By Rob Bricken in
Nerdery, Video Games
Friday, Nov. 13 2009 @ 2:00PM
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Well, I'm ever so grateful to TR reader Max Power for informing me of "Pie in the Sky," a brand new sequel to "Of Strawberries and Marshmellows," written by the same author, sonicmaster5000! It's short -- and involves no pooping or peeing, alas -- but I knew that there would be no better stories to kick off the new era of Topless Robot that another lesson from the virile, gorgeous hunk of a fuckball that is Kirby. Hit the jump and open wide, my friends.
Kirby one day inside his house in Dreamland he was happily watching TV when all of a sudden someone knocked on his door.Seems like cherry pie would have been more apt, but hey, I'm not the amorphous blob sex expert. Also, given what Kirby has done and had done to him in the past, should he really blush at the idea of kissing Ribbon? She shat in his mouth, for fuck's sake. But again, I'm hardly the expert.
Kirby: Who is it?
Mailman: You got mail Kirby.
Kirby: Who is it from?
Mailman: Ribbon
Kirby immediately blushed as he still remembers the moment Ribbon kissed him at a ceremony following the defeat of Dark Matter and 02. He finds that the mail was a letter with a picture of a slice of apple pie. He immediately reads it.
Dear Kirby,I love the idea that genitalia reminds him of food, rather than the other way around. "Her breasts were like melons, which made him wish he'd had a smoothie for breakfast."
I have been thinking about you a lot since I kissed you. I really think we can get together again sometime and even have a permanent relationship with each other. I do have a huge surprise for you. I'm actually on Popstar right now. If you want to see me please follow a trail of food that I told the mailman to leave behind. We are going to have some fun with each other. See you then.
Yours truly,
Ribbon
Kirby then goes outside to find all sorts of food along a trail. He follows it eating everything along the way. As soon as he knows it he reaches at the end of the trail and sees Ribbon. She was lying on her back and she has strategically placed whipped cream on her body. He sees her pussy and it reminds him of the picture of the pie.
He starts to lick the cream off her as she moans with every lick.Kirby! You're slipping, man!
Kirby: All gone!
Ribbon: You missed a spot
Kirby gives her one full body lick with his tongue wide and begins to concentrate on her pussy. So he's eating her out, and she can barely contain herself rubbing on Kirby and herself.I remember when I fell in love with my first fat cock. I asked it to go to the school dance with me, and it said no! I was so heartbroken I wanted to die.
Ribbon: I want you in my mouth!
Kirby makes his way towards her mouth, but not stopping eating her.
Ribbon: Tastes good, huh?
Kirby: mm hmmm
She see's Kirby's fat cock and instantly falls in love with it and they 69 with Kirby on top. Kirby squeals out of enjoyment and pops off in Ribbon's mouth.
Kirby: *pant pant* sawwyThen she didn't gobble it all up, did she? Sloppy. Writing, that is.
Ribbon gobbles it all up.
Ribbon: This tastes so good Kirby (with cum on her face)
Kirby: It does?
Kirby comes around and licks the cum off her face.
While doing so, he put his dick in her without even noticing.I AM BEGINNING TO DOUBT THE REALISM OF THIS STORY
They both give out a moan. He begins to thrust, both panting. Kirby buries his face in her chest not knowing where else to but it, instinct starts to lick, bite, and kiss her nipples. He begins to thrust harder.What? Is this anything like Ice Kirby?
Ribbon: Do it again like my mouth. Kirby remembers how her mouth felt and cums again inside her both scream with pleasure. Kirby exhausted starts to stumble backwards. His dick dropping out from her pussy and sees his handy work.
Kirby: PIE!
Kirby immediately sees her cream pie and eats it out.
Ribbon: How is it, Kirby?
Kirby wants to share, so he snowballs her.
Can it be? *sobs*
Ribbon is totally surprised.I AM LIKEWISE SURPRISED
She wraps her hands around him and leans forward. Kirby falls back and is now laying down. Ribbon makes her way towards his throbbing dick and sucks him to a rock solid erect state. Kirby twitches from the sensation. She abruptly stops. Ribbon climbs on Kirby and sticks his pink puffed dick in her.Man, just when you think the story can't get any sexier, sonicmaster5000 busts out a phrase like "pink puffed dick."
She again surprised squeals. They both start to move. Kirby places his little pink hands on her tits. Ribbon begins to slam against him harder and again abruptly stops. She then grabs and slams his hands against the floor. Looking at him with a stare of desire only a primal instinct can make. Ribbon proceeds to rotate while Kirby's still inside her and with her back facing Kirby, Ribbon proceeds to slam her ass against him. Kirby starts to inhale without knowing it from the sensation and Ribbon begins to flap her wings.WHAT
They become slightly air born.
The feeling of the sex and levitation makes them both explode with pleasure. They hit the ground with a small bump (little stars pop out) and they lay there in their sex. She slowly drags herself around to Kirby again. As they make out, they dose off.
Well. A pink blob ate his own semen and then fucked a videogame character who looks like a three-year-old so hard they achieved VTOL. I announce the new era of Topless Robot officially... begun.
72 comments
Comments
kenshiro said:
It's almost impossible to tell what comments are rob's in this one. Except you can tell because they are mean and sarcastic, and not written by some retard that gets off on Kirby
ClancyDamon replied to kenshiro:
Seconding this, I hope you can distinguish your own comments from the story better in the future. Minor complaint about the new look.
Also, I may have to start screaming "PIE!" at every female I encounter today.
Kayla said:
THERE IS NO GOD.
MaxtotheMax said:
I couldn't distinguish between your commentary and the fanfic, because usually I just scroll down looking for the yellow boxes. Damn you for making me read this all.
CapnSteve said:
Personally, It would be nice to have the commentary in a different color like it used to be.
Also: what is wrong with me that that was my first reaction, instead of the horror at what I had just read.
Oh well, I guess FFF really has made me dead inside.
Orangutan said:
You guys aren't the only ones, I always look for Rob's comments, and read the comments section, before reading the actual fic. Gotta fix that up, Rob!
Rob said:
The lack of quotes for the Fan Fic is just an unforeseen CSS error. It should be fixed shortly, so that FFF can maintain 100% scarring efficiency. Thank you.
ClancyDamon replied to Rob:
Sweet, the horror is now perfectly presented.
"Ooh I missed you, little yellow boxes! What fun we shall have together!"
SilentScreams replied to ClancyDamon:
Props to you for clever use of a deadpool quote!
Archefox said:
Again, the commentary boxes were nice and I'd like to see them again. And man! Do I love it just laying in sex, I could do it all day, especially if it's MY sex.
Rubyrose said:
I was laughing the entire time, [which means next week will probably like, burn], and I did cry a little.
MattK said:
Ah, much better.
The Admiral said:
So...pink puffed dick...isn't that an English dish of some sort?
I guess the best part of sex is when the little stars pop out.
Catherine replied to The Admiral:
Spotted Dick. It's actually quite nice, especially with custard, seriously, not in that way, but in the actually nice pudding way.
Also, so many parts of this made me laugh, I just...it's hard to put into words my feelings on this FFF....he put his dick in her without even noticing.
Sean said:
Pink puffed dick. A phrase that made me want to laugh AND cry. In the end, the story was too much and crying won.
BDLyle said:
At least it wasn't poop or babies. But I'm definitely not looking forward to November 20.
DrPluton said:
I love the new layout, and creampies are disgusting.
Stick replied to DrPluton:
Maybe with the new look, my comments will actually show up now.
Before, a new page would load but my comments wouldn't show.
Hmmm... said:
One has to wonder exactly Ribbon was gobbling up if she still had cum all over her face...
Ernest said:
WOah shit, just before this one i read the original, so double the marshmallow goodness. Is it me or does this doesn't acknowledge the previous story as canon? Cos i was expecting a proper sexuel (get it?)
Gunslinger said:
What is it oh god what have you done to me?
Whose responsible this?
Fentook said:
Reserving judgment on the site.
Eternal judgment for FF writers.
Lo Pan said:
"...instinct starts to lick, bite, and kiss her nipples."
God DAMN you, instinct!!!!! Thats Kirby's..uh...girl! You'd best step off!!!
Could I die now, please?
doc_ock_4mugen said:
Words cannot describe the headache I got from trying to figure out how they were doing it... but at least he didn't eat shit.
Chronotyrant said:
Ahh FFF what would I do without you? I love having a good excuse to drink heavily at my computer.
Boyle said:
I always thought Kirby was an asexual being...doubtlessly he would reproduce only by vomiting up his progeny after an overeating binge.
This work of fiction seems scientifically inaccurate.
Charlie said:
The 'PIE!' bit is the crowning glory of this story.
BobJ said:
Oh, who among us hasn't put our dick in something without noticing? Well, beside those of us who don't have dicks I guess...
NameofRain replied to BobJ:
Yeah, that's how I ended up married.
The Great A'Tuin said:
This is kind of unimpressive. Break our minds next week, Rob. Break them hard.
bookfisher replied to The Great A'Tuin:
Yeah, one have become accustomed to horrific acts of beastiality, snuff and balloons every friday.
Which is kind of sad, really.
renQuixotic replied to bookfisher:
i'm just afraid that things will get progressively worse, until we're reading about men having sex with their dead children's brains or something...
...wait--
Kurono K said:
"Man, just when you think the story can't get any sexier, sonicmaster5000 busts out a phrase like "pink puffed dick.""
I spat my soda all over my screen about 2 seconds after reading this.
Thanks.
nattacious replied to Kurono K:
Is that what they're calling it? Continuing the food/sex metaphor from the fic, eh?
general_gee_wiz replied to nattacious:
LOL LOL LOL
Thank you. I needed moar humor to fight off the overwhelming urge to kill myself while screaming "PIE!"
sal said:
"they lay there in their sex...????????????" The hell?
Alice986 said:
HAH! I particularly liked the bits in brackets... They're like some kind of fucked-up version of stage directions.
Selaphiel said:
That was hilarious.
DoctorSmashy said:
'I remember when I fell in love with my first fat cock'
Hi-freaking-larious. Kudos!
Poopenshaft said:
The script format the author used reminded me of this utterly depraved chatroom I went to once.
Great find, Rob. This was pretty funny.
Kotbo said:
What. This. I?
I have no words rob. I have no words.
The style of narrative is almost didactive! "Blank happens as blank begins to X." It's the kind of writing where the author goes "Fuck it, I can barely spellcheck let alone have flourishes and timing and narrative flow. I'll just write it as if I was reporting it."
aayjay said:
Weird FFF as always but honestly to me the most unbelievable part: "If you want to see me please follow a trail of food that I told the mailman to leave behind." Mailmen...don't just do whatever you tell them to. They deliver mail. They don't set up food traps. This completely ruined the story for me, I wasn't able to enjoy any of it. Sigh.
R3loy replied to aayjay:
Maybe the mailman was feeling generous after she let him smear whipped cream all over her.
Nightboomfer said:
It's Kirby, so I was kind of hoping there'd be vore...
God, how messed up am I?
Gleeman said:
"I AM BEGINNING TO DOUBT THE REALISM OF THIS STORY"
ORLY?
The butchering of the 'King's English' is what makes it for me...
Guardian said:
I always thought Kirby should do Jigglypuff. And make JiggleKirbs.
... I'm sick and have been laying in bed all day: relate to this as you would a nicely constructed drunken text.
BoredLizzie said:
Unless you are Douglas Adams, do NOT attempt to write a mid-air sex scene. In fact, while you're at it, "writer," stop attempting fiction altogether! :(
FireThunder said:
Oh lord, the reaction pictures. The face melting picture gets me every time...
pollardy said:
airbourne -_-
Friginator said:
I like the straightforward nature of Kirby's mailman.
"You got mail Kirby."
The Mysterious Stranger said:
Hmm... "Pink puffed dick"? I don't know if I should laugh or cry. I think I'll laugh for the time being.
On the plus side, there's no better way to usher in a new TR era than with a brand new FFF. Kudos, Rob, kudos.
demoncat said:
this is not only the first fan fic friday that got a sequal but also one where instead of the sex being forced on one of the characters they both wanted it at least till they wound up flying then they fell asleep from exhaustion . the new era of topless robot with out the fff being so evil still creepy having Kirby back trying to eat his lovers dry. but the sequal was tame.
Lucy said:
"Stars popped out?"
Son, bad news is, you probably have to see a doctor if that's happening during your passionate puffy-dicked love making to your lady.
Good news is, penicillin cures damn near everything, and it should take care of that, too.
Can't say the same for the puffy problem that you seem to have.
Cyn replied to Lucy:
They bit about the stars popped out was easily the funniest part for me too. I bet that's where they level up!
Nick said:
I suddenly regret buying that extra large super screen so that I can be confronted with reading this sort of horrors in high definition.
toplessnerd said:
Hmm, just what i needed to wake me up. Nice choice Rob.
btw, i like the new look.
Capsulesn'Coffee said:
ahhhh, Kirby and his food fetish. On a related matter I shall be skipping lunch today.
The Mysterious Stranger said:
And may I be so bold as to suggest that you don't play Kirby until you get the mental image of this FFF out of your mind? Providing you happen to own a copy of the game of course.
I made the mistake of watching "Tomb Raider" on DVD the same night as I read the "Lara Croft on Cannibal Island" FFF. I could not get that mental image out of my mind. Made for a... uncomfortable viewing...
The Mysterious Stranger said:
@Capsulesn'Coffee.
I screwed up the Reply feature. My last comment about "Tomb Raider" was meant as (hopefully) good advice.
Capsulesn'Coffee replied to The Mysterious Stranger:
Yes, point taken, I shall abstain from the pink one until my brain represses the memories(I'm getting pretty good at it(thanks FFF!)) of sex machine Kirby soaking in bodily fluids. Watching Tomb Raider after reading Laura Croft on Cannibal Island....good god man.
Steve C. said:
This made my god-damned day, it did. Sex God Kirby, may your reign be long, prosperous and filled with pie. (Or full of filled pie. Or... ah, forget it.)
Jed said:
Always good content keep it up :)
cocacolaoso said:
Wow, Kirby the pink little round guy fron the Nintendo games...a Sex God?!?...and Orgasmic levitation? flaping wings? Pie? Snowballs? Sequels?
Words failed me.
Rob said:
WHY I KEEP READING THIS EVERY WEEK??
Kara said:
Wow like the new layout...LOLZ I can't believe he made a sequal.
Ben said:
Mmmm, we like pie. Pie. Pie! Pie. Pie. Pie. Pie!
I salute the author's homage to Weebl and Bob.
Lee said:
I... got aroused. *cries*
Brion said:
Hehehehehe the last comment before me was 69!
Kirby is the biggest manwhore on the planet. I can only wonder what levels of depravity this author has in store for him in future adventures.
Max Power said:
Does this style of writing remind anybody else of "Peterotica?" I keep reading the story with Betty White as the narrator...*shudder*
