TR Contest: Greatest Nerd Theory

By Rob Bricken in Miscellaneous

Friday, October 2, 2009 at 5:00 pm

Today's contest idea comes from DJRM, who went out of his way to both Twitter and email me about his plan. He didn't have to; it's great idea, mostly because nerds will go waaaaaay out their way to create a theory to explain away a plot hole or obscure some shitty fact about their favorite series. Any nerd who has ever explained why Boba Fett couldn't have died in the Sarlacc Pit or how Daleks are genuinely scary (sorry, Who fans, I've started the first season and they just make me giggle) has been guilty of this.

As always, myself included. I'll tell you my greatest nerd theory, which I'm still kind of proud of -- regarding the midichlorians from Phantom Menace. Like all of you, I was aghast that the Force had suddenly turned into biology and racked my brain trying to explain it. And I did -- I became convinced that Lucas had put it in the movie to suck on purpose. I reasoned that Lucas was intentionally making these early Jedi shitty, to which I also ascribed Qui-Gon's dickish refusal to un-enslave Anakin's mom -- and that Lucas was trying to tell us these Jedi had lost their way with the Force. They had turned it into a science, forbidden Jedi from loving. Had shitty committee meetings instead of doing good. They'd lost their way, and that's why they could no longer sense the Dark Side when it was right under their fucking noses. So I figured by the third movie, there was going to be a major moment of revelation as the Jedi were getting destroyed, probably by Yoda, about how they'd screwed up, and in that sense, by destroying the corrupted Jedi, Anakin truly was bringing balance back to the Force. And when Luke restarted the Jedi order, he would embrace the spirituality and the compassion that the Prequel Jedi had forgotten, finishing the work.

Now I've depressed myself.

So cheer me up by giving me your nerd theories. Only one entry per person, but it has to be something you believed in -- or still believe in. There'll be two winners -- one randomly chosen, and then my personal favorite; and the contest will end on October 5th at 12:01 am EST. Have a great weekend, and try not to thinking about Lara's jungle adventure too much, okay?

Tags: Contests, Star Wars

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This matches my theory as to the reasons blade 3's villians sucked, the hero's are just so good, this was all that was left.
I have a theory that falls within the fringes of nerd lore - though perhaps not in the era of postmodernism. In the film - bear with me people - 17 again, I firmly believe that Zac Efron's character is actually the middle aged dad (Matthew Perry) trapped within the body of a 16 or 17 yr old! My girlfriend thinks this is totally unjustified, but there's ample evidence in the movie to support this theory. First of all, the similarities between the opening and closing scenes (the basketball final) are remarkable. In fact, the film-makers appear to have hidden a secret clue in that the actor who plays the young Matthew Perry looks remarkably like Zac Efron. Don't worry if you're only just noticing it - these clues aren't immediately obvious on a first viewing. Also, the scene in which Matthew Perry's wife is comically enamoured with Zac Efron's character would be well explained if she is noticing in him some of the characteristics she remembers from when her husband was young. The strongest evidence, which almost takes this theory out of the realms of speculation, is the title of the film itself! 17 again! This could easily be taken to mean that Matthew Perry's middle-aged character becomes 17 again...and that it is actually the dad character (albeit younger in appearance) who is played by Efron throughout the film. Admittedly, the film seems to be quite realistic in tone elsewhere - so it would be unusual if it contained such an obvious supernatural element. But I'm holding onto this theory, even if even if my Uncle Cletus thinks its ridiculous.
Ewoks eating human storm troopers wouldn't make them cannibals, just carnivorous.
The theory I subscrib to is that there was no little brother. He was an identity created by Elija Woods character to deal with being abused. Him "escaping" was a way to cope and get over his abuse.
Another vital in site into historical philosophy within the Star Wars universe. While I was working on a transition on my sitcom plot, unbidden from the depths of my mind came this sentence: "Aren't R2D2 and CP0 the Benny & George (from "OF Mice & Men") of the Star Wars universe?" Quite obviously any other thought was sidetracked and I IMMEDIATELY called Gregg and began to open up the rhetorical dialog; namely because he is the only other human being I know of with the same knowledge of both the book & Star Wars from a literary perspective. Not surprisingly, he immediately pointed out that, "Yes, I was a blithering idiot, however I did have a few legitimate points". Now assuming you count the "Prequels" as cannon and especially if you are a fan of Keith Martin's fantastic bit of fan logic: http://kingbiscuitpants.wordpress.com/2010/01/06/a-brilliant-bit-of-historical-anayalisis-by-keith-martin-a-new-sith-or-revenge-of-the-hope-reconsidering-star-wars-iv-in-the-light-of-i-iii/ R2-D2 is completely aware that C-3P0 was constructed by a 10 year old with emotional problems who managed to have saved his ass the first time he was unfortunate enough to crash on Tattooine; so he feels a certain amount of debt and loyalty towards the kid and his awkward creation; then after the kid goes from colleague to enemy, taking care of the burden of a lumbering, partially brain wiped shiny liability; as he attempts to continue working as a data mule for the burgeoning Rebel Alliance. But as far as R2's daily routine goes, he pretty much is dragging around a shiny autistic with polyglot verbal skills. R2 routinely has to do everything from direct him to where he's going, to frequently reassembling the clumsy twit, and that's not even taking into account all of the inane prattle, cowardly behavior and generally irritating personality that C3P0 has. Certainly C3P0's awkward and annoying behavior has distracted various species as R2 does his "trash bin James Bond" bit, think of the countless hours of inane prattle he has to endure. In the end this is one of the values that Star Wars teaches us, namely that "family is family" no matter how evil or annoying or prone to amputation of your extremities, at the end of the day midichlorians are thicker than water.
in that case take into account batman's superhuman willpower and drive, remember suoerman at heart is clark kent and has a need for a normal life batman would happily abandon the bruce wayne persona and literally everything else in order to truely gain victory over crime & to be the ultimate instrument of justice. In fact I think that this is one of the primary resentments he has toward superman, he secretly sees him as "soft"
with lois not freaking out about the piano thing, I think he always has powers & she's desperately training him to hide them A-LA Clark.
remember he did the wholw temporary human thing in superman II so that would have explained the non fatal sperm.
well duh, they were about to spit roast the rebels, everyone knows ewoks love human flesh
I know I'm late, and this is not really much of a nerd theory; however I think it is a pretty good one. I think that names beginning with Bel are somewhat predestined to have their lives intertwined with monsters of some sort. First, we have Belle from Beauty and the beast, who becomes a prisoner of a monsters, and falls in love with him. Second we have Bella from the Twilight Saga. Admittedly, I have neither read the books nor seen the movies, however I think I have the basic plot down. Bella is intertwined with monsters, having to choose between a werewolf and a vampire (Admittedly, she is choosing between Beastiality and a double feature of Pedophilia and Necrophilia, but we'll get into that later). Thirdly, we have Bela Lugosi. Bela played roles in numerous monster movies and became closely affiliated with Boris Karloff, who played Frankenstein's Monster. But wait, there's more! There is a character in the 2005 remake of King Kong with a character named Jimmy, played by James Bell. I think I may really have something here.
I know I'm a little late but my theory always had to deal with the Falcon. Supposably, Redwing the Falcon's bird and he share a psychic rappaport between them. But what if the power does not come from the falcon? What if it comes from Redwing? Redwing has other psychic powers that we haven't noticed over the years. Why did Captain America take the falcon on as a partner... redwing psychically willed it. Why has the falcon not died when he's getting shot at... there is no way hes able to dodge bullets in that shitty ass harness.. because redwing is protecting his friend. Redwing has immense psychic powers that are truly being underused. It makes more sense than the falcon being a A level hero. Doesn't it?
@Kenny Strife - problem is that Superman can do a lot more. In the Superbat storyline when Batman got Superman's powers he basically wiped out all crime in Gotham in a few hours, and then went global. So Superman may also have an underlying desire to fail of some sort, since he could pretty much eliminate organized crime on the planet.
My theory is also about Star Wars. The problem that I see with that universe and its continuity is that there is virtually no technological progress (at best). At worst there is a technological regression between Episode 3 and 4 (RotS and ANH). The weapons are all the same, the ships are the same, HUDs look worse than the ones we have on F14s (designed in the early 70's before ANH was released), and at best some of the ships are bigger than before. IE we have a power and scale increase but no fundamental breakthroughs. Furthermore, if you take the books into account, you see that for approximately 2000 years there was once again very little innovation, and in the Ysan Vong story rock throwing morons kick a ton of Republic ass and kill Chewie. In contrast, the Star Trek universe has invented things that SW can't even imagine - and in less than 100 years. They have transporters, replicators, holodecks, numerous methods of time travel, the ability to reignite stars, create black holes, etc. They also have advanced genetic engineering technology, which I haven't seen in SW. So anyway, my theory is that the Force is a side-effect of a giant super-computer that is in the center of the SW galaxy. The supercomputer is running some sort of calculation, using the brains of all sentient (and possibly non-sentient) beings in the galaxy. This explains why everybody in the universe is retarded (no technological progress from first to fourth episode, and over thousands of years according to the books), and how the Jedi know about events that haven't happened yet. Both Jedi and Sith are computational nodes in this giant hetero parallel computer, which is how they can do various things, by manipulating the energy used to carry data between the nodes. The midichlorians are agents of the giant program used to modify beings for use by the computer, possibly by mucking around with their DNA and repairing any errors in the genetic code caused by drift and environmental effects. The Force – the supercomputer – control some events in order to maintain the program stability. Individual control nodes – Jedi and Sith – can also manipulate the force in order to achieve a local computational objective of some sort, and in order to manage the other common nodes. And the balance that Anakin was supposed to bring is simply another name for culling of some of the control nodes and/or repairing the system architecture. Or perhaps it was a method assigning more resources to a secondary program.
The Joker. Blown up, fallen from helicopters, he keeps coming back. He was supposed to be a crazy man with white skin. But what if the chemicals caused more of a change than that? Joker's psyche was loosened from his body. Imagine a chemical that causes skin to go slack and fall off - only it is your mind that goes instead Every time Joker has apparently died, he actually has. His current body dies but his mind moves on, finding the next receptive mind, usually someone whose will is sufficiently weak for him to take over. But he is still loose and with each body a bit of their memories come with him. Who he was is lost among the sussurus of all the minds he was hijacked. And Batman knows this. He secretly works on a way to lock down the Joker into one mind or at least get him out. And it is why he cannot kill the Joker. The host is innocent.
I have a theory that transformers may not have been built as their historical records suggest, but rather evolved as biological organisms would. In the far ancient past, metalic ions with a very basic data-processing functionality developed the capability to replicate themselves, and over millions of years, they grew and evolved into larger, more advance, shape-changing life-forms. Somewhere down the line, the species diverged, and split into the more compassionate Autobots and malevolent Decepticons. The two subspecies have been in conflict for control of their home territory of Cybertron.
@ Travis I actually have a similar theory regarding Kingdom Hearts. It's all in Sora's head. He is either in a coma or has lost all grip reality. The beginning of the series has him in the water. What actually happened was that he was drowning. He barely survived. During the game, he is constantly searching for Riku and Kairi; they were with him during this accident. They were seperated and he needs to find them. In his fragile mind, he is responsible and needs to atone. In my theory, Sora is kind of a flighty kid. He grew up on Disney films and loved them. So, he was able to travel to all the worlds he escaped to as a kid. There, he became the hero he always wanted to be. His favourite characters came to rely on him for help. The year long sleep that took place between Chain of Memories and Kingdom Hearts II was a result of treatments Sora recieved for his condition. His brain retreated within itself and protected this carefully constructed fantasy. Roxas is in fact Sora's other half. He is Sora's grip on his reality. This explains why he never sees Roxas's face. When he finally catches up, this other half is abosorbed into him. But by then it is too late. In my mind, Sora never woke up. Yes, he goes home, but to the fantasy island. He has saved the world and is at peace. Feel free to poke holes. I left a lot of things unexplained. That's my idea. Of course, there is another theory I have that Sora is a split personality of Neku in The World Ends With You...but that is neither here or there.
I like the Paxton theory...but I believe Lance Henrikeson was also killed by all three..if you count bishop
A ridiculous theory someone brought up to me involves lesbian aliens (aren't they our favorite kind?) You see, in the movie "Aliens" the mother Alien is in love with Ripley, and hates the little girl because she's jealous of their relationship. Ripley forms the ultimate act of lover's betrayal by torching their love's offspring and ripping the alien's vagina off. These are the theories you have to listen to when you take a feminist theory film class at a women's college.
@ Ophenix I totally agree. Yes, I am a shameless yaoi fan girl. Yes, I am probably looking for excuses. But it still works. And I invite Rob to use any of my fan fiction pieces for FFF. :)
The only thing that amazes me is that, with a topic such as this, there was only ONE flame war. We all know that nerds are overly fond of their pet theories, so it was inevitable... but only one?!? By gods, I'm impressed. We are truly evolving as a species...
Okay, I don't know if anyone has mentioned these yet, but there are too many theories here to read and I only have 10 minutes left at work. 1) The Kingdom Hearts series is all make-believe. The kids are all Final Fantasy/Disney fans and are playing a game. Think about it, in the beginning of KH1, Sora's mother calls out to him while he is hanging out in his room, but then she is never mentioned again. Not even the room. All the kids are real, the worlds/characters are all imaginary. Every time a new kid is introduced in the series is a new friend playing the game. Kind of explains the messed up storyline, doesn't it? 2)In the LOTR films, they're really good and making armor and weapons for the orcs, and they're quite adept at breeding them (ewwww thoughts) but they forgot one important thing, to teach them how to fight! Think about it, you see the smiths making everything and burning the trees to stoke the fires, but no one is ever practicing. Even the hobbits practiced fighting Boromir. That's why they're so easily mowed down by our heroes. and last 3)How do the Clonetroopers go from being so useful in the prequels to useless in the Originals? Simple, the Clonetroopers were direct clones from the original Jango Fett, whereas the the Stormtroopers were cloned from the Clones, and as Mutliplicity taught us, once you make a copy of a copy, it won't be as clear as the original.
I have a ton of Nerd Theories. I'll give the short version of two: 1) The Doctor is interested in the human race because he subconsciously knows that a group of humans will evolve into a new race of Time Lords. This is why he and other time sensitive races are continually getting involved in human affairs. Why doesn't he know directly? Because the Terran Time Lords will be more powerful than the Gallifrian Time Lords (they learned from their mistakes) and it will only be a group of them, not the entire race, so while the rest of the human race goes on it's merry way, the Terran Time Lords can hide away. When discovered through their own travels, they simply claim to be from Gallifrey 2) Kryptonians didn't come by their powers naturally, but through genetic manipulation. You can't evolve something that can pass as a human on anything other than a duplicate of Earth. But the origin planet has a larger neighbor, the real Krypton, which it orbited. The proto-Kryptonians eventually overcrowded their planet and tried to settle on Krypton. The gravity was much higher, so they genetically modified themselves with denser bodies. But problems occurred that this denseness wasn't enough to tackle things such as reproduction and the strain was enough to shorten lifespans. So they created an artificial organ that slightly manipulated gravity. This organ required a lot of power (early experiments required almost constant eating), so they developed a way to get power from the sun through the skin. This solar power was very useful and so was tied to other enhancements in sight and hearing. As their civilization aged and their sun started to shift to red, they kept upping the efficiency of the solar cells and even used it to create a slight force field and nutritional supplement to battle the incoming radiation and the thinning atmosphere. When Krypton was going to explode, Jor-El searched the universe and realized that only Earth was close enough genetically to not have his son stand out like a sore thumb and would have the possiblity of reproduction. Figuring Earth's much more powerful sun might overload the Kryptonian solar cells, he modified Kal-El's sight enhancements to allow him to expel solar radiation through his eyes should the build-up become too much. Upon reaching Earth, Kal-El's abilities became supercharged from the millions of years of Kryptonian genetic manipulation. As such, it is incorrect to show that Superman would become human when he loses his solar abilities. He should still have greater than human strength and body density. 3) The greatest stupid geek movie would be "Alien Vs. Predator... in the Terminator future". Very little dialogue, no real need for human actors, just 2 hours of action.
Luke brought ballance to the force, he was the chosen one. Yoda was right, the prophecy was mis-read.
I am in awe of some of the theories here. I think websites like this exist so I don't feel quite as crazy postulating my own theories... So, Superman fathered a kid in Superman Returns because he became human in Superman 2 for Lois… and, well, if a guy is going to give up SUPER POWERS for a girl, the least she can do is give it up to him… As my friend pointed out, what do you think happens every time Rogue loses her powers...? Zidel333 - You're totally right KaiserX - I've always believed that WoD was real, and the games were just the NWO's way of dismissing any claims of reality. I believe very firmly in consensual reality and sleepers. I love you, Hawkeye.
Hmmmm. Well, my nerd theory is an attempt to explain pretty much the same thing here; the general shitty-ness of the Jedi. To prove that I'm a nerd, here's my theory as sent in email to my Star Wars nerd brothers and nerd friend (just a few weeks ago, in fact.) The e-mail was even entitled "nerd alert": "I was killing time watching "Empire Strikes Back" last night, and something struck me about the scene where Luke tells Yoda and Kenobi that he has to shortcut his training to rescue his friends. You know how Kenobi and Yoda are warning Luke not to go, telling him that he's not ready to face the dark side, that he could be corrupted and go the way of Vader? Well, they're wrong, aren't they? Luke isn't ready, obviously, but he also isn't corrupted by Vader, not even when Vader tells him that he's his father. Instead he chooses (so he thinks) to die rather than go with even the father that he's now regained. Well, watching that again, it seems to me that in going to rescue Han and Leia, Luke not only rejects his training, but he rejects the callous indifference of Yoda and Kenobi to the fate of his friends, an indifference that I think is born of the Jedi's arrogance and smugness about their position, their training and their "faith." Instead Luke demonstrates compassion for his friends, and in doing so he deliberately chooses a different path from his predecessors. And he succeeds, where they failed and were wiped out. And it's obviously not because he becomes so powerful a Jedi (he does of course), because his strength comes not from his power but directly from his compassion, first for his friends, and then in the third movie for his father. I guess that never really struck me before because before the most recent movies, I had no idea how arrogant and smug the Jedi were as a whole. I don't even know if Lucas means them to be so arrogant (honestly, the movies are so bad it's hard to tell what is and isn't intentional) but I think he does. And I think Luke rejects that out-of-hand in Empire, and is proven right in the end." Ever since I saw Phantom Menace I thought the Jedi were arrogant assholes, and that seemed way out of whack with what they SHOULD be (knights in shining armor, right?) So that's my theory as to why; their assholishness leads to their downfall, and Luke deliberately rejects it. My theory does not explain midichlorians which, I'm sorry, cannot be explained as anything other than doofusness on Lucas' part.
@ Alkad The Batman as mental patient theory is just plain AWESOME. I'd read it as a comic book. Just watch. Alan Moore or someone else is going to steal it and make a mini-series out of it.
@ Kinjikai Actually, your Force theory is one that's being explored in the EU books. There are a few species that see the Force as a multi-hued "rainbow" rather than just light and dark, and there are some who see it as just the Force, with no distinguishing "sides" at all. There are two schools of Sith, too. One (the old order) sees the dark side as exclusive. The other (the rule of two) sees the dark side as an accessory to the light side; An amplification, if you will. The rule-of-two Sith believe that they are doing things for "the greater good" and that controlling the galaxy is the way to keep it safe. The old order Sith don't see it that way-- They seek control because they see power as the ultimate goal of the dark side, and failure to strive for the greatest power is a weakness in character. I, personally, subscribe to the "no light, no dark, just The Force" school of thought. For example, I refuse to believe that you can't use Force lightning with good ethical intentions and effect. No Force technique is "evil"-- it's the person using it and the purpose for which they use it that determines good or evil.
I'm sure it's been mentioned before, but I'll say it here anyway without reading 250 posts... I believe E.T. was a Jedi botanist from the future of the Star Wars galaxy. Look at the facts: 1. He is from another galaxy. 2. He has telekinesis. 3. He has the ability to enter a healing trance. 4. He can heal others. 5. He can link himself mentally to another person (Elliot was Force-sensitive!) 6. He is, in fact, a botanist. 7. Members of his species were seen on-screen in the Republic Senate. 8. When he saw a kid in a Yoda costume, he said "HOME! HOME!" and tried to talk to him. and finally, as proof that Elliot was Force-sensitive (aside from his ability to link with E.T.), he was invited to go with E.T. at the end of the movie. Even though Elliot couldn't understand Basic and E.T. couldn't speak much English, it seems like E.T. wanted Elliot to come to Coruscant to join the Jedi academy as his padawan. OK. So that last part is extrapolating a bit, but I'm willing to believe that E.T. was inviting Elliot to be a Jedi. Dumb kid. He should have gotten on that ship.
My theory is that aliens are just hyper evolved humans from the future.
My theory isn't the most earth-shattering, but I think it makes enough sense and covers something that I've never heard anyone address but always bugged me. Since AvP confirmed all the events of both franchises occur in the same universe, how the fuck does Bill Paxton play different characters living a century or so apart? It's simple, Jerry Lambert (the cocky douche from Predator 2) is a great great great great ancestor of Pvt. Hudson (he needs no introduction). Works for me. Also Bill Paxton is the only motherfucker whos been killed any an Alien, a Predator, AND a Terminator. You can't beat that.
If ssaying other people's theories doesn't count, then here's one of my own that I throw into the ring. C-3PO didn't need to get a memory wipe in order for him to not recognize Luke, Leia, Obi-Wan, etc. Think about it. C-3PO was pretty an indoor protocol droid, and stayed indoors most of the time, aside from going out to wave a flag at the Pod Race in The Phantom Menace, so he wouldn't exactly be familiar with all the terrain, aside from all the deserts and whatnot. With that in mind, when he crash lands on Tatooine, he's in the middle of a dessert, and when he is brought to civilization in a windowless sandcrawler. Unless he decides to presume that every dessert planet is Tatooine he will have no idea where he is, as he asks Luke. When he meets Luke, notice that Luke never mentions his last name. Only Luke, and C-3PO only refers to him as Master Luke. When C-3PO asks what planet he's on, he isn't told Tatooine, he's told that "if there's a bright center to the universe, you're on the plant it's farthest from." C-3PO never met Obi-Wan in the trilogy and wouldn't recognize the name, and (and this seems to be the clincher for me)when he is about to see Anakin's lightsaber being given to Luke by Obi Wan, he SHUTS OFF BEFORE SEEING IT. This seems so convenient, I would have sworn that he wouldn't need a memory wipe. And to anyone who says this is a stretch, Chewbacca apparently met Yoda and never mentioned it.
How is it possible that the citizens of Naboo voted for Jar Jar Binks to be their representative in the senate!? Firstly, the Gundum were the lesser race on the planet, and even amongst his people he was considered to be a complete bafoon and was ousted from their civilization! Who would vote for that idiot. The worst part was that he voted for the disolution of the imperial senate. Which of course is preposterous since their Queen, was completely against the bueauracts in the first place. Ridiculous.
I had always thought that the Smurfs weren't just simply communists, but also a hallucination. I believe the Smurfs were just the product of an over-active schitzo immagination concocted by a crazy old man living in the middle of the forrest with just his cat. Gargamel is simply a crazy hermit living in a shack in the woods and imagines these little blue creatures that he for some reason feels the need to consume. This would explain that despite his many attempts he's never been able to eat a smurf nor has he come accross any smurf corpses.
ok, someone needs to back me up here. Radio Flyer. the kid lives. its been suggested that Bobby, the younger brother, actually crashes and dies on the homemade airplane shortly after take off. the whole story of Bobby growing up to travel to world was made up by Elijah Wood/Tom Hanks to deal with the loss of his brother. this has some weight when Tom Hanks tells his two sons at the end of the movie that "thats how i remember it." but come on. the kid makes it. the postcard that the mom receives at the end is proof. they lived in northern California, im pretty sure. its not impossible for Bobby to fly the short distance to Arizona and end up on the buffalo ranch. even if he DID crash shortly after take off, he would have been far enough away that he could have started hitch hiking or moving around on his own without his airplane and was basically a runaway. i refuse to believe that Radio Flyer is a really a story about a man who fabricated an epic coming of age tale to cope with the death of his brother.
My personal nerd theory is that Batman, the Dark Knight INTENTIONALLY has the ridiculous numbers of plot holes and devices as a reflection of the chaos and nihilism that the Joker represents. Things happening off screen (the kidnappings of Dent and Rachel), impossible acts (suturing a cell phone bomb into the guy who would be at the holding cell when he was needed?), the overall chaotic pace of the film, and the stumbling through scene after scene. Rachel gets tossed out of Bruce's apartment window, he goes after her, saves her life, and BANG. ITS THE NEXT DAY. The Joker has all of Gotham's elite, including presumably Harvey Dent in Wayne's apartment being held hostage...and he....LEAVES? There's never any explanation as to how he gets away! I would think that Bruce...KNOWING HIS OWN APARTMENT, could have perhaps locked it down and grabbed the Joker right then! So I'm left with my theory that all of this was intentional!
I'm surprised no one has tackled this yet (or at least I didn't see it above) Where does Prime's Trailer go? The most common theory is subspace. The idea that Prime's trailer, along with various other Transformer parts and weapons is floating around in some alternate existance until it is pulled back into our reality such as when Prime transforms back into truck mode. Actually the real answer is much simpler: transporters. Essentually, certain Transformers like Optimus Prime and Omega Surpreme have built in transporters, perminately connected to the detachable parts of their anatomy. Thus, whenever the living unit goes anywhere, it can send out a signal and transport the rest of the lifeless components to that area. These transporters use a lot of energy, which is why most Transformers only use it for small things like weapons, and it can be harmful to actuall living energy which is why the Transformers' actual life spark must be contained in the unit that is physically travelling to a new location. But it is a useful technology for moving mass that otherwise would have to be constantly and awkwardly carried around all the time. Instead, things can just be left behind and recalled at a later date.
Ok, here goes- Jesus Christ was a vampire. 2020-some years ago, the very first vampire, Jesus Christ became a plague upon the world, causing panic all across the Middle East while seducing, and vampirising, innocents. He claimed to be the Son of God, though in reality he was the opposite- he was the Son of Satan. The "miracles" Jesus performed were at the cost of souls. Healing the sick and the infirmed, or raising a dead/near dead person (Lazarus) are perfect examples. Jesus drank their blood and gave them the gift/curse of an everlasting life in service to Satan. Using these and other "miracles" as proof of his divinity, Jesus began to amass a great number of followers; a flock of sheep from which he could have his pick. Jesus was not a shepherd of men, he was a wolf preying upon them. His reign of terror was finally ended by a group of 12 brave men. The bravest of whom were Peter and Judas Iscariot who infiltrated his inner circle and betrayed him. Jesus allowed himself to be nailed to the cross, knowing he could survive such an ordeal and would emerge that much more powerful in terms of influence. He did not count on, however, Peter disguising himself as a Roman soldier and driving a stake through his heart. To cover up the details (more on that later) historical accounts were changed to refer to a Roman soldier spearing Jesus in the side. After Judas' grisly death (more than likely at the hands of the vampires still loyal to Christ), Peter became the leader of the anti-Christ vampire hunters. This group of 12 (11 now) were the ones who came to protect humanity again three days later when Christ's followers resurrected him in a demonic ritual. After a bloody battle, of which the details have been lost to time, Christ was killed again with a stake through the heart. This time, Peter removed Jesus' head to prevent further resurrections (though the remaining vampires stole his body). Knowing how many human followers had bought into Jesus' tricks, Peter and the others were aware of, ironically, the hope he represented to a depressed populace. To learn that their messiah was actually a demon would crush their hope and their spirit. As such, it was decided to let the myth of Christ as a healer, teacher and Son of God to grow and spread. Peter and the others renamed themselves the Disciples, and they spread the good word that Jesus had falsely preached throughout the land. Unfortunately, unlike in works of fiction, killing the head vampire does not kill those he has converted. The remaining vampires scattered themselves across the globe. Thus the stage was set for the rapid spread of Christianity across the world. The church does not care about whether or not poor African children become Christian when it sends a priest to teach the village about god. The important thing is sending a trained vampire hunter to protect them and keep them from being converted, literally, to evil. The Vampire forces were particularly strong in the 1700s and 1800s, which inspired much vampire related fiction. This also lead to the church releasing details to the public about how to combat vampires. Much of the information they spread was false, but the important thing was that more and more people came to church out of fear; their contributions to the church kept international vampire hunting missions going. In the present day, vampire attacks have become more and more sparse. However, the clergy must remain ever vigilant as we have no idea how many vampires may be biding their time and amassing their forces. They wait for such a time that they are strong enough to launch war against the church, free the head of Jesus from the catacombs of the Vatican and bring their undead master back to plague the earth once more! And that is why the crucifix is the symbol of the catholic church. It's not a celebration of the death of Jesus and the promise of eternal life- it's a warning. "Stay dead Jesus, you remember what happened last time!" note: though I am aware of it, I have never seen Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter. Those filmmakers, so innocent. So naive.
I guess my greatest(worst) nerd theory has to do with Dragonball Z. No matter who I end up discussing DBZ with if that person is not a fan it always ends up the same way," DBZ sucks, Its so slow and takes forever to get anywhere in the story" Having gotten tired of hearing this I started to go into automatic mode explaining how the fighters in DBZ move so fast it is impossible for normal people to view them at this speed so the show is required to slow the fights down to allow the viewers to experience the fights in normal speed.
Wow. The collective lengths of these responses...wow. If the prize comes out today, then my new theory is that Topless Robot is either a time lord or a real robot.
@Wade Vs The World. I thought that applied to people in general.
My nerd theory relates not to any show, movie, book or video games but to the actual nerds. They all have an ingrained character trait to believe what they think is true is the one and only truth. I ask you all this. Have you ever heard a nerd concede during a nerd argument? Even when someone has clearly and concisely pointed out how incorrect they are.....nope its never happened.
My nerd theory relates to fringe. Although it has been apparently proved wrong. But I still really liked it, as did several other fans of the show that I told it too. POSSIBLE FRINGE SPOILERS AHEAD!!! Walter Bishop and William Bell are the same man William Bell was a divergent personality that Walter created due to guilt over the treatment of child test subjects. Thus when something inappropriate was being done the William persona was active, Walter dormant. Same Initials same basic scientific ability. William has been "Missing" since around the time Walter was released from the Instituion. This makes sense of how Walter almost always knows exactly what is the cause of the situation and it just happened to involve something he was a part of or something he theorized years in the past. This also gives a reasoning to his constant willingness to use Oliva in further experiments. Since that's what she was for him to begin with years before. It also serves as an oppurtunity for the William persona to be aware of what she remembers, so as to prevent her from exposing him. Well thats the basics of my theory It didn't get to develop further for obvious reasons which watchers of the show are aware of.
@Zidel333 @Nameless @anyone else I was bitchy to: Sorry for being a dick. I've been in a bitchy mood all weekend due to shit going on in my personal life and having to revisit some horrible memories from my past and although I maintain I am in the right as far as the Doctor Who facts go, I was in the wrong about the way I argued about it. Sorry to everyone for being an asshole, I shouldn't have let my bad mood affect my actions on here.
@Liz: That's related to my overall theory of artistic inspiration which I didn't list because it's not a nerdy theory per se. My theory is that all stories are true in one reality or another and are just pulsing through across 7th dimensional lines to cross over into creators' brains. But anyway... sorry for making you feel bad about it, I've just been in a really bitchy mood all weekend and when I saw something so obviously wrong, it set me off. I've admitted a couple times already to acting like a dick about it... @telezombie: I like that a lot. Seems like Lucas may indeed have been hinting about that. Either that or Palpatine was lying out his ass and had been telegraphing the fear of Padme's death so he could lure Anakin under his wing and make it a self-fulfilling prophecy... or a little of both. I think I like the little of both thing. Palpatine creates Anakin, influences Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan to find him and bring him to Coruscant, has Darth Maul kill Qui-Gon and sacrifice himself to Obi-Wan to get Kenobi to insist on training Anakin in his master's memory, then projects the idea of Padme dying to Anakin and pulls him over to the Dark Side with the idea of saving her only to trick the young Skywalker into making it a self-fulfilling prophecy to make him hate the Jedi and turn fully into a Sith... Hell, that idea alone makes the prequel trilogy about 40% more watchable... Almost like Lucas had a plan all along.
There are some really crazy theories here. My limited imagination could not come up with anything like this but I'll try one out. My theory deals with the X-Men. Jean Grey is not really dead. She has just had her consciousness transferred into Emma's body. How else would Scott go with her since she is the slut of the X-Universe. If Scott was really being faithful to Jean, he would not be with Emma. The only reason I can think of it is that Jean is now in Emma.
My theory is that comic books are real but exist in another dimension and The Joker (from the comics) again stole Myxlplyx's powers, came to our dimension and killed Heath Ledger for changing his look and upstaging him.
my theory involves the story that palpatine told anakin during that horrible space opera with all the bubbles. It involved Darth Plagueis. During the story palpatine told anakin that this sith lord was believed to have discovered a way to prevent death and possibly create life from nothing. I don't have all my facts straight but after some reading on wookieepedia (a credible source) I read that palpatine was in fact Darth Plagueis apprentice. So my theory is that after palpatine murdered Darth Plagueis he continued his training and eventually found a way to create life. He then set his plan in motion to control the universe by impregnating anakins mother with his newfound power. Anakin was to be the false prophet or distraction if you will so that palpatine could carry out his plans un-noticed. So Palpatine is in fact Anakins father from a certain point of view.
My theory was that Obi-Wan lied to Luke about Owen and Beru Lars. Obi-Wan was merely waiting for the right moment to recruit Luke. Kenobi "frightens" away the sand people and saves Luke. As Luke is knocked out (note they did not kill Luke, though they could easily have), Obi-Wan calls his other tusken raiders, yes, his...he lives in their area for a reason, because he's their leader. While Obi-Wan stalls Luke at his house, Kenobi's sand people murder the Lars couple and attack the sand crawler. Notice that Obi-Wan tells Luke what happened in a manner very much like a Jedi mind trick "Only imperial stormtroopers are so precise". Having eliminated Luke's ties to Tatootine and convinced him that the Empire is evil, Obi-Wan can get Luke to do whatever he wants. It all leads to Obi-Wan's telegraphed "defeat" by Vader, clearly staged at just the right moment so Luke can see Kenobi's "heroic" death. After that, Luke is willing to committ mass murder by blowing up the Death Star, which he later does. Obi-Wan was a liar, a manipulator and a murderer.
I've always thought that White Wolf (publishers of RPGs such as Vampire: the Masquerade and Werewolf: the Oblivion) chickened out of what really should have been the end of the original World of Darkness. WWs' releases from Kindred of the East and Hunter: the Reckoning were clearly geared towards the coming of the sixth age and the final battle between good and evil. Somehow WW did address this on their Time of Judgement series, but did so in a line-per-line way (each line got their own separate book/section), no final realization of the true nature of reality, and the final team-up between the different factions in each "race" (Vamps, Weres, Mages, etc). I guess that dealing with the truly Big Questions got too hot for WW (see Demon: the Fallen), and the hate for the Metaplot that WW's editor had been building up are the reasons why the New World of Darkness has no real solid ground regarding setting: no origins for vamps, no functional consensual reality for Mages; sadly, I would have loved to see the fall of the WoD into the Sixth World and the great battle between factions.
My theory, the one that I secretly, half-heartedly believe (and yes, I understand how absolutely cracked out this is, and only whip it out online/when drunk) is that Doctor Who is actually happening in a parallel universe, and that certain people (Sydney Newman, RTD, etc.) act as 'conduits' through which the stories are channeled and broadcast as fiction in our universe. Sort of like Galaxy Quest in reverse, but with psychic powers involved. It explains why the series has been running so long (some would say against all odds) and why people are willing to continue to tell the Doctor's story year after year after year. The conduits aren't perfect-each one only receives the bare bones of the story, then adds their own personal touches and preferences. For example, RTD adjusted the story to give Rose a much bigger part (i.e. her constant references during Season 3.) The reason I love this theory is because it explains away all plot holes, all the nonsensical science (the writers couldn't understand the science which REALLY saved the day in any number of episodes, so they just made up some stuff), all OOC moments (it's just the writers adding on their personal touches!) and the gap between Seven and Nine (it was the Time War, natch! No psychic energy could pass through!) It's also completely fucking psychotic. Also, I feel bad because it's a Who theory, and other Who fans have been totally trolling the board.
So, I've been debating posting this all weekend.. Partly because I know I will never live this down, and partly because I fear that a Government agent will knock on my dorm room door within the next 24 hours. I really want a TR T-Shirt though.. So.. I think Digimon are real. I always have. It wasn't until I befriended a man who is essentially a less caricatured version of Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, that I had some bizarre reasoning to support such a claim. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the third season of Digimon, "Digimon Tamers," it was for the most part written and directed by Chiaki J. Konaka. Who was behind the anime "Serial Experiments Lain." Digimon Season Three is essentially a much more kid friendly version of Lain. Digimon Tamers takes place in the "real" world, where kids all watch the original Digimon series on TV and play the games and shit.. My friend and I had found a website that translated Konaka's notes for creating Tamers. Pretty much everything in the show is scientifically sound by some theory or another. So we ended up hypothesizing that Digimon are actually real, and the cartoons were created in an effort to trivialize any conspiracy theories that would argue such a thing. The two of us had our fair share of moments akin to Mr. Crocker from Fairly Oddparents.. We would take photos of any strange foot prints we found and have them analyzed by professional trackers.. We went around measuring the electro magnetic fields in the area. We sat around entire nights training artificial intelligence programs.. We even set bait up on occasion and waited with binoculars.. Which resulted in a lot of happy deer.. I did a power point presentation in my 8th grade science class on the subject. I never once used the word Digimon. I brought up how Deep Blue defeated World Chess Champion Garry Kaparov in 1997. I explained how artificial intelligence could gain personalities based on certain files encountered on the internet. I talked about how a digital entity could take on a corporal form by learning how to rearrange molecules in the atmosphere. When I got my grade the comment the teacher made was "Sounds like Digimon." That was a bit embarrassing but hey, an A is an A. I've come up with a million more plausible explanations.. However, like Fox Maulder, I want to believe.
I already won mine (for something related to Doctor Who, actually), so I'm good. I only submitted my outdated and disproven Matrix theory for a potential runner-up spot.
My nerd theory? Best way to win a Nerd Theory Contest is to disregard all contest rules, and pretend it's a forum to continue your nerd theory ideas. If Rob was any kind of benevolent dictator, all the Whovian fans who took over the contest deserve t-shirts.
@Lincolparadox: It started as a metaphor, but you're right, I turned it into an analogy by refering to it as a metaphor. My mistake.
@Tyler-- I really like your Castle theory. I just wish there were stronger creative links to back it up. Anyone from Dollhouse as a writer or producer would be cool, but right now it has more links to Numb3rs or Dark Angel. @The Man With Two Brains "The Man With Two Brains said: @Nameless: To use a metaphor, I'm telling you about buildings and you're nitpicking about colours." Technically, that's an analogy, not a metaphor. Analogies can be metaphorical, but they are not metaphors themselves.
I believe the Joker is a tulpa created from Bruce Wayne's mind. He's a personification of senseless crime, the seeds of which had been planted the moment Joe Chill pulled the trigger on his parents for no real reason. This is why the Joker has no identifiable human characteristics, and can never be truly caught or cured. So long as there is a Batman, there will be a Joker. By extension, it could be said that all of the Joker's victims are indirectly Batman's victims, as well. But Batman can't help it. He's insane. If it were not for the Joker, Bruce Wayne would be smearing on face paint instead of wearing armor.
This theory of mine came about after playing RPGs like Chrono Trigger. Chrono Trigger was most famous for allowing the player to restart a game with all the foreknowledge and experience of the original playthrough, which was called "New Game Plus." So I came up with the idea that, once we die, we experience "New Life Plus." You pretty much live your life again from the very beginning, only this time you have knowledge of what you experienced before hand. Of course, you wouldn't be able to remember EVERYTHING (can you really recall every single thing that's happened in your life), but you'd have a sense of familiarity, especially the closer you got to events. Also, even though you'd have knowledge of HOW to do things, you wouldn't be able to do them unless your body was capable of doing those things (you can't walk or talk as an infant until your body develops into it). Of course, with knowledge and experience comes the ability to change and alter things and thus deal with new consequences. Also, no one else in your "new life" experiences "New Life Plus," at least as you can perceive it. Everyone else goes on living unless you alter things, and also adjust accordingly, but not as if they are as conscious of the changes as you are. Sure, this also pretty much takes the concept of "Groundhogs Day" to a much larger scale, but hey, it's no worse than any other "theory" of the afterlife.
Ok, here's my balance to the force theory The Balance of the force is the elimination of the Sith and the Jedi, and to have Force users who are capable of using both sides of the force. Annakin did this in episode 6, Luke did this in the expanded universe "Dark Empire" comics. Since the Force is supposed to be this natural thing It's this balance of good and evil , light and dark, that is a part of nature. Even Yoda appears to have discovered a part of this by episode 5: "Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes." But where Yoda is of the old school he doesn't fully believe that one can master both the light and dark sides of the force, just a dyed in black Sith can't see the benefit of using the light side of the force. So basically the force is the force, a quasi -magical field that some genetically gifted people can tap into. It neither evil nor good, just like fire is neither evil or good. A fire can keep you warm or cook your food, or it can burn a city to the ground. Its all how you use it that matters.
@Ophenix: It's not Trolling, it's a heated debate.
Yo, Who geeks, NO ONE CARES. Stop trolling the blog...
That's not to mention the fact that in the movie, the character Doctor Who was born on Earth, and actually has the last name "Who" unlike 10-2 who was accidentally created in a TARDIS orbiting a star, and is NOT named Who, but would most likely adopt either the name 'Smith' (like his common psuedonym) or take Rose's last name of 'Tyler'. (see point a) Along with that, the TARDIS in the movie was newly invented, yet the movie was taking place in the 1960s at its start, not the early 2000s like when Rose and 10-2 are left at Bad Wolf Bay. (see point b, and the newly created point d for the chronological discrepancy) Point 'e' would add that the Peter Cushing character Doctor Who looks nothing like David Tenant's 10-2 and the Doctor stated that his doppelganger would NOT regenerate, but would grow old and die. He'd need to regenerate to fit the massive change in appearance. To add to point 'c', the Doctor, with his memories clearly intact, would recognize Skaro in the movies and as such be prepared for what he were in for if indeed they were, as you so illogically and nonsensically claim, the same man.
@Nameless: Watch Journey's End again. It SPECIFICALLY shows that 10-2's memories DO NOT GET WIPED. Doctor Who DOES NOT KNOW OF THE DALEKS BEFORE MEETING THEM. As such, they are CLEARLY NOT the same person.
@The Man With Two Brains (Sigh) Read this again. This is important. Carefully this time... nowhere, and at no point did I mention that this was canon. It was presented from the first as a fun nerd theory, linking two completely disparate continuities, never as fact. You can believe what you wish. I never said it did fit canon. Or would. Note the word 'theory' here. Also a) It's two different people, get over it. The Doctor 10-2 cannot be Doctor Who because Doctor Who was HUMAN, 100% HUMAN. Sorry. Never, at any point, does either 60's movie state that 'Dr Who' was 100% human. That is canon within the movie series. If you know where this is contradicted in the movies, please tell me, and I'll check on my DVD. Sorry, it just doesn't. Get over it. b) TARDISes can't be built in canon, they have to be grown, and if Doctor 10-2 wanted a TARDIS, he'd figure out how to grow one, he wouldn't build it. Just because (in The Impossible Planet) the Doctor stated that TARDISes where grown, not built, does not mean that someone could not build something similar and CALL it (a) TARDIS. Which is what the movie Dr. Who did. The Daleks also have dimensionally transcendental technology in their time machines (The Chase and also The Evil of the Daleks). These, in canon, have never been stated as being grown, not built. c) Doctor-Donna was a HUMAN with Timelord knowledge, so it had to be wiped. 10-2 WAS NOT wiped, and he remained HALF TIMELORD (see point 'a'). Then again, '10-2' was not a full Time Lord. Half-HUMAN. Also, you don't need to resort to such language. The real test of maturity is learning how to express yourself without resorting to swearing. Thank you and good night.
@ dr who fan drama people I beleive Dr Who is right in the middle of the graph in the Law of Fan Jackassery http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheLawOfFanJackassery
The Sorceress wants to rule Eternia. She's been planning it for years. -When the Council of Elders disappeared, their 'Powers' were given to the Sorceress to Protect. She was already guarding them within Greyskull. -She helped Man-at-Arms to keep the forces of evil on the dark hemisphere with the 'Mystic Wall'. -Randor was made King of Eternia because he was the one who drove the evil Keldor away. (Sorceress warned Randor about possible threats and the arrival of a Hero.) -The wall 'fails' and Adam is forced to become He-Man (Eternia's Superman, yet he is forced to keep his ID secret.) -Adam cannot tell anyone his secret (because it would put his loved ones in danger or so the Sorceress told him...) Bullshit! Adam and his Family ARE Skeletor's prime target. (and Castle Greyskull.) She just doesn't want the rest of Eternia's sub-kingdoms rebelling against the main Kingdom of Eternos. -Teela is the Sorceress' clone. (She's planning ahead.) If her body does grow old, she's got a new one and placed in close contact with her pawn, The crown Prince of Eternos.If Teela can't charm the young prince, she'll rule Eternia by force (guiding Adam/He-Man towards her goal.) -Adam needs to summon the Power of Greyskull in order to become He-Man. Who is the guardian of the Power? Sorceress. Not only that, but Adam MUST keep the 'cowardly and useless prince' charade in order to protect He-Man's secret. In case the fall of Randor ever happens, the public's suspicion would be thrown to Adam. The Sorceress would prove Adam's innocence, but fearing anarchy a neutral party should take control of Eternia, like say... The Hero that hails from Castle Greyskull... He-Man... (not really He-Man but a 'Faker'controlled by the Sorceress...) (Man-at-Arms and Orko would have to be dealt with swiflty and efficiently in order to avoid complications.) Adam (after being 'traned' by the Sorceress) would become King. Adam will be cleared of all charcges and he'll choose Teela (who will discover that the Sorceress is her 'mother' and The Sorceress would 'die'after merging her spirit with Teela's body.) as his queen, thus combining Eternos and Greyskull into one Kingdom. -The only threat to her would be Hordak. That's why she allowed Adora (the only other person who could be used as a pawn) to be taken. On Etheria Hordak took over the world swiftly and was planning on Returning to Eternia. Why would Sorceress send Adam with the Sword of Protection to Etheria? (It was not to recover the long lost Eternian princes.) She needed a pawn to distract Hordak from coming to Eternia. That's why Adora got better powers than Adam. (Skeletor is a pansy that even 'Burger King' Randor could take care of.) -Earlier I mentioned having Adam and Teela becoming the next leaders of Eternia. THe Sorceress needs Adam's bloodline becuase it can Harness the Power of Greyskull. Combining her DNA with Adam's, the future child shall be the ultimate being. (The Sorceress would discard her Teela body, once the child of Adam and Teela reaches a certain age and obtain ULTIMTE POWER... Full control of the Power of Greyskull, the knowledge on how to use it and, next in line to the throne of Eternia...)
The reason the T-Virus must still be out there, out of Raccoon City, is because of the crows. The zombies maintained basic motor controls, such as walking, and knowing when to approach (and subsequently eat) food. The Raccoon City incident occurred in September, 1998. This is close to migration, therefore crows must've left the city, still holding the t-virus in their body. A peck or two, a zombie few. This will open the way for the latest installment of Resident Evil, and not some piece of shit Gears of War remake where they kill off the most badass character in the franchise, assholes.
When I was still posting on a Harry Potter forum, waiting for OotP, I had a theory, mostly to mock the outrageous, unfunded theories that were flying about. This theory states that HAGRID ISN'T REAL. Mind you, not in a Tyler Durden or Donny Kerabatsos way, he really exists But he has been created by a young but powerful Tom Riddle as the ideal scapegoat for when he starts opening up the chamber of secrets. Hagrid seems ideally 'made' to have been the one to open the chamber: half-giant (unthrustworthy); likes huge, dangerous animals; can handle these dangerous animals;... He's not very bright and pretty big, because that fits in great with the 'giant' backstory, but also because creating an entire human, that can believably pass off, is easier if he's bigger (like Frankenstein's monster) He was 'made' a year before he would go to Hogwarts, a period in which Tom Riddle was already powerful, but still looking for the chamber His parents are not around anymore. His 'father', a small man who probably, like all wizards, kept to his own, never existed, that's why he died just before Hagrid went to Hogwarts. His mother, an unnamed giant, is conveniently not around anymore. Hagrid himself doesn't know about this, he really has those childhood memories. Tom Riddle has fooled everyone into thinking he exists, and has existed for 11 years. Everyone, except for one man: Dumbledore. Tom Had originally intended for Hagrid to be sent off school and vanish into obscurity and just cease to exist. But Dumbledore wouldn't let that happen: he had figured out what Hagrid was, and out of respect for everything alive (even if they're not really real), he kept him going. He hired Hagrid as a gamekeeper and let him stay, believing this extraordinary (although tick) man could be a good ally. This would be a major reveal in one of the later books, because Hagrid, who had until then been the kindhearted buffoon, would suddenly turn on Harry under the influence of Voldemort, because he can control him. Another theory I like, but which isn't really that nerdy, is that Paul McCartney is dead, leaving Ringo as the only surviving Beatle. This is just the most outrageous theory I've ever heard (also, because most theories about singers say they're actually alive), but they've actually got some great stuff to back it up. There are supposed to be several 'clues' in their lyrics and artwork. But the best 'evidence' to me is that after the beatles had split up, John Lennon made some amazing stuff. And what did the other creative genius behind the beatles make? Right...
@Toplessnerd: Yeah, whoever wrote it is quite dedicated. Joseph, however, states at the beginning of his comment that it's NOT HIS THEORY and that he was just quoting it for us.
@Nameless: To use a metaphor, I'm telling you about buildings and you're nitpicking about colours. a) It's two different people, get over it. The Doctor 10-2 cannot be Doctor Who because Doctor Who was HUMAN, 100% HUMAN. Sorry. b) TARDISes can't be built in canon, they have to be grown, and if Doctor 10-2 wanted a TARDIS, he'd figure out how to grow one, he wouldn't build it. c) Doctor-Donna was a HUMAN with Timelord knowledge, so it had to be wiped. 10-2 WAS NOT wiped, and he remained HALF TIMELORD (see point 'a'). Believe whatever the fuck you want to believe, but it doesn't fit canon. Period. Get the fuck over it.
My theory is that Fraggle Rock is actually a metaphor for Marxism. Think about it: You have the Doozers who represent the working class who's work is literally fed upon by the Fraggles, frivolous and foolish creatures who represent the bourgeoisie. They in turn are preyed upon by the Giants who represent the Ruling classes (Note one wears a crown and the believe they're the centre of the universe). The Final kicker is the oracular trash-heap, a rubbish religion attended to by priestly rats… Think about it!
I just copied and pasted Joseph's entry into MS Word. Font 12: 14 pages, 4543 words, 49 paragraphs, 20824 characters, not including spaces. That's dedicated.
Ever seen the show Castle? My favorite nerd theory explains how Rick Castle's daughter is so unbelievably perfect. I mean, she is a A+ student, does her chores/homework in advance, has a dorky, harmless boyfriend, always gets home 10 o'clock, and she loves, loves, loves her father and only wants his approval. The one time she lied it was about something ridiculously small, and she even fessed up to it when no one would have ever found out. The guilt was killing her! I keep waiting to see a dark side: drug use, murders, Fan Fiction Friday submissions... but nothing; there's nothing! She IS PERFECT. How? Simple. SHE IS A DOLL. RICK CASTLE'S REAL DAUGHTER DIED IN A CAR WRECK/FIRE YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS AGO, AND THE RICH/FAMOUS/CONNECTED LOS ANGELOS CRIME AUTHOR BOUGHT HIMSELF A NEW ACTIVE REPLACEMENT DAUGHTER FROM THE LA DOLLHOUSE! Now I'm waiting for her to say "Did I fall asleep?" or "There are 3 flowers in a vase" or some crazy shit like that.
After the disappointment that was Superman Returns was released, I had a theory that made the whole "Superman has a kid with Lois" thing more palpable. About a year or two after the death of Superman in the comics, there was a storyline called "Dead Again," where *spoilers* Brainiac made the whole of Metropolis (and the world) believe that Superman's corpse was still in the casket, throwing doubt to Superman being the real deal. This, I thought, could end up explaining away the super-child in a Superman sequel. We would introduce Brainiac in the sequel as an alien life form that collects information. He is obsessed, especially, with the last vestiges of long-dead societies, so he is especially interested in the last Kryptonian. As a means of getting to him, he sees how he cares for Lois and creates the visage of Lois' son. When Superman returns from space, he adapts and takes on some super-strength so Lois believes it is Superman's kid. She takes it in stride because Brainiac makes her OK with it. Otherwise, I think anyone's reaction would be, "When did you rape me, Superman?" The first half of the movie has Superman battling a minor villain, maybe Metallo, while he starts to get closer to what he now believes to be his son. Just as Superman begins to accept the kid as his own, maybe starts to spend some time with him, the child grows into his actual form of a green alien with a pink golf shirt and shorts (or maybe something more acceptable for a movie in the 21st Century), pulling at the heartstrings of the Man of Steel as he now has to face off against the being he originally thought to be his son. Superman, of course, finally defeats Brainiac, but now there's no child and the defeat of Brainiac also ends up ruining the marriage between Lois and Richard. Now, everything is back to the status quo and we can have a Superman movie where he can actually punch things. Now that it looks like Team Singer is off a Super-sequel, my theory is kind of moot, but I think it could have been a pretty fun ride. Having read some of the other theories here, though, a lot of them are a helluva lot better than mine, but I figured I'd throw this out there.
The Man With Two Brains said: a) Doctor 10-2 is HALF-human, Doctor Who is 100% human So, that prevents '10-2' from pro-creation with Rose? Time Lords and humans are biologically compatible. Remember that in the Fox TV movie that the Doctor was half human, the result of a Time Lord father and human mother. Like it or not, that TV movie is canon and a flashback of Paul McGann appeared during The Next Doctor and also as a picture in Family of Blood (in his Book of Impossible Things), which places the McGann Eighth Doctor firmly in continuity. The 60's movies also never specifically stated that the Peter Cushing 'Dr. Who' wasn't half alien. Believe me, I own it on DVD. b) TARDISes in canon are actual living constructs while the 60s movie TARDIS is an artificial construct So a TARDIS was built, rather than grown. Your point is…? c) Doctor Who started that movie with NO knowledge of Daleks while 10-2 knows all about them You mentioned that you've seen Journey's End. Please tell us exactly why Donna had to have her mind wiped again? Oh, yes. Her human biology was unable to cope with the increase in intellect, the sheer amount of knowledge and the Time Lord consciousness overwhelming her. I postulated that for these same reasons, the MCD would have had to have his mind wiped, too. Also, don't you think that the real Doctor would want to do something about someone with rather dangerous scientific knowledge in his head who had no qualms whatsoever about committing genocide? And in his name, too? Too right he would have done something to reign him in apart from asking Rose to keep an eye on him. Finally, nowhere, and at not point did I mention that this was canon. It was presented from the first as a fun nerd theory, linking to completely disparate continuities, never as fact. The only person taking it seriously was you.
I think that nerd fights on the internet end the same way they ended in high school. Whole lotta ineffectual slapping and somebody going home crying.
This whole Dr. Who argument has me thinking, man... Who thinks there should be a contest of people stating what kind of nerd(s) they are and what kind of nerd(s) that they think they are superior to. For instance, I like Star Wars and Star Trek in that order, but I feel I'm superior to those who think that everyone and their brother should know every bit of nonsense that happens in the extended universes of those shows.
@The Man With Two Brains: "And know what, I think I will apologize just to end this nonsense. Sorry I called you guys idiots. I should've said "IGNORANT!" since that would've been accurate, but now you know." You shouldn't be calling these people anything. It's none of your business whether their theory fits into canon or not. You're not some kind of masked crusader fighting the tyrany of innacuracy.
@Adam should win just for bringing Wizard of Oz into this nerd fight.
See what I figure will happen at the end of Smallville that Clark will finally wear a costume. Yes he is the first red Ranger. Or maybe Batman? Green Lantern? I dunno he hasn't made it to the point of where he wears a costume so I forget who is supposed to be. The Lone Ranger? Fuck! Who is he supposed to be?
@D-340: You'd be surprised by the number of people I've come across that said the same thing as your joke and WEREN'T kidding around. After the 10th time, I stopped assuming that people are kidding when they say that sort of thing...
@John: Nothing says that that theory couldn't be true. I prefer to think that "Heart of Darkness" is part literal and part hallucination, but... @Zidel333: Ugh, I wasn't going to say any more about it but: a) Doctor 10-2 is HALF-human, Doctor Who is 100% human, b) TARDISes in canon are actual living constructs while the 60s movie TARDIS is an artificial construct, c) Doctor Who started that movie with NO knowledge of Daleks while 10-2 knows all about them, I'm leaving it with an 'etc.' because I don't feel like I should have to name off the dozen or so additional reasons after that. Suffice to say, there's no way it's possible and had you done but a few minutes of research on the 1965 movie, you'd know the three details I listed about it. And know what, I think I will apologize just to end this nonsense. Sorry I called you guys idiots. I should've said "IGNORANT!" since that would've been accurate, but now you know.
The Man With Two Brains said: @D-340: Ahem. Asimov's three LAWS of Robotics haven't been programmed into reality since there's not advanced enough AI out there TO program them into! The Asimov bit was obviously(and in your case, not so obviously) a joke. Thanks for making me state the obvious, thus ruining said joke. Hoo-frickin'-ray for you!
In Giant Robo, there's a lot of talk about believing in yourself, and Giant Robo seems to respond more or less to how much spirit its owner, Daisaku, has at any given moment. Where else have we seen giant robots that require pilots believe in themselves, and are powered by fighting spirit and awesomeness? That's right. Giant Robo is the first tiny step into the world of Spiral Power. Someday not long after the end of the series, the Anti-Spirals are going to deliver a heck of a smackdown, and Spiral King Lordgenome is going to build his giant city on the Bashtarle itself, just because it'd be awesome. And isn't that what it's all about?
John, that is IDIOTIC. If you did 3 and a half minutes of research on the film Jacob's Ladder you'll see how unbelieveably dunderheaded and lazy this theory is! There is absolutely ZERO way that could be the case. End of story! No NO NO! WRONG! THANKS FOR PLAYING!
I don't know if this counts because I did not originate this theory or that I guess its been proven wrong since but at the time, I was a fierce defender of it. It was before "The Deathly Hollows" was released and everyone had theories on what was the next reveal. Was Snape good or bad? Was Harry a horocrux? Was a major character going to get laid? All interesting topics at the time but one theory had the balls the hang it out there and provide evidence to back it up. Professor Mcgonagall one of the most trusted members of Hogwarts, Order of the Phoenix, and Griffindor, was a Death Eater. The nerd rage was devastating. The origin credit as far as i know goes to PattyBNUChick on the Barnes & Nobel boards so I'll just post the link http://bookclubs.barnesandnoble.com/t5/Harry-Potter/Minerva-McGonagall/td-p/13629 Given the clues in the book and also being able to dismiss the non-believers, it's still one of my favorite nerd theories. (That, and orange soda is a universal constant and should be held to the likes of the speed of light and Pi. Seriously have you ever had a bad orange soda?) Even though it's been proven wrong since the release of Deathly Hollows I'm still convinced that J.K. changed her book in response to us being on to her clever ruse.
Another nerd theory just for luck, and because it is depressing enough to inflict on you. Obviously this all got wiped out by the reboot movie but…the Mirror Universe in Star Trek is the original timeline. We saw in ST: Enterprise that in the Mirror Universe Zephram Cochrane shot the Vulcan in the gut and then he and his fellow ragged survivors stormed the Vulcan ship. Now I had always been a little disbelieving of how welcoming the people of that camp were in ST: First Contact, they had just had the crap shot out of them by the Borg and the only person that started shooting at all these strangers that had appeared right after the attack was Lily? Nobody was seen to walk up to the away team and, hand resting on gun, say "who the **** are you?" But I could assume that Cochrane, despite being so drunk and them not finding him for a while, was impressed enough with Troi he managed to say "No… deese are…er…friends, they was coming to see da Phoenix launch, you knows * hic * " and smooth things over. But (again) throughout ST: First Contact the away team were telling Cochrane more and more about the future, about this glorious peaceful paradise of a Federation. How making first contact changes everything and how wonderful it all becomes. And if you believe the novellisation Doctor Crusher also gives Cochrane some medicine to stabilise his mental condition (some implication that if Cochrane had still been on his meds he'd have not managed to invent warp drive) so he is not (to quote Troi) "nuts" So when Cochrane meets the Vulcan he has been primed for it. He has been told about how great peaceful first contact will be and he perhaps is feeling more mentally stable than he has since world war III cut off his supply of medicine. So he shakes the hand and gives the whisky and the Federation timeline proceeds. Without being exposed to the Enterprise-E away team though? Without being told of the glorious future for mankind? There is Cochrane, he has worked so hard for so many years, he and Lily have scrounged and bartered for scraps of material and against all the odds he has achieved his dream of warp-drive and can sell it and retire to a desert island with naked women. But here are actual ALIENS with a ship that must also be FTL… how much would that ship be worth? The information in the computers, reverse engineering the technology, interrogating any prisoners? Never mind retiring to a desert island he could BUY one! So without Cochrane being influenced by the time travelling Enterprise-E crew… BLAM! And the Terran Empire timeline proceeds. And another theory I reminded myself of by thinking about the Terran Empire. It did not fall because of Kirk influencing Mirror-Spock, it fell because it was technologically stagnant. Consider this, according to ST: Enterprise the Terran Empire got their start when Cochrane shot the Vulcan and took the ship. Mirror-Archer actually says how much they owed the Vulcans and we saw that Mirror-NX-01 had shields rather than just polarised-hull-plating. So there is a fairly weak implication that the Terran Empire was inclined towards reverse-engineering rather than innovation (by contrast innovation, as Gul Dukat said, being the Federation's great strength). But then in the ST: Enterprise mirror universe episode they find the Constitution class U.S.S Defiant (last seen phasing out of existence in ST: TOS "The Tholian Web") has crossed universe and travelled a century back in time. The Tholians had found her but the mirror-NX-01 manages to reach that spacedock (thanks to having a cloaking device) and the landing party led by Commander Archer manage to take the Defiant. Cue much pretty SFX of a Constitution class Starship beating up everything in sight and saving the Terran Empire from the attacking combined enemy fleet. But…and this is the big but… the I.S.S. Enterprise in ST: TOS "Mirror, Mirror" was almost identical to the U.S.S Enterprise. Uniforms were different, there was the sword-and-planet of the Terran Empire on doors, Spock had a goatee, and I don't think the U.S.S. Enterprise had an Agony Booth…but the ship was still apparently a Constitution class ship. Now appearances can be deceptive. The computer I am typing this on still has the same case despite a couple of gut-and-rebuilds, there is a lot of difference under the skin on B-52s from when they first came into service to now, and of course there was the whole Akira-prise thing (where NX-01 looked like the Akira class from a couple of centuries later). It is possible that beneath the panels on the identical looking bridge was more advanced technology, that beneath the plating on the identical looking warp nacelles were more powerful drive-coils… but then again Scotty did seem to be saying the ship was the same. So if the I.S.S. Enterprise was as identical to the U.S.S Enterprise as it seemed what does that say about the Terran Empire? It has been a century since they acquired the U.S.S. Defiant and they are still building identical ships? It would take time to reverse-engineer a ship from a century in the future, but having that ship would still be an advantage. In the time it took Earth as part of the United Federation of Planets (for all but the first several years of the period) to go from building NX class to building Constitution class ships the Terran Empire has gone from having a Constitution class ship to having the Defiant plus some identical copies. Even if the I.S.S Enterprise in "Mirror, Mirror" was over 90 years old (having been built within ten years of them getting the Defiant) even if they did not refit her to the extent seen with the U.S.S Enterprise between ST: TOS and ST: The Motion Picture if they had any technological progress you'd expect some small tweaks of a similar nature to how the U.S.S Enterprise changed between Pike's day (seen in the first pilot) and when Kirk took command. So at some point between TOS and DS9 the enemies of the Terran Empire finally caught up and finally had ships that were equal to the Constitution class. And then they smashed the Empire, perhaps heartened by Mirror-Spock's reforms, which they would regard as being fuelled by fear caused by the change in the balance of power.
In High School, we were discussing The Heart of Darkness and I suggested that Marlow had hallucinated the whole experience while ill ala Jacob's Ladder. His journey was an internal struggle to find fight against the course his life was taking and to find his true self. Everyone looked at me and the teacher chuckled.
The Man With Two Brains: Just because Zidel's theory doesn't work doesn't give you the right to be a dick. This is a thread about nerdy personal theories. He hasn't done himself any favours, but you should apologise to him for being the kind of rude cockgobbling nonce that give us nerds a bad name. He tried to offer you the olive branch, man up and take it! My personal theory is a variant on muggies247's idea. The GI-Joe organisation is not a real military unit (or a form of retirement)... It's valhalla. The Joes are actually the spirits of soldiers who died heroically in battle. Whether this is as a reward for their efforts in life or a form of training for Ragnarok. A conflict that won't be won by firing coloured lasers around willy nilly, where the whole of reality as we know it will be at stake. We just don't know... And knowing is half the battle!
My nerdtheory is that Ophenix posted her "theory" for the sole purpose of provoking Rob into Googling her handle, discovering her shameful activity elsewhere on the internet, and subsequently awarding her the dubious honor of having a FFF devoted to the Final Fantasy rapeslash she writes.
Sorry JM. Our stupid American political correctness bleeds into just about everything.
Oh! I forgot to write, regarding the elves-vulcans theory, that they of course had awesome names like Spockolas! "Would you like some more elvish tea, Mr. Spockolas?" "Yes, I would be delighted, Mrs. Saarwiken. I love elvish tea."
I love this. I love this for many reasons. Let me tell you three. 1) Many of these theories really make sense. It just goes to show that us geeks will find a reason to validate any crappy plot holes in an otherwise good story. 2) Many of these don't make sense. But even when they don't make sense, they're still really awesome. It's like poetry or abstract paintings. Everything is up for interpretation. And 3) While geeks will find any reason to validate their own theory, they will find the littlest reason to contradict another person's theory. I love everyone's theories, but I also love the reasoning behind the arguements against the theory. That is unless you're just calling someone an "idiot." That's not really an arguement. It's just silly. But to everyone else, I can't wait for the last day of theories. This is by far the best contest ever.
Tommy Valentine: I doubt V would be "African-American" though my quibble is with the "American" part since V-for-Vendetta is set in Britain. Location could also be another reason why we don't see any "African-Americans"… Good enough points to make it plausible he could be a "UK resident of Afro-Caribbean origin" though :p (would have said citizen, rather than resident, but that would have been revoked)
@The Man With Two Brains: If there is indeed "TONS of DIRECTLY CONTRADICTORY CANON" about how a Meta-Crisis Doctor couldn't possibly be a Dr Who, please tell us, as the MC Doctor being human and (currently) shacked up with Rose in an alternative universe is the only canon regarding that character, period. At this date (pre Waters of Mars) neither MCD or Rose have been mentioned again. Yet. Everything mentioned is just light-hearted nerd theory, and holds just a much validity as your Matrix views. As mentioned above "...mostly because nerds will go waaaaaay out their way to create a theory to explain away a plot hole or obscure some shitty fact about their favorite series
I believe that Rob is a benevolent and kind nerd god, and that he will not use Lara Croft snuff porn to punish us any longer, and that he might choose me as this random jackass who wins a shirt by just typing random comments on this website.
My theory is that vulcans actually lived on earth long ago, but left for several reasons. What were they called before they leaved their warm and harmonic forest for the cold and hard logic of space? Elves. That's why they are better than humans in every way. :)
The Wizard of Oz (the movie) is actually the story about Glenda the "Good" Witch's machinations to gain total power of land of Oz. Glenda was power hungry and in order to rule the land she needed to destroy the other three magic-users in Oz: The Wizard, the Wicked Witch of the East, and the Wicked Witch of the West. You must ask, how can this be so? Let's go over the story, shall wee. The first thing that happens is Dorothy is magically transported to Oz when her house is picked up by a tornado. Tornadoes happen everyday, but people aren't usually transported to far away lands. So, someone must have created a magical portal and wrapped it up in a tornado to disguise it. Who has the power to control the weather? The only person in the film is Glenda, as shown when she makes it snow to block out the poppies outside the Emerald City. Glenda then drops the house on the Wicked Witch of the East, eliminating her first obstacle to world domination. The victim's sister, the Wicked Witch of the West, shows up trying to claim what is rightfully her's, the ruby slippers. Now, at this point, Glenda and the munchkins are all singing about the Wicked Witch of the East's death and how great Dorothy is for murdering her. Already, Glenda is using her as a patsy. When the Wicked Witch of the West (WWoW for short) tries to claim her late sister's belongings, Glenda gives the shoes the owner's killer. Why? She can't have a "witch killer" running around Oz. She figures she can send Dorothy on a pointless quest where either Dorothy will take out the other two powerful figres of OZ, or the WWoW will kill Dorothy in revenge. So Glenda tells Dorothy that the Wizard of Oz can get her back to Kansas and sends her to the Emerald City knowing full well that the wizard has no power. All of his power is a Technicolor illusion. Glenda wanted to show the truth behind the "great and terrible" Oz without being implicated in the reveal ( just as sh avoided implication in the WWoE's death), just so she'll discredit Oz as a powerful wizard. Now, remember the wizard was not such a great man either. He promises to help Dorothy if she kills the Wicked Witch of the West and return with her broomstick. Neither Glenda nor the Wizard tell Dorothy how to kill the witch, which is with water. Why? Because Glenda doesn't want it getting out how easy it is to kill a witch because then she'd be in danger of a munchkin uprising and the wizard doesn't want Dorothy to survive, because then he'd actually have to use some magic, which he doesn't actually have. Dorothy wouldn't have had a problem killing a witch if someone warned her that "water and witches don't mix". She could have come prepared with a squirt gun or water balloon. Maybe a good amount of spit would have worked. So Dorothy ends up killing the Wicked Witch of the West (Good move keeping a big cauldron of the one item that can kill you right in your house. You don't see Superman keeping Kryptonite on his living room table.) by accident, returns to the Wizard, to find out he doesn't have any powers to help Dorothy's squad, just some novelty items, but offers to give her a ride home. The wizard knows that he has run out of time in Oz, what with the everyone now knowing he's powerless, so he offers to give a ride to Dorothy in his hot air balloon. While she's saying goodbye to her talking lion, straw golem and robot, the balloon gets away (the wizard didn't even have enough power to get back home) and all seems lost. Now when all of Glenda's competition is gone, she tries to look a good person and say "You had the power all along. Just click your heels together three times and say there's no place like home.' Yes, Glenda looks like she saves the day, but let's look at this again. She had the power all along! She didn't need to follow that damn yellow brick road and pick up every loser she met along the way! Dorothy just spent the week fighting fireball tossing witches, chased by flying monkeys, traveling through jungles and fighting apple throwing Ents when she had the power to go home all along! There has to be more to this story. The next thing you'll tell me is that it was all a dream.
I have two geek theories to share. Well, three technically, but they're short. 1) My first involves Fringe. I think that William Bell being played by Leonard Nimoy is not just some cute cameo. I think that William Bell is actually Spock Prime trying to get back to the Prime Star Trek universe. Maybe he's trying to save Vulcan? Maybe he just can't spend the rest of his life as Sylar-Spock's strange uncle? Regardless, he's trying to make it back into his old universe. 2) The next involves Dollhouse. I'm beginning to think that the Dollhouse is actually what remains of Wolfram & Hart, sometime after the Angel finale episode "Not Fade Away." We already have Fred/Illyria, Wesley and Faith. If Gunn, Connor, Spike or Angel shows up, maybe I won't seem so crazy. 3) Granted, I also believe that Seeley Booth in Bones is actually Angel. I feel that adds depth to the character. Oh, and BlindSquirrel, the reason that humans can't produce fertile offspring with chimps, even though we share 98% of our DNA with them, is because of chromosome 2. In humans, chromosome 2 is fused, in chimps it's in two pieces (chromosome 2a and 2b). At the point of fusion is where many of the genes involved in brain development can be found. Now, notice that I said "produce fertile offspring." Humans could mate with chimps and probably produced sterile hybrids at least 25% of the time. Haven't you ever read Congo?
Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader did bring balance to the force by throwing the Emperor down the well. They just didn't think all that crap would go down and it would take his entire 60 year life.
@D-340: Ahem. Asimov's three LAWS of Robotics haven't been programmed into reality since there's not advanced enough AI out there TO program them into!

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