This whole thing seems like a very weird idea, but everyone is a little bit crazy so it makes a great read!

Holy Crap! I actually won something?!?!?! Wow, awesome!!! I've been trying to win one of these things for months now.

And the people's choice award? That's so damned cool. I had posted my haikus while pretending to work last Friday afternoon and hadn't check the thread since. This was apparently a mistake as I have now gone back and read through stuff and found that people were rooting for me. If I had known, I would have responded and posted more Haikus.

Thank you so much to everyone who liked my work. To Stephan, Spazweez and MyNoNos and everyone else who was amused at my lame attempts at humor, I sincerely thank you. When I get my free shirt, I will wear it proudly and think of you (but not in any dirty ways, I promise).

And to Anonymous, who disagreed with my belief in Han Solo's ability to kick Kirk's ass, I will say only this:

Han has a blaster
Kirk has a two handed chop
Gun beats fisty punch

CD track title
"Noble End of Qui-Gon-Jinn"
Guess I know who dies

That was the worst spoiler of all time for me...

patrick's acceptance "speech" really made the win worth it. these were great..i couldn't even bring myself to read all of them...but i saved the page..so one of these days.

Great contest!!!
Congrats to the winnars

w00t!

I finally got an honorable mention! And mine was the first! (okay so it was probablly in posting order but let me hold on to it anyway)

I was inspired and also damn lucky the Rancor keeper's name worked. That scene kinda ruined me as a kid.
like wow, I know Luke was in trouble... but he just totally murdered that guys pet when he could have gotten away without the senseless murder... Jedi's are dicks or Luke's no Jedi.

Yay for honorable mention!

These were great. I see a number of these appearing on t-shirts in the near future.

However, worst spoiler of all time?
I think that still has to go to the Taco Bell Star Trek 3 glass with "Enterprise Destroyed" on it that came out weeks before the movie AND was shown on TV ads. I didn't have to buy a soundtrack to learn of the death of a previously unknown character.

Sob.

Well, I got one vote, anyway...

Congrats to the winners!

3 for 3 on haiku honorable mentions...

When am I going to win? WHEN AM I GOING TO WIN???

Actually I got the impression Luke knew Ben before the events of A NEW HOPE. He sure knew of him, anyway.

This was one contest where I just stepped back. You're welcome, Rob.

(And Patrick's first one was the actual winner, for those of you playing along at home.)

Honorable mention? Alright! Thanks, great to be up there!

Big ups to Patrick.
My personal fave which wasn't up there:

Jar Jar is like Shaft
when compared to ghetto twins
from transformers 2

HILARIOUS!!!
Great work man!

Big ups to Patrick.
My personal fave which wasn't up there:

Jar Jar is like Shaft
when compared to ghetto twins
from transformers 2

HILARIOUS!!!
Great work man!

Honorable mention x 2? Sweet! I feel completely validated as a human being and, more importantly, a geek.

Especially among this field. Wow. Props to all the other entries (read 'em all...so many gems) and kudos to the deserving winners (and awesome DQ's)!

Awesome contest! I laughed at quite a few of them. Bravo!

Thanks so much for the honorable mention! Unexpected, but not unwelcome!

YES!!!
Unbelieveable!
Maybe not entirely unbelievable. You'd be amazed at how easy it is for a huge Star Wars nerd to pound out a billion haiku on an iPod while watching his kids.
But still, I had a blast reading all of these and hoped my volume would at least grab me a coveted honorable mention. My hopes dwindled after the first couple of pages as I saw the quality of hilarious stuff.
Congrats to Patrick, the People's Champ! Simply wonderful. All the honorable mentions and DQs are fantastic as well, in addition to the bulk of the entries.
And thanks to Rob, plugging away at what has been my favorite site for 2 years or so. It's like you scooped out a chunk of my idiot brain to cater specifically to my type of nerdiness. Seriously, thank you, and all the commenters here. The laughs and geeky spasms I find daily have made the roughest times go a little bit smoother. This beats my published ToyFare letter from a decade back.
Excelsior n shit!

I suck at Haikus so heres something I think you'll really like. Actually it might really disturb you.
http://nerdbastards.com/2009/09/09/this-is-not-the-droid-youre-looking-for/

I suck at Haikus so heres something I think you'll really like. Actually it might really disturb you.
http://nerdbastards.com/2009/09/09/this-is-not-the-droid-youre-looking-for/

Honourable mention? And Rob said my haiku made him laugh? Sweetie, you've made my day (although I should warn you, it's been a crappy day. I'm not always this pathetic and easy to please, honest).

These were all really good kudos to all

Honorable mention! Yay!... on my 1st comment on this site, no less.....

I'm serious though. That udder thing. I'm a changed man.

Congrats! Welcome to the TR T-Shirt club! We have a special handshake and everything.

Good work, everybody. Eventually, Rob's going to overload reading contest entries, but for now, I think we're in the glory days.