Super Terrific Chinese Thing: Top Charming Breast Stimulator
Normally it’s Japan that leads the world in breast technology, but China has taken a major leap forward, and the day is slow enough that I thought that I could recognize their achievement. Behold the Top Charming Breast Stimulator, which is a device women can put into their bras or bikini tops that gently shakes the breasts until… well, until they get bigger.
In case this is somehow a difficult concept to grasp, the video demonstration is a full five minutes long, just to make sure you get it. Yep. Five full minutes of jiggling boobs. It’s science!
Honestly, despite the incredibly lengthy video testament, I have my doubts that the Top Charming Breast Stimulator really works, because… well, if gentle shaking made breasts grow larger… I’m pretty sure guys would’ve figured it out by now. We’d have noticed. Certainly, none of my significant others’ boobs have ever gotten bigger, and I did as much Breast Stimulating as I was allowed. Still, infinite thanks to Sherry for the tip.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.