The Video Game About People Who Pretend to Be Planes

By Luke Y. Thompson in Video Games
Wednesday, April 16, 2014 at 2:24 pm

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Used to be, as a kid, that one of the easiest, cheapest entertainments was to ruin around with arms outstretched, pretending to be an airplane. Of course, kids also used to play Mr. Potato Head with actual potatoes - businesses love to find a way to monetize our imaginations.

So now you have Cult of the Wind, a video game in which you run around with arms outstretched pretending to be a plane. I'm guessing the real reason Hayao Miyazaki retired is that he heard about this and plans never to leave the house again.

One caveat: it does have to be upvoted on Steam Greenlight first.

Extreme Jenga, With Excavators and 600-Pound Blocks

By Luke Y. Thompson in Music, Tech, Toys
Wednesday, April 16, 2014 at 12:30 pm

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Proof positive, if you needed it, that theoretically dorky games of balance can always be made bigger and manlier.

Also proof positive that "In the Hall of the Mountain King" needs to be retired as theme music. I know it's supposed to be shorthand for escalating tension, but whenever it comes on, all I hear is "Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb; Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow."

X-Men: Days of Future Past Tidbits: Cameos, Spider-Man Cross-Promotion

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, Movies
Wednesday, April 16, 2014 at 10:31 am

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Rogue - is she in, is she out? We heard early on that she had been completely cut, but then she kept showing up on magazine covers and in trailers. The latest, as reported by Vulture, is comforting both for rogue fans and folks like me who thought last night's trailer may have given away too damn much plot. It seems they couldn't cut her out completely, because she has one scene that's pivotal to the story. Also, three more mutants - which Vulture hints are characters/actors from previous films, though it doesn't specifically say that - have as-yet unannounced appearances, but it seems even revealing their names would be plot spoilers.

Meanwhile, Empire is reporting that even though press screenings of The Amazing Spider-Man 2 in the UK had no post-credits scene, one will be added...for X-Men: Days of Future Past, fueling unhealthy speculation of a cross-studio crossover that will most likely not happen.

So who do you think the mutant cameos will be, and why would even mentioning their names give away the plot? It's Doop, isn't it?

Better be Doop.

Bryan Cranston Helps Teen Fan Ask a Girl out by Fake Threatening Her

By Luke Y. Thompson in TV
Wednesday, April 16, 2014 at 10:00 am

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On the one hand, it's really cool that Bryan Cranston is willing to help his fans out by getting into character, being in their video and helping a nervous guy to ask a girl to prom.

On the other, if you're the girl, I'm not so sure being threatened by TV's most famous meth maker is necessarily awesome.

But she said yes. So either she liked it, or she completely believed the danger.

I READ YOUR FANFIC! "Harry Potter: Forbidden Love"

By Luke Y. Thompson in Books, Movies
Wednesday, April 16, 2014 at 8:00 am

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If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

Title: "Forbidden Love" by Darkmoon 2222

Logline: Ginny Weasley and Draco Malofy lie naked together, and then a bunch of other characters tell them off.

Acts Involved: Disappointingly, just the lying nude together and getting yelled at. No oral, vaginal or anal sex, nuthin'. But we have fun with it anyway.

Participants: Draco, Ginny, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Mad-Eye Moody, Minerva McGonagall.

The Live Reading...(Featuring Greg Jones Jr. and Francis the Cat, plus a really badly placed light)

The 10 Greatest Roles of Dick Miller

By Fred Topel in Daily Lists, Movies
Wednesday, April 16, 2014 at 6:00 am

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Dick Miller

You love Dick Miller movies. Maybe you don't know you love Dick Miller movies, but you definitely love Dick Miller movies. He's been in 174 movies and TV shows, but you may only know him as "that guy." Whenever he shows up in a pivotal scene, you go, "It's that guy!" That's why the name of his own movie is That Guy Dick Miller.

New X-Men Trailer Specifically Spells out the Plot, in Case You Missed It Before

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, Movies
Tuesday, April 15, 2014 at 8:45 pm

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If you already know what Days of Future Past is about - and reading this, it's a safe bet that you do - I gotta be honest: you might not want to watch this. This is a trailer for the average, casual, not-paying-attention moviegoer who's going "Who to the time travelly what now?" It gives you the specific plan that the main character has, some indication of how he executes it, and a slight sense of what degree of success he may experience.

Now...let's see how many of you can resist temptation.

Agents of SHIELD SPOILER Thread - Who You Gonna Call?

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, TV
Tuesday, April 15, 2014 at 5:00 pm

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When you're all alone!
Pick up the phone!
And you call?

PATTON OSWALT!

...apparently.

[Note: new episode starts at 9. Rerun of last week at 8. New Guardians of the Galaxy footage to be shown somewhere in all that.]

That Harsh Reminder That Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen Are Not Really a Perfect Cute Couple

By Luke Y. Thompson in Nerdery, TV
Tuesday, April 15, 2014 at 4:00 pm

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The fact that they do absolutely terribly in this faux Newlywed Game hosted by Buzzfeed is proof positive that they're not secretly married, and in fact are just like your straight guy friends whose favorite things you can't be bothered to remember.

This despite the fact that Patrick says "I saw his Widow Twankey!"

"Bears on Stairs," the Animated Short That Looks CG but Isn't

By Luke Y. Thompson in Cartoons
Tuesday, April 15, 2014 at 2:30 pm

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Not unlike the scene in Beetlejuice where Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis stretch their faces into monstrous shapes, this animation of a bear is achieved by the substitution of multiple models. Unlike them, it's been 3-D printed every time from the CG original (a technique used by Laika in movies like ParaNorman).

The result arguably complicates a process that would be much easier with manipulated pixels, but delivers a slightly more tactile quality to the obejects. Stare as long as you can bear it