This is terrible.

So when are they going to start touring state fairs?

I need time to acquire enough tomatoes to throw at the whitest of all rappers.

Why did I watch that before having coffee? That was rough. Especially the guitarist staring at me throughout the video, his eyes telling me, "It's OK, my anal raping you won't hurt that bad." Sheesh. Creepy.

I have to go watch the 1986 animated movie now, so I can cleanse my palette of such utter crap.

This wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that it's trying to out-do one of the greatest songs ever made. The original 'The Touch' made me get an erection and feel I can accomplish anything.

This song just makes me wonder "I had no idea Stan Bush's voice could still get that high"

this clip proves Michel Bays quest to destroy everything that made the transformers cool and loved. and that the execs who gave him the power were on something. though nice to see stan still cashing in on his hit. even if bay has added it as part of his transformers destruction plan

Stan Bush, thank you for ruining the greatest song from the 80's ever. seriously, you're a dick. You could have at least used the remix from Chuck this season, but no, you wanted to rap..... shame

i kind of liked...most of it. if i didn't know what song they took that from i probably wouldn't be so irked. the guitar play was pretty good, very 80s. i'm a sucker for electric guitar solos.

but say no to rap, stan bush, just say no. it feels like this guy hasn't done much since then.

Wow, someone needs to update the entry for crap on wikipedia to this video.

I...uhhm...wow, just wow. At least I know my day won't be too terrible, with that being the worst thing I'll see all day.

I made it 43 seconds in and then I had to stop it before I started cutting myself.

Michael Bay has nothing to do with this. This was an independent white rap musical act of terrorism. I would've loaned you money if you really needed it Stan.

My. Ears. Are Bleeding... Someone call 911................

With 'The Touch' allegedly coming to Guitar Hero soon, I can damn near guarantee it's THIS version.

I approve.

Also I`m clinically insane

CallMeSteam all I can say it better fucking not be that version.

I love it when people lose complete touch with reality. Thanks for brightening up a dreary Friday Stan!

First of all, I didn't like it as a cover. Second, the rap was horrible. I mean it was the kind of thing that makes me ashamed of being a white guy. And finally, when Stan and White Chocolate are giving their serious stares at the end it cut to the guitarist who just smiled like a retard getting ready to go to the zoo. It was both disturbing and hilarious.

Man, that's pretty much the end. Performing your cult song with a Mike Shinoda wannabe. I think I prefer the Dirk Diggler version over this.

I know I'm gonna kid crucified for saying this. . . but I kind of like this version of the song. And let me stress THE SONG. If I had heard it alone without seeing the video, I'd guess it was some Linkin Park/ Nickel Back-esque group doing a cover. It in NO way is even in the league of the original 'The Touch,' but it's okay- like a remix of a song that would play over the ending credits of a movie. Now, for that abortion of a video- what the hell, Stan?! It's like three 50 year old white guys with final cut pro got drunk one saturday and decided to make a music video. Hopefully when they sobered up the next day they committed ritual japanese suicide due to losing their honor by desecrating one Transfandoms most sacred things.

My favorite part is at about the 3:04 mark. Stan and middle-aged-rapper-dude start looking dramatically sad and tired (from what, rapping about fighting Decepticons?). Then we cut to a shot of the guitar player with a goofy smile, nodding his head as if to say, "yes, I am in the worst music video ever."

This is everything that's bad about over-the-hill rockers combined with everything that's bad about Michael Bay.

Stan Bush ruined my Friday.

After 2:20, do Stan Bush and the guitar player go Super Saiyan, and does this set-up a crossover between DBZ and Transformers?

I think it's safe to say this will be on the soundtrack. I mean...c'mon it's fucking terrible why wouldn't they put it on the soundtrack?

That's the kind of touch you use on little kids.

Who let this happen and why? All I wanted was 'the Touch' as I remember it, and now... it's gone forever.

I always wanted to see what Linkin Park looked like when they hit their mid-life crisis.

I scream BLASPHEMY!

CLOWN-F*cking-SHOES

Stan has practically been stalking Michael Bay, writing him songs and performing old ones, even filming a video now, in the hope that Almighty Bay will take pity and put it in his movie.

Stan still has a good voice, but this style of music doesn't suit "The Touch". "The Touch" is rock ballad, nothing more, nothing less.

When I read the paragraph, I thought you were exaggerating about the rapper and how bad the song is.

I couldn't make it past the first fifty seconds.

Get rid of rapper G-Tooth and guitarist Creepy OddMcsmiley and it wouldn't be a bad tribute to a classic.

Stan, I applaud you for trying to update the song for a new generation, know though, that as fans (nerds) we will never NEVER like a version better than the original.

I hope you get your song in the upcoming movie.

I feel like my fondest childhood memories have just been raped by stan "the man" bush. but not with a massive dick it was more like thumbing in a softy with that piece of shit. what the hell happened to the transformers being awesome. Bay should make a video of optimus prime and stan bush apologuising before stepping on stan. "whoops my bad"

I just watched this again just to make sure it was in fact the shittiest thing ever. It is.

That's not very good is it? It definitely deserves to be in Bayformers 2.

How can The Touch be anything other than Optimus Prime's theme anyway?

Y'all need to stop hatin' on my boy MC Prostate Exam.

Wow, I didn't know Peter North was rapping now.

A link to the original:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZKpByV5764

It's Stan Bush superimposed over scenes from the animated movie, playing guitar. Way to be original.

At least his playing guitar is less creepy than the new guy...

OK, Stan Bush has officially worn out his ironic pop culture welcome.

As much as this video pains me in its awfulness, i would not be one bit surprised if it ends up being attached to the new movie in any way. Its got that obvious Linkin Park vibe whic Bay seems to like, as well as some rap thrown in.

And we all know how hip rap is.
Right?
The kids still like rap now don't they?

oh god why dosn't anyone love me anymore...

You got the lawsuit! You got prison showers!

Can't... unsee...

@Hawkeye: The original 'The Touch' made me get an erection and feel I can accomplish anything.

Funniest damn thing I've read all day!!!

@sammon1013: I would've loaned you money if you really needed it Stan.

Should we take up a collection for Stan? Maybe he's not making enough money on the residuals...

Lets all just hope this version of a classic '80s song that fills us with nostalgia and gives us hard-ons will just fade away... quickly...

That....was.....horrible. It was also creepy. I actually felt uncomfortable watching it, and I am home alone!

Remember in 40 year old virgin when Seth Rogen speaks of his weekend in Mexico at a Horse fucking show.

His words
"And you know what? To be honest I just felt bad for her, we all just felt bad for her. I kinda felt bad for the horse"

This is how I felt watching this video. I felt bad for Stan. I felt bad for all of us who watched it. I felt bad for me.

No amount of alcohol can erase this from my memory.

I didn't find the song itself that bad. I wouldn't mind having it on my iPod, but the video... It looks like 3 high school math teachers got together and decided to show the kids how to ROCK!!!!

I guess I know what song he'll be playing at JACON next weekend.

Oh stan, stan, stan. That was horrible...Just horrible

Stan Bush is like a teenage girl trying to lick at the taint of Michael Bay, trying to appeal to his fondness of popular music, money and explosions. Sadly nothing blew up. And Technically, "You've got the Touch" is Rodimus Primes theme. Deal with it haters.

being i was born after the movie (a few months after to be exact) I never could understand "geewuners", why they think they're childhood is being raped with every new show, then I heard stan bush rap and make vanilla ice look like DMX...... yeah...... if youll excuse me im going to wait for the really bad AMVs to be made now

thanks (for nothing) stan, now I know

He better not do the same thing to the Kumite song from Bloodsport. For the record, I HATE the Transformers: The Movie soundtrack.

At first I thought: AWESOME parody.

Then the horror sunk in...

It's because geewunntards are intrinsically dishonest.

He still has a pretty good voice and the band is good. But Stan shouldn't have tried so hard to be hip and should have stuck to the original, superior orchestration. The middle-aged white rapper was a stretch, couldn't they have hired a real rapper for that?? All in all, an A for effort, an F for the finished product.

@JP: "It's like three 50 year old white guys with final cut pro got drunk one saturday and decided to make a music video."

You have no idea how true that is. This video comes from the folks at LiningUp TV aka the most pathetic collection of college drop out nerds to ever grace Comic Con.

This video is the worst direction and effects ever combined into 4 minutes. Just wow.