You Have Woken Up in a Dark Room

Thursday, February 23, 2012 at 9:04 am

You must escape. Will you:
1) Play this YouYube homage to the slightly belligerent text adventures of yore?
2) Go to another, less silly website?
3) Believe me when I tell you there's actually a good ending hidden in there somewhere?
3) Play the game, but only after pointing out that "text adventure" and "slightly belligerent" are kind of redundant?

Tags: Fan Games, Impressive Acts of Nerdery, Retro Gaming

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54 comments

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Lan

ANSWERS- Because nobody else fucking would. Fucking game wasting peoples time and getting people frustrated. This is the reason i HATE gaming!

You need to get to the room "Turn Around Redux"- its the room where he glares at you without saying anything, only thing is, you fail to realise the video is 2:16 long. He speaks backwards, so you need to record the voice and play it backwards somehow. he will give out a URL, but its wrong and the last digit needs to be a capital. it leads here-http://www.youtube.com/wa... game.

Lan

OOOOOk looks like i ran out of text space. go here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

aw, man.

not cool, dude.

jingjingjing

http://lnk.co/IHOTL

crazycityslicker

I ended up with Todo and Dorothy LOL

Tuarnen

.. I don't know if it's just me, but I swear I heard BRIAN BLESSED when it auto-played right before I saw it.

I'm now sad that BRIAN BLESSED will never voice a CYOA series..

jianjianjian

http://lnk.co/IHOTL

Kate Cooley

This is what Zork needed - someone yelling at you before the grues gotcha.

Tredlow

Got the real ending! Which is more of a To Be Continued...

Oh, boy! I can't wait!

Lan

how the fuck did you get there!?

Tredlow

I don't wanna ruin it, but I'll give you a hint;

donkey crap.

Tredlow

What's the first result when you googled donkey crap? You are not supposed to look for donkey crap, and there are no donkey crap in the game, but the first result when you google donkey crap is a clue to find your way out of then dark room...

and you may need to turn around more than once...

Lan

I wish you did. I googled - donkey crap, turn around, and apply 60s logic and got zero results of relevance.

I've been all around this maze and never once found donkey crap. where about's roughly should we be looking?

Tredlow

google donkey crap,turn around,apply 60s logic.

I swear to god, I am not messing with you. I just don't wanna spoil the brilliance of the game.

Ragnar

That's rearly not helpful. I'm trapped. Goddamn narrator is pissing me off.

Bugdodger

This wasn't as fun as I remember Choose Your Own Adventure books being.

That's probably my own fault though, I used to seek out all the possible endings and then work my way backwards...

ExecutorElassus

decision-tree pl0x

Tzvi

There is a decision-tree in front of you. Of course you can't see it because it is dark, as one would expect it to be in a dark room. Find the lightswitch!

ExecutorElassus

why do you hate my happiness?

Guest

Their PENIS, of course. It's the only parts of their body that have any control over what they do!

Denjiro

Can FFF authors really be said to have a "Working" end?

Guest

this is TR, we don't allow happiness in here that doesn't come from the working end of a bottle of alcoho furiously masturbating FFF author

ExecutorElassus

/me goes back to hate-fucking himself with an old Teddy Ruxpin doll while watching back episodes of Care Bears, drunk and crying all the while.

Dr. Abraxas

this is TR, we don't allow happiness in here that doesn't come from the working end of a bottle of alcohol

Dr. Abraxas

you awaken in a dark room - you have entered the dimension of alcohol and sorrow. a blogger utters a death groan as a Like Like cram its PENIS into Elmo. there's a signpost up ahead. you have entered the FFF zone

Guest

A raptor eyes you up and whickers darkly as he amiably chops his onions churning the size of baseballs. Tentacles slither around you, looking for a car to molest. Cheetara licks her lips as she inflates a balloon around a Snarf's PENIS. A lemur hides in the anus of a flying bison. And you feel nothing but a mix of lust, horror and burgeoning insanity.

Ragnar

Please god, someone help me! I'm trapped in a dark room!

Vangald

Is it wrong that I tried to sleep every chance I got.

I also started break dancing when he said no-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Patrick Byrne

Damn it...my finger turned into Chernobyl, exploded and now the radio active isotopes will decay in the dark room for 120 years =(

The Conjurer of Cheap Tricks

Those walls are really jealous.

forester

hey man, I did a choose your own adventure thingamajigy too! http://www.talesfromthenthdime...not quite the same but the general concept is there. I hope more people do this type of thing.

Seltzer King

Haw! The "no" answer "crash' is a nice touch.

Tifaf

damn............................. that's creepy.

Ridureyu

I got eaten by a grue.

Lupe Ellis

Nice way to start the day.

Shwee-Shwee

Rob...it's too early in the morning to be posting videos with a thumbnail that looks like that. O_o

Dr. Abraxas

actually it's never too early. actually, there's no reason to stop...

Alex Langford

I thought this was going to be that never-ending stairwell SCP-087 one. Thank godddd. All I've managed to do so far is make walls jealous of each other.

Alex Langford

And suddenly I have a penis.

Dr. Abraxas

yours ... or someone elses? :)

Dr. Abraxas

bad lesbian!