Awesome! I totally built candy forts as a kid too, although my parents never let them last that long (and my sister was harder on them than the Visgoth hordes on the walls of Rome).

Don't really have a story, unless you count dressing up as a computer -- and Apple no less -- multiple years in a row in the early 80s because mom couldn't sow and box costumes were easy, a story.

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. The year, 1960. The age, 12. With my mother's help, I personally designed and oversaw the construction of a Totally Awesome Batman costume. No, you could NOT buy one in a store back then. All my friends thought it was the coolest. I went to my sister's home that weekend which was in a hotel right on the oceanfront in Virginia Beach, VA. She and her husband managed the hotel and lived on premises. Va. Beach was only a small town then, not the huge metropolis that it is today. The town sponsored a Halloween costume contest at the Alan B. Shepard Dome & Convention Center. (You know, nerds, the astronaut?)

My niece & I were the same age. I was mom's last, and she was Sissy's first kid. I just knew I was going to win the Grand Prize. Just like Ralphie knew he was getting the Red Ryder BB gun. Sissy took about half an hour to make my niece up as a hobo like the old Emmett Kelly photos. I sneered overtly at this hurried costuming ploy.

Short story a little longer, the BITCH WON THE DAMNED CONTEST!!! I didn't even Place! Now, I love my niece dearly, and she is one of the nicest over-60 ladies you'll ever meet. However, on this night, when she came home with the unremembered Grand Prize, I was FIT TO BE TIED!!

So was this the best or the worst Halloween? You be the judge. I can honestly say that it is one of the best remembered in my whole 61+ years of wandering around on this small blue/green ball and still wondering, "Where the HELL is MY flying car, Dammit!"

I don't know whether this will count as a best or worst halloween moment, but it's the only one I will be submitting.

one halloween when I was in 5th or 6th grade I went trick or treating (incidentaly I went as the young clone of Emperor Palpatine, but that's neither here nor there). Now, by this time I had foolishly figured that I was big enough to go trick or treating by myself, and I figured that it wouldn't be a problem to go to this one house a couple blocks down, where my parents were mild acquaintances of the guy who lived there and I had been over to visit once or twice and he was always pretty nice and would let me look at his comic books (he had a collection). Now I rang the doorbell and the guy came to the door, as I asked for candy he said it would be just a second and that he had to go to the kitchen to get it. After he shut the door I then heard him screaming at somebody inside (who I would later find out to be his wife) and they screamed back, and while I couldn't make out what exactly they were saying it was loud. this went on for several minutes, after which there was complete silence. Since quite frankly I was pretty naive I thought he had just gypped me out of candy, so I got angry, egged his house a few times and left to continue on trick-or-treating.

it was a couple days later that it was discovered (my parents told me) that he had stabbed his wife to death with a kitchen knife, and then committed suicide by slitting his own wrists. I never actually told anybody that I was there until years after the incident.

but yeah, guy committing murder/suicide and then me egging his house, it's definitely both my best and worst halloween memory.

Well, my most shameful moment would have to be the year I assaulted my dad. He was the official after T-or-T candy-inspector, you know for unwrapped stuff or razor blades (did that ever actually happen?). He did this as a front for covertly stealing the good stuff, aka the chocolate. One year, I guess I got fed up with him doing that and picked up a huge handful of candy and threw it at him, then hit him with my candy bucket on the side of his head. Total brat behaviour, I got grounded, and lost my candy privileges. The only thing I can say in my defense was that I was 10. But he brings it up every year, and 18 years later I still feel bad about it.

Best might be the year I dressed up as He-Man. I was/am female and I was about 6 at the time. All the other girls were princesses or ballerinas and I march into school in full He-Man costume (I even had a green Battle Cat), yelling “I HAVE THE POWEEEEER!!”

Mother had the greatest, cheapest idea how to dress my brother and I for Halloween.

We'd be ghosts!

Sounds like a fun and easy idea, cutting white sheets into smocks, and cutting eyes out of white pillowcases.

We tried on our outfits and looked into the wall mirror.

Two Klu Klux Klansmen faced us back.

We still went out and scored lots of candy!

I honestly am not sure if this is the best or worst...

But i was 10 years old... I decided i wanted to dress up as an old man... Little did i know for the past 6 months there was a male stripper in my area making himself well known for going to birthday parties dressed up as an old man...

So i go to my elderly aunts house, i believe at the time she was somewhere around 82 years old and i go a day early for trick or treating in full costume. And yes her birthday is Oct 30th. So here i go up to the door and ring the bell as an old man to be greeted by my great aunt saying "TAKE IT OFF" and pushing dollar bills into my shirt...

I made about 12 bucks before she realized who i was...

The upside I made 12 bucks and for a 10 year old back in the day that was a lot of money...

The downside my great aunt yelling "TAKE IT OFF" still rings in my ears every time i go visit....

Back when I was nine, E.T. came out and I had to be E.T. for Halloween. I got dressed up as E.T. after playing dress up with little Gertie. I made the whole outfit including rigging a glove so the finger could light up. I was proud of it until my Dad said I looked like a bag lady with an E.T. mask.

A neighbor brought me to the Kings Plaza Mall in Brooklyn NY for a costume parade. And I won first prize for the costume. It was the first thing I ever won. Then I learned I won in the girl's division. When I took off the mask to complain for being in the girl's division, they realized I was a boy, and they took the prize away, disqualified me and was called a pervert.

My WORST Halloween memory comes from when I was eight years old and my mother thought that it would be cute if I dressed up as a table. Yes a table, so we got a big cardboard box cut a neck hole in it and threw a table cloth on it. Not only did I get laughed at by all the other eight year olds I also stuck in the door I also got virtually no candy since I couldn't walk very well as well as not being able to bring my candy holder out from beneath my cardboard frame. The icing on the cake though was that at the end of the night I had a huge rash/cut on my neck from being chafed by cardboard. WORST HALLOWEEN EVER

My worst Halloween moment actually occured today. I had my costume all ready to go and had been planning it for months (It was Weird Al, which doesn't take much planning , but still.) Every year at my school, we get to dress up and go to an awesome assembly and play games. We also always get to play tricks on the new teachers at the assembly such as pouring water down their pants. But the best part of all is that at the end of the assembly, WE GET TO PIE SOME TEACHERS IN THE FACE. Hello teacher who docked me marks because I used the wrong font, PIE TO THE FACE! It's awesome.
What's not awesome is that I have a bad cough today and am no longer able to go to school for a week because of the flu being especially abundant in our town this week. This also means I can't squeeze one last year of trick or treating and hang out with friends for the last Halloween we'll be together (most are graduating this year)
Looks like this year I'll be eating vitamins instead of candy this year. Happy Halloween? Bah.

BEST:

In college, my Anthropology class (it was a course on witches) naturally got chosen to build a haunted house for Halloween as our freshman project. We were hardcore into it, we had so many ideas. We painted an entire wall mural of a graveyard with joke headstones. There was a fake coffin with a "body" in it (clothes stuffed with leaves) that looked so real, one of the students who went through the haunted house asked us if it was a person in there. We greeted people in costume and character. The second room of the house had two students as actors, a girl being electrocuted (strobe-light effects) by a mad scientist, and she had the scariest shriek that really freaked people out. As people walked through the dark passageways (which were divided by black curtains) we would hide and grab at their ankles as they walked, which elicited many terrified screams. It's the best Halloween experience not only because we got to do something creative and successful, but because of the best comment we got from someone who went through the haunted house. He was a big, tough thug type, and he came out of it telling us how terrified he was, shaking his head, and how he wouldn't go through it again.

WORST:

I was about 4 years old, and it was my dream to be Tinkerbell for Halloween. But everything about my costume seemed to go wrong. My mom got me a PINK leotard instead of GREEN! Everyone knows Tinkerbell is supposed to wear green! But I had a pair of wings, and my mom was going to make me a wand, so I figured it could still count as Tinkerbell.

At the last minute, right before we're about to go Trick-or-Treating, my mom hands me the wand she has just constructed out of cardboard and glitter. My little 4-year-old mind had had a very specific image of what the wand should look like, and when I saw it, my heart broke. The top of the wand was ROUND! Every 4-year-old girl knows the top of a wand should be STAR-SHAPED! I literally burst into tears, feeling completely broken and that Halloween was ruined. Tinkerbell could not go Trick-or-Treating with a round wand! Believe me, to me it felt like the end of the world. I was inconsolable. Must have been the first sign of a nerd to be. Only a nerd would be such a stickler for details like that.

Growing up my dad was the neighborhood dentist. From the time i started trick or treating until i stopped, every house i went to gave me fruit. My friend that i went with got candy. Every year for like 9 years. Everyone knew me and no-one would give me sugar. And there isnt a kid alive that will trade chocolate for any apple.

Okay, so I have two stories and I'm not sure which one classifies as the worst and which one as the best.

The first one, I was in eigth grade and I was dressed as Hikaru from the Magic Knight Rayearth series. I went with a group of friends, one who was Umi, one who was Fuu, and one who was Mokona. While trick-or-treating, we engaged in conversation with this kindly lady who had a black poodle. A few houses later we met her twin! It was fascinating! Marvelous! She even had an identical dog!

It was a few hours later that we realized that she had run to the other house and had pretended to be a different person. We were just that gullible.

The second story was when Saw III came out over Halloween weekend. We were dressed up for halloween as Kairi, Namine, and Roxas for a party and decided to go see the movie before the party. Yeah. Three teens decked out in full cosplay sitting in the front row of the 7.30 showing of Saw III. Even my dad refused to sit near us.

I was about six, I think, and decided I wanted to be Captain America. The year before I had been Batman -- one of those cheesy costumes with the thin plastic mask, cape and one-piece outfit in a box. For some reason, I was going to make my own costume. Probably taking a cue from my dad: "Shit, you don't need that new Major Matt Mason toy -- we can make something better out of this old oatmeal carton!"
So I trimmed the ears off the bat-mask and drew little white (okay, white "shaped") wings on the head in crayon. I had a blue sweatshirt that I drew the read and white stripes and star on. In crayon. And the most awesome of all -- my pride and joy -- the shield! Made out of thin cardboard, only about 8 x 10 inches in size (yes, woefully lopsided) and drawn in crayon. Oh, I felt awesome. Pumped full of super soldier serum and ready for my debut before my soon to be astonished parents.
Mom sure was -- she even gave a sharp gasp of surprise (which I soon understood was due to me scribbling all over a perfectly good sweatshirt). Dad raised his eyebrows. From the man who thought making stuff out of random crap and rubber bands was great fun: "But don't you want one of them costumes like all the other kids have?"

My best Halloween story is probably what happened to me two days ago. I work at a supermarket, and every year they have a Halloween party for kids. This year, I was dressed as the Joker and was passing out juice boxes as a prize for a kids game. There were two choices, lemonade or fruit punch. So, I was crouched down constantly asking kids "lemonade or fruit punch? lemonade or fruit punch?" A kid (about eight years old) came up to me dressed as Batman. I asked him "lemonade or fruit punch?" to which he replied "fruit PUNCH!" and hit me as hard as he could. It didn't hurt, but I actually fell over laughing. He grabbed the juice box and made a dramatic exit, swinging away on an imaginary bat-rope.

My best Halloween memory is a recent one. Last year I went costume bowling with a group of friends and I was dressed as a victim/killer/zombie. The costume basically consisted of bloodied clothes, a prosthetic gash on my forehead and a face COVERED in fake blood. I was proud of myself because I had never put that much effort into a costume before. This made Halloween great because, not only was I getting compliments the whole night, a really hot girl screamed at my costume and then spent a good chunk of time asking about my recipe for fake blood. I also got her phone number and her friend's. I'm not gonna lie, we're friends now but we wouldn't be if Halloween wasn't o kickass last year.

Oh, I also spent a good chunk of the night arguing the merits of Sam Raimi's "Evil Dead" series to someone who was a Romero purist. I actually got him to concede that Bruce Campbell rocks harder than diamonds.

My fake blood recipe:
1cup light blue dish detergent
3 drops red food coloring
1 drop yellow
1 dot of blue food coloring

Mix all together and use as you wish. If the color doesn't work, feel free to add colors as you see fit. It's just that this was the most realistic mixture I tried.

My Mum never let me do anything for Halloween as a child....

However, for the past two years my church has let a group of us have sleepovers in the church on Halloween and it has been awesome!
Imagine sleeping in a church with a graveyard right outside and dressing up as creatures of the night knowing full well how blasphemous this is yet doing it anyway and enjoying it. Yeah, so I'd say this is my greatest Halloween moment....kind of moment.

Sorry, but my story is a little tragic, but it's also twisted and wrong, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell. I have a love/hate relationship with Halloween. I hate horror movies and gross things because I'm a giant pansy, but I do like the traditions of Halloween: carving pumpkins, dressing up, candy galore, etc.
On October 29th, 2001, when I was 17, my father died of lung cancer. Needless to say, I didn't celebrate Halloween that year. He was interred and all that stuff, and he had the normal metal plaque headstone, etc. A few years later, my grandmother decided to have him moved from the cemetery grounds and into the mausoleum next to my grandfather's resting place (buried in the wall). Well, my aunt comes over (to my childhood home in which my sister and I were living intermittently, but it was usually empty) at some point and says "this is your dad's old headstone. We're not sure what to do with it; do you want it?" Frankly, I wasn't sure what to do, but I thought it was weird to just toss it, so I said "yes" and stuck in some corner of the house. Another few years later, I decided that this year I'd hand out candy from my old childhood home instead of my grandmother's house because no one really came to her place the last couple Halloween's. Well, I hadn't been to the house in a while and the decision was pretty last minute. When I got there, it was dark, and I realized that my little non-descript house with the fallen shack in the backyard, and the gnarled trees, and the grass up to Jupiter was rather creepy. I didn't have any decorations. Then I remembered that I had my father's headstone. I had a brief moment of consideration: "is it cool to do this?..." Then I remembered that I don't believe in an afterlife and even if my dad is "watching over me" I do way worse, more disturbing stuff in my bedroom. *ahem*
So I put my dead father's abandoned headstone on my lawn right next to the front door with the missing number and the spider corpses (poison put out for insects). That's right: my house was the Spooky Abandoned House on the Corner.
There must be something creepy about a non-descript house that may contain a horrible secret, because the children old enough to read looked like they weren't sure if they wanted to eat my candy. The ones who WEREN'T old enough to read knew something was wrong though. In fact, one kid seemingly realized that it was a headstone, and (among a crowd of other children) stopped cold and, without saying anything or crying or screaming, just turned around and walked away, before breaking into a run and getting back in his mom's van. The best/worst part of the night was when this Latina family (probably mexican, but I can't be sure) came to my door and all seemed well, until I noticed the mother repeatedly glancing nervously at the headstone and holding her children's hands so tightly, they were nearly turning white. I watched them walk away, and once they were near the street, I heard the mother say "Dios Mio!!" Mission accomplished. I gave some people a very scary Halloween.

As a kid, my mom usually made my costumes by hand, my favorites being a dinosaur and a skunk. When I was 11, I went as a Jawa, light-up eyes and all. I even dressed as a construction barrel once.

When I was eight, though, I had a brilliant idea. The ultimate Halloween costume ever. I went... as a Mexican.

Or, at least, what I thought was an accurate representation of a Mexican. I wore a sombrero and an Andean poncho (as a girl, I thankfully forwent the stereotypical Mexican mustache).

I grew up in a predominantly-white but still rather racially-diverse and liberal-minded community. What those people thought when they opened the door to see a little girl dressed as a stereotypical Mexican, I may never know, but I can certainly guess.

Worst Halloween Ever:

Long, long ago, when I was only a little nerd (about 8 years old), I had the most awesome costume ever. Does anyone here remember Dinotopia? I was a Skybax, otherwise known as "those awesome giant pterosaur things that people rode around on". My mom and I, being firmly against store-bought costumes, made an incredibly elaborate costume complete with giant wings and a head crest. It was great. My best friend and I picked up our trick-or-treat buckets and, excited and proud of our costumes, rang the first doorbell. The door opened slowly, and an old lady appeared in the doorway. "Aren't you two cute!" she exclaimed, and then...

"Are you Big Bird?"

I've never really pulled off the girly thing OR the tomboy thing with total success. Yes, I preferred playing with Hot Wheels to playing house, but I generally made the cars fall in love. Yes, I guilted my mother into buying me Barbies, but I then stripped them all naked and hung them upside-down from the dining room furniture, pretending they were bats.

For Halloween when I was five, these tensions could really only result in one thing: "I want to be a pink dinosaur Indian princess named Tiger Lily." (Give me a break; I'd just seen Peter Pan for the first time.) My mother, awesome lady that she is, made it. Yep. I walked around my neighborhood in a pink jump-suit with claws on my feet and hands, spikes on my tail, my little five-year-old face peeking out of the atrocious lizardy maw of a giant dinosaur head. There was a feather sewed on the back of the head, and I carried my tail draped over one arm (I was a mite disappointed because I could not thrash it around and knock over bystanders, but I got over it), and, if those clues weren't enough to let you know exactly what I was, I obligingly shared my identity every time a grown-up asked me (with probable trepidation) what I was supposed to be. "A pink dinosaur Indian princess named Tiger Lily."

So much better than some lame old witch.

(I wish that costume still fit, but I think it only really worked because I was too little to understand how politically incorrect it was. Oops.)

.....Sorry, Rob. I didn't realize how super-long my entry was. >.

Best Halloween Moment:
My Birthday is relatively close to Halloween, so whenever I had a party it was Halloween themed. One this bastard friend I had came round to my house with a bunch of other kids (we were in Year 2 or 3 at school, I think) and I had a terrible costume: It was like a Yoda mask painted white with a big black cape or some shit. Anyway this guy I had round was a real piece of work. He was an only child and he always got what he wanted, he was really spoiled and expected people to pay attention to him whenever he needed it. We've all known a kid like that, right? Anyway, we played two games at my Birthday/Halloween party.
One was the Chocolate game, and when the timer started you had to put on a big hat, scarf and mittens, then try to cut up a big bar of chocolate with a knife and fork in under a minute and eat as much chocolate as you could. BEST GAME EVER incidentley.

So it's this kid's turn. The timer starts and he fumbles with the clothing lazily, despite half a dozen kids screaming at him to hurry, hungry for some greedy, frantic action. He acts like a real idiot, reluctantly cutting up the chocolate and constantly dropping the cutlery. The timer stops and we're all shocked. It's chocolate! What the hell kinda kid wouldn't want to eat chocolate? The time is up and the kid is glaring at everybody.
'SHUT UP! I HATE THIS GAME!' He screams, and then bends over and does a giant fart all on the fresh bar of chocolate. What an epic asshole. Of course no one touches it again after that and we move on to another game. Just like the spoiled little brat wanted.

The next game is Squeak Piggy Speak (we have weird games here in London, but it's all terribly good fun so STFU) and basically you sit in a circle and roll a dice to see who goes first. That person shuts their eyes and silently, a second person is picked to go sit on their lap (?) and squeak like a pig (pigs squeak now?). The first person then has to guess who it is. Eventually it was the kid who had his eyes shut and my best friend at the time was to sit on his lap. My friend crouched over the kid, smiled, then let one rip right in his face. Everyone burst out laughing.

The spoilt kid threw a tantrum, got picked up by his parents and my friend got into a lot of trouble but it was worth it. He couldn't see under that crappy Yoda mask but I was grinning from ear to ear.

I've been rambling for a while so....

Worst:
Once I dressed as Green Goblin and had a pumpkin pail, which I threw like a bomb and it cracked, spilling all my sweets onto the nasty nasty ground. If I was a real boy I would have eaten them anyway, but I was a very anal young child.

I have so many awesome halloweens it's hard to pick one. Sure there was dressing as the blues brothers with my brother and I am fat and he's skinny and instead of trick or treat he'd say when the door opened we're on a mission from god... Awesome I know, but then I also went as a giant pac man with a power pellet ball hanging from fishing line.

But the greatest was during the peak of g1 transformers hype. I always had a thing for Soundwave and Shockwave, and being a jerk not wanting to make things easy, I wanted to be Shockwave.

Since my dad works as a scenic artist I knew he could pull it off. And off he did I had a 7 foot tall very accurate Shockwave, and my brother as a 5 foot tall Jazz. Only problem was it took so long to build it's halloween and they're still unpainted. We had maybe a few hours so I became a neon purple Shockwave and Jazz was Neon Blue.

We were only bummed for about 5 minutes when down our own block a couple of 5 year olds scream to their mommy "MOMMY MOMMY, IT'S THE TRANSFORMERS!" and one of the little boys goes to my brother, "Jazz! Why are you hanging out with Shockwave, he's baaaaaaaaad?"

AWESOME TIMES 10000000000000000 (plus we both won $250 at a costume contest)

My most shameful moment actually took place over a period of several days.
I went to an awesome Halloween party dressed as Captain Harlock. My costume was one of the best I've done. I had the cape, the gun, the eye patch, the big skull and crossbones across my chest. The whole deal. What I DIDN'T think of was a change of clothes! So two days later I'm still at the house the party was held at (it was an awesome party as I said), still dressed as Harlock, minus the cape patch and gun, and we decide to go see a movie. I went along but I felt like an idiot as everyone gave me a weird look as they passed by me in line. From then on I always keep a change of clothes in my car.

My worst/most shameful halloween moment was when I was 4 and Tim Burton's Batman had just come out. There was this AWESOME rubber Batman costume that was so bad ass to the 4 year old me that I begged my mother to buy it for me. She said no then added the words that would haunt me for the rest of my life,

"Batman isn't for girls!"

I was horrified and countered that Batman was totally for girls and I could dress up in his costume if I wanted to. I then told her it was the costume I wanted. She said she'd think about it after talking to my dad.

The next day she came home with a costume for me. It was a Minnie Mouse costume.

I was so pissed that I refused to put it on and even after my mother said I would not trick or treat if I didn't wear the Minnie Mouse costume, I stood strong and said I would only go out in costume if it was the Batman one and added that candy would not taste as good if I wasn't in the guise of Batman (since Batman is a known candy fiend apparently).

That year, my halloween class photo has me in my everyday clothes and with the most pissed off expression ever seen on the face of a 4-year-old. Some boy I hated got my costume. My parents still love to rag on me for being so angry.

Last year I came to school as the Joker. Now, I'm really getting into the character. Lip-licking, shifty movement, everything. So, it's a big hit, and I'm in history class. Now, our high school has a preschool program, and today all the kids were walking by. I love kids (NO NOT LIKE THAT), so I go out into the hall to tell them Happy Halloween and what great costumes I have. And then one of them starts crying. So, I just awkwardly walk back to class, sit down, and never speak of it again. UNTIL TODAY!

tldr: I made a preschooler cry

I had a costume mad out of paper bags one year when I was 7. The candy was great but not when you have to walk around with it inside of you.

539

OK so I do sorta have a worst halloween, but nothing all too tragic.

I had a thing with going as the grim reaper between 13-16. Every year I got better stuff to add. So now I had the awesomeest glow in the dark very detaied skull mask, bone gloves, bone shoecovers, a heavy cloak with holes revealing parts of a full skeleton frame, etc.

So I am in class minding my own business when I hear an areosol can spray behind me. I turn around to see a pink neon mohawk on my $80 mask and was so bumed for the rest of the day I stayed in costume and wandered around town. I was Emo Reaper.

Funniest/Worst Halloween moment, depending on who you ask.

About 10 years ago, after College, my girlfriend and I had our annual Halloween party and invited all our twenty-something friends. At the time, one of my odder friends was dating a real trainwreck of a girl with lots of 'issues'.

Little did I know she wasn't allowed to have alcohol with her meds.

She came as a Bedsheet Ghost (ala Charlie Brown), and before long, her ghost-mouth-hole was caked with cherry jello-shot (Vodka) residue. Before long, she was reeling around the party, causing trouble, sitting in everyone's lap, "showing folks what was under her sheet", etc... and generally acting odd.

At some point, my buddy said "What's in those jello shots anyway?"... "Vodka", I replied. A look of pure horror dawned on his face. "Why?" I asked... "Because", he said, "She goes nuts if she has a drink". Oh dear.

My buddy had to literally drag her out the front door by her feet, after she chased me around the room trying to kiss me, tongue darting out of her red jello-hole, shouting "Kiss me - I really understand you!".

They didn't last long after that.

She now lives on in legend, as the "worst bedhseet ghost ver". I may have to dress as her this year.

Mine is a best story. I was 7 and dressed as my dad as halloween. I know a lot of you are like how stupid. But I look like my dad to a T there is no denying me. So my parents own a resturaunt and we go there after trick or treating to help out (eat free food and get in the way) so I go into the kitchen and my pops used to pick on this teenage buss boy saying he would fire him and all that kid did a good job. I walked into the kitchen walked up to him and said jason your doin a damn fine job and I'm doubling your salary. It was hilarious! First off my dad gave raises about as often as he ran marathons. (Never) and of course he made hourly plus tips. Still hilarious.

This is one of those moments which could have gone shameful very quickly, but didn't.

My sophomore year's Halloween party included a lip-sync contest. I had one of those friends who could rope people into doing anything, and she decided that our little gang was going to do "I'm a Lumberjack (and I'm okay)" from Monty Python. She would do the lead, and we would be her backup singers. So we all dressed up as lumberjacks (not hard when you live in the frozen North).

They told me to type up the lyrics so that we could all rehearse before the big moment. We had them down in the cafeteria, and sat perusing them through our meal.

Into the cafeteria at that moment walked our Latin teacher. A big man with a bigger presence, dramatic and classically trained, who went to school at Oxford and actually attended lectures given by JRR Tolkien. I kid you not. He was awesome. His lectures could get quite animated, and he had a deep booming voice which could carry quite a distance.

My roommate, particularly smitten, invited him to sit with us, which he did.

"What's this?" he asked, snatching the paper from my hands. "I'm a Lumberjack and I'm okay," he recited in that voice which carried across the cafeteria. And then, he proceed to recite THE ENTIRE SONG as if it were an epic poem, as we all sat there slack-jawed and everyone around us turned to stare.

It was completely surreal, but I must say pretty awesome.

My earliest Halloween memory is one of the worst in retrospect.
It was the very early 90's, maybe 92 or 93, and my mother was fresh outta highschool. Coming home to my grandparents and me early on Halloween, she proudly displayed the Batman costume she'd procured for me. Being only 3 or 4, I was of course overjoyed that I'd get to dress up as the caped crusader.
But before I could get the costume on, my mother said she had to make some alterations. Being four, nothing seemed amiss to me. Later, costume on, i trick-or-treated to my hearts content. My candy-based young mind didn't register however, the lack of a cape on my costume. Or the lack of the trademark batman cowel.

Years later, my mother would inform me that she'd actualy purchased a CATWOMAN costume, because it was cheaper. The alterations she'd mentioned consisted of spending 5 minutes drawing an unconvincing bat across the white chest of this little girl's costume.

So, Worst Halloween Moment? Realizing my young mother willingly dressed me as catwoman and took me trick or treating at age 4.

TL;DR teen mother makes bastard son dress like catwoman and parades him around the neighborhood.

On Halloween Night in 1987, I was six years old and understandably psyched; not just for the candy that I knew was to come, but because my older brother and I were going out as Batman and Robin. The Adam West and Burt Ward versions. We were fans.

My older brother, of course, was Batman; while I was his green-pantied boy-wonder, following him from house to house and imitating his every action as we raced against time to fill our bags with as much chocolaty swag as we could get.

It was a great night. What kid doesn't want to put on a superhero costume and walk around in public; with not only social acceptability, but the reward of free candy to boot? Halloween was awesome.

My worst halloween moment would definetly have to be when i was like 4 i was dressed as a superman.i thought it was amazing.but in my child mind i thought maybe the costume gave me the powers.so then i proceded to jump of the crazy old lady next doors porch into the rocks in hopes of flying.i broke my leg and lost all my candy.and my siblings hated me for it too.

One year, I decided to dress as Wolverine. I styled my hair, put on a leather jacket, jeans, some dog tags, and DUCT-TAPED 3 METAL SKEWERS TO MY RIGHT HAND. As the night went on I got progressively drunker, scaring everyone with my disregard to my weaponized appendage(I tend to "talk with my hands"). Then toward the end of the night, I "accidentally" slashed my sister's boyfriend across the face (he wasn't seriously injured). My friends held me down and forcibly removed my claws (they say it was for my own safety). Good times.

When I was 7 I had the best costume ever. It was the most epic costume in the history of epicness. Multiple people bowed down when they saw the majesty of my coustume. This may seem like a hyperbole but in all truth it was not for on that faithful Halloween night I took the guise of a Fish.
Yes a Fish. The majestic yet humble citizen of the deep. Unlike other girls my age I shunned costumes like princesses and faeries for I wanted to transcend the ordinary and become a Fish.I would take no other coustume. And because the humble Halloween stores were to afraid to have a stock of Fish costumes my parents, even though they could not sew, took the noble and heroic task of creating the ultimate Fish coustume.
Needless to say my coustume was miraculous. I was showed in candy by the people who did not faint when they saw the almost orgasmic majesty that was the Fish.

We were poor so we could never afford costumes. So my mom would always use what she could find with amazing results. My favorite one was me and my brother went as Rubic's Cubes.

She cut a hole in the top of boxes and then painted the sides. She painted mine solved and my brother's mixed up!

Of course she also paraded us around her work place and showed off our inifinate cuteness to everyone.

This Halloween, at the age of 24, I spent almost $200 on my Han Solo Halloween costume, and another $40 on my girlfriend's Princess Leia costume and I am forcing her to go with me to bars around the area as Han and Leia. I am also sitting in law school in my Han Solo costume...officially making me the biggest nerd ever, except possibly the husband of a girl in my class who happens to edit a the biggest nerd blog with the initials TR....

Mine is, I believea best idea for me and maybe a worst idea to some other people.
One year I went to a friend's Halloween party goth-ed up and spouting bad poetry. Halfway throught the party, I was killed by one of my other friends and dragged up stairs. After about 5-10 mins I turn off all the lights and reappeared walking down the stairs bathed in light in my true costume: Jesus!
Yes I had myself killed and then resurrected at a Halloween party. Everyone got a good kick out of it.

my best Halloween story. dressing up as skelator when i was bout 7 and getting some extra candy from a lady for threating to use my havoc staff and turn her into some slippers for beast man. my worse Halloween memory dressing up as a racoon and the school teachers since this took place during halloween at school kept thinking i was every thing from a wolf to a real hairy dog.

By far the worst Halloween I've ever had was when I was around 9 or 10, a bit fuzzy for me since it was quite a bit long ago. My memory of the costume is a bit fuzzy too but I believe I either didn't wear a costume or I wore a scream mask with a vampire cloak, sigh* they were out of scream robes. Being the child I was, I was pretty damn excited to go out to get and eat a shit load of candy. I went with my friend and I was sporting a huge bag about 3 feet tall by 2 and a half feet. My friend and I walked for a couple of miles going in one direction and then coming back to go around the other neighborhoods. My entire bag was stuffed with treats, I had a pretty hard time carrying the thing, anyway we stopped by a house where a dude was relaxing on his chair. We said "Trick or treat" but the guy said they didn't have any candy so we went on our way walking back home. Now I noticed the guy that didn't have any candy was following us and I was scared so I confided to me friend, he said not to worry and I just brushed it off. The guy fucking rushed us aiming for my candy since I was smaller and I held onto the candy bag for about 10 seconds when he finally snatched it from out hands running off across the street laughing maniacally with the biggest grin on his face, the asshole was in his 20s. We were only 5 minutes away from our houses and I had my candy taken, the candy I worked my ass off collecting for hours and some fucking 20 some-year old dipshit steals it from me, a child. Well luckily I wasn't hurt by him but we walked home in silence and when we confided to my friend's mother in his house she gave me all the left over candy and my friend shared me some of his. I was still shaking from it and when my parents asked me if I got a lot of candy I replied, "yeah", didn't feel like worrying them. After that day I became a bit more wary of strangers and I never went trick or treating the following years, whenever Halloween comes there's a bad taste left in my mouth and anger. I really don't know why I never bothered to call the police afterward when I had the chance since I knew where the guy's house was since we trick or treated there. Now I'm hoping one of those candies were poisoned so the fucker could suffer, at the very least get a stomach ache from eating all the candy. *Sigh*

My best halloween memory begins in 1991. I had browbeaten my mother into buying me a Raphael teenage ninja turtles outfit. and boy was it crappy....i'm talking a big cloth/polyester shell/plastron that fit over my torso like football shoulder pads, green tights, a green ski mask with the face cut out, and one red ninja mask. who cares if i looked more like what Raph would look like with vitiligo, in my mind i was raphael damnit! while trick-or-treating in my grandmothers neighborhood a small group of children had formed up into one herd roaming from door to door. there was raphael(me), a princess, freddy kruegar, the crypt keeper, snow white, and....dracula.

Now Dracula looked to be about a year older than me and for some reason declared himself leader of this candy hoarding...horde. he'd tell us which house to go to next and that he would get first choice of the candy at said house. me being the arrogant, bump authority ninja turtle that i was, told him there was no way he was getting first dibs on any candy. after this he started sneaking up behind me and hissing while baring his fangs, trying to scare me, I guess he figured if it worked for dracula it'd work for him too. What this fool didn't know is i was raised on horror movies. I had already worn out 2 copies of night of the living dead on vhs by watching them so much at this point. I'm not going to be scared of any faggy vampire.

He persistantly keeps coming up to me, house after house, doing his teeth baring hiss like he's going to bite my neck. Then finally, as we wait for a lady to get to the door to give us candy, something within me snaps...I become Raphael for real. he hissess in my ear and i turn around quickly and with all my might punch him right in the stomach. his glow in the dark vampire fangs fly out of his mouth and he crumples to the ground. dracula begins crying and runs away at full speed to his house. I triumphantly run back to my mother who is standing out in the street following our little group to make sure we don't get group abducted by "the badman" yelling at the top of my five year old lungs, "I just kicked dracula's ass!" morale of the story, don't fuck with a ninja turtle.

On a side note, this is also one of my mother's favorite halloween memories too. she tells it every halloween and laughs and laughs about it. Gotta love mom.

best halloween: Probably the time I trick or treated as Lion-O with my light up sword of omens.
http://www.toyarchive.com/Thundercats/Novelty/SwordOfOmens.html
BEST T-Cats toy ever... Don't remember much about candy that year but running around dressed up as Lion-o with that sword was priceless...

Best:

Dressing up, age 7, as the Terminator for the primary school party. Yes, I had seen the movie about a year before.

Leather jacket, gun, shades. Won a prize too.

Either that or the Monster Hunter International costume I had a year ago. Was a STARS outfit that never got off the ground with the MHI patch on it.

While I am sure most people reading Topless Robot will tell you they were not terribly popular in grade school, i can attest that I was truly the least popular kid in my school and neighborhood. I had zero friends. There was a Drew-haters Club and was once sent to the hospital because I had been knocked out by a rock that the nerds in school were throwing at me. So life before high school was pretty pathetic. Well, in sixth grade I had no intention of going trick or treating alone so, like normal, I didn't plan a costume. Well, that Halloween my mother decided I seemed bummed that I wasn't going out begging for free candy so she decided I should go celebrate Halloween the way normal kids did. So we put together a costume that consisted of an arm sling, two crutches, a neck brace, ace bandages and some foam that made a good fake cast to go around my leg. With some fake blood and a blacked out eye I looked like a genuine accident victim. So I went door to door alone with my mother following me in the shit-brown station wagon on the street and not only did I collect candy, but sympathy from all the neighbors regarding my horrific accident. To top it all off, it was pouring rain. It truly was one of the most pathetic experiences I ever lived through, and believe me there were many.

When I was a child the local community center put on a party for all the kids. Well the party always had one of those lame haunted houses. When I was around eight or nine years old I was walking through it. I was in a section that had strobe lights. Disorientated a guy in a werewolf costume managed to scare me and I hauled up and decked him. Small skinny girl me decked the wolfman.

I have no idea if that's my greatest or most shameful halloween moment but I think it's hilarious.

My best Hallowe'en moment was when I was a Katamari. On my shoe at the back was a mini-Prince. I was epic.

My worst Hallowe'en? Probably when I was a Katamari. Stupid popular kids had NO idea what I was supposed to be. Kept pushing me over. They didn't steal my candy though! I had a knobby thing open and my costume became my candy pail/bucket/sack.
That Hallowe'en... the nerd definitely won.

I know what my best Halloween was.

You see, when growing up I loved 2 things a lot: Sonic the Hedgehog and Ghostbusters. One year I went as Sonic the Hedgehog....a store bought costume. The next year I thought I'd go as Tails. Only there's one problem: No Tails costume comes pre-made. I was really set on wanting one though, but seeing as how I was roughly 8 years old....I could sew one myself. This is where my Mom came in. We went to the store bought a fox costume pattern,, and she made one with one extra tail. It was pretty rad. Unbeknown to me my friend from down the street had an idea for a costume. Ghostbusters: His mom made 3 Ghostbuster outfits one for me, one for my bro, and for my friend. So, it came down to deciding between 2 home made outfits. Miles 'Tails' Prower or a Ghostbuster! In the end I went as Ghostbuster, Ray Stanz to be exact, with suit, boots, and of course the toy proton pack strapped to my back.

But seriously, when you're 8 years old, and have not one but two home made costumes to choose from, you call that a good Halloween.

halloween 1980..for some reason our preschool halloween party was the day after trick or treating. i ripped my R2-D2 costume trick or treating, so my mom bought me a new costume for the party: muffet the daggit from battlestar galactica. not a sweet cyclon, not a replacement R2-D2, no the robot dog.

This is both my best because it was so random and my worst because...well, you'll see.

When I was 9 I went trick or treating as an executioner (the only girl in my class to do so) and I trick or treated at the houses that had porch lights on, just like everyone else.

Well, one guy apparently forgot it was Halloween. He looked shocked, and told me to wait. Then he left, came back, and dumped random stuff in my bag. Later on, on the way home, I looked to see what he gave me.

I will forever remember that year as the year I got Robatussin cough drops for Halloween.

My most shameful and/or hilarious Halloween fable involves my high school, watching too many horror movies and my first experience with LSD.

It was a chilly evening in 1997 and my friends and I were killing time on Halloween, waiting to go to my school for a 'Lock In' overnight party.

So we start the afternoon off at a friend's house watching some horror flicks. Jason, Freddy, Leatherface, the whole crew was there. It is time to head to the school.

As the 3 of us are walking the oldest guy in our group says he 'got something from his brother to help pass the time'. He produces small slips of paper with a yellow smiley face on it. He instructs us to 'eat it'. We do.

After we eat said paper he tells us it's acid. My friend Bobby and myself begin to freak. And then somewhere along the course of the walk the effects kick in. Hilarity ensued.

My school is lakeside. By the time we reached the lake I think all 3 of us were in full on panic-ridden sprints, screaming like little girls, thinking someone was chasing us.

When we arrive at the school we bang loudly on the door, get let in, and run down the hallway to the bathroom. When we walk out zombies, vampires, demons and ghouls begin roaming the halls, scaring us shitless. As we run the halls every 3rd classroom is loudly playing horror movies.

We go to leave, slamming our hands on the door to the outside world, away from these demons! Only to realize... WE'RE LOCKED INSIDE ALL NIGHT!

I literally only remember running, hiding, and eventually waking under a pile of coats in the cafeteria.

When I was about 10 my 2 best friends and I went as our favorite g.i. joe characters. (SnakeEyes, Desert Duke, and Cobra Commander) In our town trick or treating tended to be split on halloween and the saturday closest to it. Well that year it was friday and saturday.

Friday went great, we looked awesome and hauled in a ton of cany. Duke went home and just devoured everything in his bag. The next night we are out trick or treating and I noticed a bad smell. It was horrible smelling like a massive sewage leak. I complained about it but seemed to be the only one who could smell it.

After a few more houses I was getting ill. Duke and SnakeEyes went up to the next house while I hung back trying not to get sick. Duke's desert camoflage had changed. Distinctly. I asked him what he had sat in. the answer was nothing. We decided to walk to the gas station where there was far more light.

When we got there it was obvious that the massive amount of chocolate had given him the involentary runs. And his ass and the leg almost to the knee was coated in shit. Needless to say halloween was over and he has never lived it down.

My best Halloween was when I was 7 or 8, around the time Batman: The Animated Series was on. And i loved the hell out of it, especially Poison Ivy. I've always had a thing for plant-based superheroes/villains, and she was badass. So my mom made a Poison Ivy costume, complete with fake ivy sewn onto a green leotard-- I forget the rest. I just remember loving it so much I ran around in it at home until I grew out of.

The year after (or before?), I was Batgirl.

I wanted to post my best Halloween, but I have just realized that I am an enormous nerd, and because of that I have not, nor will I ever, get laid on Halloween. Thanks you guys. You've ruined it for me.

I don't really have a best story, but I do have a worst. The worst would probably the last year I went out trick-or-treating. I went as Harry Potter. Yeah, ok, maybe that doesn't seem weird, but I'm a girl. I spray-dyed my hair black, wore huge coke bottle glasses that I had gotten in my own glasses prescription to replace my normal wire-frame pair, an awesome pointy hat that looked like Mickey Mouse should have been wearing it in Fantasia and a long blue robe to match. Sadly enough, I didn't understand the weird looks I got from my neighbors and friends when I showed up at their houses until after I had gotten home. It just made me feel horrible. And I never went out again, partially because of the shame and partially because I was 16 the next year, making my unintentional cross-dressing story even worse. Damn it all.

One time when I was little I went as Snow White by my own choice.

Ps - I'm a dude.

One year an ex convinced me to go to a party dressed as An Adult superhero called Captain Sodomy (Ass-less chaps, long flowing cape) My catch phrase was " I got your ass covered"
She dressed up as fellatio Girl (pink body suit with flesh coloured panties)

Looking back it probably wasn't appropriate to go to my grandmother’s nursing home's Halloween party dressed like that
but ........your only young once. ;)

One year I dressed as the Flash and went out with my friends. We walk up to one house and a fat lady comes out dressed as Cruela DeVile with music and everything. Me being very smug saw that she had some upper lip hair. Instead of saying Trick or Treat I said 'Are you a man?'. She slammed the door in our faces and my friends mom lectured us. It was worth it.

My bad story is that this year I went as the original comic book version Cobra Commander. Home made costume that looks professional. Today at school only some teachers and a handful of kids knew who I was. Fail.

My greatest Halloween moment was a couple years ago. My Wife, kids and I had a theme. I was a Jedi, my wife Leia in her white New Hope dress and Bun wig, our 5 year old Darth Vader, 3 year old 501st Clone Trooper and 7 month old R2-D2. I was so proud.

Most shameful moment was when trick or treating with friends in junior high. We went to one house where a hot looking high school girl wearing a black leotard catsuit and painted on whiskers. Every year after we went to the same house hoping to see her again.

I was nine years old and the family didn't have cash to get me a Halloween costume. I decided to go out anyway wearing my regular clothes carrying a paper grocery sack.
It was a bit later so most homes had already seen their share of Halloween kid traffic. One old guy asked me what I was supposed to be and I told him I was a poor kid who couldn't afford a costume. He got such a big kick from my remark that I scored major amounts of candy. Using the same line at a few other houses gave similar results.Not a bad way to end my last year of trick or treating!

My next door neighbor was known as "The Awesome House" on Halloween, and I'll tell you why.

She gave out something far better than "fun size" candy. Better than normal size. Better than even King Size. Better than money.

Pixie Sticks. Three-foot long, marching band leader sized, Pixie Sticks. To this day I still don't know where or how she gets them (she still hands them out). I have only ever seen such large Pixie Sticks at her house, and at a single amusement park that is no longer in operation. These Pixie Sticks are the stuff weeeknd-long sugar benders are made of.

When I was twelve, I dressed for Halloween as I always do. I was Dracula, but that's inconsequential. What matters is that, like all kids, I'd do the neighbors last because they knew me, it would be the end of the night, and I'd get the fabled "bonus candy" that parents hand out to get rid of the leftovers.

This neighbor gave me not one, not two, but THREE band major-sized Pixie Sticks.

Over the following Thanksgiving, I downed a single one of them in one sitting. I marathon'd, and beat, Zelda. Neil's Legend hasn't got shit on mine.

My best & worst Halloween moments? Two middle school memories from the good ol' 90's come to mind: the year I was a dead hippie and the year I was a goth. Hippie fashion was in, so I got myself zombie makeup and a t-shirt that had the yellow "Have a Nice Day" smiley face with an axe going through it's head,spurting blood. I kept that shirt for years and even wore it to church. My goth costume didn't go over very well because no one at my school knew what "gothic" was . . . heck, not even I fully understood the implications of that tiny cat o' nine tails I was carrying around, plus the fishnet stockings. Comic book & video game art taught me these were the trappings of a female badass, but I think I just came across as morbidly awkward. Hooray for adolescence!! O.o

My best memory was the year I dressed as Robocop. It was actually a pretty great costume, with a big silvery cloth breastplate and painted athletic pads for armor.

Anyway, on my block there was this cheap bastard of a guy who bore a striking resemblance to Kurtwood Smith. So of course, once we arrive at his house, I start interrogating him in my best Peter Weller voice, asking him if he's Clarence Boddicker and what he knows about Dick Jones. Bear in mind I was ten years old at the time.

He look perplexed and rather afraid so he threw me a few extra candies and quickly closed the door. Ahh, the joy of scaring people on Halloween.

I guess I was about nine or ten years old the year my mom decided to dress me up as... a clown!!! I actually remember thinking, "What the fuck?" Looking back, I think she still saw me as her "little boy" and didn't get that she had decided to dress me up in the world's lamest costume.

I looked in the mirror before we left to go to my school's carnival and, sure enough, a dumb-ass looking clown is staring back at me, complete with a jokeresque, painted on smile and the stupid red nose.

I wanted to get through the carnival as soon as possible, both to keep from seeing my friends, but also so I could go trick or treating, but it was not to be. My mom came up to me at the first carnival booth and asked me why I kept itching my head, took a good look at my hair underneath my stupid rainbow wig, and realized that I had lice.

So I got to spend the rest of Halloween in the bathroom with that turpentine-smelling shit that kills lice and my mom running a comb through my hair over and over again (which hurt). My hair smelled like an old lawn mower for about a week.

My best was my first Halloween in the states. I was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle fanatic back in the day. I got my costume as Jamesway . It was a crappy vinyl jumper with a tie back string and a plastic mask. I also had the dress up playset so I added that to the costume also. It was great, I rode my bike all around the neighborhood going door to door. So Mnay happy faces. Things were simpler back than. I saw zorros and fairies and draculas and all sorts of ninjas. I Fell in love with the holiday.

Back in '88 I dated a girl whose father was an oral surgeon. For whatever inadequately explained reason, he had a 5-gallon bucket in his garage that was almost full of extracted teeth. Some still had fillings, some had dried meat attached to the roots. Freaky.

Anyway, one time I hooked a handful of teeth out of the bucket, meaning to drill them and make a necklace. I never got around to it, but that year for halloween I gave 'em out instead of candy. I did it quick, so the kids couldn't see what it was, they only knew that it made a satisfying THUNK as it hit the inside of their bag.

To this day, I still giggle myself silly at the thought of parents dumping out the bags to inspect the candy (as my parents did) before letting the kids eat any of it, and coming across a tooth.

Best: Today, my Japanese class had an extra-credit opportunity party. There was a costume contest. I was Han Solo, consisting of a dress shirt, dress pants, my favorite fleece vest that I always wear because it can fit all my stuff in it, and a broken squirt gun.(other possibilities included Shinji Ikari(dress shirt, undershirt, dress pants, and whiny attitude) and Al Di Meola(same as Solo with a fake beard and fake Les Paul)). We watched The Great Horror Family, a Japanese TV show that was a mix of Reaper and... uh... Arrested Development comes to mind, but I'm not sure it's that apt of a description. Anyways, there was food, candy, and Mountain Dew. When It was time to announce the competitors in the costume contest, we got in a line and presented our costumes one by one. When it was my turn, I had a sucker, a mountain Dew, and my squirt gun on my person. I went up, took the sucker out of my mouth,(I had it in there like a cigarette) and said, "I'm Han Solo. DEATH TO THE EMPIRE!"

My teacher was dressed as Vader.

I did not win. I did not get 2nd, 3rd, 4th, or 5th place. no other places were announced. Their(the people who got 1st,2nd, yadda, yadda...) costumes were better. It was fun and I accept defeat gracefully.

I also dressed as the titular(I know it's technically incorrect, but I am immature enough to giggle at it, so I'll say it.) Guitar Hero one time for a church thing (I have also been Brain Cell Guy (not Brain Guy/Observer), the man so smart, he has an extra brain cell growing out of his head). Those were fun, too.

Went to a club with some friends with a Star Wars theme. We had Anakin, Yoda, Jango Fett, Obi-wan and myself as Chewbacca. Apparently ladies love Chewie cause I was getting danced with and hit on almost all night long and I never actually took off the mask.

Cut to afterwards in the parking lot. We mostly had a great time except for Jango whose gunbelt broke, when we arrive at my car and find it broken into. The next 2 hours were spent at a police station filing a report. I lost $100, my jacket and my cellphone, Jango lost $200, his jacket, his cell and his keys and Obi-wan lost his Jacket.

It started out awesome but it just ended very poorly. Ah well, at least I have a picture of Chewie grinding with Snow White.

Best and worst... Admitting to my significant other that becAuse of the heavy snow here we could finall realize my core need to have a recreation of an Alfred Packer campsite, complete with body parts spread in the snow, in our front yard... To have the hipsters laugh and the gangsters go "damn crazy white guy..." and then the laugh from my significant other that turned to nervous when she realized I had thought long and hard about this. And then the straight up damn you are nuts when I said I thoughr we should get the supplies for this as well as supplies for the recreation of the soccer team Andes plane crash in another part of our lawn to be installed on any snowy Halloween.

The time I bought a 1939 unexpurgated edition of Mein Kampf to complete my outfit from The Producers. Yes really.

The time I went door to door in my regular clothes saying I was going as myself, as I was already scary. I should mention I was 17.

You can decide which of my two entries is the Best Story and Worst Story. I will never tell.

this is a story of a boy desperate for a costume.

It was 1997 and I was 10 years old. For the whole month of October my friends were pestering me with what my costume was going to be. I'd always tell them something different, like i was going to be batman and then the next day I'd tell them i'm going as spiderman, etc. During that year my parents had a lot to worry about than their kid's costume for halloween (being in a 3rd world country). So when the day came and I still didnt have my costume, I was going a little bit desperate. My 10yr old heart couldn't take the fact that i was going to my friends house without a costume. I was panicking, I took a look around the house and I still couldn't put together anything. On the car ride to my friend's house we passed by a decrepit neighborhood filled with bums and that got my noggin' thinking. As soon as I got down the car and my mom left. I went straight to the empty lot by my friends house. I started rolling on the ground to get that dirty hobo look. I ripped my new shirt and smeared what I assumed was mud onto my face and my shirt. I was completely messed up. I walked straight into my friends house all proud of what i had accomplished. When my friend saw me he said "is that supposed to be batman?" and I answered "PHSSff! Batman is old news I'M A SQUATTER(hobo)!" His mom came in and started screaming, part laughter part anger. Behind me was a trail of mud all over the marble floor of her house and she sent me up to get cleaned up but not before they took pictures of my "costume" I'm still friends with the dude and every GOD DAMNED HALLOWEEN HE WOULD TELL THAT STORY OVER AND OVER.

One year I was dressed as Mimi from The Drew Carey Show, gawdy blue eye makeup, very uncomfortable womens heals, short blonde curly wig, 2 grapefruits in nylon stockings slung around my neck for boobs and an hideously tacky moo-moo (but is there really such a thing as a tasteful moo-moo?) that I had picked up at a second hand store.

The night was young and me and my friend were racing from house to house, always trying to be the first one to ring the doorbell. I'm a dude and running in a long billowy dress in heals is no easy task, yet I managed to get to almost every door first.

We neared the "good" house, as we had found out from previous Halloweens, where the treats were in the form of full sized chocolate bars, cans of pop and other worthy goodies. Every fat kid who had a sugar habbit knew about this house so we rushed on to claim our bounty before it was all gone.

Instead of acting as a team, we fought our way up the walkway, pushing, hitting, anything to be first in the possibility there was only one item left. We were just near the steps to the door when my dress had gotten under my shoe and I had begun to lose my balance. My "friend" then took the oppertunity to push me off to the side.

I fell onto their jack-o-lantern and took its face off. My polyester moo-moo then caught on fire due to the now open flame from the candle. I had to rip off the burning dress which was the only thing i was wearing underneath other than my undies. The flames quickly died, I stood there in my underwear, a wig, blue eye shadow, produce in stockings around my neck and pink heals. That was it.

The woman gave me extra candy and I headed home. My friend continued, never shared his candy and told everyone at school what had happened. but it was ok, cause the next time I saw him I stole his Gameboy :)

Worst- We were pretty poor growing up and halloween never seemed a real central thing to my parents. Thus I was often fending for myself for costumes. So five years, yes five years in a row, I went as a mexican. I had a sombrero my grandparents had got in New Mexico on a trip once and a indian blanket they had gotten there as well. I drapped the blanket over my shoulder and wore the sombrero. That was my costume from 8-12.

Best: I have a lot of great memories of Halloween, but last year was easily the best. First, in addition to being a geek, I'm also a big football fan. Because I hang out with geeks, no one I knew really shared in this interest. During an RPG session in June, someone asked what people were going to be for Halloween. I mentioned I was probably just going to go as a linebacker again, because I had the stuff (and no money) and sporting gear stores are usually the only ones with stuff that'll fit (I'm 6'6 and big). And one of the girls there who had been brought into the group by her boyfriend, but was fast becoming a gamer mentioned being a big football fan.
So when the season rolled around, we started hanging out Saturdays and Sundays. No big deal, just getting together to watch the games.
Then they broke up in August. This was bad and awkward, as they were discussing marriage. She considered leaving the group, due to the awkwardness. But ultimately, she worked things out enough that she stuck around, partly to keep up with the football weekends. Still, just out of a serious relationship, no big deal. Just football buddies.
Halloween rolls around. She'd had plans, but they were all with her ex's friends. So she came over to watch movies and eventually go to a party with us. Somehow during the Addams Family, we ended up snuggled up. About halfway through the movie she kissed me. As of tomorrow, it'll be one year and going strong. so yeah, got together with my girlfriend on Halloween.

Worst: also pretty easy. I'd just moved in with my new stepmother and her family. Said family includes her 7 adopted children, 2 of which are African American, 5 are Native American. Now this is in northern Idaho, there's not a lot of minorities around, but at the time, the Aryan Nations in Hayden was only 35 minutes away. This was just a fact of life, and I loved Halloween, and thought nothing of going out trick or treating with my younger step-sibs (I was in 8th grade, a bit old to go by myself, but fine for out supervising and collect some candy while supervising) So third house we go to, out comes this guy in full Nazi regalia. He didn't say anything, just glared at my younger step-sister til we left. Yeah... trick or treating, and Halloween in general was pretty much done.

Back when I was Five. My mom made me a kick Ass Robin Hood Costume. I was going as the fox version "i.e. Disney version".
Well I enter the Costume contest only to come in 2nd to a kid who had a Store Bought one. Damn kid. I bet he won because his dad donated money to the school.

I dressed up as Captain Picard one year when I was probably 8 or so. I went to a party thrown by a kid in my class. The most embarrassing part? Not the fact that no one knew who I was or that the few who did made fun of me, but that one of the 4 gold pins on my right collar fell off, meaning I now was only Commander Picard, not Captain. I was mortified. I was captain of the Enterprise, not commander of the Stargazer! I pretty sure it was that that brought me to tears.

I was in the marching band in high school, so a large part of my Halloween night was taken up by having to be in a parade (and one year, a football game). The first two years I played bass drum, as the cooler snare drum or quads was a mater of seniority. So what would be the coolest thing to dress up as if you've already got to have a bass drum strapped to your front? The Energizer Bunny of course. I spent 3 hours making an exact replica of a battery out of posterboard, construction paper, tin foil and electrical tape to tie to the back of my harness. I could barely see since it was dark and I was wearing sunglasses which was somewhat problematic since I was trying to be in a parade...as was it wearing pink mittens for paws and trying to play, but it was a HUGE hit and I kept hearing people yelling out the entire parade route. It was by far my favorite Halloween costume ever.

A few years back, too, the night before Halloween decided it would, for some reason, be a super good idea to drive the next day the 10 something hours to Savannah Georgia, spend the night, then turn right around and come home. I still have no idea who's idea it even was or why we chose Savannah, of all places, but it was the most fun road trip I ever took, and we have a nearly minute by minute acount of it logged in a notebook we took turns writing in.

True story. For some reason at age 7 I wanted to be a frog. Yes a frog, but there were no frog costumes to be found. Why did I want to be a frog, I don't remember, but my poor mother had to go get a frog pattern at Woolsworth and sew me one even though sewing wasn't her thing. A couple of thumb band-aids later I got my frog costume. It wasn't the best looking frog costume, but it was my costume damn it and I loved it.

So we had costume day at school and I proudly wore my frog costume standing out with all the witches, vampires, and princess costumes. At first I got weird looks and when I told them I was a frog nobody believed me. Then one kid came up and said "Oh man that's a V costume! Awesome! Can I try it on?" After he wore it all the kids were clamouring to wear my frog costume thinking it was a V costume. No matter how much I tried to shout that it was a frog costume everyone was convinced it was a V lizard man. By the end of the day I just gave up and was proud of my V costume which ended up being the coolest costume I ever had even if it was supposed to be a frog damn it!

Last Year,

I was Working at My Church's Harvest Festival .....being only one of three Adults Wearing Costumes (other guys were 1:Reusing Renaissance Fair Clothes 2: Angel of Death, he was in the Skit the Youth was Doing)

I Was Guised as a Ninja....the only Cool Costume

Decked out in all the Plastic Weapons I could find (Pastor said I couldn't bring any of my real Swords or Shuriken)

Mask was made Of 2 cleverly folded XL bandannas that left only my Eyes Uncovered

Surprisingly only 2 Kids dressed as Pirates knew about the Pirates vs Ninjas Meme...a Older Sister Dressed as a Kimono Clad Ninja liked My Costume...But She was Jail Bait and wouldn't out of high school for another 2 years

AND THEN!!!...the baby.....

I SCARED A INFANT CHILD !!!!!!

a young Couple with their 1st born Son came up to my Booth and the Parents thought my Costume was Awesome and brought their son up for a Closer Look

I was placed in the Darkest Corner of the Parking Lot

and the little kid didn't see anyone as they carried him Closer to my location as my back was turned and I was blended into the Surroundings (Costume Worked Great?)

Then I Heard "Excused me Can We Take a Picture with you"

I Turned...

My Eyes met with the Child's Eyes

in a Kung Fu Movie Styled Showdown there was a pause that seemed to last for hours (more like 15 seconds)

He Then Screamed a Glass Shattering Shriek because he only Saw what appeared to be a pair of eyes floating in the Darkness!!!

I Then Quickly Removed my Mask to show I wasn't Scary

he then Paused again

Then Realizing it wasn't a pair of Eyes Floating....IT WAS A DISEMBODIED HEAD!!!!

He Wouldn't Stop Screaming

The Worst part was...

His Parents wanted me to make him Cry on Demand for the Rest of the Night for all their Friends Including the Kid's Uncle who was Dressed as a Pirate...I Declined

My cousin and I used to plan an elaborate pranks when trick-or-treaters came by our grandparents' house. One year, we lit their backyard (which was visible from the road) just so much that you could see a person, but not much detail. Then when the kids came by, I would run out of the house dressed as Death, and my cousin would have a fake head on his shoulders, running from me and screaming his lungs out. Then I'd cut off his "head" with my sickle, causing fake blood to rocket out of the empty space. The children ran before they even got their candy.

Mike and I walked into the party looking for our friends. It was a dry and windy Halloween at a large house overlooking an empty field in the middle of nowhere. Our arrival was met with a score of unintelligible greetings from about a hundred people. Intoxicated vampires... slutty Disney characters... a shirtless ninja... a girl dressed like Jesus...

“This is going to be a good one,” I said to Mike.

“I don’t know,” he replied, dodging out of the way as one of the vampires tried to bite him, “It’s only fun for so long watching other people get drunk.”

It did feel extremely out of place, not having costumes ourselves. I’d spent all my time and resources making a Harley-Quinn costume for a friend of mine, and neglected to make a costume for myself. My regret instantly vanished however, when Harley, in full, glorious real-life, bounded up and threw her arms around me. I stammered. I'd made the costume, but hadn't seen her wear it yet.

"Hi Puddin'.." she cooed softly in my ear.

I nearly fainted, thinking out loud that I'd died and gone to nerd heaven. She laughed and I caught a whiff of rum.

“You’re drunk already too?” I asked in disbelief.

“Yup, my sister’s bar-tending,” she grinned.

A short time later, Mike and I sat by the pool attempting conversation with the Jesus-girl and a pair of cats. We were beginning to get a bit irritated by the fact that all of our friends at the party that we came to see were already too drunk to talk to.
-Just a brief bit of advice: never leave a Russian girl to mix drinks unattended with a healthy stock of Everclear
(that drink should come with bail-money)

It was then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Harley in the distance ducking back into the house. Appearing to be the only ones who noticed, Mike and I followed after. We found her in the kitchen crying quietly.

“What’s wrong?”

She had no answer, but it became clear that the weight of the world was pressing down extra hard, as alcohol often causes it to do. So the two of us, and another one of her girl friends walked her into the coat room, shut the door, and had her lie down on the bed, where she promptly passed out. Fearing the nature of the party’s indigenous population, (and the fact that there was no lock on the door) the three of us decided to stand guard. Within minutes the friend had followed Harley into unconsciousness, snoring, and sort of half hanging off the foot of the bed. Mike and I sat on the floor, our backs to the bed, facing the door. After a while our conversation began to slow, as we felt drowsiness creeping up on us. As we teetered on the edge of being asleep, the girl dressed as Jesus flung open the door. She hadn't expected that there would be anyone in the room, and Mike, and I had been shocked awake by this person before us, bursting in so suddenly.
All three of us exclaimed in unison: “JESUS!”

I don't know which category to include this in. You be the judge...

Ah, the mid 'ninties, brought my adolescence and raving - that is, of the drug-addled all night dance party variety. There was a Halloween themed rave, so I decided to dress up as a 'scary clown'. (I liked dressing up, having spent much of my even younger years LARPing, for which you can't make fun of me, because I was 13).

I had a onesy clown outfit, bright red doc martins two sizes too large, white gloves, a green wig, facepaint - the whole bit. What set my clown apart were the delightfully odd, large fake teeth, and fake eyeballs that I put in. The eyes were silly dollar store things, little plastic white things you stuck in your eye socket like a monocle - but the effect was pretty eerie.

I sold the costume by flailing around the rave like a marionette, and grinning and leering creepily. I defend myself by saying that doing this kind of this is what being young is for.

On my way through the evening, a girl tentatively approached me, and stared, wide-eyed at my face. She appeared to be trippin' balls.

"Wheeere aaare yooour eeeyes?" she said to me, a little warily. I didn't 'drop character' as it were, I just hung from my strings, grinned more at her, and offered her a lollipop.

She welled up courage for a moment, grabbed and held onto my arm, then let go and ran away with her head shaking.

I was delighted by this, thinking that I was so otherworldly that she just had to make sure I was real.

Years later, the story is recounted to me by someone who knew the girl. I guess she was tripping pretty hard on acid at the time, and I was, indeed, freaking her out. Only, when she grabbed my arm, she felt just a dry bone under my costume, and not a human arm at all, which sent her spiraling a teeny bit closer to the land of the loonies for a time that night.

For my 2nd entry, I offer just a few photos from last halloween, when being on tour with a puppet show found me in the middle of South Carolina with an hour in a goodwill to prepare for the evening. I was kind of a hit at the bar:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/44172181@N05/sets/72157622700971472/

The greatest memory I have of Halloween came just a few years ago, when I was 22 or 23.

I had dressed up as my favorite Batman villain, Two-Face. I had the face paint and the hair down, I looked good. So, I went out to the bar with some friends. About an hour into the night, I went up to the bar to grab a drink. As I'm waiting, I look to my right and who do I see? Catwoman. Then I looked over to my left. Joker. Batman's rogues gallery had gathered together at a bar in Cortland, NY on Halloween night. Good times.

Alrighty, I have quite a few best memories when it comes down to Halloween. Mostly they stem from working a couple of haunted houses. So I'll stick with that. Working a haunted house is awesome. I loved jumping out and scaring people. The looks on peoples faces were priceless. It didn't even pay I just enjoyed doing it. Even when people would come in drunk and take a swing at me I still enjoyed it.

Now my worst memory probably comes from when I was a Junior in high school. I had just started a new school at the beginning of the year, and I was finally sort of starting to fit in. I had helped plan a Halloween party. Got decorations in line. Convinced the teachers to let us wear costumes in class. Helped get the okay to do a little Halloween dance. I had all the preparation done, had my costume ready and picked out. Then I got some horrible news, My grandmother had just passed on. Suffice to say I was devastated. So I didn't go to school the entire last week of October. So others enjoyed my planning but a personal tragedy kept me from attending. That has been my worst halloween to date.

No contribution yet, but I just want to say: Sonya, your Batman/Minnie Mouse story is possibly the greatest thing ever! Just imagining that photo of you all pissed off in class makes me giggle.

Best:
With an ice storm raging outside, my brother and I are bummed because we can't trick-or-treat. Instead, my parents rent three Hitchcock movies and we open the bags of candy we were going to give out. It was the coziest, most chocolaty, Hitchcockinest Halloween ever.

Worst:
One Halloween, my grade school tried to combat "offensive" Halloween costumes by forcing all of us to dress as hobos. HOBOS. Imagine it: an entire grade school full of sullen, oppressed children in ripped, secondhand clothing and sponged “beards.” That was the beginning of the end, I think.

Worst Halloween memory?... Jesus H... The time I explained to my impressionable, sweet innocent little cousin that Halloween was a pagan holiday. You know, Satan running around and other freaky shit... he was on the verge of tears... what's worse is that he has diabetes, so, not be able to do much trick-or-treating, he couldn't even enjoy hanging out in his adorable ( yes, I said adorable) gourd costume with the threat of unknowable terrors from hell looming over him. I didn't think he'd take it so hard. Honestly, he's pretty acerbic for a five year old. I thought he'd get the... you know... yeah, I know, I'm a huge fucking idiot. Sorry. The violence of my youth is self-perpetuating, it seems, not to sound to pretentious or anything... (sigh)...

Holy shit, after quickly skimming over this entry I didn't notice any initial typos. Try to make it a trend.

It was Halloween of '97, I was ten and I was Batgirl! I was stoked too, because it was the first year my tantrums finally convinced my mom to put the hotglue gun away and just buy me the damn costume. I was out with my girl friends trick or treating when I hear someone calling me from the other side of the street: It is Matt, the bratty, chubby, flamboyant and dorky kid who I've been embarrassed to call a best friend for 19 years now. And, prepare for a bitter harvest, he's dressed as Robin. Obviously, I ignore him. He keeps shouting my name and as he's running towards me, but trips over the curb and falls into a mammoth pile of leaves. My girlfriends and I scramble. He tells me the next day at school that he had to go home after tripping because he ripped a hole in his Robin suit. I denied ever having seen him that night.

I did not exaclty make candy forts but I did something similair.

When I got home after trick or treating I would sort out all of my candy and build a candy village.

There was a reeses house and a butterfinger house and pretty much every type of candy or bar that I had enough of got a house built out of it in the candy village.
Then over the next few days the candy village and all of its houses would shrink until nothing was left.

Oh the greatest one will have to be when I was in Kuwait back in either 95 or 94, because Kuwait dose not really celebrate Halloween my parents and some of the other parents decided to celebrate Halloween at the embassy were they work so their kids wouldn't miss the holiday. Now they way they set it up was to actually make it a haunted house and have all of them were costumes. The parents would hide in certain place dressed as ghosts,men in gas masks, witches and we would get candy every time they pop out. They has smog machines, recordings of scary sounds and every time we stop somewhere they would try to spook us out it was a blast, then to cap the night out we go to the theater(The embassy had a lot of places to relax at) to watch a movie, Batman Mask of the Phantasm, which while it's more a noir movie, the Phantasm was just freaky enough to be really scary when you're a kid and the parents actually really got into the movie as well. So we got a cool haunted house, candy, and saw Mask of The Phantasm it's still on of my favorite Halloween moments.

It's Halloween of '98 and I've allowed my painfully lame friends Matt and Alex to trick or treat with me this year. They both show up as Harry Potter. However, Matt's mom has sprung for the official costume with the Hogwart's insignia on the robe while Alex is wearing a blue, pointy, fleece cap with rainbow stars and moons, and a matching cape. His wand is a stick from his yard and he's wearing gloves and winter boots. Matt already had his own pair of nerdy glasses, Alex's are painted on his face with make-up. Upon arriving at my house, my father bluntly asks what the hell Alex is supposed to be. "I'm Harry Potter!" "Oh, you look like one of those Peruvian goat-herders." (Reference picture linked in my tag.) Combined with the sheer pointedness of his sad, fleece hat and winter gear we took to calling his costume: "A Peruvian goat-herding gnome wizard from Alaska." We introduced him this way at every house we went to. By the end of the night, he was dejectedly referring to himself as such when people asked what he was. Me, Matt and all my girlfriends called him this at school for weeks.

These have turned into my friend Matt's best/worst Halloween's somehow. Because, like all group of young, nerdy friends: we are ashamed of being associated with such lame, nerdy people. Matt didn't suffer Alex lightly, and his costume win delighted him to no end.

Sadly, they don't realy celebrate halloween in the scandinavian country I live in. But I have a story about costumes and shame that very well could have been a halloween story.

Every year, my school would celebrate it's anniversary where everyone went to school in a costume. When I was in first grade, the theme for the costumes were 'what do I want to be when I grow up?'.

I didn't knew what I wanted to be at that age, so I asked my mom to help me with my costume. Bad idea. My mother thought the theme was boring and, as the big Tolkien fan she was, dressed me up as a dragon.

All the other kids came as sportsmen and moviestars. I was a dragon.
It didn't even help to take of the dragon costume, that only made me look like a hobo with a dragon's head under his arm.

I didn't knew what I wanted to be when I grew up back then, but I didn't want to become a dragonslaying hobo. :(

I hope this counts as the worst halloween story, since it didn't even include the holyday in the story. That's really bad storywise, or should I say... worst? :)

Okay, so my best halloween story involves absoloutely no trick or treating and very little candy, but much caffineited soda and much Nerdly fun. Our little gang of miscreants had reached the point in the teenage years where you really can't pull off trick or treating any more, so instead we decided to have an all night "Call of Cthulu" RPG out at the GM's parents house. This was on a farm so far from any sort of civilization they think electric lights are a new invention, and kids that play RPG's really need a visit with some holy water and a priest etc. To get into the character of the game, we all donned cheap (and really lame) costumes, and speak in really bad accents. Around three AM, the game ended with only two survivors (one of whom was insane...Gotta love Cthulu). We troop outside for a smoke break, and freak ourselves into believing we hear wolves and a womans scream in the neighbouring corn fields. To this day, I don't know what we were thinking but we decided to go explore the fields, scared absoloutely spitless and all trying to act brave. After about twenty minutes we ended up heading back to the house (in the pitch dark), back to back, making solemn vows that when the wolves come for us we won't leave anyone behind and bravely brandishing our weapons (a plastic bat, a BB gun with no BB's, and a shovel they used to scoop up dog poop) at the creeping dark around us.

The whole of our high school may have looked down at us for being skinny geeks and freaks, but we knew deep inside that we were MEN and had faced down wolves and shambling things one cold dark night at the dawn of November. It made the date less nights and daily ostrazization a little more palatable.

Well this happened to a friend, but I was a witness:

We were at a halloween party and my friend was in an awesome ghostbuster costume that he made himself, it was the best costume in the party so we were sure that he was going to win.

At the end he was defeated by a guy in a crappy "Tamal" outfit, wich is a typical Colombian food: http://www.tucocinaytu.com/files/tamal%20del%20litoral.jpg

...It was a very sad day for every ghostbuster lover in the planet

Best: Last year, the girl I had been dating for about a month at that point and I attended the biggest Underground/Industry/Fetish/Halloween party in NYC, decked out as the living dead, this party also featured a live performance from Re-Penetrator (Lovecraft geeks, go look it up). It was also the night said girl and I told each other we loved each other for the first time.

Worst: This year. After 6 months, a new house, and all the trials and tribulations of a relationship, she breaks up with me in March, over IM and the phone, on what would have been our anniversary, through no fault of my own I may add. As a result, I can no longer enjoy this holiday on the same level I once did. :(

Back in highschool, our Magic the Gathering club (we were nerds sanctioned by the student body) decided that we absolutely had to do something Monty Python related. We didn't know what Python characters we wanted to be, but there was 6 of us and we had almost no money between all of us. What we settled on was the line of monks who chant in Latin and slam boards against their heads. One of the 6 of us had a job at a pizza parlor and stole some pizza boxes, which we painted brown and decorated with Germanic runes painted in black. We each had to make our brown robes, which turned out loose and fantastic. Even the hoods all stooped down to the tips of our noses so we could see without being seen. It was perfect.

When the time came to go out and trick or treat, we at first just walked down the street and chanted without going to any houses. After a while however, we didn't want the night to go to waste as just a joke to a handful of grown-ups escorting their kids. We would walk up to each house, chant a line or two, remove our hoods and open up our pizza boxes to receive candy. After an hour or so, we had a pizza box stuffed with candy and slightly swollen foreheads. We didn't realize that hitting yourself in the face with a pizza box loaded with candy would leave huge welts and leave some paint flakes from the boxes on our faces. The only hitch all night was as we were walking up to a house, someone from some bushes threw firecrackers at us and freaked us out. We ran away and didn't look back; we were nerds and knew how to avoid trouble but not deal with it.

Sadly, we were stopped by the cops. Someone reported a group of hooded teens in the area who were throwing firecrackers at people and exploding mail boxes. We were last seen fleeing the scene from exploding firecrackers. To make matters worse, our faces were beaten rather roughly because of the boxes and we had a lot of paint flakes on our faces. The grand Python plan ended in failed explanations of "you've got the wrong guy!" and after another squad car had pulled up and we each had removed the robes, spilled out our candy so they could search it, and sat on the curb while we were patted down, we were finally let go.

After I finally got home, around 11, I walked in the door to find my dad waiting. A neighbor saw us with the cops and told him we did something wrong. All of our faces are red and puffy from hitting ourselves all night with boxes that got incrementally heavier and the paint made it look like cuts from a distance. My dad wanted to know who I had been fighting with and I tried to explain to him about Monty Python and the monks and the firecrackers and the cops. He was having none of it and sent me to my room.

I had dressed up for a joke that ended with me beaten in the face, no candy to speak of after the cops dumped it, and I was grounded for a week because I was being accused of crimes I never did commit. At least we didn't get arrested, but it was still one of the worst nights of my life.

This is the last time I went trick or treating so I must have been about 14 or so. A small piece of background information before I tell my story. I have a glass eye. So my friends and I go to this house and the man handing out candy says "Well, there's your treat where is my trick?" So me being the smartass teen I am I say "OK mister", and take my eye out. The guy freaks out and knocks my eye out of my hand. The eye goes flying and I say "Jesus Christ mister why the hell did you do that? My father is going to effin kill me! You gotta help me find my eye!"So the guy his wife my friends and I start crawling around in his lawn and bushes for about 10 minutes till his wife cries out found it!" So they give me my eye let me use their bathroom to clean it off and my friends and I head off on our merry way.

I am currently sitting at work, dressed as my boss for Halloween. That means grayed hair, gray moustache, polo shirt, and too-short khaki shorts. My boss is in his sixties and wears these regularly, and he is not a skinny man.
Not only did my boss enjoy the costume, he gave me his badge to wear for the day. I am twenty-four years old. I work for a state government facility. I have enough time to check TR comments at work. Free candy. Best Halloween of my life.

~W.H.

Worst. Always Worst.

I was ten years old and dressed as Tom Baker's Doctor Who. It was the annual Halloween bash at the Elk's lodge so my odds of being mocked for my PBS friendly costume were pretty low. What I remember of the party was fantastic. Costumes, contests and games -- one of which was bobbing for apples from a large metal washtub.

It's my turn to bob. I step forward and I hit a puddle on the floor. I topple forward into the metal tub and in the process crush my windpipe on the rim.

My next real memory is of the week before Christmas. I remember bits and pieces of being in the hospital but not much of the details. To this day I do still have the trace of the scar from a tracheotomy.

I had to make up all my schoolwork over the course of Christmas break so I wouldn't be held back a grade. The Halloween accident pretty much killed two of my favorite holidays in one windpipe crushing move.

In a weird way I owe Doctor Who my life. I was told that the giant Tom Baker scarf had padded a lot of the impact and kept my spine intact.

Dammit. My mom made me an astronaut costume back in the day, like in the early '70s. I of course had to wear it before Halloween. And of course, I managed to tear the seat and back of the damned jumpsuit (which was like bright blue). But at least it didn't show my underwear. So, my mom put a sign on the back "NASA NEEDS FUNDS, PLEASE HELP". And every goddamned adult laughed their ass off about it. God, what a great memory, summabitch! Where was Micheal Myers when I needed him?!

My worst, in the sense that it was nerdery gone tragically wrong.

We were encouraged to dress up for high school and sophomores got sci-fi as a theme. I wanted to go as something Star Trek, but didn't want something too easy like a Vulcan, oh no.

ST IV was recently out on video, and one of the ambassadors to Earth was Andorian. Cool, I thought. I can use the uniform *and* be an alien. So I got my mom to dutifully recreate the uniform from the video while I worked on the makeup, hair, and antennae.

I sewed the wig myself from white fake fur. I made the right shade of blue greasepaint. And, I sculpted antennae from some extra Masters of the Universe parts -- Skeletor arms and Teela shields. I accessorized with pins and medals from around the house, and I thought it looked great.

Of course, nobody got it. Worse, a good number of people recognized the uniform, but wondered why there was a Smurf in Starfleet. Those who didn't recognize the uniform wanted to know how a Smurf was sci-fi. Pointing at the hair (not hat) and antennae (which Smurfs do not have) only led to questions as to what was wrong with my Smurf.

Though mortified, I knew that one of my friends, a self-identified Trekker ("*don't* call me a Trekkie") would appreciate it. Well, he did, sort of, in his own way...

"There's something wrong with your uniform. It's backwards! And the collar's not right. Does the lapel fold down? No? Well it's supposed to. What are those pins? They're not Starfleet. Andorians are a lighter blue and their antennae are thinner."

And it just got worse from there. The most inglorious fate of all: to be nitpicked to death by another nerd. It was "backwards" of course since my mom designed it from the video and made a mirror image. I thought she did a great job, and we were never going for 100% accuracy.

I did learn: always go as something recognizable. Also, people are less likely to criticize Klingons.

This is a true story and please, it is not meant to offend anyone. Nor was it meant to upset people when it happened. If a picture can be found to show proof, I will email it to TR.

My friend is Iranian; although, many people think he is Italian because of his facial features and hair. He is probably the funniest person I have ever met in my life. Unfortunately, his humor is often bizarre and many people find it to be offensive. This story is in fact, one of those times.

I think we were in 11th grade, 10th at the earliest. I do not remember what I was for Halloween, but I will forever always remember what my friend dressed as; Adolf Hitler. Mustache. Hair. Grey Suit. Arm Band. Every detail was perfect.

This was meant to be a joke, a spoof if you will; but as you could probably guess, 99% of the houses we visited did not find my friend's costume amusing.

Every other house we visited either slammed the door in our faces or lectured us. One particular house though made the night worth every bit of uncomfortable-ness and embarrassment. A small house, obviously very old, in a newer development, was one of our last stops. We were greeted by a very old woman, old enough that I can say right now she has probably passed on. The woman handed us candy, barely making eye contact. She did not speak until she laid her eyes on Adolf. When she did, her posture straightened and her face hardened. She looked directly at Adolf and spoke her native German tongue. She extended her right arm in standard Nazi salute, proclaimed Sieg Hail, and shut the door in our face.

Eleven years later, the memory of the costume and that woman have lived in infamy among my friends.

The year was 1983, and I decided for some reason that I would dress up as a terrorist for Halloween. I was obsessed with ninja movies and Rambo, and I thought it would be pretty cool. I had my Larami brand Uzi squirtgun (back then, they looked pretty real except for the orange tip, which I had colored black inexpertly with a Sharpie). I finished out the outfit with a black ski mask and some black boots. I was 12, and I had no idea that people would think it was wrong in those more innocent, pre-9/11 times.

I was wrong.

After hitting about 30 houses and looking threatening, but getting my fair share of candy from people who realized I was just a kid out trick or treating, I saw flashing red and blue lights behind me. I was thrown to the ground, frisked, and cuffed, and put in the back of police car. The police were not amused when I explained to them that it was just a squirtgun, and it was Halloween fer chrissake! It's not like I lived in a city, just a sleepy suburb, but they apparently thought that it was the Invasion of Buffalo Grove, and they were freakin' Chuck Norris. I was taken to the police station, hysterical and crying, and sat in handcuffs next to skeevy looking adults while they called my Mom to come pick me up.

They confiscated my Uzi, my ski mask and my candy, and I never got them back. They didn't have to take my candy! My mom grounded me for three months for being so stupid, and I never got one of those cool squirtguns again, since they stopped making them the year after.

Tim
"toy geek"

Best Halloween moment actually happened about ten minutes ago. I decided to be the Phantom of the Opera this year, and I happen to know a lot of people in the theatre department here, so this girl I know did an absolutely fantastic makeup job, like realistic burning and flesh falling off and everything. I'm walking back to my dorm and lo and behold there's a 5 year old girl there with her mom waiting to pick someone up, and she sees me sans mask and screams and jumps into the car. Sorry small child!

Best: Ben Cooper Jaws costume 1977... nuff said.
Worst: Ben Cooper Babar the fuckin' ELEPHANT 1976. Really an ELEPHANT? Come on MOM and DAD...Ben Cooper DEVIL would of KICKED ASS, but an ELEPHANT????? WORST!

I dont have a best moment but the worst was when I was under the age of 10, 7 or 8 maybe, I was sick on halloween. I was only allowed to go to one house, my grandmother. Every other holiday is cool if your sick or miss it. Christmas or your birthday you can still open gifts a day or two later. But Halloween is an event that only happens for one night, period.
Only Halloween I can recall specifically from my childhood.

Worst:

1993, the year of "Knightfall" in the Batman comics. Batman being my favorite anyway, I dressed in one of those store-bought costumes with the mask that has the rubber band to keep it on your head. It was cold, so I wore a sweater as well. Somehow, I managed to overheat, get dizzy and almost pass out on the street. As I lay semi-conscious on the ground, I hear someone walk over to me and shout "BREAK YOU!" like Bane in the comics. Then he walked away.

Thankfully, a neighbor noticed me sprawled out on the ground and helped me home. The worst part of the day isn't what I said so far. No, the worst is that I almost passed out a mere 15 minutes into trick-or-treating and my mom wouldn't let me go back out after I felt better. Worst candy load EVER.

Best:

Fifteen years later, I was writing for a financial newspaper. During the downtime, I entertained a cute young co-worker with mini-stories I wrote (just for her) in comic book-style about the adventures of our office-mates (for example, Bob breaks his ankle and has crutches, so I write "The New Adventures of Bob in the M*A*S*H ward).

Invited my cute co-worker to a Halloween gathering with my friends and she accepted. I dressed in a La Parka luchador mask, coupled with a cheap replica of the WCW Heavyweight title, calling myself the Office Heavyweight Champion. She wore something that could be loosely interpreted as "one of Charle's Angels." She apologized many times for not having an *actual* costume.

At one point in the night, she and I were alone and I started feeling overheated from the mask. Started fumbling with the shoelaces on the back of the mask to get it untied and off my head. She said, "Let me help you with that" and proceeded to help me take it off. With the mask removed, I said "ahh" while taking a deep breath of fresh air; at that moment she kissed me. We "helped" each other with our costumes for the rest of the night.

This has to be in the best category.

It was this years Halloween and I decided to be Martin Luther, the creator of the Lutheran church. Totally had full monks robe on, complete with hammer and the 95 theses. The best part about it, besides winning money and booze for the most creative costume, I also had a Catholic priest cross himself in front of me and then bow. As as Lutheran myself this was particularly awesome and is one of my best experiences to date.

I am currently getting ready to watch 30 days of night and then rail on a girl dressed as Batgirl (and pulling it off ), so that would be the best ever

Worst:

When I was nine or so my parents decided I should dress up like a sexy clown. I had a rainbow wig, red nose, white make-up and four huge balloons under my shirt and in the ass of my pants to make me look, um, "voluptuous." And, that's not the worst part. I was trick -or- treating with my six year old brother, going up to houses while my parents would stand way back out on the street (long driveways).

At one house there was a guy who told my brother and me to sit down with him on his front steps. I was a nice kid, so I sort of kneeled and played along. Then he started asking us our names, where we lived, where we went to school, all sort of things you should never ask a kid on Halloween while you've got alone in arm's length. And, my brother, who for some reason had not been scarred yet by out parents to be afraid or strangers, was answering all his questions! I didn't know what to say or do, so I ran as fast as I could with those damn balloons in my pants threatening to pop to get my mom. I was crying and scared and when I told her what happened she stomped right up that guy, told him off (she can be a real bitch) and grabbed my brother. I was so freaked out I couldn't enjoy the rest of the night for fear my brother had said too much and that guy would get me later.

This year, I decided to be Cyrano De Bergerac. He's a character I've always liked and dreamt of playing on stage someday. And with me coming off of a relationship whose biggest problem was a lack of communication... well, it just seemed ironically fitting.

Sadly, long-nosed Romantic-era cavaliers aren't quite as popular or easily identified as Heath Ledger's Joker or "guy in Halo armor". So I got a lot of confused looks and one drunk middle-aged woman asking why the hell Pinocchio had a beard.

So as I was finding a seat in the theater (I was at a Rocky Horror showing) and was sliding past a Magenta/Columbia pairing who I'm pretty sure wouldn't have had much use for a Riff Raff, I was surprised to feel a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see a vision: a red-head goddess in a Princess Leia costume. THE Princess Leia costume. The Slave Leia Princess costume, complete with collar and leash.

Make a long story short, Cyrano is her favorite play of all time. I quickly found out she was as big of a theater geek as me and that one of the local theaters she was with was getting ready to do auditions for Cyrano and she thought I'd be a shoe-in given how I talked about the play.

So yeah... the one person who completely got my costume... and she's a gorgeous redhead who loves the stage who owns the sexiest geek girl costume of all time.

And she gave me her number. WITHOUT ME ASKING FOR IT!

I'm staying in tonight. I was going out again to a local club's costume contest. But I'm still feeling tired after being up all night last night. And somehow... I don't think tonight could possibly top last night, so there's no point me trying. :)

When I was in 7th, I went as Rincewind for Halloween. Two-thirds of you are thinking 'Oh, that is awesome' and the rest are thinking 'Who the hell is Rincewind?'. For the first two-thirds, yes it was. For remainder: What are you? Twelve? As it would happen, not many of your comrades-in-age know who he is, what a 'Disc World' is, and why Terry Pratchett is awesome.

This is both my greatest AND most shameful Halloween memory. I had the most awesome and authentic Rincewind costume of any middle school student ever. This is possibly because the 4 weeks me and my mother spent together working on it and maybe because no other middle school student had ever heard of him. I even had The Luggage. A 1.5x3x2 ply wood box put on wheels and covered with some of that gaudy wood wall paper you see in old peoples basements and rec-centers. It even had stuffed baby socks hot glued to its bottom side and supported by pipe-cleaners so they didn't drag. And where do you think I kept my sugary haul that year? Some wimpy plastic bag? Hell no. I opened Luggages lid via pull cord hidden in the back so that folks could plop the candy into his waiting maul. 100%, free-range, hormone-free, Grade-A Kick Ass.

'How can that possibly be shameful?', you ask? Raise your hands if you knew about Disc World when you were twelve. Bookworms, look amongst the room and know where your friends are. With one fell swoop, I made it known that I was a huge geek. It was widely hypothesized at that point, what with my love of anime and my hate for Star Wars: Episode One. I had some good defense in my favour though. I was friends with our football teams quarter back. Most of my friends were girls. I had some nice ways of dressing myself that made the dressing code not seems so bad.* All those positives were instantly washed away by my sparkly-runed, pointy hat and matching robes(magic coloured, of course).

Incidentally, I have never really dressed up for Halloween again.

*-I went through hell for all those listed reasons once it was discovered that the aforementioned quarterback was gay, but thats a different story.

When I was in kindergarden and we were required to wear our costumes all day on Halloween, my mother had an elderly friend make a daisy costume for me to wear. While it was probably adorable to adults, the costume inspired nothing but ridicule and contempt from every child I met on Halloween, from classmates to Girl Scouts to older kids by the bus stop to feloow trick or treaters.

The next year, inspired by my viewing of Clash of the Titans, I demanded the right to make my own costume. Using a pack of plastic snakes and a bedsheet, I made my own Medusa costume. I proudly spent that Halloween free of ridicule, knowing I had won back Halloween from my (admittedly well-meaning) mother.

Not sure if I can tell if this is too much for ya, but boy, do I have a bit of doozy to tell of one year a few odd ago.

Now, my mom has hardly ever let us go out on Halloween. She's seen the worst of it, in fact. Well, one year, when nearly all of us were well over the age of 16, save for a few young relatives, she gave in and let us go, so long as we stay together, stay on the lighted part of the street, and all... No problem, since my brother and cousin are skilled in Tae Kwon Do, and two in the group were an older cousin and his new wife.

It went well actually. We had fun, laughed, got some good stuff, and even brought one of the dogs with a flower costume. No worriessince the cops were nearby with a news team for a later that night segment... They were down the block.

Now here's the twist. Near the end, once back home (remodling too, so this house had a few holes, but no one bothered us during constuction), a guy I. The nieghborhood approached us under the assumption that my brother was his friend's long lost son.

Just so you know, the guy was not only drunk, but a bipolar scitzophranic, if I spelled it right. Anyway, problems arised and this lead to mom, my brother, cousins and all the adults pretty much, trying to get him to leave while I was told to take the little guys (2, 7, and 9) and the dog to the bathroom, the sturdiest room by structure, close and lock the door and keep the lights off and stay quiet. Easier said than done... I'm known in my family as the weaker one physically, and the idea of keeping myself and three kids with a dog in the bathroom silent in complete darkness was tough enough without the 9 year old's terrible scenario predictions causing the 7 year old the nearly have a panic attack. To top that all off, our candy was left out of the room, so my plan to keep them quiet with gummy worms mom bought was shot down. And. The only light is a dying glowstick...

Here's the kick here: the cops took an hour to drive a block down the street to say that the guy drunkenly kicking our door in can't be arrested because he didn't attack US. Yeah... So they'll only help if one of us is bleeding out or something...

He came again, and still the same old bit.

Anyway, I should also say that due to the guy's condition of being split personality, he didn't remember a thing the next day, and greeted us happily while we huddled together in the car. Appearently, that side we saw only comes out a little more than yearly, and he happened upon us during that...

That being said, since he didn't and wouldn't know about that night under normal days, we couldn't hold it against him, since the underlying reason behind that night was that he thought he found his best friend's runaway son, and was simply (in his mind) trying to get him to make ammends and all.

Really, what do you do with that? After all, aside from a month's worth of paranoia and a bit of a story to tell, he didn't cause much harm. He just wanted to talk... But he was still drunk, and yes, he still broke one of our old windows, the one leaning in the fence, with a rock.

Maybe the cops should change their motto to "When Seconds Count... We'll Be There In Minutes."

I have no best or worst memory as it relates to costume wearing. My brother once hit in my in the balls with a pillowsack full of candy though.

Ironically, it was actually my best Halloween moment, because got to mimic Hans Moleman from the Simpsons episode with "Man Getting Hit by Football:"

"Oooooh, down I go."

It works on so many levels.

@ Kaoy

You win. You just do. You get major props for costume effort, obscure nerdy reference, and humiliation endured.

Cork-bedecked hats off to you, sir.

Think about it.

Other posts have drama and hope and dreams and sadness. But mine has a man getting hit in the groin with a pillowsack.

I don't think there's any contest here.

Of course at the time I had no idea it would be the last door I would ever knock upon while be-crying 'trick or treat' to the residents. I was 14 years old and my conception of Halloween at this point was: dress up, knock on door, get candy. Wearing a simple plastic devil mask, I was armed with a half can of shaving cream and a small pouch of eggs just in case no treats were available. My comrades had made their way down the street ahead of me, having declared the house I discovered as a dud.
The ground level door itself was located in a gangway between houses, a dark passage betwixt two warmly lit porches ascending to second floor entrance ways. With no artificial light sources between the two domiciles, and the sun having disappeared into the horizon hours before, it was an untouched goldmine by my calculations. A hidden untapped well of chocolates and similar treats, which would of course be poured freely into my stash bag because no one else had come to this place, and the people living here would be glad to give their excess candy away to the little boy who dared the passage way and cared enough to include them in the festivities.
So I boldly pounded on the door and loudly declared 'trick or treat!'. My voice echoed hollowly in the bleak empty hall.
A hushed whispering could now be heard from the other side of the door. I knocked again with a tinge of impatience; these people were holding out on me, and I was there to collect. 'Trick or treat!' I called out once again, though not quite as loud as before.
The door opened a crack and an older gentleman of eastern decent peered through. "Yes?" he queried in broken english, "What do you want with us?".
I presented my bag of candy, opening it toward the man. "Trick or Treat!".
The man closed the door and a muttering arose from within.
The door opened again, this time by a younger woman, though still a woman in her thirties. "Come in." she announced.
Starting to feel a tad uncomfortable at this point, I made to leave. "Er, that's alright lady, I don't need any candy." I tried to back away. She reached out and grasped my arm, and gently tugged me inside.
The home itself was a sparsely furnished basement dwelling with pretty much just the stove and counters that are a standard when renting such a place. There was a cheap linoleum dinner table in the middle of the room, around which sat an anciently old woman, the man who originally answered the door, and a younger boy who looked at me with terror in his eyes, I being an intruder into this stark reality. They sat around a candle and a bowl of fruit, each placed upon the table.
The lady who had answered the door smiled at me. "You are here for Halloween, yes? Here, let me give you a treat.". She went to the fruit bowl and picked out an orange from the small quantity of fruit in the bowl. The man lashed out and grabbed her wrist while saying something gruffly in their mother tongue.
"No, No." she admonished in english, "We are in America now. This is how they celebrate and so we must also.". The precious fruit was plopped into my bag on top of my candy. She then reached out and took my shoulder leading me back toward the door. "Happy Halloween young man." she smiled.
And so I found myself once again in the darkened hall way, though the last few moments of time had changed my perceptions from that point on.
I jogged back to the radiating street lights and caught up with my friends down the block.
'What ya' get" they asked. I looked down into my bag with a confused look on my face. "An orange.".
"Don't eat it, it's probably got a razer blade in it." one of them ignorantly spat out.". "Come on, we still have to hit the next block.".
I couldn't bring myself to do it. And never did again.
Don't get me wrong, I love Halloween these decades later, with the costumes and candy for the kids, and all that comes with it, but a piece of my childhood died with that incident, and to this day I'm not sure if it was a good thing.

I have fond memories of Halloween from my childhood. Well, I guess I should say that I have nostalgic memories of Halloween from my childhood. Being poor, I was always a hobo (way to set the bar, Mom) or one of those crappy plastic mask/vinyl suits with the character himself badly repro'd on the chest where the proper logo should be.
That said, I still fucking LOVE Halloween.
THAT said, my last few Halloweens have been fairly grim. My ex of 3 years broke up with me two Halloweens ago but our insane relationship extended for another year or so, thus sullying the holiday quite a bit for me. Furthermore, the last 3 Halloweens have seen me DJ'ing at the dive-ass strip club I work for. Zero party, far less money than on even my worst weeknight, and a mandatory costume for an even that no one even shows up to.
This year, by far, has been the worst, though. A few months ago I specifically requested Halloween off. I was either going to attend a giant party or spend the night quietly drinking by myself and enjoying the atmosphere of the night at my house with some spooky music and good horror movies. Awesomely (read: not awesomely) my manager "forgot" to not schedule me and when I reminded him the other day, everyone he called to try to fill in for me had plans (imagine that). Begrudgingly, I took the shift.
I get here and there's absolutely no one here except my good friend R who's already half in his cups. Furthermore, there's only one dancer, which means I'm making dick for tips tonight. Next, I'm informed that we have another dancer coming in, but she's some 41 year old plastic filled whore they recruited from the local escort mag, and on top of it, she's batshit insane. Luckily, she doesn't show up, but one of the crazier chicks from one of the "Lingerie Modelling" shops behind our club comes in and proceeds to go off her meds. Speaking of going off her meds, the ONE dancer on shift threatens to kill herself with anti-depressants, eats a handful of pills and starts going fucking loopy, not even listening to my announcements, staying on stage after I've called her off, going on stage when I haven't called her on stage and generally appearing to be wrecked out of her god damned gourd which isn't exactly how you make money when your whole schtick is getting naked and looking hot. Then, on top almost no one but stupid drunken weirdo's with zero money coming in for the whole night some asshole in an AC/DC shirt and mullet wig, accompanied by another idiot dressed as a stereotypical Mexican come in and try to pick fights with my bartender and I.

The worst part? We could have closed early and I could have gone back to my house where there's now a ripping Halloween party that is sure to be over by the time I get home.

Fuck this.

M.

Jesus... I knew I should have previewed that post before I posted it.

Uh... you guys get the idea.

M.

I don't really have any particularly GREAT memories of halloween. For examplle this year's festivities consisted of seeing Law Abiding Citizen (excellent flick btw) and introducing my dad to my plush Cthulhu.

But I do have 2 memorably bad ones that I feel like sharing.

I was about 14 or so. Too old to trick or treat, too young and unpopular to go to a real party. So me and a friend went to a really lame haunted trail in the woods outside of town. Our excuse for costumes? The Crow (Brandon Lee version) for him, Gene simmons from KISS for me. Facepaint only. Done THERE. By him. It was such a waste of time. Upon coming home and removing the facepaint, I find that Hellraiser 3 is just starting. I had never seen any of the Hellraiser movies before as my mom was a bit overprotective (though in hindsight I probably wouldn't let kids watch it either LOL). I started watching it (since she wasn't home from trick or treating with my little bro yet) and about 20 minutes in she gets home. She's willing to let me watch it but I have to keep the volume down becuz my Step-dad is sleeping. I try but the lousy drunk (who on a later halloween would get in an actual fist fight with my little bro and LOSE BADLY) kept waking up and getting pissed. so I couldn't finish it. It was another 7 or 8 years by the time I got to see it again.

My other halloween story is also one of my earliest memories. I was a 4 year old dinosaur freak. I LOVED dinosaurs. I not only knew their actual names(Tyrannosaurus Rex, not T-Rex) I could SPELL their names. CORRECTLY I wanted to be a paleontologist when I grew up(I could spell that too. I know ADULTS who still can't spell that). I wanted to be a dinosaur. A Stegosaurus to be exact. I can't remember why. Tyrannosaurus Rex and Triceratops were my favorites. Mom made me an awesome (if slightly bland, it was all one shade of green except the eyes and mouth) Stegosaurus costume. We went Trick or Treating and not a single person recognized what I was. If they recognized it as anything they thought I was a dragon. I distinctly remember screeching "Dragons have WINGS!!!!" at at least three people and ending the night a gibbering pile of tears because "people were so stupid"(I still kinda think that, I mean COME ON!) I did have slightly better luck with a lavender(never forgive my mom on the choice of color) Pteranodon.

At least no one thought I was Big Bird. ROFLMAO

Here in Israel we don't have halloween, we have Purim. It's essentialy the same, wear costumes, parade the streets, get drunk. The only diff is there is nothing in the bible about candy.
Anyhow, on Purim, afew years ago, I was still a soldier in the army, on my second year of service. And on my way to the base some olderly woman stops me and tells me I'm a cute boy and my soldier costume is really well made. I was stunned, I told her I'm a real soldier on my way to my base. She went silent and walked away.
I was honestly offended XD I might look abit young but to confuse me with a kid whose dressing up as a soldier!? I was made fun of by my entier unit for a week after that event >.

I'm sure mine will pale in comparison, but back in elementary school, I was a three-time, three-time, three-time first place winner in the school's Halloween contests.

First year, fourth grade, I was a Navy SEAL, and decked out in a bunch of my dad's military camo and equipment, along with other stuff we got in my size.

Second year, fifth grade, I went as Mario, complete with big buttons on the overalls, big mustache, and big nose. Plus a custom Mario "M" hat I still have to this day, though it has since faded.

Third and final year, sixth grade, I went as the villainous Saddam Hussein, who was the talk of the time, thanks to that whole Gulf War thing. I carried around a sign which said "I'm Insane Hussein, and you thought you were scary!"

All three times, I got first prize, and took a toy over the money, as it was worth more and my parents were only too willing to let me exploit Walmart's rather lenient return policies of the day. Though I do sort of wish I'd kept the Spy Gear (I think that's what it was called?) long-range listening device.

I'm only too sure that everyone else in that school was glad when I moved on to seventh grade in middle school.

@Kaoy: Dude, do you have any pics of that costume, because it sounds kick-ass. OBSCURE NERDY BRITISH FANTASY FICTION FTW!!!!!five

I thought I wouldn't have an entry...until last night.

I dressed up as a Silent Hill Nurse. I was damned proud of my mask and even though it was roasting I managed to keep it on the majority of the night.

So about half an hour in this guy sits down next to me and is telling me how much he loves the costume. I pulled down the mask to thank him. I turned away and 2 minutes later I get tapped on the shoulder by the guys friend.

"You have a choice you can go home with your boyfriend or you can go home with him""

Again I politely refused. The it dawned on me....

I hadn't taken my mask off at all up to that point. The dude wanted to go home with me in the mask having no idea what I looked like under it!

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

My favorite Halloween memory comes courtesy of my older sister. I was probably 5 or 6, and for some reason she decided to take me and my brother to one of those scary walk-throughs, but we were pretty small so she went through yelling, "I've got little kids here, don't jump out and scare them!" Well, one guy didn't pay heed to this advice and proceeded to jump out in front of us wielding a chainsaw. If he would have known my sister, he would have realized it is a mistake to piss her off, but he soon learned his lesson when he got a punch in the face and a kick in the ribs after he'd fallen to the floor. She then grabbed my hand and gently told me just to "step over the asshole" and we continued on our way.

@Segasonicdude:

That'd be a cool story, bro, if you would go back and redo the random capitalization and the almost complete lack of punctuation. Readability is fun!

@LealahLupin3, my niece went as Harry Potter this year! But she's seven. Even so, I think it's hilarious that when her mom asked her why she didn't want to be Hermione she got an incredulous look on her face and asked why anyone would ever want to be Hermione instead of Harry freaking Potter.

Worst Story:

I can't remember my age at the time, but I was between 8-10. I had been BEGGING my Aunt to take me to a haunted house, and there was much discussion about weather I was old enough to go. Mom was worried it would give me nightmares, etc. After promising that I would be fine my Aunt finally took me, but before we even paid for our tickets I was terrified. Of course, I wasn't going to say anything at that point! So, we got our tickets, walked up some stairs, and I saw a strange picture frame on the wall with a seemingly realistic portrait.

I just KNEW something was going to jump out of it, and when the actor opened his eyes and leaned forward to shout at me, I already had my fist in action.

I punched the poor bastard right in the nose and bloodied the hell out of it.

Everyone was mad at me, but at least I didn't have to go through the rest of the haunted house. I mean, that's because they kicked me out, but I was relieved.

Best Story:

My future husband and I started dating after a night of ridiculous nerd flirtation at a Halloween LARP. Five years later we have a nerd baby who had to suffer through a yoda costume last night.

My story might seem out of place here but I'll go ahead and put it here. It was my last Halloween that I went trick or treating.

Yeah, I was one of those teenage assholes that still go trick or treating even though at the time I was about to start high school. Our school was going to have a Halloween party (where they give you bags of candy so you stay off the streets) so I thought I'd dress as something out of the ordinary and dress as a girl! Unfortunately, even though I have two older sisters, there really wasn't much laying around the house that would fit me so my costume ended up being a frankly ugly green dress, with pantyhose and a cheesy blond wig among other things. I went to the party and hooked up with two classmates. One was a chick dressed as a punk rocker with whore makeup and spiked, colored hair (from that crap you spray out of cans), and my buddy who didn't even bother to dress up. The party itself was uneventful, though there was one kid dressed as a , um, black man complete with fro and God knows what he used to darken his face, and another dressed as a clansmen. Before you call bullshit, this was back in the days before political correctness (pre 90's) where people really didn't bat an eye at this sort of thing and figured it was just another costume. I don't even live in the south! There was a moment when I breakdanced on the floor to some Run DMC someone had playing. But this party wasn't even my main point.

No, what made this my best, and last Halloween moment happened afterwards. We left the party and walked towards a nearby park, near where the "punk" girl lived. My buddy, who was a constant horndog, badly wanted to get into her pants. Unfortunately for him, she had been wanting to get into mine and told him she wouldn't do anything unless I'd let her give me a handjob. Five minutes later I'm getting a handy in the middle of the park late at night with her hand under my skirt while my buddy suspiciously hid behind a tree watching us. I had to lift my "skirt" to accomodate the punk girl.

Suddenly a cop car pulls up the road down the hill from where we were sitting and starts shining a spotlight around from his cruiser. We had no time to run as we were sitting on the grass, so we just laid flat on our backs, while I wondered how I was going to explain this to my parents. The spotlight even went right over my dress, but luckily my shitty costume made me look more like the Swiss Miss chick than some crossdressing slut, and so I blended in.

So this doesn't become (more) x-rated, I will skip the rest. So my best Halloween was me dressed in drag in the middle of some park getting a handjob by someone who vaguely looked like a young Pat Benatar, while my friend punched his clown watching us behind a tree. The bastard never did get anything that night so he blabbed to the rest of the class about what we'd done. That was shitty, but the fact I forgot to pick up candy at the party pissed me off more.

This year, I had plans of grandeur when me and a group of friends were going to go out as Dream, Lucifer, The Corinthian, and I as Golden Age Sandman, all from The Sandman. But alas, the sales associate at the Army/Navy surplus store, instead of putting me down for next day delivery, put me down for standard, week-long delivery, the bitch! (Luckily, she was fired). The kid who was Dream had a rockin' costume, so he was fine. My friend's dad wouldn't let him bleach his hair to be Lucifer, and my friend's mom wouldn't let him go out as a serial killer with an eye fetish. I decided to change my costume to the Fourth Doctor, since I had the perfect hair, a trench coat from Sandman, and my mom knit me a 8 foot long Doctor Who scarf for Christmas the year before, but everyone thought I was a hobo. My friend who was going to be Lucifer went as Lucian, Dream's librarian, and everyone thought he was conductor, and the Corinthian went, out of pure and utter angst, went as the fucking Green Ranger from Power Rangers. To add to that, i had to go to church that night to alter serve, so it pretty much sucked ass all together.

I'd probably have to say mine was about seven hours ago when I came home, got on TR, then got on the contest page, and started to type about how some incredibly drunk chick, a mere two hours before that, had vomited right on my (open-shirted, I was Jim Morrison) chest. However, I myself was too incredibly drunk to even type. Seriously. I couldn't get past the name and email section.

So, yeah, that was pretty awesome.

Tierney! I think you win.

Also, I dressed up Tom Baker's Doctor this year. (And no, I didn't crush my windpipe and almost die. This is a best ever story, not a worst ever story.)
I made a K-9. For those of you who aren't in the know, K-9 is a robot dog who traveled with the Doctor through time and space for quite some time. He is awesome and looks like this: http://revolutuck.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/k9.jpg

Anyway, I had the usual Tom Baker outfit; hat, 22 foot-long multicolored scarf, long brown coat, packet of Jelly Babies to offer to random people, etc. But I also had a life-size, radio-controlled K-9. I took a toy car, cardboard, foam, styrofoam, spray paint, and metal, and I made a robotic dog. He had ears, and a tail, and a collar, and I put him on a leash so he wouldn't get lost. Basically, it was the most amazing thing ever. Even people who had never seen Doctor Who stopped me to gush over the little robotic dog driving up and down the street.

Oh, and there was the year when I went as the Audrey 2 from Little Shop of Horrors, complete with flowerpot, mask, and tentacle leaves; but that's another story.

Best: Making out with a girl in someone's laundry room dressed in my full Spock costume.

Worst: Mom always conning me out of trick or treating with various VHS movies. One year it was Batman and Robin.

Nuff said.

When I was 12 I dressed as Sir Daniel Fortesque from the MediEvil game for Playstation.

My best friend went in a zombie outfit his mom made.

Everyone thought we were Frankenstein and Igor.

Fuck my life.

Best and worst in one entry.

The year was 1987, during my sophomore year in high school. I was way too old to go trick or treating, but I was invited by a girlk that I really liked to help her chaperone her kid brother and his friends around the neighborhood while they collected their candy.

I could have just dressed normally, but I wanted to show off the physique that I busted my ass building up every day after school, so I showed up dressed as Road Warrior Hawk.

Yes, I gave myself a haircut (reverse mohawk) and painted my face with the trademarked red and black warpaint. I took some of my old football pads and doctored them up to look like the spiked gear the Roadies wore. I even pulled off a passable Hawk impersonation, vocal-wise. The prospective girlfriend was weirded out yet impressed, especially since I was parading around with my midsection and arms exposed. In spite of what lies they tell you, all girls appreciate beefcake. Yeah, I was in good with her.

A lot of the kids trick or treating mistook me for the real thing, which was cool.

Fast forward to the next school day. There I was, now completely shaved (I wasn't going back to school with a reverse mohawk, so I went for a Telly Savalas look) and the red face paint, even a couple of days on, wouldn't completely come off. It looked like I was permanently blushing.

Which was made worse when the dickhole of a vice-principal was looking for a patsy to blame some high school shenanigans on. Apparently some junior geniuses in the art departmnet descided to make a clay penis and sneak it to one of the home economics teachers. Looking for anyone who looked guilty, I was singled out by vice-principal dickhole, since my face looked flushed.

It took my mom coming down to the school to convince the jerk that yes, it was indeed face paint that was on my face and not the guilt of making a clay ding dong, and even then I received no apology, just a half-hearted "I'll be keeping my eyes on you" remark from fuckface.

I made sure to not have any leftover facepaint on when I loaded down the back of fuckface's Toyota truck with a load of pig shit I procurred from a local farm...

Disregard all previous "best ever" entries, Zorrt1 just pwned us all.

I remember when I was like 8 I got some really ugly purple monster costume and couldn't see out of the mask very well. It was basically just a hood with black lining for the eyes. I made a mad dash for a house after my sister and her friend just came back from there with cans of soda. Unfortunately, not being able to see very well I did not see the tree that I soon would have an impact with. My sister still tells me that it was like watching a cartoon because of how I hit it and fell back. I ended up having to go home after hitting my head so hard and never got that soda.

In the early 90's, during my junior year of college, some friends and I went to one of the Jay-Cee-run haunted houses. Alcohol was involved. At the time, I had something of an 'aggressive' personality, probably caused by being an infantryman in the National Guard and studying martial arts. We're close to the end of rather ho-hum haunted house experience, when some guy, dressed as a classic Jason--big padded clothes, hockey-mask, and chainsaw jumps out at me. I go from yawning my way through a mildly entertaining experience to full on (drunken) flight or fight. I side step the (chainless) chain saw, and side kick 'Jason' in the stomach. Hard. 'Jason' falls back, knocking over some of the plywood walls used as dividers, and lays on his back writhing and holding his stomach.

One of my friends looks at me and says, "Dude. You beat up Jason."

We left hastily at that point.

Best Halloween ever. Bragging rights for life. I beat up Jason.

And, if someone reading this had some drunk college kid go ape-crazy on them while working in a haunted house...I'm actually really sorry. Honestly.

Best: I was Wario from the Super Mario series my Freshman year in High School. Sure, everyone laughed, but it was fucking awesome.

Worst: My little brother was Waluigi the very next year. Fucking copy cat

This was about...I'd say 6-7 years ago. We were all at my friends apartment, candy at the ready(and condoms for the teenagers, because we promote safe sex thank you very much), watching horror movies and waiting for the knock.

Things were going normal for us, drinking too much, scaring the kids by opening the door really quickly and yelling at them(this was my friend DJ, what a character).

The problem was, we started to run out of candy. A quick look through the apartment and all we found were about 5-6 potatoes. So we did what any group of community minded 20 somethings would do in that situation.

We diced up the potatoes, and decided that based on certain criteria, some kids would get what candy we had left, and others would get potatoes. We took small handfuls, and would put our hand in their bag when we dropped it so they couldn't see it. Not one of them caught on.

There were two amazing side effects to this plan.

1 - Because the potato was diced, it would coat everything they had in their bag, so it would all be slimy and smell of potato. I'll admit it, we were assholes.

2 - This happened the next year. I was working at a Boys & Girls club, and when Halloween came around everyone was excited, but I kept overhearing people saying they didn't want to go back to the potato house. It took all my self control not to fall over laughing.

Best Halloween moment ever? Easily the year as a kid when I demanded to be Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. Lo and Behold come Halloween Minnesota is hit by a vicious blizzard and not only do I have the most appropriate costume, but the only way we could find our way from house to house was my glowing red nose (ok, not really, but child-me believed it). I also got to go Trick-or_Treating twice that year because my Mom decided to blizzard was too bad and took me to the mall, then my Dad got home and decided to take me out anyway.

My best Halloween moment was when my Dad suggested to my brother and I that we each bring along another bag, go on opposite sides of the street and each say that our brother was sick, but we brought along his bag. We each got twice as much candy and nobody was the wiser. Dad got some candy for being the brains. We pulled that scam for the next several years.

Goddamn, there are so many awesome entries this time. Zorrt1 is now God of the Nerds, Rob Bricken can GTFOutta here.

My greatest Halloween moment was when I was about 13, my step father invited me and a friend to "scream on the beach" (a sort of commercialized haunted house in my area). We watched IT for the first time that evening to set the mood. When we got to this place it was a segment of a strip-mall converted into a 'haunted' house, we could hear people intermittently screaming inside. The scheme of the haunted house was a sort of surprise tactic, you go through weird places and the people jump out and scare you. There were a few themed rooms, which overall wasn't very impressive to a few 13 year olds (especially when you saw the people before they tried to scare you). The last room we were in was completely dark and was a sort of maze, I ran into alot of the walls and realized they had assorted textures: some were sticky, wet, slimy, bumpy, and any combination therein. This got old pretty fast because there were also a few people that used the scare tactic in the completely dark maze. Finally we were nearing the end seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I looked for surprise employees waiting to dart out from the corners but didn't see any. the corridor funneled my step dad, my friend, and me into a single file line. All the sudden I hear monstrous roar and someone grabbing at my waist, I twist my body around throwing the assailant a backhand, hitting him square in the face. I continue walking towards the exit surprised I actually hit somebody (I could hear him yelling "ohmygod that kid just broke my nose!"). I guess all those years in kung-fu finally paid off.

It wasn't until 2 years later I was in high school sitting in the lunch room with a few friends and acquaintances, someone starts talking about one of their friends working at "scream ow the beach" 2 years ago, and how a customer couldn't handle it and just punched an employee. It turned out they had to go to the hospital and ended up with a broken nose. I realized that someone was me.

I felt really bad about it at the time and I still do, but now it's one of those things you can't help but laugh about.

~kung-fu Gates

Man, last night was the best AND the worst.

You know, one year I killed a hobo. He reeked of vodka, sulfur and had crazy eyes. I thought he was a demon, or at least someone in a really terrifying costume. I impaled him using a plastic scythe (I was the reaper).

You know, I was going to say this was a traumatic experience, but it was actually pretty awesome.

One year I made out with three different Johnny Depps. One from Fear and Loathing, one from Edward Scissorhands, and one (of course) pirate.

This was after seeing a talented local band who dressed as zombies and played covers of songs like "Rock the Casbah" as if they were dirges.

And I was dressed as a Klingon.

Oh, and once I handed out candy at my parent's home while eating pretend brains a la Hannibal Lecter. Everyone thought it was simultaneously disgusting and funny. Except they didn't realize they were real brains...from the hobo. I'd kept his body in a freezer for an entire year.

I hope nobody involved in law enforcement reads this blog.

I was 11 years old. I had just gotten out of leg braces the year before. Remember the braces Forrest Gump wore? They were like those, except much more uncomfortable. Forrest could walk with little trouble. I had to walk with my legs kind of spread out at the hips, on two crutches. For five years.

Anyway, this would have been only my second Halloween without being saddled by those braces. I had gone to a lot of trouble to make a homemade Frankenstein outfit. My mother drove me down to my school for the party (they discouraged trick or treating back then and wanted the kids to come to a school party). As I was about to get out of the car, I noticed that none of the kids going into the school were wearing costumes. We drove back home, I took off my costume, and went back to the party.

Nowadays teenagers and full grown adults dress up, but back in the 70s, apparently 11 years old was too old to dress up. I still have a hard time believing that.

One year my friends and I were escorting out younger sibs around trick or treating. I must have been 16 or so. We had decided that as High Schoolers we were too cool to dress up. One house we went to, when they answered the door, looked over and cooed at the younger kids then looked at me and said "That is an awesome Axel Rose"

I was not wearing a costume . . . . Just a 16 year old blond chick in jeans, a flannel shirt (This was 1990) and a backwards baseball cap.

My friends had something to laugh about for the rest of the year.

When I was in high school, there was a crawlspace between the catwalk and the light booth in the school auditorium. When one was locked, all you would have to do was climb upside down along some narrow pipes to the other space in the pitch dark. This task often fell to me, because I was always acting like a tough guy.

One Halloween, as I was crawling across, I heard a breathing below me in the dark. I wasn't sure I was actually hearing it, but it was clearly a deep, heavy breathing sound.

I figured, "Gumby, you're probably insane, get someone else to make sure you're hearing things right." I asked my friend Bill to listen down the crawlspace and asked what he heard. "Heavy breathing," he told me.

OK, so Bill and I are both insane. Let's ask a girl. They're not prone to believe in the stupid and insane as easily. So we got my girlfriend Jen to listen. She also heard the breathing.

So maybe we're not just hearing things. Bill convinces me and Jen to climb in there with him in the pitch black and see if we can find where it's coming from. About halfway across, we hear the sound coming from below us, and it seems to be changing in regard to our presence.

"Why don't you climb down there and see what it is. We'll stay up here," Bill says.

I tell Bill, "OK, let's think about this: It's dark and raining outside, it's Halloween, it's pitch black down there, and the two of you want me to climb down there alone and see if there really is a scary monster down there in the dark."

"That's right," Bill replies.

"Have you ever actually watched a horror movie? We might as well go check out the attic when we see blood drip from the ceiling. Any other day of the year I would go down there. Today? Fuck that, not happening."

We all agreed and crawled out, about to piss our pants in fear. We all vowed to come back the next day with flash lights and search again. It turned out to be a leaking steam line. As it built up pressure, it let out a blast that made it sound like breathing.

I'll never forget that night though, and the total pussy I turned into in front of my friend, girlfriend, and self. Way to go, tough guy.

My best Halloween was probably this past one- my college had a small party, with a costume contest. I wasn't sure if I wanted to really enter said contest- I mean, others were decked in Zombie makeup, one guy had a full-on, mascot-style wolf costume...I was just wearing a Legs Avenue "Strawberry Girl" costume that I bought off the rack at the local Halloween Express.

But I figured I'd just enter in for the hell of it. During the judging, we had to step forward, and say who we were in front of all present. I introduced myself as "Strawberry Hoecake", and said that they could see my "Purple Pie Pimp" after the party for pricing.

I won "Most Original Costume", and got a $25 Wal-Mart giftcard for my trouble.

My worst Halloween was probably the year my parents just decided to wrap me toddler-me in aluminum foil, and say I was a Hershey's Kiss.

It was the mid-nineties and I was a 11--a skinny nerd girl with thick glasses sliding down my nose, a huge hand-me-down college sweatshirt, the works. I was also an older sibling and very protective of my baby sister and her friends, so I was growling around like a very pathetic little bulldog when we went trick-or-treating.

Back in those days, it was pretty usual for one teenage idiot on another to break out a chainsaw and run up and down the street scaring the littler ones. When he came out at us, my sister took off screaming for the bushes and something kind of snapped in my mind. I went after "Jason" in a 60lb, elbow-flailing, fit of prepubescent sibling rage. He waved the chainsaw in my face and I batted his arm away and wailed on him with my bag of candy, calling him every name I knew (probably pretty pathetic). And I followed him and kept shouting until he retreated back into his garage.

In hindsight, it must've been hysterical to watch--a *tiny* little girl with huge thick glasses working herself up into a rage against a college-aged guy with a revved chainsaw. Still, it proved to me then that I didn't have to put up with assholes, and remains my best Halloween memory to this day.

My worst Halloween was last night. At a party a couple of weeks ago, I was at a party where a chick asked me what I was doing for Halloween. Unfortunately, I had to work so I turned down her invitation for some party that now sounds like it could have been awesome. And then two days ago, I got laid off. Shit. As I never got her number, I ended up staying home on Halloween and reading all the comments on this page. Entertaining, but freaking pathetic.

This year was, hands down, my best Halloween ever. My friends and I kicked it off this year around 1:30 in the afternoon at the park. We had a Nerf/Melee War [in full costume, I might add!]. Following the 4 hour long fest of epicness we went trick or treating--every one of us 17+. Lastly, we hit up the local theater for the annual, audience interactive showing of Rocky Horror Picture Show. New goal in life: to top this.

Oh yes!
My best halloween ever was the year I went as a pink Power Ranger. My mom made me the costume from scratch like she did every year, even making some pull over boot things. I also had my AMAZING Power Morpher from McDonalds (which was probably the greatest Happy Meal Toy I ever got). I even had pink Power Ranger gloves that had little buttons in them that made "HIYA!" and "SWOOSH" noises. Those gloves were awesome. ::sigh::
Anyway. Me and my best friend Eric had our stupid pictures taken before we went out trick-or-treating. I got a butload of candy and I was coming home in that exhausted pre-sugar Halloween crash when some asshole kid dressed as the fucking red Power Ranger runs over to me and pushes me saying, "Pink is for girls. Girls are stupid."
I didn't even know this kid, but I didn't have a problem using all of the strength I had left to get some momentum going in my pillow case of candy and slam it square into the center of his back. He fell and before I walked away, I pressed the button on my glove that when "HIYA!" and did the most awesome ninja kick ever.
My dad was so proud of me, he let me stay up and watch Walker Texas Ranger with him while my mom slept and we ate candy and drank coffee.

My best moment happened last night. My son is 10 and my daughter is 8. We were trick or treating last night and ended up in the same driveway as another group of people. One of the kids in the other group was dressed as darth maul. My son goes up to him and says, "dont you know the only good star wars are the originals. Dont you know any better?". He turns to me and says " i cant believe he would admit in public to liking that crap". My daughter, who remember is 8, turns to him and says leave him alone, he's a lost cause. I bet he even liked the new indiana jones". I was so proud i just stared at the dad with the other kids with this smug look on my face. BTW...my son went at captain mal.

This Halloween might have been my worst ever.
I work seasonally at a costume store (which I actually don't mind), but this year:
1. I worked every day for two weeks for at least an hour over the time I was scheduled WHILE going to school full-time during the day
2. I ended up with a flu and fever; the only exception to #1 above was when I had to go home and ran a 102 fever, ironically the day that the owner/our boss was passing out gift certificates for suggesting accessories for costumes (which I always did anyway), and finally
3. I became pregnant around this time, despite being on the pill, and, by Halloween, was in the tired/achy/nauseated stage.
Add to all this that we didn't have money for my dream costume this year and I didn't get a single piece of candy when I finally dragged myself home after dark on the 31st, the busiest day of the year.
Happy Bloody Halloween, everyone.

@ Katie

You are my hero.

@ jolly bitch
great, an elitist hipster ten year old.

I'm glad the deadline is 12:01pm! I thought I actually missed the deadline - hoooooooray!

I grew up in a total suburban neighbourhood. While this was not a bad thing, kids can be total douchebags when fireworks are freely accessible.

Me being a paranoid mess, especially with local urban legends of the kid who stuck rockets up cats' asses, it was incredibly important that I locked the cat in my bedroom each Halloween.

My cat was not particularly friendly, and every year he got increasingly furious with me for locking him up.

Fast forward to Halloween 96 (give or take a year), I was dressed up as Ranma, and a really good friend was dressed up as Ryoga. (Laugh if you must, but I had a bad-ass Ranma wig... too bad I was the little known fat white kid version of Ranma). We tried and tried but could not catch my cat to put him in my makeshift jail. Finally we trapped him and he was cowering on the stairs.

For whatever reason, despite the cat hissing and growling at us, Ryoga decided to crouch on a lower stair ... EYE LEVEL with the cat ..... and start poking him while making funny noises.

While traumatic at the time, the blood all over his face from the cat scratching him, millimeters below his eye, was pretty damn awesome. Totally went with the costume too, it was like we were just in some crazy martial arts tournament.

The cat was placed in jail shortly thereafter.

I think my both greatest and most shameful Halloween moment had to have been the year in middle school that I dressed as Jar Jar Binks. In my defense, I had a falling out days before Halloween with my school pals and I was willing to dress as the token fool if it meant I'd be with them as opposed to staying at home.

I went ahead and spent all my savings at the time on a high-detail latex mask and just half-assed the rest of the outfit. It was a really last-minute thing. A neon green wind-breaker with a neon orange hunting vest on top, a blue striped shirt underneath, blue jeans topped with black sneakers...This is what a Gungan of the future would wear.

Ultimately, I was ditched in the most horrible fashion possible. When I showed up to the party, somebody shoved me off the house steps into the wet grass. I went trick-or-treating by myself.

It all ended in me getting mauled by a small gang of children dressed as Darth Maul as their parents watched on, smiling. I, a nonbeliever in worst possible situations, began laughing as well...

...Until I realized that they took my candy, they did.

That was the last time I went trick-or-treating before my senior year in highschool when my friends and I dressed as cops and went door to door asking about disturbances and taking candy as evidence. (Uh, this was before I realized that this was illegal...)

Dear Topless Robot Forum: My story is simple, short and naughty. My friend J. and I were pushing the upper edge of "too old to trick or treat" (15 I think) and still out at a time when many folks had turned off their lights and stopped handing out candy. We decided to hit one more block and then call it a night. When we rang the doorbell at the first house we were greeted by an incredibly hot 25 year old woman wearing a nearly see-thru baby doll. She was a little flustered and made some comment about being just about to turn in for bed. Her candy bowl (insert comment here) was on the floor and when she leaned down to grab a huge handful for each of us (two separate trips down) her negligee gapped enough to provide us both with full view of her "hidden glories." Eventually we recovered enough to say thank you and moved on. When we'd finished the rest of the block we noticed that her light was still on and quickly switched out parts of each others costumes to make a pathetic attempt to look like two new costumes (despite being the only kids out at this point). We went back to her house and were treated to exactly the same story and exactly the same show. Even sadder, we tried the costume swap again. Clearly, she knew what was going on yet...she gave us the same "treat." This time she made a big show about how she wouldn't fall for this again and was going to bed. Sure enough, as soon as she closed the door she turned off the porch light...and then the living room lights making the entire house dark. Within seconds, the light in the front bedroom clicked on and we were able to watch her slip out of the baby doll, spin around in front of the window, climb in bed and turn out the light. Best Halloween Ever.

This year I went to church on halloween night with my girlfriend. Worst halloween ever.

Worst (a two parter): The year my then-girlfriend (now wife) and I went as Slave Leia and Cobra Commander (hooded), respectively. Both homemade costumes, and both were pretty kick ass. Anyway, that night gave us two moments of great sadness: A) A guy hitting on my GF when I went to the bathroom asked if she was there with the blue KKK guy. This is sad in the sense that there is some fucktard out there that really thinks that the KKK wear blue uniforms with Cobra logos. I couldn't care less that he was hitting on her, but jeebus dude...know your history/cartoons. And B) my wife, who's costume was incredibly accurate, lost an "80's Female Costume Contest" to a generic 80s girl. As in, someone who just threw a big hair wig and an ACDC shirt on and screamed, "I'm from the 80s!" beat out Slave Leia, the sex icon from the early 80s. We were pissed off. Cobra Commander almost slaughtered some bastards that night in retaliation, but Destro bumbled my plans.

Best: This year, while I saw a LOT of unoriginal "Hey, I'm just going to throw a hoodie and some face paint on for my costume," I also saw several nerdy, homemade costumes worn by kids in the neighborhood. But the best? A kid decked out in a homemade Predator outfit, complete with working LEDs. A photo of it can be seen here (with me as my namesake here): http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/photo.php?pid=34029498&id=51800315

'Twas the best because it actually restored my hope that there is still a future for our kids.

A few years ago I made my own costume and thought it was pretty creative. I was an "I'm thinking Arby's" guy, and managed to make an Arby's logo hover above my head like in the commercials. As I walked around work, people would see the Arby's logo bouncing up and down above the cubicle walls, and it got a lot of laughs.

At the company costume contest I took second place, losing to someone dressed as... a cat. A CAT! A FRICKING CAT! How super original is that idea? NO ONE DRESSES AS A CAT FOR HALLOWEEN! If it was at least a hot girl dressed as a slutty cat, that'd be something, but this was a dude dressed as a cat. No creativity at all, all the judges just happen to like cats. Bull$#!T. I'm still angry about that.

My mom has sent me out dressed as a black ghost for the past 27 out of 28 years....

This is like plucking A+ episodes out of a sea of A grade episodes!

This series was just fucking WIN... PERIOD! I mean it put FOX on the map, for crying out loud! Who the hell cared about that channel before they aired this?!?!?

I'll submit this for a Best or Worst - it could be either. It was 1993, Sophmore year of college and I was into cyberpunk. I decided I was going to go as a "decker" for Halloween. I had the black trenchcoat with odd symbols pinned onto it, an old computer painted up to look like a deck hanging off me, and mirrorshades.

The part that really sold it though was that I had found this bowtie with blinking lights. I took the lights out and spirit-gummed them to my forehead and added latex to make it look like they were embedded in my forehead. It kind of stung but I wasn't sure why and as I drank through the night it didn't really seem to matter.

Later that evening someone offhandedly asked what smelled like burning flesh. I didn't think anything of it until I got back home and took off the costume and lights to discover that the exposed wire to the lights had given me good second degree burns on my forehead. I still have scars! D'oh. I should scan an old photo from that year.

Don't ask me how, but i posted this in the wrong thread... what the fuck?

How in the hell did that happened... I could have swore I clicked on the Batman link....

This is probably both a best/worst story...

8th grade. My best friend & I joined a group of people with our girlfriends to take in the Haunted House that had been set up on the nearby military base. It was several of those really large 3-pole tents they use out in the desert linked together...

Once inside, a maze had been set up for people to walk through. Some pretty scary exhibits here and there. But it was the very end of the journey that was the peak of the performance. All I'd heard from anyone that had gone the year before was that it was the "scariest thing they'd EVER been a part of"...

As we walked into the area, it widened from the 4-5 foot hallways to a regular sized room. But there was nothing here. Then, all of the sudden, all the blacklights and other small neon lights went out. Pitch black. My girlfriend gripped my arm. BAM!!! We all turned around, back towards where we'd just come from. Nothing. Just a lot of heavy breathing...

Suddenly, the sound of a chainsaw in the distance. But what direction?! A couple of people started to whimper a bit. My best friend says, "I don't like this. What's going on?!" We hear rustling and all turn back around again. A couple of the blacklights turn back on and we see something coming from up ahead in the room. A dim spotlight shines down from over our heads and we see a masked lumberjack coming at us. He raises his chainsaw as he's lurching faster towards our group. We all start to cower as he SWING THE CHAINSAW RIGHT THROUGH US!!!

It was a fucking hologram! And a DAMN good one too! My girlfriend pissed her pants and my best friend shit his. We were ALL breathing/panting VERY heavily as some additional lights came on and we saw the exit up ahead of us...

To this day, I've never been so scared in my life...

It was third grade. My parents had entered an ultra-conservative religous phase that would last 3 years. No Rock and roll, no halloween. But damn it the class was having a party it was my last chance as 4-6 graders did not wear costumes to school. My mother being a theatre geek had costume bits and pieces in her closet. After both mom and dad went to work I found a red hooded cape, put my school books in a Easter basket and walked to school. I thought I was pretty awesome. During the costume parade to the other classrooms no one could guess who I was as the cape was made for an adult woman and I totally disappeared in it.

After I got home I put the stuff back and my parents were none the wiser... so needless to say there are no pictures.

This year i was a zombie on the actual halloween date but on the thursday before there was a kegger. so i went out as a bearded lady. on the way home from said kegger, a car pulls up to me and asks me to come over. thinking they wanted directions i did so. then this guy asks,
"500 dollars cash to get in the car"
and i said "are you kidding me?! i have a beard!"
and he said "ok, 1000 dollars cash"

my best halloween was when i dropped a ton of acid and went to a costume party. afterwards we were walking through the streets and thought the zombies had risen it was the scariest halloween ever

I am laughing out loud at these comments. I don't think I can top these. Oh man, too funny.

Not sure where this one would fit, in regards to best or worst, I would classify it as down right wrong. My girlfriend's parents decided it was a good idea to dress her up as Aunt Jemaima when she was around 4 years old, Blackface and all.

Great post. My mom's birthday is on Halloween. Halloween was a distant second at my house.