As you are painfully aware, we are knee-deep into yet another wallet-draining, soul-sucking holiday season. Despite what the irksome song declares, it is hardly the most wonderful time of the year. Shopping is always a hassle even if money isn't a concern. Then there's the issue of what the hell to get the friends, loved ones and hanger-ons in your life that you annually are roped into buying stuff for. The good news is that if these people are nerds, you're in luck. Topless Robot can put an end to your humbugging with this overview of geeky gift ideas. Because money is tight all around, this Daily List presents 20 amazingly nerdy products that all cost $20 or less (excluding shipping). With any luck it will help you finish up your shopping and free up time to focus on what the season is really about: family squabbling, binge drinking and crying your eyes out while watching Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas.
20) Automan: The Complete Series
With all things Tron-related getting another go around on the pop culture carousel, is a renewal in interest for this 1983 rip-off sci-fi series far off? Yes, yes it is. Cost? $13.25 for the complete series.
Where you can get it: There's no official release available, so if you want it you will have to visit the dark corners of iOffer (think of this gift as the DVD equivalent of a post-coital cigarette for your Tron Legacy-obsessed loved one).
19) Lovecraft Playing Cards
You cannot resist the Call of Cthulhu, even in the midst of a game of Texas Hold' Em. So just to be safe you should pick up these playing cards from the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society. The deck features images of Lovecraft's best known monsters and the author himself (as the Joker, natch). Playing a quick game of cards with these as a chaser to some D&D is basically the most nerdy evening imaginable...and possibly the most awesome too. Cost? You'll have to summon up $15 for this.
Where you can get it: Over at http://www.cthulhulives.org.
18) Great Muppet Caper Glasses
As you'll probably remember from a few weeks back, novelty drinking glasses are the goblets of Satan. But do you really want to live in a world where you will never again sip an ice cold Coke from a glass emblazoned with an image of Mola Ram pulling someone's heart out? Me neither, which is why I'm advising you to ignore those doom-saying news reports and buy as many novelty glasses as possible before the hysteria over their alleged toxicity makes them hard to find. A good assortment to start with are these McDonald's glasses that were released in 1981 in conjunction with The Great Muppet Caper. Sure, they're probably laced with lead and cadmium, but look how cute Kermit and the gang are. Cost? Full sets are easily found for around $10-$20.
Where you can get them: Just head to eBay and let the fun/poisoning commence!
17) Sulk, Issue 3
Readers of Jeffrey Brown's Incredible Change Bots will be pleased to see that his satirical edge is sharper than ever in this third volume of the anthology series Sulk. This time around, he sets his sights on the most ridiculous aspects of the sci-fi and fantasy genre in tales that feature jealous robots and doomed elves. And just wait until the Time Babies show up... Cost? $6
Where you can get it: Although this is available insanely cheap from online book merchants, I'd recommend heading over to Top Shelf's website and supporting the publisher and Brown directly.
16) Doctor Who Tees
The aptly named Geek Boy Press presents these screen printed T-shirts celebrating the Doctor's adventures in time and space. First up is a tee featuring a silhouette of the Timelord's robotic canine in a color scheme that would make K-9 proud. If you'd prefer a Who shirt that's a bit more contemporary, the "Bowties are Cool" offering that will make you the envy of everyone at the next Gallifrey One con. Cost? $10. Where You Can Get Them:The Geek Boy Press store.
15) The Ultimate Guide to G.I. Joe
Action figure expert Mark Bellomo presents everything you would ever want to know about 3 3/4-inch G.I. Joes in The Ultimate Guide to G.I. Joe: 1982-1994. The book is a goldmine of information about Cobra and Joe figures and vehicles from what is widely considered to be toyline's golden age. There's a certain nostalgic warmth that comes from looking at images of 1980s toys, something that this guide offers an abundance of. Clearly geared towards the Hiss Tank set, the trip down memory lane this release is equally captivating for readers who don't know the Baroness from Buzzard.
Cost? As low as $15. Where You Can Get It:Amazon.
14) Hello Wars Stickers
These stickers that infuse Star Wars characters with Hello Kitty whimsy are so goddamn twee that if you stare at them for long enough you can actually hear Belle and Sebastian. There are several sets of these stickers available, each more cute than the previous (copyright infringement has never been so adorable). Be warned though, there are a variety of Hello Wars products from pillows to vinyl decals available that will attempt to tug at your heartstrings and empty your wallet. Cost? $2.75 per assortment. Where You Can Get Them: Visit Hello Wars and Etsy for more info.
13) Robocop Diorama
I had to kill Santa Claus because he made a mistake, and now it's time to erase that mistake. Er, sorry. You too can experience the lawless mayhem of Old Detroit in the comfort of your own home with this inexplicable Robocop diorama that recreates the film's gas station robbery scene with die-cast figures (explosions not included). Cost? I'd buy that for $16. Where You Can Get It: At Amazon. Just don't go looking for a reason why this exists, because that would be a hell of a lot trickier to track down.
12) Other Spidey Musicals
The continuing debacle that is Turn off the Dark has made me long for a simpler era of Spider-Man musicals, namely the 1970s. The me decade gave us two Spidey rock operas: Rockcomic: From Beyond the Grave and Rock Reflections of a Superhero. These cheesy albums were never staged theatrically -- which seems fortunate given the logistical nightmare that Taymor's opus seems to be -- yet they include material that treat the webslinger with the respect he deserves through song. Don't get me wrong, the whole concept of a singing Spider-Man is insane. What separates these albums apart from the travesty currently infesting the Foxwood Theater is complete lack of pretension and some killer tunes that don't sound like How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb leftovers. Better still, no Swiss Miss. Cost? Rockomic is $4.98 (MP3 download only), Rock Reflections will set you back $5.95. Where You Can Get It: The former is available at CD Baby and the latter at Amazon.
11) Music of DC Comics: 75th Anniversary Celebration
Marvel isn't the only major comics industry to participate in Broadway shenanigans. It's a Bird...It's a Plane...It's Superman brought the story of Krypton's last son to the Great White Way in 1966. It was hardly the train wreck that Spidey's show is turning out to be, earning some acclaim and even spawning a cheesy 1975 TV adaptation. Oddly enough, no songs from the Supes musical are included on the Music of DC Comics: 75th Anniversary Collection. Bummer. What the release does have is plenty of mainstream material (Neal Hefti's classic Batman TV theme, John Williams' "Theme from Superman," etc) as well as songs and obscurities from assorted DC cartoons and series that have graced their airwaves over the decades. I could criticize the material that this release ignores, although I'd rather just listen to the Batman: The Brave and the Bold theme repeatedly instead. Cost? $14.99 for the CD, $9.49 for an MP3 download of the album. Where You Can Get It:Amazon.
I actually did cry the last time I watched "Emmet Otter's Jug-Band Christmas," and I wasn't drunk. Sigh. "When the River Meets the Sea" gets me every time.
My girlfriend got me the Space Invaders ice cube tray shortly after we started dating "Just because," and that's when I knew she was the one.
Sugar isn't a drug, and despite popular opinion doesn't make you any more hyper than a placebo. Combining it with caffeine will just make not a placebo anymore.
On the other hand, combining alcohol (a depressant) and caffeine (a stimulant) is asking for severe dehydration, the negative effects of both drugs, a racing heartbeat, and the possibly of friggin' seizures. Think of it like eating matter and antimatter at the same time.
Also, if you're jealous of kids getting to eat these, you're very confused, because kids these days don't know what the hell a Ghostbuster is. Not that their greedy, Ghostbuster obsessed parents would ever share them.
I guess you could try making your own: http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2009/12/how-to_hack_a_magic_8-ball.html
Welcome to Topless Robot, dear.
The E.T. poster I had when I was a kid was much more frightening, because it's eyes would follow you wherever you went.
So that's the end of my irish coffee?
Close.
I'd accept a "Critical fail" or somesuch. But that's still too much liberty.
No, I want a d20, dammit!
10) E.T. The Extra-Terrorestrial
hey rob i want to send this to a few people in my area.... just for fun!
anyone ever order anything from ioffer? i'm comfortable with paypal payments and ebay/half, but have never ordered from ioffer.
i think i want the robocop diorama..i just wish it had a button you pushed and it spoke..i wish it said "dead or alive your coming whit me"...ha classic..
First off...that E.T. poster? Fuck you. I almost had to go change my shorts. GYEAAAH!!!! Nightmares...for...weeks...
Second: I NEED THAT DIE!!! My gnome bard is always looking for more pizazz... oh dear christ I'm a dork...
*gets Loot Day list*
One Space Invaders ice cube tray, one Space Invaders coffee mug, plus the Power of Grayskull. Okay, all set!
What about Vodka Redbull? They still sell that by the can in Canada. Or did when I was in the LCBO not long ago.
I bought a Robocop figurine on the hope that doing so would improve chances to allow a ED-209. Way to let me down, everyone else.
No one's linked this yet:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/games/e1ee/
NO! Don't tell anyone else about those Tiny Mego-Styled Marvel Figures! I still want to get Dr Doom! The one I ordered was random mystery box style and I got The Thing.
As for the RoboCop Diorama, I remember seeing they had an Old School one with a Firebird. I also saw a Rainman one. They also have American Graphitti, The Usual Suspects, and Grease. No, I don't know why either.
I can't get an ED-208 action figure, but you can get a RoboCop gas station playset?
How 'bout a D20 that plays the "Price Is Right Fail Theme" when you botch?
Truly magical list Chris--you are to be commended for your service to Nerdkind!
I had those Great Muppet Caper glasses when they first came out--lasted us a good many years (and no lead poisoning!).
Whoever came up with caffeinated marshmallows is my new Lord and Saviour--Glory be upon Him/Her!
Also, I will not rest until that D20 is in my Crown Royal bag!
As well as NSFR.
(Not Safe For Rob)
I have the Iron Man ones. It says "Nuff Said" over the access door in the front.
Spot on! I adored that special--should've been on network TV so they'd play it yearly.
Every bit as good as any of the Rankin-Bass shows.
It's the real Irish coffee. Most places think an Irish coffee is Baileys and coffee, but the real thing is just whiskey and coffee.
Irish coffee, anyone? Coffee with brandy? Or, my favorite, coffee with grappa.
Joose got lumped into that bs also, I hate the shit but my brothers' heartbroken. As long as they leave Miller Lite alone I'll be ok.
Damn straight! Rock Reflections is one of the greatest albums about a superhero EVER and there's no way Bono could ever outdo it.
Well, I'm buying D20s for my gaming group this year. Thanks for taking care of that.
Though, I wish I could get one for the GM that would flash when he rolled a 1.
Or Red Bull and Jager.
Huh. It just occurred to me that a Magic 8 Ball that had an *actual* d20 inside would be the shit.
DEAR GOD WHY
I will never fucking forgive you for bringing #10 into my life.
i have to admit i bought the dc cd as a gift . plus some of the new marvel megos. this list is perfect for gift buying for the fan of something. as for the muppet caper glasses if one wants to ignore the cadium and lead . found flea markets are also a good source of those things.
Agree. I had HBO when I was growing up and I loved watching this every Christmas. Also, I want some Megatron underwear....
I own those Megatron underwear. I bust them out when I go on dates.
Ladies love Megatron.
It's even weirder when you remember what was at the original Megatron's crotch. Many "pull MY trigger, baby" lines are likely to follow.
Hey baby, check out my fusion canon.
hmmm...
coffee and whiskey....
intriguing. two things I don't normally drink but sound great together.
He's referring to the ban on Four Loko and such. Which is silly, considering that, yeah, we constantly mix caffeine and alcohol. I did the coffee/whiskey thing yesterday, in fact. Very tasty.
I feel I must defend "Rock Reflections." To me, some of the music sounds like a cross betweeen "Grease" and "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", and songs like "Spider-Man" and "Doctor Octopus Part 2" are classic cheese. THIS is what they should have made into a Broadway musical!
I believe he's referring to 'Four Loko' a caffeinated alcoholic beverage that just sparked a big controversy and is now banned.
The FDA was (and may have) looking into banning all alcoholic drinks containing caffeine.
We can too! I've seen people mix beer and redbull or coffee and whiskey. We're American: we can do whatever we want. XD
I agree with you on Spidey's Rockomic. I got it back in '76 and still have. I played it so much half of the record has had all the grooves worn away and is probably unplayable, even if I had a stereo to play it on.
ack, meant to put NSFW!!
Here's a much more horrifying version of E.T.
<<<<NSFW>>>>
http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_46_boobs-things-that-dont-normally-have-boobs_p35#5
We once had to suffer being directly beneath a Decepticon's scrotum.
Now? PAYBACK IS OURS.
Also, I totally want those marshmallows. Nice list!
Props to you for mentioning <i>Emmett Otter</i>, the most underrated Christmas special ever.
I highly recommend the Spider-Man "rockomic." I've had it on vinyl since 1972 and I love it to pieces. The story is good, the voice acting is solid (Peter Parker is voiced by Rene Auberjenois, aka Deep Space Nine's Odo — Seriously!), and (SPOILER!) Doctor Strange even shows up and literally sends The Kingpin to Hell at the end, so what's not to love? But the icing on the cake is the songs by The Webspinners. They're fantastically cheesy bits of early-1970's pop kitsch, and the song "The Amazing Spider-Man" is a piece of kickass white boy funk that actually gets away wth a lyric describing Spider-Man as "no one lady's sex-machine/He makes all the little girls sigh" on a children's album. Complete and utter win across the board.
"Rock Reflections of a Super-hero," on the other hand, is utterly flavorless and generic, and best avoided. It's not worth even one listen, but it could serve as a coaster or something, I guess.
Adults can't drink caffeinated alcohol, but kids can eat caffeinated marshmallows?
TotalComments: 49
Nerd news, humor and self-loathing.Edited by Rob Bricken
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