The 13 Worst Fictional Corporations To Work For

By Merrill Hagan in Daily Lists, Movies
Friday, February 12, 2010 at 8:04 am
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​Working sucks. Life would be a whole lot easier if you could stay home and play Xbox all day, but eventually, you're going to need more money to buy new games. And also, food and shelter too. And maybe the new Sideshow toys. Point is, everyone has to go to work. It's a fact of life.

But some jobs are maybe a little worse than others -- sometimes they might pay less, sometimes they may have worse health benefits, and sometimes, you just have a 99% chance of getting violently killed there while you work. Here are 13 of the worst places you could ever hope to find a job in genre films. Because sometimes, working as a Wal-Mart greeter isn't the worst job in the world.



13) The Gloucestershire Somerfield Supermarket

Working in retail is the worst. You have to be pleasant to irate customers your entire shift, all the while cleaning up all the messes they make and answering their insane questions. But working at the Somerfield Supermarket from Hot Fuzz is just a little bit more awful. Simon Skinner expects his employees to do battle with the local police as he prepares for his final getaway. Forget it, dude. Our Office Depot manager couldn't even get us to clean the bathroom at the end of our shift.

12) Team Zissou
While there are undoubtedly fantastic fringe benefits to working on Team Zissou, like free tennis shoes, a topless co-worker and all the Portuguese Bowie covers you can handle, the overall experience looks pretty horrid. The beginning of The Life Aquatic establishes that Steve Zissou's best friend was eaten by a jaguar shark during the filming of their last documentary. And when you factor in pirate attacks, deadly helicopter accidents, and compulsory robberies, the awesome powder blue tennis shoes don't seem like such a bargain.

11) Clamp Enterprises
At first glance, Clamp Enterprises, from Gremlins 2, doesn't seem so bad. Sure, it's really weird that a genetics lab, television studio and architectural firm all share the same building. But, on the plus side, there's apparently a great frozen yogurt stand with toppings. Where Clamp takes a tumble is in its crisis management. If security can't stop three-foot tall reptiles with bad attitudes, how in the hell are they going to protect you when something serious goes down?

10) The Men In Black
The Men In Black have some pretty amazing jobs. They are some of the few people who ever get to learn all of the secrets of planet Earth and its relations with aliens, plus they get amazing technology, snazzy outfits and pretty much carte blanche to do whatever they want. There are some downsides, like having your fingerprints burned off, breaking contact with anyone you ever knew and forced line dancing to Will Smith songs, but for some people, that might be a good trade off. That is until retirement time. The memory of your entire existence is wiped away clean with the Neuralyzer. So, you get to spend your golden years with no memories, no friends and no penchant from a job you never knew you had.

9) Stark Industries
Being a scientist for Stark Industries has to be about one of the worst career moves you could make. Your CEO is a barely-functional alcoholic who, besides making rash decisions, like, say, abandoning his company's Defense Department contracts over some fast-food cheeseburgers, is also way smarter that you will ever be. Seriously, the dude built a miniaturized arc reactor for a heart in an Afghani cave. On top of that, you'd frequently be caught in power plays between Stark and his other executives, like Obadiah Stane. You'd be better off working in some lab creating erectile dysfunction cures than spending ten minutes at Stark Industries.

8) Ghostbusters
As a Ghostbuster, every minute you're on the job, you're being chased and attacked by some very angry supernatural beings. And when you're not on the job, you're living in a dilapidated firehouse that even company founder Egon Spengler says should be condemned. Then, there's the matter of equipment. Each Ghostbuster has an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on their back. And if you happen to cross your firing streams with another Ghostbuster in one of your fights with a ghost, every molecule in your body explodes at the speed of light. On the plus side, the jumpsuits are pretty cool.
Tags: Aliens, Ghostbusters, Gremlins, Iron Man, Robocop, Spider-man, Terminator

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