all got wiped out by the reboot movie but…the Mirror Universe in Star Trek is the original timeline.

We saw in ST: Enterprise that in the Mirror Universe Zephram Cochrane shot the Vulcan in the gut and then he and his fellow ragged survivors stormed the Vulcan ship. Now I had always been a little disbelieving of how welcoming the people of that camp were in ST: First Contact, they had just had the crap shot out of them by the Borg and the only person that started shooting at all these strangers that had appeared right after the attack was Lily? Nobody was seen to walk up to the away team and, hand resting on gun, say “who the **** are you?”

But I could assume that Cochrane, despite being so drunk and them not finding him for a while, was impressed enough with Troi he managed to say “No… deese are…er…friends, they was coming to see da Phoenix launch, you knows * hic * ” and smooth things over.

But (again) throughout ST: First Contact the away team were telling Cochrane more and more about the future, about this glorious peaceful paradise of a Federation. How making first contact changes everything and how wonderful it all becomes. And if you believe the novellisation Doctor Crusher also gives Cochrane some medicine to stabilise his mental condition (some implication that if Cochrane had still been on his meds he’d have not managed to invent warp drive) so he is not (to quote Troi) “nuts”

So when Cochrane meets the Vulcan he has been primed for it. He has been told about how great peaceful first contact will be and he perhaps is feeling more mentally stable than he has since world war III cut off his supply of medicine. So he shakes the hand and gives the whisky and the Federation timeline proceeds.

Without being exposed to the Enterprise-E away team though? Without being told of the glorious future for mankind? There is Cochrane, he has worked so hard for so many years, he and Lily have scrounged and bartered for scraps of material and against all the odds he has achieved his dream of warp-drive and can sell it and retire to a desert island with naked women. But here are actual ALIENS with a ship that must also be FTL… how much would that ship be worth? The information in the computers, reverse engineering the technology, interrogating any prisoners? Never mind retiring to a desert island he could BUY one!

So without Cochrane being influenced by the time travelling Enterprise-E crew… BLAM! And the Terran Empire timeline proceeds.

And another theory I reminded myself of by thinking about the Terran Empire. It did not fall because of Kirk influencing Mirror-Spock, it fell because it was technologically stagnant.

Consider this, according to ST: Enterprise the Terran Empire got their start when Cochrane shot the Vulcan and took the ship. Mirror-Archer actually says how much they owed the Vulcans and we saw that Mirror-NX-01 had shields rather than just polarised-hull-plating. So there is a fairly weak implication that the Terran Empire was inclined towards reverse-engineering rather than innovation (by contrast innovation, as Gul Dukat said, being the Federation’s great strength).

But then in the ST: Enterprise mirror universe episode they find the Constitution class U.S.S Defiant (last seen phasing out of existence in ST: TOS “The Tholian Web”) has crossed universe and travelled a century back in time. The Tholians had found her but the mirror-NX-01 manages to reach that spacedock (thanks to having a cloaking device) and the landing party led by Commander Archer manage to take the Defiant.

Cue much pretty SFX of a Constitution class Starship beating up everything in sight and saving the Terran Empire from the attacking combined enemy fleet.

But…and this is the big but… the I.S.S. Enterprise in ST: TOS “Mirror, Mirror” was almost identical to the U.S.S Enterprise. Uniforms were different, there was the sword-and-planet of the Terran Empire on doors, Spock had a goatee, and I don’t think the U.S.S. Enterprise had an Agony Booth…but the ship was still apparently a Constitution class ship.

Now appearances can be deceptive. The computer I am typing this on still has the same case despite a couple of gut-and-rebuilds, there is a lot of difference under the skin on B-52s from when they first came into service to now, and of course there was the whole Akira-prise thing (where NX-01 looked like the Akira class from a couple of centuries later). It is possible that beneath the panels on the identical looking bridge was more advanced technology, that beneath the plating on the identical looking warp nacelles were more powerful drive-coils… but then again Scotty did seem to be saying the ship was the same.

So if the I.S.S. Enterprise was as identical to the U.S.S Enterprise as it seemed what does that say about the Terran Empire? It has been a century since they acquired the U.S.S. Defiant and they are still building identical ships? It would take time to reverse-engineer a ship from a century in the future, but having that ship would still be an advantage. In the time it took Earth as part of the United Federation of Planets (for all but the first several years of the period) to go from building NX class to building Constitution class ships the Terran Empire has gone from having a Constitution class ship to having the Defiant plus some identical copies.

Even if the I.S.S Enterprise in “Mirror, Mirror” was over 90 years old (having been built within ten years of them getting the Defiant) even if they did not refit her to the extent seen with the U.S.S Enterprise between ST: TOS and ST: The Motion Picture if they had any technological progress you’d expect some small tweaks of a similar nature to how the U.S.S Enterprise changed between Pike’s day (seen in the first pilot) and when Kirk took command.

So at some point between TOS and DS9 the enemies of the Terran Empire finally caught up and finally had ships that were equal to the Constitution class. And then they smashed the Empire, perhaps heartened by Mirror-Spock’s reforms, which they would regard as being fuelled by fear caused by the change in the balance of power.

I don't know if this counts because I did not originate this theory or that I guess its been proven wrong since but at the time, I was a fierce defender of it.

It was before "The Deathly Hollows" was released and everyone had theories on what was the next reveal. Was Snape good or bad? Was Harry a horocrux? Was a major character going to get laid? All interesting topics at the time but one theory had the balls the hang it out there and provide evidence to back it up.

Professor Mcgonagall one of the most trusted members of Hogwarts, Order of the Phoenix, and Griffindor, was a Death Eater. The nerd rage was devastating.

The origin credit as far as i know goes to PattyBNUChick on the Barnes & Nobel boards so I'll just post the link http://bookclubs.barnesandnoble.com/t5/Harry-Potter/Minerva-McGonagall/td-p/13629

Given the clues in the book and also being able to dismiss the non-believers, it's still one of my favorite nerd theories. (That, and orange soda is a universal constant and should be held to the likes of the speed of light and Pi. Seriously have you ever had a bad orange soda?) Even though it's been proven wrong since the release of Deathly Hollows I'm still convinced that J.K. changed her book in response to us being on to her clever ruse.

John, that is IDIOTIC. If you did 3 and a half minutes of research on the film Jacob's Ladder you'll see how unbelieveably dunderheaded and lazy this theory is! There is absolutely ZERO way that could be the case. End of story! No NO NO! WRONG! THANKS FOR PLAYING!

In Giant Robo, there's a lot of talk about believing in yourself, and Giant Robo seems to respond more or less to how much spirit its owner, Daisaku, has at any given moment. Where else have we seen giant robots that require pilots believe in themselves, and are powered by fighting spirit and awesomeness?

That's right. Giant Robo is the first tiny step into the world of Spiral Power. Someday not long after the end of the series, the Anti-Spirals are going to deliver a heck of a smackdown, and Spiral King Lordgenome is going to build his giant city on the Bashtarle itself, just because it'd be awesome. And isn't that what it's all about?

The Man With Two Brains said:

@D-340:
Ahem. Asimov's three LAWS of Robotics haven't been programmed into reality since there's not advanced enough AI out there TO program them into!

The Asimov bit was obviously(and in your case, not so obviously) a joke. Thanks for making me state the obvious, thus ruining said joke. Hoo-frickin'-ray for you!

@John: Nothing says that that theory couldn't be true. I prefer to think that "Heart of Darkness" is part literal and part hallucination, but...

@Zidel333: Ugh, I wasn't going to say any more about it but: a) Doctor 10-2 is HALF-human, Doctor Who is 100% human, b) TARDISes in canon are actual living constructs while the 60s movie TARDIS is an artificial construct, c) Doctor Who started that movie with NO knowledge of Daleks while 10-2 knows all about them, I'm leaving it with an 'etc.' because I don't feel like I should have to name off the dozen or so additional reasons after that. Suffice to say, there's no way it's possible and had you done but a few minutes of research on the 1965 movie, you'd know the three details I listed about it.

And know what, I think I will apologize just to end this nonsense. Sorry I called you guys idiots. I should've said "IGNORANT!" since that would've been accurate, but now you know.

@D-340: You'd be surprised by the number of people I've come across that said the same thing as your joke and WEREN'T kidding around. After the 10th time, I stopped assuming that people are kidding when they say that sort of thing...

See what I figure will happen at the end of Smallville that Clark will finally wear a costume. Yes he is the first red Ranger. Or maybe Batman? Green Lantern? I dunno he hasn't made it to the point of where he wears a costume so I forget who is supposed to be. The Lone Ranger? Fuck! Who is he supposed to be?

@Adam should win just for bringing Wizard of Oz into this nerd fight.

@The Man With Two Brains: "And know what, I think I will apologize just to end this nonsense. Sorry I called you guys idiots. I should've said "IGNORANT!" since that would've been accurate, but now you know."

You shouldn't be calling these people anything. It's none of your business whether their theory fits into canon or not. You're not some kind of masked crusader fighting the tyrany of innacuracy.

This whole Dr. Who argument has me thinking, man... Who thinks there should be a contest of people stating what kind of nerd(s) they are and what kind of nerd(s) that they think they are superior to.
For instance, I like Star Wars and Star Trek in that order, but I feel I'm superior to those who think that everyone and their brother should know every bit of nonsense that happens in the extended universes of those shows.

I think that nerd fights on the internet end the same way they ended in high school. Whole lotta ineffectual slapping and somebody going home crying.

The Man With Two Brains said:
a) Doctor 10-2 is HALF-human, Doctor Who is 100% human

So, that prevents '10-2' from pro-creation with Rose? Time Lords and humans are biologically compatible. Remember that in the Fox TV movie that the Doctor was half human, the result of a Time Lord father and human mother. Like it or not, that TV movie is canon and a flashback of Paul McGann appeared during The Next Doctor and also as a picture in Family of Blood (in his Book of Impossible Things), which places the McGann Eighth Doctor firmly in continuity. The 60's movies also never specifically stated that the Peter Cushing 'Dr. Who' wasn't half alien. Believe me, I own it on DVD.

b) TARDISes in canon are actual living constructs while the 60s movie TARDIS is an artificial construct

So a TARDIS was built, rather than grown. Your point is…?

c) Doctor Who started that movie with NO knowledge of Daleks while 10-2 knows all about them

You mentioned that you've seen Journey's End. Please tell us exactly why Donna had to have her mind wiped again? Oh, yes. Her human biology was unable to cope with the increase in intellect, the sheer amount of knowledge and the Time Lord consciousness overwhelming her. I postulated that for these same reasons, the MCD would have had to have his mind wiped, too. Also, don't you think that the real Doctor would want to do something about someone with rather dangerous scientific knowledge in his head who had no qualms whatsoever about committing genocide? And in his name, too? Too right he would have done something to reign him in apart from asking Rose to keep an eye on him.

Finally, nowhere, and at not point did I mention that this was canon. It was presented from the first as a fun nerd theory, linking to completely disparate continuities, never as fact. The only person taking it seriously was you.

After the disappointment that was Superman Returns was released, I had a theory that made the whole "Superman has a kid with Lois" thing more palpable.

About a year or two after the death of Superman in the comics, there was a storyline called "Dead Again," where *spoilers* Brainiac made the whole of Metropolis (and the world) believe that Superman's corpse was still in the casket, throwing doubt to Superman being the real deal. This, I thought, could end up explaining away the super-child in a Superman sequel.

We would introduce Brainiac in the sequel as an alien life form that collects information. He is obsessed, especially, with the last vestiges of long-dead societies, so he is especially interested in the last Kryptonian. As a means of getting to him, he sees how he cares for Lois and creates the visage of Lois' son. When Superman returns from space, he adapts and takes on some super-strength so Lois believes it is Superman's kid. She takes it in stride because Brainiac makes her OK with it. Otherwise, I think anyone's reaction would be, "When did you rape me, Superman?"

The first half of the movie has Superman battling a minor villain, maybe Metallo, while he starts to get closer to what he now believes to be his son. Just as Superman begins to accept the kid as his own, maybe starts to spend some time with him, the child grows into his actual form of a green alien with a pink golf shirt and shorts (or maybe something more acceptable for a movie in the 21st Century), pulling at the heartstrings of the Man of Steel as he now has to face off against the being he originally thought to be his son. Superman, of course, finally defeats Brainiac, but now there's no child and the defeat of Brainiac also ends up ruining the marriage between Lois and Richard.

Now, everything is back to the status quo and we can have a Superman movie where he can actually punch things.

Now that it looks like Team Singer is off a Super-sequel, my theory is kind of moot, but I think it could have been a pretty fun ride. Having read some of the other theories here, though, a lot of them are a helluva lot better than mine, but I figured I'd throw this out there.

Ever seen the show Castle? My favorite nerd theory explains how Rick Castle's daughter is so unbelievably perfect. I mean, she is a A+ student, does her chores/homework in advance, has a dorky, harmless boyfriend, always gets home 10 o'clock, and she loves, loves, loves her father and only wants his approval. The one time she lied it was about something ridiculously small, and she even fessed up to it when no one would have ever found out. The guilt was killing her!

I keep waiting to see a dark side: drug use, murders, Fan Fiction Friday submissions... but nothing; there's nothing! She IS PERFECT.

How?

Simple.

SHE IS A DOLL. RICK CASTLE'S REAL DAUGHTER DIED IN A CAR WRECK/FIRE YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS AGO, AND THE RICH/FAMOUS/CONNECTED LOS ANGELOS CRIME AUTHOR BOUGHT HIMSELF A NEW ACTIVE REPLACEMENT DAUGHTER FROM THE LA DOLLHOUSE!

Now I'm waiting for her to say "Did I fall asleep?" or "There are 3 flowers in a vase" or some crazy shit like that.

I just copied and pasted Joseph's entry into MS Word.
Font 12: 14 pages, 4543 words, 49 paragraphs, 20824 characters, not including spaces.

That's dedicated.

@Nameless: To use a metaphor, I'm telling you about buildings and you're nitpicking about colours.

a) It's two different people, get over it. The Doctor 10-2 cannot be Doctor Who because Doctor Who was HUMAN, 100% HUMAN. Sorry.

b) TARDISes can't be built in canon, they have to be grown, and if Doctor 10-2 wanted a TARDIS, he'd figure out how to grow one, he wouldn't build it.

c) Doctor-Donna was a HUMAN with Timelord knowledge, so it had to be wiped. 10-2 WAS NOT wiped, and he remained HALF TIMELORD (see point 'a').

Believe whatever the fuck you want to believe, but it doesn't fit canon. Period. Get the fuck over it.

My theory is that Fraggle Rock is actually a metaphor for Marxism.

Think about it: You have the Doozers who represent the working class who's work is literally fed upon by the Fraggles, frivolous and foolish creatures who represent the bourgeoisie. They in turn are preyed upon by the Giants who represent the Ruling classes (Note one wears a crown and the believe they’re the centre of the universe).

The Final kicker is the oracular trash-heap, a rubbish religion attended to by priestly rats…

Think about it!

@Toplessnerd: Yeah, whoever wrote it is quite dedicated. Joseph, however, states at the beginning of his comment that it's NOT HIS THEORY and that he was just quoting it for us.

When I was still posting on a Harry Potter forum, waiting for OotP, I had a theory, mostly to mock the outrageous, unfunded theories that were flying about.

This theory states that HAGRID ISN'T REAL.

Mind you, not in a Tyler Durden or Donny Kerabatsos way, he really exists
But he has been created by a young but powerful Tom Riddle as the ideal scapegoat for when he starts opening up the chamber of secrets.
Hagrid seems ideally 'made' to have been the one to open the chamber: half-giant (unthrustworthy); likes huge, dangerous animals; can handle these dangerous animals;...

He's not very bright and pretty big, because that fits in great with the 'giant' backstory, but also because creating an entire human, that can believably pass off, is easier if he's bigger (like Frankenstein's monster)

He was 'made' a year before he would go to Hogwarts, a period in which Tom Riddle was already powerful, but still looking for the chamber

His parents are not around anymore. His 'father', a small man who probably, like all wizards, kept to his own, never existed, that's why he died just before Hagrid went to Hogwarts. His mother, an unnamed giant, is conveniently not around anymore.

Hagrid himself doesn't know about this, he really has those childhood memories. Tom Riddle has fooled everyone into thinking he exists, and has existed for 11 years.
Everyone, except for one man: Dumbledore. Tom Had originally intended for Hagrid to be sent off school and vanish into obscurity and just cease to exist.

But Dumbledore wouldn't let that happen: he had figured out what Hagrid was, and out of respect for everything alive (even if they're not really real), he kept him going. He hired Hagrid as a gamekeeper and let him stay, believing this extraordinary (although tick) man could be a good ally.

This would be a major reveal in one of the later books, because Hagrid, who had until then been the kindhearted buffoon, would suddenly turn on Harry under the influence of Voldemort, because he can control him.

Another theory I like, but which isn't really that nerdy, is that Paul McCartney is dead, leaving Ringo as the only surviving Beatle. This is just the most outrageous theory I've ever heard (also, because most theories about singers say they're actually alive), but they've actually got some great stuff to back it up.
There are supposed to be several 'clues' in their lyrics and artwork.
But the best 'evidence' to me is that after the beatles had split up, John Lennon made some amazing stuff. And what did the other creative genius behind the beatles make? Right...

The reason the T-Virus must still be out there, out of Raccoon City, is because of the crows. The zombies maintained basic motor controls, such as walking, and knowing when to approach (and subsequently eat) food. The Raccoon City incident occurred in September, 1998. This is close to migration, therefore crows must've left the city, still holding the t-virus in their body. A peck or two, a zombie few. This will open the way for the latest installment of Resident Evil, and not some piece of shit Gears of War remake where they kill off the most badass character in the franchise, assholes.

The Sorceress wants to rule Eternia. She's been planning it for years.

-When the Council of Elders disappeared, their 'Powers' were given to the Sorceress to Protect. She was already guarding them within Greyskull.
-She helped Man-at-Arms to keep the forces of evil on the dark hemisphere with the 'Mystic Wall'.
-Randor was made King of Eternia because he was the one who drove the evil Keldor away. (Sorceress warned Randor about possible threats and the arrival of a Hero.)
-The wall 'fails' and Adam is forced to become He-Man (Eternia's Superman, yet he is forced to keep his ID secret.)

-Adam cannot tell anyone his secret (because it would put his loved ones in danger or so the Sorceress told him...) Bullshit! Adam and his Family ARE Skeletor's prime target. (and Castle Greyskull.) She just doesn't want the rest of Eternia's sub-kingdoms rebelling against the main Kingdom of Eternos.

-Teela is the Sorceress' clone. (She's planning ahead.) If her body does grow old, she's got a new one and placed in close contact with her pawn, The crown Prince of Eternos.If Teela can't charm the young prince, she'll rule Eternia by force (guiding Adam/He-Man towards her goal.)

-Adam needs to summon the Power of Greyskull in order to become He-Man. Who is the guardian of the Power? Sorceress.
Not only that, but Adam MUST keep the 'cowardly and useless prince' charade in order to protect He-Man's secret. In case the fall of Randor ever happens, the public's suspicion would be thrown to Adam. The Sorceress would prove Adam's innocence, but fearing anarchy a neutral party should take control of Eternia, like say... The Hero that hails from Castle Greyskull... He-Man... (not really He-Man but a 'Faker'controlled by the Sorceress...) (Man-at-Arms and Orko would have to be dealt with swiflty and efficiently in order to avoid complications.) Adam (after being 'traned' by the Sorceress) would become King. Adam will be cleared of all charcges and he'll choose Teela (who will discover that the Sorceress is her 'mother' and The Sorceress would 'die'after merging her spirit with Teela's body.) as his queen, thus combining Eternos and Greyskull into one Kingdom.

-The only threat to her would be Hordak. That's why she allowed Adora (the only other person who could be used as a pawn) to be taken. On Etheria Hordak took over the world swiftly and was planning on Returning to Eternia. Why would Sorceress send Adam with the Sword of Protection to Etheria? (It was not to recover the long lost Eternian princes.) She needed a pawn to distract Hordak from coming to Eternia. That's why Adora got better powers than Adam. (Skeletor is a pansy that even 'Burger King' Randor could take care of.)

-Earlier I mentioned having Adam and Teela becoming the next leaders of Eternia. THe Sorceress needs Adam's bloodline becuase it can Harness the Power of Greyskull. Combining her DNA with Adam's, the future child shall be the ultimate being. (The Sorceress would discard her Teela body, once the child of Adam and Teela reaches a certain age and obtain ULTIMTE POWER... Full control of the Power of Greyskull, the knowledge on how to use it and, next in line to the throne of Eternia...)

@ dr who fan drama people

I beleive Dr Who is right in the middle of the graph in the Law of Fan Jackassery
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheLawOfFanJackassery

@The Man With Two Brains

(Sigh) Read this again. This is important. Carefully this time... nowhere, and at no point did I mention that this was canon. It was presented from the first as a fun nerd theory, linking two completely disparate continuities, never as fact. You can believe what you wish. I never said it did fit canon. Or would. Note the word 'theory' here.

Also

a) It's two different people, get over it. The Doctor 10-2 cannot be Doctor Who because Doctor Who was HUMAN, 100% HUMAN. Sorry.

Never, at any point, does either 60's movie state that 'Dr Who' was 100% human. That is canon within the movie series. If you know where this is contradicted in the movies, please tell me, and I'll check on my DVD. Sorry, it just doesn't. Get over it.

b) TARDISes can't be built in canon, they have to be grown, and if Doctor 10-2 wanted a TARDIS, he'd figure out how to grow one, he wouldn't build it.

Just because (in The Impossible Planet) the Doctor stated that TARDISes where grown, not built, does not mean that someone could not build something similar and CALL it (a) TARDIS. Which is what the movie Dr. Who did. The Daleks also have dimensionally transcendental technology in their time machines (The Chase and also The Evil of the Daleks). These, in canon, have never been stated as being grown, not built.

c) Doctor-Donna was a HUMAN with Timelord knowledge, so it had to be wiped. 10-2 WAS NOT wiped, and he remained HALF TIMELORD (see point 'a').

Then again, '10-2' was not a full Time Lord. Half-HUMAN.

Also, you don't need to resort to such language. The real test of maturity is learning how to express yourself without resorting to swearing.

Thank you and good night.

@Nameless: Watch Journey's End again. It SPECIFICALLY shows that 10-2's memories DO NOT GET WIPED. Doctor Who DOES NOT KNOW OF THE DALEKS BEFORE MEETING THEM. As such, they are CLEARLY NOT the same person.

That's not to mention the fact that in the movie, the character Doctor Who was born on Earth, and actually has the last name "Who" unlike 10-2 who was accidentally created in a TARDIS orbiting a star, and is NOT named Who, but would most likely adopt either the name 'Smith' (like his common psuedonym) or take Rose's last name of 'Tyler'. (see point a)

Along with that, the TARDIS in the movie was newly invented, yet the movie was taking place in the 1960s at its start, not the early 2000s like when Rose and 10-2 are left at Bad Wolf Bay. (see point b, and the newly created point d for the chronological discrepancy)

Point 'e' would add that the Peter Cushing character Doctor Who looks nothing like David Tenant's 10-2 and the Doctor stated that his doppelganger would NOT regenerate, but would grow old and die. He'd need to regenerate to fit the massive change in appearance.

To add to point 'c', the Doctor, with his memories clearly intact, would recognize Skaro in the movies and as such be prepared for what he were in for if indeed they were, as you so illogically and nonsensically claim, the same man.

Yo, Who geeks, NO ONE CARES. Stop trolling the blog...

@Ophenix: It's not Trolling, it's a heated debate.

Ok, here's my balance to the force theory

The Balance of the force is the elimination of the Sith and the Jedi, and to have Force users who are capable of using both sides of the force.

Annakin did this in episode 6, Luke did this in the expanded universe "Dark Empire" comics.

Since the Force is supposed to be this natural thing It's this balance of good and evil , light and dark, that is a part of nature.

Even Yoda appears to have discovered a part of this by episode 5:
"Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes."

But where Yoda is of the old school he doesn't fully believe that one can master both the light and dark sides of the force, just a dyed in black Sith can't see the benefit of using the light side of the force.

So basically the force is the force, a quasi -magical field that some genetically gifted people can tap into. It neither evil nor good, just like fire is neither evil or good. A fire can keep you warm or cook your food, or it can burn a city to the ground.

Its all how you use it that matters.

This theory of mine came about after playing RPGs like Chrono Trigger. Chrono Trigger was most famous for allowing the player to restart a game with all the foreknowledge and experience of the original playthrough, which was called "New Game Plus." So I came up with the idea that, once we die, we experience "New Life Plus."

You pretty much live your life again from the very beginning, only this time you have knowledge of what you experienced before hand. Of course, you wouldn't be able to remember EVERYTHING (can you really recall every single thing that's happened in your life), but you'd have a sense of familiarity, especially the closer you got to events. Also, even though you'd have knowledge of HOW to do things, you wouldn't be able to do them unless your body was capable of doing those things (you can't walk or talk as an infant until your body develops into it). Of course, with knowledge and experience comes the ability to change and alter things and thus deal with new consequences.

Also, no one else in your "new life" experiences "New Life Plus," at least as you can perceive it. Everyone else goes on living unless you alter things, and also adjust accordingly, but not as if they are as conscious of the changes as you are. Sure, this also pretty much takes the concept of "Groundhogs Day" to a much larger scale, but hey, it's no worse than any other "theory" of the afterlife.

I believe the Joker is a tulpa created from Bruce Wayne's mind. He's a personification of senseless crime, the seeds of which had been planted the moment Joe Chill pulled the trigger on his parents for no real reason. This is why the Joker has no identifiable human characteristics, and can never be truly caught or cured. So long as there is a Batman, there will be a Joker. By extension, it could be said that all of the Joker's victims are indirectly Batman's victims, as well. But Batman can't help it. He's insane. If it were not for the Joker, Bruce Wayne would be smearing on face paint instead of wearing armor.

@Tyler-- I really like your Castle theory. I just wish there were stronger creative links to back it up. Anyone from Dollhouse as a writer or producer would be cool, but right now it has more links to Numb3rs or Dark Angel.

@The Man With Two Brains

"The Man With Two Brains said:

@Nameless: To use a metaphor, I'm telling you about buildings and you're nitpicking about colours."

Technically, that's an analogy, not a metaphor. Analogies can be metaphorical, but they are not metaphors themselves.

@Lincolparadox: It started as a metaphor, but you're right, I turned it into an analogy by refering to it as a metaphor. My mistake.

My nerd theory? Best way to win a Nerd Theory Contest is to disregard all contest rules, and pretend it's a forum to continue your nerd theory ideas.

If Rob was any kind of benevolent dictator, all the Whovian fans who took over the contest deserve t-shirts.

I already won mine (for something related to Doctor Who, actually), so I'm good.

I only submitted my outdated and disproven Matrix theory for a potential runner-up spot.

So, I’ve been debating posting this all weekend.. Partly because I know I will never live this down, and partly because I fear that a Government agent will knock on my dorm room door within the next 24 hours. I really want a TR T-Shirt though.. So..

I think Digimon are real. I always have. It wasn’t until I befriended a man who is essentially a less caricatured version of Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, that I had some bizarre reasoning to support such a claim.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the third season of Digimon, “Digimon Tamers,” it was for the most part written and directed by Chiaki J. Konaka. Who was behind the anime “Serial Experiments Lain.” Digimon Season Three is essentially a much more kid friendly version of Lain. Digimon Tamers takes place in the “real” world, where kids all watch the original Digimon series on TV and play the games and shit..

My friend and I had found a website that translated Konaka’s notes for creating Tamers. Pretty much everything in the show is scientifically sound by some theory or another.

So we ended up hypothesizing that Digimon are actually real, and the cartoons were created in an effort to trivialize any conspiracy theories that would argue such a thing. The two of us had our fair share of moments akin to Mr. Crocker from Fairly Oddparents.. We would take photos of any strange foot prints we found and have them analyzed by professional trackers.. We went around measuring the electro magnetic fields in the area. We sat around entire nights training artificial intelligence programs.. We even set bait up on occasion and waited with binoculars.. Which resulted in a lot of happy deer..

I did a power point presentation in my 8th grade science class on the subject. I never once used the word Digimon. I brought up how Deep Blue defeated World Chess Champion Garry Kaparov in 1997. I explained how artificial intelligence could gain personalities based on certain files encountered on the internet. I talked about how a digital entity could take on a corporal form by learning how to rearrange molecules in the atmosphere. When I got my grade the comment the teacher made was "Sounds like Digimon." That was a bit embarrassing but hey, an A is an A.

I’ve come up with a million more plausible explanations.. However, like Fox Maulder, I want to believe.

My theory, the one that I secretly, half-heartedly believe (and yes, I understand how absolutely cracked out this is, and only whip it out online/when drunk) is that Doctor Who is actually happening in a parallel universe, and that certain people (Sydney Newman, RTD, etc.) act as 'conduits' through which the stories are channeled and broadcast as fiction in our universe. Sort of like Galaxy Quest in reverse, but with psychic powers involved.
It explains why the series has been running so long (some would say against all odds) and why people are willing to continue to tell the Doctor's story year after year after year.
The conduits aren't perfect-each one only receives the bare bones of the story, then adds their own personal touches and preferences. For example, RTD adjusted the story to give Rose a much bigger part (i.e. her constant references during Season 3.)
The reason I love this theory is because it explains away all plot holes, all the nonsensical science (the writers couldn't understand the science which REALLY saved the day in any number of episodes, so they just made up some stuff), all OOC moments (it's just the writers adding on their personal touches!) and the gap between Seven and Nine (it was the Time War, natch! No psychic energy could pass through!)
It's also completely fucking psychotic.

Also, I feel bad because it's a Who theory, and other Who fans have been totally trolling the board.

I've always thought that White Wolf (publishers of RPGs such as Vampire: the Masquerade and Werewolf: the Oblivion) chickened out of what really should have been the end of the original World of Darkness.

WWs' releases from Kindred of the East and Hunter: the Reckoning were clearly geared towards the coming of the sixth age and the final battle between good and evil.

Somehow WW did address this on their Time of Judgement series, but did so in a line-per-line way (each line got their own separate book/section), no final realization of the true nature of reality, and the final team-up between the different factions in each "race" (Vamps, Weres, Mages, etc).

I guess that dealing with the truly Big Questions got too hot for WW (see Demon: the Fallen), and the hate for the Metaplot that WW's editor had been building up are the reasons why the New World of Darkness has no real solid ground regarding setting: no origins for vamps, no functional consensual reality for Mages; sadly, I would have loved to see the fall of the WoD into the Sixth World and the great battle between factions.

My theory was that Obi-Wan lied to Luke about Owen and Beru Lars. Obi-Wan was merely waiting for the right moment to recruit Luke. Kenobi "frightens" away the sand people and saves Luke. As Luke is knocked out (note they did not kill Luke, though they could easily have), Obi-Wan calls his other tusken raiders, yes, his...he lives in their area for a reason, because he's their leader. While Obi-Wan stalls Luke at his house, Kenobi's sand people murder the Lars couple and attack the sand crawler. Notice that Obi-Wan tells Luke what happened in a manner very much like a Jedi mind trick "Only imperial stormtroopers are so precise". Having eliminated Luke's ties to Tatootine and convinced him that the Empire is evil, Obi-Wan can get Luke to do whatever he wants. It all leads to Obi-Wan's telegraphed "defeat" by Vader, clearly staged at just the right moment so Luke can see Kenobi's "heroic" death. After that, Luke is willing to committ mass murder by blowing up the Death Star, which he later does. Obi-Wan was a liar, a manipulator and a murderer.

my theory involves the story that palpatine told anakin during that horrible space opera with all the bubbles. It involved Darth Plagueis. During the story palpatine told anakin that this sith lord was believed to have discovered a way to prevent death and possibly create life from nothing. I don't have all my facts straight but after some reading on wookieepedia (a credible source) I read that palpatine was in fact Darth Plagueis apprentice. So my theory is that after palpatine murdered Darth Plagueis he continued his training and eventually found a way to create life. He then set his plan in motion to control the universe by impregnating anakins mother with his newfound power. Anakin was to be the false prophet or distraction if you will so that palpatine could carry out his plans un-noticed. So Palpatine is in fact Anakins father from a certain point of view.

My theory is that comic books are real but exist in another dimension and The Joker (from the comics) again stole Myxlplyx's powers, came to our dimension and killed Heath Ledger for changing his look and upstaging him.

There are some really crazy theories here. My limited imagination could not come up with anything like this but I'll try one out.

My theory deals with the X-Men. Jean Grey is not really dead. She has just had her consciousness transferred into Emma's body. How else would Scott go with her since she is the slut of the X-Universe. If Scott was really being faithful to Jean, he would not be with Emma. The only reason I can think of it is that Jean is now in Emma.

@Liz: That's related to my overall theory of artistic inspiration which I didn't list because it's not a nerdy theory per se. My theory is that all stories are true in one reality or another and are just pulsing through across 7th dimensional lines to cross over into creators' brains. But anyway... sorry for making you feel bad about it, I've just been in a really bitchy mood all weekend and when I saw something so obviously wrong, it set me off. I've admitted a couple times already to acting like a dick about it...

@telezombie: I like that a lot. Seems like Lucas may indeed have been hinting about that. Either that or Palpatine was lying out his ass and had been telegraphing the fear of Padme's death so he could lure Anakin under his wing and make it a self-fulfilling prophecy... or a little of both. I think I like the little of both thing. Palpatine creates Anakin, influences Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan to find him and bring him to Coruscant, has Darth Maul kill Qui-Gon and sacrifice himself to Obi-Wan to get Kenobi to insist on training Anakin in his master's memory, then projects the idea of Padme dying to Anakin and pulls him over to the Dark Side with the idea of saving her only to trick the young Skywalker into making it a self-fulfilling prophecy to make him hate the Jedi and turn fully into a Sith...

Hell, that idea alone makes the prequel trilogy about 40% more watchable... Almost like Lucas had a plan all along.

@Zidel333
@Nameless
@anyone else I was bitchy to:

Sorry for being a dick. I've been in a bitchy mood all weekend due to shit going on in my personal life and having to revisit some horrible memories from my past and although I maintain I am in the right as far as the Doctor Who facts go, I was in the wrong about the way I argued about it. Sorry to everyone for being an asshole, I shouldn't have let my bad mood affect my actions on here.

My nerd theory relates to fringe. Although it has been apparently proved wrong. But I still really liked it, as did several other fans of the show that I told it too.

POSSIBLE FRINGE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Walter Bishop and William Bell are the same man William Bell was a divergent personality that Walter created due to guilt over the treatment of child test subjects. Thus when something inappropriate was being done the William persona was active, Walter dormant. Same Initials same basic scientific ability. William has been "Missing" since around the time Walter was released from the Instituion.

This makes sense of how Walter almost always knows exactly what is the cause of the situation and it just happened to involve something he was a part of or something he theorized years in the past.
This also gives a reasoning to his constant willingness to use Oliva in further experiments. Since that's what she was for him to begin with years before. It also serves as an oppurtunity for the William persona to be aware of what she remembers, so as to prevent her from exposing him.

Well thats the basics of my theory It didn't get to develop further for obvious reasons which watchers of the show are aware of.

My nerd theory relates not to any show, movie, book or video games but to the actual nerds.

They all have an ingrained character trait to believe what they think is true is the one and only truth.

I ask you all this. Have you ever heard a nerd concede during a nerd argument? Even when someone has clearly and concisely pointed out how incorrect they are.....nope its never happened.

@Wade Vs The World.

I thought that applied to people in general.

Wow. The collective lengths of these responses...wow.

If the prize comes out today, then my new theory is that Topless Robot is either a time lord or a real robot.

I guess my greatest(worst) nerd theory has to do with Dragonball Z. No matter who I end up discussing DBZ with if that person is not a fan it always ends up the same way," DBZ sucks, Its so slow and takes forever to get anywhere in the story" Having gotten tired of hearing this I started to go into automatic mode explaining how the fighters in DBZ move so fast it is impossible for normal people to view them at this speed so the show is required to slow the fights down to allow the viewers to experience the fights in normal speed.

Ok, here goes- Jesus Christ was a vampire.

2020-some years ago, the very first vampire, Jesus Christ became a plague upon the world, causing panic all across the Middle East while seducing, and vampirising, innocents. He claimed to be the Son of God, though in reality he was the opposite- he was the Son of Satan.

The "miracles" Jesus performed were at the cost of souls. Healing the sick and the infirmed, or raising a dead/near dead person (Lazarus) are perfect examples. Jesus drank their blood and gave them the gift/curse of an everlasting life in service to Satan.

Using these and other "miracles" as proof of his divinity, Jesus began to amass a great number of followers; a flock of sheep from which he could have his pick. Jesus was not a shepherd of men, he was a wolf preying upon them.

His reign of terror was finally ended by a group of 12 brave men. The bravest of whom were Peter and Judas Iscariot who infiltrated his inner circle and betrayed him. Jesus allowed himself to be nailed to the cross, knowing he could survive such an ordeal and would emerge that much more powerful in terms of influence. He did not count on, however, Peter disguising himself as a Roman soldier and driving a stake through his heart. To cover up the details (more on that later) historical accounts were changed to refer to a Roman soldier spearing Jesus in the side.

After Judas' grisly death (more than likely at the hands of the vampires still loyal to Christ), Peter became the leader of the anti-Christ vampire hunters. This group of 12 (11 now) were the ones who came to protect humanity again three days later when Christ's followers resurrected him in a demonic ritual. After a bloody battle, of which the details have been lost to time, Christ was killed again with a stake through the heart. This time, Peter removed Jesus' head to prevent further resurrections (though the remaining vampires stole his body).

Knowing how many human followers had bought into Jesus' tricks, Peter and the others were aware of, ironically, the hope he represented to a depressed populace. To learn that their messiah was actually a demon would crush their hope and their spirit. As such, it was decided to let the myth of Christ as a healer, teacher and Son of God to grow and spread. Peter and the others renamed themselves the Disciples, and they spread the good word that Jesus had falsely preached throughout the land.

Unfortunately, unlike in works of fiction, killing the head vampire does not kill those he has converted. The remaining vampires scattered themselves across the globe. Thus the stage was set for the rapid spread of Christianity across the world. The church does not care about whether or not poor African children become Christian when it sends a priest to teach the village about god. The important thing is sending a trained vampire hunter to protect them and keep them from being converted, literally, to evil.

The Vampire forces were particularly strong in the 1700s and 1800s, which inspired much vampire related fiction. This also lead to the church releasing details to the public about how to combat vampires. Much of the information they spread was false, but the important thing was that more and more people came to church out of fear; their contributions to the church kept international vampire hunting missions going.

In the present day, vampire attacks have become more and more sparse. However, the clergy must remain ever vigilant as we have no idea how many vampires may be biding their time and amassing their forces. They wait for such a time that they are strong enough to launch war against the church, free the head of Jesus from the catacombs of the Vatican and bring their undead master back to plague the earth once more!

And that is why the crucifix is the symbol of the catholic church. It's not a celebration of the death of Jesus and the promise of eternal life- it's a warning. "Stay dead Jesus, you remember what happened last time!"

note: though I am aware of it, I have never seen Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter. Those filmmakers, so innocent. So naive.

I'm surprised no one has tackled this yet (or at least I didn't see it above)

Where does Prime's Trailer go?

The most common theory is subspace. The idea that Prime's trailer, along with various other Transformer parts and weapons is floating around in some alternate existance until it is pulled back into our reality such as when Prime transforms back into truck mode.

Actually the real answer is much simpler: transporters.

Essentually, certain Transformers like Optimus Prime and Omega Surpreme have built in transporters, perminately connected to the detachable parts of their anatomy. Thus, whenever the living unit goes anywhere, it can send out a signal and transport the rest of the lifeless components to that area. These transporters use a lot of energy, which is why most Transformers only use it for small things like weapons, and it can be harmful to actuall living energy which is why the Transformers' actual life spark must be contained in the unit that is physically travelling to a new location. But it is a useful technology for moving mass that otherwise would have to be constantly and awkwardly carried around all the time. Instead, things can just be left behind and recalled at a later date.

My personal nerd theory is that Batman, the Dark Knight INTENTIONALLY has the ridiculous numbers of plot holes and devices as a reflection of the chaos and nihilism that the Joker represents.
Things happening off screen (the kidnappings of Dent and Rachel), impossible acts (suturing a cell phone bomb into the guy who would be at the holding cell when he was needed?), the overall chaotic pace of the film, and the stumbling through scene after scene. Rachel gets tossed out of Bruce's apartment window, he goes after her, saves her life, and BANG. ITS THE NEXT DAY. The Joker has all of Gotham's elite, including presumably Harvey Dent in Wayne's apartment being held hostage...and he....LEAVES? There's never any explanation as to how he gets away! I would think that Bruce...KNOWING HIS OWN APARTMENT, could have perhaps locked it down and grabbed the Joker right then!
So I'm left with my theory that all of this was intentional!

ok, someone needs to back me up here.

Radio Flyer. the kid lives.

its been suggested that Bobby, the younger brother, actually crashes and dies on the homemade airplane shortly after take off. the whole story of Bobby growing up to travel to world was made up by Elijah Wood/Tom Hanks to deal with the loss of his brother. this has some weight when Tom Hanks tells his two sons at the end of the movie that "thats how i remember it."

but come on. the kid makes it.

the postcard that the mom receives at the end is proof. they lived in northern California, im pretty sure. its not impossible for Bobby to fly the short distance to Arizona and end up on the buffalo ranch. even if he DID crash shortly after take off, he would have been far enough away that he could have started hitch hiking or moving around on his own without his airplane and was basically a runaway.

i refuse to believe that Radio Flyer is a really a story about a man who fabricated an epic coming of age tale to cope with the death of his brother.

I had always thought that the Smurfs weren't just simply communists, but also a hallucination. I believe the Smurfs were just the product of an over-active schitzo immagination concocted by a crazy old man living in the middle of the forrest with just his cat. Gargamel is simply a crazy hermit living in a shack in the woods and imagines these little blue creatures that he for some reason feels the need to consume. This would explain that despite his many attempts he's never been able to eat a smurf nor has he come accross any smurf corpses.

How is it possible that the citizens of Naboo voted for Jar Jar Binks to be their representative in the senate!? Firstly, the Gundum were the lesser race on the planet, and even amongst his people he was considered to be a complete bafoon and was ousted from their civilization! Who would vote for that idiot. The worst part was that he voted for the disolution of the imperial senate. Which of course is preposterous since their Queen, was completely against the bueauracts in the first place. Ridiculous.

If ssaying other people's theories doesn't count, then here's one of my own that I throw into the ring. C-3PO didn't need to get a memory wipe in order for him to not recognize Luke, Leia, Obi-Wan, etc.

Think about it. C-3PO was pretty an indoor protocol droid, and stayed indoors most of the time, aside from going out to wave a flag at the Pod Race in The Phantom Menace, so he wouldn't exactly be familiar with all the terrain, aside from all the deserts and whatnot.

With that in mind, when he crash lands on Tatooine, he's in the middle of a dessert, and when he is brought to civilization in a windowless sandcrawler. Unless he decides to presume that every dessert planet is Tatooine he will have no idea where he is, as he asks Luke.

When he meets Luke, notice that Luke never mentions his last name. Only Luke, and C-3PO only refers to him as Master Luke. When C-3PO asks what planet he's on, he isn't told Tatooine, he's told that "if there's a bright center to the universe, you're on the plant it's farthest from." C-3PO never met Obi-Wan in the trilogy and wouldn't recognize the name, and (and this seems to be the clincher for me)when he is about to see Anakin's lightsaber being given to Luke by Obi Wan, he SHUTS OFF BEFORE SEEING IT. This seems so convenient, I would have sworn that he wouldn't need a memory wipe.

And to anyone who says this is a stretch, Chewbacca apparently met Yoda and never mentioned it.

My theory isn't the most earth-shattering, but I think it makes enough sense and covers something that I've never heard anyone address but always bugged me.
Since AvP confirmed all the events of both franchises occur in the same universe, how the fuck does Bill Paxton play different characters living a century or so apart?
It's simple, Jerry Lambert (the cocky douche from Predator 2) is a great great great great ancestor of Pvt. Hudson (he needs no introduction). Works for me.
Also Bill Paxton is the only motherfucker whos been killed any an Alien, a Predator, AND a Terminator.
You can't beat that.

My theory is that aliens are just hyper evolved humans from the future.

I'm sure it's been mentioned before, but I'll say it here anyway without reading 250 posts...

I believe E.T. was a Jedi botanist from the future of the Star Wars galaxy.

Look at the facts:

1. He is from another galaxy.
2. He has telekinesis.
3. He has the ability to enter a healing trance.
4. He can heal others.
5. He can link himself mentally to another person (Elliot was Force-sensitive!)
6. He is, in fact, a botanist.
7. Members of his species were seen on-screen in the Republic Senate.
8. When he saw a kid in a Yoda costume, he said "HOME! HOME!" and tried to talk to him.

and finally, as proof that Elliot was Force-sensitive (aside from his ability to link with E.T.), he was invited to go with E.T. at the end of the movie. Even though Elliot couldn't understand Basic and E.T. couldn't speak much English, it seems like E.T. wanted Elliot to come to Coruscant to join the Jedi academy as his padawan.

OK. So that last part is extrapolating a bit, but I'm willing to believe that E.T. was inviting Elliot to be a Jedi.

Dumb kid. He should have gotten on that ship.

@ Kinjikai

Actually, your Force theory is one that's being explored in the EU books. There are a few species that see the Force as a multi-hued "rainbow" rather than just light and dark, and there are some who see it as just the Force, with no distinguishing "sides" at all.

There are two schools of Sith, too. One (the old order) sees the dark side as exclusive. The other (the rule of two) sees the dark side as an accessory to the light side; An amplification, if you will. The rule-of-two Sith believe that they are doing things for "the greater good" and that controlling the galaxy is the way to keep it safe. The old order Sith don't see it that way-- They seek control because they see power as the ultimate goal of the dark side, and failure to strive for the greatest power is a weakness in character.

I, personally, subscribe to the "no light, no dark, just The Force" school of thought. For example, I refuse to believe that you can't use Force lightning with good ethical intentions and effect. No Force technique is "evil"-- it's the person using it and the purpose for which they use it that determines good or evil.

@ Alkad

The Batman as mental patient theory is just plain AWESOME. I'd read it as a comic book.

Just watch. Alan Moore or someone else is going to steal it and make a mini-series out of it.

Hmmmm. Well, my nerd theory is an attempt to explain pretty much the same thing here; the general shitty-ness of the Jedi. To prove that I'm a nerd, here's my theory as sent in email to my Star Wars nerd brothers and nerd friend (just a few weeks ago, in fact.) The e-mail was even entitled "nerd alert":

"I was killing time watching "Empire Strikes Back" last night, and something struck me about the scene where Luke tells Yoda and Kenobi that he has to shortcut his training to rescue his friends. You know how Kenobi and Yoda are warning Luke not to go, telling him that he's not ready to face the dark side, that he could be corrupted and go the way of Vader? Well, they're wrong, aren't they? Luke isn't ready, obviously, but he also isn't corrupted by Vader, not even when Vader tells him that he's his father. Instead he chooses (so he thinks) to die rather than go with even the father that he's now regained. Well, watching that again, it seems to me that in going to rescue Han and Leia, Luke not only rejects his training, but he rejects the callous indifference of Yoda and Kenobi to the fate of his friends, an indifference that I think is born of the Jedi's arrogance and smugness about their position, their training and their "faith." Instead Luke demonstrates compassion for his friends, and in doing so he deliberately chooses a different path from his predecessors. And he succeeds, where they failed and were wiped out. And it's obviously not because he becomes so powerful a Jedi (he does of course), because his strength comes not from his power but directly from his compassion, first for his friends, and then in the third movie for his father. I guess that never really struck me before because before the most recent movies, I had no idea how arrogant and smug the Jedi were as a whole. I don't even know if Lucas means them to be so arrogant (honestly, the movies are so bad it's hard to tell what is and isn't intentional) but I think he does. And I think Luke rejects that out-of-hand in Empire, and is proven right in the end."

Ever since I saw Phantom Menace I thought the Jedi were arrogant assholes, and that seemed way out of whack with what they SHOULD be (knights in shining armor, right?) So that's my theory as to why; their assholishness leads to their downfall, and Luke deliberately rejects it. My theory does not explain midichlorians which, I'm sorry, cannot be explained as anything other than doofusness on Lucas' part.

I am in awe of some of the theories here. I think websites like this exist so I don't feel quite as crazy postulating my own theories...

So, Superman fathered a kid in Superman Returns because he became human in Superman 2 for Lois… and, well, if a guy is going to give up SUPER POWERS for a girl, the least she can do is give it up to him… As my friend pointed out, what do you think happens every time Rogue loses her powers...?

Zidel333 - You're totally right

KaiserX - I've always believed that WoD was real, and the games were just the NWO's way of dismissing any claims of reality. I believe very firmly in consensual reality and sleepers.

I love you, Hawkeye.

Luke brought ballance to the force, he was the chosen one. Yoda was right, the prophecy was mis-read.

I have a ton of Nerd Theories. I'll give the short version of two:

1) The Doctor is interested in the human race because he subconsciously knows that a group of humans will evolve into a new race of Time Lords. This is why he and other time sensitive races are continually getting involved in human affairs. Why doesn't he know directly? Because the Terran Time Lords will be more powerful than the Gallifrian Time Lords (they learned from their mistakes) and it will only be a group of them, not the entire race, so while the rest of the human race goes on it's merry way, the Terran Time Lords can hide away. When discovered through their own travels, they simply claim to be from Gallifrey

2) Kryptonians didn't come by their powers naturally, but through genetic manipulation. You can't evolve something that can pass as a human on anything other than a duplicate of Earth. But the origin planet has a larger neighbor, the real Krypton, which it orbited. The proto-Kryptonians eventually overcrowded their planet and tried to settle on Krypton. The gravity was much higher, so they genetically modified themselves with denser bodies. But problems occurred that this denseness wasn't enough to tackle things such as reproduction and the strain was enough to shorten lifespans. So they created an artificial organ that slightly manipulated gravity. This organ required a lot of power (early experiments required almost constant eating), so they developed a way to get power from the sun through the skin. This solar power was very useful and so was tied to other enhancements in sight and hearing. As their civilization aged and their sun started to shift to red, they kept upping the efficiency of the solar cells and even used it to create a slight force field and nutritional supplement to battle the incoming radiation and the thinning atmosphere. When Krypton was going to explode, Jor-El searched the universe and realized that only Earth was close enough genetically to not have his son stand out like a sore thumb and would have the possiblity of reproduction. Figuring Earth's much more powerful sun might overload the Kryptonian solar cells, he modified Kal-El's sight enhancements to allow him to expel solar radiation through his eyes should the build-up become too much. Upon reaching Earth, Kal-El's abilities became supercharged from the millions of years of Kryptonian genetic manipulation. As such, it is incorrect to show that Superman would become human when he loses his solar abilities. He should still have greater than human strength and body density.

3) The greatest stupid geek movie would be "Alien Vs. Predator... in the Terminator future". Very little dialogue, no real need for human actors, just 2 hours of action.

Okay, I don't know if anyone has mentioned these yet, but there are too many theories here to read and I only have 10 minutes left at work.

1) The Kingdom Hearts series is all make-believe. The kids are all Final Fantasy/Disney fans and are playing a game. Think about it, in the beginning of KH1, Sora's mother calls out to him while he is hanging out in his room, but then she is never mentioned again. Not even the room. All the kids are real, the worlds/characters are all imaginary. Every time a new kid is introduced in the series is a new friend playing the game. Kind of explains the messed up storyline, doesn't it?

2)In the LOTR films, they're really good and making armor and weapons for the orcs, and they're quite adept at breeding them (ewwww thoughts) but they forgot one important thing, to teach them how to fight! Think about it, you see the smiths making everything and burning the trees to stoke the fires, but no one is ever practicing. Even the hobbits practiced fighting Boromir. That's why they're so easily mowed down by our heroes.
and last 3)How do the Clonetroopers go from being so useful in the prequels to useless in the Originals? Simple, the Clonetroopers were direct clones from the original Jango Fett, whereas the the Stormtroopers were cloned from the Clones, and as Mutliplicity taught us, once you make a copy of a copy, it won't be as clear as the original.

The only thing that amazes me is that, with a topic such as this, there was only ONE flame war. We all know that nerds are overly fond of their pet theories, so it was inevitable... but only one?!? By gods, I'm impressed. We are truly evolving as a species...

@ Ophenix
I totally agree. Yes, I am a shameless yaoi fan girl. Yes, I am probably looking for excuses. But it still works.

And I invite Rob to use any of my fan fiction pieces for FFF. :)

A ridiculous theory someone brought up to me involves lesbian aliens (aren't they our favorite kind?) You see, in the movie "Aliens" the mother Alien is in love with Ripley, and hates the little girl because she's jealous of their relationship. Ripley forms the ultimate act of lover's betrayal by torching their love's offspring and ripping the alien's vagina off. These are the theories you have to listen to when you take a feminist theory film class at a women's college.

I like the Paxton theory...but I believe Lance Henrikeson was also killed by all three..if you count bishop

@ Travis

I actually have a similar theory regarding Kingdom Hearts. It's all in Sora's head. He is either in a coma or has lost all grip reality. The beginning of the series has him in the water. What actually happened was that he was drowning. He barely survived.

During the game, he is constantly searching for Riku and Kairi; they were with him during this accident. They were seperated and he needs to find them. In his fragile mind, he is responsible and needs to atone.

In my theory, Sora is kind of a flighty kid. He grew up on Disney films and loved them. So, he was able to travel to all the worlds he escaped to as a kid. There, he became the hero he always wanted to be. His favourite characters came to rely on him for help.

The year long sleep that took place between Chain of Memories and Kingdom Hearts II was a result of treatments Sora recieved for his condition. His brain retreated within itself and protected this carefully constructed fantasy.

Roxas is in fact Sora's other half. He is Sora's grip on his reality. This explains why he never sees Roxas's face. When he finally catches up, this other half is abosorbed into him. But by then it is too late.

In my mind, Sora never woke up. Yes, he goes home, but to the fantasy island. He has saved the world and is at peace.

Feel free to poke holes. I left a lot of things unexplained. That's my idea. Of course, there is another theory I have that Sora is a split personality of Neku in The World Ends With You...but that is neither here or there.

I have a theory that transformers may not have been built as their historical records suggest, but rather evolved as biological organisms would.
In the far ancient past, metalic ions with a very basic data-processing functionality developed the capability to replicate themselves, and over millions of years, they grew and evolved into larger, more advance, shape-changing life-forms.
Somewhere down the line, the species diverged, and split into the more compassionate Autobots and malevolent Decepticons. The two subspecies have been in conflict for control of their home territory of Cybertron.

The Joker.
Blown up, fallen from helicopters, he keeps coming back.
He was supposed to be a crazy man with white skin. But what if the chemicals caused more of a change than that?
Joker's psyche was loosened from his body. Imagine a chemical that causes skin to go slack and fall off - only it is your mind that goes instead
Every time Joker has apparently died, he actually has. His current body dies but his mind moves on, finding the next receptive mind, usually someone whose will is sufficiently weak for him to take over. But he is still loose and with each body a bit of their memories come with him. Who he was is lost among the sussurus of all the minds he was hijacked.
And Batman knows this. He secretly works on a way to lock down the Joker into one mind or at least get him out. And it is why he cannot kill the Joker. The host is innocent.

My theory is also about Star Wars. The problem that I see with that universe and its continuity is that there is virtually no technological progress (at best). At worst there is a technological regression between Episode 3 and 4 (RotS and ANH). The weapons are all the same, the ships are the same, HUDs look worse than the ones we have on F14s (designed in the early 70's before ANH was released), and at best some of the ships are bigger than before. IE we have a power and scale increase but no fundamental breakthroughs.

Furthermore, if you take the books into account, you see that for approximately 2000 years there was once again very little innovation, and in the Ysan Vong story rock throwing morons kick a ton of Republic ass and kill Chewie.

In contrast, the Star Trek universe has invented things that SW can't even imagine - and in less than 100 years. They have transporters, replicators, holodecks, numerous methods of time travel, the ability to reignite stars, create black holes, etc. They also have advanced genetic engineering technology, which I haven't seen in SW.

So anyway, my theory is that the Force is a side-effect of a giant super-computer that is in the center of the SW galaxy. The supercomputer is running some sort of calculation, using the brains of all sentient (and possibly non-sentient) beings in the galaxy. This explains why everybody in the universe is retarded (no technological progress from first to fourth episode, and over thousands of years according to the books), and how the Jedi know about events that haven’t happened yet. Both Jedi and Sith are computational nodes in this giant hetero parallel computer, which is how they can do various things, by manipulating the energy used to carry data between the nodes. The midichlorians are agents of the giant program used to modify beings for use by the computer, possibly by mucking around with their DNA and repairing any errors in the genetic code caused by drift and environmental effects.

The Force – the supercomputer – control some events in order to maintain the program stability. Individual control nodes – Jedi and Sith – can also manipulate the force in order to achieve a local computational objective of some sort, and in order to manage the other common nodes. And the balance that Anakin was supposed to bring is simply another name for culling of some of the control nodes and/or repairing the system architecture. Or perhaps it was a method assigning more resources to a secondary program.

@Kenny Strife - problem is that Superman can do a lot more. In the Superbat storyline when Batman got Superman's powers he basically wiped out all crime in Gotham in a few hours, and then went global. So Superman may also have an underlying desire to fail of some sort, since he could pretty much eliminate organized crime on the planet.

I know I'm a little late but my theory always had to deal with the Falcon.

Supposably, Redwing the Falcon's bird and he share a psychic rappaport between them. But what if the power does not come from the falcon? What if it comes from Redwing? Redwing has other psychic powers that we haven't noticed over the years. Why did Captain America take the falcon on as a partner... redwing psychically willed it. Why has the falcon not died when he's getting shot at... there is no way hes able to dodge bullets in that shitty ass harness.. because redwing is protecting his friend. Redwing has immense psychic powers that are truly being underused.

It makes more sense than the falcon being a A level hero. Doesn't it?