Let's face it: sci-fi is often silly. Now, before you hurl your drool-moistened Phillip K. Dick novels through your monitor, we're talking about sci-fi, not science fiction. Amongst those who make a distinction between the two (us nerds, that is), science fiction deals with how science will change the human condition, while sci-fi usually deals with hallway-chasing-explosions, weirdly shaped knife-fights and Megan Fox's ass... although not necessarily in that order.
Sci-fi is the watered-down, mass media version of science diction, the generic Dr. Thunder to the true amazingness of Dr. Pepper, if you will. But since most people don't know the difference, you get non-fans thinking that Independence Day is the epitome of smart science fiction (although, it did teach us all how explosive a drunk Randy Quaid can be). And even worse, since a lot of sci-fi is shaped by executives who thought Lost in Space was a true vision of the future, it falls into the trap of showing the same clichéd stories with the same clichéd characters over and over again. Here are the 10 worst.
10) The Robot Who Wants To Be Human
So, you spend billions of dollars creating a fantastical metal man and all he wants is to be is made of meat? You could've done made one of those with just a condom and a pin! Yep, most sci-fi robots just want to be regular humans and aren't happy with their giant mechano-arms or brains that break down at the slightest illogical statement. Of course, not all of them want to be us -- some just want to kill us all. At least they have some robo-self-respect.
9) The May-Or May-Not Be the Devil Guy
It can be tricky to create a good villain that'll scare people, which explains why sci-fi properties from Battlestar Galactica to Doctor Who (and just about every Star Trek series) has had someone who just-might-be-but-we're-not-definitely-going-to-say-yes-or-no-whether-he's-the-devil character. Hey, we've got nothing against the Devil (how do you think we keep this blog running?), it's the coyness that bothers us. Just once we'd like a show to say, "Yep, that's the Devil over there. Let's run in terror." Would that be so hard?
8) Pure Energy Beings
Everyone wants to know what the human race is going to be like in the future -- and invariably sci-fi predicts that we're going to turn into pure energy -- evolving past the need for things like brains, limbs or dangling genitals. It's never really made clear why energy bodies are so desirable -- you don't need to eat, but being able to open doors has a certain kitschy appeal. Sure, it's an easy way to show that creatures are "advanced," but how bout you spend some time writing something smart for them to do?
7) The Accidental Time-Tourist
Almost no one ever plans to travel in time -- they have to bumble and accidentally stumble into the past in a way that would embarrass even Don Knotts. They either get zapped there by a daffy scientist or fall through a machine or get struck by lightning -- which is the best evidence we have that time travel doesn't exist. If it did, we'd quickly notice the silver-suited jerks flailing around the place like Harlan Williams on too much Ambien.
6) Genetically Superior Smug Humans
These characters are basically Space Nazis. Spock put it best in Star Trek II: "Superior intelligence breeds superior ambition." So,the minute anyone's genetics get spruced up a bit, they figure they've got to take over the galaxy. Sorry -- we're not buying it. Really smart people should be able to figure out that ruling the galaxy's a huge hassle and let other people to conquer the world for them while they put their superior feet up on some superior sofa (we assume, from some sort of space Ikea).
5) The Monocultural Alien
While Earth's future is always as multi-cultural as a Benneton ad, how many alien planets can say the same? Every alien world is exactly one big homogeneous lump, be it all desert, ice, jungle or junk, and every one of that planet's species is likewise the same. For example, every Vulcan's pretty much the same as Spock, it's just that some have bigger breasts and trouble staying out of saunas. Can't they even have different accents? Wouldn't you love to hear a Scottish Klingon sometime?
4) The Captain Ahab
Don't have strong emotions about anything in sci-fi, or chances are you'll become so obsessed with it you'll become essentially insane and functionally retarded. Yep, whether it's destroying a giant space whale (which comes up more often than you'd think) or Picard freaking out about how the Borg touched him in a bad way, sci-fi is full of people over-reacting and overacting about their obsessions. It's a good thing in space no one can hear you scream.
3) The Bumbling Robot
If there's a more pernicious robo-stereotype than the wanna-be meatbags, it's the robots that are programmed to be 2000% more bumbling than humans can ever be. Sometimes they're overly cute (Twiki), sometimes they're overly serious (C-3PO) and sometimes they're a ball filled with rodeo clown Slim Pickens (Old B.O.B.), but they're all apparently programmed to be not only annoying robots, but annoying people. It's hard to believe that their creators wouldn't simply rebuild them to make them work properly... but then I never understood why Steve Guttenberg didn't simply take an axe to Johnny Five.
2) The Evil Twin
Whether they be clones, robots or alternate reality versions, evil twins eventually show up in just about every sci-fi property -- looking just enough like the regular version to fool everyone that knows them, but different enough that the viewer wonders why everyone on the show is an idiot. Of course, they're most famous in the Star Trek universe, where evil Mirror Spock's goatee has become the universal symbol for the phenomenon (as well as for filthy beatnicks). Oh, and evil twins are almost always sluttier than the regular version, although whether that applied to KITT's evil twin KARR we leave to your and AAA's imagination.
1) The Over-Obsessed Scientist
If there's a biggest cliché in science fiction, it's got to be the scientist that has to "play god" and "go where man should not go" and "do bat-shit insane things that no one would ever want to do" in the name of science. Yep, if you're a scientist, you're probably going to threaten everything you love (if not the universe) for the love of science. And thus is born Frankenstein's monster, Jurassic Park and Alien Resurrection.
There was also that one episode of B5 where Delenn visited with a representative of each of Earth's religions. Over 200+ IIRC and her fascination that our culture was so diverse where others had "settled down" to one or two over time.
This is actually referenced in an episode of SG-1 where one of the team members tunnels through ice to reach the surface, comes out in the middle of an icy landscape and bemoans that they're trapped on an "Ice Planet".
Turns out that no, they're not, they're at the frozen southern pole of a planet that has as diverse a climate as Earth.
Well, how many do there need to be?
That would require peers! For now a god am I!
The only sci-fi show I know that didn't do the "mono-cultured" alien thing was the Alien Nation TV Show. Those the aliens had been slaves, once freed, they practiced different religions and the such.
Poking fun at humanoid aliens on TV shows is like poking fun at lawyers - it has actually been done a few before, you're not the first person to tell that joke, and you are too lazy to come up with a new twist on the joke.
Unless you have a practical solution to offer or are prepared to tell an original joke, then no, you are not allowed to poke fun at people who are more creative than you'll ever be.
I think Wesley Crusher from Star Trek TNG is the poster boy for this stereotype
Seriously, remember that smart-ass punk Lucas from SeaQuest DSV? I so wanted them to fire him out of one of the SeaQuest's torpedo tubes.
Klingon is difficult, but Esperanto is worldwide. And easy, of course :)
As in http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2LPVcsL2k0
How about that annoying genius teenager, who spends most of the series whining like a baby but then turns around and saves the day for some inexplicable reason...
There's got to be a thousand of those on tv right now.
90% of aliens fit into the following categories:
1 The wise old ancients
2 The noble warriors
3 The rigid hive/caste society
4 The evil conquerers
5 The enigmatic recluses
6 The hard-bargaining traders
7 The eco-friendly spiritualists
There are more broad types, but the above seem to show up repeatedly (and to be fair, most of the races I've dreamed up fit these types as well).
For the most part, a truly alien race with its own inscrutable culture and motives doesn't always make for a good story.
It was a conscious decision after the horribly fake-looking Gorn in the episode Arena. They wanted their aliens to be more expressive. That's why the bumpy heads.
Third that...
Don't forget the Rakata form Star Wars.
If you really are tired of that cliche, wait till "Avatar" comes out!
So much love for this (speaking as a scientist). Just once, it would be great to see a "mad scientist" actually conducting an experiment.
And where would they publish? Is there peer-reviewed Journal of Mad Science and Nefarious Schemes?
Nearly spit out my coffee at that line.
You forgot the <b>Ancient Civilization of Super-Beings that died out or left for parts unknown but left behind insanely powerful weapons</b> that might as well be magic.
Stargate's Ancients, Star Trek's Founders, Babylon 5's First Ones, the list goes on.
Budget concerns are without saying, doesn't mean we still can't poke fun.
Second that...
The way aliens are portrayed (esp on older shows) is limited by the technology and budget available. Shows like star trek could either adopt the 'eye brows/bony ridge denotes alien method', which they did and get on with the story telling; or, do some complicated effects and we could still be watching humans try to communicate with say, Klingons who are entirely gaseous, and communicate naturally by changing colours. And realistically, the two species are so unlike that it's taken REALISTCALLY 30 years just to form some basic communication ground rules. I know what i'd rather watch, realism or not.
Yeah I've always found it odd how many SCIENCE fiction treats science as EVIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Also you forgot the "Smug I'm better than humans, in everyway alien"
แม่งโคตรโมโหเลย!
All these cliches and more brought to you by Star Trek.
Star Trek: Where no one has had an original idea for 40 years, and when they do everyone cries and wants it removed from canon.
Wasn't there a Scottish Klingon in "How Much for Just the Planet?" I know there was the scene with them playing golf with Scotty and Chekhov, but I think there waa one of them that had an accent considered unusual amongst Klingons.
Of course, Ford's Klingons were about a billion times better than the VIKINGS IN SPAAAAAAAAACE Klingons we got from TNG on.
Besides the Monocultural races, you also have the duocultrual races, with a society of two polar opposites, who in the end learn to get along
i can speak british in chinese xp
especially these days.
too soon?
Very well said. Pretty much covered everything I was going to say, thank you.
Have you ever heard German with a Hillbilly accent?
"KHAAAAAAAN!!"
Someone had to say it.
But where's the one-dimensional female character that is only there for sex appeal and can be replaced or killed off with the drop of a hat??
Wait. That transcends all genres, doesn't it?
Also, no love for the cliched Red Shirts?
God help us if New Moon counts as even sci-fi . . .
I'd just be happy to see a universe where hominids aren't the norm, and in fact, are unusual. It would be cool to see a series where every alien species is amazed that Earthlings managed to get as far as they did with only two manipulator limbs, or a completely lack of telekinetic ability, or other things that ARE "normal" in the space-faring community.
Because most Sci-Fi movies are written by Americans.
Here's a ProTip: if you try to Google "rule 34 harley quinn" and Google asks "Did you mean to search for 'rule 34 bizarro quinn'?" DON'T SAY YES.
I think one of the biggest cliches that irritated me is that humans are always the enlightened beings who are trying to get everyone else to play nice or are the little guys who are constantly getting their ass kicked, but win due to plucky nature and will to survive.
Why must we be the nice guys who are constantly trying to fix things? That really bugs me.
The one with Neal Peart, Alex Lifeson, and Geddy Lee in a submarine?
"Picard freaking out about how the Borg touched him in a bad way"
BWAHAHAHAHA!
I can disarm a Klingon using only my buttcheeks. I hope I never get a chance to use that line again.
Also, I can speak (a little) Japanese in a Torgo accent.
I'm amused by Patrick Stewart being the prime example of the Captain Ahab type since he's actually played Captain Ahab in a Moby Dick movie. :)
I have to admit I love the evil twin. It's such a parody that no one takes seriously, so typically it's hilarious when it's done in a show or movie.
The "this creature is the ultimate perfectly evolved creature in all of existence, thus we should marvel and bask in its glory, for it shall exist forever more long after we foolish inferior humans have destroyed ourselves" guy is my least favorite cliche' character in sci-fi. X-Files did a nice lampshade hanging with the exterminator from their cockroach episode. Good times.
Well, the explanation is simple: it's a fuckload cheaper to paint someone green and staple a paper plate to their forehead than it is to hire Stan Winston.
I think the first reference to the trousers of time is actually in Jingo - the bit where Vimes has to choose between going away to stop the war or staying and protecting the city.
You could always play with these tropes. I've always been disappointed by the fact that the Mirror Mirror universe has the same dramatis personae. I sincerely doubt that in an evil universe all the characters of DS9 would not only be important players but also all end up together.
I've always wanted to see a boring universe. In this one everyone lives their lives happily and boringly. Superman is just a reporter and Batman is just a playboy. It would be an interesting mediation on what makes heroes (how boring would the environment have to be to kill the need for Superman) and what makes villains.
More importantly he was one of the desert combers in Space Balls.
Thats right, he ain't found shit.
One thing that is abused is 'The Mutation'
Often caused by tachyon particles or radiation or genetic experimentation.
Its down right annoying anymore. Make up some new problem or outcome of said experimentation, although any change in the basic structure of the control in said experimentation is by definition a mutation, but still.
I like the way planet of the apes handled "multiculti" issues; there were gorillas, and chimps and orangutans, etc and they all seemed to have their own "culture" if you will. i think it worked nicely.
Actually, Thief of Time deals with the anthropomorphic personification of Time and the History Monks most completely, with my personal favorite, The Sweeper. It's pretty much the most kick ass time story ever written.
I would just like to point out the recognition of the beauty that is Dr. Pepper. Thank you.
I hate that in every genre it reels it's overly done head in, I'm so sick of teenagers saving the the god damned day. I love the good old days when people like Jason and Freddy really knew how to deal with these punks.
No sorry Night Watch is The best discworld book, well, next to Mort.
Tom Baker should be the narrator of a new Doctor Who episode.
I don't know if this counts for Sci Fi or not but one cliche I am so tired of is "The Company".
In far too many movies, there's always some organization of spooks and scientists, be it the government or firm or whatever, that wants to capture the sci fi character in question to study (though never just flat out kill it). E.T., Johnny Five, Bumblebee, Alien, Predator all had to deal with these assholes. No matter what else is going on, there's always that organization that wants to capture the creature and genually make life harder for our heroes.
Wasn't the plastic surgery done on purpose to make the Michael Knight look like Garthe?
From <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Knight_%28Knight_Rider%29">Wikipedia</a>:
At the time of Michael's surgery, Garthe was imprisoned in Africa. Believing that his son would never be seen again, Wilton had Michael's face modeled after Garthe's
Several of the background Vulcans in <I>Star Trek III: The Search For Spock</I> are also of different races.
I always thought that was cool as a kid.
Seriously, that was the wrong picture to post if you want to convince me that evil twins are a bad thing.
Re: The Monocultural Alien
That was one of the things that I loved about the <I>Star Fleet Battles</I>-version of <I>Star Trek</I>--the Klingons Empire had "client races," other sapient species that had been conquered and incorporated into the Empire. Some of the even served as troops in the Klingon Empire's armed forces.
Many are the Slirdarian bear-ape shock troops and glorious are their battles! Qapla'!
Good Lord *choke*
All these replies, and NOBODY mentions the 'game changer' in the Monoculture game?
Tuvok.
BLLLAAACK VULCAN!
discuss.
(Tuvok was one of the few good things about ST:Voyager. Yes I said it.)
Is that a reference to The Night Watch, wherein Commander Vimes gets sent back in time to his rookie days while chasing a Watch-killer?
I just started reading that, actually. It's not my favorite Discworld-- or Night Watch-- book, so far, but I just got to the monastic order and that's vintage Pratchett...
I don't always drink klingon ale, but when I do, it's DIvI'Hol
As stupidly awesome Garth Knight was, he made no sense. Mostly because Michael Knight was plastic surgeried to look the way he did!
Non sequitir:
Nichelle Nichols was so fucking hot in that episode.
I never realized how much I saw the evil twin thing used all over the place. The KITT vs KARR episodes of Knight Rider were funny, but it got even worse when they had David Hasselhoff playing Garthe Knight (who was really just the Hoff wearing a fake goatee and talking like a bigger douchebag).
We all cheer for Discworld!
Bizzaro! I Love You! Bizzaro!
Man, some days I really, really miss classic adult swim
I thought I was the only one. I speak German with a swedish accent.
I can disarm a Klingon with my looks. Or my hands. Either way.
*cough*NERD*cough*
Why is a Futurama pic used? I always thought Futurama parodied these cliches more than actually included them.
Where must the line be drawn again?
Pfft. I can speak English with an American accent.
Ha. Oh, you are so right.
Yeah, TNG did try to give an explanation, an ancient race that took credit for 4 or 5 out of the zillion identical races in the Universe.
Babylon 5 took baby steps toward abandoning the monocultural alien thing. The Minbari had three different castes with different mannerisms, the Narn had multiple religions, and the Centauri had different accents.
I was going to point out that traveling millions of lightyears to earth to pick up "cheap beer" would be ridiculous since the expense of the trip is way more than the savings of the beer, but then I remembered my dad will routinely drive twice as far to shop at the "cheaper" grocery store and save 15 cents on a gallon of milk.
Scottish Klingons: play through Star Trek Bridge Commander and the Klingon who joins your crew half-way through is 100% Scottish.
Evil twins: genetics rules - if they're monozygotic twins, and one of them is evil then there should be a very high likelihood that the other one will also be evil.
I am officially using this list as a warning of things to avoid in future storylines in my comics! Man, now I have to start THINKING and being creative. Drat.
could not agree with this list more for sci fi seems with everything it does keeps using this list over and over again espically the robot being nuts or wanting to be more human. and the evil twin all done to death
There's always room for a megalomaniacal pervert who's just deranged enough to have an incestuous relationship with his nephew.
Wait, I think I feel a FFF coming on....
I can speack Russian in French
Just the other day I had a whole big long discussion with my Dad (college prof in anthropology and social sciences) about monocultural aliens. its globlization taken to its final end where all cultures and ethnic groups have blended together. Its predicted that us humans in several hundred years will mostly be light coco skined. so we always see these aliens after they've reached this point, which is kinda a bummer. i'd like to think that there were different cultures, that for some reason or other didn't make it... like the Vulcans engaging in ethnic cleansing of their neighbors before they went all super logical.
Dad argues that variation, if it isn't being expressed physically, then it must be at the genetic level. and that even the klingons demonstrate variation in skin tones that implies geographic adaptations to climates.
This from the same guy who says aliens probably come to earth for the cheap beer.
About the accidental time tourist... it still pisses me off that the sci-fi world veered away from one of the originals: The Time Traveler (his name in the story) in H.G. Wells <u>The Time Machine</u>. Not only did he want to travel through time, but he built a machine to do it. Then, he had the chutzpah and tell stories to people about what he saw and did.
<P>
He also wasn't one of the obsessed scientists, either. The man had a dream and the know-how to make it happen. He admitted it was dangerous, that it could lead to personal sorrow, but that -- all-in-all -- he rather enjoyed his experiences.
<P>
This is what I love about Dr. Who. The guy or whatever he is whips around time and space all willy-nilly. Oh, the Doctor is marginally concerned about polluting the time continuum, but... not all the much in the end.
<P>
Finally, Terry Pratchett has the right of it with his "trousers of history" theory. No matter which leg one travels down whether it be in the past, present or future, history will work itself out. Plus, it also helps if you have a monastic order who is dedicated to keeping history intact and correct.
yeah that is a good point as a burgeoning scientist I think it is time for a change
"I hate the Bizarros"
"Don't you mean you hate the BIZARROOOOOOSSS?"
Oh, yeah, seriously. The Captain Ahab line of storytelling needs to go. It's officially every other Star Trek plot, even right up the the new movie. Which I still love BTW. But really, how many madmen are willing to sacrifice large chunks of the universe to chase petty and selfish means in the STU? It's pretty much everyone BUT the Federation.
Number 5 as always annoyed me, though I've generally focused on the mono-geographical (not even sure that's right) planets. I hate all the 'desert planets' and 'ice planets' and so forth. As if nothing else can be as diverse in terrain as Earth. Ugh. It's just laziness on the part of the writer/creator.
Monocultural aliens are pretty horrible, too. It applies to a lot of Fantasy, too.
Got to agree about the 'teenager saves us all!' cliche that somebody else mentioned, too. That's easily one of the ones I hate most.
Shoulda gone whole hog and found all the Star Trek examples of each trope. 6/10 ain't bad though.
Also, in Star Trek, Earth IS monocultural. And, while they've dealt with planets with multiple nations, it is generally stated multiple times in TNG that a world must form one government (resulting in one culture eventually) in order to form a society able to "reach the stars".
In Star Trek, it's Prime Directive coupled with the writers' "world" view.
That said, I agree that I am sick of humanoid aliens. Which is why I loved early Stargate SG-1 and Firefly so much.
Where does the Baron Vladimir Harkonnen,encompasser of Atreides doom,fit into all this?
How sexist, luckily with the success of New Moon, we might be seeing more man-candy in our sci-fi. Equal time!
Yes, I know that it's been somewhat explained and I fully understand why it's been done. I just don't like it.
The Animated Adventures of Gene Roddenberry's Star Trek episode entitled "The Magicks of Megas-Tu" focuses on Kirk defending The Devil during a Salem witch trial. He is specifically referred to being the Devil and Satan.
I can speak Klingon with a Sottish accent
and Spanish with an Australian accent. }}}:]
They explain that in an episode of TNG. The universe was seeded by humanoids. Naturally, this upsets the Klingons.
And the monocultural aliens can also be defended. First, we are only ever seeing a small segment of the alien culture and that segment usualy consists of astronauts, diplomats, and warriors. If an alien were to come across a large group of human astronauts they would also likely see them as monocultural.
Second, the reason we have a diverse population is because we (as a whole) value a diverse population. Other races certainly don't have to. It makes sense that space Mongols or space Nazis wouldn't have a diverse culture because they would not want one. For example, every now and then we see a sliver of other people in the Klingon culture (artists, bankers, lawyers) but they are always summarily rejected.
MST3K managed to showcase just about all of these cliches. I think the only ones they didn't get to was the genetically superior smug human beings and the Captain Ahab (unless you count Dr. Forrester's insane quest for the "White Whale" of bad movies).
you said despot and I read EPCOT
The chain of inferiority:
Science Fiction
Sci-fi
Syfy
My favorite Evil Twins were the Bizzaros from Sealab 2112. "Bizzaro! I'm helping! Bizzaro!"
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Nerd news, humor and self-loathing.Edited by Rob Bricken
