@Clone0408: WTF? My kitchen exhaust just caught on fire!

@Clone9428: Cleaning exhaust vents. Bored. Just saw an X-wing fighter! O shi-

@ImperialDesigner: That trench leads right to the exhaust port. How'd I miss that? LOL, my bad!

@TK421: Nocked out, yelld at 4 not @ post, and lost uniform to boot. ASSigned 2 garding cell blok 1138. Could this day get ANY worse? FML

@Clone0103: @DarthSidious now to you see why an open exhaust port is a problem, F@CKER!

@Clone1028: Got security vid of @Clone3827 bumping head on door. He thought no 1 noticed. LOL Watch & comment: http://bit.ly/arcbHW

@Clone7934: Where is that prisoner from cell block 1138 at? Should have been transferred hours ago

@Pilot8762: Man, how come Vader's TIE got shields and stuff? I don't wanna get vaped by one shot!

@Motti: Talked to the architect. All bottomless chasms will be covered by next week.

@DarthSidious: @Vader Can you please refrain from choking the staff, they grow on trees. Oh wait. LOL

@ImperialGunner: This fucking journey is taking forever lol, almost in range now :(

@DeathStarContractor8008: Man I can't wait to get off this thing before someone attacks that exhaust port I left uncovered.

@Trooper 1387 I am pretty sure those were they droids we were looking for FML

@Trooper0602 Think we call call off tomorrow by claming we celebrate #lifeday

@Trooper1982 I swear I just heard #vader talking about selling someone named Jar Jar's cock to #jabbathehutt.

@BigPapaPalpintine You sure you don't want to to order a thermal exaust post cover? They are like 20 credit

@Trooper6923 I say we hack into the Skywalker kids radio and start telling him to use the force, because thats real

@Clone2172: @Clone0445 Just watched the WeirdAl video u linked. Not cool, man. My DAD was a clone, u ass.

@DarthSidious: @Vader Please don't choke the staff, they don't grow on trees, Oh wait. LMAO

That is what I meant to type, my bad.

@Stormtrooper67: Sara just dumped me.

@compactorKing: If this p!ss@nt doesn't stop standing on my eye stalk I'm gonna kick his...uh oh, someone flushed...time to go...

@Dianoga: Missed lunch today. Grump! >:(

@Chewbacca: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgh! Grr!

@Randall: @Dante I told you working here was a bad idea

@Dante: @Randall I'm not even supposed to be here today!

TIEpilot @Deathstar, Some Fatty totally just cut me off so I shot him.@Clone0276, did you hear him over the radio,"no I'm all..ahhh!"lol

@Trooper17: @Trooper16 you told me I didn't need to worry, man!

@Gold5: @GoldLeader Stay on target!

Clone6276: Stubbed toe on fukkin mouse droid AGAAAIN!!!

@ SpacePimpSolo: That's no moon. That's a space station, lol.

@Han: @Chewbacca WTF, did you leave outside the bridge.

@AdmiralAckbar: It's a Crap

@Clone9376 @Clone7245 You think your job sucks? Big green laser breezes past me and I don't even have a rail to lean against.

@Nerf_Herder No shit, Sherlock. RT @Ol_Ben That's no moon

@Mark Hamill: The moon is so beautiful tonight

@Alec Guinness: @Mark Hamill That's no moon, it's a space station.

ERguard1: @ERguard3,so you're telling me we get 401K for just standing around in a red bath robe?

ERguard3: @ERguard1, yea dude I'm putting my kids through college working this gig.

ERguard1: glad I have a secure job working on a structure that will never go under, Love you @HoneyBunny

@Janitor5520: Don't start this shit now. I'm just an independent contractor.
@Gunner2103: @Porkins Yo momma's so fat, before she sat down the main weapon was an outie.
@DeathStarHR: Found: brown hoodie robe. good condition. min scarring. old man smell.
@Clone3200: DV's out shooting rebels. We're shooting Telephone in his chamber in 5!!!
@Guard2644: Just saw Vader go into the cell of the only female in the galaxy. Had big S&M ball with him.

@CustodialClone418: @LeiaKitten Let me holla at ya! Holllla, Hollla, Holllaaaaaa, Holllaaaa, Hollaaaa...

@TieMeDown23: Tweetin' while tie-fightin. AwwW ye-

@Stormtrooper1332 Bumped head on closing door LOL! @Stormtrooper4 giving me shit.

@ pedro: jeff vader is not happy with the plumbings

LandoColt45: @HanSolo, you know that Leia chick, I hit dat.

HanSolo: @LandoColt45, BROFIST! she's a freak, kissed her brother, totally into wookie 3 ways.

@Vader: @Leia Is Darth Vader gonna have to choke a b!tch?

@BridgeCommander: Tarks just said "in our hour of triumph". We are boned.

@Stormtrooper4564 Tickets for Blue Oyster Cult tomorrow. I'm taking @Joyce.

@TIEpilot34: I got so trashed last night and flew straight into Endor. Sold my pants to some Ewoks for a cab ride home.

@R2-D2: Just got a hummer from the Death Star main computer while "Golden Rod" was hiding in the closet. XD I ♥ BBW.

@LukeSky @THREEPEEO! SHUT DOWN ALL THE GARBAGE MASHERS ON THE DETENTION LEVEL!

@Clone4523: Just saw Clone9485's Tie Fighter blown to pieces by an X-wing. No less than he deserved after taking my food from the fridge. #Rebelattack

@Palp Get a load of this fully armed & operational sex robot http://t.co/potimus

@CNNDeathStar Rebels attacking!! tune into Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer for more. It's totally a Star Wars name.

@NienNunb burblebludbrbelblruuurbleblurrrrb, Solo

@supertrooper007: WTF is Optimus doing here?

RebelAgent1: Boooored in my prison cell. Death Star food sucks. Pretty bummed Leia's gone. Hopeful our comrades will rescue me soon!

@R2D2DaShizit: Why do these MFer's not understand I am telling them Vader is their F'ing DAD! Beep wooo Beep Beep Wooo MFer's!!!!

@dvader: just 'interrogated' leia, good thing i still have some tp from jabba

@clone567: vader chokes some dude with the force and i have to clean up when his bowels empty??? FML!!!

@clone001: i h8 tatooine... the sand is so coarse and it gets everywhere! its f'n hot too!

@clone801:just brought the princess to her cell - good thing this suit is like wearing a cup, or she would have seen my blaster!

@pleia:nobody knows the trouble ive seen, nobody knows my sorrow... just singing in my cell... tweet your requests

Skywalker: @HanSolo, dude we should totally have a Keg party with the Ewoks after this.

HanSolo: @Skywalker, are you even old enough to drink? BTW I'm banging your underage twin Sister.

CUVader: "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine" wut? LOL ur dead d00d. #shitmymastersays

TC14luvrTC14: Pet mouse droid indicating Bigfoot just screamed at it WTF?

AlderaanCute: @MoffDiver: Sure, you're a pretty good moff, but are you a GRAND moff?

UFettUrAss: Slave 1 in pursuit of Milennium Falcon, OMG HATE YOU SO MUCH SOLO #followfriday

TC14luvrTC14: RT @TagNBinkRGay: God DAMN it, AGAIN?!

@Sarlacc: Mandalorian armor tastes like ass :(

@ewok3967: 911!! What wine goes with stormtrooper meat?
@ewok1138: I'd try a Chatteau Bernard '34....fruity but not too pretentious :)
@ewok3967: THX 1138!! U R LIFESAVER!! :)
@ewok1138: Nub Nub :)

@Stormtrooper3599 Can working here be any less depressing. Everything is b+w, who has the hate on for colour?
@Stormtrooper4598 so true. and the commute is a bitch.

@bigDaddyMof: @bigDaddyV whos holding ur leash bitch!

@Clone1138: @Clone3417 whoa V on all 4rs? Mof holding leash?

@bigDaddyV: why is my son's portrait in here?

@Clone5241: exhaust portal exposed? WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS?

@OB1KENOBI @LukeSky NOT DEAD! QUIT SHOOTING AND GET IN THE FALCON!

@Obi-Wan: It turns out being struck down does not make you stronger.

@Motti: Just one more day until retirement.

@CanteenBob: @MrStevens Jeff Vader just tried to order penne alla arrabiata!!

@BigDaddyDarth: @LukeJedi2B If I told you once, I told you 1000 times! No X-Wing racing around the exhaust ports!

@SenLeiaOrgana: Taken prisoner. Tortured. Homeworld blown up. Rescued by pirate, farmer, & wookie-ugh. Fell in garbage masher during escape. WORST DAY EVER!!1!

PorkiPork: Luke! Use the boost!
Skyrunner4506: Han! Do a barrel roll!

@Stormtrooper1688 The cable guy said he'd be here between 8 and 5. just cause I live on a space station they think I have nothing better to do than wait around all day.

@Stormtrooper4404 I have a bad feeling about this.

@Stormtrooper1128 @Stormtrooper4404 I miss Alderran :(

@Jinxo: Finished work on #deathstar! Off to Tatooine for R&R
@Jinxo: #rebels blew up #deathstar. Sigh. Gotta work on DS2
@Jinxo: @RunningDeer No worries, DS2 has force field, so nothing's gonna happen to it
@Jinxo: SON OF A BITCH
@Jinxo: Screw it, gonna work on Babylon Project

@RedLeader: All wings report in
@Red2: @RedLeader Standing by
@Anonymous: @RedLeader Red Foreman standing by
@Anonymous: @RedLeader Red Skelton standing by
@Anonymous: @RedLeader Red Dead Redemption standing by
@Anonymous: @RedLeader Red Rover standing by
@RedLeader @Red2 Wedge, i think we just got hijacked by 4chan

@IT-0Droid: Me and The Vade totally hit that after the torture session. Vade kept sayin' "Who's your daddy!"

@UselessMook1138: Lost Bob the other day WTB some safety rails in this place

@ReactorShaftTech5: Did an old man just fall past your station too?

@DarkMouthBreather: OMG There wuz only ONE set of Death Star plans?! WTF?!

WaxOnWaxMoff: Terrorist attack a government structure, and WE'RE the bad guys?! #NVR4GET

---

StormTrooper3482: I'm supposed to guarding the exhaust, but I'm on Twitter, LOL!

---

WaxOnWaxMoff: Seriously. The Jedi feel for Alderaan, but cheer when our moon-sized base full of human lives gets attacked?! #NVR4GET

---

StormTrooper7389: Totally called in sick today! Chillin on Naboo! Hopefully Tarkin doesn't yell at me on Monday!
StormTrooper9753: @StormTrooper7389 wouldn't worry about that.
StormTrooper7389: StormTrooper9753 Y?
StormTrooper9753: @StormTrooper7389 http://www.cnn.com
StormTrooper7389: @StormTrooper9753 LOL
StormTrooper7389: Anyone know of anywhere in the galaxy that is hiring?

@Dianoga: You know what would be great? If you guys threw something other than random scraps of metal down here.

@Dianoga: Hey, lunch! OM NOM NOM.

@Dianoga: What, lunch is still alive? Ewww. Cheap sons of bitches, won't even splurge for the already-rotted stuff.

@Dianoga: Ok, whoever had the bright idea to make me live in a trash compactor is going to DIE.

Falcon4Eva: @Greedo shot first. Fuck that guy.

Clone 229: @VaderD Hey what you doing this Mother's day?
VaderD: @Clone 229 Same as you're doing for Fathers day. Ass

MoffTDaddy: Ok who flushed thier pet into the gabage. That shit ain't cool?

MoffK: Man who the hell orders these new droids? That was the gayest protocol droid I've ever seen.

Clone 348582 @Clone 44440 Hey you see that Fett guy? Kinda feels familiar....

@TK383 Dude, just found out all the urinals on board empty into the trash compactor on the detention level. Whose idea was that??

@DarthPerez: If you are easily offended, do NOT click here http://**************** Oh, Leia! Warning: truly not for the easily offended!

@DarthPerez: Leia was clearly wearing underwear. Do you think Leia is that stupid to be out in public without panties?

@DarthPerez: Do you think I'm stupid enough to post a photo of Leia if she's not wearing any underwear down there?

@DarthPerez: Sure I like to be controversial, but I don't want to go to Cell Block 1138.

@PrincessOrgana: That's like, some idiot being an idiot

@LonelyGunner15: It's like no one gets me. But at the same time, everyone IS me. #Confused

@BigDaddyVader: Just flushed my disturbance in the Force. Ya like that, @Dianoga?

@MaxxReboPimpn @CoolHandLuke: hittin' up dat bomb a$$ Cantina tonite bromosexual! U down?

@CoolHandLuke @MaxReboPimpin: Dude! I Wanna go so bad, but my Uncle is blockin' me hard! You think "pickin' up some power converters" will work again?

@MaxxReboPimpin @CoolHandLuke: WTF? He doesn't know that Power Converters are cantina hookers??? LMAO!

@CoolHandLuke @MaxxReboPimpin: LOL!

RT @C3P_YO : @VADERHater Sir, remember when you built me as a small child?

@VADERhater : @C3P_YO No.

@C3P_YO : @VADERHater Oh, right. Me neither because that never happened. #fuckgeorgelucas

ImpG00ner: srsly going to OSHA. Want F-ing handrail!

GoldLeader: @RedSquadron Ywings don't need no jedi! represent!

Tr00p3r1337: @trooooper1335 hey aren't we ground troops?

PrincessL: Just got poked by a floating orb. thx for flu shot! @Vader

RepairTech23: Just fixed the damn tractor beam yesterday. @Vader RTFM

@Palpatine: Damn. I took off his hand and told him I was his dad and he whined like an Emo bitch.
Palpatine@Vader: So the apple didn't fall too far from the tree...
Vader@Palpatine: :(

Solo@Calrissian69: Dood, yeah, you saved me. But your still an asshole.

@StrmTripper69:Anyone know whatz going on?
@SooperTrooper77: @StrmTripper69 Drill I bet!
@StrmTripper69: @SooperTrooper77 Gr8! Ha - you said drill!
@SooperTrooper77: @StrmTripper69 LOL!!!!

TrooperTD989: @TrooperTR327 seen dat new BT-16?
TrooperTR327: @TrooperTD989 ya some of teh other guys were tellin me bout it.
TrooperTR327: @TrooperTD989 say iz quite a thing to see
TrooperTR327: @TrooperTD989 WTF was that?!!?
TrooperTD989: @TrooperTR327 nuffin, n00b just off-gassin. don't worry bout it 8B
OB1Kenobi: L8R, suckaz! :D **poof**

ImperialCatering124633: Smoke is coming from the ventilation system, better call mantinence...
ImperialCatering124633: @GMTarkan Dude, just use the damn death laser thing and get this over with.
ImperialCatering124633: On the up side I can probably cut the food in half for a couple of months.
ImperialCatering124633: Will they ever stop fighting?
ImperialCatering124633: Catering for thousands of storm troopers was hard enough, now ships crash against the Death Star and shake it slightly.

@STrooper95: Wait, why the fuck is there a reactor on the prison level? What purpose could that serve?

@STrooper95: I think that guy was lying. He seemed polite though. Wish more people asked how I was.

STrooper95: Dammit, Vader's sending me down to look for some bunch of Rebels or some shit. I'm trying to fucking play #FinalFantasy!

@STrooper85: You'd think on a space station the size of a goddamn moon they'd have FASTER FUCKING ELEVATORS.

@STrooper95: OH GOD GIANT HAIRY THING COMING AT M-

@Clone0629: Where do babies come from?
@Stormtrooper1583: OMG!!! Han asked how I was doing! SQUEEEAAL!!!!! He’s so sweet n thoughtful!!!!! SOLO&TROOPER 4EVA!!!
@Chewbacca: Typing this with someone else’s arms LMAO
@Clone2177: My ex lived on Alderon, and I flipped the switch. God I love this job.
@Clone5249: Anti-discrimination law ensures visually-impaired’s right to blasters…this will end well.

Clone5313: @Clone6121 I KNOW right!! we were all like 'set blasters to stun' and those noob asholes still killed him!!1!

Skywalker420: @Clone5313 lol pwned!!

@StormTrooper1674: Just gotta finish my shift tonight, and then I'm retired!

@DarthVader: @StormTroopers I thought I told u 2 clean up the dust bunnies in this place. U didn't, & now they growl, r huge, & come w/ snarky pilots.

@NewRepublic: Death Star for sale. Only dropped once, never been fired. Fresh Paint! #spacestationfax

@Tarkin4GrandMoff: So is my Moment of Triumph in 16 seconds, or three minutes? Someone get those readouts calibr

@BigPoppaPalpatine: 3500 credits per foot for guard rails? These contractors don't know who they're messing with!

@Vader: @BigPoppaPalpatine: Yeah but there IS a really big hole in your throne room. Are you sure you won't rethink your decision?

@BigPoppaPalpatine: @Vader: Noooooooooooooooo!

@Vader: @BigPoppaPalpatine: ......

@Trooper221: Guys, why is it named Death star again?

@Palpatine: Will someone tell me wtf is an aluminum falcon!?

@Vader: Pwning N00bs on the docking bay floor

@Clone2274: So remember when we didn't pay to have that massive fighter sized hole repaired... good call guys... (fucking dumb-asses)

@BobaThreat @DarthVader Just played Dark Forces. They totally got my sprite model wrong. WTF, fucking idiots.

@DarthVader @BobaThreat I Know right? And who the fuck is Kyle Katarn anyway. What a n00b.

@Clone733t @DarthVader @BobaThreat I know! I saw that he like delivers the Death Star plans and shit and then it gets blown up. Like that'll happen. ;)

@KyleCarton @Clone733t @DarthVader @BobaThreat I'M IN UR BASE. STEELING UR PLANS. ROLFCOPTER.

@DarthVader @KyleCarton Fuck off n00b. God, LOLCATS are totally what @Obi1 use to do.

@Gunner118: @trooper4423 OMG!!! We are about to fire this freaking gun fina-

@Palpatine: Flight was awful. Fuck that flight attendant, what a bitch! Lost my luggage so only one robe left. Could this day get any worse?

@TK283: @TK986 Wait, we're clones??? When the fuck did that happen?

@Emp. Palpatine: Can you believe my name has been already fucking taken?
@Darth Vader 9043: Well, this is what you get for logging in to the twitter thing so late, man.
@Emp. Palpatine: Oh, FUCK YOU Palpy. Hey, DId you get a load of that Motti guy? What a flying FUCK that guy is.
@Darth Vader 9043: Oh tell me a fuckin' bout it. Did you choke his ass?
@Emp. Palpatine: I choked his ass.
@Darth Vader 9043: ROFL :)

@Clone1579: Someone explain why WE don't get laser swords! I mean wtf?

@DStarGunner99: 2 questions - A: Why aren't their rails on this laser control platform? & B: Why the fuck is it INSIDE THE LASER? OSHA!

I don't actually have a valid entry, I just wanted to say that "Evacuate this! (grabs crotch)" was fucking awesome and your boss should win the contest.

@StormTrooperBob: Have you ever wondered how they made an infinite pit in a finite space-station?

@ImpEngr: i got the job being in the room with the giant laser and my HMO does not cover radiation sickness... FML.

@D-Vader: The force is strong with this one... wait i just blew him up, guess the force was not strong with that one.

@D-Vader: perhaps if He strikes me down i will be more powerful than HE can imagine!

@C3PO: Turn off the garbage mashers, who do you think turned them on bitches?

@StormTrooperBob: Have you ever wondered how they made an infinite pit in a finite space-station?

@ImpEngr: i got the job being in the room with the giant laser and my HMO does not cover radiation sickness... FML.

@D-Vader: The force is strong with this one... wait i just blew him up, guess the force was not strong with that one.

@D-Vader: perhaps if He strikes me down i will be more powerful than HE can imagine!

@C3PO: Turn off the garbage mashers, who do you think turned them on bitches?

Palpatine: Our great achievements will one day be mocked by poorly drawn cartoons and dolls that make fart jokes. The rebels have truly won.

@Trooper 8311: @Trooper3118 I checked the cockpit, looks like the crew abandoned ship.

@Tooper3118: @Trooper8311 Hey did you hear someone sneeze?

@Trooper8311: Trooper3118 No, you must be hearing shit.

@Trooper3118: Trooper8311 I'm not kidding! It sounded like a fuckin' sneeze. It sounds likes it came from under us.

@Trooper8311: Trooper3118 These old ships make lots of noises. Fuck it. I'm hungry for tacos. Lets go.

@DStarGunner99: 2 questions - A: Why are there no rails on this laser controll platform? & B: Why the fuck is it INSIDE THE LASER? OSHA!

@EmpireVending: I keep getting emails from Vader saying he finds my lack of snack food options "disturbing"

@Dengar: Serves your imperial ass right for not hiring ol Dengar! Who's laughing now, guess who, Dengar is… he's laughing right at you! In your face!

@DVader: still can't believe Mpire put up $$$ 4 this thing. had to give up some things 2 have $ 4 the kick a** audio system. whose gonna miss that exhaust cover?

@clone113: man this is going to be brilliant day

@mrstevens:new kid is an idiot, he'll be lucky to live through the week #iamnotvader

@vader. you mean to tell me with all the power of this place one ship can still escape?

@GNK: Gonk. Gonk.

@Clone666: Lolz we let them get away.

@Trooper874: Dude, is it just me or does it smell like Tarkin has been drinking.

@TK467: Aren't you a little short to be a storm trooper?

@Guard33: Man it always smells like trash on cell block 1138. Why the hell did they have to put a vent to the trash compactor right in the hallway?!

@Vader: Bet you cant shoot his R2 unit before he gets to the exhaust port.

@KesselRunner: Tried running 2 other side of Detention Block, but it just ends at garbage chute, the rest is a painting! #cheapassimperials

@DVader Luke, I am your father!
@Skywalker WTF?
@TehPrincess Luke, I am your sister!
@Skywalker WTF!!
@Chewie GAAAARGH!
@Skywalker FML!!

@Clone8574: Damn, it's hard to jack off in this armor.

@Ta2ineFarmBoi: Hey, @BenK, I think we're lost.

May not count as it's a Tweet to the death star:
@JHuttoken: Hey, @LordVader, why don't you come 'round anymore? Got this nice lil' robot in my sex arena.
@LordVader: @JHuttoken, With those concession prices? Fuck no(no pun intended, lol)

@clone9001 Just saw @clone982 and @clone678 with another "Guest." Wookie bondage parties getting old.

@deathstardesigner2 Phew. That exhaust port issue sure took the heat off me for the garbage chute/ escape route fiasco.

@impcleaner X-wing in wall, rubble on floor, chubby guy bits on sofa. Gonna need a bigger mop.

@clone535 Just saw a hobo running around the tractor beam reactor. Did a funny wave / begging thing. I ignored him.

@Dstarevents Celebrate the end of the rebellion tonight at the order 66 bar and Mouse droid rally! All TIE no eX's please.

Went for a progression that work individually

@BIGMOTTI @GenTagge WTF? Just saw a wookie & a clonetrooper 3 inches shorter than the others.
@BIGMOTTI @GenTagge Crap. Meeting w/ Vader to explain why didn't report miniclone. My ass is so choked.
@BIGMOTTI @GenTagge Bastard cancelled my leave! Got to go to HR for sensitivity training! They do all look alike!
@BIGMOTTI @GenTagge Training will not end. Apparently Sand People is a slur? Kill me now.
@BIGMOTTI @GenTagge Make it stop. Please, I beg you, I rather be blown up.

@MoffDiver: The Emperor is such a DICK!!!! He's totally making us work triple time to make ANOTHER shitty Death Star! FUCK! #DumbIdeaTheFirstTime
@MoffDiver: I mean srsly, I wish I was overseeing @EyeOfPalpatine like @MoffnGlow.
@MoffDiver: But nooooo I'm stuck here making a stupid Death Star that'll just be blown up by those shitty kids agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
@Vader: @Palpatine Grand Moff Diver has been dealt with my Master. I will be arriving at the Death Star momentarily. We will have them double up...
@Palpatine: @Vader Good! Good, Lord Vader! Make sure the slushie machine is in working order when I arrive or they will feel my true wrath! #idiots

@deathstartheatandair: Supposed to seal air vent today, fuck that, Springer's on.

@DeathStarSuperLaserTech: All I have to do is pull this lever, and millions of voices will cry out in anguish, then be suddenly silenced. #tenfootboner

@DVaderSmoov: I find your lack of arm disturbing you wheezy freak.

@ContractorBeam: @TheGMoff, WTF man? Pay me in Republic Credits? Guess you don't really want that exhaust system finished do you? ForceBw/U, Peace!

@stormingormin: LOLLERS @ imperial guards.
@bobbieplasticpants: @stormingormin, they wear fucking red fucking dresses & they have fucking staffs. we shoot laser guns but these 8' tampons r totally gonna stab u
@chesterfirecrotch: INORITE?!! after fellating palpie they cuddle lots.
@stormingormin: watching one now. silent. looks like he's trying to eat. using staff as fork. having trouble shoving food into enormous twat-helmet. adorable.

@0bI1: @Yoda: Im sending you a retard to train. Should be fun.

@Obay_wone: @Troper69: These aren't the tweets your looking for

@Clone1459: Saw @Clone6721 fall off a rail-less platform today. He totally Whilhelm'd.

@TK421: so I suggested conducting a more thorough search, lift up a few deck plates ya know? but @Vader is all "ur lack of faith is disturbing, bro"

@Clone251: @Clone827 I don't know if they make gay droids, but I'm pretty sure I just met one, loooooool

@ToffMarkin: @AdmOzzel Is it any wonder @Vader dresses like an armored BDSM gimp? Have you heard how often this guy mentions his "Masters"? Lol!

@TK420: Just heard General Veers quit. That's like the 3rd new boss in as many months. WTF is going on upstairs?

@D*Janitour: YO @D*Troopa4 HERD U WAS GETTIN TRANSFERRED?

@D*Troopa4: @D*Janitour YEAA FOO DEY PROMOTING ME TO VADER'S WINGMAN N SHIT

@D*Janitour: @D*Troopa4 AAAAH SHIT HOMEBOY YOU ROLLING WIT DA BIG BLACK DOGS NOW ARF

@D*Troopa4: @D*Janitour YEAA REBELS GON DIE 2NIGHT FREAK

@SteveHR: @D*Janitour @D*Troopa4 It's always great to see our Coruscant youth program at work.

@STBOB: In the hopes I get some followers, I'm still naked and under a grate in the Millenium Falcon after some short arse took me by suprise. Help

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@StormyDaTrooper: Finally got to use my blaster today, nearly hit someone, oh yeah!

---

@Vader: ATTENTION EVERYONE! Old men in robes should be reported to @DSSecurity immediatley

---

@FullyOperationalMachines: Work nearly complete on second Death Star, come along to the Grand Unveiling Party next Thursday. BYOB.

---

@CanteenRich: Served Jeff Vader at work today, he's my boss's boss apparently. Doesn't like trays, does like the Chicken Arrabiata Vera made.

---

@OldBenKenobi: Whoa! My phone just blew up with like a million tweets from Alderan! What's up guys?

@EmpireScrap: KA-CHING!!! HA, HA, I'M RICH BITCH!!!

@DaveTheSTMac - oh man, some ass was screwing around on the detention level today. WTF?

@MarkTrooper345 - off to target practice. Again. I just can't hit shit lately!

@KlidinStormT9 - sick of the Empire's sexist policies! Need some chicks up here! The med droid's lookin hot now...

@VaderTeamLeader - DV cranky lately. Should give him picture I found of girl named Padme. Might cheer him up.

@EmperorPalpatine - Attn Staff: if you see an Aluminum Falcon, shoot the f**k out of it!

BOOM! FML

Stormtrooper 6579: I wish @Vader would stop playing "I will survive". Over the intercom. I swear if I hear it once more I'm gonna blow this place up!

@clone0666: @clone4358 I told u they were the droids

@Clone335: Dibs on Clone586's bunk!!

@clone9831: hey turn the surveillance video to 11:54 - looks like a brother and sister are making out on a ledge!

@Vader - If I have to spend one more day in this suit smelling my farts I'm going to choke someone.

@SooprTrupr: It's really more of a "Death Planet", though. Isnt it? Or "Death Moon", at the very

least.

@outtata2ine: What are the chances my pet womprat will be killed out here? Its not like those

stupid punks in their T-16s come anywhere this stupid sector!

@Deffstrchitec: and then he was all, "I have altered the death star plans. Pray I dont alter them

further"

@TheMoff: Sent Mother-in-law to Alderraan.

@lazergator: Pew! Pew! Pew!Pew!

@shitmydarthsays LOL so true #followfriday

now listening to @figrandan this is my jam! #summerjamz

Haha Awings. Flew them shits during the clone wars #rebelfail

How'd a dianoga get into a space station, anyway? LOL

Skipped target practice again today LOL

@Gunman723 oh god, I can't believe @Rebels keep thinking #XWings will damage this thing.

@DeathStarGunner2019: @DeathStarGunner2020 asked if these readings looked right; told him to take a step back, LOL

@DeathStarGunner2020: @DeathStarGunner2019 not cool man! Not cool at all!

@DeathStarHR: @DeathStarGunner2020 Didn't you get the memo about putting the new cover sheet on the requisition for railing form?

@DeathStarPR: Don't think of us as a "Death" Star, think of us as an "Opportunity" Star. #deathstarcares
@DeathStarPR: Anyone remember the Jedi Council? "You can't love ppl!" "Believe what we believe!" "Midichlorians!" Total douchefest LOL! -Palpatine.
@DeathStarPR: If they're really a Rebel "Alliance", then why aren't they on our side? #thinkaboutit
@DeathStarPR: Here on the Death Star we employ 1,179,293 people with hopes, dreams & families. I guess you could call us the "Life" Star. #deathstarcares
@DeathStarPR: There's been some complaints about @DarthVader force choking people. It's called "tough love", people. The Death Star is all about the love.

@deathstarcommunicationstation12 :HAHAHA It just realized it's a trap, and felt the need to broadcast it to everyone.
@deathstarcommunicationstation17 : Like your battle cruiser blowing up wasn't clue enough.
@deathstarcommunicationstation12 :yeah lets make a deep fried Apitizer a General and follow it into battle.
@deathstarcommunicationstation17 : them rebels are wacky.

@JekPorkins - Check engine light just came on. Is that serious? Let me know ASAP.
@OB-1 - Just one more day until my Jedi retirement benefits kick in. Naboo here I come!
@ImpOfficer45 - I just saw Vader crying and hugging an old brown robe while he shouted "You made me do this to you!" WTF!?
@BiggsDlghter - Luke says my mustache makes me look gay, but he just jealous. Think I'll ask Leia out tomorrow.
@CleaningCrew42 - I swear if I find one more tear and jizz stained picture of Padme in Vader's wastebasket, I'm quitting.

@Strmtrp101: @Strmtrp102: Can't work hear anymore Vaders a dick.
@Strmtrp102: @Strmtrp101: Yeah, I met a guy on Tatooine who was taking on new guys, said he was boldly going somewhere.
@Strmtrp101: @Strmtrp102: I remember him, totally into green chicks, nice guy.
@Strmtrp102: @Strmtrp101: So it's a plan, right after we finish off the planet with the little bears we leave.
@Strmtrp101: @Strmtrp102: Done and done!

@CrazyCarrie: Metal bikini?? Why would anyone find that sexy?? I went to fat camp for this? LAME.

@SuperTrooper: @StonerCloner Dude, unfollow @Vader. He only tweets the lyrics to Cure songs and moans about his lost love. *Rolls eyes* Get over it, bro.

@SmokinSolo: Slept on couch last night. "No way am I going with you to see fu$%ing sparkly vampires." #Nevertellyourwife

@LSkywalker: Then @Yoda says, "He is too old", and I'm like WTF? Have you looked in a mirror lately?

@R2D2: @3PO When are they gonna fix this damn voice chip so that I stop beeping all the time?? Do they think I'm SUPPOSED to sound like this??

@ScoutTrooper12345: Down on Endors moon. Natives are these rad little teddy bears. Stashed one in my rucksack. Gonna teach him to fetch me beer. FTW!!

It's been 4 years but tonight is my First show as host of Death Star Tonight, it's gonna be a blast!

@TIE Leader-Remember to keep eyes open when in formation, I don't want to read any after action reports of some stupid noob accidently letting some Rebel Fighter somehow find a weakspot. Also, we need 2 pilots to escort Lord Vader's TIE if he decides to go on patrol.
@Stormtrooper TK 9346-Yeah right, as if some Rebel can actually find a weakness in this station and actually use it against us.
@Sandtrooper TC 648 Tech-What about those droids we where supposed to find. Could one of them have the plans?
@Stormtrooper TK 9347-Don't worry, that Old Man said that the droids Dek and I stopped wheren't the ones we where looking for.
@Tractor Beam Controller-Hello, got some old junk freighter that blundered into the Aldreann System
@Communications Bob-Hold on, Star Destroyer Avenger reports similar ship left Mos Eisly
@Sith Lord-SILENCE AND GET BACK TO WORK, AND FIND ME THOSE PLANS!!

@TroubledTrooper Look, I don't wanna be "That Guy", but u think it's occurred to the Mpire that there could be literally ANYONE in one of these uniforms? How the hell do they know we haven't ALL been replaced by rebel spies? Just sayin'.

@DefStarDude: @TroubledTrooper INO! and it gets worse--u got peripheral vision? I sure as shit don't!>:(

@pinkgurl_5: @aldrn_senate_01: Stay away from my man, you bitch!


@aldrn_senate_01: @pinkgurl_5 Stacy, STFU. @tosche_station_stud is all the man I need.


@pinkgurl_5: @aldrn_senate_01 When I get back from my this basketball mission, I'm gonna put a boot up your ass. Say 'hi' to your bf's invisible friends for me.


@pinkgurl_5: @aldrn_senate_01 AND Say 'hi' to your "bf's" invisible friends for me.

@StormTroopaBitchez:
Dude, who the fuck designed these blasters? Has anyone ever hit anything with them? Ever? I'm so talking to the union rep.
11:15pm

@GrandTarks38: Just blew up Alderaan, home planet of this 'princess' AND my credit card company, so no more payments >:D! 2 birds, one DEATH STAR bitchazz!

@IG88: 01000110 01100101 01110100 01110100 - 01010011 01010101 01000011 01001011 01010011 !!!!!1!!

@VaderIsRad: OMG, if that wrinkly bastard makes me work late ONE MORE TIME I'm seriously tossing him in the reactor core.

@VaderD: My phone's gonna be off for a couple hours. My son's in town and we have a lot of catching up to do.

@StormTruther
Death Star 1 was an inside job, read my blog! http://www.DStruth.com

@gunnerguy: Evading our turbolasers?! If he trained us properly instead of bitching to the bosses about us...

@PapaPalpatine : Your boy Vader lost teh plans AND brought me a teenager. Will make her talk and then dust Alderaan for "testing".
@PapaPalpatine : Vader thinks he senses Obi Wan Kenobi. Here. srsly. LOL!!!!1!!
@SithLord_DV : Oh snap! You were right about Kenobi. Please tell me you set a tracer on that Corellian hunk of junk YT-1300 ...
@SithLord_DV : HEY N00B, WHO TOLD YOU TO GO OUT THERE?!? WE PAY THE HELP FOR THAT. GET IN HERE. VICTORY IS OURS.
@PapaPalpatine: Chief Bast wants to evacuate. What a pu

@StormGamer21: Totally pwned some dick at Call of Duty! Username: D.Sidious. What a douche.

@StormTrooper118: Who works 12 hour shifts firing a planet-destroying laser from an unshielded platform and has cancer now? This guy. FML

@B-Fett Check it out Rebel Princess violated by some giant robot at Jabba's (pic NSFW)har har

@Vader huh, that gets me kinda hot. I think i need some alone time with my Lanolin.

I think someone needs to set up a twitter account called @DeathStartweets right now.

@HVAC_Clone2257: "Need you to work overtime this weekend to install a cover over that exhaust port", foreman says. Anybody want to buy my podrace tickets?

No.

@Droidjohnno What's with all the spikes on Mouse Droid? The little prick's too sharp!

@Strmtrp 101: @Bobajay Well FUCK YOU, where the exact sam person, only u get a jetpack and a gun that can aim

...and I did it.

https://twitter.com/DeathStarTweets

@biggun_no1 Mate, I love that oooooooooowwwwwww sound the main gun makes when i pull the lever. cool.

@Static_duty_steve Hey,what was that noise?

@Tarkalicious Who the F@CK told that little Organa cooze about the leash I make Vader wear during our "private strategy conferences?"

@CLONE4323 Did you patch the hole in trench 9b yet?

@CLONE1236 The one the leads to the core reactor?

@CLONE4323 Ummm... ya...

@CLONE1236 Not yet. Geesh, cut me some slack. What's the worst that can happen? Some Jedi swoops in and shoots some lasers in it? Ya right.

@CLONE4323 LOL!

@YouveGotBail: @MamaMothma DS just entered our orbit. Right, like old Emperor P-Funk's got the onions to whack an unarmed planet!:D

@MamaMothma: @YouveGotBail LOL I almost hope he does--Shit, you can't buy that kinda publicity! We'd have more new recruits than Jabba the Hutt has sex robots!;)

@YouveGotBail: @MamaMothma Ha Ha, You su
(TRANSMISSION INTERRUPTED)

Ani.Vader:@PlayerPalp: “Elite Stormtroopers” my ass. Can’t hit the side of a freighter. Kid takes one shot and closes the door on me. WTF?!?

.................

Trooper3975:@Trooper924: Stuck with Doug watching tractor beam generator. Thought I heard a noise. Probably nothing.

@CLONE45 Ever notice Vader totally smells like bacon?

@Bib Fortuna: @Oola how do u stand it? i know hes a fat slob but he has got to get some deodorant I can smell him over here.

@StTruper8: @THE_REAL_SHAQ we could use some large black dudes to help defend this base. Everyone here is white.

@StTrooper8: @PEREZ_HILTON: Help!!! Trade you Leia crotch shots for any assistance.

@StTrooper8: @ACKBAR: Eating mon calamari sushi tonight...suck it!

@StTrooper8: @SSPIELBERG: George is gonna make another movie attacking a new Death Star. Please hit him with your car. Twice.

@StTrooper8: @MY_LIVER: Not gonna remember a damn thing tonight...tell the rebels they can suck it. I'm blaster proof.

not gonna remember this post...suck it.

@redshirt_rebel: @lukePWNDu: whatevs bro picard would've just beamed the torpedo into the exhaust port

@Gunner1487: @MoffTarkin why didn't we just blow up Yavin? Rations on lasers these days? It takes, what, 30 secs to recharge? Tool...

@TIEpilot734: @DthVder remind me, why are we flying 3 abreast in a trench again? Hell, why is there a trench on a giant metal moon?

@OBKenobi: @LukeSky WTF, dude?! I die nobly and your first act is to alert the entire station to your escape? Noob.

@HSolo: LOL, totally pwned @Greedo. Off to piss off @Jabba and then nail a princess with family issues. I rule.

@ImperialPervert69: @GMoffTarkin Can we convince @EmpPalp to build a neighboring Death Star? I'd really like to see space titties when I do my daily drive by.

I don't understand anything that is happening here. I am old and don't understand what tweetering is and how do you make letters with your phone? Mine just spins the numbers. Tweetering sounds dirty and you are all going to hell. Get off my lawn!!!!!

@Stormtrooper003: Asked vader if Im L8 4 scuba class. Typing this as he force chokes me. Totally worth it LOL (gargle gargle gargle)
@Stormtrooper004: "Close the blast doors!", "Open the blast doors!". MAKE UP YOUR MIND ASSHOLES!
@Stormtrooper006: I cant believe this place was designed by bugs
@Stormtrooper008: Soooooo...dead emperor + reformed vader + 2 destroyed death stars = complete collapse of empire? Our infrastructure sucks
@Vader: Stop being so dramatic, @Obi_Wan. I could totally imagine you becoming that powerful

@BigEddie: @MoffTee: just arrived at Alderaan with exhaust port cover. Where r u guys???
@LtTodd: Just got waved off the elevator by 2 stormtroopers guarding prisoner! Why the f**k they using the OFFICER'S elevator?? FML!
@Scan527: Woot! Woot! First day on Scanning Crew and we just got called in! Can't wait to test out new gear!!
@Maint4472: @Maint9653: Dude, just punk'd Josh! Threw that pole from exhaust port into trash compactor! He's looking all over! ROFL!

@DVader: BRB: Death star on fire :-(

@StormtrooperSteve: @Carl427 stupid travel agent won't refund our Alderran vacation tickets.
@Carl427: @StormtrooperSteve What? How can we be on teh hook 4 those things? We bought the insurance.
@StormtrooperSteve: @Carl427 She said it doesn't cover natural disasters and acts of Sith.
@Carl427: @StormtrooperSteve I was on the bridge, Grand Moff Dracula gave the order, not Darth Asthma. That's horseshit.
@StormtrooperSteve: @Carl427 well, we can still enjoy the time off, I guess. Wait a sec, someone is coming into the cell block.

[Chewbacca] WTH? Luke gets a medal. Han gets a medal. That robot toilet makes everyone laugh. WTF do I get? Nothing! Fing humans. #DeathStarTweet
@Palpatine TIE fighter got shot. Wingman and some other TIEs lost. And Death Star blew up. Be home soon
@WedgeA Yeah, I know, dude's been in the Rebellion 2 hours and already he's in charge??? WTF??
@BlackSdrn3 Dude, @dvader totally stole my shot. Why are we even here??? #SithAreLame
@Trooper11873 Srsly, those aren't the droids we're looking for. #RespectMyAuthority

@Trooper3118: @Trooper8311 Are they working on the plumbing today?
@Trooper8311: @Trooper3118 Why you ask?
@Trooper3118: @Trooper8311 I was dropping a deuce and thought I heard voices coming out of the pipes.
@Trooper8311: @Trooper3118 Fuck! First you hear sneezing in the captured ship, now this!
@Trooper8311: @Trooper3118 I'm not kidding! They were yelling about smells and I heard blaster fire!
@Trooper3118: @Trooper8311 You probably heard a dionaga. Just flush and the compactor will scare it off.

@Trooper8761 Dude, don't say anything but I'm in the ship that just came in and I need clothes......now. Don't ask just help me.
2 minutes ago via mobile web

@Trooper6751 Did they seriously sound pissed? You said it was a drill! Thanks now we'll be shining crotch armor for weeks.

@Trooper9224 Just modded my blaster to sound like a .45 Magnum. Heading to extending bridge/bottomless pit now to test....

@Palpatine Hi 'dad' (lawl sry). Just saw the new guy, Ozzel. Seems like a standup guy. No complaints so far.

@RoyalGuardDude Feet are killing me bro, you? Yes I realize I send this every day.

@Beru69: Did u hear something outside Owen?
@OwenoftheSand: Yes. It is someone in a white outfit asking us to come out side...
@Beru69: What does it want?
@OwenoftheSand: wont tell me. Says both of us need to be here...
@beru69: Should I bring some blue milk?
@OwenoftheSand: NOOO!!!! Get out here one has a backpack with something atched 2 it. He/She/It sounds mad for waiting.

((I dont Twitter. I am kinda going from what other people have wrote and how they put things.))

@TrooperFK543 Man I hate these drills...

@Mousedroid Just saw a walking carpet and was all Beep-beep Dweedle-dweedle. Showed him.

@Scan TrooperTF234 BRB gotta scan some gay ass ship. The Linolium eagle or something.

@BigBiggsD I love my mustache. BRB gotta bust some TIE's.

@TrooperFL453 AAAAUUUGHHH!!!

Trooper8311: Fucking plastic armor! Takes 45 minutes to remove just to take a shit!

@DrthVadr Operational schmoperational. the shield generator on #Endor will stop the Rebel scum.

@GMoffTrkn It's an exhaust port. Nothing is going to get inside of it and destroy the #DeathStar. Exhaust goes out, not in.

@ShinyBlkHelmet0123 Don't forget to close that exhaust port tonight. There's lot of traffic around #YavinIV, something might fly in to it.

@JediWannabe Why do you think they called me Biggs and you wormy? Hell even Porkins has more cred then you.

@GMTarkin: @DVader Emperor wants sponge bath! Help!

@CrimsonGuard1: @CrimsonGuard2 I'm totes freeballin under my robe!

@LukeS: @HSolo Stromtrooper disguise bad idea. Now I got Alderraanian Crabs.

@DVader: @Emperor Had 2 choke another bitch. Putting up "Admiral wanted" ad on craigslist.

@R2D2: @C3PO no U may not 'stick it' in my 'data port'!

@bridgeradar weird noise clouding signal, like million vox crying out in terror, then quiet. hope i dont miss anything while this gets fixed

@Slave1Drvr You should've been at #MosEisley last night man. There was a Twi'lek girl there. Her tentacles must have been size 38 long.

@Null_2 "Promoted" to "Chief Color Gradient Inspector" BS the console is IN the Goddamned BEAM! One of these days BAM! Bright Green instead of Lime!

@TarkinMoff: Team Palpatine: 10, Team Imperial Senate: 3. Wiped away indeed!
@TarkinMoff: Socerer ways! Ohhhh snap! That dude got his ass handed to him. Check the pic! *link*
@TarkinMoff: Princess totally coming to death star opening ceremony. So excited. May not shower.
@TarkinMoff: *sigh* hunk of junk in my docking bay, possible jedi's running amok on my station and princess is escaping, i hate mondays.
@TarkinMoff: Blowing reb base in a few, moment of triumph at hand. Fuzzy Navels after? Yes, please.

TK421, ur a min late from ur smoke break...and ur designation is NOT an excuse!

@OB1glowie : @LukeWarm Dat targ com sux, u see wut it did 4 da golds? Tiree? BOOM! Dutch? BOOM! Dead like Porky. LOL fat fuk. Reach o/w ur feelinz! DA FORCE FTW!1

@Ghost_Kenobi Got struck down. Not as powerful as I imagined.

@LordVader Dude I understand you have asthma... but it's called a tic-tac. #failbreath

@LordVader Just read my last tweet... dude has a short fuse. #beyondthegravetweet

@LordVader: @LeiaOrgana looks kinda like my old shortie @QNPadame (RIP BB!), so gonna tap that l8r!

@Sen_Binks: Meesa still sorry about introducing that bigga bad Empire bill. Mysa bad guys. #Sorry #DeathStar

@R2D2: Beep bop boop boop beep beep woooooooooo!
translation: I like big Ships and I cannot lie...

@DeathStarGunner: Alderaan + no military = blow up planet. Yavin + ALL THE REBELS = precision strike. WTF!!!

@Trooper4412: in doc's office, getting head checked out. keep seeing old man run through halls and blacking out for extended periods of time

@JayJRod17: OH SHIT, PALPATINE'S ON HIS WAY GUYS. OH SHIT, WHY DID I FUCK UP SO BAD

@AceOfVadez: annmmmyone sssseeeee tyeht nsdew Tftoy Stolry mcsovie?> redally ciuote film
@PimpPalpi6969: @AceOfVadez: LOL u need 2 take off ur glovez 1st b4 using a iphone dumass!!!!!!
@AceOfVadez: ii ghfave ndothing bbbut conetmpt ccfore yuo.

@DSMaintenance2247: Forgot to replace cover on exhaust port, oh well who's gonna notice a womprat sized hole.

@DStarTech: @DStarGunner No, LASER controls r on 1st Grass Valley fader- 2nd is only 4 film wipes.

@GMoffTark: Small 1 man fighterz? Weak sauce, rebs...

@FalconSmuggler: YAAAHOOOOO!!!!1!!

@Stormtrooper19856743: Still can't get call through to folks on Alderaan. Maybe Rebels jamming communication?

@Trooper223: Dude I just shot Princess Leia!
@Trooper8883: Isn't she the 1 we saw getting fcked by a Gundam or somthing???

@DSCmdr: @WTarkin:Pattern to attack. Evac?
@WTarkin: @DSCmdr:WINNING. Overestimate much?

@R2Blu: @ASkyW:SHOT MY HEAD!? F*#%ER!!
@ASkyW: @R2Blu: Who?? Stop using old account!

@OB1: @Red5: AutoTarget? LOL. Use Force.

@ItsVaderTime guy in the hood is really pissing me off. Looks like my old set of nuts.

@IFlySolo: @IamDaForce: Ties are like kissing your sister ;)

@IamDaForce: @IFlySolo Fuck u. That was low

@IFlySolo: IamDaForce: Low is me being a "sister fister" ;)

@HuskyActor: I'm telling you, it was Perkins in the script. But dude playin Biggs took one look at me and says "George, cool if I ad-lib?"

@DeathStarRepairs: Fixing the tractor beam controls, looks like it's a short in the....aw, fuck, my wrench!

@Trooper321: She's kissing him! I've got a shot! Eat blaster, rebel sc-OW! WHOSE FUCKING WRENCH? WHO THE F-

@BaccaLounger: Walkin' Carpet? Rly? Wow. Scuse me, bitch. Woulda shaved this morning, but too busy eating your fucking hairdo.

@Clone5632: Dude, that farmboy just went berserk. Easy with the blaster fire, kid. God, who killed YOUR mentor?

@Engineer243: FUCK U @BigDaddyVader, THE POWER TO DESTROY PLANETS IS WAY BETTER THAN YOUR BS VOODOO SHIT!!

Sittin in ICU with @_pondababa12. Hope they can re-attach his arm. Damn you #jedi!

@Doc_deth u suck, u owe me a new arm!

@ReactorTech23123 Where are we putting the dead Bothans?

@Engineer7966: Wanted to disrupt rebel fighters with tractor beam, was told "the big boys" would handle this. FML #rebelattack

@BlackDynamite: WELP, the deathstar blowed up. Just me and the trusty TIE left in the galaxy. Gonna hafta find a place to dock, gonna be a while. Tacos and Jolt cola prolly wasn't the best idea for lunch.

@exhaustporter: big glowy blue thing arrived. taking it to reactor core.

@prison perv: Princess in cell. Clearly not wearing bra. SCORE!

@bigdaddyturetter: My cannon is big and mighty, but starfighters are small. Shit. Shit! SHIT!

@furryprisonperv: Wookie?!? at last, my dreams come true.

@tentacletrashy: blurgh? blarghle! blargggh! gaghababa! meepjahg!

@SithMaster @DvaderMan: You MUST defeat your next opponent,We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the galaxy, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy.

@DvaderMan @SithMaster: -.-

@SithMaster @DvaderMan: What is the problem Mr. Skywalker?

@DvaderMan @SithMaster: But Sensei, I can beat this guy!

@SithMaster @DvaderMan: Sweep the leg, Annie!

@R2D2: Beep boop beep boop boop beep?
Translated is:
@R2D2: Does anyone know how the hell to get out of Optimus Prime's ass?

@Storm Trooper 12234: Damn, that princess Leia is one fine piece of space booty.
@Storm Trooper 12234: Sh!t! Darth Vader is coming this way.
@storm Trooper 12234: Arghhhhh!!!

@GMTarkin: remember Tuesday is Bring Your Child To Work Day! DV inviting his son too...

@tk411:@tk101 I totally saw someone wandering the halls in a bath robe. BTW, control tower fall asleep on the job again?
@dstartech: OMG WHO WAS PLAYING WIT HTHE TRACKER BEAM SETTINGS U KNOW HOW LONG IT OTOK TO GET THOSE BEAMS RITE????
@UrHighness: I just escaped the #deathstar!!! wifi works again :-D hopefully they cant track this LOL!
@LoneStarr: lol saved the rebellion last minute
@PalpablePalatine:@DarkFather GONE? WTF!!!?! hmm...think anyone will notice another moon around Endor?

@Luv_Trooper69 Was just walking down the corridor and some a$$hole in the elevator asked me if i wanted to go left or right in the elevator.Dick...elevators go up and down.DUH!

@BigWookie: I fucking roar, how do these idiots understand me?

@BigWookie: Life Day is here! Why is Princess Leia singing?!

@HomeOne_HomeBoy: DM @Admiral_CalamariMon Sir, I've spent the last couple of hours doing some calculations and I think this might be a trap.

@Admiral_CalamariMon: It's a trap! (Please RT) #RebelAssault #DamnI'mGood

@HomeOne_HomeBoy: @Admiral_CalamariMon Dick move, sir.

@TrooperTK421: Heading on the Corellian merchant ship that just docked. Hope it's got that Naboo wine I ordered!

@ImperialCommsOfficer: Damn! Just seen Vader in the Med lab without his mask. Whose responsible this?
@Clone626: @Clone0432: I was there, Solo shot first!
@RebelCommsOfficer: @Clone0284:You cant say Nerfherder! That is our word!
@Clip-onTiefighter: I'm outta fuel, good thing I brought a towel.
@ImperialChef: Resently spoke to Vader. Says he'll kill me by using the force if dinner is ruined. [pointing to crotch] Sayed force this! Then blacked out.

@Vader1: @BP: Need More oil for DS, drill baby drill.

@blueballedStormtrooper:WTF, I just saw our scorched-eunuch-of-a-boss escort a WOMAN up to cell block 1138. WTF is that castrato gonna do with her? Force himself on her?

@blueballedStormtrooper:She was obviously really high.Sure, Vaders dresses well, but still, she coulda done SOO much better...'Jedi mind trick' my ass, that girl was Roofied through the mango.

@blueballedStormtrooper:I'm so needing some R&R. I just fucked a cinnabun cause it reminded me of that pastry-headed slapper Vader brought home from the party on the Blockade Runner.

@blueballedStormtrooper:Seriously, why can't they give us some protocol droids with boobs,at least, nstead of these fag brit models? I'd kill for a topless robot right now.

(probably something like this been done already but wtf, i can't be bothered reading it all to check)

@ChewieIzMyCopilot KA-BLAM!!! #DS2 has been explodered! I'll fix ur sat dish b4 I return. Also, U kno how 2 get fish smell out of a cockpit?

@CloneTrooper1337: With my last breath, I curse Skywalker!

I was dieing of laughter from the Grand Moff Tarkin tweet.

@THX2179 @THX1138 Just heard a sound while I was guarding the Tractor Beam. Should I investigate?

@THX1138 @THX2179 Never mind it. It was just gas

@THX4129 Just saw some blonde haired kid in the tunnel shaft. Tried blasting at him, but he swung accross using a grappling hook & got away.

@ImperialOfficer61 @GMTarkin we get some freaking handrails in this place? I almost fall off the platforms at least once a day.

@tiepilot59 Some x-wing pilot thinks he can get a proton torpedo in the exhaust port. Like that'll ever happen. It's only 2 meters wide.

GalacticPR: Wow. Rebels R attacking right now! Turns out naming this place the "Death Star" wasn't the best marketing idea we've ever had after all...

@2CoolStormtrooper7 @Stormtrooper4life you closed the exhaust port right?

@clone5546: just wondering how many of us are there?
@clone9841: @clone5546 Well, at least over 9000 :D
@clone5546: @clone9841 What? 9000? There's no way that can be right!

@Chewie WWRAAAARGH!
@princessLela14 @Chewie whut?
@Wampratpilot04 @Chewie whut?
@KesselRunner12psec @Chewie wtf ru sayin? learn 2spell!
@Chewie @KesselRunner12psec soz my keypad's too small 4 my fingers

@StormyT: Is it just me or did we totally relax the Storm Trooper height requirements?
@StormyT: That was sick! We just blew up Alderaan! Suck it, rebel scum!
@Darth: Sorry emperor, but sometimes I feel like the baddest man in the whole damn town.
@StormyT: Anyone else see some weird old man sneaking around in a brown robe? WTF
@StormyT: We have the baddest battle station in the world, but can't detect a few stowaways in a false compartment? We are effed.

@Chewie WWRAAAARGH!
@princessLela14 @Chewie whut?
@Wampratpilot04 @Chewie whut?
@KesselRunner12psec @Chewie wtf ru sayin? learn 2spell!
@Chewie @KesselRunner12psec soz my keypad's too small 4 my fingers

@Clone09553 So I told him 'My Lord, there is one problem, A GIANT HOLE IN THE EXHAUST PORT. One torpedo and, then the dick choked me.

@stormtroopercarl Anyone up for a game of mouse droid hockey when we get off duty?

@GMTarkin Okay, level with me guys: how foul is my stench?
@PrincessLeia @GMTarkin Oh geez I was just trash-talking.
@HanSolo Re: Leia/Tarkin Again with the trash.

@darkempmama just destroyed Alderaan feel empty now

@empiredrone1025 @empiredrone2073 just delivered a bottle of tequilla for @lordvader...

@empiredrone2073 @empiredrone1025 no way, I just escorted some hoes up to his room.

@empiredrone1025 @empiredrone2073 lol what do you think he's doing up there?

@empiredrone2073 @empiredrone1025 I don't know, but he told me something about not feeling love for them.

@empiredrone1025 @empiredrone2073 must be some sith thing.

Cloneinspector0002 retweet @darthsidiousbomb: my over all opinion of the D-Star is good, helluva planet buster, 2 probz, open hole in observatory, GIANT xternal exhaust port leads 2 core = big probz yo

@DVader3925: WTF DarthVader DVader and every variation was taken?! Who is responsible for this?!
@DarthVader69: lolol u sux. lrn to twitter nucant breathe help!!11
@DVader3925: Let this be an example to the rest of you. And please verify my account @support.

@MeanGreenMachine: WTF is with this kid crashing into my swamp then demanding training? @BigBadBen did U send this #JediNoob? #FML

@DeathStarSupport: REMINDER: Rebel attacks are not covered under warranty unless you have purchased an extended service contract. Call today!

@DSDesigns @Vader Exhaust covers on Craigslist too expensive. Checking eBay. When do you need it?

@DVader #FollowFriday --> @DarkSide (Please ReTweet)

@DVader @Skywalker01 That is correct, Chad Vader is your Uncle!

@CloneTrooper24474 Just got back from some droid hunt on Tattooine, now I've gotta go to Endor for security detail!? Can't a clone just get a day off?

@Lt Childsen: New hotness in detentn block aa23. Heres to stockholm syndrom and loose rules on fraternization.

@Clone5467 Anyone else creeped out by the fact we all look the same when the helmets come off?

@CellBlock3A25: Bumped into interrogation droid--accidental needle stick. Droid just finished w/ Twi'lek prostitute in D17. Off to infirmary. #FML

@Trooper3446: @Trooper6101 DV's been in the bathroom for like 20 min. now. You think he's still got bits down there or does it all go in a sack?

@EnsAFellek: Slapped w/ two months diversity training for "demonstrating anti-Bothinist prejudices." Hypocrisy much?

@TItEfitterPRO: back from shore leave on planet of 6-boobed women. not as hot as you'd think.

@TehEmporer WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS????
@DVader U R RESPONSIBLE THIS! HWUAAGHHHH!!
@LukeS @_@ Sweet...

@TK421: That is the LAST time I play good samaritan...

OB1: @Vader iz in ur #DeathStar shuttin dwn ur forzfeeldz lolz

@OB1: @Vader iz in ur #dethstraz turnin off ur forzfeeldz lolz

@Engineer3624: The chief got choked, so finished day early. Exhaust port shields can wait 'till tomorrow.

@Sidious: #FF - The Galactic Empire has an official Twitter! Follow us over at @BP_America. Emperor out, bitches!

@Vaderade: A gay robot came out of the closet right in front of me just now. Why do I always get this kind of guard duty?

@trooper0815 dude, I swear I just saw #eddieizzard down in the canteen...

@PlanetKiller2:OMG! Ted was just sucked up by Vader's planet blower upper gun...TED!!!!Why!!!
We need Rails dammit, Vader...TED is DEAD!!!!

@Sidious6B:OMG! Remember when I threw that Black guy through my window, I just found out there's actually another one, so much for ENDAGERED right!LMFAO!

@ForceUser22:Jedi Ghost Trick not as cool as I thought, this place is a total sausage fest.

@HallGuard26:These federation idiots won't go away, they just beamed over again, looking for weapons of mass destruction!

@NuTrooper: 1st day at work in Death Star. Friggin huge. Some dumbass left an air vent open. In space. Bet he's gonna get force choked for that one.

@PlanetKiller2:OMG! Ted was just sucked up by Vader's planet blower upper gun...TED!!!!Why!!!
We need Rails dammit, Vader...TED is DEAD!!!!

@Sidious6B:OMG! Remember when I threw that Black Guy through my window, I just found out there's actually another one, so much for ENDANGERED right!LMFAO!

@ForceUser22:Jedi Ghost Trick not as cool as I thought, this place is a total sausage fest.

@HallGuard26:These Federation idiots won't go away, they just beamed over again, looking for weapons of mass destruction!

@StarDestroyer666: Is any body else weirded out by the creepy Square shaped ship commi.....We Are Borg!!!

Stormtrooper to another - "Psst..Vader is getting old, i could hear his joints squeaking over his breathing.."

@CptSecurity: You guys should see this shuttle asking to land on the Endor moon, the pilot's trying to fly "casual". Ha! I vote we blast him

Banged my head off that friggin door today again, need to speak to @claimagainsttheempire for a work related injury

@TieFighterAce: Look at this nutjob! Doesn't even have his targeting computer turned on!
@TIEyourShoes: True dat, look- his eyes are closed.

@STrooper1382: Wife mad cuz rebels attacking on Bring Your Kid to Work Day. It's the Death Star babe, what could happen?

@PLeia:@Soloman5000 Ew, no. Kissing Luke was like kissing my brother.

@DSmaintenance: Keep getting reports about crap coming through exhaust port. It just goes to the reactor so who cares.

@GruntTrooper: Aw, c'mon guys, I just finished painting the outside of this thing! Stop with the laser scorching already!

@GruntTrooper: Great. Guess who gets to clean fried Porkins off the North Tower causeway?

@Trooper1178: I just walked past @DarthVader and I was sticking my tongue out the whole time! D'ya think he knew?

@DarthVader: I just walked past @Trooper1178 and he was sticking his tongue out. I would've force-choked him but my tongue was out too.

@GrMoffT: Honey, get my bath ready, would you? @PrLeiaO commented on my "foul stench" again. Home in 5, just have to blow up Alderaan.

@St0rmm0f0: Drew straws and got cell duty. Get to peep on hot bitch. Whos gonna try to rescue someone from the DEATH STAR. #jobsthatdontkillyou

@stormofthecentury: Just woke up in cargo compartment of spice smuggling ship. Armor gone. FML.

@supertrooper: Got a txt from the big V: "Dont forget to put extra guards around the tractor beam controls". Like I was gonna forget? #hatemyboss

@empofficer2: @supertrooper dude he like just killed someone during this morning's board meeting. I was next to him. I feel ya. #hatemyboss

@therealvader: @supertrooper @empofficer2 Just picked the next two bitches I'm gonna choke. Wanna take three guesses who they are? #lovemyjob

@VadrWolf: @LukeFox I can't let you do that, Skywalker!

@FeelThis08: Crazy guy chasing me with blaster. Leading him right to barracks :D

@DStar01: A reminder to all crew members, use only official channels to report during an alert.

@GranMoff57: Denied request to abandon the station. Didn't want to reveal there are no escape pods. How could something so big instantly blow up anyway?

@DStar01: Any crew seen with making an attempt to put covers of exhaust ports will be detained, we need those open for a reason!

@ShockingAwe47: Just saw Vader beat someone so bad he left only his clothes!

@mousedroid1138: Da wookie wuz all "GRR!" n I wuz all "Yeah, u want some o dis, beotch" n he ran off like a beeoch. DEATH STAR REPRESENT!!!

@TK421 One last scanning job before I turn in my uniform and blaster and it's Hello Retirement! Betty, you're gonna love Naboo, I swear!

@GAThrawn Yo, Tarkin, why you ain't follow me back, homie? When do I get to see that bitchin' new station you keep tweeting about?

@ImDaPrincess Got captured, lost my planet, droid stuck me with needles and now there's shooting outside. #FML

@tech2129 Vader walked by and said "I sense a familiar presence" and walked off. I knew Taco Bell for lunch was a bad idea.

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

@stormtrooper9393003: Anyone stopped to think how much money we've wasted on Death Stars over the years??

@deathstarcompanystore I'm not even supposed to be here today!

@darth I can't DM you if you don't follow me back @luke

@StormTrooper0042: I'm beginning to think those were the droids we were looking for.

@trooper8754: just got back from the doctor. Said my midichlorian count was way high. Anyone who was in the hottub last night might wanna get tested, too.
@trooper2348: dammit, who the hell thought that eliminating paper throughout the empire was a good idea?. I am not looking forward to the droid toilets.

Battle of Yavin?! Shit, one day from retirement and the damned Rebels start up with their shit.

@trooper9953: why the frig are there like thousands of us ground assault troops but only a dozen combat pilots?

@pilot4: @trooper9953 I know right!? I'm all, where my wingmen at? lul, srsly

@pilot19345: @pilot4 @trooper9953 they gave us long range fighters so we were all "why are we still here"? sorry u stuck there tho.

@pilot19345: @trooper9953 dont worry, theres thousands of turrets all over that place

@trooper9953: @pilot19345 fuuuuuuuuuuu

@trooper9953: ! darth idiot jus flew out to fight. so now we're like, +3 fighters -15000 gun turrets. fuuuuu! fffff!

@TK421 WTF? Woke up in the smugglers hatch naked? Went to leave and ran into a mopey kid and that princess. Awkward. Ef my life!

@clone0227: WTF! We gotta sit on our @$$'s for 30 minutes before we're in range to blast these rebel scum!?

@clone4732 @clone0227 Seriously bro. I say we blow this hunk of dirt out if the way now. No more planet, no more wait!

@clone6979 @clone4732 Could do that but am I mistaken or is this an interstellar spacestation? 30 min? F that! Hit da hyperdrive. try 3 sec!

@clone2176 @clone6979 Ya'll need 2 lighten up. Wat's ta hurry? We're on ta most powerful ship in ta history of ta galaxy! We're untouchable!

@clone0035: RIP clones. Let us never forget 0227, 4732, 6979, and 2176.

@DaEmperor @clone0035 Let's be honest; If I remember one of u, I pretty much remember all of u. lolz!

@Trooper6298: @LukeSkyGuy Seriously?!? Who carries a grappling hook anymore?

@trooper5978: did you see the female prisoner? she's pretty hot. yum.
@trooper329 @trooper5978: she is? I might mosey over to the detection bloc & 'introduce' myself :)
@trooper5978 @trooper329: don't do it, man. VAAADDDEERR might get you. LOL
@trooper329 @trooper5978: (sigh). I would have asked for a dif posting if Ive known this place would be a sausage-fest.

@Deathstar - Something was just shot in my ass.

@SpacePlumbr13: Working 12 hour shifts now. I thought 10 hours was bad! Fuck Tarkin. Can’t wait to transfer to new project at Endor
.
@SpacePlumbr13: OMG I keep finding new leaks in the pipe work. I hate how these regimented clones all flush at the same time.
.
@SpacePlumbr13: Had to outsource the thermal exhaust port to Halliburton. That takes a load off my mind LOL.
.
@SpacePlumbr13: Why does upper management all have British accents anyway?
.
@SpacePlumbr13: Lucky Day! My shift should end early. I just have to drain the water out of some garbage compactor.

@The.SkyWalker Blews up Death Star n hooked up wid hot Princess Chick, HELLS YEAH! Allience Rocks!

@jawazer7: @robopimpJawa dood! Stormtroopers r headed up to the truck. @jewwa4u and I are gunna scare the crap outta em. this'll b awesome!

Third time this week Garth got a wedgy...

Gold Leader: @Red Leader: Do a barrel roll! LULZ!

@StrmTrooprSteve Dude!!!  Thursday is tacos and tots on deck 112!!!  Tell @StormieSusy too, I'm gonna try and unleash the force on that ass!

@DeathStarNews: Due to budget constraints, target practice for all troops has been canceled again.

@Pogs_the_Greatest: Some guy said there was a problem w/ no exhaust port? WTF?
@ChiefBastard: What are you talking about?
@Pogs+the_Greatest: Let me translate that into dumbbug for you: CLICK CLICK WHOOP CLICK CLICK BLEAT WHIR CLICK.
@ChiefBastard: MY MOTHER WAS A SAINT!

@The_grand_moff: Hey, did I tell you about the time I boffed Ingrid Pitt? Forget about it!

@srormtrooper1542: why do we have to stand still, shake and go 'woosh' every time the doors close?

@leia: @solo if you help @Luke I will have ILM modify the cantina footage to clear your name. #hanshotfirst

@StrmTrooprSteve: Dude!!  Thursday is tacos and tots on deck 112!!  Tell @StormieSusy too, I'm gonna try and unleash the force on that ass!

@TheRealVader: @EmperorPal that bully Admiral Motti keeps picking on me during the staff meetings and it really hurts my feelings.

@ImpGunner02: @ImpGunner01 So why doesn't he let us blow up the red planet instead of waiting to clear it? That's Grand MUFF Tarkin for ya. What a tool.

@DSdriver23: Hey this isn't Alderon... it's Barhikk.
@DSdriver24: You wanna tell Tarkin? This bitch doesn't corner well. Anyway it looks like Alderon.
@DSdriver23: Fuck it- just GPS Yavin IV ok? We can probably get away with this if you act casual!

@Trooper 5150: That brown hoodie you found smells like Bengey... Bengey KENOBI!

Ridinsolo: @DVada You might wanna hurry and fill that hole...THATS WHAT SHE SAID!

@ImpGunner02: @ImpGunner01 LOL! If u ask me, #LordVeezy forcechoked the wrong suit, knaamean? Dumbasses. Transferring 2 SnowTroopers after we PWN Yavin 4

@obiwan I know I have to use the force... #hatebeingdistractedbydeadmentorsvoicewhentryingtosavethegalaxy

@RT88: @RT87 Did you hear something?

@RT87: @RT88 Probably just another drill. You know that last drill we had? I was about to finally bone my girlfriend, and then we heard that there was this drill, and she told me there was no way.

@Clone4789: @Clone6371 I know! They need to widen those space lanes or the space traffic will never get better. You are missing all the action, too.

@Clone4789: @Clone6371 Some goofball 'rebels' are making a fuss outside. No biggie, but Vader is taking them on personally. You just know he's gonna kick some a-

By the way, never used twitter. Not sure if the character counter counts the '@[name]'s or not. Assuming no, but if so, well fuck.

@EmpPalp4life: @Dlordani: Have you seen Tark? I can't get through to anyone on the DS!!! WTF!

@Antilles2: @BigDarklite: My bad, u got this?

@Clone5674: Woah! Should I be standing in the GIANT GREEN LAZER HALLWAY?!
@Clone0229: Vader says I gotta change the tractor beam labels. F#CK THAT!
@Clonezor83: LOOK OUT FOR PAJAMA GUY, VEST GUY, AND WACKY HAIR GURL?
@JohnWilliams32: Just rocked that sh*t out. Time to retire.
@Clone4320: Lost my armor, took this gold droid's plating to cover up...this R2 keeps following me now...HELP ME!

@GMTarkin: Friday night is film night. This week - Spaceballs! Pint first?

@GMTarkin: please remember the Death Star is a highly dangerous work environment. Hard hats to be worn at all times.

@thedroidurlookin4: I've just been chatted up off a gold plated puff!?! WTF!!

@stormtrooper69: hungover and don't want to head into work @ cellblock 1138. Should I call in sick?

@trashcompactor6: met four new friends today :) Didn't like my hugz greeting and shot me :(

@LastMaster: @GrammarIKnowNot This isn't quite how I expected "more powerful" to look.
@GrammarIKnowNot: Get used to it, you will. Watch Leia in the shower, we can. Nothing on us, Kitty Pryde has.

@Biggs_Red3: @Luke_Red5 at that speed are you sure you'll be able to pull out in time?
@Luke_Red5: @Biggs_Red4 It'll be just like Beggar's Canyon back home.
@Biggs_Red3: @Luke_Red5 Uh, dude. No one was supposed to know about that. We were pretty wasted.

@XxCTaggexX: @Darth_Annie I fuckin TOLD YOU! No one ever listens to me around here!!!

@NuteGun2nd: @DSid4eva Suck it, bitch! The #Mustafar_12 have their revenge.

@Prisoner4Life(DStar):all the trash compactors on my level still shut down, been a week now, smells like tauntaun ass

@Clone3989: Dude that beer night on Alderaan was awesome.
@Clone768: You remember to pick up the D* plans?
@Clone3989: Agh shit! I think I left them on a barstool!

@ProfessorSolo: Gonna shove blaster SO far up Trooper's poop hole! Ditching rookie n snootie=BONUS!

@ProfessorSolo: Not enuf Han Blaster for 1000 closest friends tho! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!1!!!!11!!!!!!!

@Clone#whocares: #CloneMarv n i pulled tractor control guard duty. Will tell him his blast armor makes his @$$ look- SQUIRREL!!!

@WasAniNowPissed: Note to self-put some metal grates on the F^&*ING exhaust ports for d-star2.

@Notatallthejeditwin: When I @Biggs in his new mustache, I thot he was shooting porn in off hours!

@Palpatine When can we get some customized chairs also?

@Stormtrooper26983736 getting this uniform off to take a dump is a pain, am I right?

These X-Wings are toast. Don't the rebels know TIE fighters sound way cooler?

@Ackbar, it IS a trap. Sucker!

@TIE Fighter2. Don't take the shot. @Vader is on the leader.

@DeathStarGiftShop: @MilleniumFalcon Welcome to the DeathStar(tm). Be sure to stop by the Gift Shop during your stay; special this week on official DeathStar(tm) blueprints.

@Armory Maybe letting that one-eyed intern from a couple of weeks ago calibrate the aim on the blasters wasn't such a good idea?

@Trooper998 Stationed on Tatooine, do you have any suggestions for how to keep the sand out of the armor?

@ImperialGuard2 LOL, I just farted, the emperor thought it was the smell of Vader's skin :D

@Vader I wish you'd decorate the Death Star with some nice banners at least once when I'm visiting...

@Everybody if I hear one more joke about smoking three packs a day I will start choking people

@DarthVader: @LordSidious I need more troopers..... and a new tie fighter.... and a new Death Star...

@DarthVader: @LordSidious Bad news - One less Death Star. Good news - One less Jedi.

@SkywalkerJr: Haha, I've got so much Force I'm tweeting while I'm bombing! #TheForce

@OldBen: Vader thinks he killed me... he just made me immortal! Now I can still help Luke. #TheForce

@Trooper200984: All I get to see while sitting here is a great big green laser..... wait..... what's that going the other direction?...

GenBeers: I just got picked to be on Pimp my AT-AT! Woot!

@deathstartechsupport, doors closing waaay to fast,like pretty sure they would kill you fast.

@stormtrooper4195 dude just seen a rebel use a grappling hook from our belts.looked in my belt and found one,WTF do we need these for??

@tiefighterpilot2765 holy shit dude,me and TFP4319 just got hand picked by vader to fly with him,drinks on me later.

HanSolo @Lando, then I was like "where all fine here now" then I shot the console,epic

Clone4739: @Clone5920 dude, I heard she made out with her TWIN brother! WTF!
Clone5920: @Clone4739 well, twins are a fantasy of mine.

Clone6693: Walked past the prisoners cell. WTF is up with her hair. I don't know whether to give her a brush or take a bite out of those cinnabuns.

Vader: @Luke No. I am your father! And dude, we have some talking to do. Kissing your sister, really?! I know I haven't been there & all, but still

@THE_Emp Has anyone seen TK-421's helmut? Anyone? Apparently he "lost it" on the Lido deck. Please return to Lost and Found, ASAP. #fb

@CloneTrooper: OK who knocked up my gf? I swear I’ll put ya’ll on the hook for child support unless we can convince Vader to blow up her lawyer’s homeworld

@Former_Republic_Clone: To think, a few years ago, I was trying to stop this place from ever being built. Now thanks to this place, I have dental. Life’s funny

@Emperor_Palpatine: I like to think of this place as Satan’s bowling ball

@Stormtrooper_Marksman: Seriously? You’ll hit a tiny ship speeding around in 3 dimensions but you can’t hit a yeti in a narrow hallway? There are 12 of you damnit!

@CommonSenseStormtrooper: His idea to help Vader is to run up to him in the middle of a duel? He knows we have blasters, right? Range weapons that hit from a distance

@Ewok47: It sucks we cant eat the people. They taste so good. I like organs best. Stupid effeminate golden god. Is it too late to worship the devil?

@Stormtrooper2347: I got the surveillance footage of Leia in her cell! UNCENSORED! http://bit.ly/defcon

(As an aside, that is one of the coolest bit.ly link names.

SpamBot5367: Increase the size of your lightsaber now! http://bit.ly/aSKTb1 for more info!

thebeststrooper: @Palpatine just saw @Vader getting carried by some blonde kid. wtf?

thebeststrooper: @Palpatine now hes takin off his helmet, can he even live without that?

thebeststrooper: @Palpatine blonde kid's leaving for escape pods, were r u?

thebeststrooper: @DStarSec dude, what's going on? Looks like @Vader dead

thebeststrooper: Just watched my boss die, the #deathstar blowin up and no more escape pods. #FML

@AsSeenOnCoruscant: Check out the new wookie hair removal system from Old Republic era that recently was rediscovered! http://bit.ly/ackzdw

@Porkins: Dude u got Pwned. Noob.

First post by Vader
@anakin: Hi, I'm Vader now dudes, Darth Vader. Follow me on my new account as I take down the rebel alliance!

Final post by Vader.
@Vader87: Just got owned. Dang that emperors heavy!

@Random engineer: Rebuilding the deathstar. Vaders paying me loads! Got a lovely wife and two beautiful daughters, with another littlen on the way. What could go wrong! :D

@rebels: Sorry guys. We apologise for the unnessasary deaths... lolz

@rebels: Sorry guys. We apologise for the unnessasary deaths... lolz

@Trooper4657: Dude relax. It's only 2 meters wide, I'll board it up tomorrow.

@Trooper1404: Is this another drill? Really? C'mon!

@Trooper1227: 3 more days till med insurance kicks in!

@RecordsDept: Anybody seen the Death Star plans recently?

@Maintenance89: Exhaust port is bigger than a womprat! Someone should tell Tarkin.

@SandTrooper: Next time just shoot the F%*^ING pod!

@CivilianContractor: I'm just here to replace the lighting fixtures. FML!

@Obi1: @DeathStar That's no moon.
@DeathStar: @Obi1 I'm totally mooning you right now.

501STud: Patrolled D-Bay9 today. Saw HUGE chunk text float by outside. Need to lay off the death sticks.

@Janitor: WTF? @Maintenance Trash and shit pouring out of the toilets, who did the plumbing in this place?
@Maintenance: All Staff Memo - glitch in trash compactor, toilets out of order. Strprs, pls use in-suit systems.
@Strpr0068: @Strpr0069 Did you hear that? Now they want us to shit in our fucking suits...
@STrpr0069: @STrpr0068 I know. Rude! Btw, just saw a huge monkey with a crossbow. Def need 2 lay off the acid.
@DS_Public_Relations: All Staff; "Death Star" name generating bad PR, now called "Justice Star". Pls change email Sig accordingly.

@Engineer549:WTF? Vent cover backordered again, SRSLY?!?!

@StarGuard: @EndorTrper34, dude you got your ass handed to you by a Ewok, told you it was best to stay close to the Star

@TieFlyer69: Just got promoted to Vader's squad, suddenly feel like a red shirt

@Emperor1: Does anybody have a throat lozenge, this Death Star is drafty

@STrooper34097893899: HOW CAN IT BE THIS HARD TO FIND A HELMET THAT FITS WELL...WE ALL HAVE THE SAME SIZE HEAD!!

@so_low: On Death Star. Security's super lax. @OhBeOne had time to disable the tractor beam and sword fight before we got caught. Maybe it's a trap?
-----------------------
@Criss_Angel: Thanks @OhBeOne for showing me #mindfreak. You're the best, bro!

@OhBeOne: It's #mindtrick, not #mindfreak.
----------------------------
@DS_engineering: I think that if we have turbolasers, shields, hyperspace drives and AI, we should also have homing missiles to use vs. X-Wings. #epicfail
----------------------
@The_Big_V: Hey, @Skywalkah_T16, aren't you going to tell me #happyfathersday?

@vaderrulz: @OnStar, I've been in an accident

@storm_troopah46: Happy b-day to my bff on Aldera- oh wait...

@stormtrooper2434: @stormtrooper3011...we have the The Loch Ness Monster held up in the trash compactor and the just cought Sasquatch..... This is SOOOOOOO AWSOME!!!!

@Storm_troopah45: Smokin' dagobah weed w/ the guys... Fucking amazing high...
@Storm_troopah45: We found this giant-ass button and @imp_guard4 dared me to push it lol!
@Storm_troopah45: HOLY FUCK WE JUST BLEW THE SHIT OUT OF ALDERAAN OH MAN

This is probably coming in at 440 entries to late, but when you want something posted towards someone else it's : @intendedperson. If you're just tweeting then it's just your name, example:

Red Leader: @goldleader shitty flying bro

Gold Leader: @redleader whatever, at least I'm not fat.

clone2344: RT @clone5476 RT @clone3265 RT @clone1475 RT @clone6214 RT @clone0987 RT @clone6265 RT @clone2265 @boba Happy Birthday Bro!!

@Trooper117-91: Full scale attack on level 317b. We need reinforcements! NOW!!!!!
@Trooper55-57: @Trooper117-91 Dude, it's like one guy ROFLMAO!
@Trooper117-91: STFU!

DeepSpaceCntrctr: @DVader Heard something about killing space teddy bears? Don't think we're rea--

TheRealLordVader: I must remember 2 Google Bespin 2morrow. RT @LandoOfBespin Looks like #RebelAlliance hates the Empire almost as much as I do! ROTFLMAO.

@ImperialDesign: @LordVader look, I’ve already told u; an “exhaust port” does NOT NEED A COVER. Jesus, u act like the Deathstar lives or dies by this cover.

@ GrandestMoffTarkin: @senatororgana i'm blowing your planet up now lol. wait, you probably won't see this tweet rebelscum lol

@Clone8735: Hey, did you realize that the DS looks like a big floating boob?
@Clone4523: Closest you'll ever come to one.
@Clone8735: @Clone45323: You guys ever think that maybe they should've cloned one of the Jedi? Then I could be all Bwanananana magic n shit
@Clone2334: Yeah, have fun with that 1 inch Yoda dick, lol.
@Clone8735: STFU, everyone knows the odd #s are bottoms.
RT Clone2334: @Clone8735: STFU, everyone knows the odd #s are bottoms.
@Clone2334: @Clone4523: I h8 you guys.

hankthepilot: @mofftarkin It's Hank, your shuttle pilot. Just wanted let you know that we are good to go when you are.

DeathStarLocal4121: @mofftarkin I understand that you want to get the exhaust port fixed, but the #Wookies are already over their work quota.

C3P0: @DarthVader Maker?? Happy Father's Day!!

GunnerTenn: Heading to #Alderaan... Glad my R&R request went through... Heard it is a beautiful place.
MottTarkin: Pwned. RT @GunnerTenn: Heading to #Alderaan... Glad my R&R request went through... Heard it is a beautiful place.

Fuck that clone shit, mine is definitely bigger than yours!

just to tweetify it:

StormTrooper43: @StormTrooper007 Fuck that clone shit, mine is definitely bigger than yours!

@LukeSkywalker: You turned off your targeting computer, what a noob!
MouseRobot177: @TK421 Oh shit! Just ran into walking carpet and it yelled at me!
@ImperialEngineer42: Where are the supplies so I can fixed that goddamn external exhaust port?

PimpTrooper420: @CloneThis We can't access TR from our work stations any more. FML Apparently this exhaust port shield instalation was falling too far behind schedule. SUCK

SkywalkerRogue: Just blew up Deathstar. Explosion was epic. Thought there woulda been a ring from blast debris...

@EmpororSid: Fine, I didnt need that deathstar anyway. I'm gonna build an even bigger one with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the deathstar!

@Engineer115: Do we get hazard pay for working so close to the laser without a rail?

PLeia69: Wish @Potimus_Prime were here :(

@Clone1337: I love when Vader passes by. He smells like the ewok barbecue!

@TK421: Goddamn scanning crew's, always dropping shit and asking me to pick it up...

@HanSolo. Obi One? More like BBQ One!
@LukeSkywalker. Dude, too soon.

@bobba1: just flew in2 pit of sarlacc, 2day totaly sucks :( any ideas???

@bobba1:still in pit of sarlacc:( wen i get out here im totaly gunna kill that prick solo.
what are u guys up2???

@bobba1: BOOOOORRRRREEEEDDD!!! thers like nothing 2 do down here, UGGGG!!! hit me up it stinks down here, cummon guys talk me :(

@bobba1: still in pit of sarlacc, can no longer feel toes:( where are u guys???

@DarthVader: Is enjoying "Bring your daughter to work" day.

(I know my posts are too late but I'm just having fun)

@Clone2124: Flyin my fighter with my feet while tweeting...Yay
@Luke: R U the one flying like a epileptic bee below the trash compactor
@Clone2124: That's moi. :P
@Luke: Just shot an psycho bee clone with my toes while tweeting...*thumbs up*

@clone84354: by the sith, Im sick of this white. Why cant we have different amrors with different color? grrrr
@clone64324: now that you mention it why havent i thought of it before. it makes perfect sense. vote.
@clone94121: sacriligeous. how dare you think such thoughts?
@clone31337: i like pink
@clone1233: I have a better idea. why not stickers. that way you can remove them when you dont like.
@clone4535: dude. serious great ideas here. should patent it.
@clone31337: i also like feathered fedoras

@clone5124: DV approved my vacation for next year. Will be visitng Jabba's infamous coliseum. Am taking bucket loads of paraffin for some robot lovin.

never twittered. Saw it once on my wifes computer. seemed stupid so I left it alone. Don't have time to waste on boring tech.

@DarthVader: Is enjoying "Bring your daughter to work" day.

(I know my posts are too late but I'm just having fun)

@TK420: Installing a toilet main in the detention level. Anyone have a hydrospanner?

@TrooperTed: Hitting stuff is out of my pay grade. Talk to the shop steward.

StormTrooper6969: Just lost all my investment property on Alderan and now I have to work late because of a rebel X-wing attack, don't see how today could get any worse

C3PO: MY KIND? The cantina doesn't serve MY KIND? I could read that one of two ways, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and just assume they don't like droids.

TK 124: Jesus, looking at the Emperor makes me thank the maker that I remembered to pay up my HMO this month.  
TK 124: Ugh, can I come to the bar and not hear Vader bitching about lost time with his kid?

TK 124: It's the two year mark of TK 421's death, so I go and see his family. I can't help, but think: Damn his daughter's really filled out

@TK 124: It's the two year mark of TK 421's death, I go and see his family. I can't help, but think: Damn his daughter's really filled out

@vader @twitter please verify me
@vader @twitter since maul has been dead 20 years can I get @darth #kthxbai

@theREALprincessleia @spock You're right, Vulcans do do it better

Lies! I didn't tweet a single one of those!

@TheRealDarthVader Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit smoking.

@DSSystemPR: Sorry about that Alderaan incident. At least we didn't poison their oceans for generations to come. #DSCares

@clone5623: Dammit. I had a Timeshare on Alderon!

@TIEPILOT23: what are all these goddamn little robots racing around the middle of hallways? I keep tripping over the little bastards.

Wow, I guess Porkins do fl... nope I was wrong my bad-

Chewbacca sneaks a read through Luke’s tweets while he is under water in the trash compactor. Here’s the last exchange:

@TaschePro69 @LadyLoverLuke Dude, where are u? Thot u were coming out to pick up some power converters??
@LadyLoverLuke @TaschePro69 Nah, Cant! Uncle making me clean some stupid droids he just bought. I HATE him!
@TacschePro69 @LadyLoverLuke Man, u missin it! Im closing up shop and takin the boys to Biggs timeshare on Alderaan!! Gonna party for a few days!!
@LadyLoverLuke @TaschePro69 I’m ALWAYS missing the fun out here on this fucking farm!!!
@TacschePro69 @LadyLoverLuke Lame! Biggs has a keg and ses getting Oola girl strippers to dance for his makin it thru the academy!!
@TacschePro69 @LadyLoverLuke Sure! Rub it in!! My uncle is such an ASS HOLE!!! I hope he fries for this!
@TacschePro69 @LadyLoverLuke Na, ur uncle's pretty cool. Don't forget he supports ur lazy ass! :) There will be other times.
@LadyLoverLuke @TaschePro69 GREAT! Not that gay new protocol droid is telling me the R2 unit we just got ran away! FML!!!

StormtrooperTK898: Hey guys! I'm new here. I start patrolling in the south hemisphere next week. Does everyone walk upside down there?

StormtrooperTK898: Also, why do we always have to carry our guns? Isn't it just us in here?