New Hobbit-Themed Air New Zealand Safety Video Literally Shits on Sylvester McCoy

By Luke Y. Thompson in Books, Movies, Nerdery
Wednesday, October 22, 2014 at 2:00 pm

shit_mccoy.jpg

Airline safety videos already feel like an unwelcome extension of the flight preamble, after you've taken longer than necessary to wait for boarding, board the plain and then linger on the tarmac. So what better movie property to associate with them than The Hobbit, which knows a thing or two about unwelcome lengthenings?

This isn't the first such collaboration - that happened in 2012, and both Rob and I enjoyed it. But now? The stereotypical basement-dweller nerd who craves the One Ring? The bird droppings falling on poor Sylvester in real time? The weird and creepy way the Battle of the Five Armies turns into a group hug? The freakin' END CREDITS on a safety video, because it isn't long enough already?

Hmm, these really do follow my feelings about the Hobbit trilogy almost exactly.

Oh Dear...Johnny Depp's a Furry Now

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Wednesday, October 22, 2014 at 12:00 pm

depp_furry.jpg
Click to enlarge

Sigh...Another day, another really stupid costume for Johnny Depp, who finally ditched the clown-white facepaint for blue fur and dog ears as the Big Bad Wolf from the dark musical fairytale amalgam Into the Woods. Note to Depp: this is not better.

I admit I don't know Into the Woods well at all, but I totally get why you might dress that way in a stage musical (except for the part about it being blue). But in a movie full of CGI beanstalks and thorns and stuff...THIS is your wolf? Was he auditioning for Avatar 2 and just refused to take the costume off?

Why do I get the feeling that if Johnny Depp did Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas today, he'd insist Hunter Thompson needs actual bat wings, and nobody would tell him "no"?

Bad Geek Apparel of the Week: That Goddamn Owl From Candy Crush on a Miniskirt

By Luke Y. Thompson in Merchandise, Video Games
Wednesday, October 22, 2014 at 11:30 am

odusmini.jpg

I play Candy Crush, like, a LOT. When one's day job involves figuring out how to place words in front of one another to form some kind of coherent thought (results may vary), I appreciate a game that requires no thinking whatsoever, and can be played while intoxicated. For those of you who don't play, Odus the owl comes from a series of sub-levels called Dreamland, in which, every time you make a mistake, Odus falls off his moon-shaped perch and you lose.

I don't dislike this skirt because I'm holding a grudge against Odus. Rather, I am suggesting that a character whose defining feature is falling off of a moon might not be super-appropriate adorning one's rear end. As in, I can already practically hear some bozo yell "Hey baby, I'd like to see Odus fall down off your full moon, in my Dreamland!" [Yes, I'm aware his perch is a crescent moon, but anyone hypothetically dumb enough to pitch that pick-up line might forget] Or, perhaps worse, "I can keep Odus up all night, because I'm good at keeping things up that long."

But yeah, I also fucking dislike Odus. Little bastard has kept me stuck on the same level for months.

Mega Bloks to Make Despicable Me Minions Playsets

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies, Toys
Wednesday, October 22, 2014 at 10:00 am

megablokminions.jpg

The Minions from Despicable Me would seem eminently suitable for a cool, customizable construction toy line, but unfortunately we'll have to settle for Mega Bloks instead. Yes, the Minions will have some interchangeable features, including troll-style rooted hair on the Evil Minions, but the sets shown so far are painfully minimal and feature heavy use of pre-shaped parts.

Don't expect Gru and his girls yet, either...like the second film, the line seems to be ignoring them. There's a pattern here: Mega Bloks has Barbie, Hello Kitty and now Minions...dear God. Everything my wife likes is going to Mega Bloks. If this pattern follows, they'll grab the rights to Precious Moments and vintage Dark Shadows next.

NEW COMIC BOOK DAY: nananananananana BAT COW!

Wednesday, October 22, 2014 at 8:00 am

infinityman4.jpg
DC Comics

We're getting to the end of October, and that can only mean one thing for comics: pumpkin spice scratch n sniff Harley Quinn covers horror books. Lots of horror books. There are also spy books and fantasy books and sci-fi books (oh my!), but most of this week's comics are about monsters, murders and scaring the hell out of you.

The 14 Coolest Things from the My Little Pony: Equestria Girls - Rainbow Rocks DVD Commentary

By Sherilyn Connelly in Cartoons, DVDs, Movies, Music, TV, Video Games
Wednesday, October 22, 2014 at 6:00 am

SC_13_RainbowRocks.jpg

After brief and rather scattershot theatrical run in late September and early October, My Little Pony: Equestria Girls - Rainbow Rocks is being released in a DVD/Blu-ray combo from Shout! Factory, and for streaming on Amazon Instant and elsewhere. Taking place directly after the events of Friendship Is Magic's fourth season finale "Twilight's Kingdom" while also picking up the threads from the My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, it's terrific on its own, and even more importantly, the Shout! Factory discs have an entertaining and informative commentary track featuring key members of the production team. Here are some of the highlights of that commentary!

Spoilers abound, of course.


Agents of SHIELD SPOILER Thread - Age of Ultron Trailer Next Week Edition!

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, TV
Tuesday, October 21, 2014 at 10:07 pm

kylem_shield.jpg

Well, it beats "Russell Crowe's Foightin' Round the World." The Avengers 2 trailer will make its broadcast remember during next week's episode.

Sorry for the delay - caring for a sick wife has been a busy job too.

The Flash Live SPOILER Talkback - "Things You Can't Outrun"

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, TV
Tuesday, October 21, 2014 at 5:02 pm

flashcomictv.jpg

I bet you his hunger would have been satisfied if he'd taken a big delight in every bite of a HOSTESS Fruit Pie (TM).

Mixing Flash and Arrow last week didn't really work. Let's try solo.

Alex Ross Re-Creates the Cover of Original Marvel Star Wars Comic

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, Movies
Tuesday, October 21, 2014 at 4:00 pm

alexrosstarwars.jpg
Marvel.com

Okay, so he didn't make like the toys and do a green Darth Vader in tribute - but he Alex Ross'd the hell out of that original Marvel #1.

This is one of many variant covers for the debut of the new series, which transpires right after Episode IV. J. Scott Campbell, Joe Quesada and many more will be taking a crack at it, though I'm personally hoping for a Milo Manara variant that shows C-3PO crawling around doggy-style as Artoo prepares to probe him.

What, I'm the only one? Okay, carry on.

If Modern Horror Villains Invaded "The Monster Mash"...

By Luke Y. Thompson in Books, Movies, Music
Tuesday, October 21, 2014 at 2:30 pm

updatedmonstermash.jpg

The Universal monsters were able to plug into any number of more family friendly spin-offs back in the day - Abbott and Costello comedies, General Mills cereals, Rankin-Bass stop-motion specials - but could their modern counterparts do the same?

In this video from the Key of Awesome and Barely Political, a Karloff-like Frankenstein tries to sing the classic movie-inspired monster dance hit, but finds himself just a tad appalled at the way the new guys (and one girl) integrate themselves. The makeup effects may not be state of the art, but the impersonations are good and the rhymes are solid. It still doesn't reveal what happened to the Transylvania Twist.