Oh god, help, I'm dying in my cubicle from suppressing laughter.

Effing brilliant.

In order to avoid confusion between REAL Transformers and BAY's Transformers, I shall now and forever refer to the two factions in his films as "Autotwats" and "Decepticles." Anyone who thinks that's too insulting and that I'm just some fanboy nerd bitching, I would just like everyone to remember that there were testicles on asexual robots. Thank you.

Fuck yourself for disliking it!

Just kidding, I myself have not seen the movie yet. This weekend I was busy watching the Mets be humiliated by the damn Yankees.

I think all the bay loving fools who come to this site to hate on you Rob are missing the point of this site. I come here everyday multiple times a day to catch up on nerd news and your comments on it. I for one think the new transformer movies blow. The best things to come from these movies are 1) the laughs I get from reading what you write about them.
2) Megan Fox.

That...that was so beautiful.

and got so bizarrely, personally offended when I pointed out certain inconsistencies regarding the film's plot.

That was pretty weird, wasn't it?

@lou-bert vs. q-bert

Thank you very much for that suggestion. I found out I quite thoroughly enjoyed it. ^_^

The only thing missing are a couple of slo-mo shots and military men slowly standing up, staring, and being all bad-ass.

I was joking about you not liking the whole movie, and the names people didn't call you, not the clip.

But yeah, you should really move on to hating something el-- oh WAIT, DOUBLE FUCK!!!

GI JOE!!!

The movie's not as half as bad as you made it out to be. There's plot holes, but no worse then the ones in Star Trek or any other big budget Hollywood action movie. Give it a break already, it's meant to be fun.

I'm going to delete hate comments for this post, whether they be for the movie or for me. If people want to call me or each other names, they can do it in the other posts.

I disagree Mr. facepalm...what this site needs is MORE Transformers hate!!! I honestly havent laughed this hard in years....and this shitstorm of a movie deserves nothing but our unending scorn. You think this sites shipped enough Transformers hate??? I say SHIP 'EM ALL!!!! WE'RE GONNA TAKE 'EM OUT A WHOLE NEW DOOR!!!!!!!!

I fully endorse this product and service.

Great work TR, but I was expecting more robot balls.

@Facepalm, it's his blog. You can go elsewhere.

FYI, that means people can hate on the movie or TR, but not call each other names. I'm tired of it.

@ Rob

As was said above, i also come onto TR to see your rants, especially Bayformers related. My friend james is obsessed over the film and thinks it's the greatest thing ever. I am not going to judge him on that but it acts like a complete fanboy and rants against anyone who dislikes it. I mentioned your review of it and he just went berserk.

If you liked it, fair enough, no-one will knock you, if we hate it, give us the same respect =)

No way dude, Michael Bay would never let one shot go on even a tenth the length of that video :p

Can't anyone read coherently?

I was playing off TR's comment about the not liking of the movie people. It wasn't aimed towards mattk. Jesus.

lou-bert vs. q-bert — I understood! No worries.

WHERE IS BARTON FINK IN A THONG!?!

Oh my Lord. That is freakin' hilarious. Just when I thought the FAQ couldn't be topped. Thanks.

I thought the movie was mediocre (despite being a big fan of the first one) and your FAQ was pretty funny. I didn't agree with all of it, naturally, but where's the fun in only reading blogs you agree with 100%?

I almost saw the 4:00pm (PST) show this afternoon (yes, it starts in 45 minutes. However, I had a nagging feeling come over me while standing in the lobby. I had an hour to go, and 10 minutes before they'd even let me into the AMC lobby-proper, and the feeling was just too much to ignore. I had to poo.

There I stood. I could A) wait another 10 minutes then proceed into an AMC bathroom, do my business, and go see Transformers afterward, or B) return my ticket, walk home, and do my business in peace. I opted for B.

So, yes, I opted to take a dump at home over an unpleasant public restroom visit and the Baystravagnza that would follow. I can honestly say taking a shit was more appealing than Transformers 2.

I actually work with the guy that did that video, I'm letting him know it made it here

@ lou-bert & Rob

Yeah, I knew lou-bert was goofin'. I had no problem. Besides, had he meant it, I wouldn't have been offended, but I know why you want to stop the hate. See, it's reasons like this that movies like this should not be made!

Thank you, thank you, thank you... Since beginning grad school, my best friend and I have had our souls slowly wither away, one experiment at a time. Between your site, the TF2 F.A.Q.s, and this clip, we finally feel like our lives might be worth living again.

Personaly, I think you'v put way too much effort into this Bay hatred of yours.
So yeah, not every post you make is supposed to be interesting to everyone but come on... You'v killed the movie a week ago, the last 3 posts were just jumping up and down the carcess.

Except that the last three posts were the best of all. The FAQ was the first time I've posted a link in my four (is it five now?) years on FB, to make sure everyone had a chance to read it.

I spent the first 30 seconds of that clip wondering if it was from the actual movie or not.

Wait a minute, this ain't the real Revenge of the Fallen. I could make out what was going on.

Really, it should be a Shia puppet banging into a Megan puppet admist explosions, with Transformers no where to be found.

This vid was still awsome!

Oh, thank you.

Heh... That was funny. Though I still like both movies.

I have to admit the sheer unfiltered vitriol that this movie has generated has to be on of the funniest things to see in a while. I don't think it was nearly this bad last time around.

I can't wait for the comments for G.I. Joe, 'course I expect to be on the side when that comes out, if I even decide to waste the money to go see it.

That's because the last one wasn't nearly as bad. For TF2, it's like Michael Bay went into the future, ground his future-self up and drank Essence of Bay. The beautiful (horrifying) part of this is, since Michael Bay is becoming more Michael Bay-y with each time loop, it is essentially an exponential juggernaut of explosions and plot holes.

Is there Michael Bay slashfic? There's gotta be, right? Rule 34 and all.

If there's not, let me know by, say, Thursday.

I promise, there will be explosions.

So... I just wanted to point out that while I disagree with you about the movie and still think your total hatred of it is kind of hilariously overwrought (seriously, it was pretty stupid, but it hardly deserves the amount of sheer rage that is being directed at it) I love the site and I love you and I DON'T WANT US TO BREAK UP, BAWWWW!!

Seriously, though, it's just a stupid movie not the end of the world. Everyone raging for or against it needs to just calm down.

Like I said in the FAQ, the shards apparently disappear after being used to resurrect someone, which explains Jetfire, though I think the Decepticons used the shard after getting Megatron alive to create some Constructicons. I dunno.

Also, the least they could have done was subtitle the newest Autobots as they appeared on screen. Remember TMNT, and how they named off the Turtles, even though we should have known who they were?

Also, I'd like to say that my favorite scenes out of all were the scenes of Megatron and Starscream with The Fallen (I think that's his name. And yes, it's a name.) Those scenes had no humans at all. Pure Transformers, albeit without transforming. They entertained me more than Devastator's giant scrotum. More than "I'll do anything for an A!" More than the part of the movie where the credits began (though that entertained me more than the other two examples. Think of it as second place.)

My fantasy hollywood stock exchange posted a $18 drop today for Transformers 2. I might just make a profit off shorting this shitpile!

'Sup Rob.
I always read your blog but never comment. Today I make an exception.
Since I'm not an english speaker, forgive me if the comment doesn't read very well.
For the last three days I've been rooting at my bed with the flu. Not the swine one, but our regular winter pal (It's winter in South America now, you see...)
And your blog has kept me extremely entertained. It meant a lot (snif).
Maybe is the fever speaking, but awesome work! I laughed my ass off at all the Transformers/Rose kid related posts!

@ Rob

If your in such a rush to delete pure crap why not get rid of that MyBrute guys posts.

I liked Transformers 2, it's what you expect from a big summer action movie, a spectacle you don't see any other time of the year. The whole college sequence was terrible but there were some great action sequences (you can't tell me the battle in the woods was not awesome). No matter what everyone says about Michael Bay, the man gave us The Rock and I'm eternally grateful. Ultimately, I really just hope the same amount of energy and hate is put into a GI Joe review because that movie looks like a steaming pile.

Oh yes, GI Joe is gonna get theirs....just wouldn't kick Sienna Miller outta bed....only saving grace.

I enjoyed the movie, but I still thought your bitching was funny. This site kicks ass, you'd have to do a lot to piss me off.

My opinion is this...
Nerds tend to give just as much praise as they do hate.

When they fall in love, it is truly, madly, deeply, and eternal; and their hate is no different.

G.I.Joe , you'll get what's coming to you.

Can I get props for immensely enjoying your FAQ and review but not commenting?

BTW, one of my friends said that everyone at her work is coming in and saying how awesome TF2 is. I was like "uhhh...who's everyone", but she's "normal", and I guess what pleases non-nerds isn't much.

Say another bad thing about the mastepiece that is TF:ROTF and you're going to find out the true meaning of BAYSPLOSIONS!
It'll be awesome.

I loved Transformers 2, but this made be laugh. Kudos to whoever made it.

What I don't understand is how enthusiastic and vitriolic people are when defending absolute crap. They dance around legitimate criticism, and when totally cornered, give the ultimate cop-out answer, "it's just supposed to be entertaining! Turn your brain off!" As if this was a reasonable solution to anything. Well, if you HAVE to turn your brain off, then the film wasn't trying to engage you, it was trying to lord over you. If there's so much spectacle that a basic narrative was lost, the film's just a chance for a studio to steal your money, steal it again on the merchandise, and steal it again on the DVD. I don't understand why people are so quick to shout "Thank you sir, may I have another" to a tyrannically huge blockbuster film that never needed their help and actively insults them anyway.

@ Joel

Go to the review thread and the pre-review rant thread. There are a bunch of comments defending the film and refuting the criticisms. I posted some stuff myself there concerning the twins.

LOL great, worst movie of the year! Was painful to go through.

I hate to do this to you, but I'm gonna link to your TF2 FAQ tomorrow morning and maybe send more traffic to the site, because it's still the funniest goddamn thing I've read in a while.

Congrats!

Hey! We can Disagree without being being. You are starting to hit the "Buthurt" stage here man. As are most of those commenting. Look, its a movie. DEAL WITH IT.

people keep posting crappy links about this movie..i found ONE legit place that has it: http://hubspot.me/?UMKFL Looks all scammy, but the movie loaded up fast so whatev..didn't give me a virus or anything which is rare...yes it does live up to the hype lol

fuck u for dissing transformers 2

transformers2 was great it was sweet kick a