So winning a contest called "Script Pimp" with an unproduced screenplay called "Shrapnel" (that some kinda sequel to "Sliver" or something?) gets you a chance to fu...I mean rewrite an awesome script? Why haven't we heard about this magical contest before?

My god! not another childhood hero anally raped by hollywood.

So it's settled. Talent and experience are worth exactly nothing in Hollywood. Thought so.

As long as they get the guy in the picture to play He-Man, I'm in!

This sounds like a terrible Wizards ripoff, which isn't exactly the greatest movie in the first place (at least in my opinion)

@magical shrimp
couldn't agree with you more. I've never been a big He-Man fan but this is just tragically fucked up. Longstanding franchises are no place for an internship.

Sounds kinda like flash gordan. oooya, fuck you hollywood.

"Warners sees the big-screen version as a gritty fantasy and reimagines Adam as a soldier who sets off to find his destiny, happening upon the magical world of Eternia. There, Skeletor has raised a technological army and is bent on eradicating magic."

So they are crossing Planet of the Apes with Samurai Jack with none of the awesomeness of either....

This sounds like it's gonna be awesome...no wait, what I meant to say was GODAMN MUTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUCKBALLS I WILL FUCK YOUR FUCKING FACES OFF GAH ARAR KILL RGHHHD2 R2TCC#@R#$ ^#^&#& %&$^*$*$*$^***(^

Warner bros Exec 1; You know this He-man script has given good responses with the fans.

Warner bros Exec 2; Yes, wich means something's wrong with it; where's the mass-appeal?

Warner bros Exec 1; I know what you're saying. We should totally get some over-the-top, talentless, random dude who doesn't know his ass from his fist and who hans't got any experience of writing a multi-million dollar movie script to rewrite the entire script so that we can alienate both fans and casual movie-goers alike!

Warner bros Exec 2; That's a great idea, it truly is! We'll exclusively cater to the group of people who's too dumb to care about what they're watching, wich I believe makes up 98% of everyone who watches movies.
That will make us a shit load of money and make everybody except the people who actually care happy!

Warner bros Exec 1; Get me that douchebag Evan Daugherty!

Warner bros Exec 2; Score!

Look it will be OK, I mean I am sure there will be a p0rn version that is 10x better.

Also Battle Cat will be voiced by Chris Rock while Cringer will be Dane Cook.

I think they may cast Gilbert Godfree as Skeletor

So he's adapting "Farscape" to MOTU?

Skeletor uses Robots and hates magic? Can you say Wizards?

So will this film star Thomas Jane, only to be rebooted a few years later with an R rating and star Ray Stevenson?

when are they gonna fucking learn that if something was popular for a reason, DONT FUCKING CHANGE THE REASON!!!

Wow i could seriously go on all day about this but i think i already said the only thing that needed to be said.

At least Wizards had big boobies...

my guess is there will be no big boobies to distract us from this crapfest.

If this really happens, I may commit a terrorist attack upon WB and anyone associated with this travesty

Wow...common sense jumped out the window, got hit by a garbage truck and beaten to death by kindergartners with play shovels.

Rob,
Deep breaths. Breathe in. Breathe in. You don't want to have a stroke before the Lost finale.

That said, the old Masters of the Universe flick is seeming better by the second.

OH MY! The picture of ....uh....HE-MAN (?) seem suddenly a zillion times better than the "movie" is going to be. :o

But Rob my good man, we all know this thing is going down the drain somehow. I believe we will see a decent Masters of the Universe movie before the end of days. Let's just hope the end of days isn't december 2012 like some predict. If so, we're fucked in so many ways!!!!!

At least now I can read the Justin Marks script, since it won't be spoiling anything.

The Marks script sucked, anyway. And this one sounds like it will suck. I predict neither gets shot.

Look. When I was 4, I dressed up in a homemade costume as He-Man for Halloween. I am female. Who wants to bet that my parents could have made a video of my sugared-up 4-year old self running around the yard in my homemade He-Man costume with a plastic sword and it would be better than this movie sounds.

If there is anything remotely close to a God in this universe he (it?) will have mercy on all loyal MOTU fans everywhere and not let this happen... Chances are there is no god and this movie will get made and tank hard... harder than Teela's nipples in a cast iron bra.

File this under "Terrible adaptations that were written specifically to draw a new audience." Right alongside Dragonball, G.I. Joe, and that new Street Fighter movie which randomly features Chun-Li.

*disappointed grunt*

If there is anything remotely close to a God in this universe he (it?) will have mercy on all loyal MOTU fans everywhere and not let this happen... Chances are there is no god and this movie will get made and tank hard... harder than Teela's nipples in a cast iron bra.

File this under "Terrible adaptations that were written specifically to draw a new audience." Right alongside Dragonball, G.I. Joe, and that new Street Fighter movie which randomly features Chun-Li.

*disappointed grunt*

By the power of FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!

If they do work off of Grayskull from Marks, it won't be half as bad as we think. Don't get me wrong, it is a disaster waiting to happen. However, if Daugherty has been hired to 're-write' Grayskull, AT LEAST it's foundation at this point is a fucking winner.

I will not get my hopes up but it's got potential. I just wish Hollywood would stop raping my childhood. Everything needs to stop sucking at some point, right?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO......!!!!!!

[i]when are they gonna fucking learn that if something was popular for a reason, DONT FUCKING CHANGE THE REASON!!![/i]

Quoted for truth.

Hollywood just makes everything better, doesn't it?

I'm thanking the heavens for the movie versions of Star Trek, Watchmen and the new Batman, because just about everything else is a big flaming hunk of monkey dung. I'm not sure why movie studios assume that the formulas that gave so many properties the longevity they've had need to be greatly revamped and changed.

"Warner bros Exec 2; That's a great idea, it truly is! We'll exclusively cater to the group of people who's too dumb to care about what they're watching, wich I believe makes up 98% of everyone who watches movies.
That will make us a shit load of money and make everybody except the people who actually care happy!"

Sadly, this is how it often works out. The money pours in and their methods are validated.

Hokay, thats it. Ima go write a shitty screenplay. Maybe I can get hired to write a new Ducktales movie...

I believe our buddy rob summed it up in the last few lines of the article. One thing we need to understand is that hollywood isn't the one that needs to learn. Sadly it is us nerds. The ones who forked out all the money for toys and cereal and all the other products that made the franchise what it is. Now what is the lesson you might ask? Hollywood doesn't care about what we think, they don't want to know what we think and most of them have prolly never seen or loved the original property as much as we do or have. All they want from us is to fill the seats in theaters.

Let's remember Justin Marks wrote "Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li," a script that Latino Review also praised. He was going to have Skeletor wear a chrome skull mask.

This new script may suck, but I have no faith Marks' version would have been any better.

Movie idea number four hundred thirty-nine:

Adam Sandler is He-Man and he falls in love with Drew Barrymore who is Skeletor and their baby is like a magic dog or something

Studio Exec: Oh great Awesome-O! We'll call it He-Man Bedtime Stories! Brilliant!

I've got theory about these franchises. If your property comes out before the advent of the internet, it needs time to gentrify until people are old enough to take it seriously, like about 40-50 years or so. Spider-man and X-men came out at just the right time when enough people had heard of them that they could recruit the right people to write and direct. All of the 80's toys, Anime series, and video games are just too green for any execs to take seriously. They still think they're just for kids. The same thing happened to the Superman movies in their day. If your franchise post-dates the internet, like Harry Potter, you're okay. You've got a built-in contingent of activist geeks ready to get the word out so that more people would know what a "Grayskull" is.

" Anon said:
By the power of FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!"

That is some phunnie sheit!

It will be poo - I'm so not looking forward to how badly they are going to fuck up Voltron.

Although for some dumbass reason I am holding onto hope about Toby Macguire (?SP) and his live action Robotech... If he screws that up I may have to hunt him down and get all Bauer on his ass.

LYT beat me to it, I think the one to blame here isn't WB, but Marks himself. After all, Chun Li didn't exactly light any fires, now did it? WB probably saw that and said "we want ours to do better than that," regardless of whether or not the material was accurate.

More than anything, they likely want results. And more than likely, Chun Li showed them that this guy's scripts couldn't get the results they desired. Sure, the movie did well in some parts of Asia or something, but I hear Street Fighter is pretty popular over there as well. I can't say that about He-man, unfortunately (feel free to correct me; I simply haven't heard anything about them going nuts for MOTU).

I would think that more than anything, for something like He-man, WB would want the home audience's money, since theirs is likely the safest bet here.

So the studio decides that doing a He-Man movie "right" (whatever that means) isn't what's gonna sell tickets, so here's how it goes down:

1) Warners fires their writer, who might have some love of the source material. That might create a conflict between studio and said writer when and if Warners decides to seriously deviate from the source material to create a (supposedly) more commercially viable film.

2) Warners decides to seriously deviate from the source material. (You can switch 2 with 1 here, it really doesn't matter)

3) A new writer is hired, but it's someone with no experience at all who will just be happy to be on board a major studio's potential franchise picture. This new writer is a complete blank slate career-wise, with no attachment or fondness to any source material, and is basically there to write down whatever Warners deems fit.

4) Warners, under the misguided idea that since THE DARK KNIGHT was a massive success, all anyone wants to see is a dark, grim, and gritty movie (see their ideas about a Superman reboot elsewhere) decides that this formula will be applied to MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE. (Forget that the success of STAR TREK, a movie that is bright and fun and optimistic, was also successful this Summer)

5) Attach a hot young name to star, a slumming yet notable actor as villain ("Chris Pine IS He-Man. Ben Kingsley IS Skeletor"), get a director who is equally as mallable and nondescript as your writer ("A BRETT RATNER FILM"), pick a Summer release date ("COMING THIS MEMORIAL DAY, 2012"), and then look like a genius when the nostalgia attached to your movie's title gives you a big opening weekend.

Meh, could have proofread more, but you get what I was getting at. Hopefully.

this just proves that Mattel needs to work over time and get the rights freed from WB as fast as they can or just do what fox did with watchman and make sure the thing never sees the light of day . that and proves why WB should just stick to try and do dc characters as films

I gotta start entering scriptwriting contests. Maybe by the time I win one, I'll get to write a Thundercats reboot.

I have no idea how good a writer this guy is, but just in general someone should see that a He-Man movie is a bad idea, if only on wardrobe alone.

That pretty much sums it up, Brian. Sadly.

Wow, a lot of hate directed at some poor sap who won a contest, got his script read, and got his break. Yeah, screw that guy. Go back to mom's basement. And while we're at it, send that hack Quentin Tarantino back to the video store. Who gave that clerk the balls to think he could write a Hollywood movie? And speaking of clerks, how about that ass Kevin Smith. Who does he think he is, writing a script and making his movie without being anointed by the Hollywood gods?

Meanwhile, hiring "proven" talent gets you stuff like Dragonball: Evolution (that guy had TWO writing credits beforehand!) and Legend of Chun Li (written by, hey, Justin Marks?). But if Latino Review signed off on the He-Man script, then fire up the cameras and let's go. I mean, if there's anybody out there who knows what makes a great movie, it's... wait, who the hell is Latino Review? Oh wait, you mean some dudes on the internet who've never had anything to do with making a successful movie ever?

Sheesh... Maybe you should stick to blogging about toys, man.

WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT PICTURE OF ME?! how embarrassing...

WHERE DID YOU FIND THAT PICTURE OF ME?! How embarrassing...

Hollywood's Things To Fuck Up List

[X] Transformers
[X] Gijoe
[X] He-Man
[ ] FFF The Movie (coming soon)

Poor Evan Daugherty. Hasn't written a word and already everyone thinks he's an asshole.

What a douche-bag.

Making a good He-man movie doesn't even seem possible? Hollywood fucks up good franchises that have extremely popular characters with easy to adapt stories left and right. A good He man movie is so not happening. I still can't believe a He-man movie is being made period haha.

nice pic.

if i were writing it i'm not sure how it'd best be done. the cartoon was light camp, but all the same it was a cartoon. a literal translation, like zack snyder's efforts with the Watchmen, would probably prove awkward: a muscley guy in a furry bikini running around with a sword but not spilling any blood?

granted, i can't imagine a guy who has a skeleton for a face living without magic, but i'm not jumping the gun on the new guy because he's new or getting out of sorts because i didn't think of it, or because it's never been played out, or because it sounds strange.

i would be interested to know more about these screenwriting contests, tho; maybe throw in with them, see what happens...

peace, rob.

@AWESOME-O - I fucking love that episode.

This pisses me off so badly, I cannot see or think straight.

Fuck Hollywood. FUCK THOSE FUCKING FUCKS.

He-man, Transformers, and Gi Joe were always my favorites as a kid. They fucked up Transformers. They will soon fuck up Gi Joe. Now they just officially hit the trifecta and fucking my favorite childhood properties.

I saw that script review on Latino Review. It sounded incredible. Now we are going to get this bastardized piece of shit.

The Terrorists have truly won.

Hollywood, I hope you got some satisfaction out of your rape, you bastards.

Dumbfuck writer is getting Skeletor confused with Hordak. How fucking hard is it to realize that IF you give people what they want, you will be successful. People don't want some no-name schmuck raping their childhood.

Ok fellow fanboys let's all calm down. As a filmmaker I have to say that you guys are being very unfair. To the screenwriter. Who isn't Justin Marks, who is the real douche. Because I suffered through Street Fighter and every single line, plot point, narrative decision (trite voice over anyone)was so cliche or warmed over crap that I have to say that like a comment earlier up, I have no faith Marks really wrote a great script. And if he did send your hate mail to HIM, because I or any sane producer would never produce anything with his toxic name attached. I mean how many of the people who are complaining about the new writer (and Script PIMP is actually a very good website if you are writing and can't schmooze in LA) either watched Street Fighter or read this vaunted He-Man script of his? The likelihood that many of the people commenting did either is unlikely considering Street Fighter's microscopic box office and the fact that people aren't that big into reading unproduced screenplays. The likelihood that people did both and are in a position to truly comment on if abandoning Marks' script was a good idea is smaller than the Legend of Chun Li's second week gross (Hey!). I love GI Joe and Transformers but the movies didn't get me bent out of shape because I expect them to suck. But most non fans liked Transformers so for a producer I would be an idiot to spend that kind of money on the same audience who bitched about Firefly being taken off the air, then failed to come out and heavily support Serenity when it came out in theaters. Let's all say it with me, we should expect a He-man movie to suck, be grateful if it doesn't. It's not the richest source material and as the last few iterations hardly made the splash the original did I have to say it's such a difficult property to approach correctly I'd rather they just leave it alone. Let's all stop hating on this young screenwriter who beat the odds and be grateful for the new Star Trek and GI Joe Resolute.

Oh and let's not be dismissive of the unproduced screenplay part. The writer for Battlefield Earth is still working so unless you've read this guys script don't dump on him. There's a million reasons good scripts don't get made.

I can't blame warner brothers for dropping Justin Marks script. If I was a studio head I would see that his last flick (legend of chun lee) was a massive failure. Investing in Marks vision for Heman would be like betting againts the Harlem Globetrotters. I must admit that I'm a little happy that marks script got dumped in the trash because it was not as good as our friends at latino review make it out to be. Mark's certainly captured the setting right, LOTR meets the Matrix. If executed the way he intended then it would have been a brillant looking flick but the problem is his story was complete junk with weird plot devices.
Although I don't stand behind Justin Mark's script I'm preatty freakin pissed off with Warner Bros. current course of action. Its maybe wrong of me to judge this Daugherty fella without reading his completed script but with hearing that he wants Prince Adam to be a warrior astronaut and Skeletor wanting to abolish magic, I am NOT pleased.

fuck dude.

Eh, at least this shitty new version will likely never be made, either.

If I was a writer, I'd fuse Mad max with Conan the barbarian for the He-Man movie. And I mean heavy post apocalyptic world, with weapons and mechanics created for a purpose long forgotten. A world, where magic came alive and fought the fight with technology, sending the whole planet back into the dark ages full with post-apocalyptic mutants. My He-man would be a lonely warrior equipped with a magic sword getting mixed up with the buisness of the strong wizard Skeletor. I'd leave the whole Prince Adam, Orko, eat your vitamins shit out!

Warrior Astronaut? Why not just call it frigging BLACKSTAR instead?

Justin Marks sucks, and so does the new incarnation of this property. We were fucked either way. So I don't really feel like we were cheated out of a proper adaptation.

The funny thing is, that this will come and go so fast that I'll get my entertainment knowing that some studio exec would wonder where he could have possibly gone wrong.

Mattel has done it again. Fuck you Mattel!

"Did I mention his best friend is a talking pie?

Howard, you've done it again!"

Why can't hollywood just go back to the way it was before and make movies inspired (but in no way related to) by franchises like this and stop disoppointing people when the only thing they borrowed from the source material is the name?

Can't they just make this crappy movie- not relate it to he-man and give it a chance?

The fact that's supposed to be a He-man story is like a bad fanfic.

nerd pain is amusing.

I was excited to hear about the He-Man movie...until I heard what they're doing with it. I'd love to see a well-done version of it, but if they're completely changing the mythology, it's indeed going to be bad in my opinion.

Занятно. Хотелось бы еще почитать чего-нибудь на ту же тему.