Want to feel like a Disney executive without the massive salary, Club 33 access, VIP parking and pretty much every other perk? Now you (sort of) can - plan the next Star Wars movie with this fun little desktop diversion of a game, The Star Wars Sequel Debacle Simulatron.
Mix and match writers, directors, stars, story elements and possible titles to see who winds up with the best review and box-office take. It's not something that will consume hours of your time, but as a momentary diversion while filling out those TPS reports, it may make you crack a smile when you imagine Miranda July directing a Jedi adventure that stars Michael Bay.
h/t SlyDante
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Writer: Warren Ellis
Director: David Cronenberg
Star: Tina Fey
25% each component
Title: "The Queen of the Ewoks"
Production Cost: $162,320,525
Opening: $98,029,113
Domestic: $376,187,300
Profit: $213,866,775
A-
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Writer: David Cronenberg
Director: Miranda July
Star: Phillip Seymour Hoffman
"Rating: A. Let's face it, if this film doesn't renew your faith in the Star Wars franchise, there is something deeply wrong with you. World-weary Jedi speak with resigned irony about the post-Empire galaxy, but still step up to defend it."
Profit: $229,829,699
That...that was my joke-simulation attempt.
I...I think I need to lay down for awhile...
Well after one attempt...no lying here
Wrath of the Ewoks
Neil Gaimen Writing, Ridley Scott directing, Nathan Fillion Starring
40-25-25-10
Profit: 169, 000, 000
B- Rating
Apparently Joss Whedon writing, James Cameron directing, and Fassbender starring leads to a loss of 120,000,000. Uhmm okay.
1 Like
The Wrath of the Clones with Espensen writeng Lucas directing, Fay staring
led to a Loss of 218,962,317!
Wow, I did it without cocaine! I guess people don't like action flicks anymore.
Return of the Twileks
Writer: Charlie Kaufman
Director: Michael Bay
Star: Will Smith
25 A 25 C 25 E 25 R
A- 216 million
1 Like
"Twilight of the Lost"
Writer & Director: James Cameron
Star: Fassbender
15% action
45% epic scifi
20% comedy and romance
B- profic 145M
For a second there I thought that was ANDY Kaufman as the writer. Man, that would be one weird freaking movie.
My best result was an A- with Kevin Smith, Matin Scorcese, and Harrison Ford. I can't say that it wouldn't at least be interesting to watch.
I tried it:
Writer: M Night Shaymalan
Director: Michael Bay
Star: Kevin Smith
7% Action 42% Epic SF 3% Comedy 47% Romance
Title: 'Queen Of The Womp Rats'
Result: F
Opening: $27,230,309
Domestic: $90,762,898
Production cost: $180,664,812
Profit: -$89.901,914
2 Like
I will challenge anyone right now! Or at least when i can get home to play this.
