Miscellaneous, Movies

TR Contest: Tweets from the Death Star

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?I have a pretty great boss. He’s Bill Jensen, director of new media for the Village Voice Media empire. Occasionally he asks me to whore things do things, but mostly he leaves me alone, which as any employee can tell you is the coolest. But every once in a while, he asks me to do one of those things, inevitably at like at 1am on Saturday night, and he never lets up. Seriously, two weeks ago, I get this:

Rob —
Tweets from the Death Star.Death Star During the Rebel Assault. Let’s make this happen.

I didn’t reply because it was 1am. But for the next two weeks, I get these sent to me randomly (I’ve picked just a small percentage for your convenience):

@Clone0983 @TK421 Where u at bro?
@Prisoner2323: Can the trash compactor make MORE fucking noise? COME ON!!
@Clone5462: Just walked right passed Vader in the docking bay, WTF!!!???
@Clone7323: @Clone6323 I’m telling you, they looked really similar. They weren’t bf/gf. They could have been brother sister for all we know.
@Clone9428: funny video of @Clone6834 banging his head on the door. Dumbass link to video.
@Motti: And they all just sat there. The fucking guy is choking me with his fucking mind, and they do NOTHING!!!!
@Clone0983: @TK421 Dude! C’mon. Answer me!!!!!!
@GrandMoffT: Some pissant just asked me if I wanted to evacuate. I was like: “Evacuate this”(pointed to my crotch)

I kind of hate it when Bill has a great idea, but dammit if this wasn’t one of ’em. This week’s theme in “Tweets from the Death Star.” Five — count ’em, 5 — entries per person. Must follow all Twitter rules — 140 characters, @s and #s, etc. If you fudge the character count a little you might be able to get an Honorable Mention, but you can’t win, so check before you post. The contest ends at 12:01 am EST on Monday, June 21st. Happy tweeting, my friends, and have an excellent weekend. And remember, if you’re going to be lubricating any metal this weekend, please consider graphite and paraffin wax. It;s ComicsNix approved!

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.