The 10 Most Evil Monkeys In Geekdom

By T.J. Dietsch in Cartoons, Daily Lists
Friday, November 16, 2012 at 9:01 am

General Ursus
Monkeys, apes, what's the difference? An evil primate is an evil primate and that's all that matters. From mischievous helpers to dictator-infused megalomaniacs the spectrum of bad opposable thumb-less creatures running around in comic books, movies, video games and animation is through the roof.

We hate these creatures all the more because they fly in the face of our inherent love of monkeys and apes. They just look so awesome running around, swinging from vines and flinging their own poop. Sure there's that whole thing where they lose their minds and rip faces off when they get a certain age, but we can get past that. However, we can not get past the behavior these evil primates displayed.

10. Donkey Kong
Sure, Donkey Kong became a good guy, but it's important to remember that he started his video game life as a princess-stealing, barrel throwing, plumber smashing villain. We can only assume that the time he spent as a captive in Donkey Kong Jr. helped turn his life around, leading him to become a hero, bongo champ and race car enthusiast.

9. Rhesus 2
What's worse, a megalomaniac or the sycophant who follows him blindly? In the case of Captain Simian and the Space Monkeys, we're inclined to say that Rhesus 2, Lord Nebula's right-hand, two-brained man. Something of a tragic villain, Rhesus 2 was an Earth monkey sent into space, captured by Nebula and given two brains to work with. Still, he could have joined the Space Monkeys at any time and fought back against evil instead of fighting our simian heroes and making terrible brain-related puns.

8. Kaiju Kong
There's no real good guy in Toho's King Kong vs. Godzilla. Both monsters are basically forces of nature who continually meet up and fight, sometimes thanks to human intervention, over and over again. This particular version of King Kong has a weakness for berry juice that gets him drunk, but also gets stronger with exposure to electricity -- as apes are known to do. This version of Kong returned in King Kong Escapes where he was more of a good guy, but still got to battle MechaniKong, a robot version of himself built to dig for Element X in the North Pole.

7. Nazi Capuchin
Hasn't Indiana Jones dealt with enough betrayal in his life? Does he really need a monkey sneaking her way into his life only to sell him out? This Capuchin insinuated herself into his and Marion's life only to lead them to his bosses, throw up the Nazi salute and even pointed out which basket Marion was hiding in. Of course, Indy didn't know all this, so when the monkey followed him back to a bar, he was none the wiser. The only thing keeping this little monster so high on the list is that his gluttony and greed lead to him eating some poisoned fruit and dying, which inadvertently saved Indy's life. "Bad dates" indeed.

6. Red Ghost's Super-Apes
Friggin' Commies. Ivan Kragoff, better known as the Red Ghost, wanted to win the space race for Russia and decided to copy the Fantastic Four's flight through Cosmic Rays to get there. In the process he turned his crew -- a gorilla named Mikhlo, a baboon named Igor and an orangutan known as Peotr -- into Super-Apes with their own powers. Kragoff can go intangible and invisible, Mikhlo is super-strong, Igor an shapeshift and Peotr controls primal forces like gravity and/or magnetism depending on who's writing. Instead of using these powers to bring equality to the proletariate, though, the Red Ghost decided to keep attack the FF, you know, just like Marx wrote about.

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