Nearly every nerd has his or her primary field of expertise/obsession. Of all the numerous nerdified interests and fandoms one may be involved in, most of us can name one subject, genre, or property that we claim as particularly dear. For the past 26 years, mine has been Frank Herbert's magnificent Dune
books. But as dearly as I adore these novels, it was David Lynch's somewhat... less than magnificent film adaptation that first introduced me to this phenomenon. Sure, at 8 years old I understood the film even less than the critics that it utterly perplexed, but it struck a chord with me. Eventually, I sought out the books -- and even learning how vastly inferior the movie was by comparison never totally soured me on it. Still, Lynch overstuffed it with completely superfluous additions that range from the oddball, to the confusing, to the downright sacrilegious. I'm perfectly aware that a director will inevitably want to put his or her mark on a project, even one based on pre-existing material -- but there's a fine line between expression and desecration: Here are 10 examples that ride a sandworm right over it.10) Mentat Eyebrows
Why? (You'll be hearing that question a lot.) Mentats already have an in-canon distinctive feature: The red stains on their lips that make them look like they were putting on lipstick while driving over gravel. This comes from drinking Sapho, a mental stimulant drink (think Red Bull, only less vile). Oh, what's a Mentat? A Human Computer: An individual trained from childhood for amazing feats of logic and computation. Mentats are employed by most of the Great Houses and other powerful groups to replace traditional computers, which are now illegal. This is a good first example of a pointless addition that does nothing save for contributing to Lynch's bizarre aesthetic.
9) Weirding Modules
I agonized over including these because, quite frankly, in an era when various things that go ZAP!
permeated sci-fi cinema, these are definitely a cut above the rest: Weapons that amplify the human voice into destructive energy are a nifty idea. Problem is, not only do they exist only in Lynch's mind and have no analogy in Herbert's novel, but half the damn movie is based around them: These things conquered a multi-galactic empire for fuck's sake! Gone was all of Herbert's wonderful exposition of the Fremen as fierce, implacable warriors -- you could have given these things to your average kindergarten class and achieved the same result! One of the novel's most interesting features was an idea of a futuristic military culture where hand-to-hand combat was the principle means of battle. But post-Star Wars
audiences wanted their damn ray-guns (or so Lynch seemed to believe), and ray-guns they got... clever take on them, but in the end -- just ray-guns.
8) Bald Bene Gesserits
Once again: Why
? I'll admit the robes were spot on, a credit to costume designer Bob Ringwood (who would later design the Batsuit in the '89 Batman
), but making them bald was not only pointless, but actually in conflict with the novels. Despite the way they're portrayed by Lynch, Bene Gesserit are not creepy bald nuns from the future (and they DON'T have telepathy--I don't know where he got that idea). They are highly trained women who have achieved a level of control over mind and body that gives them physical and mental capabilities beyond average humans. And one ability that nearly all of them possess is that of seduction. Granted, they don't get into much detail about that in the first novel, but it's certainly implied. And unless men with a bald fetish are the only partners you wish to entice, wouldn't the Yul Brynner look be... I dunno, counterproductive for a seductress? Just sayin'.
7) The Third-Stage Guild Navigator
This entry is interesting: Yes, it is something Lynch added, but it's NOT something he created. The Navigator depicted here is almost certainly inspired by Edric, the Guildsman who appears in the second book, Dune Messiah
. If this is true, then it's nice to see a nod to another book in the series, and they did a good job of capturing Edric... It's just too bad he has absolutely no business in this movie! There was no reason whatsoever to bring a third-stage Navigator into this film save to provide a little exposition (which could have been handled a dozen other ways), and to show off the creature creation skills of Carlo "E.T." Rambaldi. Bottom line: Just as post-SW
audiences demanded futuristic weapons, they also demanded weird-looking aliens. Dune
doesn't have these -- humans are the only intelligent life in this universe. So they go to the next best thing to get their scary special-effects monsters... just too bad they had to go to another book to get it.
6) The Sardaukar Uniforms
If you're unfamiliar with the Dune
universe, the Sardaukar are the dread legions of House Corrino and the Padishah Emperor. They are the most feared and skillful warriors in the known universe, and it is the military might of these terrifying soldier-fanatics that kept House Corrino on the Imperial Throne for thousands of years... then Lynch got a hold of them, and I guess they still fight okay -- but rather than the elite soldiers of the most formidable army in human history, they look like radioactive garbagemen. I don't see the universe's mightiest soldiers when I look at these costumes, I see the guys Mad Max calls when he has a roach problem. Once again, I believe the blame can be traced to Star Wars
fallout: Specifically, the "Stormtrooper Principle" -- the unspoken rule that says the villains' armies must have their faces covered, and be as dehumanized and undifferentiated as possible. This makes it ethically okay for the heroes to massacre them. This also explains why the Fremen's faces were uncovered, even though in the book, a Fremen stillsuit has a mask and hood that covers all but the eyes: We need to see the heroes so we can care when they die, and vice versa for the Sardaukar.
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