As our technology in robotics continues to improve, there's pretty much zero chance we'll avoid creating a robot that will kill humans -- the only two questions are 1) will we do this accidentally or on purpose, and 2) how many humans will these robots kill, some or all? I think there's a good chance in the coming decade that some robots we are working on right this very minute will become dangerous and commit several brutal human murders, if not bring about humanity's grisly end. Here are 10 robots currently in existence that are likely candidates to do either.
10) Asimo
Asimo, the robot developed by Honda, scares the crap out of me. First, it looks like an astronaut, which is supposed to make it more friendly, but instead makes it looks like it's an alien visiting from another planet. As movies can tell you, aliens have a 50% chance of being friendly and an equal probability that they want to suck off your face and plant eggs in your lungs. Second, the Japanese won't stop messing with it. They keep not only making it do more things, making it faster, more agile, and able to operate longer without recharging. Hell, why not give it rotating blades while you're at it?
9) Toyota's Violin-Playing Robot
There's only one thing that music leads to, and that is drug abuse. If you turn robots into musicians, you are going to create robot junkies. Just imagine, a whole slew of robots, playing Elliot Smith covers by day, then harvesting human organs to sell on the black market so they can get their heroin fix by night. Sure, who knows what fantastic double albums they may put out, but only the mutilated corpses of the human race will be around to listen to them.
8) The Roomba
Most people know The Roomba. These small, disc-shaped vacuuming robots move around your house like some sort of retarded hockey puck. Some have even taken to naming their Roombas, as if they are pets. This how it starts. People start to care for the little robot, even love it. Soon they come out with new and improved Roombas with greater intelligence and cute little eyes. Then they improve on that one and give it even Greater intelligence and an adorable little nose and fur. Then they improve on it again, and it wakes you up one morning with a gun pointed at your forehead, saying in a robotic voice, "Now it is your turn to clean the rug."
7) Albert HUBO
This little robot has a lot of the features of the ASIMO, but it has one important difference - a human head attached. In this case, Albert Einstein's head. I should point out that attaching Albert Einstein's head to anything does not make it "smarter," otherwise, there would have been quite the scramble for Einstein's head after he died. Plus, does anyone really know if the scientists decided to give the robot the head, or if the head is something HUBO asked for? I think heads are something it has decided it needs, wants, and must collect. Thus, the Robot Headless Horseman is born.
6) Alice This Japanese robot has been designed to do one thing and one thing only -- dance the polka. Admittedly, Alice has a very low probably of killing us personally, but she makes me want to kill myself, and that seemed worth mentioning.




