"Mr. Forthright" is a deceptive name for this fellow - many of the lies he suggests telling your kids to cover up the bigger lie of Santa Claus are anything BUT forthright. Which calls his credibility so much into question that maybe there is a Santa Claus after all. Because who are you gonna trust - a supernatural dude who sneaks into your house every year and watches everything you do, or this old bastard?More >>
Unlike the deluge of Star Trek fanzines in the 1960s and 1970s, which we looked at last time, there don't seem to be quite as many Star Wars fanzines. There are still plenty, but not quite as much of a slew as there had been for Trek. Part of this, I suspect, is because the largely adult / female fan base for Trek was a bit more industrious than the teenage / male base for Wars. I'm aware that I'm speaking in generalizations, and of course the fandoms span generations and genders, and I don't want to ruffle any male feathers, but the earliest Trek fans and zinesters were women, plus the majority of the 'zines we'll look at below were edited by women - a fact that was not lost on some of the male readers at the time. The merchandise-and-marketing train was also already barreling forward by the time the movie came out, so there just wasn't as much of a niche for 'zines to fill, and Lucasfilm's open disapproval didn't help. But they were made all the same, so let's enjoy some of the best art from 'em!
Ever since William Shatner scream-paused his way through a dramatic cover of "Mr. Tambourine Man," it has been a Star Trek tradition to badly attempt what amounts to very expensive karaoke - or, if you're Leonard Nimoy, even compose your own ill-advised fan-tribute to nerdy fiction that you then try to melodically croak through.
Of course, no matter how "bad" the result is, it still ends up being amazing. So let us all welcome into the fold the latest Trek-based actor to give it a go - and one with a Bilbo Baggins connection, to boot. Here's Benedict Cumberbatch speak-singing the latest R. Kelly tune, because we needed that. Whether we knew it or not.
Ladies, fear not: while he does a believable job of reciting the song "Genius," I don't know that he could ever honestly make you believe he's "Trapped in the Closet."More >>
As always, if you have a piece of Fan Fiction you'd like to have read aloud, send it to toplessrobot-at-gmail with subject line "Read My Fanfic."
This was sufficiently long that I divided it into two parts, but I don't think you'll feel...unsupplied by either.
The Fanfic: "The Grand Finale" by King Splooge.
The Participants: Sonic the Hedgehog, Knuckles, Tails, Shadow, Amy and Dr. Robotnik.
Described Herein (Part 1 Only): Sexual machinery, masturbation, near pants-soiling, marijuana, theft, face-shooting, profanity, blood-coughing, beatdowns, limb-from-limb rending, exploding guts, homophobic slurs...(cont.)More >>
Somewhere in its show-tuney middle, Disney's animated musical Frozen throws a bone to the young monster geeks in the audience. Elsa, the magically (and literally) frigid young Queen who can freeze fjords and cause climate change and sculpt ice palaces out of the brisk air with a few waves of her hand, conjures up a personal bodyguard: "Marshmallow," a formidable giant made of snow and ice.
He's cool, no pun intended, but only the latest in a long list of terrifying pop-culture monsters confined either to wintry seasons or chilly climes, or both. Some are just grotesque version of arctic or Antarctic fauna, or aliens comfortable at equivalent temperatures on their own planets. A few are actual snowmen, monstrous supernatural versions of Frosty, as in the low-rent 1997 horror favorite Jack Frost or the even creepier wholesome "family" film of the same title that came out a year later. You may recall that even the slow-witted "Abominable Snowman" that affectionately plagued Bugs Bunny melted when he got below timberline.
But most of what falls into the category of "Abominable Snowmen," sometimes known by their Himalayan name of Yeti, are shaggy, burly giants that haunt the cold places, and are generally quite content to be left the hell alone. They're rarely a danger to humans so long as we're sensible enough to stay where it's warm.
Here are 13 of pop culture's most memorable hyperborean horrors:More >>
It's a holiday tradition in our household to watch the North American Air Defense "tracking" of Santa Claus online every Christmas Eve. We never knew he needed these kinds of helpers - jets laden with missiles to help fly the unfriendlier skies, new for 2013 and giving new meaning to the idea of a War on Christmas.
"We wanted to let folks know that, hey, this is a NORAD video, and we're the military and this is our mission," said the spokesman, Navy Captain Jeff Davis.
Not to disparage our military's capability, but do they know where every single child in the world is, and precisely how good or bad or potentially Santa-murdering they've been this year? (Of course not. That's the NSA's job [/sarcasm].) Santa's got this, but if our tiny CGI Air Force pilots want a fun assignment, why not? It shouldn't be us protecting Santa, though - Santa should be the one protecting us...because I trust his list a good deal more than I trust the No-Fly one. He actually checks things twice.More >>
Golf is often stereotyped as a pastime of the rich - and who's richer than Bruce Wayne? Tumble over the links like a deranged millionaire playboy in this Nolanverse-styled Batmobile cart - having to actually play the game of golf is a small price to pay for being able to scare any superstitious, cowardly lots on the green.
What isn't a small price, however, is the tab for the cart itself, currently commanding an eBay "buy it now" charge of $17,500, and Rao knows how much on top of that for shipping. You don't have much time to raise the funds if you want it - three days are remaining on the auction. Sniper bidders may even come to the fore at the last minute...but that's just par for the course, isn't it?
h/t 10glfan59 via NerdApproved
YouTube's "Numberphile," Brady Haran, has it all figured out - if you play a perfect game with no mistakes, going first and dropping your token in the center spot assures victory every time. It's a mathematical certainty. He also runs the numbers of many other scenarios.
Maybe that's why the hideously ugly new version pictured above now has multiple methods of play?
Continue for the video proof...More >>