Robert Downey Jr., in full Iron Man gear.

The man. The legend. Bruce Campbell. I didn't even have to think about it.

Bender Bending Rodríguez. Why? Because I don't drink, and he can drink for the two of us thrice over and two-times in a row. That and having a real robot to talk to would be amazing, and a funny one at that.

Only one?! It would have to be with Sir Terry Pratchett of Discworld Fame, before his early-onset Alzheimer's disease takes him away from us.

Once again, those of us who would like to deep throat Joss Whedon are headed off at the pass by unreasonable restrictions.

Oh, the humanity.

Neil Degrasse Tyson. Apart from being charming and glib during every talk show appearance I've seen him make, and on NOVA, the guy is a brilliant astrophysicist. We'd spend all night downing Jack & Coke's, and talking about the universe

Not sure if this is substantially nerdy, but Hunter S. Thompson would be the greatest. He'd bring booze, guns and drugs. Dangerous, yes. Can you trust him, no. Would you wake up with a Z carved into you're forehead, possibly. Would the house be destroyed, obviously. Is he dead yes. Holy shit I just realized I am describing Zombie Hunter S Thompson. excuse me while I trademark that horrifying image.

Not to suck up, but it'd probably be you, Rob.
You're pro at running this site (something that I've been trying to do for the past year-- My goal is to be a professional, paid blogger. You know, people that go to conferences and they're recognized and cheered for. My kind of famous.), you're very funny and you post things that are relevant to me. We could drink our whiskey and I can play some Warp 11 and we can rock out and chat. I'd love to pick your brain to find out how you got your start. I should interview you-- perhaps I'd get some crossover traffic to my site.

First, I was going to say Stan Lee, but I'm pretty sure he'd just steer every conversation towards himself. Which isn't a bad thing, but it's not like I haven't heard it all before. So my choice would be John Rhys-Davies. He could teach me so much and share so many stories.

No question - Stephen Fry. Aside from his intelligence and wit, his voice alone makes it worthwhile.

Robert Englund, I loved NoES growing up, and still do. But I know very little, if anything about him, so pretty much everything he would talk about would be new too me. Plus he could talk about himself and it wouldn't creepy like "oh yes I read about that..."
Plus the whole actor thing, I'm sure he could give me some neat little pointers.

I know exactly who. Joe Dante. The man has a knack for metafiction and breaking the fourth wall that I respect with a deep sort of respectfulness, the kind of which I reserve only for the most fourth-wall shattering among mankind. I'd imagine we'd eventually end up drinking over a video of ourselves drinking, just because. Let the good times roll.

I would want to be stranded with William Shatner. He's banged tons of chicks and I'm sure he has some great stories, so that when my penis finally gets working again I can jerk off all day; however the icing on the cake would be that wherever we were stuck for the weekend I know he would have gotten a great deal from Priceline.com.

Priceline Negotiator!

This one is a tough and easy question. Sure I can think of a hundred nerdy guys and gals to get snowed in with but to choose only one.....
Stephen King, the man is a massive nerd I mean look at him. I have enjoyed his works for my entire life and to boot he doesn't drink so I could drink all the booze and have a hell of a time picking his brain about various stories and all. Of course he's an alcoholic so I run the risk of having him flip and go 'The Shining' on me but well worth it.

Nathan Fillion. I mean, Captain Mal Reynolds and a bar full of booze. That's a recipe for the most awesome disaster ever.

Since Sir Terry has already been snatched, I'll have to say Neil Gaiman. Huge batman fan, comic king, wonderful writer, VERY funny, and just about as big a geek as the rest of us.

My nerd drinking buddy? Oh the possibilities . . . I better make it someone of my own gender so it will stay as chaste and pure as Rob would like. Let’s say Gail Simone. I would listen in drunken fascination to stories about what it’s like to write awesome comics. I’d ask her what it’s like to re-interpret characters like as huge and iconic as Wonder Woman, and how she handled some of the more bitter and angry responses she got about her Women in Refrigerators project. I’m sure she has crazy stories about working in the comics scene that have never seen the light of day, and that is what good Irish whiskey is for; bringing those stories out! Also, I’d ask how often she giggled out loud while writing Deadpool. I would bring a tape recorder to remember what we talked about the next day.

Sir Patrick Stewart, simply for his epic voice

Chuck Norris.......
Wanna know why?
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/

How about chilling out and downing a couple with the god of games himself, Shigeru Miyamoto? Sure, he wouldn't be much for conversation, what with him speaking Japanese and all, but you could spend the night playing certified classics like Mario and Zelda with the grandmaster that created them. Furthermore, his foreign curse words (after dying against the first Goomba in 1-1 because he's so goddamn drunk) would be hilarious after you've had a couple. I don't even drink, but even I would have to take up the sauce for a night if such an opportunity came along.

Jack Kirby. We would basically just sit around drawing and talking about crazy awesome ideas. I would ask him about what it was like in the good old days. We'd talk about where we would like to see comic books go in the future. I would ask him about his favorite artists. Who he draws inspiration from... I mean aside from just asking him nerd questions I think a guy that creative and family oriented would have a lot of wisdom and insight.

I really wanted to say Alex Toth but I think he would be too much of a grouch to tolerate for any considerable length of time.

Rob Liefeld. You said no fucking, not no smacking the shit out of a talentless hack...

Gabe and Tycho from Penny Arcade. I'll take the actual guys *or* the characters. Simply for the reason:

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2005/10/31/

"I'm just drinking Coke.

"And?"

"Ice."

"..And?"

"....Cup."

"...And?"

"Like a pint of Morgan."

Without a doubt, Andre the Giant. The man's drinking pedigree is without equal. He drank 7,000 calories a day, never wanted to drink alone, nobody is going to give you trouble drinking with a giant, and he was Fezzick (which might just be reason enough). Plus, if you stayed on his good side, he was known to pick up $15,000-$20,000 tabs no problem.

I don't really have to think about this one: Christopher Walken. I could learn how to start my own mafia family and maybe even pick up some cooking tips. He's probably got lots of stories and has the greatest way of speaking, so I know he'd be the greatest person to drink with.

Russell T. Davies. I thought about various other writers and actors, but I finally decided on the writer of many episodes of the more recent Doctor Who series who was mostly responsible for the success of the revival. While maintaining the original appeal of the early series to sci-fi fans, he has played a large part in bringing Doctor Who "up to date". That is not to say that I dislike the older series, however, as I have seen my fair share of Tom Baker and Peter Davison days. But why would I not want to sit and talk to the guy who re-introduced the series to public consciousness, asking him about the inspiration he has and has spread to others?

Besides, if we had alcohol, I could get him drunk and make him write an episode. I think an alcohol-induced story from Russel T. Davies could more mind-blowing than an acid trip.

Hands down Neil Gaiman. We can talke mythology, comics, or literature. Have you ever read his blog? He makes bee-farming interesting. He also drinks tea, so that means more booze for me.

There's only one man that I'd be content to be cooped up with during a snowstorm, and that's Kevin "Lunch Box" Smith. Even if he never let me get a word in edgewise, I think I could just sit and listen to him opine about comics, pop culture, and blowjobs for a week straight.

Bill Nye the Science Guy

Ron Pearlman, he seems to be a cool guy in interviews and anyone who has done that many characters in geek media must be cool. Plus I can have him record a ringtone for my phone. "War war never changes..."

Felicia Day, because two red headed nerd girls would have loads of fun drinking, reenacting songs from Dr. Horrible's Sing Along blog, making our own nerdy web-series and heck if we run out of stuff to do we could always play WoW together. I think she'd be a blast (and have a lot of crazy Joss stories).

I want to go back into time and get "all fucked up" with the Homebrew Computer Club. Having conversions about chip, software, and what they thought was the future of technology...from their perspective, would be beyond epic...

Plus, im sure these lads got more ass then i did back in the day and smoke massive amounts of pot...

These can be fictional people, right?

If so, then Brock Samson, the time we see him tripping off Orpheus' drugs was pretty awesome, so he seems like he'd be fun to be around. That is unless he's an angry drunk.

It would seem to me that he'd have some amazing drunken tales to tell. And lastly, if he did get into a bar fight, that fight would be the most beautiful thing I'd ever witness, like watching Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel except with more gore.

What an awesome question. There are so many great minds out there that make it difficult. I am going to take a decidedly non-geeky option and go with Garrison Kielor. Or maybe that is the ultimate geek choice. I guess it depends on your particular brand of geek. He is just so intelligent and circumspect. I could spend a drunken, snowed in weekend with him and still have more to talk about. Any one who can take an outdated format and make himself famous with it along with providing witty social commentary. has to be fascinating.

Stan Lee. no question.

but not for the standard "tell me how you came up with Iron Man" stories... everyone knows that crap.

if this is an entire weekend snowed in and drinking, i would LOVE to hang out with Stan Lee drunk. he's always mister nicey-nice in the interviews... but get a couple shots of Jameson in him, and i wanna hear all about what a prick Jack Kirby was... if he ever saw Steve Ditko naked... the real dirty stuff.

plus, if we're getting hammered, then maybe i can get him to answer all those awesome questions that Brodie came up with in Mallrats.

Since Grady stole MINE and said Neil Gaiman, and because I'm not quite sure what I'd do with Jonathan Coulton after a quick "HOMG I might be voicing one of the characters in the adventure game about you" and learning to play the Zendrum, and because I'm in a truly foul mood right now... Anne McCaffrey. "But Jess," you say, "you think the DRoP series is terribly written! Why?" Because I want to sit down with her bony old ass and force her to answer all the goddamn stupid questions nerds argue about in the fandom before she frakking dies, because I have grown to loathe the fandom AND her factual inconsistencies AND how her sci-fi stuff makes no sense, and I want to stick it to everyone. So there.

Crap, didn't see Neil Gaiman was taken.

How about Kevin Smith? I'm sure your sides would be splitting from laughter before the weekend was done. And you could spend the whole time talking comics or Star Wars!

Simple, Wolverine because he's my favorite "hero" and he's canadian (like me :) )

Summer Glau. I mean really, River Tam? The character she was in the Sarah Connor Chronicles that I can't think of the name for right now? Plus, she also played herself on an episode of Big Bang Theory, which is just awesome. It would be epic. We'd talk about Firefly, and she could teach me how to kick people in the very tippy-top of their heads, and (depending on internet availibility) I could show her the dress I made last year based on the blue one she wears in Serenity. Plus, I also look like her, so afterwards I could really creep people out with crazy awesome River impressions because I would have spent so much time with her. So, yeah. Summer Glau. For Sure.

I know he's dead, but I would say Bob Clampett. The man is an animation legend, and a really underrated one, being constantly overshadowed by Chuck Jones.

Bob directed the funniest Looney Tunes/Merry Melodies cartoons the world has ever seen. He helped break the mold in the animation world in the 30's, introducing radical new ideas. I'd just love to pick his brain. I've been a huge fan of his for years and I could spend hours talking to him about how he mastered his craft, his relationship with Chuck Jones, and his opinion on the animation industry today. Plus from what I hear he was a really nice, really funny guy. So yeah, if I could have a drink with anyone, it'd be Bob Clampett.

without doubt Alan Moore. in addition to conversing about the pros and cons of anarchy, i could glean valuable insight in the arts of beard maintenance and ingenious story-telling at the same time.

H. P. Lovecraft. Three days would be plenty of time to cowrite our Cthulhu vs. The Titanic story. Plus, he hardly slept, so while I nap he could whisper unspeakable horrors in my ear as I dream of R'lyeh.

Huh...this was kind of a hard question. I guess if I had to go drinking with a celebrity,I'd pick Paul Dini. He seems like a cool guy to talk Batman and comics with,plus...have you seen his wife? She's a smoking hot magician who looks exactly like Zatanna except real. Do you know how many bar bets you could win with a hot magician by your side? Also,Dini used to work for Lucas on the animated Ewoks cartoons back in the 80's so I'm sure he has some weird ass 'Ranch stories(everyone who ever worked there always does).

Dan Brown. I have so many questions about why he let Ron Howard skull fuck the ending of Angels and Demons.

I might be a little pissed still...

Dear sweet Jesus, I can't believe he's still available. But I'd HAVE to drink with Leonard Nimoy. Aside from the fact that he's SPOCK, he's an artist, writer and international (dare I saw interplanetary?) superstar. Plus, you KNOW that he'd be a funny sumbi*ch once you got some good liquor in him. Funny and MEAN, talking all sorts of smack about the famous people he's known, which would just be amazing to hear and watch. You, me, and Johnny Walker Blue, Leo. Let's start some trouble.

♪♥♫☆Ω BREAKS OUT WITH THE ROMULAN ALE , DROW BRANDY, DWARVEN BOOZE , AND KLINGON BLOODWINE Ω☆♥♪♥♫

me + cookie monster :) because there aint a bigger addict to cookies and booze than big blue .

its a scientific fact . just ask any girl who loves cookiemonster ^^ (and yes I KNOW FOR A FACT , cookie will bring girls to the snowout ^^ )

Jagg
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
proof
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

if and only if

(dryhumping + cookiemonster )+(COOKIE GIRL * COOKIE GIRL) ^ cookie (to the power of) = DREAMY

((1+2)+(+3 * 4)^5 = solution

now you add into the equation the Cookie theif and multiply it by the rage the girls feel when he eats all the cookies as the ass whuppin he will get ;) .

((1+2)+(+3 * 4)^5 = solution

related SOLUTION >>>

if and only if

( solution + theif ) > ((hotties)^2 + asswhuppin) +( followed by thrown in traffic / the wrath of "Hotties" ) * (massivly brutal cookie raiding parties ) = (girls who destroy everything in their path for the Cookie)

(1+2)+((3^2) + 4)+(5/6) * 7 =Solution

THIS IS A SCIENTIFIC FACT , and if you think im wrong , i challenge you to take a cookie away from Blue . you wont last more than 2 minutes , cus youd be dead ^^

Tom Waits. No question, not only is he a music genius (he doesn't drink anymore, but I could drink and listen to him tell amazing/crazy stories and play music). His awesome and random cameo-appearances in great sci-fi and horror movies makes him the perfect nerd/musician paradigm.

I would go with Sir Sean Connery. Who wouldn't want to have a beer with Mr. Bond himself. We could also have a laugh over what a crapfest the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen movie was.

Richard Garfield. He can tell me some stories about his favorite games, teach me a little game theory, maybe teach me how to be better at Robo Rally...

I'd have to go with Doc Hammer, one of the brilliant mind behind the Venture Brothers. Good God not only would we drink all manner of alcoholic beverages, we'd also have to but cartons of Camels filers and Marlboro Red cigarettes by the crate load. By the end of the weekend we'd have run through each season of the Venture Brothers, (including a second runthrough of each with the commentary) and since we're both painters we could call over some models (one redhead, one brunette) to pose for us while we use our oil paints to portray Dr. Girlfriend and Molotov Cocktease, nude of course. Seriously Rob, if i can't have sex with guy, i'm at least going to have a romantic weekend with him to keep his interests in me for future events.
p.s. if i could get another person to join us it would most definitely be Jackson Publick. it just really hard to pick between the two. it's like picking the favorite of your children.

I don't drink, but I'd love to go clubbing with Suda51, Hideo Kojima or that really tan guy that makes the Yakuza games. You know the one.

Brian Lee O'Malley would be another choice of mine. I'd get him drunk so he'd tell me all about the final Scott Pilgrim book.

My nerd drinking buddy would be Patrick Stewart. I really loved Star Trek: The Next Generation and he’s got a great sense of humor (see Robin Hood: Men in Tights and his hilarious guest spot on Extras). Mostly, though, it’s because of a story I heard about him, and the story itself is the main reason I want to hang with him, even if it’s total BS.

So, as I said, I was a big ST:TNG fan, and also a bit of a pinball player in my younger days. So, around 1995 or so, I was at an arcade when I saw that they had just gotten the new Star Trek: The Next Generation pinball machine. There was someone playing it, so I stood off to the side a bit to see the machine and watch the guy play. We started chatting and I tell the guy playing that I was a Next Generation fan and I’d been dying to play that machine since I saw it. Anyway, I’m sort of just admiring the game for a while and I realize that this guy has yet to lose a ball since I’d been watching. He was freaking good. Then I actually look up at the score and he’s got something like 4 billion points. It was freaking crazy. Naturally, my reaction was something like, “Holy shit! You got 4 billion points.” He then tells me he took 4th place the previous year in the world pinball competition. I didn’t even know there was such a thing. But the guy was so good it seemed like it had to be true.

Anyway, he then went on to tell me how much he liked the game, because it reminded him of when he saw Patrick Stewart speak at UT Austin several years before. Picard had finished giving his guest lecture and went on to answer some audience questions. It was mostly the usual crap, but then some guy asked Mr. Stewart about having been recently named TV Guide’s Sexiest Man Alive. He wanted to know how a man of Stewart’s age had kept himself in such great shape. According to the Pinball Wizard, Stewart became very serious, looked directly at the questioner, and replied, “Fucking, my dear boy. Morning, noon, and night. Fucking.”

That encounter has haunted me to this day. Did Jean Luc Picard really say that? After all, how can you question the fourth best pinball player in world. Was the coolest thing I’d ever heard in my life just a lie told by some weird Pinball master after a totally random encounter. That’s why, of all the nerd choices out there, for me it would have to be Patrick Stewart. It’s the only way I could ever find out the truth.

Wrex from Mass Effect-Godamn that guy has class, a high tolerance for booze, would have your back in a fight and the stories! Oh man.

Also he'd be a great wingman for picking up Asari.

First impulse: Sir Patrick Stewart. He's intelligent, charismatic, funny, and has done a hell of a lot of interesting things in his life. Not to mention the fact that he's friends with the great BRIAN BLESSED! It'd be a second drinking buddy for the price of one, and the latter is possibly even more entertaining than the former! Not to mention the fact that if I could get them to go into character, I could be drinking with either Professor X or Captain Jean Luc Picard, AND Vultan of the Hawk Men at the same time for an insanely nerdy good time!

Christopher Walken

anyone who can be an Alligator for Lunch , Sober must be a blast drinking

or
Aquaman
cause i'm sure he drinks like a fish......

I'd tie one on with Lois Lane. We can hash out all her Clark/Superman issues over Bloody Mary's...with celery
SUSPICIOUSLY. MOISY. CELERY.

Neil Patrick Harris, as Barney Stinson. There would be no greater story than the one that would come from that night.

The man, the Mythbuster - Adam Savage. To me, he is everything it means to be a nerd in the modern world.

He is high energy, interesting as hell and as he proved in his ad libbed role in the indie film 'Ever Since the World Ended' he is always thinking about how to make cool stuff. As a model maker, comicon enthusiast (last year he went in full costume), and special effects genius - it would be the coolest experience ever.

For me, as a total Doctor Who nerd-girl, it'd have to be David Tennant. Yeah, I know it sounds like the fangirl-crush choice, but even though he's pretty darned attractive what's really great about Tennant is what a fellow nerd he is. I mean, seriously, the man wore a Star Wars t-shirt to an *awards ceremony* once.

I would dearly love to spend a totally platonic, snowed-in weekend geeking out with him over things like Star Wars, James Bond, and, of course, Doctor Who -- with the added hopes of getting him to tell fun stories about filming DW, and what it was like to ascend to Nerd Godhood by being a DW fan who actually got to play the Doctor. Special bonus if we had a stock of popcorn and a working TV and DVD player.

Shit...you guys have made me change my vote. Now I wanna go drinking with Patrick Stewart. In addition to all the nerd films,he also starred in SAFEHOUSE-one of my all-time favorite flicks,and hes a big time fan of one of my favortie comics TRANSMETROPOLITAN. I cant help but imagine that after 4 or 5 shots he would go from Picard to Spider Jerusalem pretty damn quick. I actually want this to happen now...if all the Topless Roboteers chipped in 20 bucks and offered to cover Sir Patricks bar tab,I'm pretty sure he would agree to show up. Lets...Makie It So!!!!

my choice would be Steve Ditko mostly because the legend talks to no one and secondly to actully get him sauced up enough to finaly in his own words reveal why he left marvel and spdier man and learn what he really thinks of stan lee. for i figure a couple bottles of soctch and what ever he drinks plus he would have no where to go any way from the storm it would be priceless

Mike Nelson. We'd watch cheesy movies (the worst we could find) and...well, you know the rest. Drunken MST3K, heck yes.

Patrick McGoohan, without a doubt.

Adam Baldwin. He never gets enough credit. He's never really been a leading man but he's been in some of the best nerd properties around (Angel, Chuck, X-Files, Stargate, FIREFLY!) and some truly kick ass movies (Full Metal Jacket, Predator 2, Radioflyer, Wyatt Earp). He's been all over the spectrum and worked with some of the best actors and directors around. I would love to hear some of his stories. Also, dudes a libertarian so I know we would get along.

Mark Hamill, he'd be doing the Joker voice all night and then we'd have lightsaber battles when we became restless. It'd be awesome.

John Barrowman. He's Captain Jack Harkness, dammit! What else needs to be said?

I'd get snowed in with Patrick Stewart and we could drink Manhattans and smoke Nat Shermans and do a two man salon reading of Waiting For Godot ( he'd be Estragon) while wearing TNG Trek uniforms. Then we could try on clothes, and give each other manicures or dead sea salt mud pack facials and watch Angels in America or the first season of Six Feet Under while eating squash bisque, because since we don't have working genitals that's as gay as it could get.

Wonderful question with multiple answers...

If I could pick someone that has already been picked - Joss Whedon. I'd want to know all of his plans for Firefly, especially Shepherd Book and Inara.

If I had to pick someone that hasn't been picked yet - Bruce Willis. Seagrams Golden Wine Coolers, Blues, talking about Die Hard, Sin City, his relationship with his kids and Demi, and how much of a putz Ashton is.

If I could pick someone dead - Leonardo Da Vinci. I'd need an interpreter, or subtitles, but who cares.

If I could pick a fictional character - Superman. How does it feel to know that if you lost your temper, mountains would crumble, people would die, and the planet you've adopted as home could explode?

If I could go back in time - myself at age 10. The space/time continuum would already be f**ked up.

If I could pick someone I already knew - an old girlfriend from high school. No, there'd be no sex, but we'd have deep conversations about what happened between us then, and catch up with what's happened since.

I've thought about this many many times...

My answer? Harry Houdini.

I like alot of fictional properties with characters Id love to hang out with, but Houdini was the real deal.

I just have so much respect for the man. Not only did he do live shows, but he was an accomplished pilot (1st in the air in austrailia) a movie star, writer and spawned countless copycats (one was even his brother who faked a rivalry). If you saw the prestige, when christian bale dresses up hides in the crowd of hugh jackmans show, thats based on something Harry Houdini actually did.

During a performance in L A, Houdini asked the current world heavyweight champ Jess Willard, who had refused to join the show. So Willard calls him a phony basically and what does Houdini say? "You were not always the heavyweight champion of the world but I will be always Harry Houdini ."

But the part that blows my mind. The craziest thing to me his legend is so huge the mans name...his actual NAME is a word.

Badass.

I could go on and on...I have a huge nerd-crush on him. But I would love to not just have a beer, but to see him perform and see what that was like.

Hands down, I would get drunk with Tom Servo and Crow. I can't even put into words how amazing that would be. Go rent some awful movies, get drunk and have a great night. Or go to the movie theater, that could actually be even better. I can't imagine a more lovely evening than getting wasted with the bots and yelling profanities at Dwayne Johnson as he destroys his career in the Tooth Fairy.

Okay I'm going to play devil's advocate here and go with George Lucus. I know he's lost his mind because of his money, so I'm going to throw you a curve ball and say 1989 George Lucus eight years before the Star Wars remakes and five years before he lost his mind. 1989 George Lucus still had standards, he wouldn't sell out. 1989 George Lucus was still pissed at Warner Bothers over the Star Wars fiasco, and he would still be fresh from Temple of Doom. We could talk about all kinds of things what it was like working with Harrison Ford, the measurements for that Slave Leia costume, and get him to give me his original Indiana Jones hat. We would spend hours talking Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and bitch about how money will destroy Hollywood. After a few drinks we could sing Star Wars songs, I would love his take on the Cantina Song, or listen to him reenact his favorite moments form Indiana Jones. Then after he finally passes out I'll kill him painlessly in his sleep so he'll never release those GOD AWFUL STAR WARS PREQUELS AND THAT TERRIBLE ABOMINATION THAT WAS INDIAN JONES AND THE CRYSTAL SKULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I would protect him from his own eventual downfall and we would still remember him for the original Star Wars and Indiana Jones and we would still respect him for it.

Groucho Marx. For a few reasons.

1. I've always had a similarly sarcastic sense of humor and I can only imagine a drunken battle of wits with one of my idols since he's been dead since before I was born.

2. Bad Movie Night. Imagine MST3K with Groucho Marx as a guest Riffer.

3. I want to sit down, expose him to some of the more modern "comedy" created since his death and then spend the rest of the weekend plotting the ass-kicking of all the dullards destroying the genere. Dane Cook, Jeff Dunham and - of course - Jay Leno.

Hansi Kürsch of my favorite band Blind Guardian. For me this has all of the possibilities to make it all sorts of awesome. First off, he's German so that means the man can drink which means that we'll be there a long ass time.

Next, his nerd creditionals are there in spades. After all this is the man who wrote many of the lyrics to the concept album "Nightfall on Middle Earth" about the Silmarillion. I repeat, he wrote an album about a work of Tolkien's that only true nerds know about. Not only that, but the album is fucking awesome. It's my favorite album of all time, and the only one that comes even close to second is Blind Guardian's "Imaginations From the Other Side", an album that is nearly as nerdy. It would be awesome to talk about his writing process and how he goes about transferring books to song. Then we could just talk about the books themselves and the plusses and minuses. That would be nerdvana for me.

But wait that's not all the awesomeness about Hansi: He's a fucking rocker. He's been able to do it most of his life as his real job. I don't care who you are, you spend the over twenty years of your life living on the road, you get some awesome stories about that. Which means after talking about nerdy things and getting drunk, we get to talk about crazy ass rock star stories while getting drunk.

So in conclusion, we've got a German, which means amazing drinker, hardcore nerd (working on a song called "Wheel of Time" for his next album), and a rock star with awesome stories about that. This is so damned sweet if you don't understand why I would want to drink with him, I don't wish to talk to you.

Are fictional people allowed?

If so, I wanna share some drinks with DCAU's version of The Question. I need to know the sinister true purpose of aglets! I NEED TO KNOW!!

Sir Richard Harris, a legendary drinker and story teller... he was a knight, lived in a haunted mansion, hung around with Peter O'Toole

For proof of his legend, skip to 3:45
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzCs1L_WYwM&feature=related

Spent half the '80s and most of the '90s drunk with Warren Ellis, so...David Lynch.

I would like to have a drink with Nolan Bushnell, the creator of BOTH Atari AND Chuck E. Cheese......genius. Besides anyone who dreams up a giant rat that sells pizza and thinks its a good idea is already three sheets to the wind so I know it will be a good time!

Douglas Adams (before he died, obviously).

The man was a comedic God, and my personal nerd hero for most of my life. Besides, he came up with The Guide after getting smashed. No telling what genius he could come up with whilst stuck in some shack with a random fanboy gushing over his every word.

Not to mention he's English, and those people just sound awesome.

Also: Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster. Need I say more?

General Zod, as played by Terence Stamp. KNEEL BEFORE THE TOILET! PUKE BEFORE ZOD!!

without a doubt i would pick Sir Ian McKellen. I mean, the man is a god among actors and was spectacular as King Lear, but also the great white wizard Gandalf, voice overs in the Golden Compass and Stardust and everyone's favorite supervillain Magneto. I get the feeling he would tell awesome stories about patrick stewart, or how much in love our favorite hobbits were (yes, the hobbits were all in love, have you not seen those movies?), or how much of a wimp hugh jackman really is. Plus i'm sure the dude can drink. AND HE'S A KNIGHT!!!

I'd honestly be too afraid to drink with Alan Moore, so I'd have to go with my second choice: Gary Gygax. I think I'd mostly berate him though about how a man who was gifted enough in statistics to make the greatest tabletop RPG experience to date didn't use his skills in something rewarding....like anything other than D&D.

If it's a fictional character then Xander Crews of Frisky Dingo. He has the booze, he has the talent for consuming booze, and while he wouldn't exactly make for stimulating conversation I imagine destroying the bungalow like Keith Moon would help us pass the time like gents (also, Keith Moon would be a good answer...)

If we're talking about real people, Conan O'Brien. Not only is he not busy, not only is he probably drunk right now, but he's a witty, urbane, supremely dorky man one could talk to for hours. That's not to say we wouldn't ALSO destroy the bungalow together, but we'd have an awesome talk before we did. And after everything else is destroyed we can use satellite internet to go online and post completely insane things on Twitter and YouTube and stuff, helping to make Conan an internet sensation apart from his usual awesomeness. This weekend will net him another two mil come contract time with his new show and if I'm lucky he'll let me tag along and reprise the character of Foam Rubber Andy.

And they both have great hair, so I could get tips.

I would totes pick J.K. Rowling. Why? Because she's a fuggin' ZILLIONARE! There's even a Harry Potter theme park!!! I would just pick her brain as to WHY SHE KILLED SIRIUS BLACK, DUMBDLEDORE, REMUS LUPIN, NYMPHADORA TONKS, GEORGE'S EAR. WHY??? WHY DID SHE DO IT?

But we'd be drunk on Scotch (in her Edinburough MANSION), so she'd be cool with it. And I'd also talk to her about Dumbles being gay. And outing him AFTER the book is released, WHOA. Gay Dumbles==GENIUS. JO == teh secks!

Oh, i love how you picked Christopher Lee, he's scary. Have you listened to the lotr: rotk commentary (extreme geek action over heres)? Peter Jackson talks about how Christopher Lee may have shanked someone back in the day. He was in some special ops thing during the war that he's still not allowed to talk about. Epic.

I know he was said already, but after this past week, I would pick William Shatner, and I would make him do spoken word versions of all my favorite songs.

I'm not even that big a Star Trek fan, but Goddamn, that's funny stuff.

Obviously Dr. Leonard McCoy. There is no other medical professional I would trust more to get my wang back online.

George Takei. That man has a sexily seductive voice and i could listen to him read the phonebook. Also I've heard he is one funny man and loves to tell stories, so thats a bonus

I'm gonna have to pull one outta left field and go with Andre Gregory, for no other reason than the man knows how to tell a good story.

chris claremont. from his writing he was an interesting guy, and my favorite comicbook writer. plus, he could bullshit like no other. so if the conversation ever ran dry, he could tell a few stories.

If it was allowed, I'd go with the entire cast of Mythbusters. You don't get any nerdier than that...we could bust some more drinking myths.

Since its not allowed and I can't decide, I flipped a coin a buncha times and came up with Kari Byron.

Snowed in for a weekend with someone? Alcohol all around? My choice of companion is none other than Yoko Kanno. She seems like she'd be really down to earth and just plain fun to talk with, once I'd got over my whole staring and going "Are you really here? Can I touch you, just once, just so I know that you're really here?" thing, although I hope the power would be out too, 'cause I always have to have music on and it might creep her out that a good 50% of my iTunes library is stuff that she composed. Anyway, we could swap people-watching-at-conventions stories, discuss creative-type stuff together, and maybe exchange wardrobe tips (she's only slightly tinier than I am and seems to have a similar dress sense). Once we got bored chatting, I'd indulge in a bit of tipsy karaoke, eventually dropping the bomb that she wasn't allowed to leave until she'd composed a whole album for me to sing.

Winter lasts a long time here in Northeast Ohio.

Wow, fantastic question, and some equally great answers so far.

If it has to be someone alive: Anthony Freaking Hopkins, if only so he can teach me how to do that little sucking noise he did when talking about the fava beans and a nice chianti. (Everyone does it, but they get it wrong.)

If I can go with someone dead--Thomas Alva Edison, a.k.a. The Wizard of Menlo Park. He was a nerd's nerd, a hacker's hacker, and I went to a grade school (in Union City, NJ) named after him. Getting Ol' Tom tanked to the gills would be a real hoot.

My wife just yelled an answer from the other side of the living room: Sigourney Weaver.

I don't think there's any one person I could choose. The list is too large of people I would love to talk to, and I would always be worried that they don't want to talk, yet again, about the same movies that millions of fans ask them about.

So instead I'm choosing someone I don't give a shit about: Michael Bay. I think there has to be some value in picking his brain to see just how someone like him thinks, especially after he gets totally sh**faced. And if he turns out to be totally unbearable, I could lash out all my nerd rage with total impunity, and at least cleanse my soul that way.

If that isn't a night of entertainment, I don't know what is.

My 1st thought was hunter thompson but once someone else chose him i started thinking a little harder (although i still think getting blitzed with him would be epic). The thought of being snowed in with a plastered alan moore scares the shit out of me. A drunk me with george lucas would end with me beating him over the head with a wire hanger, frothing at the mouth and screaming no more jar jar EVER. In the end the lightbulb went on and i knew who my choice was. Jules verne. I grew up reading his books and they were my 1st sci fi fantasy books and they blew me away. He was the begining of my nerd book love affair and i cant imagine anything cooler than getting sauced on good red wine and talking with him. Besides, whatelse am i ever going to do with 6 yrs of french?

I would have to choose two. Maynard James Keenan of Tool, and Sean Connery. Connery because:
1. His Voice. Who wouldn't be entertained just by getting him stupid drunk on whiskey and getting him to say "Superman is the lamest of hero's ever created by man"

2. His Recollection. The man supposedly has almost total recall of any and all events in his life. Did Christmas Jones just come once a year?

3. It's SIR SEAN FUCKIN CONNERY!!!

And Maynard, just because I'd like to pick his brain for a day as to where he gets his inspiration for songs. Then Sir Sean and I could bury him in the snow for the animals to find him.

I can't believe no one has mentioned it.

I would love to have on snowed in weekend with Mister Warwick Davis.

He was the Leprechaun, Wicket, Flitwick, Marvin and Willow. We could hang out and literally cover every aspect of nerd movies, from every genre.

Also it would be epic to say "I drank an Ewok under the table".

Dethklok.

They already drink excessively and are the 7th largest economy in the world, so not only would drinking with them be fun, but if I was snowed in with them, I'd have anything I could want at my disposal. I could race them on dethbikes, or do some guest vocals on one of their songs... and I do a mean Yoko Ono impression.

Alive-- Ryan Reynolds-- why-- write that down.. and the fact that he will have played 3 different comic characters, worn a fat suit, and traded up from Alanis to to Scarlett (theres gotta be a few stories there alone).and he might show you some naked pictures of his wife if he was drunk enough...

Dead-- Jim Henson- the man was a creative genius-- and can you imagine talking to a drunk Kermit for 3 days.

Imaginary-- Batman- because hes the goddamn Batman -- thats why

Dognobbit! My first choice got picked off in the third post!
OK, in that case I'm going to pull Jimmy Stewart up from the grave.
The guy was in several of the greatest movies of all time. He worked with or for most of the biggest names of the golden ages of both movies and TV. And he was a genuine war hero to boot! I bet he could tell some stories!

J.J. Abrams. I love the way he's made science fiction sexy and cool without sacrificing storytelling. Plus, I'd just want to stick around long enough for the subsequent hangover to set in. That way I can point out that that's how I felt after Cloverfield and every episode of Lost.

Dead - Hubert Selby Jnr .... the chance to drunkenly discuss the books 'the room' and 'the demon' would be enough but to hear the story of writing 'requiem for a dream' would be gorgeousity made flesh.

Alive - Mike Oldfield ... Drinking with the man behind tubular bells ... talking about the computer game behind tres lunas ...

Imaginary - Drinking white russians with the Dude for eternity ...

For me, drinking isn't about getting hammered. It's about enjoying a nice gin and tonic, hanging out with friends and having a great conversation. Mark Twain all the way.

So, I was reading the contest rules and comments out loud to my fiance (he's in the kitchen cooking dinner ... damn straight) and we're both laughing and trying to decide who we would choose when the following conversation occurred:

Him: Oh! I know who I would pick!
Me: Who?
Him: Dr. Timothy Leary!
Me: I'm not sure that's a nerd conversation. That's more of a dirty hippie conversation.
Him: People don't realize how brilliant he was. Sure, he got a little loopy later on, but ... [at this point I stop listening and start typing this because I would rather run out into the blizzard than ever have a conversation with Timothy Leary and I want other people to share the pain of the thought.]

Yoda. He'd get drunk as fuck.

Quentin Tarantino - for the mother of all movie marathons.

Actually, Billy Dee Williams. I met him at a con, and he's got the kind of voice that keeps on giving even after ten whiskeys.

You know, this suddenly came to me and I realized that I was absolutely forced to change my selection. Neil Gaiman of course would be a fantastic drinking partner but there is one man who would top all of them.

The Great Baron Munchausen.

No contest.

Wil Wheaton. The man has turned into a nerd god. We could play D&D and 40k drunk and reminisce about how cool we thought we were in the 80s.

I'd have to say Patrick Stewart. He's Picard. He's Professor X. He's been Captain Ahab and Ebeneezer Scrooge. He's done voiceovers on Family Guy, American Dad, TMNT, and Marvel Legends and Star Trek video games. Plus he's a Shakespearean actor! Do you know how much of that he could he could quote off the top of his shiny, bald head? And let's not forget the singing and dancing. I can include that, because, according to the rules, neither of us have genitalia. In spite of that, being snowed in with Patrick Stewart would be a pleasure.

Jeffrey Combs. Not only did the man revitalize the Question and Scarecrow in the DCAU, he played Dr. Herbert West in Re-Animator (and has played in several other Lovecraft adaptations, including one in which he played H.P. himself), and nine different Star Trek characters. NINE. I could pick his brain for days.

Oh, and he also played Kite-Man recently. So, there's that.

Someone took Bruce Campbell, which was my first choice.

But there's only one sensible second choice, and that's Jacky Chan.

Here's why this is completely logical. First off, hanging out with him would be cool before he was drunk. We'd watch his movies, he'd show off some moves. I'd get hurt, he'd get hurt.

But then, we'd get drunk, and then he'd go all Drunken Master, and it'd get even MORE awesome. We would probably end up taking down half the Taliban before the weekend was done.

Peter Cullen. Because I really want to hear what Optimus Prime sounds like when he's totally plastered.

The contest neglects to mention whether this person need be real or fictional.

FICTIONAL: Han Solo. He likes to hang out in wretched hives of scum and villainy, and must have some pretty good stories. Also he can explain to me how to understand Wookiee.

REAL: Alan Moore. There is no acceptable answer that is NOT Alan Moore. Even though no responder has working genitalia in this instance, I still feel confident in saying that if your answer isn't Alan Moore, you are the Gay. Close second is Tom Stoppard, but only because he never wrote a graphic novel and I can't find an action figure of him anywhere.

So many wonderful ideas already posted. For a living drinking buddy, Jonathan Coulton. Imagine the geeky music and he seems like a fun guy worth learning about.
Anyone, inspired by "jolly bitch", I'd pick H.G. Wells. I grew up reading The Time Machine and The Invisible Man and even wrote a letter to be opened upon my death or disappearance.
Gee, I guess maybe even HP Lovecraft, he seemed like a guy who could use a good drinking buddy, imagine the deep, dark discussions.

Patton Oswalt, humor + nerdom
I would not be bored; he might, but that's why there's alcohol!

Mel Brooks

I think Spaceballs is sufficiently nerdy to qualify and he is of course the father of Max Brooks of World War Z and Zombie Survival Guide fame.

I think he would have millions of fantastic show biz stories from over the last 60 years told with that exuberance he always has in his roles and interviews.

Plus, since he's from that bygone era of Mad Men and Cary Grant I do believe he would drink like a champion and the stories could only get better.

Easy. Dame Judi Dench. Can you imagine the stories?! Not to mention, i bet she can drink like a damn fish, crazy awesome old ladies always can. I'd kill to just kill a few handles of Old Grand Dad and play Yahtzee with her.

Shinji Ikari. That kid needs a freakin drink.

I can't see his name (apologies if I am wrong), and I can't believe he hasn't been chosen- TOM BAKER, people! I'm not even much of a Dr Who fan these days, but having seen him in various things and been exposed to many of his anecdotes I know that the man brings the funny and the interesting. He was a monk who had to leave because he couldn't stay celibate!

Honestly, Dean Stockwell.
Guy has a huge portfolio of bit characters, smaller stuff, nerd roles and a huge range.
I'd be lying though if I said that what inspired me to this choice was anything other than his Magnificent Bastard-ness in the role of John Cavil from BSG.
Frankly I would watch the entire series all over again just to see him deliver some of those lines.
Plus I bet he has a great Captain Planet drinking game (he was Duke Nukem).

My answer is simple: the GODDAMNED BATMAN! So long as he was voiced by Kevin Conroy of course. This makes much more sense than you might expect, as I'm straight edge, and Batman is renowned for his teetotaler status, so I could hopefully pick his brain all weekend long about what he really thinks of his fellow DC characters, his Rogue's Gallery, whether he's a borderline schizophrenic, and we could probably do some nifty detective work with so much spare time & no interruptions. Maybe he can help me come up with a decent entry to one of these contests for a change so I actually stand a chance at winning a shirt...

Nobuo Uematsu, duh!!! (I have a piano)

Tomonobu Itagaki. First off, I'm not a drinker, so I need someone else to zap all the liquor. Second of all, I think we could talk about Fighting games, breasts, and "wouldn't it rock if" scenarios for weeks. Third of all, I will make him play TMNT: Tournamen Fighters(Genesis) until he HAS to admit Tekken doesn't suck.

Practically all of my first choices were taken, and I really wanted to list one nobody had gotten to yet.. so I did a bit of thinking, and came up with only one answer:

Tim Curry!!!

The man has done EVERYTHING! I could spend the entire time just talking about Rocky Horror, Clue, Legend and IT. But when you factor in that he has performed with the Muppets, been a part of the following cartoons: Tiny Toon Adventures, Talespin, Darkwing Duck, Captain Planet, Batman TAS, Pirates of Dark Water (one that was TRULY underrated!), Gargoyles, Sonic, countless Disney cartoons, and friggin Duckman! (thank you USA network!)... Plus the countless movies.. I mean, his stories must stretch for years! He's done it all, he's seen it all.

Plus, it's Tim friggin Curry! I mean, Do I really need to go on here?

The only downside is that it may be hard to fall asleep knowing Pennywise the clown is sleeping near-by, but hopefully I'd be too drunk by then to care.

Practically all of my first choices were taken, and I really wanted to list one nobody had gotten to yet.. so I did a bit of thinking, and came up with only one answer:

Tim Curry!!!

The man has done EVERYTHING! I could spend the entire time just talking about Rocky Horror, Clue, Legend and IT. But when you factor in that he has performed with the Muppets, been a part of the following cartoons: Tiny Toon Adventures, Talespin, Darkwing Duck, Captain Planet, Batman TAS, Pirates of Dark Water (one that was TRULY underrated!), Gargoyles, Sonic, countless Disney cartoons, and friggin Duckman! (thank you USA network!)... Plus the countless movies.. I mean, his stories must stretch for years! He's done it all, he's seen it all.

Plus, it's Tim friggin Curry! I mean, Do I really need to go on here?

The only downside is that it may be hard to fall asleep knowing Pennywise the clown is sleeping near-by, but hopefully I'd be too drunk by then to care.

Easy one: Wallace Shawn.

You want someone to have a long, drunken dinner and evening of philosophical conversation with?

Wallace Shawn once had a long, drunken dinner and evening of philosophical conversation so awesome they made it into a major motion picture.

How many former Star Trek bit players can say that?

Michael Winslow. I guess this is self explanatory.

Mike Patton, Music rock God! Video game voice actor...scream/yell actor!
He could handle his booze, he'd be interesting as shit with all the different things he's done.

But most importantly, he just seems like a fun sarcastic smart alec-y, but down to earth type of dude.

I'm going with Davros,
I'd love to hear his plans for Darlek supremacy while he's getting blind. Then he'd drive his wheel chair all wonky and bash into the furniture. It'd be a hell of a laugh. You could hang a bottle top over his forehead eye and make him guess what spirit he was drinking. And he'd swing his little dried up claws fancy-crazy.

Good times...

Crispin Freeman would be my first choice. I wouldn't mind listening to the drunken version of his mythology lectures.

Norio Wakamoto would be my second choice. What better to have as a drinking buddy than one of the largest hams in existence, who is also drunk off his ass.

The late great Steve Irwin, aka the Crocodile Hunter. Not only did he teach millions of potiental nerdy children about awesome things like reptiles, but he kind of acted drunk already. Imagine having a conversation with him after he really got hammered? That would be an experience!

Frank Herbert with a big, pretentious bottle of imported brandy. Why? So I can ask that all important question:

"So Frank, just how much acid did you have to take before you decided dunes were a great basis for a sci-fi epic?"

(And no, this isnt a crack at Dune, I think it's the greatest sci-fi series of all time)

Ok, I think I would have to go with They Might Be Giants. John and John would be a blast to hang with especially if all we had was a guitar, a keyboard, and an accordion. They are eccentric creative men who are also hilarious. I'll bet they have some awesome weird super fan stories and they probably like obscure movies like I do. I'm not sure if they drink much, but I would love to see them perform "The Sun is Hot" totally shitfaced.

I'm gonna have to choose Stephen Colbert. The man is certainly a nerd, with a deep love for science fiction and fantasy novels, and he is a fascinating and hilarious storyteller. He would make an amazing Dungeon Master. I can only imagine how awesome it would be to get sloshed with him while hanging out and ranting about nerd stuff.
Also, by the end of the experience we would have completed a screenplay for an amazing live-action Tek Jansen film.

Sherlock Holmes. I would jump at the chance to study with the master. Not only is Holmes intelligent, but well read, well versed in music, and just an all around awesome fictional character. Not to mention he is my favorite literary character ever. Just so long as there is no mention of enemas, thank you very much.

I've got to go with Arthur Dent. He's unwillingly hitchhiked across the galaxy, prevented the destruction of said galaxy, learned how to fly, and can make a mean sandwich. I figure he'd have some interesting tales to tell and at the very least, would be up for getting incredibly drunk.

Vincent Price, Sure he's mostly remembered for B horror movies, but he was also dedicated to the preservation of the arts as well as being a being a chef and published author.

When I think of long periods of drunkness and conversation, I think of one name. Ernest Hemingway. If anyone can polish off a couple of fifths while still eloquently telling some awesome story of manlyness, it would be him. I mean, the man allegedly liberated a bar in Paris during World War II. That's a man I want to have a drink with.

if i was snowed in with anyone, its really hard to decide between Kevin Smith and Quentin Tarantino. I'd probably prefer Kevin Smith mainly due to the fact that Quentin strikes me as the kind of guy that would go house crazy and stab me in the face with one of our empty bottles of whiskey. so i'd like to hang with Kevin smith. lets face it, he knows music, comics, movies, video games. and he's a pretty interesting cat with alot of funny stories. who knows, we'd probably get so drunk and bored we'd probably write up a movie script about Prince being trapped in Antarctica riding a camel to the kids GAP.

If I could choose anyone...Andy Kauffman.

He played Latka on Taxi, but was also an amazing comic genius. For those who are interested watch the movie Man on the Moon. I lvoe movie Man on the Moon, to the point where I put in a personal collection that if anyone wants to really know who I am that's one of the movies I give them.

Making people laugh was only one part of his act. He would get people pissed off and laugh and cry and run the whole gamut of emotions. Think of what he could have used the internet for today...

I of course would ask how he came up with his ideas. He'd tell me stories from the road and Taxi. I'd tell him about how much his story means to me and wish that he would have got a better shake in life. He'd show me his shtick and maybe some wrestling moves. Lots of laughs, but no drinking cause he wasn't an alcoholic and we'd only eat vegetarian food.

I just think it would be a really fun time, that would be enlightening and peaceful and scerene. Good times. :)

If I have to choose someone alive though, it would be Rainn Wilson. We'd talk about The Office of course but also of nerdy things and of philosophy. That would be a real fun time as well.

He's not an idol of mine by any stretch of the imagination, but I think it would be awesome to have Marvel's Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada as my drinking buddy. For one thing, he's always struck me as a genuinely likeable person. In every interview or TV appearance, he's seemed like a fun guy who's more than willing to poke fun at himself and the decisions he's made. Plus, he must have a wealth of hilarious anecdotes from his time as both EIC at Marvel and as an artist. But I'd be lying if I said the main reason I'd want to be snowed in with this guy is to give him a chance to properly justify One More Day. I like Joe, and hate One More Day, so I'm giving him three entire days to explain his grand vision for getting Peter Parker dating again. How was magic supposed to fix everything without coming off as a massive insult to comic fans? The booze will flow freely, and finally the truth will come out. And if that truth is something so simple as "If I can't be married to Spider-Man, no one can!" I will walk away from our encounter a satisfied man.

I hope this is okay, but I have three choices: one main one and two backups.

Main choice: Hayao Miyazaki. The “Walt Disney” of Japan, I certainly think so. Miyazaki-sama’s films show that he is one of the last true visionaries of our time, not just in Japan, but in the whole world. As a student of filmmaking, I wish to discuss the artistic merits of film animation in this age. I also have a long-term dream of finishing one of his projects if he were to die before its completion (i.e. Artificial Intelligence and Steven Spielberg/Stanley Kubrick) so I hope to ask him that as well (perhaps much later on when he'll likely be just drunk enough to not be creeped out by my request).

First Understudy: Neil Gaiman. Not just my favourite fantasy and comic book writer, but my favourite writer period. He’s got a strong respect for human mythologies and stories, and yet has some of the most original ideas I've ever read. He's also planning on directing a film adaptation of his comic “Death: The High Cost of Living” and I hope to work with him on it, and also work with him in my own film projects that I have planned to do once I become a filmmaker; perhaps he can help with writing the screenplays.

Second Understudy: James Cameron. When I first read about the revolutionary effects technology he used in “Avatar,” I immediately wanted to use them someday; and having seen “Avatar” four times in 3-D already, I have finally become convinced that CGI can truly be employed with real emotion and heart onscreen. I’m also deathly excited about his plans to adapt the cyber-punk manga series “Battle Angel Alita” into a trilogy of films that employ the same technology as “Avatar;” in fact, I have a more short-term dream of becoming a production assistant on one of his “Battle Angel” movies, and for that to be my spring-board into becoming a real Hollywood director.

P.S. Kudos to you Rob, for the “no working genitals” rule. You may not remember me, but my entry in the “fictional couples” contest had nothing sexual about it.

Alton Brown, hands down. The man is intelligent, snarky, and warped in addition to being an all-around nerd. He'll have great stories, even if they are all made up, and he likes to drink--he even did at least one episode of Good Eats dedicated to liquor and liquor recipes. PLUS, we would definitely have snackage AND I wouldn't have to do all the cooking. He likes liquor, beer and wine (which he can keep), so I imagine a fun weekend of beer with tequila chasers (a personal fave of mine...hmmm...wonder if I could get him to do a Yoda impression...), coupled with lots of foodie talk, book talk, learning to fly (in a plane, as a pilot) talk, and all the dirt on the Iron Chefs--particularly Morimoto. He's also southern, so we could discuss at length all of the idiosyncracies of being a Southerner. Said conversation would be rife with "Mama" references which would, in turn, induce more drinking. Everclear jello shots would also make an appearance, to accompany his tales of his experiences from his motorcycle ride from New Orleans to Minnesota. Man, that would be a great weekend!

If that isn't possible, I'd settle for Mike Judge. That dude is warped and I would love to pick his brain. Anyone who can come up with Cornholio (are you talking to ME?) should be good for some conversation mixed with drinking.

Neil Degrasse Tyson, for he is the world's sexiest astrophysicist.

No but seriously I adore this man. To be able to be so witty and educate millions on the amazing truths of our universe is awesome. Not only can we crack jokes together, but we could talk about why Earth's orbit and weather pattern has caused us to be snowed into a cabin together.

Plus, I think we would make a bitchin' snow solor system together. All to scale.

Pluto not a planet.

First off, I apologize for any mistakes I make. I'm from a small latin-american country, Paraguay (google it, won't kill you), and english I can speak, but write... not so much.

If I have to stay with a person for three days in a house for drink and talk, I'll choose (and I can't believe I'm the first one) the late John Ronald Reuel Tolkien. I mean, c'mon! He's the reason why manny of us are nerds in the first place. He wrote de fantasy epic every D&D novel want to be when they grow up.

I've never drank brandy before, but sure as hell would share a few zips with the great bard. And a few pints of fine beer. I'll listen to every story he ever imagine about the middle-earth, every song the elves sing. I'll ask him if the Balrog has wings or not! If the dwarven women had beards! And i would listen about his aproach to writing fantasy, about his love for the old myths of the north, about the love of his love, Edith. Hell, I'll even hear him talk about religion.

Because this man, this tale-teller, this skald, this was a wise man. A man who see our world with different eyes, and in doing so, he saw a different world all-together. Arda, Middle-Earth, the land that haunt my dreams and the dreams of everyone who spent time in the pages of his works.

Cheers maestro. We salute you, and thak you.

First off, I apologize for any mistakes I make. I'm from a small latin-american country, Paraguay (google it, won't kill you), and english I can speak, but write... not so much.

If I have to stay with a person for three days in a house for drink and talk, I'll choose (and I can't believe I'm the first one) the late John Ronald Reuel Tolkien. I mean, c'mon! He's the reason why manny of us are nerds in the first place. He wrote de fantasy epic every D&D novel want to be when they grow up.

I've never drank brandy before, but sure as hell would share a few zips with the great bard. And a few pints of fine beer. I'll listen to every story he ever imagine about the middle-earth, every song the elves sing. I'll ask him if the Balrog has wings or not! If the dwarven women had beards! And i would listen about his aproach to writing fantasy, about his love for the old myths of the north, about the love of his love, Edith. Hell, I'll even hear him talk about religion.

Because this man, this tale-teller, this skald, this was a wise man. A man who see our world with different eyes, and in doing so, he saw a different world all-together. Arda, Middle-Earth, the land that haunt my dreams and the dreams of everyone who spent time in the pages of his works.

Cheers maestro. We salute you, and thak you.

Carl Sagan's ghola.

There should be no question at all who the nerdiest drinking buddy is.

His name is Morn. He occupies a seat at the end of Quark's bar on Deep Space Nine. He doesn't say anything. He doesn't do anything. He just sits and drinks. He was, quite literally, made to be your drinkin' buddy. He's even named after Norm from "Cheers".

I 2nd the vote for Wil Wheaton - great mind, down to earth and embodies the geekness I adore in the people I surround myself with in the hopes I can learn things through osmosis.

You didn't specify fictional or real, which has given us a very wide range of people to choose from. So sorry I couldn't pick just one...

I'm a huge Harry Potter nerd, so I'd like to throw back a few with J.K. Rowling, or, if we're talking fictional I'd love to throw back a few with Harry himself.

I'm also a huge movie nerd, and one of my favorite directors is M. Night, because he has done what I've always dreamed of doing, made original films in his own style of storytelling. M. Night doesn't make films so whiny internet bloggers will love and adore him, he makes stories that are meaningful in his eyes, and as a fellow lover of stories, I'd love to have a long talk with him over some drinks. (And I know all u hate him, so go ahead and waste your energy telling me how much he sucks, cause I won't be listening ;D )

And I guess my third choice would be Starbuck (Kara Thrace) because THAT would be a fun night in so many ways. If the no sex rule wasn't being enforced, however, my #1 choice would be Apollo, hands down ;)

My nerd drinking buddy... China Mieville my favorite living author.

This dude is an author from England who as written some of my favorite books of all time... Un Lun Dun, Perdido Street Station, The City and the City, and The Scar (floating pirate city!!) among others. As someone who is trying to get some writing published that along could be hours of conversation about books and writing and whatnot. The guy's an award winner. Arthur C Clark wins.. British Fantasy Awards... nominations for Hugos and Nebulas and all the other biggies of the genre.

Here's where it gets better though... He's a DnD player. I suspected as much when I first read Perdido Street Station because some of the mechanics of the quasi-magical-steampunky world seemed like they were very compatible with a little d20 action. Turns out, he's written in Dragon Magazine about it. Think about that... it's not some fan action adaptation. It's not a check cut to him by some third party who wants to play in his world. The creator of the world added the dice to his own creation. The ultimate GM.

But guess what? China's not done yet. He's a ridiculously smart guy. He's got degrees in social anthropology and international relations and a friggin' doctrate from the London School of Economics. The dude had a fellowship at Harvard!

Even better... he's British!! That means if we were snowed in drinking and dicing and all that awesome stuff... WE WOULDN'T BE DRINKING CRAP BEER! Miller and Coors don't exist out there. I could trade my Sam Adams and Shipyard Pumpkinhead and Rogue Dead Guy Ales for his Newcastles and Hobgoblins and Boddingtons and Carlings. And then we could talk about the Premier League. When you watch the EPL it's soooo hard to find someone who knows about the significance of a Manchester Derby or knows about Millwall Bricks. And go look at his picture on wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/China_Mi%C3%A9ville and then go look up what a Millwall Brick is.. i mean jeez.. i wouldn't want to smacktalk whatever team he supports. He's a real life skin, not one of those neo nazi turds. He'd bust up your face eight ways from sunday.

China Mieville is a shaved head DnD playing neo steampunk weird science writing British bad ass. Feel free to come over any time. (just please dont' be a Man U fan)

Stephen Fry. He's the most well read, polite and geeky (in a knowledgeable or scholarly way).

And despite his love of Oscar Wilde, whom i believe to be more of a fortune cookie writer than anything, he would be witty and funny, and a delight to listen to as well as discuss ideas with.

And ever since the most recent Hitchhiker's Guide movie, his voice has replaced my own as my internal narration/thought process.

I'd go with Seth Green. I bet he likes to party.

Barack Obama. Not to hear his keen political insight but just to see the president drunk.
With enough alcohol I'm pretty sure I could get him to spill government secrets or at least convince him to better prepare for the zombie invasion.
Z-Day is coming!!

Hmmm, since Nathan Fillion will be busy having drinks with Beretta Paige I will have to go with James Earl Jones. Having seen some interviews with him he seems like a very genuine and down to earth kind of a guy, and his film career is NOT limited to just sci-fi. I can see the two of us sitting by the fire place, having drinks, eating good food, and talking about a wide range of subjects. And you know that while I am half sloshed out of my mind he will, at the most inappropriate moment, say, "John, I am your father!" and cause me to fall out of my chair from laughing too hard!

i would pick kevin smith.
not only do i think he would just generally be pretty cool, but also, i don't think i would want to kill him after drinking for 3 days.

plus, every time he talked, it would be like silent bob wisdom.

Christopher's Plummet. Not only was he in The Sound of Music but he also played a KLINGON!!

If he's not available, then I would take Bill Paxto in a heartbeat.

Andy Serkis.

The man is just so intense that I would love to just sit on a couch and let him talk. His enthusiasm for everything he does is so infectious and I think a snow day where he taught me how to do the Gollum voice would be fun as heck!

In a hypothetical like this in which you could wish to spend time with any living person, you want to make your time count. Sure it'd be fun to hang out with some of your favorite actors or writers, but just fooling around is almost a waste of an opportunity.
That's why I'd choose to drink with John Glenn. He's seen and done things that few men and women have ever experienced. I'm not sure I could imagine a more interesting evening than drinking wine and hearing about what it's like to explode past the atmosphere, be weightless in space, and look at the earth and stars from orbit. Plus, old people are wise as shit.

Little Kuriboh. Without a doubt.

If you have no idea who I'm talking about, stop reading, and watch this. It will change your life. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-32NGYLqwAQ

Why do you ask? Do you actually have to? Firstly, he's the creator of YuGiOh: The Abridged Series and it's just made of win. The is the guy who founded the concept of Abridging shows. Dear god. Besides, the man has added more Memes to TVTropes.org then any other single person in recent history. The man is a Nerd (Demi) God, he knows his anime and his general nerdom. Secondly, he's an actor and a voice actor, so I'd have him do impressions all night long. And the more drunk he gets, you know the more funny he'd be. You can have your Patrick Stewart, and your Christopher Lee, I just want Kuriboh to do impressions of them and more. Better then any stand up comedian on Comedy Central. Thirdly, he's British. we could watch Doctor Who, and drink tea, and eat biscuits in between drinking warm ale, and port. I've seen some of his announcements, and he just seems like a nice, normal fun guy to be around. Plus, he has a hot accent. Be f***ing amazing.

Any member of The Straw Hat Pirates. Its seems anytime they end a long arc they do so with a massive party, plus they all would have excellent stories.

Does it have to be someone who is still alive? If not, I'd have to say Ben Franklin. The king among nerds. The guy who would take a break from talking up a storm about politics with his brainy friends to run nerdy experiments (like the whole kite-in-the-rain thing). That and he has damned good social skills (see France), which would make the whole few days alone with him a lot more entertaining than hanging out with some great genius who you'd just be itching to get away from after too many awkward silences and uncomfortable conversation segues.

That and he was reportedly a huge boozehound.

Rob Bricken.

Seriously.

If Rob drinks every time he reads fanfic, then he associates his memories of fanfic with drinking alcohol. Also, Rob doesn't post every fanfic he has read, so there's probably a metric ton of crap he's never posted about. So, by drinking alcohol for three days straight, we'll be able to recall all of the stories that he's forgotten. And, because we have no genitalia, we won't have to worry about getting turned on by the fanfic!

sorry its a dead heat between Leonardo DaVinci and Ray Smuckles....its a choice that will haunt me all of my days....but Ray has all the tasty stellas and our snowed in days would surely be bluntastic...

I'd go with Eiichiro Oda, the genius behind One Piece. It's been 12+ years and counting and he's not even "half" way through his story yet. Every arc gets better and better and I've heard he planned this story years ago!

I'll be honest, one of my biggest fears in life is that I'll die before the conclusion of One Piece (Or worse yet, Oda dies before he completes it). If I do, you can bet that I'll remain here as a ghost until One Piece ends.

I want to know more about the progression of the story. Nay, I NEED to know more. Maybe a few drinks will loosen up his tongue. But honestly, I'll accept a weekend of quietness as long as I can see the master of Shounen at work...

OMG... Terry Gilliam or John Clease.

Are you freakin' kidding me?!?!
Monty Python's greatest writers/actors and I'm sure they're fabulous drinkers too.
Oh the stories I would hear!
It would be Magic.

What do I look for in a drinking buddy...
He/she would have to be intelligent, interesting, and easy to converse with, even whilst under the influence of hard liquor...
I have to go with one of my favorite writers, Neil Gaiman.

I would have to say Eddie Izzard.
A dull moment? Not likely. We could re-enact scenes from the Death Star Cantina, and talk about where the history comes from... But most of all, he could teach me how to put on make-up, and finally feel like a real girl.

My first answer was BATMAN, but then I thought about it and realized that Bruce Wayne is probably the most morose drunk ever, so no thanks, Batman drunkenly weeping is a no.

So second choice, god, this is so nerdy it's BEYOND nerdy, but I would love to be snowed in with Sir David Attenborough. He's just ridiculously incredible and, quite frankly, he could read me cricket scores in his wonderful voice for hours and I would be completely entertained.

Attenborough's worked in publishing, he was the initial Controller of BBC2, help create some of the first televised documentaries, has worked extensively in the fields of natural history, and biology, championed the causes of WWF and habitat preservation, written many books and recorded them on audiotape, and has traveled to all sorts of remote and exotic places to film animals and ecosystems. He's had this amazing range of experiences in his life that I would love to hear about.

I would just be fascinated by all the places he's gone and things he has seen. I would love to ask him how different some places look from when he visited them in his early series or about the species of animals (especially birds) that no longer exist or are much rarer now. I would have tons of questions like, what's the most interesting animal that ever pooped on him? Or what animal is his favorite? What's the worst thing that ever happened during filming? Is it totally sweet to be knighted? What was serving in WWII like?

Seriously, I could talk for a month with him and not run out of things to talk about. He's just so coooool!

Vincent the Dog from Lost

I have 3 words for you, my friends: Zombie Patrick SwaYze. He may stink a little and rot on the carpet, but who cares. We can talk about all kinds of stuff. We can talk about Demi Moore's rack, Mad Max clones, the Soviet Union, curing cancer, "The Beast", what duperhero/villain Swayze always wanted to play but never got the chance, the afterlife, etc.

Plus if I get too pissed and start acting violent, he can roadhouse my ass out on the snow until I sober up. That would be sooo cool.

Pete Venkman. Why? It's Peter Venkman! I mean come on the man fought friggin Vigo and Gozer and got slimed by slimer! The stories he would tell of his adventures busting ghosts! Plus we would be joking around and playing tricks on Ray, Egon And Winston! And then we would just hang out at the fire house drinking and eating chinese food. And to top things off we'd take a ride in the good ol' ecto 1! That would rule!

Simple, all the Doctors. It's one guy, but you get 11 of them to talk to at once. And I'd get a sneak preview of the new 11th Doctor before anyone else. Hopefully no one would die or the universe almost end during the 3 day con-fab...

Orson Welles.
I know he's dead, but i'm bringing him back for this scenario. I'm keeping him fat too. Aside from just having an awesome voice that makes anything he says absolutely riveting(I... AM UNICRON), he seems like he'd be full of stories. Hop on youtube and check out some interviews with this guy. He'd be just like that. He'd tell me about his career and his body of work, but mostly he'd go off on some probably partially false story about how he brushed elbows with some other legendary so and so (he said he met Hitler once!), or how he learned what it means to be an artist in his travels to far off lands. He'd work in lots of jokes and introduce foreign words so beautiful and complex that the "english language can't do them justice", each story would provide me with countless life lessons and end with a profound moral, and he'd burn through a whole box of cigars doing it. My end of the conversation would mostly just be "Yeah?! Then what happened?!" cause he'd be dropping so much knowledge and awesome, i'd only barely be able to keep up. And i'm sure we've all seen how hilarious he gets when he's three sheets to the wind.

Wow I can't believe no one took him first, but that's to my benefit: Warren Ellis. He has authored some of the most intense stories I have ever read. See: Transmetropolitan, Crooked Little Vein, the Authority, Planetary, the Global Frequency, N.E.X.T. Wave, etc. The list goes on and on. And his subject matter changes so god damned much. The man can spin a tale like no other. I have to wonder what the guy is like in person. Does he get dizzy with all those crazy ideas swirling around his brain all the time? I'd love to hear how much of himself he puts into each of his stories. We wouldn't even have to drink anything, since the drunker we got, the harder a time I would have understanding what we're both saying. Then again, maybe that would be the most entertaining bit. And once the helicopters find our giant, "HELP" spelled out in rocks on the nearby beach and we hear their telltale "Thoopthoopthoop," sound, we would rush out of our grass hut, waving our arms madly, and after he pulled ahead because I am soft and unfit, I could yell out my idea to turn Desolation Jones into a family-friendly Saturday Morning cartoon just to watch him fall over in shock and laugh at all the sand in his beard as he got up.

...And then he would write a disturbing story that involved three things mainly: A used up roll of duct tape, a wooden chair leg, and the nation of Ireland. I can't predict what else it would be about, because he's just that random. I could predict, however, that it would be a strangely compelling work full of rich characterization and clever dialogue.

My first choice would have been H.p. LoveCraft, but then again he kinda seems like a prick. So I would go for Dan Abnett. He can write a mean sci-fi novel.

Ric Flair. Just to see if I could keep up... cause diamonds are forever, and so is Ric Flair! WOOOO!

Adam West pretending to be Adam West, Mayor of Quoahog (sp?) pretending to be Batman.

I have to go with Stephen King. The man is a master storyteller (any budding writer needs to read his tome on writing) and a pop culture junkie. While Entertainment Weekly might not be the best publication on the subject it is one of the most widely read, and King writes for them only because he wants to and can.

I could explain how video games are amazing and listen to him opine about Maine, friendship, family, pop fiction and violence (great combo) while I play through Portal discussing how video games can deliver the feeling of intruding into someone else's space unlike any other form of entertainment.

Then, I'd probably creep him out by singing along to "Still Alive" and he'd write a great novel about crazed video gamers.

Ahh.. perfect.

A snowed in weekend with mister Danny Elfman! After a few bourbons he'd drop the whole "auteur" thing and then we could get down to some serious mischief! I have a video camera and a casio keyboard... by the end of the weekend we will have created the geekiest, dorkiest, most spastic movie ever made! Imagine the soundtrack!

Millionaires, I tells ya, we'd be Millionaires....

My nerdy drinking buddy would have to be the nerdiest rock star in the lime light (hehe): Geddy Lee. Rush is one of my all time favorite bands, and I'd love to talk to him about he got started, how he met Lifeson and Pert, etc. I think it'd be an amazing conversation with one of the greatest bass players and singers of all time.

Fictional: Colonel Jack O'Neill. Wicked, snarky, sense of humour. I'd ask whether he and Sam ever got it together 'between adventures.'

I've already said my entry, so please skip this one, Rob, but I must share my second choice: Nikola Tesla. Anyone who's read about the man probably knows why.

The second incarnation of the Doctor would be fun, too.

John Cleese would be a blast...

Jonathan Coulton along with Paul, Storm, and any of their friends who wish to join us (a list that includes Felicia Day, Veronica Belmont, Wil Wheaton, Adam Savage, Neil Gaiman, John Hodgman, etc.) would probably be amazing, too.

Gah! There are so many! I'm glad I went with my first impulse instead of stopping to think!

Ford Prefect, the galaxy's ultimate drinking buddy. He'll be able to pay for all the drinks as long as 1: We have made a bonafide attempt to pay for them, 2: Our lives depend on it, or 3: We really want to.

I'd pick Garth Ennis, because he's got some wit and he can probably handle his liquor passably well. I get the impression he's a pretty opinionated dude, so we'd no doubt be able to have some good debates about military history and art and politics.
We'd agree about a lot of stuff, and tell funny jokes about gay Popes and pederast English landlords, but also we'd find plenty to fight about. It'd probably all end in tears and blood, but I'm seven feet tall and can jump really high so I'm certain they would not be mine.

Patton Oswalt and Warren Ellis are both gone, so... Jeph Loeb. I figure three days to talk some sense into the man, to try to stop him from making more terrible comics and ruining TV shows. It'd be a public service bender.

Alive:
Sean Connery
I mean, seriously, why would you not pick him? The Bond films, the girls, the guy is a legend. The stories would be incredible.

Dead:
Robert Heinlein
Picking the brains of one of our founding fathers of science fiction would be awesome.

Douglas Adams
Saw someone else mention this above, and had to agree.

Guilliermo Del Toro, ever seen the dude get rilled up and talk about cinema or folklore? dudes an eloquent rambler.

Charlie Brooker!

One of the greatest directors in history: Brad Bird. From his early days working as an animator on 'The Plague Dogs' through The Simpsons before entering Pixar, to hear his stories, opinions and advice would be so extremely valuble. Just talking about our favourite films for a few hours I imagine would be very rewarding.

im just gonna say it.. eli roth, just cause this mas could do anything, i mean with his friendship with Quentin Tarantino he could have awesome tale, and for fuck's sake he got a flesh eating disease, and after that he got the inspiration to write cabin fever, i mean i think this is one of the smartest guys in the movie industry and the ideas buzzing around his head would be amazing to hear in a drunken fuzzy manner

I'd have to go with Ricky Gervais. Though not a real fanboy-nerd, I think that his comedic contributions have definitely become a part of nerd-life. The man is pretty brilliant comedically and in general. It would be a very entertaining 3 days.

Otherwise, Neil Patrick Harris would be a pretty badass drinking partner. That guy is a superstar whose talents pretty much run the entire gamut of the entertainment industry. How would that not be awesome?

I have to go with Kevin Smith, I'm not even going to scroll up and read how many other people said him already. The man is a god of small talk. And this is coming from some one that owns all 3 "Evening with Kevin Smith" Dvds, listened to all 100 SModcasts, and even saw the guy live after he went on his recent hockey kick.

The guy can make a story about bursting a hemoroid and going to a proctoligist intresting (see "Evening" no.3) Plus he's worked with Marvel, DC, Oni Press, and Dynmite comics, if i get sick of hearing about movies (which hasn't happened yet, after rougthly 150+ plus hours of podcasts)

But yeah, Thats my choice, Only I don't know how He'd ever end up on a ski hill.

That and i found the not having sex thing limiting, beacuse If I've learned anything about him talking, at some point the topic of me sucking him off would comeup.

Uwe Boll. I'd like to ask him a few questions, mainly, "Did you ever actually play the games your movies are based on, or did you just read the strategy guide and some bad fanfiction and write the screenplay based on that?"

Nathan Fillion for sure. Seems like a cool guy to just talk about stuff with.

Derrick Wyatt for number two. Animation/art nerd talk would be endlessly awesome.

Maurice LaMarche would also be a great choice. Not only could he entertain with his cornucopia of voices and impressions, but based on all of the Futurama commentary, he's really funny too. Bonus!

In case that gets annoying, I think that Flight Of The Conchords (yeah, I'm combining them) would be a blast as drinking partners for the weekend. Their antics are hilarious when sober. Imagine them after 3 days of drinking!

Scott McNeil. Just imagine a drunken Dinobot. "Let me vomit in peace vermin, for once I purge my body of these toxins, I shall plop asleep on your couch. The rest.... is silence."

Neal Stephenson.

The man's mind simply works on another nerd plane of existence. His books are full of alternate history but with enough truth to make you look things up.

He puts cryptography in the middle of a novel that you can just ignore or enjoy cracking yourself.

The man wrote a book combining online avatars and bi-cameralism.

Then tops it with a scifi novel that is based in Platonic idealism.

Give me a chance to sit down with this guy and share a bottle of scotch. I want to know what's churning in his mind at any one time.

Live: Ozzy Osbourne
Dead: James Joyce
Fictional: Wolverine

They all have roughly the same tolerance for alcohol, and although your house would probably be trashed afterwards, you'd hear some amazing stories...

Uhm, YOU, sir. And I know someone already said that, so it's their entry, of course. I'm just sayin'. I was there the First Time, if you recall... Expect I'll be there at the last, too.

Did I mention I found a place that delivers STEAK to my house? And a spare room, so bring Mrs. Robot too!

Harlan Ellison, hands down.
We could spend hours talking about all the crap that's on TV and in movies. It would be even more awesome if SciFi was showing a Twilight Zone or Outer Limits marathon. Plus, he'd be fun to watch my Babylon 5 DVD collection with- I bet he would have all kinds of interesting behind-the-scenes stories.

This may be strange but I would love to be stuck inside drinking for three days with Samuel Beckett and just pick his brain. I mean the man was a freaking genius and to get such a chance to have him cornered for three days would be great....also he's Irish so the drinking would be awesome!

It would have to be Alan Moore. Wait, don't go yet. Here's why:
Convos about the deranged inner workings of the superhero mind, drunken alt-myth-rock sessions, attempted Cthulhu summonings while high on 'shrooms, sitting naked in my living room and crafting the best story ever, opium-addled fistfights over the necessity of vodka in my "magic potion". And all of this on day one. Damn you Alan Moore!
Just imagine day three, when I've finally lost it and am hiding in the broom closet with war paint on my body and only a bread knife for protection. As Moore tries to tempt me out with the last half-bottle of schnapps... No. I'm not doing this anymore.

I would choose Macgyver. Apart from the epic stories, if we ran out of alcohol he could build us a still out of some paperclips and a tin of beans.

This is simple. Think about it. There is a single nerd hero that transcends the boundaries of nerddom. There are heroes, nerd heroes, and then, there are superheroes. So I'd go with the original, the archetype, the alpha, the very first one of all.

You should have caught my drift by now, but for those who haven't, I would love to grab a pint with Superman himself, Christopher Reeve. There is not much I (or anyone) can really say about the man that hasn't been said. After all he went through, he still was a shining beacon of hope, and his iron will and determination would make Jerry Siegel and Joe Schuster proud of him.

After the accident, he considered suicide. We all know, of course, that he lived through it. Pushed his way out of the depression he was in, and turned his terrible situation into something better by actively campaigning for the disabled and stem cell research. Hell, the man even kept fit by exercising! Exercising!

So that would be my nerd drinking buddy, if only to have him back with us for one more day, and if only to tell everybody that "hey, I had a drink with Superman." There will be other Batmen, Iron Men, Spidermen, and Paste Pot Petes. As far as I'm concerned, there will only ever be one Superman.

P.S. First question I would ask him would be "Why do you superheroes wear those tights if you don't want to get raped?"

I'd like to be snowed in with anybody who's ever written an FFF, Michael Bay/Stephen Sommers (either one is cool) and anybody who bullied me at school. And not just for three days. For eternity. That way I would never have to stop smashing the empty bottles over their faces, screaming 'YOU'LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY!!!!!'

....Or, failing that, James Rolfe. He's funny, he likes movies and beer and he can rant about video games till the cows come home. And that's all I need....

Yes, I'm a little drunk right now.

StarScream. As frightening as that would be, we could plot overthrowing Megatron and destroying the Autobots in one evil plan. It would be glorious.

Since I wasn't sure if it was limited to characters or actual people, I'll pick one of each.

Real Person - Terence Stamp -

Terence stamp has an acting career that has spanned almost 50 years, and it has been consistently peppered with nerdery. General Zod is obviously his most well known nerd related character, but he also had roles in Alien Nation, The Phantom Menace, Red Planet, Bowfinger, and Elektra. He has played Jor-El in quite a few episodes of Smallville. He has also been a voice in 3 different video games, Elder Scrolls IV, Halo 3, and Weapons of Fate. Once of the most interesting things about his career is that he covered the full spectrum, not just nerd roles. This would give you the opportunity to hear some pretty fantastic non-nerd stories as well. You know he is a nerd deep inside, all it would take would be a glass or 20 of Scotch to open up.

Fictional Character – Gus Gorman from Superman III

The man designed and built a computer that almost overcame Superman, in the early 80's. Can you imagine the idea's and schemes floating around in his head. I cannot begin to fathom the fun and excitement, and possible world domination, that would ensue after a weekend of drinking with him. Not to mention the fact that he was played by Richard Pryor, so that would at least double the shenanigans.

Honorable mention – Phillip K. Dick

Just because I'd like to know once and for all if Deckard was a replicant.

I'd probably get my ass kicked sometime during the night for being unworthy, but I'd love to sit in on the round table of manliness -- Clint Eastwood, Charles Bronson, Lee Marvin, Steve McQueen, and John Wayne. Imagine the stories! Imagine the fistfights! Imagine the bullet holes!

Speaking of bullet holes, sitting around with the Fratelli family in that rundown resturant that's covering the rich stuff (and Sloth) would be interesting.

Or Christopher Titus. You know he'd have hilarious stories about his family and life, plus, he has a habit of falling into bonfires when he drinks.

Or Leslie Neilson, so I can spend the entire night calling him Shirley.

Or, finally, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost at the Winchester, during a zombie attack.

I'm shocked and pleased he's still available, because my choice would most definitely be Jon Stewart. He doesn't wear his nerd credentials on his sleeve as much as Colbert, but oh man you know he's nerd in every possible way - movies, books, sci-fi/fantasy, and of course politics. I think we could spend a solid month debating on absolutely everything, from the minutia of Congressional politics to how exactly someone would ever be able to beat Batman. The best part is, I know he'd even prepare to be snowed in and be read up on all the latest events in DC and Marvel and be ready to break them down, full on nerd style.

For fictional, at first I was going to say Rick Jones, because he's been a fly on the wall for so much of the Marvel Universe, associated with so many of its heroes. But then I thought about how Dr. Hank McCoy has been soooo involved, in many of the teams, knows just about everybody of note, PLUS is a brilliant scientific mind with a wicked wit and philisophic soul. Also, with his mutant metabolism, you know he can hold his alcohol, and probably knows some cool drink recipes to boot (its just biology and chemistry, right?). So he's my choice.
As far as non-fictional (alive), I'd have to go with Neil Gaiman, even though he's been picked already, for all the reasons already mentioned.
Non-fictional (dead) would be Gary Gygax... we could just sit, drink, and GAME!!! and I'd love to hear his stories.

I wanted to post, but everyone I thought of (Neil Gaiman, Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, WIlliam Shatner) had been taken. But then I came up with the ultimate...
God

Now, you may argue that God isn't really a nerd, seeing as he has yet to make clear whether he is a Star Trek or Star Wars fan. But have you read Revelation? I mean, really read it? That shit is the ultimate sci-fi/fantasy plot. Water turning into blood? Check. The sun burning the planet? Check. A horrific monster creature thing? Check. Plus a number of other strange, very science-fictiony occurrences.

And now that I've explained why God is a nerd, you may ask why I selected him. First, he probably doesn't drink, because when you drink you sometimes get drunk, and he seems to frown upon drunkenness. Therefore, all of the alcohol would be for me. Second, HE'S GOD. Need I say more?

The Pope.
Because, to quote Peter Griffin, "he's the freakin' pope!"
I figure, get him drunk enough and he'll let me into the secret vatican vault of 'things man was not meant to know'.
and then afterwards there's always wonderful blackmail material. "Hey Pope? Its me. I got these polaroids of you acting out a FFF with your big hat and an empty bottle of..of.. well actually I cant make out what that bottle was.. that's a very big hat. What? yeah, I think its the x-men one. 10 million dollars? Why yes. I think we do have an agreement."

I'm going to have to say Gary Gygax. I mean the man's game has had such an impact on so many nerd's lives (mine included) and you know he has some amazing stories to share. But mainly, the man loved his roll charts and I would love to see what kind of drinking game he could roll up!

I'm going to have to say Gary Gygax. I mean the man's game has had such an impact on so many nerd's lives (mine included) and you know he has some amazing stories to share. But mainly, the man loved his roll charts and I would love to see what kind of drinking game he could roll up!

Don't really think it will be a massive nerd choice, but my choice would pretty much have to be David Attenborough for two reasonsm the first being that I find his programmes and his love for wildlife both fascinating and amazing. And the second reason is that if I could pick anyone to read me bedtime stories after a few gin and tonics, it would be david attenborough. He has by far the most amazing voice in the world and I would guess some astonishing stories.

Real person? Tom Baker. The man has been a notorious lush since the 70's and he just becomes more off-the-wall the older he gets. I'd love to hear his stories about Doctor Who. Not about the episodes, but about what went on behind the scenes. I can imagine him making dirty jokes about his "sonic screwdriver" and settling the score about just how much of a sex freak Lalla Ward was behind closed doors. Plus, I can imagine him discussing the overt sexuality in Little Britain while not being able to control the volume of his voice in a public bar.

Fictional Character? Darth Vader. I can see him getting slowly and surely drunk, then using his cell phone to call the admirals of his fleet and ordering them to do stupid shit like barnstorming the Coruscant skyline or entering a star destroyer in the Mos Espa podrace just to watch the spectators crap. Then drunkenly admitting to be totally gay for Boba Fett. Unfortunately the night would end up with him crying into his beer and bitterly referring to Padme as "That tightass Jedi humper."

Doc

Warren Ellis.
I would love to talk to him about Transmetropolitan and whether/how it reflects his own views on politics and world.
It would also be immensely entertaining to see whether or not he actually consumes the prodigious amounts of alcohol he sometimes claims and how it affects him.

As for a fictional character, I'd say Spider Jerusalem, except that I value my intact face and not being glued to a bar stool by shit.
So, instead I'll say Malcom Reynolds. That'd probably be interesting. Especially if it were Unification Day...

The A-Team. Why? Why are you even asking me why? It's the bloody A-Team.

BTW, there is considerable shame in the fact that only two people here have suggested Carl Sagan.

I would have to say Rob Bricken.
I think that conversations (both the sober and the intoxicated ones, hell especially the intoxicated ones) would be highly entertaining.
I would also love to pick his brain over the intricacies of various anime titles as well as what seperates good collectibles from the bad ones.
I would love to discuss, in depth, all that is He-Man.
We could listen to all kinds of fanboy rock and watch our nerdy brethren both amaze and embarass us in different internet videos.

And then I would introduce Rob to Spellcheck.

It would be a grand time.

Dead serious- Robert Osborne. You know, the guy with the movie trivia fetish on TCM? We'd drink like W.C. Fields, quote Groucho Marx at each other, admit to crushes on Gene Kelley and talk so much shit on that weird-beard wiener newbie they got for daytime, Ben Mankiewicz.

And it doesn't hurt that the man looks like he knows his way around a Monte Cristo sandwich.

Carrie Fisher!! Have you read/seen Wishful Drinking? Hot damn the woman is hilarious! She's a recovering everything-addict and likes to cook, so we'd stock up my enormous kitchen and bake the weekend away! Bonus: the smells emanating from the kitchen would drive my stupid downstairs tenants insane and they would either pledge their lives in SILENT servitude (note the emphasis, YOU DO NOT NEED TO PRACTICE YOUR ELECTIC GUITAR AT 4AM!!) or off themselves because they can't break through my very sturdy lock. I WIN!!!

Marvin the depressed robot from the hitchhiker's guide series. I could sit with him and talk about anything and he'd bring up some devastatingly horrible thing to end the conversation and we'd start one anew. It would be just like any other drunken conversation but I'd be having it with the most intelligent being in the universe.

No question Joe Eszterhas. It'd be drunken whiskey film school. His book The Devil Goes to Hollywood was awesome and hilarious and I can only imagine the stories that he can tell in person.

Many of which start So I was fucking... or You know who is a real asshole...

The original geek babe and first programmer - Ada Lovelace. Even if I can't have sex with her (I'm married to the hottest geek babe, anyway).

Chuck Jones or Ken Harris. Both are amazing animators and worked on THE best looney tunes cartoons of all time (what's opera, doc?, duck amuck, one frogging eveing, rabbit of seville, etc.) It would be awesome to hear everything they would have to say about cartoons from their time, as well as ones of today.

EDDIE DEEZEN. Straight up mutha f**king EDDIE DEEZEN!

Micheal Cerra.I think I'd manage to feel like the least socially awkward person in the room for once. Plus, he's hilarious and adorable in a kitten in the rain kind of way. And I would love to listen to a drunken rant coming out of the mouth of that guy.

Kitty Pryde. My personal favorite, I bet she has tons of cool phasing stories, plus she's been an x-man forever, so lots of gossip.

Hmmm...there'd be four people I'd have to have the perfect drinking session with. First, I'd be starting out with Clarence 'Ducky' Nash, the original voice of Donald Duck. We'd start light, having a few drinks with a meal and making pleasant chit chat to learn about each other's lives and professions. Halfway through the meal, Alan Young, the voice of Scrooge McDuck from Ducktales (and pretty much all the modern cartoons) would come sit over with us as well. We'd then order the good stuff, the heavy stuff, stuff involving whiskey and vodka mixed with sour mix and coke (the drink, not the drug). The conversations would then start taking place in the character's voices instead of their regular speaking voices. Hearing Donald Duck and Scrooge McDuck drunk would be priceless.

But that's not the end of it. Overhearing our drunken revelry, Carl Barks and Keno Don Rosa, two of the most popular Duck/McDuck comic writers ever made, would come over and join us in drinks, coming up and discussing all the wild adventures they wrote and drew over the years, with the two voice actors re-enacting scenes in the voice. And after the REALLY heavy shit, Barks and Nash (Nash still vocalizing as Donald Duck) would start revealing the real dirt about working at Disney studios in the Golden Age. No truth would be left unspoken.

Although an unlikely choice for most nerds, I would totally choose Kryten. Let me explain: I'm not much of a drinker. I'm not much of a housekeeper, either. If Kryten was snow-bound in my home for several days, he would clean EVERYTHING... and find it all very satisfying. Laundry would be folded, sock drawers would be organised, dishes would be washed, windows would sparkle and toilet bowls would shine! Even better, when he was all done, he would probably love to kick back with a pair of knitting needles or be thrilled to do some scrapbooking. All I would need to do is make sure he felt appreciated.

As an unexpected bonus, per the contest rules, Kryten doesn't even HAVE genitalia.

Peter Parker/Spiderman. And though he's fictional, I'm going to go with for whatever reason I know his identity and history. I want to sit down and have an extended 3 day talk with him where he can't duck out and where he explains how and why he's entirely wasted his intellect.
I mean, the guy invented a web serum and spider tracers when he was, what, 16? And meanwhile the *best* thing he can think of to do with his brains is take photographs and barely makes rent? The FF know who you are - why not get Richards, or Pym to fund some research? They've clearly made the effort before. Or why not modify the spider tracer tech and sell it to the police?
Seriously, can a single goddamned writer of Spiderman (other than JMS) possibly address this? I mean, Spiderman IS a nerd. He's chock full of useless trivia. He's a goddamned science geek who occasionally applies his knowledge to take out a villain (like the thousands of times he's taken out Sandman or Electro), he's travelled the universe, interacts with the smartest people on earth on a regular basis... but meanwhile the best he can do is freelance photography? Someone seriously needs an intervention. And 3 days stuck snowed in is the perfect time for that to happen.

Nick Nolte

he likes a drink or 2

and he plays a loud guitar too..

I want to toss a few back with TLoZ’s Link. I know that may sound bizarre but hear me out then let it sink in.
/
Do you have any idea how incredible it would be to hang out and get plastered with Link? Being one of Nintendo’s more stoic mascots, it’d be interesting to see him let his hair down, if only for the chance to dawn that bitchin’ cap (a respectable replica of which I could never find). To begin with, the guy always sounds bombed out, what with his constipated gibberish (all that “Eiiiii-AHHHH”, “Err-AACKK”, “Tch-eh”, and “Umph”), so seeing how his linguistic gifts evolve with an infusion of liquid bravado would be priceless. Then I can debate him on the merits of the Master Sword verses the first sword in each game, given the amount of energy it takes to obtain the former; a debate made all the more satisfying given my previous point. Then there are the activities. Jamming on wind instruments, simulating the game-play (by which I mean regularly taking and hiding his shit for him to find over and over again), and fun time with weapons. Who hasn’t wanted to get drunk and play with dangerous items, believing themselves to be invincible/intrinsically skilled? In this way, Link’s magic satchel arsenal is every boy/man-boy’s wet dream. And at least with Link you’ll have healing fairies to repair the inevitable carnage.
/
But the best part is that he’d be the perfect person to help me with some neighbor problems. Between the booze and the power of suggestion (in this case my blue laser pointer and the repeated use of “Hey, listen!”), I bet I can convince him that it’s imperative to enter my neighbor’s “dungeon” to retrieve the “thunderhammer” (a.k.a. the hammer I lent him 18 months ago that he can’t seem to find). It helps that my neighbor is an egotistic muscle-bound redhead with a weird-ish tan. Along the way, he can swipe the hideous fireproof red tunic/track suit, subdue the shrieking hellhound terrier boss, and maybe smash some containers in the pursuit of rupees. And after a productive night of getting Medieval on my neighbor’s shit, we can chill out on the couch to watch fishing/horseback riding/archery on the Sports and Outdoors channel.
/
Which brings me to the evening’s final endeavor: elf streaking. I’m secure enough in my persons to admit that I’d gladly weather a hangover for the chance to see a pantsless Link tearing down a snowy suburban street crying out to Din, Farore, and Nayru. Of course I’d hook him up with some hot cocoa and aspirin the next day. Least I can do.

Im going to take the liberty of a one real/one fictional person also. You gotta make these things more clear!

The real person is easy as hell. I've always wished I had an hour to shoot the shit with Akira Kurosawa. The man is an absolute inspiration to everything I've ever held dear. He has single-handedly created or built the foundations of every major genre of film and/or story-telling I enjoy watching and he undoubtedly would be well versed for a fantastic discussion of the other giants in the field. This decision is only further strengthened by my intense Nipponophilia and the fact that Kurosawa was such a strong and direct influence on the Star Wars series.

If it was a fictional character, Id have to say Cid from the Final fantasy series. Holy shit! That guy has literally seen everything there is to see. While various heroes come and go throughout the tales, Cid has been a constant presence and a contributing factor in every single one. This guy has seen the rise and fall of more dynasties, evil powers and world-wide cataclysms than fifty men ever should and he lives to tell the tale and lend a helping hand. Truly, one of the great "behind the scenes" guys, I would love to kick back some brews with him and hear some old war tales.

My choice has already been taken, but I really do not give a rat's ass: Neil Gaiman.
Great Author, great thinker, great speaker and doesn't usually rise from bed till past noon, in essence, the perfect drinking buddy. A guy who can talk about comics, mythology and the decay of the American Mid-west, without having to leave the pub for a pesky 9-5 shift. Plus, there is the added bonus of Gaiman being buddys with Alan Moore, so there is a likely chance that Moore could join us in our drinking, hopefully decked out in a 3 wolves t-shirt. It would be fantastic....scotch, good company, and the potential to discuss H.P. Lovecraft....

Ub Iwerks; mainly just to hear about all the crazy shit he couldn't show to Walt.

Tetsuya Nomura for me! but we'd have to be in his childhood home in the Kochi Prefecture (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C5%8Dchi_Prefecture) which, i imagined, to be as scenic as it is a frozen HELL during winter for someone to develop a VERY active imagination.

we'd probably spend the majority of our time on the porch/foyer, overlooking the snowed-in gardens while some poor sap is cursing very colorfully while shoveling the lawn next door. then, over some warm sake and the occasional bloody mary, i'll be grilling him for all of the questions that mattered to a japanerd such as myself, like:

1. what the HELL is going on in kingdom hearts?

2. will we ever see Kingdom Hearts III in our lifetime?

3. is riku gay? is sora gay? are riku and sora gay for each other?

4. is roxas gay? is axel gay? are axel and roxas gay for each other?

5. why is it that Final Fantasy XIII is so much "meh", while its "Versus" spin-off is made of so much "WHOA!" ?

6. what are his plans for the Parasite Eve spin-off, "The 3rd Birthday"? sucky, resident-evil like combat like the second, or a return to the awesome original?

7. seven reasons why ventus (Birth by Sleep) and zack fair (Crisis Core) seemed waaaaaaay too similar to each other

of course, the resulting discussions would probably take more than three days, but i don't mind. so long as the mysteries are finally solved and put to rest. and all this along the falling snow, too.

There are three people i'd love to spend locked away with and have a few beers...

First, Kevin Peter Hall, i mean this guy was the Predator and Harry from Harry and the Hendersons.

Second, Kane Hodder, I mean this guy was Jason Vorhees for a ton of Friday the 13th movies.

In each case i would like to talk to them about experiences on the set and then discuss where they think the characters they originated are today compared to when they took on the role. If i could get both of them then we'd create a new movie, Predator vs Jason.

The third person would be George A Romero. I would ask him about Horror movies and where the genre is going and then get insight into how he came up with ideas and then we'd hash out a new ______ of the Dead!

Man... all the good ones are already taken. I have to think outside the box... USING SCIENCE!!!

I would choose one of thoose sexbots Rob loves writing about. Instead of only getting one drinking buddy, I could program it with the mixed personalities of Alan Moore, Christopher Lee, Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman and the Angry Video Game Nerd. I don't drink any alcohol, but I would probably start after a weekend with sexy Mooleechettman Nerd. SCIENCE!!!

What? No one has choosen Ed Wood, the greatest director of all time? Then I pick him as my buddy.

I would choose Hitler and ask him if he could find a "solution" to our Mexican problem. :)

Eiichiro Oda, the creator of One Piece. Just so I can ask him what he's on and where I can get some. In which case, when I finally manage to get my hands on said drug, I can hatch my plan to create an immensely amazing and popular shonen manga series and RULE THE WORLD... of manga, that is.

Jesse Custer. Because once you drink with him once you'll be friends forever, and i'd rather have him on my side.

I have to say I've been hesitating between many incredible individuals who have changed the world with their body and/or mind, like Arnold Schwarzenegger or King Diamond. If this was about a fictional character maybe I could go with Sport Billy or Cobra Commander but here I am, thinking about drinking hard and speaking nonsense with someone during a whole weekend and I guess the most awesome guy to spend time with would be Mr. T.

This god among the living has done so many amazing things in his life, like being a movie/tv star, kicking butts and redefining badassery, even through geekness such as World of Warcraft commercials. Not only would this weekend be about actually chatting but mostly drinking manly, pitying the fool.

Joss Whedon...fellow nerd who would probably be happy to jam about any geektastic topic that popped into my head.

But more importantly, I'd get him drunk and get him to tell me how future seasons of Firefly and Dollhouse would have gone. Or ate least get him to commit to working on comic books series continuing both...with a little help from yours truly, of course.

Oh, and at least one of our drinking sessions would end with us TP-ing Fox headquarters.

Ricky Jay, several bottles of Scotch and Drambuie, and a few decks of cards! Have you seen this guy? Here's a random clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1ZGIN0UqJE

(I love that title, "Ricky Jay penetrates a watermelon." A future FFF classic!)

We could talk about Deadwood and the history of magic, and maybe I could get him to show me the proper way to throw cards, Bullseye style. Then, if he did, when we got thoroughly sloshed we could start breaking stuff on the other side of the room with cards.

Then he'd probably take all my money in a poker game (anyone would have to be really drunk to play cards with this guy), but it would be a small price to pay.

Neil Gaiman. Iduno, i'm a pretty big fan. I'd pick his brain about his writing process. I'm sure he's a nerd too so if he didn't want to divulge his secrets of success, i guess we'd just talk about fantasy stories or some shit. but look, too his credit this guys has worked on everything. The Sandman graphic novel series, Stardust, Coraline, Marvelman, he wrote the script for Beowulf, the english version of Princess Mononoke, Babylon 5 episodes, and soon an episode of Dr. Who. GEEKY ENOUGH FOR YA?

I'd also be able to talk about classic literature, because Gaiman knows his Keats.

I see plenty of people multiple entries, so here are mine for Alive, Dead and fictional.

First up, Bill Murray. Because, if there's one thing I learned from Zombieland, it's that he wont shy away from reenacting scenes from Ghostbusters with me. And then, once we're drunk enough, I could show him the badly written script for a third GB film I came up with in the ninth grade. And by "show" I mean very embarrassingly act the whole thing in front of him, obviously! He'd be just drunk enough to think it was brilliant, but as the alcohol get the better of us, and very luckily for the rest of the world I'm sure, he will have forgotten it by morning.

As for dead, I'd go with Bob Kane, creator of Batman. So we can drink up while watching the films, see what he really thought of them. Get smashed out of our minds over the Schumacher "films" and we could see if we could come up with a good sequel idea for Nolan's Dark Knight, if anyone is qualified, it's drunken Bob Kane.

Last but not least, Zaphod Beeblebrox! I saw that Arthur Dent and Ford Prefect have already been taken, and great choices they are, but I think the President of the Galaxy would make a much better drinking buddy. First off, he has two heads! That's twice the drunken banter. And let's remember that he was the one who actually invented the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, the best drink in existence; so even if it can't be mixed on earth (due to several weapons treaties and some troublesome laws of physics), I take it he must know his alcohol really well. Sure, he's a bit self-centered, but that gives him a unique edge to telling his crazy stories.

I Know you said only one entry per person Rob, but what can I say, I overcompensated because I grew up fat.

Bill Murray no question. Growing up I watched Ghostbusters over 150 times. Groundhog Day is now my second favorite holiday with required showings. The last few years he's beein more intriguing that ever from the roles he's taken to stories of him running up to people saying hello and telling them no one would ever believe it. Plus, we could play Ghostbusters for hours like on Zombieland.

Daniel Suarez author of Daemon.
Dudes got some ideas...

My pick of who I would like to be trapped with would be...
Nobody.
Beacause I have such a high opinion of my heros that I think that the illusion would be shattered. To meet somebody for any length of time means to come to know them as a person. I don't want to know the person, I want the myth of them to live on in my head.

Clancy Brown. He's the kurgan for fuck's sake! and also the voice of lex luther. We could fake swordfight and plot the downfall of that annoying Kryptonian.

Steve Jackson I guess.
I played all his games drunk, so it wouldn´t be to much a stretch.
Also I´m already waiting to be fully converted into a Munchkin monster card real soon.

Mary and Pippin. They are hobbits so they knew both the best places to eat and drink and would always be up for going out for a pint. And what would that be like, better than everyones elses drinking buddy does h. P. Lovecraft get drunk and dance on the table singing junty songs? Sure Kevin smith can eat but which more fun when your drunk going through taco bell drive through listening to endless facts about greenarrow or stealing food from crazy old farmers in the dead of night. Plus Mary and pippen would be awesome wingmen, a vital quality most of you are forgetting - is Christopher lee going to let you get any or more likely take itall for himself and I am sure Christopher walkin would scare away women. Mary and pippin would prentice to me my kid - then I can use the single dad recently widowed ploy. Oh and the stories they could tell about the war of the ring and the fellowship. In closing I would choose Mary and pippin because they themselves are looking for a new drinking buddy now that frodo moved away and Sam settled down.

The only person I want to be snowed in with is my husband, but he is at least little bit nerdy so I hope he counts. :)

I'd love to come out with something truly and epically nerdy, but my mind didn't waste time before leaping to the same place it always does when people ask me these sorts of questions. Oscar Wilde. And it doesn't matter if we can't bang because he wouldn't be interested in me like that anyway, being a flaming homosexual and all.

The two of us would spend the weekend drunk off our asses, trading witty banter, maybe working on some sort of play over the weekend. In the end, when we were shoveled out by the people who created zombie Oscar, and we are forced to part ways even though we would have become BFFs, he would casually toss off a comment about seeing me next season and a promise to write, even inviting me to the labratory he is being kept in the country side for a few weeks for some fresh air.

i dunnno if someone said it already but homer simpson. duff beers on me. hes got some good stories to tell. plus when were both all sauced up that shit would be fun as hell! jazz to moon base 2!

Mickey Rourke. we all know that guys a badass, he seems like a nice guy actually, and he could talk about the upcoming 'iron man'. and playing Marv. Oh, and we all know that dude's got a ton of demons just waiting to come out once liquor is applied. A night out of drinking with Mickey Rourke I think would test a person's fortitude, knowledge, booze tolerance and how to stop a guy from offing somebody with a claw hammer.
Mickey Rourke. all the way. please Powers that Be make this happen

Alan Moore. Though, if I was in his presence, I doubt I could conjure anything coherent to say. I'm awed by his writing ability, he has written so many absolutely game-changing comic books, and...well look at him. He's frickin' Mountain Man Scary Looking!!! Intimidation central. But, even if I could only squeak out "I'm not worthy!" and cringe at his feet for the evening, at least I could say that I was in the presence of greatness.

I'd have to go with Roger Ebert, the subject of one of my bizarre, nerdy man crushes. I have ate up everything this guys written since I was a youngling. We both share a love for and extensive knowlege of cinema and thus will probably begin our time drinking while he shares his fondest memories and experiences from his extensive 40+ year career(hopfully after a couple of shots in him he will tell a saucy tale of a wild night out with Mel Brooks,Felleni,John Waters and Gene Wilder all packed into a small euro car cruising around the cannes red light district). After weve had more than a few rounds we will begin a movie marathon based on films weve selected in our slighly intoxicated state. The man's a brilliant film commantator, one cant help but wonder how badass his commenatary would be after hes got a good amount of scotch and rum in him. So we would spend our three days constantly liquored up, watching fine cinema(maybe switching in a Russ Meyer film or two)laughing, criticing, debating and generally having a hell of a time.

Chewbacca would be my ultimate drinking buddy. As he has no woman problems, I don't have to worry about him getting sappy or touchy-feely. He isn't chatty. He can handle his own in a bar fight. Most importantly he can handle his liquor if Australians challenge us to a drinking contest. From six years in the Navy I have plenty of bar experience. Chewbacca is the guy I would want with me.

Stephenie Meyer. Really. For all these people being mentioned in the other comments, you can extract whatever information, curiosity, opinion you want by emailing them or interacting with their blogs, twitter, etc.

But Stephenie needs a real alcohol-driven tete-a-tete charity drive on not screwing with the culture of current teens and vampire lore in general.

I'm surprised nobody's said Newton or Einstein. it would be a little hard to chose between the two. with Einstein there are a lot of questions about thermodynamics I'd love to ask and I'd love to conspire with him against the forces of Quantum Mechanics :) with Newton, I'd love to know what he was up to with his alchemy. folks probably don't know it, Newton spent way more years and effort on occultist subjects like alchemy than physics. plus he was actually sort of nuts too. and those wigs...

I would have to go with John Williams as he has created some of my favorite movie music. Plus with as many awards and honors he has received over the years along with the people he has worked with I'm sure he'd have some interesting stories to tell. Most importantly though, if I got him drunk enough I just might be able to convince him to compose me my very own theme song and that would make the whole being snowed in issue completely worthwhile.

The first person I thought of was Kevin Smith.
I've been listening to his podcasts for forever and the man does one hell of a commentary on his movies. He's MASTER of the conversation.
I envision us snowed in watching TV box sets and stupid YouTube videos while we smoke pot and have conversations about ridiculous and extreme situations being taken WAY too far.
I'm down for doing crazy Paris Hilton voices and talking about dolphin sex.

Even though they were already mentioned, im going to have to go with the MST3K crew. Just so i can finally have my dream of getting drunk and making Mystery Porn Theater 3000. Im not saying just any type of porn though, i mean porn thats more like a horror/mystery porn. We'll probably just end up yelling, "Dont go in there!!!" a bunch of times.

Frosty the snowman! I could shove a nice bottle of vodka up his whazzoo to keep it at nice chilled 40 degrees! Plus when I was done I'd melt his ass and keep the hat until I needed another cold drink... HAPPY BIRTHDAY... chilled vodka... melt... repeat! Fun for the whole family!

This took a couple of minutes to come up with, but I would probably go with Lorne Michaels. I mean, he is and has been one of the most prominent faces in the comedy industry. He's dealt with the biggest names in film, television and music for over three decades. The carers of probably half the highest grossing stars in that time period have come out of Saturday Night Live, under his production. I am pretty sure that he must have one or two or a hundred and eighty stories to tell.

Adrian Edmonson, who played Vyvyan on The Young Ones. In character, he would be amazing to hang out with/drink with because he would most certaintly intentionally or inadverdently kill you and/or break your house. It would be entertaining.

Well, Stephen and Hugh have been taken, but either of them would be really cool.
I would have to say out of those who are dead: Oscar Wilde or Frida Kahlo. Either of those is going to end in one hell of a story to tell. (Although if Oscar drinks Absinthe I don't want any, that stuff is fun but tastes like shit)
Out of those living and not mentioned (I think)
Roger Daltrey, who I have met EXTREMELY briefly.(after a show) He seems like he is generally a really nice guy and us some funny stuff about the band (I'd love to hear more stories about those days...he must have a ton about Keith)

Weird Al.

We're both non-drinkers, which is a plus. We both look fairly non-threatening, so we're not going to have to worry about any bar fights. And, I mean, come on, we're certainly not going to be hit on by women anytime soon, and even then, we're both married.

Why Al? The man has advanced ALL of nerd-dom in sooooo many ways. Music, movies, MTV videos, sold out arenas, the man has done it. He made being a nerd about as cool as it is going to get.

I know she was my answer in a previous contest, but I gotta go with Christina Hendricks. She’s my first celebrity crush in a really long time, and I’m head-over-heels. And don’t worry; there wouldn’t be any “indiscretion”, as I’d be too intimidated to even consider propositioning. C’mon. What’s nerdier than an awkward dude too timid to approach a pretty girl? As for the evening, I’d plan for us to pour a few glasses of wine, settle down by the fire, and discuss Mad Men, Firefly, and character acting, as well as opinions on modern storytelling. After the storm had passed and the roads were fit to drive, I’d hail her a cab, escort her out, and thank her for the pleasure.
(Hey, I’m a romantic. Sue me.)

I would have to say JJ Abrams. Damn, that man has done some stuff. And he's only gonna get better. From Alias to Fringe to the reboot of Star Trek, man he's got it going on. I would love to sit down with him and chat.

There are two people I can think of that I would like to sit down to drinks with.
Actors Terry O'Quinn and Lance Henrikson.

These two men are two of my favorite actors.

Do you have any idead how many nerdy movies Lance Henrikson has been in? Have you seen his filmography? He has been in a lot of movies and TV shows.
My first exposure to Henrikson was Chris Carter's Millenium. I have now seen a great deal of the films he has appeared in but not all because there are still so many. I would love to sit down over drinks with him and just ask questions and let him talk about his career. I would ask him about all the actors and directors he has worked with. And this would lead eventually lead to me asking him aobut Terry O'Quinn so it would be even better if O'Quinn was there.

Lance Henrikson and Terry O'Quinn starred together on Chris Carter's Millenium. Terry O'Quinn had a mustache back them. I would ask O'Quinn if he would ever consider bringing back his mustache because it was pretty great mustache he had.
And of course I would ask Terry O'Quinn about Lost. I would tell him about my theory that the island is time travel fortress from so far in the future with such advanced technology it looks like magic to us and Jacob and his nemesis are the islands artificial intelligence life form programs that run the island and the reason they cannot attack each other directly is because they are both a part of the island and to harm the other would violate their programming.
And I would ask Terry O'Quinn what it is like as an actor doing what he is now doing on Lost. He spent the last few years playing John Locke. Now he is playing a completely different character using Locke's form and he spent the last few episodes of last season playing that character pretending to be Locke. What kind of experience is that for him as and actor?

Now there is a catch to all of this. Lance Henrikson and Terry O'Quinn would do all of the drinking.
The thing is I do not drink, at all. I have only ever once tasted and alcoholic beverage and that was many years ago and I do not plan to have another any time soon.

So I would like to sit down and talk with Lance Henrikson and Terry O'Quinn while they drink and I ask them questions and listen to what they have to say. Maybe if they get a little tipsy they will spill some really insteresting storys about people like James Cameron and Chris Carter or JJ Abrams or what was the deal with the cheese from that one episode of...
Oh wait now I am thinking of a different showt that neither of them were on.
Wierd how that happens.

Oh christ. Other then my wham bam first choice automatically being Sn00dle, (my love, HAI BB YEAH IT'S ME [/waves]) and then there would be Jezza. Jeremy Clarkson, a host from Top Gear. Entertaining guy, I could just sit there and watch him talk. Just ask him questions like "What's the worst thing that's happened to Hammond on TG other then the faceplanting into the dirt at 400 mph?"

I won't even start on questions for Jezza because I've got list about a mile long.

Karl Urban, because he's been in so much of my favorite movies, I'd ask him about how it was like on the sets, how he picked his roles...

Eric Kripke, lord. Srsly, I could pick his brain ALL night about spn. And I would. Just ask him about everything but keep him from telling me about the end of the series. I would fire my theories at him about where the series is going but he would just smile with a twinkle in his eye...

Well that's four isn't it?

Damn.

When I first read about this contest I automatically knew I would choose Terry Pratchett, the author of Discworld, to drink with. Then I started to think about it: Terry Prachett is a writer, we would be snowed in for three days, and I am a female nerd with poor people skills... This could only end like the movie Misery.

It would start out innocently enough and I would show him my pig Sam Vimes, but one thing would lead to another and by Sunday afternoon I will be hobbling Terry Pratchett with a block of wood and a sledgehammer.

Frank Morrison Spillane or better known as Mickey Spillane, the father of Mike hammer, the original hard boiled detective. The man started his career writing for golden age Superman, Batman, Captain Marvel, and Captain America and then fought in World War 2 as a fighter pilot. One of his first jobs was working as a trampoline artist at the circus. It would be awesome to drink with this guy, cause when he gets really plastered he'll run his stories in such a magnificent mess you can't help help but be entertained. Imagine hearing an old Mickey say, "I gave Batman his detective skills, but they wouldn't let me write him going to bars and picking up hookers. They never give me credit for the flying graysons. Fuck bob krane."

The answer is simple. I would choose Kevin Bacon so I can use myself in the Six Degrees game, which might be the nerdiest reason of all.

My pick is a man whose nerdery has reached such heights that is it questionable as to whether or not he stood in this plane of existence; Rod Serling.
We would unlock doors into the imagination beyond which is another dimension; a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. We would move into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. Our drunken stupor would throw us into.... The Twilight Zone!

Jane Goodall, hands down
The woman is remarkable. Vast inelligence, sharp wit, wise, passionate, compassionate, driven, worldly, and just the right type and amount of crazy to put her among the greats. I would love to pick her brain on social constructs in primate, and maybe if we get really smashed we can pick parasites out of each other's hair. Yes, I'd put parasites on my head to be picked out by drunk Jane Goodall. And a drinking contest is a must. But before then, what I'd love to hear is her take on how primate social development gave rise to the earliest proto-cultures and their residual remnants in universally accepted standards of morality, and some select sub-cultures. Furthermre, I'd like to hear from the biological perspective about the role that those social norms we evoked and have been conditioned to adhere to play on the internet wherein, through anonymity, one is free from substantive social sanctions. There are a thousand and one other topics I'd want to broach too, but I'll save them for after we finish playing with the baby chimps.

Jor-El. And I would spend all three days trying to get him to do the Godfather voice. Then (time permitting) I would ask some questions about the nature of the universe.

The Doctor. From Doctor Who. Tennant.

I'm going for broke with mine. I want to drink with both James Doohan and Simon Pegg BOTH playing Scotty. We would burn down every single bar on Rigel 7!

Damn, dude. This contest's results won't be out til Friday.
I'll say Burt Reynolds

I'd have a blast having drinks with Rob Bricken

I would have to say Morgan Freeman, on top of being a brilliant actor he comes across as an interesting guy as well. However I think that the real clincher is that voice. Who needs working genetalia with a voice like that.

Echiiro Oda, the creator of One Piece.

Consider the crazy shit that man comes up with for his manga while sober, the stuff that would come up while drunk would be... to awsome for words.

Plus we both like huge boobs, so there is much common ground

This one is easy, Sigmund Freud. After he tells me everything I've ever thought or desired is related to violent thoughts, sex, or good old homo-eroticism, he will then proceed to do the same thing with everyone else in the room in between snuffs of cocaine. I would find it hilarious and then proceed to do it all over again another night. Drinking with a coke addled insane man who relates everything back to violence or sex would be hilarious in my book, especially once other people agree and proceed to curl into a ball because of it.

This one is easy, Sigmund Freud. After he tells me everything I've ever thought or desired is related to violent thoughts, sex, or good old homo-eroticism, he will then proceed to do the same thing with everyone else in the room in between snuffs of cocaine. I would find it hilarious and then proceed to do it all over again another night. Drinking with a coke addled insane man who relates everything back to violence or sex would be hilarious in my book, especially once other people agree and proceed to curl into a ball because of it.

My choice would definitely be Boris Karloff. From everything I've read about him, he just seems like he'd be a wonderful man. Plus, his voice is so pleasant that he would soothe my claustrophobia. Also, I would finally be able to hear all about his relationship with Bela Lugosi. Did Lugosi really treat him as a rival, or were they friends? Did they ever team up to fight real monsters in their spare time? Because I'd like to think they did. In fact, I'd use my conversations with him as the basis for a kickass book about their adventures.

Real - Orson Scott Card
Getting to chat with him about the Ender universe could certainly entertain me for a few days, plus he I really enjoyed his run on the Ultimate Iron Man comics.

Fictional - Guy Gardner
He's a Douchebag and he's entrusted with one of the most powerful weapons in the universe, plus it would just be fun to hear him bitch about Hal Jordan and the Guardians.

I know this is too late but I'm in fucking India so cut me some slack.

I'd pick Sigourney Weaver. That way I could tell her I love her other work but couldn't bring myself to see Avatar.

I realized that most of the first things I pirated from Usenet (and still have on my computer) involve her in some way. Aliens, Ghostbusters, and "Planet Earth" would all be on my laptop, and I'd play them on mute and make her read her lines out loud.

Sigourney Weaver is a motherfucking G.

Bill Watterson. With a good supply of pens and bar napkins I'd ask him to continue drawing Calvin & Hobbes.
I'd also try to presuade him to come out of hiding and create more comic strips professionally.

A Muppet would make the best drinking partner. you never know what they will do next.

Simon Pegg.

He's made his geekhood rather obvious...I mean for christ sake, there's a photo of him floating around being held hostage by Stormtroopers. And he's as big of a Romero fan as I am, so we'd have plenty to talk about. And he was bloody brilliant in Spaced.

My second choice would be Neil Gaiman. He's a genius and has contributed to my geekdom over the years. Not to mention, he's dating Amanda Palmer. And I'd love to hear stories about her. For hours.

Gene Roddenberry off the top of my head.

Also, seriously Rob, at least watch the first episode of Stargate SG1. Hulu has ALL of the episodes online... What more do you need?!

Last fucking minute OMFG!!!!

Stephen King. Nobody has warped my mind in such a cool (and irrevocable!) way, EVER. Like King. I read The Stand when I was probably 10-11 and never looked at the world the same way again- my innocence and faith in the goodness of the world were destroyed with that book- and I LIKED IT!

That, and the Dark Tower series. Fuck yes.

Tolkien.

Tolkien, Tolkien, Tolkien.

That is all.