An overhead tracking shot of a jungle, as Alec Guinness in voiceover delivers his speech about Jedi guarding the peace for a thousand generations.
"Before the dark times"
A solitary TIE screeches into view and up towards the sky.
"Before the Empire."
Like a giant moon, the upper hemisphere of the Death Star appears on the horizon.
Fade to black. Barely audible, anxious radio chatter as the logo crackles and comes into view in gold. "ROGUE ONE."
That was our first teaser, made before any of the actual film has been shot, by ILM. And it looked good.
If you've never seen an episode of Rebels...if you've never thought the Star Wars cartoons could be for you, even though you liked the movies...if you had no faith anything on Disney XD could give you a massive nerd boner, well, then I find your lack of faith...you-know-what.
Season 2's first episode is called "The Siege of Lothal," because on a Disney network, you can't call it "Darth Vader Shows up to Fuckin' Kick the Shit out of Everybody." But that would be truth in advertising.
I'm still doing battle with Twitter versus the Wi-Fi - so for now I'll leave you with this pretty picture. Better ones are coming if I can get the social medias to work right.
In the current Masters of the Universe line, one of the ways used to maximize tooling budgets has been to release two-packs of "army builders," allowing for some unique sculpt pieces to be used for two figures rather than one, and letting collectors build up larger infantries if they wished. Thus far, all of the faction leaders from the vintage Masters line have had such a pack - He-Man got Eternian Palace Guards, King Hiss got Snake Warriors, Hordak got Horde Troopers...and Skeletor, until now, had nothing. But with every available slot in the regular monthly subscription already filled, the only way to get to his army was with a traveling convention exclusive, which will be available at Comic-Con and other shows, and was briefly made available to subscribers this week. Was it worth it?
Basic Lego not minimalist enough? This "purchase of the droids" set reduces Luke, Artoo and Threepio to the barest minimum of color suggestions, with super-mini-Landspeeder and, for some odd reason, a normal minifig-scaled C-3PO. For the element of surprise, I guess, they didn't reveal this until the very last minute. Like Hasbro should have done...with anything (seriously, no figure exclusive from the primary maker of same?)
It's going for $40, despite the fact that Lego's own Facebook page calculates its value at $5.99. Now you know what the Lego markup really is.
Sharknado 1-3 director Anthony C. Ferrante will write this comic, in which Riverdale becomes the next city in the path of nature's most exploitative fanged phenomenon. It's set to hit comic stores the same day Sharknado 3 airs on Syfy - July 22nd.
Have we reached the point yet where these Archie crossovers seem like bad jokes rather than creative steps forward? I feel like Archie's Game of Thrones is next, and am slightly afraid.
And you thought flames on Optimus were a radical redesign. If I didn't know better, I'd say this was part of a very clever ploy by Takara to convince Michael Bay that Transformers have girl cooties and he might catch teh gay if he keeps being associated with them.
Unfortunately the toy's only two inches long, so somebody as nearsighted as Bay won't even see it. But on the plus side, you can actually afford it, since it's a mere twelve bucks.
And hey, in their truest forms, both Kitty and Prime have no mouths.
Well, this is one way to get over your fear of singing in public. The latest WTF-ery from the land of the rising fun features a game of the rising wiener - can you sing the song on key while being jerked off by an attractive assistant?
On the other hand, if you're afraid of both karaoke and being masturbated by a stranger on TV, I don't know what to tell you. Except that right now, Bob Barker is wishing he'd moved to Japan.
Look, let's face it, if I run a big feature this morning about something other than Star Wars, is anyone gonna read it?
I'm thinking not. At the same time, I'm also thinking the average casual reader doesn't have the time to do the kind of Internet legwork to assemble everything we learned yesterday about The Force Awakens, not just from the trailer, but from the Celebration itself, which revealed a bit more in panels and displays. So I've compiled this list as a summary of everything I saw and heard that went down, and how it all fits together. There are no spoilers beyond what was either in the trailer or said/displayed at the show - but there is some speculation as to how all the tidbits combine.