Fan Fiction Friday: Kirby in “Of Strawberries and Marshmellows”

Ladies, and gentlemen, my apologies for the tame FFF last week. Rest assured, I am admonished, although I certainly wouldn’t punish you for bitching at me by posting something horrible. No, not me. In fact, I’ve decided to reward you guys with the sexiest fan fic in the world! Because when you think of raw sex appeal, you, much like me, think of this guy:


Yes, Kirby. Soft. Pink. Gelatinous. The world’s most desirable fuck machine. Why, I’m sure panties and briefs alike are dropping just because I posted that picture. Author sonicmaster5000 knows this, which is why he penned this epic, which he describes as:

Ribbon gives Kirby a secret present a couple of nights after defeating
02. This is my first fanfiction and could contain mistakes, so please
no flames. I did this because I’m a huge Kirby fan, at least the games.”

Mistakes? How could any story about Kirby’s sexual adventures with Ribbon have a mistake? I say it can’t. Let’s get right to the good stuff, shall we?

Just as everyone was finished with the food, the Queen escorted
Adeline, Waddle Dee, and King Dedede to the portal she created while
everyone was outside playing. After waving goodbye to his friends,
Kirby was approached by Ribbon.
Ribbon: Hey, you don’t mind if you stayed up a while longer.
Kirby: Sure
Ribbon: The reason why I said that is because I have a special present for you and it involves doing something
Kirby then started to have emotions he never had before. He thought that Ribbon was asking for some sex.
Kirby, being careful to not spoil the present: Can’t wait to see it.
Ribbon: Ok then, let me go to my room and get the present set up. Meet me there in about 30 minutes.
Kirby: See you in a little bit.
Kirby then walked to the restroom for some odd reason. He then started
to have some feelings that he had never experienced before. He then
looked down at his body and noticed something that was sticking out in
between his feet. It happened to be his member. Kirby has rarely, if at
all, used the restroom. He probably doesn’t remember using the member
to pee. Kirby then reached down to it and pets it knowing it will soon
be inside the person of his wildest dreams, Ribbon. Just as he was
looking back up, Ribbon called for him.
Ribbon: Hey the present is ready.
Kirby then rushed through the corridors to find Ribbon’s room which was
just across the hall from the Queen’s throne. He then entered and then
met her still wearing her usual red dress.
Ribbon: Ready for the present?
Kirby: Yes
Ribbon: Okay then close your eyes
Kirby shuts them excitedly
Ribbon: Do you love me?
Kirby: Yes.
Ribbon: Get ready
Kirby: Ok
Ribbon: 3, 2, 1, open your eyes
Kirby opens to see that Ribbon had absolutely no clothes on and her privates were in plain sight.
Ribbon: How do I look naked?
Kirby: You are even more beautiful without clothes on.
Ribbon giggles: Well let’s have sex so that we can share our beauty.

For the record, Ribbon looks like this:
Yep. Come share the beauty after the jump.

Ribbon then noticed that in between Kirby’s feet his member was fully erected.

Okay. Kirby is a sphere with tiny nub arms and feet. He’s also nude all the time. This means if he has a penis at all — and let’s assume, for the sake of the story he does — it’s retractable. Or, one of his little nubby limbs has been his dick the entire time and no one knew. Which possibility is more disturbing to you?

Ribbon: Can I see that?
Kirby then sits down on her bed with his lap right next to her hands.
Ribbon then proceeded to gently stroke his member. She also kissed the
tip of it several times before putting it into her mouth. Kirby then
realized that this is the first time that any part of his body has
entered another person’s body. Usually it is the other way around. He
simply relaxed as Ribbon continued to suck on his member. After about a
minute or two Kirby felt like letting go, but instead pulled Ribbon’s
head closer to make sure that his entire length of his erection was
inside her mouth.

The “Usually it is the other way around” about broke me. Far more than the mental image of Kirby receiving oral sex.

Kirby: Do you want to swallow my cum?
Ribbon then nods as she can’t speak with her mouth full. Kirby then
humps as fast and hard as possible inside her mouth while Ribbon sucked
as hard as possible. All of a sudden, the cum is let loosed as a big
shot traveled from Kirby’s member all the way down Ribbon’s throat to
her stomach.
Ribbon: You taste like melted marshmallows.

S’mores, anyone?

Kirby: Thanks. Is your private hole truly wet?

That sentence only has six words, but there’s so much wrong with it. Amazing.

Ribbon: Yes. If you lick inside it and find a certain spot, then you could be swallowing some female cum.
Kirby: I bet it taste like strawberries.
With that Ribbon got down on her back and started to rub her hole,
encouraging Kirby. Kirby started to lick over it several times. Then he
found a way to push his tongue inside Ribbon’s hole and licked inside.
Ribbon who moaned: That’s the spot you need to lick hard.
Kirby continued to do this and eventually the female cum came and
covered his face. He licked it off as he stared for a while at Ribbon’s
crotch. It was still wet.

But did it taste like strawberries? DON’T LEAVE US HANGING, SONICMASTER5000!

Kirby: If I put my member into your crotch, will I make you pregnant?
Ribbon: If you don’t have a condom then yes. I want kids just as bad as you.
Kirby: Ok then I’ll go on ahead and hump you now.

And abstinence-only sex education succeeds yet again!

Ribbon: Before you do that I haven’t use the bathroom for a while.
Fairies have to pee and poop just like the people you live with on Pop
Kirby: Can you poop on me?
Ribbon: If you want to get nasty then yes.


Ribbon then turned her butt towards Kirby and then sat on him. He
smiled at this as Ribbon used the end of the bed close to the wall for
leverage. She then rubbed all over Kirby until her poop came out.
Surprisingly Kirby swallowed it all.

All Kirby does is eat things. That’s his whole shtick. I don’t think this is surprising at all.

Ribbon: You know eating poop maybe a bad thing, although I can tell
that you can take in anything without having to use the restroom. I was
thinking about rubbing the poop all over you and then take a shower to
clean up. I guess that’s going too far.

I guess.

Kirby: How about I cum three more times. Once into your butt, once
inside where our future baby will grow up, and once all over your body.
Ribbon: Sounds great.

Frankly, I honestly think that the place “where our future baby will grow up” is the most terrifying euphemism for a vagina I’ve ever heard.

Kirby then made sure that Ribbon was laying on her stomach before
penetrating her butt. She gasped but accepted it. After a little while
Kirby came.
Ribbon: That was fun.
Kirby: How should I penetrate your womanhood? Should I start slow and
gradually work up or should I always go my fastest and hardest?
Ribbon: I know it is going to hurt but please penetrate me hard.
Kirby: OK
Kirby then slowly put his member inside her and then grabbed her butt.
He simultaneously pulled Ribbon hard and fast and pumped in and out.
Ribbon: Please don’t stop.


Kirby: I think this one is going to be huge.
Kirby was right as he let out a huge amount of sperm into Ribbon while
still penetrating her hard and fast. Kirby finally pulled out one
minute after they both orgasmed
Ribbon: How about you do the same thing again and instead let me rub it hard.
Kirby: I’ll then pull out two seconds before cumming and thus cum all over you.

In you’re wondering, yes, Kirby has a stopwatch. He knows it’s all in the timing.

Ribbon: Sounds great.
Kirby then reentered her and went the same pace as last time. When he
pulled out, Ribbon closed her eyes and let all of Kirby’s cum cover
her. Everything was covered, her butt, her chest, her feet, her back,
and even her hair.

The fact that the tiny fairy is covered with Kirby’s semen on both sides: an unfortunate error on the writer’s part or just on of Kirby’s many sexual talents? YOU DECIDE!

Ribbon out of breath: I had the most amazing sex experience out of everyone.
Kirby: Hey I got an idea. How about we go to sleep together with my member inside you.
Ribbon: Sounds great, but first how about I help you wash down the poop you ate earlier by peeing inside you.
Kirby: Ok then
Ribbon then sat in a position so that her womanhood was on top of Kirby’s mouth. She then lets the pee go as Kirby opened wide.
Kirby: Yummy.

toht face melting.jpg

Ribbon: You liked that. Well let’s get some rest.
Kirby: Don’t forget my member must be inside you.
Ribbon: Ok then penetrate me hard one more time.
Kirby did as asked as the two fell asleep as soon as they both orgasmed while Kirby’s member was still inside her.

The end. I’d like to point out that other than the lead-up to Kirby and Ribbon’s sexy shenanigans, I did no editing. You just experienced the full experience of “Of Strawberries and Marshmallows.” But wait — the story doesn’t have to be over! There’s a note from sonicmaster5000 himself!

I hope you like this story. I am also requesting anybody who is into
art who is reading this to create some porn based off this story. If
there is a website where there is porn of Kirby and/or Ribbon let me
know as well.

I can only hope one stalwart TR reader comes forward to bring this marvelous story to life in art. I mean, doesn’t the world need — nay, deserve — a picture of Ribbon shitting into Kirby’s mouth? I think we all know the answer to that.