16 Awesome Fictional Firearms

By Patrick Cooper in Daily Lists
Monday, January 18, 2010 at 8:00 am
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In real life, guns are cool if you're a private detective or a sporting marksmen. But most of the time kids are always shooting themselves or trying to hold up liquor stores or something, and that sucks. In the movies, however, guns are awesome. In science fiction movies, they're even more awesome and make for some amazing prop replicas. Anything goes in the realm of sci-fi firearms and many pieces completely ignore the laws that govern actual projectile-firing weapons. Early examples of the fictional guns are the heat-ray featured in H.G. Wells' War of the Worlds (1898) and several weapons from A.E. von Vogt's short The Weapon Shop (1942), which featured "express rifles" made of "viridescent magnesitic beryllium." Now in 2010, the futuristic weapons we see on screen are probably above and beyond what Wells imagined and as CGI advances, so does the destruction. So wave your rayguns in the air as we look at the cream of the fictional firearms cache.

16) Men in Black's Noisy Cricket
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The unassuming "little midgy cricket" given to Jay packs the most punch per inch of all the guns on the list. Perfect for battling one of the many aliens of Manhattan. Available on eBay for 25 bucks.

15) Captain Mal's Pistol
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A sleek design allowing for easy access down Badger's throat, Mal's pistol combines a Taurus Model 85 small-frame revolver with the future frontier. Firefly's premier firearm is one any smuggler would love at their side. Its official title: "Moses Brothers Self-Defense Engine Frontier Model B" is kind of cheeky and annoying in true Whedon fashion, but that doesn't take away from the gun's overall sexiness.

14) Han Solo's DL-44 Heavy Blaster
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The galaxy's most infamous rogue can't just pack any old blaster. Hell naw. Han's weapon of choice is the DL-44, a blaster famous for being able to penetrate Stormtrooper armor and being outlawed by the Empire for this reason. In real life, the blaster's design is based off the German Mauser C96 pistol, used in World War I by both the Germans and Ottomans. Maybe if their version featured an air cooling vent, power pack, and an enhanced scope, they wouldn't have had their asses handed to them by the Allies. Tough luck, Krauts!

13) The Phaser
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Small enough to fit into a user's palm, Star Trek's iconic phaser pistol is one of the handiest of the weapons on this list. It can stun multiple targets or simply "vanish" them, but can also be used as a welding or cutting torch and to heat up material. Great for camping trips on the Rogue Planet! Phasers can also be set to overload; generating enough unreleased energy to destroy objects within a 50-yard radius. I've heard they also work as chick magnets.

12) District 9's Arc Gun

Feel the burn with Arc Gun -- a seriously badass piece of non-human weaponry the Multi-National United will do anything to figure out. This puppy uses a massive charge of electricity to shoot what is essentially a bolt of lightning; heating up the target to the point of molecular expansion. As Wikus discovers through his tragic transformation, the gun works only with an alien hand. A seriously awesome design.

11) The Acme Disintegrator Gun
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A favorite firearm of Marvin the Martian, the ACME (A Company that Makes Everything) Disintegrator Gun packed a whallop. Although Marvin was usually at arms with Duck Dodgers, even the nigh-invulnerable Bugs lost his tail to the gun once or twice.

10) Robocop's Auto-9
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Officer Alex. J. Murphy's Auto-9 is just the weapon to take on the aggressive, futuristic urban environment... '80s style. This standard-issue Beretta from Hell fires a three-shot burst every time the trigger is pulled and, for effect, spits little flames out the sides when fired. In short: the ED-209 fought the law and the law won.

9) Deckard's Detective Special
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Two triggers! One of the most heavily sold gun replicas on eBay is the Detective Special, wielded by Deckard in Blade Runner. Perfect for shooting female replicants in the back! According to several firearms blogs, the Detective Special is based off of the Steyr Mannlicher .222 Model SL action and a Charter Arms .44 Special Police Bulldog revolver. Did you just read "Mannlicher" and "Special Police Bulldog" in the same sentence? You're welcome.

8) Minority Report's Sonic Shotgun

One of the greatest sci-fi films of the '00s also featured a standout gun, if only for a minute. As Tom Cruise is fleeing from imprisonment and his fellow pre-crime fighters, he snatches up one of their sonic shotguns and bucks them down amongst a maze of empty barrels. The scene doesn't last long, but the gun is so damn nice, as is the accompanying sound effect. "Sonic" sound effects are always awesome. The "Sick Stick" featured in the movie is also notable.

7) The Ghostbusters' Proton Pack
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Remember in middle school, when you used the urinal and there was some creep next to you who would lean over and piss into yours while saying "Don't cross the streams!" Well I hope he didn't make you hate Ghostbusters or lose love for their awesome Proton Packs. The packs use a particle thrower (or, "Neutron Wand" for purists) connected to a backpack particle accelerator to keep ghouls contained while readying the ghost trap. They work because the positive energy of the proton packs attract the negative energy of the ghosts. Makes perfect sense.

6) Hellboy's Good Samaritan
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Handed down from the Torch of Liberty, the Good Samaritan is basically an enormous, Hellboy-sized revolver in design. But the devil is in the details, my friends. The grip is carved from the True Cross; pieces of wood the crucified Christ died on. The gun's steel is forged from a mixture of crucifixes, blessed silver, Irish church bells, and St. Sebastian's pubes. In short: A perfect storm of demon killing shit. (Just kidding about the pubes.)

5) Judge Dredd's Lawgiver
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Violence and crime and illegal sugar are an everyday part of life in Mega-City One, so the Judges carry what amounts to an entire arsenal in one convenient gun: the Lawgiver. Each Judge is designated his own Lawgiver, which recognizes the palm print of the user and will only operate for them. If someone other than the designated Judge picks up the gun, it'll explode (comics) or deliver an incapacitating shock (film). The gun can be fired using voice command, has a range of up to three miles, and features six distinct kinds of ammunition: standard, heat seeker, ricochet, incendiary, armor-piercing, and high explosive. Second Amendment indeed. PS: Diane Lane as Judge Hershey should be in everyone's top five sexy women of sci-fi. Boner shorts all around.

4) Zorg's ZF-1 Gun from The Fifth Element

A truly outrageous weapon for a truly outrageous villain: Jean-Baptist Emanuel Zorg. It's best to let Zorg sell this one: "It's light; handle's adjustable for easy carrying; good for righties and lefties; breaks down into four parts; undetectable by X-ray; ideal for quick discreet interventions." Not to mention that the "replay" feature will fire all rounds at the same target no matter what direction the gun's aimed in. This would be great against meth addicts; they're always running in unpredictable zig-zag patterns after stealing my hubcaps.

3) The Golden Gun
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From the James Bond book and film The Man With the Golden Gun, this instant kill firearm uses a 23-carat gold expanding bullet which flattens on impact. The gun belonged to Francisco Scaramanga, an assassin who started out as a trick-shot marksman in a traveling circus. But this is the Bond universe, so not only does the Golden Gun fire bullets. Oh no. It can also be used as a cigarette lighter and case, a cuff link, and a pen. The gun was also extremely popular in the Goldeneye game for N64, where it had the ability to force people to hurl their friend's controller across the room, swear, and never talk to them again. Fun Fact: In the film version, Scaramanga is portrayed by Sir Christopher Lee, who is Ian Fleming's stepcousin.

2) The Colt from Supernatural
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Created in 1835 for a paranormal hunter by Samuel Colt himself, the Colt comes with only 13 bullets. But that's all a hunter needs because these 13 rounds will kill ANYTHING, even beings normally immune to bullets and mystical murder methods. Dean used the final bullet to off Azazel in the season 2 finale, but white-trash Bobby has since revived the magic of the gun. Probably because the show's writers need an easy out once in awhile. I dunno, I stopped watching it after season 3.

1) Buck Rogers' Atomic Disintegrator
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The godfather of the "ray gun," Buck's Atomic Disintegrator has been making kids go "pew pew" for more than 80 years. Its influence can be seen in pretty much every ray gun that followed. Home versions of Buck's iconic sidearm were first introduced by Daisy back in the '30s and featured a flint-strike-sparkler mechanism in the muzzle so kids could realistically fight back the Mongols. In 2007 Go Hero introduced a fancy pants replica for collectors willing to spend $175. Real guns are just ugly hunks of scrap metalcompared to this timeless piece. Long live the king.

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