The Pokemon Pick-up Lines You Probably Shouldn't Use

Wednesday, July 16, 2014 at 4:52 pm


With Comic-Con coming up, I thought this could serve as a useful reminder.

Rehearsed pick-up lines generally don't work too well anyway...but basing them on your mutual cosplay, though it might seem like a good idea for a milisecond, can lead to disaster - especially since the male nerd mind will often gravitate to bad sex puns without even thinking about it too hard.

Huh-huh. "Hard." See?

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Blu-ray Today: Explodey Heads, Unclothey Scarlett Johansson and Black Dynamite

Tuesday, July 15, 2014 at 8:00 am

Scanners (Criterion Collection) - Scanners is one of those movies that is doomed to disappoint many who see it, simply because all most casual viewers know about it is the exploding head scene (which, to be fair, is generally used to market the movie). Well, that happens, quite early on...and then never happens again. What's left is a more cerebral, less effects-heavy tale of battling telekenetics, in factions led by Cameron Vale and Michael Ironside.

While the Criterion Blu-ray features a new transfer and several new documentary featurettes, a significant part of the appeal here is the inclusion of director David Cronenberg's 1969 debut feature Stereo, in which volunteer lab subjects are encouraged to try to increase their psychic powers via sexual experimentation. Do you think the researchers are too hard on them?

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Weekend Hangover: From Doctor Who to Fart Odors, 18 Stories You Might Have Missed

Monday, July 14, 2014 at 6:00 am

Ian McKellen
Whatup, Holmes?

Ian McKellen as a 93 year-old Sherlock Holmes may see long life as a benidiction, but we have to wonder if he still wants to cum a batch. This was but one of the weekend thread stories you might have missed, compiled with the aid of Kyle LeClair, and now it's time for the rest. Tipsters this week include skrag2112, Gallen_Dugall, Citrus King, CobraCommander, NOT.DrAbraxas, brownkidd, Anyone00, scockery, DrAbraxas, SlyDante777, fury_cartoon, donnaryoko,andre_morelo

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I READ YOUR FANFIC! "Voltron's Hunk and Pidge Swap Genders" Part 1

Friday, July 11, 2014 at 8:00 am


If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

Title: "Voltron's Hunk and Pidge Swap Genders" by 363511

Logline: Hunk wants to have sex with his underage male friend, who turns out to actually be a girl on her first period. But he's afraid to get her pregnant, so he goes to see the witch Haggar, who will know what to do. And then Lotor interferes...

Acts Involved: Masturbation, menstruation, gender-swapping, imagined oral sex, pedophilia thoughts, rape threats.

Participants: Pidge, Hunk, Haggar, Lotor, Cossack

The live reading...

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The 20 Best Cosplays We Saw at Anime Expo 2014

Tuesday, July 8, 2014 at 6:00 am


By Saturday, Anime Expo had sold out Los Angeles Convention Center, bringing in about 85,000 people. The tightly packed quarters, long lines and July heat didn't deter cosplayers: they made it through the holiday weekend in armor, super high heels, body paint and oversized wigs. They stood for long stretches of time as attendees rushed towards them with camera flashes blazing. Honestly, I don't know how cosplayers hang in there for four days.

With so many people at AX, the cosplayers were a diverse lot. Many chose to represent recent anime series like Kill la Kill and Attack on Titan. Some of the old hits faded away this year, though; I can't remember seeing anyone wearing a Bleach costume and those used to be ubiquitous at anime events. Sailor Moon had a big resurgence, thanks in part to Sailor Moon Crystal, which premiered this weekend. Video games like League of Legends and Assassin's Creed were popular choices. Alternate versions of established characters from anime, U.S. comics and video games were popular too. Here's a rundown of the 20 coolest cosplays we saw at the convention this year.

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Michael Bay Officially Denies Rumors He's Doing Evangelion

Monday, July 7, 2014 at 1:33 pm


Breathe easily, otaku. Evangelion and Transformers are getting some crossover toy repaints in Japan, but the rumors that Michael Bay actually said "I don't know if you are familiar with 'Evangelion' but that's one movie that I want to direct," as reported on a Korean gossip site which cited a non-existent Transformers fan site, are not true, as confirmed by Bay's official social media:

Did you really believe he had even heard about Neon Genesis Evangelion before this, let alone thought of it as a passion project?

Anime Expo 2014: 7 Highlights, Lowlights, and a Tour of the Dealer's Room!

Monday, July 7, 2014 at 6:00 am


Once again, the Los Angeles Convention Center in the heart of downtown LA was turned into a cornucopia of mass Japanese Otaku nerdery, and much like last year, I was around to see and hear it all.
Rather than rehash last year's theme, I thought I'd share a little bit more of the specifics that make this particular different than your Comic-Cons and other general-interest conventions. Anime Expo has its own specific vibe; part trade-show for the Anime industry, part Japanese pop-culture convention, Anime Expo is a very much like a niche version of San Diego Comic-Con, except it's actually possible to attend it without either a) spending a million dollars a year in advance, or b) representing some million-dollar movie franchise.

So, let's begin! Here's a look at some of the best, worst and weirdest moments from Anime Expo 2014!

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7 Disturbing Things from Japan's Weirdly Pervy (but Canonical) Transformers Kiss Players

Thursday, June 26, 2014 at 6:00 am
She's got the touch! She's got the power!
Ever since the live-action Transformers movies came out, fans have criticized many things, including the story, the character designs, the characters in general, Shia LaBeouf being in them, and the over-sexualization of the female leads. Well, that last one could have been worse. Much worse.

You're probably wondering just how much worse. Well, it could have been like Kiss Players.

Kiss Players is a Japanese franchise in Takara Tomy's Transformers universe that came out in 2006. It's not exactly canon to the stateside continuities, but they use the same characters. The project was spearheaded by a man named Yuki Ohshima, who was also the illustrator and writer for the Kiss Players manga. It was also a radio play and a toy line that featured figurines bundled with Transformers from the Alternators series.

It gets very NSFW at times...

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Weekend Hangover: 12 Stories You Might have Missed, From Aquaman to Dracula

Monday, June 16, 2014 at 6:00 am


Compiled as always with the help of Kyle LeClair, this weekend's styories saw the casting of a new Aquaman, a Hello Kitty collection that repels tomcats, a Disneylike Doctor or 13 (above), and cricket chips.

Tipsters this week include: Gallen_Dugall, SlyDante777, Citrus_King, Dr.Gonzo82, troi, Anyone00, Timely Flower-Hermit, andre_morelo

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Blu-ray Today: Bushido Boredom, Anime Economics, Liam Neeson and the Cosmos

Tuesday, June 10, 2014 at 8:00 am

Bushido Man - A warrior returns to his master to recount the tale of seven fights he had with seven masters of different fighting styles, all of whom were in possession of valuable scrolls that unlock the secrets of their discipline.

Alas, this is not some lost martial-arts cult classic, but a movie that appears to have been made by martial artists who wanted to be on YouTube. The production value is terrible, the story one that would have been better served in seven non-narrative online shorts (in fact, it can be seen that way, so why even buy the disc?), and only the fight choreography gives the viewer anything to pay attention to. Our "hero" is even kind of a dick, challenging people who weren't giving him any trouble and stealing their prized possessions.

Towards the end, things get slightly more fun as realism goes out the window: wrist guns that fire when you punch are utilized, as are nun-chuks made from a severed arm and tendons. But it's too little, too late, and you find yourself wishing the film itself would commit seppuku and be done with.

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