Friday, Nov. 6 2009 @ 8:00AM
 |
You're having people over for a night of dungeon running, or maybe you are having no people over and playing your friends online with some Left 4 Dead. Either way, you are going to need to eat something during this lengthy gaming session, preferably something you can grasp without one hand without looking. More importantly, it must be something that has almost no preparation time, thereby maximizing your game time. Most importantly, it must be horrible for you; full of calories and fats and cholesterol and sugars, with as little actual nutritional value as possible. Why that last part? We're not 100% sure, but it's certainly a rule that gamers aren't going to eat salads during their epic tabletop or online adventures. Here now are a few of the worst things nutritionally -- but the best things emotionally -- to eat while gaming.
10) Nachos
This delicious snack has the special property of being variably unhealthy. Plain nachos and cheese are not that bad health-wise, but you can easily ramp that up, with sour cream, olives, tomatoes sausage chunks, whole slices of pizza, until what you are left with is food goo, not unlike what you might feed to domestic livestock. Perfect for when you might already be in a "farm" mindset for a game of Settlers of Catan.
9) Oreos
You need to bring something to a D&D campaign, and you want something sweet, you usually can't go wrong with Oreos. You can even go and get some non standard mint, strawberry or Double-Stuf Oreos if you want to shake it up, but if you usually slap down a plastic wrapped plastic tray of Oreos on a table, your friends will eat them. Also, they contain 2,400 calories per container so, you know, eating one of these by one's lonesome could be considered "heroic," though going into a diabetic coma over Xbox Live could be one of the worst ways to die as you not only see "The Light" but hear someone shouting "Hey, this fag is sucking dick all over the place!"
8) Beef Jerky
Why have we not yet developed a way to make this snack cheaper? It is delicious pieces of dried meat, yet always costs you an arm and a leg to purchase. They also contain about 600mg of sodium on average, so naturally you may find your organs turning into jerky themselves if you eat enough of it. If further to demonstrate the unhealthiness of these foods, think of a gas station. Are you thinking of jerky? Jerky is synonymous with gasoline. Jerky is also great to use on a 3-D gaming map for those characters unfortunate enough to be killed outright. As a DM all you need to do is replace the character's statue with a piece of dried snackness and say "See that? Dwarf jerky. Anyone want to revive the peppered teriyaki goodness?"
7) Slim Jims
A cousin to jerky, you don't necessarily seek out the Slim Jim, rather it subliminally calls to you as you are purchasing a soda on your way to a gaming session. Get in the car, and suddenly there's a Slim Jim there without you realizing it. It also one of the few things that you know can't be healthy for you without even looking at ingredients on the package, but if you did look, you would see "Mechanically Separated Chicken" as an ingredient. Yes. It sounds like it might be chicken torn apart by a robot with claws for hands, but in reality is just chicken meat turned into a paste-like substance, which looks like this:
Of note: Slim Jims have been out of production since a large explosion at the Slim Jim factory since June 2009, and perhaps only now are returning to acceptable distribution levels, so there are likely to be still plenty on the shelves.
6) Combos
Essentially cooked circular dough with stuff inside, these beauties can run you about 140 calories per serving with 60 of that being fat calories. In a small 1 oz. bag, you can get 7 servings, so if you eat a whole bag, that's 980 calories, with 420 calories of that being fat. They also do sort of taste a lot like whatever the flavor is, from pepperoni pizza to chips and jalapeno pepper, thanks to whatever strange supersience in flavoring they utilize from labs buried deep in the earth. The Combos all have essentially the same shape, which is not unlike a Snausage, the snack for dogs, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. If they marketed "Snausages for Humans" you can bet there would a lot of Combos eaters who would crack a bag of those in a second, even if they just changed the packaging and not the dog treat itself.
5) Pizza Rolls
These snack-sized pizzas in an edible container that are less healthy than a regular slice of pizza are truly the pinnacle of human scientific endeavor. No, seriously, you get a box, you cook about forty of them, sit down and you are set. Maybe with a little ranch dressing on the side or beer to dip these in and you have yourself a good hearty meal. Or, heck, cook several boxes, make a giant mountain of pizza rolls, place a few mountain climbers, a flag at the top, and have your friends over to eat the Mount Everest of snacks!
4) Twinkies
I don't even need to describe Twinkies. You know what these are, cake, with filling and a creepy-long shelf life of 25 days (yes, they do expire) which is because they aren't made with dairy products. That's right, they are a cake without any dairy in them, which should tell you that something unholy is made up of their molecular compounds. Doesn't matter, though does it? Take a box of one of these to a gaming night, and you are a hero. Or screw that, keep the box for yourself, load up some Modern Warfare, and cram Twinkies in your mouth as you shoot - it's not like you're going to get some interesting conversation over Xbox Live anyway.
3) Mountain Dew
There is a reason you can find Halo and World of Warcraft-themed Mountain Dew drinks - it's like the ichors of the Gaming Gods! Yeah, it's got a lot of sugar, which is bad, and the usual carbonic acid, which can eat through your insides, but more importantly it contains Brominated Vegetable Oil. Brominated Vegetable Oil, or BVO is banned in 100 countries. Oh, also in a pure liquid or vapor form, it's deadly. Put it in your Mountain Dew or a number of other citrusy soda drinks and you get that distinctive uniform color to it. It also has it side effects such as memory loss, violent tendencies, acute irritability, tremors, confusion, loss of peripheral vision, slurred speech, stupor, erratic reflexes, and so on and so forth of awful. You do have to drink about 353 12-ounce cans of soda per day for 42 days to have any kind of detectible chemical buildup, which some gamers may call "cutting back."
2) Donuts
Who does not like a donut? It's about the worst thing you could eat. You may think that because it has dough in it that perhaps you are getting some nutrition, but you aren't thinking. A donut, whether it be cakey or Krispy, has about no nutritional value whatsoever. It's got nothing but fat, sugar, and carbohydrates in portions so large it may as well be "The Sam's Club of Unhealthy." However, like cigarettes, it may be the unhealthyness that draws us to it. Also, it is one of the few foods you can buy a box of, bring it to a friend's house and only your most picky of bitch friends will not find something they like.
1) Huge Piles of Candy
One advantage of being old enough to buy candy is that you can buy candy any time you want. This being America, you can get bags of easy-to-consume candy in enormous sizes. Never mind your insulin, you've got a giant plastic bowl to fill with Skittles, Reese's Pieces, M&Ms (all varities), Jolly Ranchers, Gummi Bears, Mike and Ikes, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, King Size Snickers Bars, and sugar cubes covered in powdered sugar. Go ahead! Go wild! It's not like with your sedentary lifestyle you're going to start losing weight anytime soon, unless you are using the Wii, in which case, you're not really gaming.
103 comments
Comments
Monkey boy said:
Great list. I'm not even a gamer, but it made me chuckle and that's the important thing.
CaptainLakitu said:
I used to eat Hershey bars like crazy when my friend and I would play Secret of Mana or Smash Bros. Also, you forgot the liquor that goes WITH the mountain dew.. that always makes for good Wii tennis and Mario Kart.
Zeno said:
TR just got 100 times cooler in my mind simply for referencing The Settlers of Catan, which is my favorite board game of all time. I'll have to try the nachos thing...
Beppo said:
Pop tarts are good too. You can eat them raw or cooked, depending on your needs.
Mr.Eff said:
What, no red bull?
doc_ock_4mugen said:
Wow... I feel pretty sad... I've gone through the entire list and had memories from Chrono Trigger, FF6, FF7,Xenogears, and Suikoden I&II...
The only thing missing are the Goldfish Crackers and Chex Mix...
Wonder Pigeon said:
That seperated chicken is the most disurbing thing I have ever seen on Topless Robot, more disturbing than any FFF.
Elektrizitat said:
Dooooritoooos nom nom nom
Wesley said:
I can't believe this even required a list. Common sense, or that episode of "The Simpsons" where Homer becomes obese, would tell you that long periods of sitting and eating snack crap is bad for you.
And now there are "gamer snacks" specifically marketed toward table top and video gamers? Why would these industries be interested in killing their own base?
My D&D group meets on Saturday morning and we have a lunch break. That avoids the whole "nighttime munchies" syndrome.
Frito said:
I've actually had turkey jerky recommended as a health food. If you get the higher quality low sodium stuff then all the protein can be good for you.
I also used to have a roommate that lived off Ramen and reverse Oreos (the one's with chocolate in the middle). He was skinny as a rail but I think his poor diet definitely contributed to his crippling depression.
Patracolos said:
Is the seperated chicken what made you throw up in your mouth? Cause it kind of looks like bubble gum to me.
I have to say as an adult i go for the appetizers in the frozen food isle more than pizza rolls and stuff, you know crab rangoon, those spinach and cheese greek pastries, and scallops wrapped in bacon dipped in maple syrup, mmmmmm.
demoncat said:
nice list proving that when one needs some quick energy or want something that needs no prep time the stuff on the list works though surprised to see twinkies in the top five would have thought they would rank at least three. as for slim jims would have had them down at ten. or off the list for to me those things are bad tasting not to mention the snap into one commericals
Abraxas said:
now that's a list I can sink my teeth into :9 I'd rank the jerky/slim jim a bit higher but that's just nitpickery. there's nothing like mechanically seperated meat, yum yum! in my book these are all on equal footing anyway it's just a matter of which you want to stuff your face with first.
wil said:
Man, I am so jealous of Americans after reading this list. I don't even know what half of them are, but they look amazing!
Mr. Sanders said:
Oh my gosh.. the fact that PILES OF CANDY is the worst thing on this list just feels wrong. I mean I do admit I hit the stores like everyone else to get deals on candy post Halloween and wind up buying a lot more than i need and eating way too much but for some reason I feel like a whole bag of oreos and mountain is much worse for you.
Mr. Sanders said:
I say that because NO GAMER only eats these snacks by themselves they always have some sort of drink with them, and it's usually either a Liter or a gallon.
Dork Loser said:
This list could have been double its size, but it works. It's interesting that when my game store stocks healthy snacks they're always gone the same day. Also, some brilliant person opened a store that sells mostly deep fried foods right next door. I'm sure the gamers alone pay their expenses four times over.
mythbri said:
Slim Jims are disgusting. I don't need a picture of separated chicken to tell me that - have you ever squeezed one? That was enough for me to swear them off for life.
THE PR0F3550R said:
@Elektrizitat
Yes Doritos and just about any unhealthy chips and dip combo like salsa & tostitos. I'm surprise chips and dip weren't on the list.
Donuts encompasses much.
Twinkies is too specific and I really don't know gamers who are Twinky junkies. I think if you had just put a list of crap pastries (like candy in general at #1) including Hostess and Little Debbie junk.
It just seems inconsistent between specifics like Slim-Jims, Mountain Dew, and Twinkies mix-matched with generic categories like beef jerky, donuts, and candy.
My list:
10: Beer
9: Dried Nuts
peanuts, cashew, mixed nuts, etc.
8: Dried Meats
beef jerky, slim jims, etc.
7: Cookies/Crackers
Oreos, Animal Crackers, Chocolate Chip, Milanos, etc.
6: Crap Snack Pastries
Little Debbie junk, Hostess junk, Entenmann's junk, etc.
5: Chips (and dip)
Kettle Potato Chips, Corn chips, Doritos, Tostitos, Cheetos, Comboes, ranch dip, salsa, cheese dip, etc.
4: Soda
Coke, Mountain Dew, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Sprite, Orange Crush, etc.
3: Microwave/Mini Toaster Heat 'em ups
Mac N' Cheese, nachos, Hotpockets, Pizza Rolls, Pizza Bagel, Frozen Pizza, Taquitos, Mexican stuff, indian dishes, White Castle burgers, french toast sticks, chicken wings, pop-tarts, etc.
2: Take-out/Delivery
Chinese, Indian, Pizza, donuts, etc.
1: Candy and Chocolates
Peanut Butter Cups, Twizzlers, Snickers, etc.
Meh! said:
I always thought Beef Jerky is only expensive in europe. Good to know that you share our pain.
Bruce the Spruce said:
No Red Bull?
GloriousMaximus said:
My friends and I would feast on chips and soda, take pizza breaks and then return to gaming. I've actually never had a Twinkie(!), and a bunch of other stuff on that list, but I guesss my friends and I are satisfied with simple stuff. Game on! :D
Poopenshaft said:
That seperated chicken gave me flashbacks from the book "Breakfast of Champions".
Darrin said:
To quote an epic skit,
"WHERE ARE THE CHEETOS?"
Fail, Topless Robot... Horrid Fail.
Catherine said:
Most of these hinge you can't get over here :-(
My gaming snacks actually consist of fruit...yeah, I'm just weird like that, lol.
intothenight said:
Over three hundred cans of Mountain Dew per day is not cutting back. That's going cold turkey.
Izandra said:
BLECH, that picture of the chicken paste makes me want to throw up every Slim Jim I've ever eaten.
I do like Combos though, and that's a new flavor I've never seen before. And yes, they do look like Snausages, lol.
My favorite junk food gaming snacks are Combos, Flamin' Hot Cheetos con Limon, Pringles (various flavors), and Tostitos Hint of Lime.
Mike said:
I like to start my Saturday DandD with a Monster energy drink. It tastes and feels like congeeled cough medicine.
I bring over Pepsi and a box of ice cream on a stick.
Another rguy brings over the beef jerky.
Still another guy is a good cook. Unfortunetly we have a vegetarian amongst us so the food is alarmingly cruelty free.
kryonik said:
The worst part of all this is, the only thing I eat when gaming is water and maybe a bowl of cereal. And I'm still a fatass.
Black Llama said:
First timer here, but great list.
I have to add Hostess snack pies, more specifically hostess Puddin' Pies. I start getting the diabetic shakes just reading the carb counts on one of those.
Still, back in the day when I was a young strapping buck, I remember having a box of cold S'mores pop tarts and a 2 liter of Mt. Dew for a snack.
fell said:
dude... pringles.
Snoodle said:
I've never seen a Combo...but now I'm afraid of them.
Awesome list though, so very true.
Aramea said:
Some people eat their pizza rolls with ranch, but I go the healthier route.I use duck sauce. :)
Xanthippas said:
Oh Christ....man, I can't read this stuff at work. Why you ask? Well:
Me: (chuckling, a few snorts)
Coworker: "What are you laughing at?"
Me: "Oh man, this hilarious list on this blog."
Coworker: "Oh yeah? What blog"
Me: "It's called...uh, Topless Robot. Because...well, never mind that. And it's about video games, and RPGs, and action figures, and comics and...uh, man, just never mind."
Xanthippas said:
Oh, two substantive points though:
1) You forgot pizza, which probably ought to be #1.
2) I would've listed Doritos because it's pretty funny how they stain your fingers and leave a godawful film in your mouth of you eat enough of them, but any chip deserves an honorable mention.
Jon said:
No raw cookie dough out of the box? I have that all the time at L4D parties.
DoctorSmashy said:
I am so hungry now. Those donuts look awful good.... Good call with Oreos, btw.
Hunkababy said:
I was sure Hot Pockets would be #1. The only reason I buy Hot Pockets is to be sure I'm set at 2 in the morning during an impromptu gaming party.
My personal gaming snack? Cookies. Only homemade or bakery purchased. Nothing has saved my house from holes punched into walls more than offering up a fresh chocolate chip to someone who just got sniped in the back of the head.
Hunkababy said:
Hahaha, although I guess this list is BELOVED unhealthy snacks. I definitely have no amourous feelings towards Hot Pockets, that's for sure.
nightcrawler666 said:
The only problem I have is with Pizza, nachos and anything greasy when gaming. During a break they are fine, but I know when I have tried this I end up with oily fingers and missing controller moves when my thumb slid off the pad.
Also the same with powdery flavored substances, i.e. popcorn, Cheetos, Doritos, etc.
A whole load of cashews, now we would be talking. Costco has the great $10 bucket of cashews that are perfect.
Might just be me though.
8den said:
This is why we send you Nigella and Gordon Ramsey, America has never produced a gourmet chef because you're most trying to find a way to deep fry or add more salt to food.
ooohhhh though I do like the idea of a tv show "the gourmet gamer" each week a gamer gets a celebrity chef to cook up gaming related snacks suitable to this week's game.
Listy said:
Pizza should kinda be number one. Doritos should be on there too. I always had orange stains on my character sheets.
We didn't do nachos per say, but what my friends and I did was get the hottest salsa we could find, and then get some of that Mexican Velveeta, what with the jalapenos in it (do they even make that anymore?). We'd mix them together in the sturdiest bowl we could find and nuke the hell out of it, until it turned into nuclear waste. Oh my God that stuff was so toxic, but so good. We would get out the chips and eat it in huge globs. I think we destroyed several bowls making it--not to mention our bowels. Ouch.
Ah nostalgia. I just can't eat stuff like that anymore.
Zach said:
I can't say agree with your list at all. Soley for the reason that all these snacks are greasy or sticky and there are few things in the world I hate more than nastified video game controllers.
Brion said:
Fantastic list, everything on here minus the twinkes, I've been guilty of... multiple times.
Great article, made me laugh... in front of customers!
combat baby said:
Oh Mountain Dew, you are the only reason I wish I lived in America. Up here in Canada we have a crazy law that means any pop that is not brown can not contain caffeine. Apparently brown is supposed to not attract children (tell that to chocolate).
Our Dew is therefore caffeine free unless you buy Mt. Dew Energy and even then it has less than the American standard.
Gleeman said:
"Darrin said:
To quote an epic skit,
"WHERE ARE THE CHEETOS?""
You eat cheetos around your computer?
To quote an epic movie:
"You're braver than I thought."
? said:
No Monster?
8den said:
Pizza like Buffalo wings are off the list, unless the host provides wet wipes.
And frankly I ain't touching a packet of wet wipes belonging to a male teenage gamer.
Concerned Mother said:
Pizza Rolls can be very tragic. Such as the case of this young man:
Geoff said:
I'd never eat half this stuff while gaming for fear of the dreaded sticky controller.
Has anyone seen the ACTUAL pizza rolls - you know, egg rolls stuffed with pepperoni and sauce - anywhere recently in Canada? All I've ever seen are the mini versions.
Eric in Philly said:
Pink chickenmeat snake will appear in a FFF soon to come...
Metallman said:
Oreo cookies are the ultimate gaming food. I can't handle long missions without them.
Matt said:
You know what I would really love? A snack that I can eat a bunch of, but isn't so fucking unhealthy. That and doesn't make my hands all that dirty. Needs to be a quick and easy grab, so anything with dip or a coating is out.
I've been snack free for a week. I tried carrots, but after a while it irritated my taste buds. I tried peppers which were nice, but the amount I'd need to it is too high.
I've tried grapes and other fruits and then realised there are a bunch of sugars in them.
There is no answer!
Geoff said:
Matt: Unless you're cutting out carbs, air-popped popcorn is pretty much zero calories (or anything else for that matter).
ninja6fett said:
I think you have ruined mountain dew for me.
Damit.
Nikki said:
Wow. Those donuts are so colourful and icing-tastic. I want one.
Kes said:
Holy crap. I just found out what a Slim Jim is, after 30 years of being exposed to American books, TV and movies.
Dorky Tough Guy said:
I've worked in a cheese processing plant and lemme tell ya, you don't wanna know how they make nacho cheese.
You'd never eat it again if you knew that little trade secret.
Okami Hime said:
You have pretty much described our weekly food list. Especially the pizza rolls and ranch- my blood pressure is so high right now.
Geoff said:
"Holy crap. I just found out what a Slim Jim is, after 30 years of being exposed to American books, TV and movies. "
Someone's never watched wrestling, obviously....
Xanthippas said:
No Monster?
The Monster/Red Bull phenomenon is pretty recent. I think Mountain Dew still holds the lead for decades as a venerable gamer drink.
Master Higgins said:
WHERE THE HELL IS THE ALMIGHTY BOWL OF CEREAL?!
NorthSteve said:
there is nothing on that list that i don't love with various parts of my soul.
Sugar man said:
who said junk food is bad for you i never turn down junk food there is nothing wrong with eating piles of junk food while gaming if you start to loose just eat raw sugar for a quick pick me up sugar sugar sugar suuggarr sugga suggggeeerrrr ssss... .. . need sugar suggerrr peeew peew pew game never ends must protect sugar from all the bees pew pew pew beautiful suger white gold
Fantasy Nerd said:
Perfect article!
Thousands of Gamers eating this and making the companies rich. But what about Gamer Girls? How do they manage to stay in shape?
mun911 said:
I would differently want all of them stock piled in my house, but not sure which i like the best.
i have created an poll for this reason
http://apps.new.facebook.com/super_poll/poll_vote.php?uni_id=4af55913dc1a8&poll_type=1
Tom L Eustace said:
Certainly hope there are no "dark" chocolate candy, or even chocolate chip cookies, at or near the top of the list; never get my fill of dark chocolate. Actually, I know from experience SUGAR in any from other than direct from the berries or fruit is very BAD for human consumption. Glad to see Sun Chips and Fritos are not in top 10.
robo bot said:
i eat peanuts usually the ones which has less grease while playing world of warcraft
Jaime R. said:
i may never eat a slim jim again after seeing that paste.............nasssstttyyyy.
Luke said:
Fat Americans need to have a salad for once.
Spartan GL said:
OH NOM NOM NOM
Gough said:
I first saw Combos this summer while sharing a cabin with family. Since they were on a counter with the dog treats, I read the label several times to see if they were for dogs or people. As the writer pointed out, "Snausages for people" would have been a helpful label.
K.L. Droscha said:
I.HATE.donuts. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them. Why? My family had a big-ass corn maze a couple years back, and I was in charge of the snack-shack, and made donuts for 6 weeks straight. The smell of the hot donuts and oil seeped into your hair, skin and clothing and anything within a 30 yard radius, for a LONG time. Even the cream for the coffee, which we used to make quiche after Halloween smelled and tasted like donuts. Those things are nasty and I hate them.
gordon said:
Wait. What about hotpockets? They are soooo bad for you but... Ahhh oh so derishish.
dragonmamma/naomi said:
My son just about died of embarrassment when I sent him off to a tournament with a big bowl of cut-up watermelon chunks. But, you know what? Everybody loved them! (Out of season now, of course.)
Jeff S. said:
"Hey where are the Cheetos?"
FuryOfFirestorm said:
My top ten gaming snacks
10. Reeses Peanut Butter Cups
9. Starburst
8. Vanilla Coke
7. Cheetos (both crunchy and puffy style)
6. Peanut Butter M&M's
5. Sour Patch Kids
4. Raisinets
3. Nachos
2. Oreos (the mint filled ones taste like Girl Scouts Thin Mints!)
1. Jelly Bellys (especially Buttered Popcorn, Green Apple and Very Cherry flavors)
mik said:
slow down on your use of commas.
Robb said:
No Hot Pockets at #1? This blog fails hard, really hard.
Nat-Wu said:
I have to say that leaving off pizza and Doritos is a major oversight, but I think the list is pretty good overall. Some commenters forget that this list is for table-top or console gaming, therefore greasy fingers are not a concern for all of us. That's one reason you don't share dice, the other being you don't want that greasy-fingered bastard stealing the luck out of them. Bourbon was one of my gaming buddy's "snack" of choice, which definitely put a time limit on the quality gaming achieved.
Xanthippas replied to Nat-Wu:
"Greasy-fingered bastard stealing the luck out of them"....ha!!
Preeeemo said:
Mountain Dew should have been energy drinks as a whole imho. Also hot pockets and delivery should have been included.
Foozlewrap said:
Dang, now I feel weird. My faves in order of frequency:
1. Beef Jerky/Slim Jims, extra sharp cheddar cheese, and salt & vinegar chips.
2. Cheese melted on bread with a some garlic salt.
3. Salted nuts. Or honey roasted peanuts.
4. Rice balls with some sort of filling like salmon and/or pickled plums.
5. Pickled eggs, pickled beets, and extra sharp cheddar cheese.
6. Starburst and Skittles. I am no longer allowed to eat these on raid nights. And the bastards KNOW when I'm eating them, damnitall.
7. Veggies (celery, carrots, snap peas, broccoli, peppers) with disgusting amounts of ranch dressing and buffalo wing sauce. I salt the ranch dressing; I have no idea why.
8. Pizza Rolls.
9. Buffalo chicken ANYTHING.
10. Sushi. And the sushi I'm talking about makes the original list look like health food. Pity it's hella expensive.
I usually drink milk, watered down juice, or hot apple cider (the opaque stuff with a kick; not that thin apple juice crap.)
Nikita said:
If you want to kick it up a notch try cream cheese as a dip for your oreos. Try it its out of this world.
Zyonin said:
Hmm, favorite munchies for when I am gaming. I am a pretty hardcore RTS, MMORPG and of course pen and paper RPG player so most of my snacks need to be keyboard/mouse friendly. So my list (in no particular order) which is a bit different than some since I am not in the US (Italy):
Pizza (it's cheap and very good here)
Kebab (get an extra pita bread to make finger sized bites)
Beer
Coffee /w sugar (sorry no Mountain Dew here)
Pringles (no need to clean the cheese dust off my keyboard)
Cookies (of any variety) and Nutella
Aranciata (orange soda)
Steam dumplings from the Chinese restaurant across the street
Fried appetizers from said Chinese restaurant
Nachos
Sadly, we don't have Doritos, Hot Pockets and other such goodies here however I did consume plenty of them when I lived in the US.
Jack said:
Beef jerky actually has SOME nutritional value like protein and isn't just an empty sugar. :\ Come on use common sense and drink some water when you're chomping on the stuff. Stop making salt the enemy! I can't believe it beat out OREOS!
Tantrix said:
Woah, 75% of all those aren't even here in Europe. No wonder so many Americans look fat.
agent_epitaph said:
BAWLS
NameofRain said:
I'm gonna take a "rant moment" and add veggie pizza to the list. Why?
Because I have a friend who has a 3-day New Year's gaming extravaganza every year, and they always order pizza. It goes like this: 3 meat pizzas, one questionable-looking "cheese" pizza, and a veggie pizza, presumably to be primarially for me, the sole vegetarian.
When I finally get past everyone to the pizza, I find (if I am lucky) a slice or two of the veggie pizza, and the meat pizzas mostly untouched. The reason I am given? My veggie pizza "looked tastier". So I'm out my share of pizza.
Has anything like this ever happened to anyone else?
MasterMayhem117 said:
WHERE THE HELL ARE THE CHEEZ-ITS!!???!! The one snack you can buy a family size box of and sit down and eat them and be done before you know it. It's like you just lose all track and suddenly your hand hits the bottom.
TG said:
Actually, if you can prepare ahead of time (like two days) you can make your own jerky! Just get some roast or other cheap meat, slice in thin, soak it in 1/2 Worcestershire Sauce and 1/2 Liquid Smoke in a bowl overnight, then pepper (if you like)and put in the oven on a drying rack with oven on the lowest setting until it's good and dried out (probably 4-5 hours). Beef Jerky on the cheap! Although with much preparation, which most gamers won't do!
valdisfox said:
Great post, and despite the horrible truth within (that photo of "mechanically separated" chicken will haunt me for some time), I got kind of hungry. I do have to agree, the omission of the "Orange & Salted" group is conspicuous: Cheetos (all shapes), Doritos, Cheez-its, cheese popcorn (preferrably the kind sold pre-popped in trash-bag-sized bags), cheddar party mix, basically anything that's degerminated (to remove all nutrients), fried and/or puffed with air, then spray-painted with gobs of yummy orange-yellow salted residue. While not as unhealthy as, say, pizza rolls, the sheer volume consumed at gaming sessions makes Orange & Salted the Mount Everest of Gamer Snackage. Sherpas and oxygen masks sold separately. ^.^
Worldwalker said:
Easier than the oven: Check yard sales for one of those food dehydrators that were such a big fad a few years back (which is when my brother-in-law gave us one for Christmas) or even go buy one at the store, and you have the jerky production system of the gods. Use really lean meat; the more fat it has, the easier it can go rancid (ew!). Slice it thin, apply seasoning or marinade of choice as needed, put it in to dry, and try to avoid eating the entire machine as the delicious smell wafts through the house. Doing your own gives you total control over flavor and ingredients, and the health value thereof. (Am I a bad person because I want to try seasoning some with bacon salt?)
nightcrawler666 said:
@nameofrain, happens to me all the time. So now I just bring my own small and that way no one runs off with my pizza.
El Jefe said:
Anyone else notice the sweet sherrif's badge in the hige pile of candy. It's the law.
DarkMessiah said:
This is a good list. But like many have mentioned, you left out Doritos and Red Bull and Hot Pockets. I don't like Doritos so much, but Hot Pockets and Red Bull are my fuel. I just ate a Black Jack Taco Box from Taco Bell, with an extra Black Taco and an extra taco supreme.
My salty snack of choice would be a big pizza pan covered in french fries, topped with a mountain of shredded cheese (preferably sharp cheddar) and bacon bits all over it. Prefer the good hearty bacon drained of all post-grease cuz it's easier to break and crumble over the cheese fries. Then have a cereal bowl full of Ranch dressing, and that, my friend, is my ultimate gamer snack. And besides, no one else uses my computer. My girlfriend uses her own laptop.
TDC said:
Greasy, powdery fingers?
One word: "Tongs."
Let your tongs do the nasty for you.
Safer than a KFC spork.
You could poke an eye out, young man.
Rachel said:
Haha! So much junk food! I read an article about some healthier options to eat while gaming that require only one hand, so you may stay focused on your game while satisfying your hunger!
kellyg said:
The ultimate gaming food...PIZZA!
craftycori said:
Doritos and Coke! don't forget pizza and many pots of coffee and packs of smokes for the FFXI binges!! woot!
Keith said:
oops. Forgot one. www.gamergrub.com
Eedwin said:
A must have for me: a big pile of chicken and veggie potstickers. A pair of chopsticks keeps the fingers clean.
axel g said:
I vote for oreos and milk +_+
