"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers," Shakespeare once wrote. Little did he realize that lawyers would become so popular that courtroom dramas now festoon the airwaves. Or maybe he did know, and he was just trying to keep his modern entertainment competition down. He was a smart dude.
Whatever. Anyways, comic books have also seized upon the public's current fascination with Juris Doctorates. Taking a cue from its media counterparts, comic book lawyers rarely deal with matters outside of criminal law (although the misadventures of Lex Luthor's patent attorney would add some much needed variety), although not all of them practice law in a court room. Behold the 13 greatest comic book characters to ever use the Esq. suffix!
13) The Living Tribunal
The Living Tribunal is the nigh-omnipotent judge of the entire Marvel multiverse (judges are just lawyers who've leveled up). His cosmic-ness is supposed to impress us because Marvel is secular despite being filled with Deities from panoply of pantheons. He looks exactly like an Oscar statuette except with a disembodied, multi-faced head draped by a tea cozy and no sword. He's also got a redundant name since all tribunals are made of live judges. A tribunal of dead judges would be exceedingly awkward, to say the least.
12) Larry "Frenzy" Fischmann
In Alan Moore's Top Ten
, Frenzy Fischmann is the Land-Shark lawyer for super-criminal Professor Gromolko, who complains that he is the victim of constant persecution. Just when think Alan Moore is going to use Fischmann to chastise readers for stereotyping criminal defense lawyers, Frenzy is shown to be callous, greedy, and overly litigious. His partners are an amoral brain in a jar and a Joseph Goebbels stand-in. If only Moore wasn't so inscrutably subtle!
11) Foggy Nelson
Foggy Nelson is the Jimmy Olsen to Daredevil's Superman: Both think bowties are cool. Foggy is notable for being an upstanding competent lawyer who doesn't need to put on a costume to close cases. He was also the least miscast character in the Daredevil
To hunt down criminals who escaped justice, New York District Attorney (and later judge) Adrian Chase dressed up like the shame-baby of the Punisher and a ski instructor. After a short violent career and a few failed successors, the depressed Vigilante disbarred himself from humanity by fellating a gun.
9) Ronan the Accuser
Ronan became the Kree Empire's Supreme Public Accuser by being overly judgmental. That's like being an attorney general... in space! He wields a sci-fi gavel he calls the Ultimate Weapon to overcompensate for being unworthy of Mjolnir.
Is it surprising that a mutant commando who knows the utility of pouches would also understand the value of a law degree? In X-Force
#40, Cable revealed that he passed the New York Bar after graduating Harvard Law School in 1988 as an Elle Woods prototype. He had to forge some documents since, due to time travel shenanigans, official records would've indicated he was just a kid at the time. He probably telepathically cheated on the Bar Exam too. Both are grounds for revoking this mutie scum's license.
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