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The Assassination of Ghostbusters by the Cowards John and Edward


I don’t normally give over an entire article to one person, but handsome and well-coiffed TR commenter DoctorSmashy sent me a tip — a tip, which by itself was excellent, but coupledwith his explanatory note, became something I absolutely had to share with you in its entirety. Please, before you watch the video below, read Doctor Smashy’s missive:

You may have heard of this singing contest we’ve got in England, The X Factor. It spawned Leona Lewis? Simon Cowell is one of the judges? No?

Anyway,
the show is in something like its fifth season, and right now there’s a
big ruckus because these two Irish twins, John and Edward, are the
favourite to win and recieved more public votes than any other singer
in the contest last week – even though they are tone deaf. You can find loads of ‘Jedward’ clips on Youtube,
but alI you really need to know is that they cannot sing. They are in a
singing contest, and they cannot sing. Hell, even Gordon Brown said
they suck. But, despite their sickly demeanor and ridiculous hair, the
British public love ’em. Because the British public are idiots. Every
week the twins come on to stage with a big, cheesy production,
nervously stare at the audience and basically shout into their mikes,
while the judge who is stuck with their category, resident Irish twat
Louis Walsh
,
grins smugly and says things like ‘They put the fun factor in X
Factor!’ and ‘They are entertaining, and this is an entertainment
show!’ Umm, no it isn’t, Louis. It’s a singing show.

You’re
probably wondering what this has to do with your pop culture/nerd blog.
Well, this Saturday, it was movie night for The X Factor, and the song
the twins performed was – yep, you guessed it. Ghostbusters. That
iconic, brilliant, awesome theme was killed on November 7th, at
precisely 9:00pm. This is the upsetting footage:

A
personal highlight is when Mr Stay Puft struts onto the stage and
starts to boogie down. Ha. Hahahahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHADIDIMENTIONTHESEGUYS
ARETHEFAVOURITETOWIN?!!!?

I
might as well give up. I seem to be the only person left in Britain who
hasn’t fallen under their pale, skinny spell. But as long as you keep
spreading the hate on your seldom-read nerd blog, their uppance will
come.

DoctorSmashy, thank you for bringing the wretchedness of “Jedward” into my life, and also for doing my work for me. Even the article title is his, which I stole because it was so, so perfect. Magnifique, sirrah!