I suppose they can be used in tangent? Good god...

I could have lived to be a hundred and been pretty happy to not know anything about a Twilight dildo, official or otherwise.

You don't suppose that dildo has suction cups so the girls can stick it to that life-size silhouette?

Sold American!

Ugh, sometimes we can give the Japanese a run for their money. Sometimes...

Dear..God...why?

Somebody much smarter than me is making millions on this stuff.

That dildo isn't actual size, I'm guessing.

*clang*
Bring out yer dead...
*clang*

Stephanie Meyer must be getting some sort of kick-backs from all the creepy stalkers of the world. What other explanation can there be? She has convinced millions of teenage girls AND women who are old enough to know better that THIS kind of stuff is okay!

Tristriam said:

That dildo isn't actual size, I'm guessing.

I'm gonna take a guess and say that you know how big a vampire's dong really is? LOL!!!

Wait, this is isn't today's installment of FFF?

I have no comment on the dildo because...well whatever. However that silhouette is one of the creepiest pieces of merchandise I've ever seen. Ever. Life-size cutouts, still kinda creepy but I can see the appeal. This? No.

I'm really, really happy that the dildo is unofficial. I believe I'd vomit profusely if it was officially licensed.

Hey, don't hate on the dildo because of how much Twilight sucks! It sparkles, for gods sake. A sparkling didlo, it's like the magic of Christmas.

Wow.. that was not what I needed to see when I came in. Hoping to see something nice and then half a scroll down sparkley dildo on my screen... Woke my ass up as I burst into laughter.

It's the hello kitty underwear story, all over again. I carefully avoid even the slightest erotic stuff - and that's the internet we're talking about here, you get a boob for every 3.8 mouse clicks - so my coworkers won't think of me as a wanking pervert, and it's a nerd blog about movies and comics that fills my screen with big, pink, glowing vampire love meat.

LOFL, sadly, this is the SECOND time I have seen mention of this dildo today. Oh my.

Thank you for that awkward moment with my mother. I could see her over my shoulder when the sparkle monster popped up on my screen.
I could see the conversation now:
Mom: What are you looking at?
Me: Um...shopping for your birthday?
Mom: You know I like purple better!

How did Meyer manage to make girls fall in love with a pale, creepy stalker that watches them sleep and lusts after their blood? That description fits me perfectly, and yet I never get any skinny goth girl action!

One of my mother's friends told her yesterday that she was so in to twilight that she even believed in vampires now. I bet she has both of these... *shudder*

I am marketing an unofficial Topless Robot dildo.

Well that was interesting.
I too was not guessing by the innocuous title that a sparkling dildo was in my future.
In other news, that has to be a TR first, eh?
The dildo I mean.

"...a life-size silhouette of Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen!"

It's like having a stalker in your very own room. What makes it even worse is the caption 'Be Safe'. That's very creepy.

@ Shibbee:
Your mother should get a new set of friends then. That doesn't sound too stable to me.

TMI!

Oh for fucks sake!! Some Nerd-related news I could do without. Twilight related anything being a fucking huge chunk of that but Twilight related dongs doubly so.

hahahaha, sparkling dildo.. that's priceless.
I'm just curious..
do you think Robert would be offended by a dildo model'd after his junk?

not that 6in is so small.. but still...

i've been a little confused on the whole vampire sex thing, too, seen more than enuf of it on TrueBlood. if they're dead and cold, isn't this just glamorized necrophilia? wow, that's two words i thot i'd never string together.

I want to know how this or anything else twilight is nerd news?

I also want to know why the disco wang is just hanging out on the front page I am at work damnit. Um thats about it, I scared crapless because of this post I mean I know people are buying this but all i can hope is that I never know about it

On the plus side though, if your wife or girlfriend hasn't given sex toys shot but is into Twilight, this could be the perfect way to transition her into such a thing.

Luckily, I don't have that problem with my wife, but since she likes Twilight AND already likes sex toys, I could just be willing to get that for her just for the fun of it, lol.

I wonder how successful the Twilight movies would be if it was done with the vampires from the movie "From Dusk till Dawn"?

I'm sort of glad I didn't read this at work...

However, it IS hilarious.

It would be better, however, if the dildo had a vibrator with a "rape" setting, as that's essentially what Edward did with *his* glittery, icy-cold, ancient penis.

Okay.. First i have to touch on the subject that IF vampires were actually real then they wouldn't be able to have normal sex because it takes blood flow to achieve an erection and as it was stated before they are dead so ergo no blood flow. Not even rigormortis would explain this because it comes then goes then comes back and then goes again for good all in about a 72 hour period. So unless you were having sex with a dead body during one of those times of rigor i don't think you're gonna get much..
But i digress, Seeing this does make me feel like i've died a little on the inside i was one of the many TwiHards ( not the crazy ones, i just liked the books...hate the movies though they fuck everything up)But even being slightly in love with the idea of edward ( not being a dead bloodthirsty overprotective superjealous stalker but more in love with the idea of a perfect handsome love me for me no matter what guy) This makes me a little ill.. I dont think i'd ever get one.. Besides my boyfriend has a lifelong hatred for all things glittery...

Normal people can say what they wish about the weirdness of nerds; this shit is just ridiculously disturbing.

Wow - I *LOVE* the youtube video they have for this thing! The Jaws-ish soundtrack they have is truly disturbing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ve6OT91e-lM

That stalker Edward poster is creepy!
and WTF!?!? Why the dildo add says "I Sparkle"!?!? Why the dildo have to Sparkle? Does Cullen's genitalia have glitter? Is that a metaphore? Why? Why ?!?! I just don't...
*BRAIN MELTS*

Why would you want the shadow of a vampire next to your bed? Like here

I cried when I saw the Dildo. My faith in humanity was in the 9th Circle of Hell, but having seen that, it dug it's way into the 10th Circle.

Twighlite themed dildo? Well that admittedly took longer than expected...

@runeteller
i've heard of corpses having permanent boners... maybe that's the other downside to vampires, immortal boners.

2

Well, that's one way to ensure you wake up screaming in the middle of the night.

does it come in something more of a werewolf shadow, say Jacob

wow. you know that guy that follows you home from the club? I need this behind a folding screen to make sure this guy runs.

the dildo in the freezer would only add authenticity and that extra nudge. out my door.

@ Manwards:

The reason you're not getting that action is probably because you don't sparkle in the sunlight...

On another note, as disturbing as it is, my cousin and I were discussing just the other day just how much money you could make selling a pale, sparkly dildo modeled on Pattinson's junk. Now I really wish we hadn't.

Or at least had thought of it earlier.

The sad truth is - most dildos I've seen, sparkle...

Remember the iVibe?

But seriously, the poster and the dildo go hand in hand. If all she's using is a poster and a dildo to satisfy her bedroom fantasies, then she's clearly being safe, right?

....

Excuse me. I have to go laugh in the closet before I wake my neighbors...

I never thought a dildo could be as disturbing as something that's not a dildo, but here we are.

I think the phrase on these tees (which can also be found on bumperstickers, etc is near the hieght of awfulness. http://www.zazzle.com/team_edward_he_can_bite_my_pillows_tshirt-235253789367552372

It's even more depressing that the posters are now listed as 'Sold Out', as well as the fact that the product has 92 ratings on it, for 100% positive feedback no less.

This depresses me even more than the creepy squid/castle fan fic.

When are they bringing out a Wolf pack dildo???

It comes in a group of three, growls, sheds its' skin and just when you're getting into it it develops a massively inappropriate attraction to the nearest baby!

"Put him on the back of your bedroom door so he can be intrigued while you sleep!"

What the hell does that even mean??? If I had a daughter (my son refuses to even pick up the Twilight books) the last thing I would want is for her to wake up in the middle of the night and be freaked out by the silhouette of some stupid emo vampire.

AS IF THE WORLD WASN'T DEPRESSING ENOUGH ALREADY

Wow, just wow.
"Hey kids want that fresh from the morgue feel but without the pesky mater of being charged with necrophilia? Then you need "THE VAMP!!" Toss it in the freezer, let it sit in the bath tub all night, or just hide it in a cold wet sack for that straight from the grave feel. "The Vamp", for necrophiliacs of ALL ages"

Ya, its like that. And come to think of it you could probably use them in tandem

LMFAO. How freaking funny.
I about died laughing at the dildo.

I don't have enough tears to express the sadness and rage I have in seeing these two items.

So, Rob, please pass the scotch. I feel like forgetting today ever happened.

I was watching the Harry Potter movie with Pattinson in it and when I got to the scene where he was killed, all I could think about was Obi Wan saying to Darth Vader that if he struck him down he would become more powerful than he could ever imagine. But instead of becoming one with the force, Pattinson...joined Twilight...and has his own line of dildos. Ladies and gentlemen, we are beyond the looking glass.

Im still bitter at twilight making it impossible fopr anyone to go see the avatar footage at comic con.

www.slycomics.com

I think it's only a matter of time before someone photoshop 'the Vamp' onto the Edward Silhouette ...

In fact I'm thinking of doing just that right now ...

Must ... resist ... urge ... !

if the dildo were a vibrator, I'd know someone who'd buy it as soon as she learned of it... it'd be perfect for her, her two obsessions in one product... that would probably be sold at the store she works at...

"IF vampires were actually real then they wouldn't be able to have normal sex because it takes blood flow to achieve an erection"

Yeah, Anne Rice's vampires at least had the decency to be permanently flaccid and incapable of sex.

um, that's only for boys, right?

Holy Crap! I have always dreamed about this kind of thing. I love LOVE LOVE Vampires. I dream about them biting me and I also dream about their big cold cocks inside of me. I just ordered 3 of them, and I plan to freeze them all and use them all at once. I don't even need to try this product to know that it is AWESOME!!!!!111

Besides the fact that sparkling penises are creepy enough, and that now we want to model dildoes for all disturbingly pathetic Twitard fans who obsess over the shape of Pattinson's body; it's bad enough that we're basically making a product for all in the closet and not-so-in-the-closet necrophiliacs, and that we're teaching it to our youth. "Yes, honey, it is okay to pretend a dead, cold body is penetrating you with a sparkly penis." Oh, and be sure to paste the silhouette on the wall so he can watch, too.

It's lovely to imagine all of the young females who are going to find a way to attach the dildo to the silhouette, so they can get that "real" Twilight feeling.

Stephanie Meyer, you should be unerringly proud.

This.... is the pinnacle of human innovation. NOT ONLY have we put our knowledge of optically entertaining materials to work, and of temperature-insulating/retaining materials, but ALSO of realistic artistic design. now, put all these together? and you get a dildo.... i'm sorry, i think i have suddenly lost my interest in humanity.

wow....

ok ok ok! i am a twilight fan!!! a devoted twilight fan... but seriously this is ridiculous!!!! how is it that a sick and twisted mind decided to bring this to light. now i know that there is some weird twilight shit but come on people we are not able to fight world hunger and find a cure for cancer but we can build a sparkling pale penis!!! is this world becoming more and more obscured by the demand of the next big thing. i could do with just a sweater and a t-shirt!!! all i have to say is WHAT THE FUCK!!!

Wow, thank you for these images I wish I'd never had permanently seared onto my eyeballs.

For more "Twilight" mockery, my twittertale (which I'm shocked to admit is mroe tasteful than the above. . . who knew?) is at http://twitter.com/Louise_Curtis_

THAT IS JUST SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -vomits on Twilight books- ykwim