Ahhh EU, how I can't stand you.

Of course the Rancor Keeper opened a restaurant, what else would you do with all that rancor meat?

I'm a little ashamed I knew all these.

Good ole EU, with all its books on completely silly side characters. (I'm looking at you, IG-88 who somehow uploads himself into the Death Star.)

Aww c'mon, you left out the best part of Malikili's story. He opened the restaurant while hooking up with the fat dancer with 8 boobs after saving her kids (Jabba was holding them hostage).

The only good EU was written by Traviss.
Everything else was, and remains, stupidly interconnected horsecrap.

Didn't realize that the Empire still used fossil fuels; aren't they a Class 2 Civilization? Besides, no equipment made for gas mining would be pure white, and so clean looking!

It maybe a word that is used a little to freely these days, but ill use it any way:

GENIUS

Oh dear. If there's one thing more unseemly than Klingons, it's the Expanded Universe!

Good Ol' Han Solo. The SWU version of Kevin Bacon. mmm...bacon.

Yeah, everyone in the EU is a bounty hunter, assassin, spy, smuggler or informant. I prefer the idea that the Mos Eisley cantina crowd are mostly pathetic drunks. I mean, middle of the day or early morning and they are in a bar. These life forms are not at the top of their game.

I dislike the idea that anyone but the heroes survived the Sarlacc Pit battle. To me, all of Jabba's entourage, including the Rebo Band and Bossk (check the pictures, he was there) all blew up, were eaten by the Sarlacc or died in the desert from exposure. And yeah, Boba Fett, too.

I like the ice-cream maker back story better. Although I do enjoy a good deal of the EU, I have to admit that sometimes, just sometimes, back story is not required. I don't even remember the Yak faced dude, and I have seen these movies so often that I have no idea how many times I have seen the movies.

It is probably a sign that I have become too politically correct, but I find I am a little uncomfortable with the habit of explaining away some character trait with the phrase "like all members of his species".

That's hilarious about Zuckuss. He was such a background character Kenner got him and 4LOM mixed up when they released the original figures! And I read somewhere they can't even confirm who was wearing the costume when they shot the scene (possibly a woman from the wardrobe department).

So does R5-D4/Skippy the Jedi Droid not make the cut because he's non-canon, or because his backstory isn't unnecessary?

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Skippy_the_Jedi_Droid

'Cause frankly, Skippy's backstory is simultaneously absurd and awesome.

i get it , i really do ,
but for all that tech and advanced civilizations we have seen in the classic Starwars movies , you mean to tell me not one of them ever gave an ounce of creativity for icecream ? . that is some bullshit.

we all know there is a Carvel in the air city. and they make the best icecream in 4 galaxies .

Jag

Awww, I'm disappointed you didn't indulge yourself in George Lucas' personal avatar, the blue-faced dude played by him for 3 seconds in Episode III's opera/ballet/lookit the pretty snow globe scene. Without bothering to look it up, he's some internationally famous producer of hit holovid entertainment. Of COURSE he is.

Man, this is why Star Trek novels aren't canon.

Yak Face totally does look like Grandpa Joe!

Its not really the fans who come up with all these backstories, although for the more obscure characters lucasfilm does hold a contest for fans to submit character histories...most on this list, however, were developed by the authors who wrote expanded universe literature and there was really no fan input whatsoever.
Often information written by one author contradicts another, so that's why you get weird stuff like zuckuss being schizophrenic. Different EU authors had handled the character very differently, so they reconciled it by giving him a mental illness.

There are a lot of SW fans that don't like the idea that every character is vital to the fate of the galaxy, and no background aliens get to live normal boring lives, but as long as there are characters to be milked for another story to pump out another comic, book, video game or whatever, such and such guy in a jumpsuit will always just miss his shot at killing such and such main character.

welcome to the expanded universe. You'll never find a more wretched place of confusion and stupidity..

Ice Cream Maker Guy! Nice! My favorite part about this guy is that he was in the movie for a mere blink of the eye, and he now has an action figure.....and that figure has a big gut. How pissed is the actor who played Ice Cream Maker Guy? He finally gets an action figure crafted to his likeness, but unlike every other Star Wars figure (which is shaped like an action hero), his is shaped like a middle aged middle manager.

I always enjoyed IG-88 having such a rich backstory. He was even included in the Star Wars Visual Dictionary (one of the most treasured books of my childhood) and has appeared in a few video games.

How long was he on screen for? About the same length as Zuckuss!

Really awesome list, laughed my head off over here!
Love Star Wars to death; not so keen on the EU though. Why does everything have to do with Hans Solo or the Rebellion? I like to think that there were some forms of life that didn't give a crap about the Empire, Republic, Rebellion and whatnots - some of them should be allowed to be just drunkards hanging out at a bar in the morning; I see that everyday on my way to work! Some of them, believe it or not, just really liked ice cream and wanted to make a living out of it, what's the problem?...

The EU can get a little silly, but I find the books enjoyable. I like that I can get more story on characters and get stories about what happens prior to Episode I (how the rule of two was founded was great) or after Episode VI (I still have to get to these ones).

Then again, I'm in the minority. I was born in the middle 70s, yet the prequels are the reason why I'm such a Star Wars fan. The original trilogy I thought were good, but I wasn't a big Star Wars fan until the prequels came out.

"We're not 100% sure that William Shakespeare was a real person,"

urrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggh.....

True, we know very little about his life, but with baptismal records, marriage records, records of him writing plays, performing in plays, directing plays to perform for various queens and kings, and death records, then YES. Yes, we /are/ 100% sure he was a real person. If "we" are sane scholars and not conspiracy-theorists babbling out nonsense because we're unwilling to believe anyone from an ordinary background could be a genius writer.

Otherwise, though, excellent list.

Grandpa Joe? I can't look at Yak face anymore without seeing Robert DeNiro.

http://www.toplessrobot.com/2008/02/the_10_star_wars_toys_that_look_like_celebrities.php

My friends and I have debated this for a long time. Who the hell decided on these names and set them in stone? It's ridiculous.

I mean, we might as well come up with the backstory of Corporal Gregory S. Winton, the third plastic army man from the left in Toy Story, who bravely fought in two key battles of the second world war! Stupid.

"Yeah, everyone in the EU is a bounty hunter, assassin, spy, smuggler or informant."

The only time civilians are even mentioned in the EU is:

1) If the protagonist is worrying about "collateral damage" because those nasty Imperials/spies/smugglers/assassins are deciding to throw down in the middle of a city or Wedge Antilles is playing pirate again.
2) They need to be killed in massive numbers and horrible ways by the Empire/Yuuzhan Vong/someone else to let everyone know that the bad guys are really really really bad.
3) One of the characters, good or evil, is dismissing them as nobodies, sheep, barely even people. Because they're the ones making the galactic economy go so you can have your lame little adventures and wars where they die and die and die, instead of having adventures themselves where other nameless faceless civilians can die.

Also, Boba Fett surviving the Sarlacc is the only good thing to come out of the EU. His backstory (pre-prequels when Lucas fucked it all up with his stupid "perfect clone of Jango Fett" bullshit) was also about the only good one to come out of the EU. Han Solo's wasn't bad either.

Actually the majority of the minor character backstories (other than those in Tales from Mos Eisley and Tales from Jabbas Palace)- were created by west end games in their Star Wars RPG-- it allowed characters from the movies to be used as NPCs-

I am personally glad that all these characters have backstories- because they are all written about 1000X better than anything Lucas has put out-- great idea man-- horrible writer.. without all this EU stuff- star wars would have died out long ago. and Im pretty sure we never would have gotten the rebirth of the action figure line or any thing else.

"because they are all written about 1000X better than anything Lucas has put out"

Nah, you're forgetting that if Timothy Zahn hadn't written the Thrawn Trilogy (a trilogy that is just as good if not better than the original Star Wars trilogy), the EU never would have happened. Zahn's books and short stories are about the only ones in the EU that aren't total crap. I mean hell read his collaborations with Stackpole ("Side Trip," etc.), I think Zahn said "I'm going to take Corran Horn and the rest of your characters and write something actually good with them, thanks Mike."

Shadows of the Empire was also well-written and a good story, the Bounty Hunter Wars trilogy as well to a slightly lesser degree. Other than that, the EU is garbage.

Ha, I actually like a lot of EU, especially the "Tales Of..." anthologies. It did bug me whenever a character ended up related to the plot out of the millions of planets and places they might have been instead of the Cantina right when Skywalker moseyed in. Still, there were a good number of patrons with interesting, albeit non-essential stories. And hey, they're all scum and villainy for a reason, right?

In any case, the Clone Wars movie killed a lot of my SW interest. Now I just read a few of the comics. Oh, Lucas.

anyone mention the Jedi R2 Unit from New Hope?

Man, those "Tales from.." books made my late childhood.
Even the story about Jabba hugging Ephant Mon when it got cold so he didn't freeze to death.

Man, there is so much hate for the EU. I don't understand. The Expanded Universe stuff that takes place after RotJ is leaps and bounds better than the prequel trilogy. That alone should give it SOME credibility.

I love how Davin Felth is the Marty Stu of Stormtroopers. His career ruined by Veers because he figured out the AT-AT could kneel to be a stable weapons platform...

Where's Jar Jar Binks?

Please tell me there will be an Expanded Universe Fan Fiction Friday.

I was collecting Staw Wars comics in the 80's and Boba Fett first came out of the Sarlacc Pit in the comic. It worked in the comic.

this list just proves some character even star wars one is some fans favorite so much they even get a back story. even back ground characters like yak face and bulbo the frog killing puppet. it should also be noted that zuckus gets confused with 4lom his robot companion as the names get mixed up like on the figures. as for Willow even the star wars universe can not go with out ice cream.

Funny thing is, Lucas took some characters and concepts from the Expanded Universe and put them in the prequels as a bone to the EU fans.

-Some of the ships and droids from Shadows of the Empire show up in the SE, which were developed alongside the prequels...

-Several details of the Pod Race are similar to stuff from the Droids cartoon..

-The blue Twi'lek (Head tailed) Jedi Aayla Secura first appeared in Dark Horse's Star Wars comics. Lucas apparentally liked her design and cast an ILM employee to play her in the films. She was created chiefly by John Ostrander, who did a lot of DC comics work including developing Barbara Gordon into Oracle.

-Another Ostrander/Dark Horse creation, Quinlan Vos,(Aayla's master) is name-dropped
in ROTS when Obi-Wan is in the Jedi briefing room. He was also going to be in the film as a victim of Order 66 but the scene was deleted (It still appears in the adaptations though).

-The name Coruscant-and a lot of the planet's look-is principally from the EU, starting with Zahn's novels and their comic adaptations. Although the idea of the Imperial capital planet dates back to ROTJ, it was Zahn who chose the name and concept.

On the one hand, I do think it is cool that so many characters in the EU have all of this extra back story, but, on the other hand, this means Star Wars canon is about the only canon I have ever seen to be in danger of death by overmining.

I was all about the EU when i was growing up. I remember just about every bit of story up to about 2005. After that I gave up and moved on, but its all still there in my head.

Also: The only books worth going back and reading are the 'Tales' books (lot of creative freedom equals good story potential, regardless of how silly the character is) and anything by Aaron Allston. Particularly Wraith Squadron and Starfighters of Adumar. those books are funny as hell.

Who would think Salacious Crumb was a loser? He was awesome! I would welcome him hanging out on my mantle.

Dude for those that might not be into Star Wars as much but are reading this article EVERYONE you see in the movies has a back story aside from when there's a bunch of extras on the screen. Name any alien you see at the bar in Mos Eisley in the first movie, they have a back story. Anyone in Jabba's Palace? Yeah pretty much. There are even ewoks you don't remember that have specific names.

It's crazy but hey if you really have to know what the deal is with that devil guy grinning creepily in the bar, you can read about him. For those that don't know yet I believe a lot of this stuff can be read in great detail in "Tales from Mos Eisley Cantina" and "Tales from Jabba's Palace", or some such titles.

Did Bubo (the one who's not a divine mecha-owl) become a B'momar monk?

HOLY FORCE FUCK!!! Really? Wow... how sad. Why? Is this because there's only six movies that all kinds of filler shit has to be made?

HOLY FORCE FUCK!!! Really? Wow... how sad. Why? Is this because there's only six movies that all kinds of filler shit has to be made?

HOLY FORCE FUCK!!! Really? Wow... how sad. Why? Is this because there's only six movies that all kinds of filler shit has to be made?

HOLY FORCE FUCK!!! Really? Wow... how sad. Why? Is this because there's only six movies that all kinds of filler shit has to be made?

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/George_R._Binks

I'm all for fan stories and debating trivia, but some of this stuff is just out there.
Is there really a fan out who's proud that he'll be forever remembered as the guy who developed a backstory for a stormtrooper who had one line and one minute of screen time?

i bot a starwars encyclopedia set for a brother in law as a christmas present. before i sent it to him, i looked thru it a little(and who wouldn't?).

it had everything. people must have gone thru each scene, every second of each scene, and written backstorys on the backstorys. it's incredible. even the ships are peeled open and diagrammed out. the technical depth must be beyond any other story out there.

Good thing I didn't make this list. Whew.

Hahaha, I had a feeling that my namesake would show up here. I really dug his story from the EU.

By the way, I intentionally mis-spelled the name so that it could be my handle on pretty much every forum, because who else would use the incorrect spelling of a terribly obscure Star Wars character? Apparently someone on XBox Live, did though. :(

What about Bossk?
I mean, I suppose his backstory wasn't
unecessary since he's AWESOME, but still...
from a brief flash in Empire, he has been
included in uncountable toy, book,
and game incarnations.

The Thrawn Trilogy are the best Star Wars Extended Universe books of all time. ALL TIME. They should be made into fucking movies! Also, Mara Jade is a freakin' babe, with an awesome back story, who shags and marries Luke Skywalker, hells yeah. Lucas should take a god damn hint on GOOD SW writing, because the prequels were utter trash, plus who fuck is this Jango Fett guy? Stupid.

Also, some of these back story characters are from the "Tales..." books, which weren't too bad. Hell they gave a back story to Greedo's vest that Han Solo stole. Awesome. And IG-88 taking over the Death Star II, "I am IG-88" *cut to scene of it blowing up* Awesome.

Aw, Salacious Crumb. Check out this song about him. You'll love it.

http://darthsarcasm.tumblr.com/post/588638820/one-of-my-favorite-local-bands-hello-lobster

Yak Face will haunt me in my dreams now...

on an unrelated note, no, none of these names are the worst I've heard yet; that honor goes to Pod Racer Veltipern Travagg...who's name honestly sounds like something Lucas came up with while being shitfaced drunk and on a major rant..

They definitely need to publish Caldera Righim's backstory

Ah, I love the EU. What other fandom has this much backstory? Some of it is pretty contrived, yes, but that's what makes it fun!

I'm shocked there isn't a back story about the stormtrooper who bumps his head in "ANH".

A lot of these no name characters have back stories thanks to the Star Wars Table Top RPG.

"If you aren't aware, every character in Star Wars has run into every other character at least once, and Han Solo is the crux of the universe."

So will the next TR contest be 'Six Parsecs of Han Solo'?

So, Rob, what you're telling me, is that a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, the game everyone played was "6 Degrees of Han Solo?" Just asking.

most of these characters are in the star wars novels. I remember reading about bubo.

Dude, seriously. WOOKIEEPEDIA. Two O's, two E's. I do not condone it and I do not understand it. In fact, I hate the fuck out of it. But, yeah, Chewbacca was a WOOKIEE. God damn his soul.

Worst thing that ever happened to Star Wars was the EU. 'Nuff said.

I cannot believe you left out Dengar and IG-88.

All of these entries were given their absolutely pointless histories from the Star Wars EU 'Tales from the (Empire/Jabba's Palace/Bounty Hunters/et al)' series, the entire purpose of which were to give absolutely pointless histories to bit part extras.

Dengar and IG-88 were both in Empire and their stories were both featured in Tales from the Bounty Hunters (which also featured Zuckuss' pointless history), generally reviled as the absolute worst of a horrendously bad series.

Dengar (the guy whose head is swaddled in bandages) was - get ready for this, this will come as a shock as it is WHOLLY UNIQUE - A RIVAL OF HAN SOLO!
He hates Solo because he blames Solo for his monstrous head trauma received as part of some swoop bike race he lost to Solo when he and Solo were like bikers or something.
The story gives him a romantic interest and the kind of dialogue and interaction you'd expect from a guy whose story beings with him receiving ~massive cranial trauma.~

IG-88 is the lanky robot assassin and his story is one of the absolute all-time worst in the EU. Seriously, read it if you ever find it, it is very much as though it were written by a committee of children and none of them know how to write dialogue or action.

Seriously, the very first action IG-88 takes is to kill a scientist by throwing a robot arm at the scientist's back, impaling him. The author then take the time to mention that the flung robot hand emerges from the stricken scientist's chest, clutching his heart. The image is so overwhelmingly cheezy you could put it on a sandwich and the story has literally just gotten started.

IG-88 then goes on to successfully stage a secret takeover of the Empire (not kidding) by inciting a silent robot revolution.

The story ends with IG-88, triumphant, ~inserting his consciousness inside the new Death Star, in effect becoming the new Death Star, seconds before it is destroyed.~

What makes matters considerably worse is that both Dengar AND IG-88 enjoyed a brief bloom of popularity, actually in some quarters rivalling that of fellow-bit-part-turned-fan-favorite Boba Fett.

Dengar and IG-88. The guy with massive cranial trauma and a killer robot with delusions of grandeur.

Srsly.

I'm surprised no one has mentioned Itchy and Lumpy. They have a disturbing amount of backstory for characters from the Star Wars Holiday Special.

So, Boushh was an Apple fan then?

What self-respecting nerd spells "wookiee" with only one E?

Am I the only Star Wars fan who finds the Thrawn Trilogy to be boring at best, dreadful at worst?

I mean, aside from the fact that Zahn wrote the books operating on the notions of continuity as it existed then-the Clone Wars were clearly thought to be a war against clones, and the timeline of the books set the Clone Wars far further back than the prequels did-there's just so much in the books that irritates me. Particularly Thrawn. I'd heard he was some sort of military genius and bad ass, but Thrawn's genius is written much like this:

1. An entire chapter or two of the book takes place involving Luke. During this, Luke drops a toothpick

2. On Thrawn's flagship, a junior sensor operator reports a toothpick falling on a nearby planet.

3. Thrawn promptly recites everything Luke did for the past two chapters.

Honestly, there's no logic to how Thrawn knows EVERYTHING except for Zahn letting him know it. For me, this kills the books dead. YMMV of course.

does anyone think #3) Salacious B.Crumb looks a little like the goblins in labyrinth who take off each others heads/limbs??? or is that just the inner nerd drinking again.....

I feel awesome i knew most of theses already

Apparently every single person in Jabba's palace was conspiring against him. Even Sy Snootles. Seriously.

The shit's going down at Cloud City and there's an image of a black guy looting.

That along with Jar-Jar's Stepin Fetchit routine just shows what a racist prick George Lucas really is.

Empire was on TV last night, saw Ice Cream maker dude. It was awesome...

i'm so sick of all the nonsense saying Lucasfilm/Kenner screwed up the names of 4-LOM vs. Zuckuss. I cut out & saved up my POP, and mailed the fuckers in, and received my 'free' 4-LOM, so his goddamned name is 4-fucking-LOM! Pretty cut-and-dried. This revisionist dreck is nearly as odious as Greedo shooting first.

...After reading this Star Wars fanwank crap, I will probably *never* complain about Diane Carey's "Lt. Mary Sue" Star Trek novels again, as I've found something far worse. Hell, this crap even beats the Trek fanzine fanwank that one retard flooded the FIDONet Trek Forums with for almost a decade.

Bottom Line: It's really the Star Wars geeks who have no lives, and this shit proves it without a doubt.

What about the Brea and Senni Tonnika backstory? The ones we saw in ANH were in fact two Mistryl Shadow Guards, not the two scamming Kiffu sisters.

How much of this was pulled from the single collection "Tales from Mos Eisly Cantina"?

This reminds me of the book I just read "Death Troopers." I was about a third in and going "F**k Yeah! No main star wars cameos! Then BAM double dosing of Han and Chewie... it pissed me off so much. How the hell is a zombie book supposed to be suspenseful if you KNOW the characters aren't going to die?

To paraphrase Old Ben;
"Who is geekier - the geek or the geek who reads his blog?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WxgMAAPCeYM - MW2 Montage