This time it's French director Fabien Dubois, who, apparently impatient with Warner Bros.' inability to make an incredibly shitty live-action Akira movie, has decided to make his own. Here's a teaser for it, which does pretty much everything wrong I suspect the official Akira movie will also do wrong when and if it ever gets made. Warning: If you're at all a fan of the original manga or anime movie, seeing a white dude levitating bullets while wearing a shitty version of Kaneda's jacket may induce vomiting. (Via Twitch)
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97 comments
Why? The original was an overrated piece of crap anyway.... makes my PENIS look like penis in its gigantic hands
Perhaps we need the new category of "Criminally Awful Acts of Nerdery". Mind you some official movies and TV could fall into that category.
Thirded. With Micheal Fucking Bay leading the list. Then both French and American Akiras. Then work from there. (Looking at you Herbert Jr.)
NO.... NO! NO NO NO! NOOO!!!
WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS?! WHY?! ONE SHITTY LIVE ACTION ADAPTATION IS ENOUGH!!!
I was filled with rage when I saw this, and the moment the "Akira" title and the Meow-Mix theme at the end plays, I blacked out. When I came to, I was punching a clown in the face repeatedly on some six year old's birthday party.
I have raged, sir. Pray that I do not rage further.
Dunno. I bolted out of there soon as I heard the police sirens. But I did have bloodied white make-up on my knuckle. Does that count? XD
Hey Akira fans check out my Akira Bike Project (google Matus1976's Akira Bike Project) for the only fully functional high performance Akira inspired motorcycle in the world.
Hey guys, you should check out this awesome adaptation of the Akira manga I just found, it's called Akira! I'm pretty sure it's new, although the back of the case says it was made in 1988, but that was probably just a typo, so whatever, because it's just as good if not better than most films coming out these days, so it must be new!
if i never see an akira movie ill be fine whit it..nothing is ever gonna compare to the manga ,,even the original movie didnt have all the great parts of the book..sooooooooo just let it go..
The problem with that is the fact that the people who did the Akira movie understood it's source material, and whatever changes they have to make for the movie is due to time constraints: telling the entire saga requires TWO movies, one for before Akira nuking Neo Tokyo after Takashi takes a bullet to the brain, and one for after. I'm guessing they don't have the funds for that, so they just compressed the whole thing into one.
What Hollywood, and apparently this snail-sucking newcomer, would be doing is none of the sort. They would gut Akira out, take only the bits and pieces that would bait manga fans to see it (like the jacket), and give it a fuck-all story that only includes explosions and psychic psychic bendy spoon psychic psychic.
It's like Japan adapting the Wizard of Oz, and changing Dorothy into a Magic Girl and having the finale as a battle with the Wicked Witch riding a giant mecha!
Though you gotta admit Dorthy riding a giant mecha to fight the Wicked Witch would be fucking awesome.
I...suppose it is. Dammit, is there NOTHING that the Japanese can use to mock American pop culture that won't inevitably turn into AWESOME?! XD
What the fuck? That's more like an Infamous fan film than a fucking Akira fan film. Chronicle is a better adaption of Akira than this shitty short trailer. They even mixed up the two goddamn main characters. They gave Tetsuo Kanaeda's jacket. Never mind giving him the name of Eliot something. How goddamn lame. At least have the respect for the Japanese creator and characters to NOT name your film 'Akira', be it a shitty Hollywood film or a shitty fanfilm. Fan films are supposed to be better than truer to the source than the Hollywood adaption, not worse. This guy comes across as some asshole who saw Akira years ago or saw some trailer and decided to jump on the anime adaption bandwagon to get noticed by Hollywood. Fuck him. He can't even get a short trailer right. How hard would it have been to find a Japanese or even a damn Asian actor? The shit's all blue screen with bad cgi. He could have done Neo-Tokyo easy. Screw this racist bastard.
You might as well be remaking Schindler's List or To Kill A Mockingbird under the same title set in modern day Los Angleles. That is about the same sense as remaking Akira in America or Europe. You cannot just uproot the context of many films to a new location and ehtnicity without completely destroying it.
Wait....I don't understand....who the hell this French douche is supposed to be playing, I don't know any Elliot Grahams in Akira...I mean christ you couldn't even keep the FIRST LETTER of a character's name? Is this guy supposed to be Kaneda or Tetsuo? I mean he is levitating bullets and GETTING UPPITY so.....I would assume Tetsuo, but apparently he is wearing Kaneda's jacket....so did Kaneda get the physic powers and Tetsuo get the sweet ride and protagonist status? TETSUO WEARS A FUCKING BADASS RED CAPE LIKE SUPERMAN BECAUSE HE FANCIES HIMSELF A GOD LIKE BEING AND KANEDA WEARS THE PILL JACKET BECAUSE HE IS A LITTLE MOTORCYCLE DELINQUENT WHO IS THE LEADER OF A BIKE GANG, IT'S NOT HARD TO RESEARCH THIS SHIT. Why couldn't the trailer just have been Kaneda and his motorcycle crew fighting those clown gang bastards? At least it would have been action packed and not have put me to fucking sleep.
He killed Kaneda and took his jacket. Just like the manga.
And they don't ride motorcycles. They ride ponies.
Magical flying ponies that look suspiciously like MLP:FF. Gotta have that merchandising.
Because these gaijin film-makers are required by law to fuck-up any adaptation of Japanese nerdy property, as a way to get back to Japan for Pearl Harbor, if the Internet is to be believed.
Can you detect my sarcasm?
That shitty trailer makes me what to burn something... Like the packed primer for this Hollywood shitfest!
Sigh..and the French wonder why they are the second-most reviled country in the world. It seems this guy is gunning for number one...
WTF!!!!!! This REALLY bums me out!!!!!!! I wasnt even a fan of the DVD with the new dialog let alone some froggy live-action remake!!!!
Damn. And here I thought that fan fic writers were demented. What the Hell?? Really???Please tell my your fucking with us Rob.....Please.......
*Edit* After re watching the trailer, I have come to three conclusions. One, this is real. Two, the director of this flick need his ass handed to him. Three, I have the lead shot filled baseball bats.
Ugh... If this narration is anything to go by, then who ever is behind this seems to understand the Story as much as the Hollywood big wigs threatening us with the terrible Kirsten Steward/Kaneda is a Bar owner mess.
Also there is a killer looking Kaneda jacket out there since January and they go with this ugly bootleg Hoody. FAIL.
So the only thing that looks remotely like it's related to Akira is the pill on the back of his "jacket" (It's a freaking hoddie, what the hell?). Fuck, those things he was levitating didn't even resemble bullets, they looked like pills too. If I wasn't told this was supposed to be Akira, I'd assume it was some gritty Dr. Mario fan-movie.
i give the guy props for wanting to join warners in trying to the immpossible and make a film version of Akira knowing that as warners keeps proving it can't be done with out as this trailer shows screwing and totaly turning Akira into a train wreck
This looks absolutely terrible. I mean, its a terrible idea to make a live action AKIRA, but this is probably...no, this is most certainly worse then if WB had made it.
Who the fuck is this guy? What does he have to do with Japanese motorcycle gangs? And why the fuck is he levitating pills in his hand....
ugh this is awful
WTF! Here we go again with "white washing" a great Asian phenomenon!Are Asians not worthy to be in a project that they created?
Their small stature makes them difficult to actually see when filmed on camera, especially in these days of Hi-Def. Have you ever wondered why Japan makes everything into a cartoon?
The actual movies that do come out of Japan don't even use Japanese actors, they're just a bunch of white people taped together.
