LONDON -- "Harry Potter" director David Yates is teaming up with the BBC to turn its iconic sci-fi TV series "Doctor Who" into a bigscreen franchise.
Yates, who directed the last four Potter films, told Daily Variety that he is about to start work on developing a "Doctor Who" movie with Jane Tranter, BBC Worldwide's L.A.-based exec VP of programming and production.
"We're looking at writers now. We're going to spend two to three years to get it right," he said. "It needs quite a radical transformation to take it into the bigger arena."
That's probably not good.
Yates made clear that his movie adaptation would not follow on from the current TV series, but would take a completely fresh approach to the material.
"Russell T. Davies and then Steven Moffat have done their own transformations, which were fantastic, but we have to put that aside and start from scratch," he said.
That's definitely not good.
Yates and Tranter are looking for writers on both sides of the Atlantic.
"We want a British sensibility, but having said that, Steve Kloves wrote the Potter films and captured that British sensibility perfectly, so we are looking at American writers too," he explained.
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE. First of all, the Harry Potter movies don't exactly exude Britishness. They star kids with British accents, but that's about it. How many people even drink tea in the Potter movies? Meanwhile, Doctor Who is British as fuck. Even the shit in outer space is somehow British. He travels in a British police box from the '60s, for fuck's sa--
Oh no. He's not going to be in a British police box anymore, is he? You fucks. If the TARDIS doesn't look like a British police box, you're not making a Doctor Who movie. Period. Even the goddamn Fox movie had enough sense to keep that right.