• It doesn't. I tried. Tron: Legacy, on the other hand...

• The Phantom Juggalo.

• Or, er, "Bonnn. Bonnnnnnn." Is that really what the Emperor says in the French dub?

• Seriously. The Dark Side gets the lettuce? If I were designing them burgers, the Dark one would be slathered in cheese and bacon, and the Jedi would be, like, a veggie burger with onion, tomato, and soy cheese. Whenever someone ordered the Dark burger, the employee taking the order would have to say, "Goood. Gooooooood." 

• Yeah, but hawking Star Wars merch is one thing. Loaning your characters to other brands is a whole other depth. It's like, I never mind seeing Snoopy dolls in toy stores, but every time I see the little guy frolicking on TV to sell me insurance, I thank God that Bill Watterson's ownership paranoia saved Calvin & Hobbes from a similar fate.

• I am almost positive that's CGI trying to <i>look</i> like stop-motion animation. Look at Yoda's face. It reeks of texture mapping.

• really we used the green ketchup to make sloppy joes with for our ski team and it unnerved the competition that came over for dinner. It tasted good but looked like nuclear waste straight from the barrel.

• I bet the "Dark Vador" bun is just like the actual Darth Vader....Hard and black on the outside, but old white and moldy on the inside.

• I more noticed the multiple SW  cans designs -- ala episode 1 and pepsi....

• "You don't know the power of saturated fat!"

• Hmmm, that Brisk commercial really captures the feel of the prequel trilogy.

• Of course. Lucas has always avoided entanglements with companies like BK and Mickey Ds. The French fast-food industry was <i>always</i> a target of the "original vision". What; you thought he used to have a <i>different</i> name? I'm sure you are mistaken. He has always been "Dark Vador".

• I wanna the Dark Vador Burger!

• "...please don't pretend there's some kind of fine line of integrity..." I wholeheartedly agree with you on that one!

• Am I the only one who noticed they mimicked the nunchuck fail guy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsEZ2lpM0Yw) at about 15 seconds in?  Looks pretty similar.

• There is a chain of bakeries in Australia known as Bread Top that sell a range of asian styled baked goodies. One of their flagship items is the Bamboo Charcoal Bun, which is an almost pitch black bread roll that is very soft inside. Also very delicious.

• To me, those things on the Jedi burger look like french fries. Which are awesome on burgers

• I actually enjoy the Brisk commercials. They do some good claymation.

• ...bread

• HEY-YOOOO!!

• I am forced to believe, by that ad's choice of juxtapositioning, that the green chunks on that Jedi burger are Yoda's poop.

• When I looked at the Jedi Burger, the first thing I heard was Abe Simpson saying, "Ever seen a burger that can take a bite outta YOU?" Although I've gotta say, nothing quite as appetizing as sinking my teeth into some hot black buns.

• Squid ink isn't gross. It's actually very tasty.

• How sad is that Darth Maul gets SIGNIFICANTLY more lines in a dumb 30 second commercial than he did in a whole freakin movie. How sad is it that the most iconic element of Episode 1 is a stupid ass demonic clown with zero character depth, no interesting dialogue, and no real actions of any consequence other than killing someone.

• Agreed, definitely looks like cheddar cheese curds.

• I enjoyed the nod to Afro-Ninja at 16 seconds in :-)

• Why not just have the "Jedi Burger" be a veggie burger with lettuce and stuff on it?  Also, the "Dark Burder" could have had a salmon pattie or even a barbecue chicken pattie on it. Ze French, they don't like the Burgurs.

• Although I do enjoy german black bread, this is not it. Looks either like it's been dyed with some nasty artificial coloring or with squid ink, which is also gross.

• The white stuff on the Jedi Burger looks like chunks of hard-boiled egg, which would be DELICIOUS on a burger.

• That tea commercial was like watching a million dollar budgeted Robot Chicken sketch.  Remember that Star Wars comedy that the Robot Chicken guys were going to produce for Lucas...................

• These aren't the burgers you're looking for

• Why the F&#* is Darth Maul speaking!?

• Darth Vader wasn't in Episode 1 - this reminds me of that LEGOS Star Wars The Clone Wars special they had on (I think it was) the cartoon network where Lucas had to have Vader escorted off the set, but I guess if you're willing to cough up the licensing fee you can put anything you want on it... oh yeah DEEP FRIED GUNGAN BURGERS! That's my million dollar idea of the week.

• You honestly think a McSoy patty is gonna be any more palatable?

• Did anyone else notice the tag "download the Brisksaber App at Facebook?"

• It depends on the rest of the sandwich. The meat needs to be strong enough for the bread to compliment it, not overshadow it.  Good corned beef works well with Pumpernickel just as well as Rye, for example. But hey, you know, when you go black bread, you can't go back.

• mmm... I love black breads - there are some wonderful german and russian black breads they're perfect for sandwiches and burgers so long as you don't mind your food having... flavor. Some people think they might be too much for a bun but those people are generally white bread eating morons.

• I'm betting cheese curd.

• Actually, I think those might be poutine-style cheese curds on the Jedi Burger, although that wouldn't explain the lack of veggies on it...Or maybe it might, actually. Are veggies considered an instrument of the Sith? Also, anyone note the Sith burgers use a different sauce & cheese? The Darth Maul one does look a bit tasty, I agree. Also, am I the only one disappointed that the Brisk ad didn't end with Yoda going "Brisk that is, baby!"

• This.  It reminds me of the time several years ago when Margaret Weiss of "Dragonlance" fame was going to write a SW EU book but backed out because of the Energizer commercial with Darth Vader in it.  She said said something along the lines of losing respect for the license for selling out.  I was like, "Woman, have you never heard of Star Wars before this?  The damn thing practically INVENTED movie merchandising. Hawking batteries is NOTHING!" TC

• Probably more likely. 

• I thought they smelled bad .... on the outside.

• THESE ARE DISGUSTING. (Make a veg version, and I'll order five in a heartbeat.)

• I just noticed the Jedi Burger bun looks yellow-orangish.

• Episode I needed fart shoes.

• I'm guessing "Dark Vador" is Darth Vader's name in France, like how "Dark" is "Dark (Dark = puissance obscure)".

• Well he is Iridonian, who knows what living on Dathomir did to him.

• So, Darth Maul absorbs the Brisk through his skin without drinking it? Is that canon for how the Zabrak intake their fluids?

• I believe the things on the jedi burger are refered to as "yoda niblets"

• Not liking the overly butt-like look of the, ahem, buns (tee hee).  Makes sense that Vador's [sic] buns are charred black.  Maul's buns are red and (I assume) pimply?  TMI. And after OneMinuteGalactica's (admittedly LOL-worthy) video, I'm afraid to even look too hard at the Yoda buns.  Makes the Yoda image even funnier.

• This - THIS is fuel for Lucas to send the message out of Fake Lucas' colon! Feed Modern Lucas a truckload of these, and he just might fart out the real Lucas!

• Finding out Jabba the Hutt is a hermaphrodite is one of the many reasons I no longer read books from the Star Wars EU. True story.

• What do YOU mean, "you people?"

• What with their penchant for snails, I'm surprised that there's no "Jabba Burger": succulent bits of snail meat and Brie atop two quarter pounder patties, nestled between a green bun. Aw haw HAW...(kisses fingers.)

• I see nothing green on or in the Jedi burger. I think Rob needs to get a new monitor. 

• And clearly, my fat thumbs and phones do not mix well.

• Great, now I want to start ranting like Ricky Ricardo. I know it's french, but it's the only ranting I know in a different language.

• What do you mean "you people"?

• Not that I'm defending what looks like gross ad disgusting food, but there's an air of "star wars? Being used to SELL shit?!" like people are still astonished that star wars is being whores out for merchandise, as though it hasn't been whoring itself out since 77.

• It's a trap! ...for your colon. 

•  It looks like what grows on the rim of my Styrofoam cup when I use it too long before replacing it. I think it is black mold maybe the burger bun is a compressed cake of balck mold? Take that Shiitake!

• I have the strange urge to punch someone in the face, and burn my Jedi robe after seeing that commercial...

• Thank you. I saw this on another website a few days ago and showed my roommate - we had the exact same thought: "Maybe I won't try the bun that's coloured the same as the deadly mold spores that product would turn into if left long enough". Although the nerd in me is more affronted by the spelling of "Vador". I ate green ketchup once when that came out, I've paid my "try a weird coloured foodstuff" dues. That's pretty close to where I draw the "novelty colored food" line.

• Oh that bun is just seared on the outside to a delicious cinder.

• OMFG, it looks like the Jedi burger is a mouth full of teeth!  Kill it with with fire!!!  I'd totally try any of these though, just to say I tried it.  Also, the Brisk commercial is just head-shakingly bad.

• Okay, see, pumpernickel bread is cool, although a little heavy for a hamburger bun. BUT WHAT IS THAT UNHOLY BLACK BREAD THAT THEY ARE USING?????

• I'm guessing the bun is just white bread dyed with squid ink just like black pasta.

• ergot hallucinations might make the movie bearable.

• The Vador burger looks like the bun might be  German pumpernickel, which would be pretty awesome. The Jedi burger looks like just chunks of Cheese, not sure what kind, knowing the french a soft cheese I'm sure.   But overall they look like they could be pretty good. Other then the fact that quick is terrible. It is like Jack in the Box's drunken IQ challenged French cousin.  

• The Dark Vador burger would probably try to choke you anyway.

• A little ergot and blue milk? What's not to love?

• That Dark Vador Burger makes me really happy that I don't eat hamburgers. 

• ...actually, I'd take the Brisk commercial over "Episode I" any day. Hell, Maul gets more lines.

• That Darth Maul burger actually looks pretty good; the redness of the bun implies that there might be some legitimate spices in it. The Yoda burger might be good too, if those really are avacado bits (marshmallow, not so much). I wouldn't even try the "Dark Vador" burger though; over thousands of years, evolution has hardwired the human brain with the instinct that eating black bread is probably a bad idea.

TotalComments: 74