Actually, Jedis being allowed to have sex as long as it's meaningless is canon, if not widely publicized.
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it is quite night we find anakin skywalker walking the streets when all of a sudden a man had just robed some women anakin runs after the manHe robed them? Were they nude? Quite nice of the chap, I must say!
anakin:stop! get backI KNOW, RIGHT? Hit the jump, muthafucker!
as anakin call out the man keeps running. going through a crowd he sneeks in to a night anakin follows him in. anakin see's the guy and use his force pull
guy:what the fuck are you doing muthafucker
anakin:shut up
anakin then punches the guy in the face knocking him the police came and took the guy to jail. as anakin is about to leave he notced some people chatting go go go go anakin went to go see what was going on. anakin was shocked of what he saw. it was master yoda dacing with stripers and drink a bottle of tequila.Stripers? Like candy stripers? Old school, master Yoda!
yoda:oh yes shack that assJTto reiterate, this is what Yoda just said:
You may now continue.
girls:heee
anakin:master yoda what are doing
yoda:oh fuck!
yoda was shocked to see anakin. no jedi new that yoda would do thisI know this is fan fiction, but is any Star Wars fan really surprised to discover Yoda has his own private room in the nearby strip joint? I mean, I thought it'd be full of strippers instead of gardening implements, but I was certain he had the room.
yoda: oh skywalker what are you doing hear
anakin:what am i doing hear you ask what are you doing. and this against the code of the jedi
yoda: look anakin come with me and i will exeplain
as yoda gets off the stage anakin starts to follow him to a backroom the back room looks like it is resrved for yoda. in the room you find hoes every
anakin: so master start explainingAgain:
yoda: well you see skywalker i come hear to un wind to have some fucking fun it all happed 2 years a ago when by accaidit i drank a whole bottle of tequila i was drunk as fuck i was cussing fuck hoes doing crazy shit that jedi do not do but i relized i berly remaber any of it and what i dont rember does't hert me or others
Also:
You may now continue.
anakin:so you saying i can have bear and do crazy shitWhat? I'm so baffled I can't even make fun of this. If Obi-Wan gets a bear, he can then fuck hoes? Or even hos? Does he have to get the bear drunk? Does he have to fuck the bear? Off-screen in ESB, did Yoda keep telling Luke to find a goddamn bear, and that's why Luke left before his training ended? Madness!
yoda:no bear is not good does not get you drunk drink tequila then it is okOh, beer. I'm not lying when I tell you I read this thing a dozen times before i figured out that Obi-wan was talking about beer, because I was so delighted by the idea of Star Wars characters getting drunk on bear.
anakin:i see if i drink alot of tequila i can do crazy shit and have sex with girlsAgain, this is so in character for Obi-Wan it's scarcely fan fiction, right?
yoda:yes but the girls must be hoes like these bitches up hear because with hoes you dont feel love for themEven drunk on tequila, Yoda is a font of wisdom.
anakin:ok then give me that tequilaTHE END. In case you need a visual reminder of Yoda's most important lesson:
And I believe that's enough life lessons for all of us today. And don't worry, I have a great, far-too-long story full of delightful scat-play for you next week, just in case you were thinking bitching how short this week's installment was.
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