This moisturizing mask that looks like Hello Kitty is undoubtedly supposed to be cute...and almost certainly designed by somebody who never saw a Texas Chainsaw Massacre movie in their lives. These don't make you look like an adorable kitty-cat - they make you look like you found a giant anthropomorphic cat (or not-cat, whatever), killed and ate it, maybe molesting the corpse first, and are now wearing its flayed face on top of your own as a trophy.
Am I wrong? Aside from morally, I mean?
MachinimaPrime's latest Super Power Beatdown is fun - unlike so many other fan films, they spent the big bucks for great costumes (the Batsuit is Arkham game-based, but has a Batfleck-like cowl), decent effects, voice-acting that sounds about right and a definitive ending that does not cop out.
And indeed, if characters like this actually fought, it would probably be over in five minutes. So it's, like, realistic. Except for the Death Star and space Batwing and, uhhh, the Force and stuff.
It's going to be subtitled "Greenfish" and depict how the water dinosaurs are in fact chronically depressed and don't live as long in captivity...
Not really. But one thing I bet this will have in common with the anti-Sea World documentary Blackfish is the performing sea creature killing its trainer.
Also, there's a mutant hybrid dinosaur on the loose, and Star Lord has to catch it. Pretty much every early rumored detail you may have heard is confirmed. Looks cool.
While many of the best horror movies feature threats that are metaphors for our real fears, The Babadook introduces its most scary concept long before the bogeyman of the title - a creature resembling a Tim Burton concept sketch for Freddy Krueger come to life - even shows up. It's certainly a fear that I, as a recently married man, have: what if one day you have a son, and he's an annoying asshole?
The makers of Day of the Mummy are obviously videogame fans, as this new film's style appears to be somewhere between found-footage and first-person shooter. Featuring Danny Glover, it is a somewhat expected tale of folks who go looking for treasure in a tomb, and find...more than that.
Day of the Mummy will be available on DVD and digital download Dec. 9th, but we have an exclusive clip that showcases its unique cinematography...
The Expendables 3 - It has apparently taken Sylvester Stallone three of these movies to realize that people old enough to want to see his wrinkly, roided-out arse shoot guns at baddies are not under the age of fucking thirteen, and would like an actual R-rated movie please, like the ones we remember most of these actors from. And by "R," we don't mean "shot for PG-13 with digitally added blood."
I did not see Expendables 3, but it seems the lure of Mel Gibson as the villain, and/or Harrison Ford as Bruce Willis, was not as strong as anybody had hoped (though our sometime contributor Fred Topel is quoted on the Blu-ray cover as saying this is the best Expendables yet, I should warn you that he has an occasionally irrational love of sequels). There is an "unrated" cut on the disc, but at a full five minutes longer then the PG-13 theatrical, it's not like you're getting anything too naughty.
WELCOME to the Topless Robot 2014 Holiday Gift Guide! All this week we've been showing you the best gifts you can buy for friends, neighbors, postmen, supers, nieces, nephews, loyal flatscans, good children, bad children, parents, teachers, coworkers, significant others and business partners. Today, we're looking at some awesome gifts for the comic-inclined in your life. We'll have gifts that are inexpensive but still great, that are good for buying in bulk for casual acquaintances. We'll have gifts that are so expensive only the truly frivolous would even think to ask for them. And we'll have everything in between.
To which my answer has always been that this is the kind of line you don't collect all of - you pick your favorite one and leave it at that. And if they ever did a Steve Austin, I'd probably go weak at the knees.
Well...knees weak. But wallet empty. Them's the breaks. Given that this is McFarlane, I'm a little disappointed WWE didn't bend the PG policy just enough to have Austin giving the finger or drinking a beer - you know Todd would totally have done it, but they likely said no.