By Ethan Kaye in
Daily Lists, Movies
Friday, Feb. 26 2010 @ 8:05AM
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Of course, in many other countries, copyright is just another funny sounding foreign word which means absolutely nothing; not unrelatedly, these countries are seldom on the first-run lists of places to show the latest American blockbuster. So sometimes, enterprising foreign people may decide to raise 100 kfernupfs, or whatever other bizarre local currency they use, and make their own version of said Hollywood movie for their own profit. Their local culture and entertainment values, coupled with the fact that the filmmakers often never saw the original movie, but heard about it second-, third- or even possibly 16th-hand, make for some truly bizarre -- but often entertainingly awful -- cinematic rip-offs. Enjoy the 10 most batshit insane foreign knock-off flicks we could find.
10) Turkish Young Frankenstein
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9) Turkish Exorcist
There was probably a reason that Turkey needed to get its own Exorcist. The original's plot might have been too deep, or too wordy, or there might not have been enough sight gags where a hypnotist gets whacked in the nuts by a little girl. All of these are corrected in "Seytan." Complex plot is replaced with joyless people staring at each other while a stolen copy of the Exorcist theme is played behind them. Regan being thrown around on a bed is replaced with a girl jumping on a bed. The head-spinning scene is replaced by Regan slowly turning around behind a headless mannequin. Oh, and Santa Claus shows up at the end for no reason.
8) Indian Superman
Like much of Bollywood cinema, the primary focus of Indian Superman is not the story of the Last Son of Krypton living life as a mild-mannered reporter. It's about scantily clad girls dancing to awful, shrieky music. Supes takes a backseat to drawn-out and pointless "comedy" and everyone sitting back and enjoying dancing girls. There's also stolen footage from the Richard Donner film and homemade special effects where a superimposed Superman silhouette is placed over footage of buildings moving by real fast. Plus, Superman is a skinny dork with a homemade costume. Bad. Ugh. Ick.
7) Turkish Batman
Imagine if Zack Braff threw on some Bat-tights and made a film about stopping insurance fraud. Now imagine it's in Turkish and that's it actually got made. "Betmen" is a joy-less romp through long underwear and following around a dusty sedan as it travels the dull streets of Turkey-Gotham. There is a Turkish Robin. There is a Turkish Commissioner Gordon. There is no Turkish Joker. There are bikini girls. There is a hip Turkish Batman soundtrack, which is really just the James Bond theme, played on a scratchy record player. And Batman has no qualms about straight-up shooting criminals. Take a page from this, Chris Nolan, and have more pointless dancing girls.
6) Indian My Cousin Vinny
Oh yes, cinema fans, this exists. It's called "Banda Yeh Bindaas Hai" and it's an official remake of the Joe Pesci original, official because FOX sued the producers and then bought the rights. Yes, it does have dance sequences, and it does have a hot babe in place of Lois and Clark actor Lane Smith as the prosecuting attorney. And she wears skimpy clothing, which is much better than Lane Smith stripping down. Why the hell did they want to re-make My Cousin Vinny in the first place?
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Tags: Batman, Comic Movies, E.T., Foreign Things, Rip-Offs, Spider-man, Star Trek, Star Wars, Superman
88 comments
Comments
RedButcher said:
Turks need a new hobby!
Chad replied to RedButcher:
China loves to do this with anime. Apparently, Japan having a hugely successful animation industry while China does not (do largely in part to censorship killing everyone's desire to even try) hurts China's national pride, so they bootleg anime wholesale and upgrade with Chinese names and a new coat of paint. It's enough to make Gene Simmon's son proud.
langgam said:
Hmmn, the batman movie from the Philippines with the midget spiderman did not make it to the list?
chudleycannonfodder replied to langgam:
Yeah, I thought the video, Bootleg Batman Ending would have made it.
But I guess this list was going for depressingly bad bootlegs, not hilarious and fun WTF?! bootlegs.
The Yellow Dart said:
aww... i was hoping for "He-Man, HE-MAN, I am He-Man!"
Joe said:
turkish Star Wars hurts my brain
ZADL said:
Person A: "Hi, I'm a successful Turkish Movie Director."
Person B: "How very nice for you. I see you're missing the top half of your head."
Person A: "Yes, it is required that we have our brains completely removed from our bodies and ground into paste before we are allowed to know what a camera is."
Person B: "Well, that would explain things then. Would you like me to kill you and put you out of your misery?"
Person A: "Yes, please!"
Joey Arrow said:
That Turkish Star Wars is awesome. It even uses sound fx and music from Flash Gordon. It is the best of the worst. Great list.
Deacon Blues said:
I think an article that requires you to watch 11 hours of Youtube videos in order to enjoy it is a worse idea than any of the films on this list.
J.H. said:
Apparently someone hasn't seen the Korean Super-Batman v. Mazinger Z! It is live action and completely awesome in its awfulness!
Greymattersplat said:
For years, I owned a copy of 3 Dev Adam (3 Mighty Men) that had sometime missing from the very beginning and had only the original Turkish audio track. It drove me more than a little nutty, but eventually I found a copy that was not only complete, but subtitled! It was one of the crowning achievements of my life. I also own a copy of the Alyas Batman, the Batman musical from the Philippines mentioned here in the comments.
Somebody shoot me...
Metal Detecting Finds said:
Is it sad that I actually got a little creeped out by Turkish Exorcist?
Julius Gryphon said:
"[Indian] Superman is a skinny dork with a homemade costume."
Did I miss something? In the clip I saw Supe didn't look all that skinny. He looked more like SuperHost, the old television movie marathon host.
Asat replied to Julius Gryphon:
That's Indian "skinny", meaning "less than obese". Unlike American skinny, which means "eating disorder".
BTW, nice go-go boots, Superman. I'm glad you're finally taking some fashion cues from ABBA.
Spekkio said:
Bricken, why do you insult us brazilian fans?
The trapalhões was ment as a parody(a really crappy one) but as a parody, none the less. I' ve seen Epic Movie, and yet I don' t say that it represents the general mindset of america' s comedy.
That movie was made by inane comedians to stupid people.
SoonerMagic replied to Spekkio:
That's a fair point. There is probably a list somewhere on a foreign website that has Date Move, Epic Movie and all the other crappy Something Movies on it. Those don't make American cinema look to great.
He mentioned that it was meant to be a parody. If he was sarcastic about the quality of the comedy, that's just the style of the site. If you haven't noticed, he says a lot worse about American properties all the time.
Spekkio replied to ZADL:
The point is: No matter how crappy (and oh boy, it is crappy) the movie is, it is not a knock-off. Were he mocking The Trapalhoes comedy, I would be the first to agree, but he says it is a knock-off when clearly it isn't.
OK, point made. Is it worth making a big deal over? Or even mentioning? I hardly think that one technicality is an insult to Brazilian fans.
Anonymous replied to Spekkio:
Yeah, cause this article really makes BRAZIL look bad. Think of the turkish TR fans you selfish jerk.
Spekkio replied to Anonymous:
The Turkish Movies were remakes of the movies, and ad hominens don't make you right. By Rob's logic, Space Balls is a Knock-off then.
Monkey boy replied to Spekkio:
Take a joke, buddy. Are all Brazilians so uptight, or is it just you?
For the record, I think whether parody or remake, the tramps film can still qualify as a "knock off".
Hugo replied to Monkey boy:
I'm brazilian and i have seen "comedy" on brazilian tv that makes this movie look like a Orson Welles flick starring laurence olivier.
Spekkio replied to Monkey boy:
Here, pal, maybe this can help teach you the difference between fact and opinion,
http://pbskids.org/arthur/games/factsopinions/
Monkey boy replied to Spekkio:
I'd like to post a snarky link to a website that would help you get the stick out of your ass, but I'm pretty sure it's lodged way up there for that to do any good. Seriously douche you're like Isaac Hayes...it's fine when south park (topless robot)lampoons everything else, but god forbid they TRAMPle on your precious Scientology (fine Brazilian comedy). Seriously friend I'd visit a proctologist asap and get yourself xrayed because there's gotta be a baseball bat or a badger shoved wayyyyy up there
Necronomic Forecast said:
how have I gone this long without ever hearing the phrase "Turkish Star Wars?!"
Boscoe replied to Necronomic Forecast:
...because you only discovered the internet yesterday? :P
Geoff said:
So much for Trek being the most exportable TV series in history - even it bowed down to the might that is the Turkish remake. Maybe if Roddenberry had put a Turk on the bridge crew, things might have turned out better....
Good list, one of the better one year.
Ormsby said:
Wasn't there a Chinese movie called Bruce Lee in Hell, where Bruce Lee went to hell and he joined with Popeye to fight the evil Dracula and James Bond (who I guess to the Chinese is evil)?
Ethan Kaye replied to Ormsby:
Yes. It's called "The Dragon Lives Again" and I own a copy. Popeye isn't even the biggest surprise. Bruce Lee teams up with Popeye and Kaine from "Kung Fu" against the combined forces of The Godfather, Emanuelle, Dracula, James Bond, Zatoichi, and the Exorcist. Broad humor abounds, and the final shot of Bruce Lee flying off to heaven is hilarious.
Monkey boy said:
Good Christ turkish star wars is unwatchable. I got through 3 minutes of that 9 minute clip before I realized I was pretty much just watching the same 20 seconds of footage. Guy does a flip, punches the shit out of some red monsters, clip of the bad guy (I guess?) a few feet away, clip of same bad guy in space shipapparently at the same time, spliced in star wars footage, repeat. And Jesus Christ the fucking noise those red monsters make (which is repeated ad nauseum whenever they appear) is the worst fucking noise I have ever heard. I'd rather listen to that sound that makes people crap themselves. Good god. That wasn't even funny. It just made me literally sad.
otter said:
WOW!!!! He split that cat in half!!!!! The turks rule!!!! The "Darth Vader" looked like Lucas....He split that cat in half!!!!
Brion said:
Wayyyyyy to much synchronizing dancing.
That Turkish Star Wars was pretty much 10 minutes of the same exact scene of that jumping guy.
Jaice said:
I couldn't stop laughing listening to Turkish Spider-Man giggle.
"Hoho, hee hee, these rodents are going to eat his eyes. HA HA. HO HO. HEE. *SNORT*. HA."
nightdreamer said:
How the hell do you write this list and not include Japanese Spider-man?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcxioU7AMM4
Better not miss that when the inevitable "10 MORE Completely..." post comes.
intensejack replied to nightdreamer:
Holy shit! There's even a giant fucking robot! Quick, summon the Spiderzord and prepare for combat!
Greymattersplat replied to intensejack:
Funny story...without Japanese Spider-Man, there would be no Power Rangers.
It's true! They'd had the kaiju stuff, including giant robots for forever...but they'd never actually given any of the robots an actual pilot until Spider-Man. Apparently, people really responded to the idea, and it has since become a staple of the genre. There are more details out there, but I don't recall them offhand. As it is, I fully admit that the only reason I know this is because I was just reading about it a couple of weeks ago, and I really wish I could remember where so I could point you all to the article.
Ethan Kaye replied to nightdreamer:
It's a TV show, not a movie. Trust me, it was far from forgotten.
LBD "Nytetrayn" replied to nightdreamer:
I thought that the Japanese Spider-man was officially licensed, though? That would disqualify it as a knock-off, if so, at least in the normal sense.
demoncat said:
This list shows a few things that one the film makers who made the films on the list really worked with the cheapest budgets they could and the turks are the kings when it comes to bootlegs and a fast disregard for copy right law. not to mention Turkish star wars would proalby make George Lucas scream with fright and want to re do the holiday special
Weazel1 said:
I...I think a part of my soul just died.
Ryan said:
You should have posted Lady Terminator. I picked that one up based solely on the tagline on the cover. "first she mates, then she terminates."
Delk said:
I hate to admit it, but there is a German E.T. "remake" out there - Remake as in downright terrifying porn...
Let's hope Spielberg doesn't retaliate with Downfall II: Eva Braun does the Eastern Front
Odkin said:
Did anyone else freeze frame on the glimpse of Uhura booty in the Turkish Star Trek?
Sadly, I can tell from the character names that they are remaking "The Man Trap" - the Salt Vampire episode.
Ramone said:
Frankly I'm surprised the term to "suede" for making crappy versions of movies wasn't superseded by the term to "turk" it.
Adam said:
To be fair, Indian Superman looks more believable than Brandon Routh. For as much as that means.
Renton said:
As a Turk, I don't know if I should be proud or ashamed of these movies.
Monkey boy replied to Renton:
You could take a cue from spekkio up there and totally lose your shit.
maachubo said:
This list has helped me realize what's wrong with American cinema. Not enough scantily-clad dancing girls.
Seriously, Hollywood, get on that.
Rocket Raccoon said:
What? No Bollywood Fight Club? If you want a movie that is so amazingly far from the original that is's no longer the same movie THIS IS IT!!!
JayWicky said:
The same exact list must have been featured on every vaguely geek-themed blog in the last five years. Wake up, people, there's a ton of other non-U.S. rip-offs who have yet to reach the exposure of the same old three "Turkish [insert sci-fi property name here]" examples. Where are all the awful Koreans knock-offs of Japanese animation ? Are you even aware that there are *several* Turkish Batman and Superman rip-offs ? Where are Shaktiman (Indian Superman), Aryaman (Indian Star Wars) and Hatim (Indian Lord of the Rings)? I expect better things than a retread of an ages-old Seanbaby or Cracked list from Topless Robot, but maybe I shouldn't.
A. Biro said:
I could watch Indian Superman alllllllllll day
FadR said:
What i learned from Turkish Star Wars:
If you decapitate your Enemy, be carefull where to throw the Head, cause it will blow up real good.
Winzerous said:
Should of added the Japanese Spiderman with the giant transforming robot.
Nicnac said:
sorry guys... the absolute greatest travesty to miss this list is... BY FAR,
Govinda as Superman and Kimi Katkar as Spidergirl: Check out the shadow under their feet when flying and make sure to stick around for the fight scene:
Nicnac said:
um on the above... tight dancing at 1:00 and awesome fight at 2:30
13luemoons said:
I hated the Turkish Star Wars so much, I'm showing it to my friends and my dad, who are and were huge Star Wars fans.
I want to hear them screaming "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS", because that's what I was saying to myself the whole time.
Bruce said:
I can't believe you didn't mention the Italian Spiderman.
Italian Spiderman
Bruce said:
sorry, bollixed the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvNLlwkwP64
Romanticide said:
I admit that I saw 3 dev adam... and it was awesome! Maybe it was the fact that I saw it for free in a room full of nerds(oither masterpieces of the night were Vampirella, and the first version of fantastic four), but one couldn't help but laugh at how bad it was...
The Man With Two Brains said:
In the Turkish Star Trek, when the "pioneer team" beams down to the planet, that's the Pink Floyd song "Echoes" playing.
OM said:
...Sorry, but the Turkish Star Trek translation you should have linked to was *this* one:
rickicker said:
how about that indonesian power rangers and ben10 ripoff i sent ya?
Anonymous said:
I thought the Turkish star trek and star was were superior to the 'real' versions.
LBD "Nytetrayn" said:
I just want to stand up and say I enjoyed My Cousin Vinny. It's especially enjoyable after playing a lot of Phoenix Wright.
I'm still convinced that it inspired Edgeworth's attire.
akiratrooper said:
Oh these turks...
but yeah, I hope anyone of you remember a mayor of a town that sued a director claiming that he's using their town's name, hence stealing it?
And yeah, the town's name is Batman.
wednesday said:
I actually want to see a Santo/Captain America team-up now. That'd be too badass.
Jck1634 said:
FAIL!
The indian version of 'My Cousin Vinny' is actually a film called Aks. It's the Indian version of Face-Off.
Blargh said:
Lol awesome list and finally someone sues bollywood I mean seriously the plagiarism have been going on for too long and it's ruining bollywood movie for me. Btw just a note the "Indian" Superman is not an indian movie it's Sri Lankan. Not the same nationality.
Waldo Jeffers said:
You don't speak a damn word of any of the languages these films are in, do you. You have absolutely no CLUE what the quality of the dialogue is, do you.
OK, granted, it's probably awful. But it still makes the whole thing feel a little bit Ugly American.
vapor king said:
Great collection of stuff here, how about that exorcist one, creepy. lol
rickicker said:
the fact that there IS a "Face/Off" knockoff suddenly puts this list on an ever higher level ofAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGHHH!!
free movie downloads said:
Turkish Star Trek is awesome. I had seen part of Turkish Star Wars before, but a scene by scene knock off of TOS? I know what I'm doing the rest of the night.
guest2220 said:
I like the assembly line fighting in batman.. lol
bernard said:
this whole article is just a compilation of reasons why americans are despised everywhere in the world. way to go author!
"It's about scantily clad girls dancing to awful, shrieky music." Well, we have Limp Bizkit, Nickelback and Insane Clown Posse here. And we don't have scantily clad women here because of all the obesity in this fine, fine nation.
This could have been a great film article weren't the author a completely ignorant ethnocentric bastard.
Ethan Kaye replied to bernard:
No it couldn't have, these movies suck.
yuan said:
Videos were taken down due to Copyright Infringement
Asat said:
Before I discovered Topless Robot, I knew damn well that there were a lot of geeks who just could not shut the fuck up about Star Wars even if you held an icepick against their throats. But seriously, I had no idea that so many spent so much time with one hand rubbing at their dick and the other fretfully typing out "Best Of/Worst Of" lists.
Just for once can't we get through one of these without the goddamn Jedi strutting onstage for another undeserveds encore? IT'S OVER! EVEN THE HARDCORE FANS ADMIT IT WAS OVER WHEN THE CREDIT FOR THE THIRD FILM ENDED.
Cripes, even people with OCD sometimes refrain from mentioning how much they love washing their hands.
Zach said:
I can't stand Kristen Kreuk. If she were dead not only would Smallville's earlier seasons have been a better show (for lack of Lana effing Lang) but she wouldn't be on Chuck right now ruining life.
But to adhere to the rules on this one I'd just say Lana Lang. Go back in time to the episode where she dies before Clark brings her back (at the cost of his dad dying) and just make sure he doesn't make that stupid choice.
robotsrobotsrobots said:
These films are so bad they nade me cry
rickicker replied to robotsrobotsrobots:
i'll just assume that when they "nade" you cry, then it's a VERY bad thing >:3
Vapor King said:
The turkish exorcist looks absolutey freaky.
Mad said:
Turkish Exorcist - 0:57 I feel like I'm having a heart attack - maybe I should have an Altoid?
I wonder if anyone has written bad fanfic for these movies? Those would be hilarious.
