Tweets from the Death Star: And the Winners Are...

By Rob Bricken in Movies, Nerdery
Monday, June 21, 2010 at 5:01 pm
Everyone. Everyone is a winner -- everyone who entered the Tweets from the Death Star contest, hell everyone who just read 'em. The contest had nearly 500 comments -- meaning about 2500 entries, since it was five "tweets" per person -- which made for a whole lot of nerdy entertainment. And I can prove it, too!

For instance, I don't think a single TR list or article or contest has ever gotten as many tweets as this thing -- 170! Second, ScifiWire was so bemused that they made their own Top 20 list out of my contest, which is actually very weird when you think about it, but whatever. Last and certainly not least, one bright lad actually started a DeathStarTweets account at Twitter, where he's been tweeting not only the best tweets from the contest, but a few of his own. You definitely need to follow him if you're on Twitter.

See? Told you I could prove it. Now before you hit the jump, please understand that many people did not pay strict attention (or didn't give a shit) and just made general Star Wars tweets. I allowed these people to get Honorable Mentions, because why the hell not. Now check out some of the finest tweets to emanate from the Death Star.

Ooh -- one more thing before we start -- just to clarify. People who are sending the tweets are labeled as the name followed by a colon. Any name with an "@" in front of it is a person being replied to. Some entries don't have names, just people they're tweeting, as it were. Which is fine. A few HMs have more than one tweet listed; tweets listed directly after each other are part of a conversation, tweets separated by a space have nothing to do with each other. Anyways, on with the show.

MattK said:
TK421: Nocked out, yelld at 4 not @ post, and lost uniform to boot. ASSigned 2 garding cell blok 1138. Could this day get ANY worse? FML
Zombie Wolfman said:
Clonelover: LOL just saw gay golden droid come out of closet. Also Gary's dead.
MattK said:
Clone1028: Got security vid of @Clone3827 bumping head on door. He thought no 1 noticed. LOL Watch & comment:
Arsenal said:
@BigPapaPalpintine You sure you don't want to to order a thermal exhaust post cover? They are like 20 credit
Jonesie said:
DarthSidious: @Vader Please don't choke the staff, they don't grow on trees, Oh wait. LMAO

Han: @Chewbacca WTF, did you leave outside the bridge.
AdmiralAckbar: @Han @Chewbacca It's a Crap
Michael said:
Clone9376: @Clone7245 You think your job sucks? Big green laser breezes past me and I don't even have a rail to lean against.
Sean said:
Nerf_Herder: No shit, Sherlock. RT @Ol_Ben That's no moon
Cobra Commander said:
ERguard1: @ERguard3 so you're telling me we get 401K for just standing around in a red bath robe?
JK said:
Gunner2103: @Porkins Yo momma's so fat, before she sat down the main weapon was an outie.

Guard2644: Just saw Vader go into the cell of the only female in the galaxy. Had big S&M ball with him.
Mason said:
Gold_5 RT @Gold_5 hey @GoldLeader maybe you should STAY ON TARGET

CorellianPimp: I can't believe they bought that. 12 parsecs? Might as well have been 573 wookiemiles. 9384 jawameters. Effing N00bs.
flipper baby said:
Palp: Get a load of this fully armed & operational sex robot
Wino said:
R2D2DaShizit: Why do these MFer's not understand I am telling them Vader is their F'ing DAD! Beep wooo Beep Beep Wooo MFer's!!!!
thelordofhell said:
ewok3967: 911!! What wine goes with stormtrooper meat?
ewok1138: @ewok3967 I'd try a Chatteau Bernard '34....fruity but not too pretentious :)
ewok3967: @ewok1138 THX 1138!! U R LIFESAVER!! :)
ewok1138: @ewok3967 Nub Nub :)
zughammer said:
RedLeader: All wings report in
Red2: @RedLeader Standing by
Anonymous: @RedLeader Red Foreman standing by
Anonymous: @RedLeader Red Skelton standing by
Anonymous: @RedLeader Red Dead Redemption standing by
Anonymous: @RedLeader Red Rover standing by
RedLeader: @Red2 Wedge, i think we just got hijacked by 4chan
Pastiche said:
@ReactorShaftTech5 Did an old man just fall past your station too?
Bowlingpete said:
WaxOnWaxMoff: Terrorist attack a government structure, and WE'RE the bad guys?! #NVR4GET
Monty Prime said:
STrooper95: Wait, why the fuck is there a reactor on the prison level? What purpose could that serve?

STrooper95: I think that guy was lying. He seemed polite though. Wish more people asked how I was.
Diddy_Mao said:
BigPoppaPalpatine: 3500 credits per foot for guard rails? These contractors don't know who they're messing with!
Vader: @BigPoppaPalpatine Yeah but there IS a really big hole in your throne room. Are you sure you won't rethink your decision?
BigPoppaPalpatine: @Vader Noooooooooooooooo!
Vader: @BigPoppaPalpatine: ......
Frito said:
DamFOol: Who is the bigger fool: the fool or the fool who follow him?
*You are no longer following DamFOol*
Murphys law said:
Guard33: Man it always smells like trash on cell block 1138. Why the hell did they have to put a vent to the trash compactor right in the hallway?!
Zukuss said:
KesselRunner: Tried running 2 other side of Detention Block, but it just ends at garbage chute, the rest is a painting! #cheapassimperials
hot pockets said:
stormingormin: LOLLERS @ imperial guards.
bobbieplasticpants: @stormingormin, they wear fucking red fucking dresses & they have fucking staffs. we shoot laser guns but these 8' tampons r totally gonna stab u
stormingormin: @bobbieplasticpants watching one now. silent. looks like he's trying to eat. using staff as fork. having trouble shoving food into enormous twat-helmet. adorable.
JPyke said:
Clone1459: Saw @Clone6721 fall off a rail-less platform today. He totally Wilhelm'd.
Kegs said:
SooprTrupr: It's really more of a "Death Planet", though. Isnt it? Or "Death Moon", at the very least.

TheMoff: Sent Mother-in-law to Alderraan.
CK said:
ScoutTrooper12345: Down on Endors moon. Natives are these rad little teddy bears. Stashed one in my rucksack. Gonna teach him to fetch me beer. FTW!!
Vader: @LukeSkywalker I fucked your mother....
LukeSkywalker: @Vader go home Dad your Drunk.
More Twittery madness on the next page!
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