By Mo Fathelbab
Ever meet a person who somehow fit their name, like a beach bunny named Sandy or an emcee named Mike? Cool, isn’t it? Well, here is a run down of notable guys named Dick who turned out to be the personification of their given name. Once hidden in the mists of time, we invite them to stand tall, proud...erect…knowing that their name has thrust them into the tight, wet hall of history.
10) Dick Butkus
This Dick sullied his hallowed NFL career by taking the job of Director of Competition for the ill-fated XFL (what the hell is a Director of Competition anyway?). Thank goodness it only lasted one season, but this Dick’s work was enough to leave a bad taste in every football fan’s mouth.
9) Dick Van Dyke
This beloved TV Land fixture is on this list for his god-awful Cockney accent in Mary Poppins. It takes a real Dick to speak with a shitty Australian accent and pretend it’s British to Julie Andrews’ face. Plus, his name is one of the few times “dick” and “dyke” ever appear in the same sentence. Neat!
8) Dick Sargent
He took over the Darren role in Bewitched in 1969 (from another Dick – Dick York) and confused a hell of a lot of people. Plus, he could of used his real name instead of his stage name – Dick Cox. That puts him in an elite Dick league.
7) Dick Pole
In this former major league pitcher’s lackluster career, he had 25 wins and 37 losses, with a 5.05 ERA. And now, he’s the pitching coach for the pretty terrible Cincinnati Reds, which means he gets paid to tell current pitchers what to do. Since he’s not giving the money back anytime soon, this guy is a true Dick.
6) Bill O’Reilly
Okay, he’s not officially named Dick. But you know why he’s on the list.