There’s a New Spider-Man in Town

New Spidey.jpg

?Hey look everybody! A Spider-Man news story that has nothing to do with Turn off the Dark! And yet it will still probably annoy you: Spidey’s Ultimate incarnation is getting a makeover. From The New York Post:

Marvel Comics’ most popular character is getting a hip new look – and a new person wearing the webs.

not Peter Parker,” Marvel editor-in-chief Axel Alonso told The Post.
“There’s going to be someone new wearing the costume.”

The new
webslinger and the new look – a sleek black and red costume revealed
here for the first time – will make their debut at some point this
summer, after the conclusion of the ominously titled “Death of
Spider-Man” storyline in June’s Ultimate Spider-Man No. 160.

The comic will be polybagged, and will shake the comic book world to the core.
“It’s unlike anything you’ve seen before,” Alonso said.

shakeup marks the first time someone else will be catching thieves just
like flies in the “Spider-Man” titles besides Peter (or a clone of Peter
– don’t ask) in the character’s almost 50-year history in either the
traditional “Marvel Universe” or the more recent “Ultimate Universe.”

wouldn’t reveal much more about the new wallcrawler – “there’s
significance in the color scheme,” he teased – but the image’s release
is another bad sign for Peter Parker, who in the ten-year-old Ultimate
line of comics is still a Queens high school student.

perpetually hard luck teen was shot through the gut by anti-hero the
Punisher at the close of last week’s issue while trying save Captain
America. Comic fans have been burning up the internet speculating
whether Peter might survive the storyline, even if his web slinging days
are over. Alonso wouldn’t reveal his ultimate fate, but said, “We did
call it ‘The Death of Spider-Man’ for a reason.”

An adult Peter
Parker will still be manning the role of friendly neighborhood
wall-crawler in the regular Marvel Universe “Amazing Spider-Man” title.

Sigh. You guys ever hear that Charlie Rich song “Feel Like Going Home?” That’s exactly how this story makes me feel, tired and weary. Sure, it’s a nice suit (if somewhat revealing — yowsa, check out that bulge!) and the new design will certainly make for a great action figure. Yet I’ve just reached a point where I can no longer fake excitement about these types of stunts that promise to “shake the comic book world to the core.” Maybe I’m wrong or still upset that I can no longer report on footwear-loving spider villainesses, but this whole story just leaves me cold. Sorry folks.

Yeah, so there’s going to be a new Spider-Man. You can ponder the ramifications of this development while I figure out how to add an “ennui” tag to this post.