I think John Carter is going to be pretty good, if not great -- I have a lot of trust in director Andrew Stanton -- but Disney has just marketed this thing into the ground, and now no one seems interested. They need to do something else... like release this awesome fan-assembled trailer, which uses nothing but previously released footage, but put together in a way that makes the film more unique, more powerful and a lot more interesting.
If nothing else, Disney, you take that "the story that inspired 100 years of film-making" and you include it in every single JC trailer, TV spot, promo and ad you have left. Then send this dude a thank you card for doing your job for you. (Via Blastr)
PS: I'm kind of under the weather today, hence the more sporadic posts. My apologies.
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You poor white fellow... how much you must've suffered. http://www.examiner.com/images/blog/wysiwyg/image/willy-wonka-wilder.jpg
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Ready for trans-anal ultrasound!
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"Didn't I say he could jump?" You know, up until now I had no idea that his jumping was a big important skill that he had in this film. Sure I saw him doing incredible leaps but for all I knew it was just something everyone on Mars could do....
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Well played.
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The sad thing is I was really hoping "Mars Needs Moms" would be good, I'm trying to watch it but it's too scary for my 2 year old. So I only get to watch 5-10 minutes at a time. IF you are wondering why I was for the best... It's based on a kids book by Breathed Berkley,(The author of Bloom County!)
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:sniffs: fee fie foe fum i smell the ass drippage of weak sauce
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<s>JK about this movie being an Avatar rip-off. Anyway this trailer was actually cool. I didn't hate the regular trailer but it left a lot to be desired. If the movie truly is good I'm sure it will find an audience even if it doesn't fair well at the box-office thanks to weak marketing. The material clearly deserves respect and recognition.</s> <b>I fail so big and Abraxas schooled me so hard that I'm going home to Memebase where I have my fans and they all LVOE me.</b>
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lol you guys are awesome <b>because I'm a sorry sack of shit who doesn't deserve the company of your awesomeness. also my dad buttfucks me every night</b> Wow. A tad bit too personal there, aren't we?
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That's also what you <b>would most likely</b> hear when you are <b>like me, doing cocaine</b> in line at the dmv, <b>buttfucking my cousin while my uncle buttfucks me as</b> you <b>watch my entire unshaven, uneducated, unevolved troglodyte redneck family</b> are <b>engaged in an incentous orgy</b> at a family reunion, when you <b>see me and my idiot inbred family</b> are on the bus <b>flinging poo at each other</b>, when you <b>see me</b> in church <b>getting buttfucked by a priest</b>. ..........actually you should probably seek <b>me some</b> help. Will do, buddy. Will do.
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Ah, my Dark Lord. You always seem to do the heavy lifting around here. I feel so humbled. -bows- XD
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My Dark Lord, I seem to be receiving yet another hidden message. Allow me to decipher it. -adjusts Optimus Prime's Rectum Decoder- Bzzt! Crackle! Crack! <s>Bro you are a sad sack o' weak sauce.Enjoy your garbage avatar rip-off. You'll likely be the only jackoff in the theater so you can have an even easier time getting your pants around your ankles as you usually do in disney movies.</s> <b>OH YESS! OOH YESS DADDY! OOH YEAH! I'M A BAD BOY! I'M A BAD BOY! GIVE ME THE HARD FUCK! GIVE ME THE HARD FUCK! YESS! YESSSS! AAAAOOOORRRGGH!</b>
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next time throw some sand in the vaseline.
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I think we should inform Tifaf's parents that retro-active abortions up to the age of 21 are legal in 14 states.
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Holy fuckballs batman. I really want to watch John Carter now. Excuse me while I go show this trailer to everyone I fucking know.
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JK about this movie being an Avatar rip-off. Anyway this trailer was actually cool. I didn't hate the regular trailer but it left a lot to be desired. If the movie truly is good I'm sure it will find an audience even if it doesn't fair well at the box-office thanks to weak marketing. The material clearly deserves respect and recognition.
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Sure it does <b>my argument is that I'm a TROLL and I'm succeeding!</b>
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<s>I try to post at TR like I wasn't a troll even I'll realize I'm just a lame ass idiot I just know it.</s> Neat <b>but I wish I</b> can do it <b>as good as you</b> too. <s>Dosn't hold my interest as it does yours though.</s> <b>Alas, I see that I'm just being a TROLL and must now lamely attempt to backtrack lest I need to return with a different ID in a couple of days. Too late!</b>. Abraxas, John Carter will <s>FAIL harder than you</s> <b>be harder than my</b> father's <b>PENIS at the site of little boys ankles</b>
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Sure it does.
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<s>don't worry, i fixed it. the poor kid and his spoogey keyboard just made too many typos.</s> Don't worry I spent 2 days <s>using a moronic strike-out trick</s> <b>exposing myself as a TROLL at TR which</b> I learned in the 6th grade <b>when I discovered my penis</b>. That oughta teach him to <s>like the same things I like</s> <b>whine like a bitch to mommy when people call him out on his douchbaggery!</b>
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<STRIKE>I try to post at TR like I wasn't a troll even I'll realize I'm just a lame ass idiot I just know it. </STRIKE>^ Neat I can do it too. Doesn't hold my interest as it does yours though. Abraxas, John Carter will FAIL harder than you father's penis.Cope.
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<STRIKE> don't worry, i fixed it. the poor kid and his spoogey keyboard just made too many typos </STRIKE>Don't worry I spent 2 days using a moronic strike-out trick I learned in the 6th grade. That oughta teach him to like the same things I like!
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The 10th time <s>you do that it will be funny</s> <b>I try to post at TR like I wasn't a troll even I'll realize I'm just a lame ass idiot</b> I just know it.
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I like that comeback better, but I don't think it supports your argument :)
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Wow <b>I'm just going to reply with</b> the same <s>crossed out/rewording gag</s> <b>tired half-ass attempt at trolling that I have been doing for the last couple of days because</b> <s>you are</s> <b>I am</b> about as original as <s>you are bright</s> <b>as I am filled with my own fathers erect PENIS</b> lame bitch <s>you lost</s> <b>I came harder than Videl when she aborted</b>
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That's also what you hear when you are in line at the dmv, when you are at a family reunion, when you are on the bus, when you in church...........actually you should probably seek help.
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lol you guys are awesome
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The 10th time you do that it will be funny I just know it.
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<b>I need to</b> learn to breathe through <s>your</s>my nose, not just through <s>you mouth and</s> <b>the unfortunate vomit ball coughed up by my own neck. PS - I'm an</b> asshole. fixed! no, no need to thank me kid
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Bro you are a sad sack o' weak sauce. Enjoy your garbage avatar rip-off. You'll likely be the only jackoff in the theater so you can have an even easier time getting your pants around your ankles as you usually do in disney movies.
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here, let's fix that and reveal what you're really trying to say: <s>Yeah bro...you suck at this.</s> <b>Blah bla... bla blahb bl blah</b> <s>Too emotional, like a typical little bitch</s> <b>Bla blahblahbl, blah b blahbla blahbl blahb</b>
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Wow the same crossed out/rewording gag....you are about as original as you are bright. lame bitch you lost.
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Learn to breathe through your nose, not just through you mouth and asshole.
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Yeah bro...you suck at this. Too emotional, like a typical little bitch.
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hold on, I'm detecting secret message in this post. i'm going to put it through the dr. manhattan anal decoder. :wizz bang wirl sparkly lights: yes, it's working, the secret message....it's crowning through! <s>At least when this movie flops worse than Water World it will be a failure of epic proportions. Sorta like the existence of Dr. Abraxas down there. I think the best part of that guy leaked out of his mother's anus 3 months into pregnancy.</s> <b>Tifaf was mean to Elmo so Elmo is going to treat Tifaf like a WHORE!</b> OMG kid!
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Hmmm...just when I thought I couldn't care any less about this Avatar rip-off someone goes and makes a cheesy fan-made trailer. At least when this movie flops worse than Water World it will be a failure of epic proportions. Sorta like the existence of Dr. Abraxas down there. I think the best part of that guy leaked out of his mother's anus 3 months into pregnancy.
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I seriously doubt this. All I heard was him defending the change, because the company line, it must be toed.
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Is he even OLD enough to spooge, my Dark Lord? I'm guessing it's someone else's dick he had to stroke alongside his own.
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All I hear is, "MY DADDY BUTTFUCKS ME EVERY NIGHT AND I AM VENTING IT OUT ON YOU!"
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Learn to spell, THEN learn to troll, little shit.
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Boys: Fuck you, old man! XD But in all seriousness, though, sometimes it's the individuals who actually understood the material that Big Studio does not. While Hollyweird only knows how to aim for the lowest common denominator, it's the fans who knows how a material should have been presented to appeal to both the general masses and the material's followers. So relax, old bean! Nobody here is threatening your precious money grubbing movie studio you're defending with all your soul to the death. We're nerds, we don't roll that way.
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So, is John Carter a red-neck, or what? Because the actor playing him don't look it nor talk like Foghorn Leghorn.
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May I suggest using the Old Xbox controller as your weapon of choice for the bludgeoning damage to the roommate?
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Oh boy! Another Topless Robot post about how a company who has been successfully making movies for a loooong time is so inept that they need a stranger with a copy of Final Cut, an inordinate amount of free time, and who has never actually seen the movie to help pull them from the brink of complete failure. (Now THAT is how you sarcasm, boys.)
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Led Zeppelin + wacky Disney sidekicks = sci-fi
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well if you want psychological damage, you've come to the right place. just lean right back while i get the, er, "instrument" ready hahahahahaha!!!
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don't worry, i fixed it. the poor kid and his spoogey keyboard just made too many typos
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damn kid! stop spooging on your keyboard, the letters are getting all shortcircuited and mixed up <s>Can someone please get this blatant ripoff of Avatar in theaters already so I can see it in 1 dollar bins and laugh.</s> <b>Damn! My father incestuous sperm felt as good coming out of my anus as it did getting in! Also I get a boner for scantily clad green men.</b> well, ok, maybe i embellished about about the anus part. just trying to make this drivel of yours a little interesting
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WHAAAAAA?? and what about my Na'Vi? yum blue cat people! :9
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Tifaf the troll, trolls because trolling troll trolls
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<s>R U THE GHEY//?</s> <b>I'M SO LAME I'M NOT EVEN TRYING NOW</b>
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meanwhile....... <s>S HUT UP YOU!</s> <b> WHILE MY FORESKIN SLAPS THE HAPPY XYLOPHONE</b>
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Thanks for <s>playing</s> <b>watching me chop my own onions while sniffing the loincloth of an erect Na'Vi</b> Steve; <b>it made the streaks in my shorts that much bigger</b>
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Fuck yes!!! Sooooo much better!
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This is kind of strange to me, because I've been excited about it all along. I've been digging the spots, the trailers, the stills...I see everyone talking about how it's been marketed and I think, "Huh? Really? They think that?" Not that I think you guys are wrong; I'm just not pickin' up what you're layin' down. *shrug* I dunno, man, maybe I'm just not paying attention. All I know is, my wife and I are down with this. Then again, we are kind of old-school nerds of a sort.
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It is Kashmir.
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I see they chose not to call it "MARS NEEDS TIM RIGGINS," which would have my ass in the front row.
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Two things. One: I might actually want to see this movie at some point now--all the TV trailers I've seen made it look so lifeless and boring whereas this one showcases, if nothing else, some gorgeous and lush designs (I'm an art student, leave me alone :p) And two: Was anyone else distracted by the fact that the music sort of turned into a "We couldn't get the rights so here's something similar" version of Led Zeppelin's Kashmir toward the end there?
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I had no interest in this movie until I saw a trailer at the movies the other day and I saw some of the stuff that didn't look like footage from Attack of the Clones. What raised my interest was how the aesthetic had a very strong Dune vibe to it with the costumes of the humans and the ship design. In fact it'd probably be the messed up version of how the Zenzuni people first colonized Arakis by wiping out its indigenous people if it weren't for the fact that they are on Mars apparently.
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I'm just surprised that even Disney's not going for that for the brand recognition. Adding a From the sentence usually increases your audience no matter what.
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And if he was gay? What difference does that even remotely make?
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To be honestly fair, I'm sure that Avatar's success encouraged producers to greenlight a similar story, especially if it was pitched to them to be sort of like Avatar. This is how Hollywood works. Try to duplicate a surefire hit than make the overly risky gamble of something completely new and different and risk it being a flop.
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nice comeback.
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Did he mean to use the "old" Walt Disney Pictures logo instead of the "new" Disney logo?
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R U TEH GHEY//?
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meanwhile.......... S HUT UP YOU!
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Thanks for playing Steve.
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FUCK. YES. This is how you do it. THIS. Even my grumpy old John Carter-nerd father says this trailer makes it look way better than he had previously thought. If someone can make my father take back his nerd-rage, then they are a GOD.
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Except for a minor audio glitch of altered dialogue voice over, I never would have known that this wasn't a Professionally Marketing Department trailer. I seriously need to get a better computer and start doing my own fan trailers for stuff...
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There are elements of that yes, but I think you're stretching it beyond plausibility to compare John Carter of Mars to Iraq. Think Superman: He's a foreign champion, not a savior.
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You guys can stop blaming Disney's Marketing for the title change, that was Stanton all by his lonesome. To him John Carter is an origin story and he won't become "of Mars" until the end of the first movie.
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Hey don't knock the white man's burden! Why, I lay awake at night sometimes weeping in my comfortable, privilaged, middle class housing, haunted by the knowledge that long ago, one of my ancestors might have been racist!!! It claws at my mind, taunting me... Wait, what about slavery and centuries of colonial opression and exploitation dressed up as philoantrophy? Pfft, I'm sure they've gotten over THAT. But more importantly, what about MY psychological damage?!!
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NOW I get it.
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Agreed wholeheartedly about the shitty title: I remember first hearing it (before seeing any photos or trailers), and thinking: "They made a movie about Johnny Cash's son?" :P (PS: The next time my "Nerdily-Challenged" roommates watch the trailer with me and compare it to goddamn Final Fantasy, someone is going to die.)
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wow. it's amazing how little I cared about a movie about mars and aliens before watching this.
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YOU! TROLL! I WILL SEE YOU IN THE ARENA! I WILL GRIND YOUR BONES! I WILL TAKE YOUR WOMAN! I HAVE YOU AS MY PET AND YOU WILL KNOW YOU WERE BESTED BY THOMAS ELDON ROBBINS, DESCENDANT OF THEODORE ROOSEVELT, THE MOOSE-RIDER! YOUR DEFEAT WlLL BE CRUEL! MERKALA! AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!
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Nahh I don't waste time on Trolls.
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That sentence gave me chills, +1
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One doesn't need to come from a nation identified categorically as the "bad guys" to function as a colonial cheerleader. My point is that here comes this outsider to save Mars from itself. In this, its reminiscent of the 2nd war in Iraq or (insert any colonial endeavor). He may be on Mars, but he still carries the White Man's Burden. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_White_Man%27s_Burden
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I like this man! Sure Avatar had some MAJOR problems (IMHO one of the worst Protagonists of all time) and the writing was iffy, but in all it actually wasn't bad. The visuals were good, it had a half way comprehensible plot and it actually elicited an emotional response from me, ME of all people!
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Good lord this fixes EVERYTHING.
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" a plate of steaming hot horse shit with a side of manure gravy " is now the name of my next rock band.
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<i>Much</i> love for the creator of this awesome vid, and absolutely <i>none</i> for the Disney marketing execs.
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It is a "white savior" story of sorts, but in this case the savior doesn't come from the bad-guys' nation. John Carter is a hero to the green Tharks, and a hero to the Red Men of Helium as well. He's a hero to all of Barsoom, but not from Barsoom (Mars). He's more like Superman than anything else, except he's the strange visiter from another world (ours) who fights for truth, justice and the Barsoomian Way.
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meanwhile obvious trolling is really original and witty.
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Disney's marketing department have proved they're idiots time and time again. Anyone remember this little gem, when they were convinced WALL-E was going to be an umarketable flop... right after they said RATATOUIE was going to be an unmarketable flop...? " But that's okay. Let them call the shots on WALL-E's marketing campaign. Next year, they'll be the ones who'll be taking the fall when that Andrew Stanton film doesn't measure up to expectations. " http://www.imdb.com/news/ni0103181/
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My ambivalence towards this film continues unabated. It looks like a very well put together piece of propaganda for the myth of the white savior and with that the ideologies of Eurocentrism and colonialism. Don't you think that Hollywood should be concerned with telling stories that emulate more progressive values than those contained in a narrative written a century ago?
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Me too. I liked Avatar. I didn't expect Shindler's List or Laurence of Arabia like some people seem to have done. I expected to be awed by great visuals and 3d and I was not disappointed. The nerd world is many times more enriched by James Cameron than it will ever be by someone like Michael Bay...
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Would you mind going off on Tifaf? Read his post below.
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Nearly all science fiction/fantasy is based off John Carter. The story "A Princess of Mars", which this movie is based on was written in 1912. For God's sake, Tifaf, do your homework before you post something stupid again.
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Okay, I'm back on board with this now. Can't wait!
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I was going to tack a like onto a "hope you feel better soon Rob" post but there aren't any... so... Hope you feel better soon Rob! Now it just feels forced...
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I hope it's nothing to bad, nonetheless hurry up and get better.
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Indeed - "From beloved author Edgar Rice Burroughs comes a tale that influenced many to come. Before there was Tarzan, there was JOHN CARTER" - or something like that. Geeze, it's not rocket surgery is it?
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That gave me chills. Guess I'll go see it after all. But still not in 3D.
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The promo bits I've seen on teevee have been so tepid that I wasn't even planning to bother with the DVD. Now I want to see it in a decent theater, and in the first week or two.
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Can someone please get this blatant ripoff of Avatar in theaters already so I can see it in 1 dollar bins and laugh.
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The name changes show how out-of-touch with reality Hollywood executives are. They assume that Mars Needs Moms failed because audiences hate Mars, and not because that movie is objectively terrible. So, they changed the name, and now it sounds like it's just about some regular douchebag. How do such dumb people get paid so much money?
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Agreed on the "of Mars" thing. Absolutely necessary to make the title not sound super-generic (like any non-built-in fanbase would immediately recognize it). Because obviously, "Mars" was the lamest aspect of the title "Mars Needs Moms," as opposed to the "Moms" part. I want to look forward to this more, but it's reeking of executive meddling, if the marketing/trailer editing is any hint. High hopes for Andrew Stanton though.
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Worst. Title. Ever. Bring back Mars. ...If only so next year Rob can post the XXX parody, John Carter of Uranus.
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I would have added the tag "From the creator of 'Tarzan of the Apes'". But that's just me...
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