By Rob Bricken in
Nerdery, Video Games
Monday, Nov. 23 2009 @ 12:05PM
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I don't really want to get into the gay marriage debate here on TR -- there are much better places for that sort of thing -- but I do think that if homosexuals can't legally marry actual human beings, then people should also not be allowed to marry a fucking Nintendo DS game character. I would say the latter harms the integrity of marriage far, far more than the former. Thanks to everyone who sent in the tip.
48 comments
Comments
Nick Newt said:
What the fuck is wrong with people?
Batman said:
She is a female string of binary though, right?
I don't want no quir man-on-video-game-character marriage.
Wes Grogan said:
*sigh* Rob, I hate to be picky here, I really, really do.. but that next to last sentence implies that gay marriage does harm the integrity of marriage, just less so than some loser marrying his digital code of a girlfriend. It might be better to say that the latter actually does harm to the integrity of marriage? Dunno. Like I said, I really hate to be picky on that, but fairness and all that. Sorry.
Rob replied to Wes Grogan:
Wasn't my intent. I was merely trying to point out that even if that argument is true — note the if — then this insanity is far, far worse.
Wes Grogan replied to Rob:
I know it wasn't your intent, Rob, hence my repeated apologies. As an anally retentive card-carrying English Major, I just saw that it could be read that way. I wasn't taking offense at what you were saying, just trying to point out that it COULD be read that way. You've been very open about your interest for tolerance in terms of homosexuality versus heterosexuality and I've always appreciated that. Something tells me that in 50 years the kids in the world are going to call me intolerant for frowning on this kind of thing, actually.
Chris Sanders replied to Wes Grogan:
I can't see a world where we'll be seen as intolerant for thinking marrying your video game system is weird. I mean an android i could deal with but this is the equivalent of marrying a peanut butter jar.
Wes Grogan replied to Chris Sanders:
What? But... all the years of wooing and and romancing my jar of Jiff, you mean nothing is ever going to come of our love? *SOB* That was actually one of the funniest analogies I've read in a long time!
Evil Taco replied to Wes Grogan:
You're putting your own spin on it. There's nothing in that statement that even begins to imply that he thinks gay marriage is bad for real marriage. He simply said that people marrying video games is much worse for real marriage than gay marriage is.
If I say "eating a giant bowl of crisco is much worse for you than a salad" would you accuse me of saying eating salad is bad for you? An english major doesn't prevent you from putting your own interpretation on something. Anything *could* be taken badly and out of context. The only way to prevent that would be to never write at all, and if he stops writing, I'll be a rather unhappy little taco.
ninjaclown replied to Wes Grogan:
Agreed. This marrying a girl from a game is freaking hilarious, but that last comment about gay marriage kind of ruined this article. I just want the funny.
Chris Sanders replied to ninjaclown:
Ha. Yes because heaven forbid Rob say something that makes you think. If you laughed while you were reading it, the article isn't ruined.... it's just been made by poignant by the absurdity that a person can marry a hunk of plastic but not another human being.
It's just absurd.
keepoffthegrass said:
.....wait you CAN do this?
I claim princess toadstool!
Kevin replied to keepoffthegrass:
I lay claim to Samus!
MouthFullaHay replied to keepoffthegrass:
Dibs on Laura Croft...before they made her more "proportionally accurate".
Arcane replied to keepoffthegrass:
Ok, but just stay away from pits and pools of lava. All I'm sayin'
keepoffthegrass replied to Arcane:
damnit. how about a giant floating castle?
Benne replied to keepoffthegrass:
I call dibs on Tiffa from FFVII.
FireKraken said:
If I was an even halfway respectable hacker of any kind, I'd spend the rest of my days trying to create a virtual male character to insert into that virtual universe to seduce his "wife". The cherry on top would be him turning on his DS one day to find his bride pregnant and serving him divorce papers.
Dread said:
Idiot.
Idiot. Idiot. IDIOT.
JOE said:
Oh boy!
Now I'm going to buy that Transformers Animated Arcee and marry it.
rasmodeus said:
Do the virtual girls have to be 18+? 'Cause I'd forsee a lot of perverts fighting over who marries Rei Ayanami from Evangelion.
P.S. Some people just take offense over any little thing. It was obvious your marriage statement wasn't meant as prejudicial.
CTrees replied to rasmodeus:
Also, does the age measurement go by what the game states, or from when the game was created (when the character was created, in essence the date s/he was "born")?
Magicsgame said:
You know what the worst part about this is?
I'm not sure if I should think this guy is a fucking idiot or idolize him.
Magicsgame said:
Oh, and in before everyone posts their nerdy crushes.
Bill said:
I got dibs on Claire Redfield! No, wait...Jill Valentine! Heck, I'll marry them both! Woo-Hoo!!
Seriously thou, at least this nut won't be able to reproduce, further polluting the genepool.
ron said:
that WHORE! I've been seeing her for months now, and she goes and marries some other guy?
she could have told me she was seeing other people!
ron replied to ron:
just to be clear, I'm kidding, I may be a sad pathetic loser, but I'm not this bad.
Chris Sanders replied to ron:
haha I admit I kind of want this game... but my real girlfriend might get jealous and try to cut her off.
manobon said:
Can we have a debate about Virtual marriages affecting the integrity of the institution of marriage, then?
"It's Adam & EVE! Not Adam & 0110011100111!"
"Hey! No one's forcing YOU to marry my gorgeous pixel-queen!"
"RAWWRRR!"
"GARRRRRR!"
And so on.
bookfisher said:
This kind of makes me reminds me of the movie "Demon Seed"
SpookyElectric said:
Boogiepop Phantom. Episode 4. 'Nuff said.
doc_ock_4mugen said:
If Action figures are marriable, then in late January/early February I might be getting my mail order bride. (If I survive the evil Red Screen of Death...) If I can't get Adora, then Teela will be my rebound Girl...
Wes Grogan replied to doc_ock_4mugen:
Poor, poor Teela. She always ends up being the rebound girl. She had it made until that upstart Adora came along.
Chris Sanders said:
I posted the wedding videos, along with a slide show over at my site. It's kind of disturbing.
I keep asking myself if this is a publicity stunt or if this guy is REALLY this messed up. I mean REALLY ?
I'd ask what he would do if he ever met a real girl... would he say NO I'm married, would like to meet my wife ? She's in my pocket ! WOW.
Zombies8myBalls said:
I think it's hilarious, let these bastards marry whatever they want.
ZeroCorpse said:
Well, the whole debate doesn't even fit here, as this guy is in Guam, and the major marriage-rights debate we're all referring to is in America.
Chris Sanders replied to ZeroCorpse:
Guam is a providence of America, genius.
clashcty replied to Chris Sanders:
Uhm? Isn't Guam a US possession?
PM said:
Many of the "Super Awesome Japanese Thing"[s] on this site are not far removed from this level of insanity.
CChaos said:
Ah, bloody hell, Rob. Why do you post things that make me want to start off my day with a tall glass of whiskey?
True insanity. The guy should be tossed in a loony bin somewhere.
Gleeman said:
emerson999 said:
I don't get how people can laugh at this, if he's serious. That's not funny crazy, that's a destroyed mind and life in ruins crazy. It's depressing as hell.
Asat replied to emerson999:
I wouldn't go so far as to call his a "destroyed mind" without more evidence, E99, but he does appear to be failing at one half of the "arbeit und liebe" test. If he's getting wedding invites out in a timely fashion, though, it suggests he's not a wreck. And has enough on the ball to expect gifts.
Actually he sounds more eccentric than crazy, and we tend to feel entitled to laugh at the eccentric since they're often happier than we are. The bastards. Laughing at someone who's miserable would be mean, but mocking a happy guy is fair game.
But this all does make me think about Rob's no-snark rule regarding the cosplay girls who married a while back. Two people being happy in an idiosyncratic fashion are charming, but one person is a bit too far from tradition. I'm not griping, I'm just awfully interested in where people draw the line. (Because sooner or later everyone does draw a line.)
demoncat said:
that guy must really have loved his ds girl to actuly decide to marry her not to mention how is the marriage even going to be legal since bride is nothing but program. proving love is in deed strange
Jenn the Hen said:
What a waste of a marriage license.
cocacolaoso said:
Are Comic book superheroes available? Mmmmm can I have Connor Hawke then?
Flargan said:
Can somebody post the legal information on this?
Is there any public records of an actual marriage?
Flargan said:
Never mind, I found out.
"As teased earlier this week, the otaku who married Nene Anegasaki, one of three digital girls in Konami’s import dating simulation game Love Plus, in Guam (a non-legally binding union, of course)"
"non-legally binding union"
Farglesnarf said:
If you can actually legally do this, then I'm marrying my leader-class Megatron toy.
