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Rob --I didn't reply because it was 1am. But for the next two weeks, I get these sent to me randomly (I've picked just a small percentage for your convenience):
Tweets from the Death Star.Death Star During the Rebel Assault. Let's make this happen.
@Clone0983 @TK421 Where u at bro?I kind of hate it when Bill has a great idea, but dammit if this wasn't one of 'em. This week's theme in "Tweets from the Death Star." Five -- count 'em, 5 -- entries per person. Must follow all Twitter rules -- 140 characters, @s and #s, etc. If you fudge the character count a little you might be able to get an Honorable Mention, but you can't win, so check before you post. The contest ends at 12:01 am EST on Monday, June 21st. Happy tweeting, my friends, and have an excellent weekend. And remember, if you're going to be lubricating any metal this weekend, please consider graphite and paraffin wax. It;s ComicsNix approved!
@Prisoner2323: Can the trash compactor make MORE fucking noise? COME ON!!
@Clone5462: Just walked right passed Vader in the docking bay, WTF!!!???
@Clone7323: @Clone6323 I'm telling you, they looked really similar. They weren't bf/gf. They could have been brother sister for all we know.
@Clone9428: funny video of @Clone6834 banging his head on the door. Dumbass link to video.
@Motti: And they all just sat there. The fucking guy is choking me with his fucking mind, and they do NOTHING!!!!
@Clone0983: @TK421 Dude! C'mon. Answer me!!!!!!
@GrandMoffT: Some pissant just asked me if I wanted to evacuate. I was like: "Evacuate this"(pointed to my crotch)
More links from around the web!
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Meanwhile during the Rebel battle over the Death Star...... @Rebel Fleet: *gasp* Red Sq--gasp-rn---Hea--gasp--over and hel--gasp. @Admiral Akbar: What the fuck are you saying? No one can understand you! We're losing ships faster than a Corelian Crusier goes in to Lightspeed! ANNUNCIATE for fucksake!
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StormtrooperTK898: Hey guys! I'm new here. I start patrolling in the south hemisphere next week. Does everyone walk upside down there? StormtrooperTK898: Also, why do we always have to carry our guns? Isn't it just us in here?
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Chewbacca sneaks a read through Luke's tweets while he is under water in the trash compactor. Here's the last exchange: @TaschePro69 @LadyLoverLuke Dude, where are u? Thot u were coming out to pick up some power converters?? @LadyLoverLuke @TaschePro69 Nah, Cant! Uncle making me clean some stupid droids he just bought. I HATE him! @TacschePro69 @LadyLoverLuke Man, u missin it! Im closing up shop and takin the boys to Biggs timeshare on Alderaan!! Gonna party for a few days!! @LadyLoverLuke @TaschePro69 I'm ALWAYS missing the fun out here on this fucking farm!!! @TacschePro69 @LadyLoverLuke Lame! Biggs has a keg and ses getting Oola girl strippers to dance for his makin it thru the academy!! @TacschePro69 @LadyLoverLuke Sure! Rub it in!! My uncle is such an ASS HOLE!!! I hope he fries for this! @TacschePro69 @LadyLoverLuke Na, ur uncle's pretty cool. Don't forget he supports ur lazy ass! :) There will be other times. @LadyLoverLuke @TaschePro69 GREAT! Not that gay new protocol droid is telling me the R2 unit we just got ran away! FML!!!
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@RebelAgent1: @RebelAgent425 Don't worry, they would never forget us!
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Wow, I guess Porkins do fl... nope I was wrong my bad-
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@TIEPILOT23: what are all these goddamn little robots racing around the middle of hallways? I keep tripping over the little bastards.
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@clone5623: Dammit. I had a Timeshare on Alderon!
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@DSSystemPR: Sorry about that Alderaan incident. At least we didn't poison their oceans for generations to come. #DSCares
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@TheRealDarthVader Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit smoking.
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Lies! I didn't tweet a single one of those!
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@theREALprincessleia @spock You're right, Vulcans do do it better
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Love BBW!!?? Epic win!
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@vader @twitter please verify me @vader @twitter since maul has been dead 20 years can I get @darth #kthxbai
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@TK 124: It's the two year mark of TK 421's death, I go and see his family. I can't help, but think: Damn his daughter's really filled out
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TK 124: It's the two year mark of TK 421's death, so I go and see his family. I can't help, but think: Damn his daughter's really filled out
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TK 124: Jesus, looking at the Emperor makes me thank the maker that I remembered to pay up my HMO this month. TK 124: Ugh, can I come to the bar and not hear Vader bitching about lost time with his kid?
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C3PO: MY KIND? The cantina doesn't serve MY KIND? I could read that one of two ways, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and just assume they don't like droids.
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StormTrooper6969: Just lost all my investment property on Alderan and now I have to work late because of a rebel X-wing attack, don't see how today could get any worse
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Best one yet!
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@TrooperTed: Hitting stuff is out of my pay grade. Talk to the shop steward.
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@TK420: Installing a toilet main in the detention level. Anyone have a hydrospanner?
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@DarthVader: Is enjoying "Bring your daughter to work" day. (I know my posts are too late but I'm just having fun)
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never twittered. Saw it once on my wifes computer. seemed stupid so I left it alone. Don't have time to waste on boring tech.
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@clone5124: DV approved my vacation for next year. Will be visitng Jabba's infamous coliseum. Am taking bucket loads of paraffin for some robot lovin.
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@clone84354: by the sith, Im sick of this white. Why cant we have different amrors with different color? grrrr @clone64324: now that you mention it why havent i thought of it before. it makes perfect sense. vote. @clone94121: sacriligeous. how dare you think such thoughts? @clone31337: i like pink @clone1233: I have a better idea. why not stickers. that way you can remove them when you dont like. @clone4535: dude. serious great ideas here. should patent it. @clone31337: i also like feathered fedoras
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@Clone2124: Flyin my fighter with my feet while tweeting...Yay @Luke: R U the one flying like a epileptic bee below the trash compactor @Clone2124: That's moi. :P @Luke: Just shot an psycho bee clone with my toes while tweeting...*thumbs up*
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@bobba1: still in pit of sarlacc, can no longer feel toes:( where are u guys???
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@bobba1: BOOOOORRRRREEEEDDD!!! thers like nothing 2 do down here, UGGGG!!! hit me up it stinks down here, cummon guys talk me :(
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@bobba1:still in pit of sarlacc:( wen i get out here im totaly gunna kill that prick solo. what are u guys up2???
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@bobba1: just flew in2 pit of sarlacc, 2day totaly sucks :( any ideas???
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hahahahaha, #tenfootboner is perhaps the funniest twitter topic I have ever seen. What a dick. And by dick I meant the guy operating the laser...pun intended.
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@Clone212 Dude check out this moon. @Clone574 Arrrrggghhh!!! that's no moon! It's Goatse!
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@HanSolo. Obi One? More like BBQ One! @LukeSkywalker. Dude, too soon.
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@TK421: Goddamn scanning crew's, always dropping shit and asking me to pick it up...
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Alas, 55 minutes late, other wise I believe you would have won.
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@Clone80085: Ewok Barbecue is nothing compared to Wookee stir fry.
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@Clone1337: I love when Vader passes by. He smells like the ewok barbecue!
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PLeia69: Wish @Potimus_Prime were here :(
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@Engineer115: Do we get hazard pay for working so close to the laser without a rail?
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Thats hilarious.
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@EmpororSid: Fine, I didnt need that deathstar anyway. I'm gonna build an even bigger one with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the deathstar!
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SkywalkerRogue: Just blew up Deathstar. Explosion was epic. Thought there woulda been a ring from blast debris...
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PimpTrooper420: @CloneThis We can't access TR from our work stations any more. FML Apparently this exhaust port shield instalation was falling too far behind schedule. SUCK
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@LukeSkywalker: You turned off your targeting computer, what a noob! MouseRobot177: @TK421 Oh shit! Just ran into walking carpet and it yelled at me! @ImperialEngineer42: Where are the supplies so I can fixed that goddamn external exhaust port?
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just to tweetify it: StormTrooper43: @StormTrooper007 Fuck that clone shit, mine is definitely bigger than yours!
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and not to get to technical but the first name (ie. Red Leader:) does not count in the 140 character count... But has to be less than 20 characters
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hankthepilot: @mofftarkin It's Hank, your shuttle pilot. Just wanted let you know that we are good to go when you are. DeathStarLocal4121: @mofftarkin I understand that you want to get the exhaust port fixed, but the #Wookies are already over their work quota. C3P0: @DarthVader Maker?? Happy Father's Day!! GunnerTenn: Heading to #Alderaan... Glad my R&R request went through... Heard it is a beautiful place. MottTarkin: Pwned. RT @GunnerTenn: Heading to #Alderaan... Glad my R&R request went through... Heard it is a beautiful place.
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Fuck that clone shit, mine is definitely bigger than yours!
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WINNER!
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@Clone8735: Hey, did you realize that the DS looks like a big floating boob? @Clone4523: Closest you'll ever come to one. @Clone8735: @Clone45323: You guys ever think that maybe they should've cloned one of the Jedi? Then I could be all Bwanananana magic n shit @Clone2334: Yeah, have fun with that 1 inch Yoda dick, lol. @Clone8735: STFU, everyone knows the odd #s are bottoms. RT Clone2334: @Clone8735: STFU, everyone knows the odd #s are bottoms. @Clone2334: @Clone4523: I h8 you guys.
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@ GrandestMoffTarkin: @senatororgana i'm blowing your planet up now lol. wait, you probably won't see this tweet rebelscum lol
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@ImperialDesign: @LordVader look, I've already told u; an "exhaust port" does NOT NEED A COVER. Jesus, u act like the Deathstar lives or dies by this cover.
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TheRealLordVader: I must remember 2 Google Bespin 2morrow. RT @LandoOfBespin Looks like #RebelAlliance hates the Empire almost as much as I do! ROTFLMAO.
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DeepSpaceCntrctr: @DVader Heard something about killing space teddy bears? Don't think we're rea--
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@Trooper117-91: Full scale attack on level 317b. We need reinforcements! NOW!!!!! @Trooper55-57: @Trooper117-91 Dude, it's like one guy ROFLMAO! @Trooper117-91: STFU!
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@Mallatobuck: @Chewie We are so proud of you!! If anyone deserves a medal, it is you.@Lumpawaroo says arrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhharooooh
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Chewie: @Mallatobuck Home soon. I think I'm about to be presented a medal with @thesolohan & @lastjediluke. Bake me some Wookie Cookies.
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TheRealPrincessLeia: DM me the information! Don't need the whole galxy knowing!! RT @KyleKatarn: @TheRealPrincessLeia Got the plans! Woot!!
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DSdock12: @tiefi467 after you finish with that Aluminum Eagle ship, pick up some Bantha milk on the way back pls
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clone2344: RT @clone5476 RT @clone3265 RT @clone1475 RT @clone6214 RT @clone0987 RT @clone6265 RT @clone2265 @boba Happy Birthday Bro!!
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This is probably coming in at 440 entries to late, but when you want something posted towards someone else it's : @intendedperson. If you're just tweeting then it's just your name, example: Red Leader: @goldleader shitty flying bro Gold Leader: @redleader whatever, at least I'm not fat.
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@Storm_troopah45: Smokin' dagobah weed w/ the guys... Fucking amazing high... @Storm_troopah45: We found this giant-ass button and @imp_guard4 dared me to push it lol! @Storm_troopah45: HOLY FUCK WE JUST BLEW THE SHIT OUT OF ALDERAAN OH MAN
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@stormtrooper2434: @stormtrooper3011...we have the The Loch Ness Monster held up in the trash compactor and the just cought Sasquatch..... This is SOOOOOOO AWSOME!!!!
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@storm_troopah46: Happy b-day to my bff on Aldera- oh wait...
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@vaderrulz: @OnStar, I've been in an accident
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@so_low: On Death Star. Security's super lax. @OhBeOne had time to disable the tractor beam and sword fight before we got caught. Maybe it's a trap? ----------------------- @Criss_Angel: Thanks @OhBeOne for showing me #mindfreak. You're the best, bro! @OhBeOne: It's #mindtrick, not #mindfreak. ---------------------------- @DS_engineering: I think that if we have turbolasers, shields, hyperspace drives and AI, we should also have homing missiles to use vs. X-Wings. #epicfail ---------------------- @The_Big_V: Hey, @Skywalkah_T16, aren't you going to tell me #happyfathersday?
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@Engineer549:WTF? Vent cover backordered again, SRSLY?!?! @StarGuard: @EndorTrper34, dude you got your ass handed to you by a Ewok, told you it was best to stay close to the Star @TieFlyer69: Just got promoted to Vader's squad, suddenly feel like a red shirt @Emperor1: Does anybody have a throat lozenge, this Death Star is drafty @STrooper34097893899: HOW CAN IT BE THIS HARD TO FIND A HELMET THAT FITS WELL...WE ALL HAVE THE SAME SIZE HEAD!!
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@Janitor: WTF? @Maintenance Trash and shit pouring out of the toilets, who did the plumbing in this place? @Maintenance: All Staff Memo - glitch in trash compactor, toilets out of order. Strprs, pls use in-suit systems. @Strpr0068: @Strpr0069 Did you hear that? Now they want us to shit in our fucking suits... @STrpr0069: @STrpr0068 I know. Rude! Btw, just saw a huge monkey with a crossbow. Def need 2 lay off the acid. @DS_Public_Relations: All Staff; "Death Star" name generating bad PR, now called "Justice Star". Pls change email Sig accordingly.
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501STud: Patrolled D-Bay9 today. Saw HUGE chunk text float by outside. Need to lay off the death sticks.
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@Obi1: @DeathStar That's no moon. @DeathStar: @Obi1 I'm totally mooning you right now.
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HA HA HA HA.............good one.
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@CivilianContractor: I'm just here to replace the lighting fixtures. FML!
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@Trooper1404: Is this another drill? Really? C'mon! @Trooper1227: 3 more days till med insurance kicks in! @RecordsDept: Anybody seen the Death Star plans recently? @Maintenance89: Exhaust port is bigger than a womprat! Someone should tell Tarkin. @SandTrooper: Next time just shoot the F%*^ING pod!
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@Trooper4657: Dude relax. It's only 2 meters wide, I'll board it up tomorrow.
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@rebels: Sorry guys. We apologise for the unnessasary deaths... lolz
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@Random engineer: Rebuilding the deathstar. Vaders paying me loads! Got a lovely wife and two beautiful daughters, with another littlen on the way. What could go wrong! :D
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First post by Vader @anakin: Hi, I'm Vader now dudes, Darth Vader. Follow me on my new account as I take down the rebel alliance! Final post by Vader. @Vader87: Just got owned. Dang that emperors heavy!
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@Porkins: Dude u got Pwned. Noob.
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That was one of mine, my bad. Hey, check this out: http://www.allscifi.com/aridor/index.asp (some character pages are NSFW but the main page is ok). It's some bizarre mostly text based web game where you "own" sci-fi characters and can punish them. It's like a uber mash up of sci fi sluts thrown into an interactive FFF. Not as good as LOTRD but hey, at least you can see some tits.
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When did Chewbacca become True Blood's Lafayette :P?
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@AsSeenOnCoruscant: Check out the new wookie hair removal system from Old Republic era that recently was rediscovered! http://bit.ly/ackzdw
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thebeststrooper: @Palpatine just saw @Vader getting carried by some blonde kid. wtf? thebeststrooper: @Palpatine now hes takin off his helmet, can he even live without that? thebeststrooper: @Palpatine blonde kid's leaving for escape pods, were r u? thebeststrooper: @DStarSec dude, what's going on? Looks like @Vader dead thebeststrooper: Just watched my boss die, the #deathstar blowin up and no more escape pods. #FML
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@Stormtrooper2347: I got the surveillance footage of Leia in her cell! UNCENSORED! http://bit.ly/defcon (As an aside, that is one of the coolest bit.ly link names.
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@Ewok47: It sucks we cant eat the people. They taste so good. I like organs best. Stupid effeminate golden god. Is it too late to worship the devil?
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@CloneTrooper: OK who knocked up my gf? I swear I'll put ya'll on the hook for child support unless we can convince Vader to blow up her lawyer's homeworld @Former_Republic_Clone: To think, a few years ago, I was trying to stop this place from ever being built. Now thanks to this place, I have dental. Life's funny @Emperor_Palpatine: I like to think of this place as Satan's bowling ball @Stormtrooper_Marksman: Seriously? You'll hit a tiny ship speeding around in 3 dimensions but you can't hit a yeti in a narrow hallway? There are 12 of you damnit! @CommonSenseStormtrooper: His idea to help Vader is to run up to him in the middle of a duel? He knows we have blasters, right? Range weapons that hit from a distance
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@THE_Emp Has anyone seen TK-421's helmut? Anyone? Apparently he "lost it" on the Lido deck. Please return to Lost and Found, ASAP. #fb
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Clone4739: @Clone5920 dude, I heard she made out with her TWIN brother! WTF! Clone5920: @Clone4739 well, twins are a fantasy of mine. Clone6693: Walked past the prisoners cell. WTF is up with her hair. I don't know whether to give her a brush or take a bite out of those cinnabuns. Vader: @Luke No. I am your father! And dude, we have some talking to do. Kissing your sister, really?! I know I haven't been there & all, but still
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@deathstartechsupport, doors closing waaay to fast,like pretty sure they would kill you fast. @stormtrooper4195 dude just seen a rebel use a grappling hook from our belts.looked in my belt and found one,WTF do we need these for?? @tiefighterpilot2765 holy shit dude,me and TFP4319 just got hand picked by vader to fly with him,drinks on me later. HanSolo @Lando, then I was like "where all fine here now" then I shot the console,epic
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GenBeers: I just got picked to be on Pimp my AT-AT! Woot!
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@DarthVader: @LordSidious I need more troopers..... and a new tie fighter.... and a new Death Star... @DarthVader: @LordSidious Bad news - One less Death Star. Good news - One less Jedi. @SkywalkerJr: Haha, I've got so much Force I'm tweeting while I'm bombing! #TheForce @OldBen: Vader thinks he killed me... he just made me immortal! Now I can still help Luke. #TheForce @Trooper200984: All I get to see while sitting here is a great big green laser..... wait..... what's that going the other direction?...
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@Armory Maybe letting that one-eyed intern from a couple of weeks ago calibrate the aim on the blasters wasn't such a good idea? @Trooper998 Stationed on Tatooine, do you have any suggestions for how to keep the sand out of the armor? @ImperialGuard2 LOL, I just farted, the emperor thought it was the smell of Vader's skin :D @Vader I wish you'd decorate the Death Star with some nice banners at least once when I'm visiting... @Everybody if I hear one more joke about smoking three packs a day I will start choking people
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@DeathStarGiftShop: @MilleniumFalcon Welcome to the DeathStar(tm). Be sure to stop by the Gift Shop during your stay; special this week on official DeathStar(tm) blueprints.
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@Palpatine When can we get some customized chairs also? @Stormtrooper26983736 getting this uniform off to take a dump is a pain, am I right? These X-Wings are toast. Don't the rebels know TIE fighters sound way cooler? @Ackbar, it IS a trap. Sucker! @TIE Fighter2. Don't take the shot. @Vader is on the leader.
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@ProfessorSolo: Gonna shove blaster SO far up Trooper's poop hole! Ditching rookie n snootie=BONUS! @ProfessorSolo: Not enuf Han Blaster for 1000 closest friends tho! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!1!!!!11!!!!!!! @Clone#whocares: #CloneMarv n i pulled tractor control guard duty. Will tell him his blast armor makes his @$$ look- SQUIRREL!!! @WasAniNowPissed: Note to self-put some metal grates on the F^&*ING exhaust ports for d-star2. @Notatallthejeditwin: When I @Biggs in his new mustache, I thot he was shooting porn in off hours!
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@Clone3989: Dude that beer night on Alderaan was awesome. @Clone768: You remember to pick up the D* plans? @Clone3989: Agh shit! I think I left them on a barstool!
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@Prisoner4Life(DStar):all the trash compactors on my level still shut down, been a week now, smells like tauntaun ass
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@XxCTaggexX: @Darth_Annie I fuckin TOLD YOU! No one ever listens to me around here!!! @NuteGun2nd: @DSid4eva Suck it, bitch! The #Mustafar_12 have their revenge.
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@Biggs_Red3: @Luke_Red5 at that speed are you sure you'll be able to pull out in time? @Luke_Red5: @Biggs_Red4 It'll be just like Beggar's Canyon back home. @Biggs_Red3: @Luke_Red5 Uh, dude. No one was supposed to know about that. We were pretty wasted.
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