Burger King Is Pitching McDonald's a "McWhopper"

By Luke Y. Thompson in Food & Drink
Wednesday, August 26, 2015 at 12:55 pm

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Given that Burger King is pretty consistently one of the most disappointing, bland and uninventive of the major fast food chains, I'm not hugely surprised they're the ones making the pitch to the larger competitor - which is equally uninventive and bland in many respects, but has better name recognition. The idea is that for "Peace Day" (9-21), the two companies make a pop-up store halfway between their corporate headquarters, and serve this monstrous mash-up burger free to people who use a particular hashtag. I'm not sure why Yum Brands don't already do something like this - who wouldn't go for a Long John Silver's/Taco Bell fish Quesarito, or Kentucky Fried Pizza? Not this guy!

I don't see Mickey D's going for it, but if they do, I want the burgers to be served by a terrifying hybrid of Ronald McDonald and the masked King - sort of a "Composite Superman" of cellulite. Even if the burger doesn't work, the horror movie rights will sell swiftly.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High and Young Frankenstein Get Vinyl Figures

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies, Toys
Wednesday, August 26, 2015 at 11:00 am

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One of the best quirks of the toy industry is that cartoon caricatures, if stylized enough, aren't considered "likenesses," and thus we can get toys based on people like Sean Penn who probably wouldn't give permission to some big capitalist corporation to waste plastic by mass-producing his visage. That's how I imagine him saying it, anyway.

I mean, it's also pretty much a crime that we have more action figures of Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka than we do of Gene Wilder, but again, thanks to Vinyl Idolz, you'll be getting Doctor "Fronkensteen" as well as two other key characters.

Next up, I suggest Vinyl Idolz make non-likeness likenesses of Jack Nicholson and Peter Weller - two actors who notoriously charge such high fees that only Hot Toys has been willing to pay them thus far. This style would be PERFECT for Buckaroo Banzai.

That Sci-Fi Porn We Visited the Set of Two Years Ago Has a Trailer, and It's NUTS

By Luke Y. Thompson in Blu-ray, Movies
Wednesday, August 26, 2015 at 10:00 am

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For reasons that are possibly quite obvious, one of the most popular stories I've ever written was 2013's "On the Set of a Sci-Fi Porno." The movie in question, Saving Humanity, was already setting itself up to be more ambitious than most of its kind, with a script long enough that it could tell a story even with the hardcore sex bits trimmed, and a ton of digital effects planned.

It took a lot longer to finish that footage than I imagined, but it certainly is wild even aside from all the blurred nudity. CG sabretooth cats, sci-fi laser battles, martial-arts fights and a green-screen musical number are involved somehow, along with a glowing space pyramid that the characters all refer to as a "monolith" (which by definition would have to be considerably bigger).

It's probably not interesting to anybody else, but I do find it notable that producer Kim Nielsen is now listed as director, when Harry Sparks was the one with that role on-set. Intrigue! Maybe that's why it's as crazy-looking as it is.

The Farce Awakens, as the First Comedy Trailer to Pretend to Be Star Wars This Year Is...

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Wednesday, August 26, 2015 at 8:57 am

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Back in 1999, Austin Powers 2 got a lot of mileage by faking out audiences with a trailer acknowledging that if you only saw one movie that year, it should be Star Wars - but if you saw two, then it should be the second. (That it turned out to be cinematic "number two" was kind of ironic, in the end.)

This year's edition doesn't push quite so hard for must-see status, but does feature an actor more gifted than Mike Myers...

Comicave's New 6-Inch Diecast Iron Man Action Figure Calls Shotgun

By Luke Y. Thompson in Comics, Movies, Toys
Wednesday, August 26, 2015 at 8:00 am

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I'm frequently amazed that collectors exist who will pay top dollar to own every single Iron Man suit ever in toy form, but they do, and the figures keep coming. This particular variant is

the Mark 40 variant, also known by its moniker, "Shotgun," is a hyper-velocity traveling suit and was one a new generation of Iron Man armored suits created by Tony Stark for the Iron Legion. The suit received its nickname, "Shotgun," for the explosive sonic boom it creates when breaking the sound barrier in flight.
This fully articulated figure is 75% metal (sort of like Metallica post-Load), features LEDs in the head and chest, and being the first of many Singapore imports by Bluefin from Comicave Studios, will run you around $140.

As a bonus, if you get bored of it someday you can melt it down to make cutlery. But please only do that if you actually know how.

New Comic Book Day: Big Moves at Casa Dandy

By Jim Dandeneau in Columns, Comics
Wednesday, August 26, 2015 at 6:30 am

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Oni Press
Big news from Casa Dandy: over the next week, I'm turning 30+ and moving 350 miles. SO! I'm already drunk. Also! I'm moving to a Comcast area, so who the hell knows if I'll ever get Internet again. In the unlikely event that I get Comcasted really hard, I've got a treat loaded up for next week: I sat down with Steve Orlando, the awesome writer of the awesome Midnighter, and talked to him about Virgil, his new queersploitation comic from Image. You'll get to see that interview next week, and then even if I have to hike into town for Internet service, I'll be back with your regularly scheduled reviews the following week.

But first, we got comics this week! Demented imports from Spain; twisted satire; cool cyberpunk; fun spy comics; and ooh a Thundercats/Barbarella crossover? Shit! It's not that. Stupid typoglycemia. First up, though, we get a glimpse behind the local news camera.

10 Fictional Heroes Who Really Suck at Their Jobs

By Matthew Catania in Comics, Daily Lists, Movies, TV
Wednesday, August 26, 2015 at 5:00 am

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On the surface, heroes are who we should aspire to be. When you examine specific ones closely, however, you'll notice many are ill-suited for their duties. Are these flaws designed to humanize them, or do writers just not realize how terrible these modern day role models are? Just because they have a loftier than average vocation doesn't mean they're not incompetent. If your favorite hero has been around long enough, they're bound to have off-days (not to mention days when they're mind controlled into turning evil), so let's try to focus on the ones that have chronically underperformed, have the wrong attitude for their profession, or massively screwed up. So yeah, there will be SPOILERS.

(This excludes characters that are intentionally satirical like Sterling Archer and the Tick. I'll also avoid characters who failed into obscurity; you lucked out this time, Sir Denis Nayland Smith! Or should I say the destitute racist's Sherlock Holmes?) So if you've ever gotten a lousy performance review at work, take comfort in knowing that your career could still be the basis for a popular hero one day!

King Kong vs. NWA: Compton's Eazy-E and Dr. Dre Head to Skull Island

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies, Music
Tuesday, August 25, 2015 at 5:02 pm

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I can only assume they will intimidate the big ape with their streetwise lyrics and gangster swagger. Two out of Straight Outta Compton's three leads, Corey Hawkins and Jason Mitchell will be going from Compton to Skull Island.

Variety describes Mitchell's character as "an easy going pilot." I think they mean an EAZY DUZ IT pilot, but regardless, that would most likely mean Skull Island is set in a more modern time period than Peter Jackson's 1933-set version, when air travel meant biplanes and the Air Force wasn't integrated.

It'll never happen, but I would freak out so hard if they did a rap track called "Fuck the Gorilla" for the soundtrack.

Ash vs. Evil Dead Behind-the-Scenes Video Reveals New Tidbits

By Luke Y. Thompson in TV, Zombies
Tuesday, August 25, 2015 at 1:34 pm

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A wooden hand, a pet lizard, a possible glimpse of S-Mart, floods of gore and goop...and where exactly HAS that Book of the Dead been all this time?

Please, show, don't suck.

Despite Its Cast, Kids vs. Monsters Is Probably Not That Monster Squad Reboot You'd Hope for

By Luke Y. Thompson in Movies
Tuesday, August 25, 2015 at 12:55 pm

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Lance Henriksen! Malcolm McDowell! Adrian Paul! Richard Moll!

...will do anything for money, apparently.

You see a Cthulhu on a poster, and you get your hopes up. Then you see that one of the other monsters has a beetroot for a head.

Or am I being overly judgmental today?

Kids vs. Monsters debuts on-demand Sept. 29th. The trailer is below...