• That didn't even deserve a response... that's why this one took so long.

• I read your interview post on revenge of the fallen at least 10 times already..cant wait to read about the next crap transformers movie

• I agree with everyone's bitchfest that Michael Bay and company didn't do it right.Well, after years of tolerance, it's time to begin setting things right. I am currently writing what should or should've gone down, and yes it's for the grown-ups with Transformers from various series including G1. So check it out, leave a comment, and let the wrong be set right. --TransformersReinvented.blogspot.com

• Realistically, Rob, you should write Bay a formal thank-you. Take the influx in web traffic you received after your much-popularized FAQ about RotF, and multiply it by a bajillion (I use "bajillion," as I'm sure this is the same percentage of increased rage this next installment will induce in our community). Also, I find the trolling by Cprl "SucksAWeiner" Kool to be much more entertaining than this movie will surely be, and would rather pay $20 to see the comments thread of this article in film form.

• I saw Transformers The Movie in the theatre as a child (yes I'm that old)and was almost in tears when Optimus Prime died. (Thanks alot Hot Rod!) Sitting in the theatre to watch Bays' Transformers I wanted Prime to die. Hated the overall look of the movie. Perhaps Bay got his scripts mixed up in the pile on his desk. That would explain the super size Bionacle figures running around with Cybertronian names! Hated it! Yet I like so many others will be there on opening day for Transformers 3 despite knowing Billy Ray Cyrusbot or Mullettron or whatever the hell they call him will be in the movie. Yes I am one of those suckers that Bay and Lucas love! Because two hours before I beat my head into the wall for paying 40 bucks plus babysitting fees to see Transformers 3 I will convince myself that like Revenge of the Sith, it cant be as bad as the last one!

• ah, young sir, then consider yourself lucky to be able to retain your optimism and good faith in Michael Bay. ignorance is bliss, as they all say.

• I didn't see that movie. but predator bots and billy ray cyrus bots are better than size changing flexible faced robots.

• tom kenny

• avatar made half a billion dollars. Think about that, HALF A BILLION DOLLARS! For blue cat people reenacting sci-fi pocahontas.

• I am amused to see how angry with impotent rage you guys are. Transformers has been around continuously with different toylines and different fiction (along with different aesthetic styles and concepts) for over 25 years. Transformers changed considerably in look long before the Michael Bay movies were made. For most of you guys, Transformers existed from 1984-1987 (G1 kept going on, but by this time new fads had arrived) and then "came back" in 2006 (when most of you heard about the then-upcoming movie). There is an understandable shock at seeing Transformers styled not like how you remembered them as you never had the chance to gradually digest the changes made to the franchise over two decades, but I think it is also unfair for you to expect Transformers to conform to your expectations (particularly how you remember them). Case in point: Fair enough, Revenge of the Fallen was an absolute mess (besides the opening sequence and the fight in the forest. HOWEVER, Transformers Prime is not a bad series at all. Objectively, it at least an okay, inoffensive cartoon. However, Rob and some of the more vocal people here seemed to absolutely hate it (apparently on the basis of its look and Movie-based influences), and Rob in particularly took opportunities to deride it, seemingly unable to fathom why any Transformers fan in the 20-30 age group *could possibly* enjoy it. I'm not saying you HAVE TO LIKE everything new, but it's silly to get so angry when the franchise has moved past you.

• no you don't. TRUKK NOT MUNKY!!!

• If you're so exclusionary to these forms of media it doesn't sound like you're a fan. So if you're not a fan why would you care anyways?

• {slow clap} for no other reason than when people start a flameware they don't usually end it with apologies.

• If it actually was a movie with large amounts of giant robots fighting in a fashion where I can actually tell what is going on, I would enjoy it more. However I don't care to see The Beef screaming "BUMBLEBEE" every few minutes, humping dogs, or mom on pot brownies.

• the worst part is, if they reboot it later and its' good that just means they'll make a shitload more and make it crap again. endless cycle of crap and good(or at least decent).

• Oh my god. I was wrong. I'm sorry guys I really am. All of you were right. Is it possible for me to not hate them but feel sad at them? I mean seriously what the fuck is that? God I feel terrible for defending this train wreck of a movie now. Somebody get a gun and put this thing down before it causes more damage. Like I said I'm sorry guys I now realize the error of my ways and ask if there is room for one more?

• what luxury? I was born in 81 I grew up with g1 the whole way through. I STILL like the Bay movies. As much as people complain they are truer to the source material than most of the later cartoon iterations.

• The great Floro Dery was responsible for the sleek,simple and very workable designs of G1 Transformers. If used they would take far less than 72 hours of render time per frame.

• Holy $***,it's a morphadite!

• I always get a laugh out of the concept that "overly complicated and dirty looking" some how equals "more real" and more "believable" Wait...wait...so giant robots that mass-shift, whose bot forms really don't relate to their alt-modes and move with way more grace than they should are somehow less "believable" than some overly complex erector set job that looks like something some 3rd year student in a CGI class cooked up? How does this logic work?

• It just occurred to me (and this theory may have been advanced before, including in this thread somewhere), that the Taco Twins in the 2nd movie may have been Bay's way of middle-fingering people who were complaining about the general design choices of the movie.

• The bottom line is that Rob's right - the designs of the robots in the movies are needlessly complex. It's the same thing as what happens when movie types get ahold of simple superhero costumes - they feel the need to add excessive detail for the sake of justifying their own existence. The thing is... no one working at ILM has the design sense of a John Romita, at least not in terms of being able to create designs that are iconic enough to pass muster. So instead of that, we wind up with a design aesthetic that's too busy, while rendering the characters indistinguishable from one another (although Bay's haphazard directing, editing, and blue-and-orange colour filters don't help in that area, either). I kind of think it's an ILM-exclusive issue, as I had a lot of the same problems with over-busy CGI in the Pirates movies.

• Yep. Telegraphed a mile away.

• Dude if your childhood is intact then you must be 3-5 years old because that's the only way you can look at flamey, pile-o-razor blades Prime without having your anus twitch in the bad kind of way. Sure, arm swords are neat, but if you can RECOGNIZE Peter Cullen's voice and NOT feel uneasy in the butt pipe then you're definitely blind. As for the Classics line (Universe/Generations/RTS), little homages in stuff like War for Cybertron and the comics (which come with a huge brass knuckle punch right in the dick courtesy of an artist I once loved)... All of the above are only minor menstrual pads on the gushing, angry vagina of fan-based irritation and anxiety of older fans that supported the brand since its inception. We're pretty annoying to Hasbro (and Michael Bay apparently, the fucktard) and apparently bloodthirsty psychos as well since Bob Skir has to fear for his life after Beast Machines. Well okay the DIRECT death threat for BM is what he fears, but anyway we're all tremendous assholes and yet Hasbro doesn't want to lose our money so they throw little things at us to placate our wanton desires and OCCASIONALLY they get shit right. That doesn't mean we're being catered to, that means we're being given a half-saucer of milk to cease our incessant yowling. Nevermind that Hasbro's panel shit is always packed with ADULTS WITH MONEY naming their heart's desires and Hasbro reps telling us not to "want" things because they can't make EVERY character... but they can make 5-6 different versions of the Twins from ROTF and 60 different movie bumblebees. Bend over and think of Cybertronian England, cuz if your inner child isn't crying yet then they'll just reach deeper into your roborectum until they get a hold on him and then... Well, I won't spoil it for you. Just smile and think of me when that happen, k?

• You're implying Bay has gotten around to figuring out what a Transformer is?

• I was very much entertained by Rob's FAQ to Bayformers:ROFL. Great work Rob. I look forward to the one for the Bayformers:DOTM. There are tons of images of modernized Generation 1 character models in the comic books. They could have easily translated well to the movies. But then how would Michael Bay be able to laugh maniacally at all the morons who see his movies while he swims in the Scrooge McDuck Vault size money he makes off of them?

• I don't have that luxury... I've been into Transformers ever since I was a kid back in the 80s... so these movies fucking hurt. Yes, Virgina... they've been around much longer than 2007. And I'd rather watch porn for my "bang and boom" anyway...

• How can you totally b!tch up a franchise about giant f#cking robots kick the Sh!t out of each other? Michael Bay found a way. Transformers was a slam dunk franchise. I don't think anyone was expecting the giant-robot version of Hamlet or Macbeth, but when you can make Transformers beating the crap out of each other eye-rollingly ridiculous, then that's a special kind of suck. The kind of suck that costs you $300 and a kidney in a dirty Vegas brothel.

• "Are we saying that today's average theater goer is actually dumber than a six year old from 1984?" ... yes, yes we are.

• none of them are bucktoothed. or wears faded caps. or as I am sure Bay would do, sport a hillbilly accent.

• go with God, brave traveller. go with God.

• G1 Megatron = Mullet. Solid Snake = Mullet. I'm not defending Bayformers, but sometimes we love us some mullets. Oh yeah, MacGyver = Mullet.

• You know, you are right Sharpless, our childhoods are indeed intact. And the Transformers are alive and kicking very well with IDW (great stories), and the War for Cybertron video game (never got a review Rob, shame on you). But if you think about what the younger version of you were to do right now when you saw a movie (which in our modern society is the ultimate form of realization of a concept [hence we are still bitching and moaning over Lucas last 3 debacles and not forgetting it and talking about the pretty cool books that have come out]) about your beloved childhood idols that now has another joke of a story line and probably Lazerbeak taking a dump on Mr. still-mute BumbleBee, wouldn't you just want to holler and scream? Just imagine for a moment, a revamping of The Catcher in the Rye film, done with Russel Brand as Holden and Rip Taylor as Phoebe done with the rest of the cast as pink sock puppets humping legs and CG testicles dangling throughout, TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY....every confetti throwing moment to be taken seriously. Now, any Transformers cartoon storyline never ever was remotely close to Salinger's work, but it still was valued very highly from a younger version of me like TCITR. Yes, the younger me is still safe in the past, smiling his little toothy grin while he holds his Optimus Prime toy and crappy Marvel comics, but the modern person he has become has to face a world where the things he treasured in has turned into nothing more then a VERY cheap public sex joke.

• So, I guess Larry the Cable Guy is getting more voice acting work?

• I'll say I have absolutely no nostalgia over the Transformers cartoon: never watched it, never owned any toys, nothing. And I still say that Transformers 2 was one of the worst movies I have ever paid money to see, that Michael Bay is an awful, awful director, and that America is a nation of idiots for allowing that thing to make so much money.

• Back in MY childhood, Transformers actually had a well-written, well-made cartoon that didn't talk down to the kids. Thing is, it was called Beast Wars. So when I bitch about the movies being ass-tastic in comparison to stuff that's come before (Beast Wars) and after (Animated and Prime), I have pretty firm ground to stand on.

• The real question here is... where is my TF Animated season 3 dvd??

• There goes my hero

• That's your opinion and you're entitled to it, but those other live action movies you brought up, I could say the same thing about compared to the drivel that passed for kids entertainment in the 80's. The truth is that the writers' strike WAS factor. Rob and the rest of you just like the idea of bashing Michael Bay too much to let it go, and you refuse to take off your nostalgia-colored glasses. That some of you are placing so much importance on a toy franchise you liked in your childhood I think betrays a much larger problem that goes beyond simply hating on this movie.

• Rob and his opinions be damned. I'm still going to see this and just enjoy it for what it is while all you guys nerdrage over what at the end of the day is a franchise based on toy robots. Get over yourselves, people. It's going to make a bazillion dollars whether you like it or not and there's nothing you can do about it.

• (*slow clap*)

• "Christ. You guys thought I hated Revenge of the Fallen? You have no idea what the hell I'm going to do to Transformers 3. It is fucking on. " Oh good, because I was getting far too used to not having to read at least one article a day that wasn't essentially the same god damn post from the day before.

• There's nothing wrong with seeing the old cartoon for what it was. I get ticked at people using that as an excuse for a big Hollywood move made 30 years later to be just as bad. It fact, most of the defenses I hear are really just excuses: "The 80's cartoon wasn't that great." "The concept itself isn't that great" "There was a writers strike" "It's an action movie, it's supposed to be stupid" "There's a voodo curse" I'm sorry, but I've see action movies (Indiana Jones, Aliens, Die Hard) that provide tons of action but didn't make me feel like a moron watching it. As for the cartoon, when Joel Schumacher hoisted Batman and Robin on us, I didn't hear any defenses like "that's what the old Adam West show was like, why are you mad?" I stand by my complaint that Bay is just a lousy director and no amount of sun drenched slow motion shots will change that.

• I will buy a ticket so I can review it for Topless Robot. Which is my job. Which will reimburse me for the ticket. If it weren't for TR, I would never, ever see it, except maybe on Netflix for the Rifftrax. Honest.

• This is kind of the best comments I've read for a while. Just for personal amusement. Special thanks to Rickicker and herr doktor for making me ache in laughter. It's like a warm-up for Friday afternoon.

• Mullet? Naw, looks the toy has a little Rasta in it.

• Is it wrong that I think the original cartoon was as bad as the Bay movies up until the '86 movie? (Proud comics!G1/Beast Wars/Animated/Prime fan)

• Just for reference, this bemulleted fellow is apparently Topspin. For comparison, G1 Topspin's technical specifications: "No mountain high enough, no river wide enough to stop this one robot wrecking crew. Has superior mobility due to his Cybertronic vehicular form. Views conquest of rough terrain as much a victory as beating Decepticons."

• no YOU are! Ahem. Now that's out of the way, seriously dude, you're lying if you can honestly tell me who's who during the 3rd reel of "Revenge of the Fallen". All I saw was a bunch of bipedal screaming junk heap, Bumblebee, and more bipedal screaming junk heap.

• Considering Rob's status as a journalist and the average IQ level of Hollywood, they'll probably send him free tickets in order to "reach out to our broad demographics" and appeal to the nerds, not knowing what kind of white-hot ire they would be invoking.

• XD

• No. It is. I know you have to add detail when converting from a cartoon to a live action movie, or rather CGI creatures mixed into a live action movie. Yet they went waaaaaay overboard. Hell, I wasn't even that big into Transformers back in the day, but there was something nice about their design. I even admit a number of them were shitty or stupid or goofy looking, but they're still better than this utter crap.

• I think if a friend asks me to go to this new one... I may have to never speak to them again... "Hey, wanna go see Tra.." "I divorce you. I divorce you. I divorce you."

• Thank you Rob. People online and even friends try to defend the Bay movies. They say I'm off the mark. That it's only just a show, I should really just relax. FUCK THAT. I still maintain that a bunch of admittedly kinda campy, overly commercial, and kinda dated cartoons from the 80s are -still- better than Bays pieces of shit movies. I wasn't even as huge a Transformers fan as other toylines back then. Hell, I think I actually had more GoBots as a kid. (Yes, I admit it.) Bays movies are awful. Forgetting even the bad adaptation, bad redesgins. It's just bad film making. Even ignoring the original designs the idea that putting more detail makes a better robot design is such BS. No only do you get to have less screen time for your freaking title characters, you also can't really tell what you're looking at half the time. And don't give me kids today prefer this shit. Bullshit. There was nothing wrong with the cleaner designs of the old ones. Hell, even just cleaning them up a bit, as movies would need more detail than a cartoon, would have benefited the movie greatly. Of course that's just complaining about the designs. Never mind the piss poor screen writing, bad jokes, mind numbing plot, probable racism, and.. shit.. the list goes on. These movies are just bad and it hurts my head that people, even friends of mine, defend this shit.

• Animated wasn't killed off for ROTF. Animated was killed off so Hasbro could open up their new network The Hub without having to pay Cartoon Network for the rights to the series.

• pretty sure they also gave him buck teeth

• Alright, I'll say it. I admit defeat, you've won this round. But rest assured, you haven't heard the last of me! [shakes fist at sky]

• Probably some fat, afro'd dictator with a thick Korean accent.

• come closer, and i just might tell you aaaaaall about it. XD

• what? about the mansex? XD

• "blah blah blah IS ACTUALLY DUMBER THAN ANY DESIGN IN THE ORIGINAL '80S CARTOON. " no. you are wrong and stupid.

• I bet he goes out with a bang.

• He also has kindof a face crotch eh?

• Well said. You know as I read your comment, I immediately thought of that episode of South Park "Imaginationland". And they're getting ideas from various directors. Michael Bay's turn comes up and he goes off about explosions and stuff. The General is like "those aren't ideas, they're special effects". And Michael Bay stares and says "I don't understand the difference." And the General responds, "I know you don't. Get him out of here!!!"

• "do it you chubby drunken man child" pretty much writes itself.

• Well i for one want to see this just see what else micheal bay changed....and if this is his final transformer film, how does he go out. Dont think its really fair to make so much judgement on a movie. We all know the story sucks...but its no dragonball z evolution

• if it was dreads id think it would be pretty cool...if it is indeed a mullet...God help michael bay....have mercy Rob, for he know not what he does

• Rob. Serious question. In fact, one that I'd LOVE to hear answered thoughtfully by anyone: Why will you see this film? Why will you pay good money to Michael Bay and reinforce to Hollywood that we the viewing public (and geeks in particular) will consume ANYTHING that's shiny enough? I've personally seen NONE of the Transformer movies. I won't support them. I don't support George Lucas either. Seriously. I own NOTHING Star Wars. I won't own anything written by Jeph Loeb since he tried to assist Liefeld in stealing Captain America. I also don't buy anything from McFarlane since he tried to rob Gaiman, and after the Heroes World debacle (a thing which nearly destroyed the industry and which haunts it to this very day) I sold off all my Marvel comics and didn't buy another till 10 years after Perlman left the company. Point is: I don't support things which dumb down, harm or act scandalously within industries I love. Some of these things happened a long time ago, but I don't reward poor behavior. Please, no one tell me to get over it. I have my ethics and if more people would vote with their pocket books, fewer bad things would keep being proffered. Tl;dr. Why do you see movies you KNOW are gonna suck yeti balls?

• Bless you, now he will be compete. XD

• Yay Rob! I can not wait for your review... maybe you could do a team up with a certain Mr. Plinkett? It's just sad that these films are so goddamn terrible. The cartoons had better pacing and character development. Heck, they had more robots in them! What I find bizarre is that defenders of the films claim that kids and adults won't get the movies if the filmmakers didn't "dumb it down" for them. But the cartoons are already pretty stupid, and seemed to work just fine for kids in the 1980s. Are we saying that today's average theater goer is actually dumber than a six year old from 1984?

• Just my thoughts. I'm delighted by his rage.

• Plus he pulled the not a newb because I totally have TR shirt from a year ago. Which means he has obviously at least been sorta aware of the blog. A little baffling because like, really Rob bitching is bugging him now? ON WITH THE STEAMY MAN SEX!

• Hell everytime I'm in the place that sells booze I look at the whiskey/scotch section and think of TR. LOLZ We joke about possible raging alcoholism!! I'mma stick to vodka, girl-drink-drunk-mixes, and jag, dear lord I love Jag, PUT IT IN MY MOUTH. [that's what she said]

• it also has a vagina

• Haha, he still can't properly shorten the word "Corporal".

• I'm gonna comment off topic (no shocker there). I'd just like to say, I like to think of myself as one sarcastic bastard with a penchant for throwing clever comments at people that diss them and it takes them a moment to realize they've been insulted. But after having read most of what you guys responded to Capn Kool with, I must say, I feel my game needs to greatly improve. Lol. I'm not easily impressed, but... WOW! You guys are hardcore and funny. If I could, I'd buy each of you a drink. And then we could all go off on our hatred for various things. Thank you and have a nice night. : )

• Great comments. Would read again. I love you guys, I don't know any of y'all but yer all special on account that you homies vocalize everything I cannot say about the latest mechanical abortion from Master Bayster. I am constantly rendered speechless, in awe, to see Mr. Bay show us that there is no bottom floor in hell, that things indeed can get shittier and shittier. Keep reaching for the bottom, Mr. Bay! A robot with buck teeth and a mullet. Wow. I'm kind of hoping to see a Tea Party bumper sticker in Wrecker Mode.

• Lol @ "big softie". Is that one of those double entendres I hear so much about?

• Technically that's not a mullet. "Party Out Back" is the saying. Not "Party All Around The Sides"

• "Insulting, juvenile, and reliant upon stereotypes rather than genuine character development" has been a Michael Bay schtick since his "Bad Boys" days (seriously, did we ever learn anything about Mike Lowry other than being Marcus' rich playboy cop-partner?). It's only when he did Transformers that he became famous in nerddom. As the spawn of satan.

• not til hasbro's milked this generation of kids parents dry.

• sold separately. http://www.bigbadtoystore.com/bbts/product.aspx?product=CRD10003&mode=retail&picture=out

• I like my Transformers movies like my porn, light on plot and big on boom!

• I was naive enough to think that when Michael Bay said Dark of the moon was "getting rid of the goofy humour, and the twins" that perhaps it might actually be a little better, if only because it won't try to pass off a racial stereotype as genuine characterisation. However, upon seeing the mullets etc of these nascar robots, it's evident that this film will just be as insulting, juvenile, and reliant upon stereotypes rather than genuine character development as Revenge of the fallen was. I mean, i know this isn't exactly shakespeare, but i find it so weird that despite the negative backlash Transformers 2 got for having the twins, and despite Bay actually saying he was getting rid of that side of the franchise, that he appears to be doing it all over again. I just don't understand who is supposed to benefit from a move like this...

• LOL

• Protesting hasn't accomplished anything in this country for almost 40 years. You gotta go to Egypt nowadays for that shit.

• If not blantant racism,at least a broad stereotype,and actualy mockery of a portion of its ostensible target market. Of course an ultra-realistic,un-cartoonish phenomenon such as Bayformers would never do anything so tritely stupid and hackneyed would it? I can't even bring myself to finish that utterance,we all know the answer.

• No, we go and criticize them for not having the new additions to the Mustang not being TURNS INTO A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT! Asshat.

• http://www.blogcdn.com/www.tvsquad.com/media/2006/08/512px-megatron-boxart.jpg Not even close. and this was at the top of the google search. I'm sure there's much, much worse.

• Does the fact that the NASCAR robots have mullets and might be fucking their sisters make them racist too? I guess as long as it is portrayed by a CGI robot or a puppet (Jeff Dunham) it is not offensive. I think the next movie needs to have Prius driving lesbots that have bad hair cuts and play field hockey.

• Fuck. You. I wish three more starwars movies upon you. enjoy.

• The boys at Rifftrax must be licking their chops what will certainly be a target rich environment. Mike Bay is what would have happened if Ed Wood had 200 million dollars to make a movie.

• "quality Transformers content is still being produced" Yep, it's Pri- "Go check out the IDW comic series." ... No. Everything IDW has produced in the last two years, aside from the AMAZING Last Stand of the Wreckers and Maximum Dinboots, has either been god-awful, whether it's by the braindead and cliche-ridden hack jobs of Shane McCarthy or the utterly bland and molasses-paced work Mike Costa shits out. That said, DOTM still looks pretty dire. I wish Animated hadn't been killed off for the tremendous piece of shit that was ROTF.

• I dunno, about the only positive I've ever gotten from these movies is "the special effects are pretty good and the robots look cool." It's dnagerous to try to find anything else to like. At all.

• I refuse to punch babies - however, I am open to drop-kicking the elderly and ruthlessly mocking the disabled...will that do?

• And just as my Devastator toy did not come with a pair of balls, this will not come with his own little beer. *sighs* But at least he has the overbite to open one up.

• Mr. Yunioshi (Mickey Rooney) from "Breakfast at Tiffany's" comes to mind...

• Right on

• one more to your FFF-to-write list, Doc Braxy? DX

• I hate it on the basis that each and every one of these entries are more "The Life and Times of Sam Witwicky and Family and Friends, With A Bunch of Robots In There Somewhere" instead of a real spiritual successor to a "Transformers" name. Seriously, if this movie had been called anything else other than "Transformers", I don't think it would receive as much of a backlash around here. Hell, Bay could've called this movie "The Bayformers" canonically, and I would've seen it without the malice and hatred I've ended up with today. I wouldn't praise it, probably, but I still won't be bitter about it.

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