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LONDON -- "Harry Potter" director David Yates is teaming up with the BBC to turn its iconic sci-fi TV series "Doctor Who" into a bigscreen franchise.
Yates, who directed the last four Potter films, told Daily Variety that he is about to start work on developing a "Doctor Who" movie with Jane Tranter, BBC Worldwide's L.A.-based exec VP of programming and production.
"We're looking at writers now. We're going to spend two to three years to get it right," he said. "It needs quite a radical transformation to take it into the bigger arena."
That's probably not good.
Yates made clear that his movie adaptation would not follow on from the current TV series, but would take a completely fresh approach to the material.
"Russell T. Davies and then Steven Moffat have done their own transformations, which were fantastic, but we have to put that aside and start from scratch," he said.
That's definitely not good.
Yates and Tranter are looking for writers on both sides of the Atlantic.
"We want a British sensibility, but having said that, Steve Kloves wrote the Potter films and captured that British sensibility perfectly, so we are looking at American writers too," he explained.
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. First of all, the Harry Potter movies don't exactly exude Britishness. They star kids with British accents, but that's about it. How many people even drink tea in the Potter movies? Meanwhile, Doctor Who is British as fuck. Even the shit in outer space is somehow British. He travels in a British police box from the '60s, for fuck's sa--
Oh.
Oh no. He's not going to be in a British police box anymore, is he? You fucks. If the TARDIS doesn't look like a British police box, you're not making a Doctor Who movie. Period. Even the goddamn Fox movie had enough sense to keep that right.
Is it possible for Americans to not describe an English accent as a British one? After all, Britain is the collection of four different countries (yes, different) with vastly different accents and separate languages. It's essentially the same as saying all the Americas speak with a New York accent or something.
The Doctor is Britain's Superman. I don't know why anyone would want to fuck with Super....Oh wait, yeah something like that did happen.
This had been totally dismissed now. This is just the same rumour that's been going for ages with Tim Burton's replaced. There's been no official announcement outside of Variety.
This project barely has a director, it doesn't have a script, there's no story or idea, and it doesn't even come close to having any actors. Why are we getting so upset? Wait, we're nerds, we get upset about any rumor.And why the fuss about how it's not Doctor Who if it doesn't have a police box? Maybe this Doctor fixed the chameleon circuit.Anyway, that's like saying Star Trek isn't Star Trek without the Enterprise. DS9 and Voyager proved this theory wrong.
You do realize that there has already been a movie (two actually) involving people traveling through time in a phone booth.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt00... & http://www.imdb.com/title/tt01...
Not to mention the cartoon... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt00...
And the television series... http://www.imdb.com/title/tt01...
This post reminds me of the Invader Zim episode, "Battle of the Planets." Specifically, the part where the man at the picnic table screams for almost a minute when his soda can is squished by Mars.
Given that there are no actual details or story yet, its probably a little too soon to panic. Who knows? It might actually end up being decent. The comparisons to Bond are pretty spot-on, too. If they decide to do multiple films, they can change the actor, and not have to really explain why. Each film can be a standalone story. I'm actually surprised they didn't greenlight this much, much sooner.
Can you imagine the marketing and promotions for this? There will be a TARDIS on every corner. And I will steal one for my living room.
Yeah. Fuck this movie. Get a good budget and do the Time War and keep it in continuity. McGann could use the work (oh, and surround him with top-flight actors to attract the business, please... I'm kinda sure you could get Timothy Dalton). This is lining up to be WORSE THAN THE FOX MOVIE.
why would they want to do a reboot of a 50+ year old Franchises ................................... don't they know if they mess it up they will face the wrath of the internet...............and who decides that such a hugely popular tv show (both in the UK and US and around the world) needs a reboot............is it a prerequisite of TV producers that they need a head injury to qualify.
Jane Tranter... Funny thing, for a horrifying second, I had read Julie Taymor.
Doctor Who: Turn Off The Tardis, anyone
"It needs quite a radical transformation to take it into the bigger arena."
Why? Most Doctor Who story lines take at least two episodes to tell, meaning most Doctor Who stories are as long as a feature length film. Exactly what radical transformations need to be made? Why can't the film production company just toss a little money at the existing series's producers and say, "Here, give us big screen effects and don't skimp on the sex appeal." Ta da! It's a movie.
Because then it wouldn't be "rebooted". It would actually be good. And we know Hollywierd hasn't wanted to make a good movie in years.
Uh, just about everyone drinks tea at some point in the films. It's almost always on the table at mealtimes and is mentioned on several occasions. Also, the *entire cast* of HP (with maybe one or two exceptions) were British. Rowling made an all British cast pretty much mandatory. The series is as British as you can get despite an American screenwriter.
My problem with this news is that it sounds like a "re-imagining", which would suck, and it may also signal the end of the series, which would suck worse than a sarlacc with mouth sores.
On the plus side, that's a perfect Reactionpicture™ of the Doctor for future FFFs.
Downside: There are many fics that would deserve it. And they'd start multiplying as soon as that pic went into service—'tis the way of things. It's our lot in life.
WHAT THE FUCK?! What the fuck is happening in Hollywood?! First it's The Last Airbender, next it's Akira, and now it's Dr. Who?! Did they have a gas leak in Hollywood again or something?! I just don't get what these high-paying executives think sometimes other than "More whores and cocaine!"
Was "Revenge of the Nerds" based on true events or something?! Because I'm really starting to believe that those jocks that they beat at the end of the movie all grew up, flocked to Hollywood, and became movie executives to punish us all. Fucking TWATS!
The cool thing is, when The Doctor reads this on his TransDimensional Google Alerts (tm), he can stop them. I mean, he once destroyed ten million Dalek ships all at once; surely he can put one shitty movie idea into turnaround.
Could they really fuck up pronouncing the word "Doctor" as much as TLA fucked up pronouncing the word "Aang"?
You know what I think I'm kind of hell I'm picturing in my head right now? Channing Tatum as the Doctor and Megan Fox as the female companion who are going to be fighting transforming Spider-Daleks. I can already imagine them trying to do a Marvel movie-esque "meta fanboy joke" in a scene where Tatum Doctor considers disguising his TARDIS as a blue police box but then says "Fuck that! A blue police box! Ha! Isn't that so silly and awful!" (winks to camera while taking out pictures of the past 11 British Doctors, promptly ripping them up, burning the remains, and pissing on the ashes as the audience hears a random Linkin Park song that has the words "Doctor Who" awkwardly shoved into the lyrics.). And I guess for the villain, why not bring back Eric Roberts as The Master again? I mean he was so......uh.....well...I don't know what Roberts Master was in the American movie. Oh god I think I need to lie down and watch "The Waters of Mars" and "The Eleventh Hour" now to wash away the awfulness.
The horror! But you might have just seen into the future. What Hollywood wants, Hollywood will fuck up.
The only thing that could make this movie worse is if they ACTUALLY DID integrate it into Moffat's continuity by pulling a Sylvester McCoy on Matt Smith, and have Smith definitively killed by walking out into gangland gunfire (or perhaps in a HILARIOUS scene where he the bimbo companion accidentally kills him by performing heart surgery on his twin hearts, like a horrible game of Operation) and THEN we would get the new Movie Doctor.
HELL YES! This is gonna be AWESOME! I'm picturing the reimagined Tardis as maybe this super-tricked-out van with a sweet-ass airbrushed painting of a flaming Dalek on the side, Big Daddy Roth style. And Billy - that's what it turns out the Doctor's name is, BTW - Billy has this sonic screwdriver that looks like Han Solo's blaster, and a CGI dog named K-9 who has three heads (not all at once until the climax of the movie, of course) and one of them is Scooby-Doo. Plus some effing HAWT chicks who are his "companions".
OMG I'M SO GOING TO LOVE THIS!
Oh, and it turns out Dr. Billy was the guy who first built a dalek but it got out of control and turned into a time travelling space pimp and has captured all the hottest babes in history and now Billy has to face his destiny and take that d-bag DOWN. And his friend Eric the Master got turned to the dark side coz he's got a weakness for the ladies (all of which Dalek now owns). But don't be too surprised if he maybe has a change of heart toward the end of the climactic battle scene....
What? No No No NO! I can see it now, - They will have a new doctor that in no way as awesome as any previous to him.- The TARDIS will no longer be a 1960's blue police box but a modern day outdoor bathroom to better conceal it (also will serve as a metaphor for this movie)- The companion will be Megan Fox/Kirstan Dunst/any other famous "girl next door" actress- Daleks never exist because the director does not find them scary.- The Master will be replayed by Eric Roberts. - Have pointless cameo's of the real Doctors where they appear as a running civilian, be stepped aside for the "real" doctor, ending with the said doctor/s to look back so we all recognise who they are and rightfully rage.- Cybermen are Borg.- Sirullians will be an antagonist.- The Director will be shit canned midway through filming and production and will be replaced by Roland Emmrich, Uve Boll or Micheal Bay.Its the end times Whovians, I have foreseen it.
Anyone up for a Dr. Who/Akira mashup ala Hollywood? Maybe they can get J. Taymor involved, just to spice things up.
Here's an idea: take all the money you're planning to use to make this "series" of films.
Then just burn it, and cut out the middle-man.
This should totally be the Friday Contest. What will the plot be of this Doctor Who? I'm betting it involves explosions, daleks (But in a twilight sort of way: before they go into the machine, one of them is an emo-hunky guy who the Doctor's perky yet angst rid companion is in love with), and the Tardis being played by the voice of Sigourney Weaver. In 3D. I think I'll go camp out in front of the theater now.
Haven't we learned our lesson from the TV movie? That an Americanized Who will be awkward and stupid? No? Fine then, I'll just enjoy that picture of Tennant's RAGEFACE and be on my way!
Blindly obnoxious, ravingly ignorant, far-reaching, whiny, angsty, knee-jerking fanboy nerd-raging uninformed, and utterly ridiculous assumptions ahoy!
A t-shirt: David Tennant in his Doctor threads, holding a cup of tea (with the pinky out, of course), a saucer in the other, and the following phrase: "Doctor Who: British As Fuck!" Make it!
I think you're all missing the point.David Yates isn't a very good director. Granted he exudes competence, but that's a long way from being able to deliver a "good" movie. He's known for the last four HARRY POTTER movies, which would have been as creatively and financially successful even had Brett Ratner directed them. No one acclaims them for the cinematic heights they achieved because they're really not that interesting. David Yates just showed up and didn't screw them up. And now he needs another property to make people realize THAT HE MATTERS!But he doesn't. DOCTOR WHO matters because it's lasted almost 50 years. And it doesn't need David Yates. Or a movie.
Not that interesting?! Compared to the first four movies, it's a gap in quality as great as night and day. And he managed that with the four worst novels of the series as his source material. He took three average to poor books and made them into decent movies! Yates isn't any kind of auteur, but what he does make is thoroughly professional cinema.
This movie is still unecessary though, and plainly the Beeb trying to crack the American market in the only way that experience suggests: with a big, dumb, and truncated "Blockbuster" version of the original.
Look you're all missing the fucking point. This is the perfect opportunity to have The Rock play The Doctor! So many Cyberman Rock Bottoms! The People's Elbow hitting the Daleks hard! So much smack talking in the Tardis alone! Do you smell what the Doc is cookin!? No Jammy Dodgers I'll tell you that much right fucking now!
And yeah, bowties are cool, Jabronies.... end with the Doctor's Eyebrow. Fade to black.
Jane TranterSome of you may know her work.Specifically the six episode "Best Of" Doctor Who BBCA filler that covered a mere two seasons (series) of the show (to keep it simple for the audience) and featured "expert comentary" most of whom had clearly never seen the show before.
What a waste, I'd much rather see a reboot of Inspector Spacetime in theaters.
Beginning to think I'll never see the Blorgons on the big screen...
Nerd news, humor and self-loathing. Edited by Luke Y. Thompson
