"Didn't I say he could jump?"
You know, up until now I had no idea that his jumping was a big important skill that he had in this film. Sure I saw him doing incredible leaps but for all I knew it was just something everyone on Mars could do....
John Carter might be able to kick Martian ass, but he's had a tough time with Disney's marketing department. First the movie was called A Princess of Mars, until Disney decided boys will never see any movie with the word "princess" in it (which is why, of course, no male ever ever watched The Princess Bride since its release in 1987). Then it became John Carter of Mars... until the totally unrelated CG film Mars Needs Moms tanked last year, and Disney's marketers decided the problem was that people hate the word Mars. Since then it's been titled the incredibly undescriptive John Carter, and all the trailers have gone from introducing the character and his journey and the alien cultures of Mars have to showing nothing but action scenes that make the movie look like some kind of combination Avatar and Attack of the Clones, which is not a compliment.
I think John Carter is going to be pretty good, if not great -- I have a lot of trust in director Andrew Stanton -- but Disney has just marketed this thing into the ground, and now no one seems interested. They need to do something else... like release this awesome fan-assembled trailer, which uses nothing but previously released footage, but put together in a way that makes the film more unique, more powerful and a lot more interesting.
If nothing else, Disney, you take that "the story that inspired 100 years of film-making" and you include it in every single JC trailer, TV spot, promo and ad you have left. Then send this dude a thank you card for doing your job for you. (Via Blastr)
PS: I'm kind of under the weather today, hence the more sporadic posts. My apologies.
I think John Carter is going to be pretty good, if not great -- I have a lot of trust in director Andrew Stanton -- but Disney has just marketed this thing into the ground, and now no one seems interested. They need to do something else... like release this awesome fan-assembled trailer, which uses nothing but previously released footage, but put together in a way that makes the film more unique, more powerful and a lot more interesting.
If nothing else, Disney, you take that "the story that inspired 100 years of film-making" and you include it in every single JC trailer, TV spot, promo and ad you have left. Then send this dude a thank you card for doing your job for you. (Via Blastr)
PS: I'm kind of under the weather today, hence the more sporadic posts. My apologies.
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114 comments
The sad thing is I was really hoping "Mars Needs Moms" would be good, I'm trying to watch it but it's too scary for my 2 year old. So I only get to watch 5-10 minutes at a time. IF you are wondering why I was for the best... It's based on a kids book by Breathed Berkley,(The author of Bloom County!)
Holy fuckballs batman. I really want to watch John Carter now. Excuse me while I go show this trailer to everyone I fucking know.
JK about this movie being an Avatar rip-off.
Anyway this trailer was actually cool. I didn't hate the regular trailer but it left a lot to be desired. If the movie truly is good I'm sure it will find an audience even if it doesn't fair well at the box-office thanks to weak marketing.
The material clearly deserves respect and recognition.
JK about this movie being an Avatar rip-off.
Anyway this trailer was actually cool. I didn't hate the regular trailer but it left a lot to be desired. If the movie truly is good I'm sure it will find an audience even if it doesn't fair well at the box-office thanks to weak marketing.
The material clearly deserves respect and recognition. I fail so big and Abraxas schooled me so hard that I'm going home to Memebase where I have my fans and they all LVOE me.
Hmmm...just when I thought I couldn't care any less about this Avatar rip-off someone goes and makes a cheesy fan-made trailer.
At least when this movie flops worse than Water World it will be a failure of epic proportions. Sorta like the existence of Dr. Abraxas down there. I think the best part of that guy leaked out of his mother's anus 3 months into pregnancy.
hold on, I'm detecting secret message in this post. i'm going to put it through the dr. manhattan anal decoder. :wizz bang wirl sparkly lights: yes, it's working, the secret message....it's crowning through!
At least when this movie flops worse than Water World it will be a failure of epic proportions. Sorta like the existence of Dr. Abraxas down there. I think the best part of that guy leaked out of his mother's anus 3 months into pregnancy. Tifaf was mean to Elmo so Elmo is going to treat Tifaf like a WHORE!
OMG kid!
Bro you are a sad sack o' weak sauce.
Enjoy your garbage avatar rip-off. You'll likely be the only jackoff in the theater so you can have an even easier time getting your pants around your ankles as you usually do in disney movies.
My Dark Lord, I seem to be receiving yet another hidden message. Allow me to decipher it. -adjusts Optimus Prime's Rectum Decoder-
Bzzt! Crackle! Crack!
Bro you are a sad sack o' weak sauce.Enjoy your garbage avatar rip-off. You'll likely be the only jackoff in the theater so you can have an even easier time getting your pants around your ankles as you usually do in disney movies. OH YESS! OOH YESS DADDY! OOH YEAH! I'M A BAD BOY! I'M A BAD BOY! GIVE ME THE HARD FUCK! GIVE ME THE HARD FUCK! YESS! YESSSS! AAAAOOOORRRGGH!
So, is John Carter a red-neck, or what? Because the actor playing him don't look it nor talk like Foghorn Leghorn.
Oh boy! Another Topless Robot post about how a company who has been successfully making movies for a loooong time is so inept that they need a stranger with a copy of Final Cut, an inordinate amount of free time, and who has never actually seen the movie to help pull them from the brink of complete failure.
(Now THAT is how you sarcasm, boys.)
Boys: Fuck you, old man! XD
But in all seriousness, though, sometimes it's the individuals who actually understood the material that Big Studio does not. While Hollyweird only knows how to aim for the lowest common denominator, it's the fans who knows how a material should have been presented to appeal to both the general masses and the material's followers.
So relax, old bean! Nobody here is threatening your precious money grubbing movie studio you're defending with all your soul to the death. We're nerds, we don't roll that way.
This is kind of strange to me, because I've been excited about it all along. I've been digging the spots, the trailers, the stills...I see everyone talking about how it's been marketed and I think, "Huh? Really? They think that?"
Not that I think you guys are wrong; I'm just not pickin' up what you're layin' down. *shrug* I dunno, man, maybe I'm just not paying attention. All I know is, my wife and I are down with this.
Then again, we are kind of old-school nerds of a sort.
I see they chose not to call it "MARS NEEDS TIM RIGGINS," which would have my ass in the front row.
Two things. One: I might actually want to see this movie at some point now--all the TV trailers I've seen made it look so lifeless and boring whereas this one showcases, if nothing else, some gorgeous and lush designs (I'm an art student, leave me alone :p)And two: Was anyone else distracted by the fact that the music sort of turned into a "We couldn't get the rights so here's something similar" version of Led Zeppelin's Kashmir toward the end there?
I had no interest in this movie until I saw a trailer at the movies the other day and I saw some of the stuff that didn't look like footage from Attack of the Clones. What raised my interest was how the aesthetic had a very strong Dune vibe to it with the costumes of the humans and the ship design. In fact it'd probably be the messed up version of how the Zenzuni people first colonized Arakis by wiping out its indigenous people if it weren't for the fact that they are on Mars apparently.
FUCK. YES. This is how you do it. THIS. Even my grumpy old John Carter-nerd father says this trailer makes it look way better than he had previously thought.If someone can make my father take back his nerd-rage, then they are a GOD.
Except for a minor audio glitch of altered dialogue voice over, I never would have known that this wasn't a Professionally Marketing Department trailer. I seriously need to get a better computer and start doing my own fan trailers for stuff...
You guys can stop blaming Disney's Marketing for the title change, that was Stanton all by his lonesome. To him John Carter is an origin story and he won't become "of Mars" until the end of the first movie.
I seriously doubt this. All I heard was him defending the change, because the company line, it must be toed.
Agreed wholeheartedly about the shitty title:
I remember first hearing it (before seeing any photos or trailers), and thinking: "They made a movie about Johnny Cash's son?" :P
(PS: The next time my "Nerdily-Challenged" roommates watch the trailer with me and compare it to goddamn Final Fantasy, someone is going to die.)
May I suggest using the Old Xbox controller as your weapon of choice for the bludgeoning damage to the roommate?
wow. it's amazing how little I cared about a movie about mars and aliens before watching this.
Much love for the creator of this awesome vid, and absolutely none for the Disney marketing execs.
Disney's marketing department have proved they're idiots time and time again. Anyone remember this little gem, when they were convinced WALL-E was going to be an umarketable flop... right after they said RATATOUIE was going to be an unmarketable flop...?
"But that's okay. Let them call the shots on WALL-E's marketing campaign. Next year, they'll be the ones who'll be taking the fall when that Andrew Stanton film doesn't measure up to expectations. "
My ambivalence towards this film continues unabated. It looks like a very well put together piece of propaganda for the myth of the white savior and with that the ideologies of Eurocentrism and colonialism.
Don't you think that Hollywood should be concerned with telling stories that emulate more progressive values than those contained in a narrative written a century ago?
It is a "white savior" story of sorts, but in this case the savior doesn't come from the bad-guys' nation. John Carter is a hero to the green Tharks, and a hero to the Red Men of Helium as well. He's a hero to all of Barsoom, but not from Barsoom (Mars). He's more like Superman than anything else, except he's the strange visiter from another world (ours) who fights for truth, justice and the Barsoomian Way.
One doesn't need to come from a nation identified categorically as the "bad guys" to function as a colonial cheerleader. My point is that here comes this outsider to save Mars from itself. In this, its reminiscent of the 2nd war in Iraq or (insert any colonial endeavor).
He may be on Mars, but he still carries the White Man's Burden.
well if you want psychological damage, you've come to the right place. just lean right back while i get the, er, "instrument" ready hahahahahaha!!!
There are elements of that yes, but I think you're stretching it beyond plausibility to compare John Carter of Mars to Iraq.
Think Superman: He's a foreign champion, not a savior.
Hey don't knock the white man's burden! Why, I lay awake at night sometimes weeping in my comfortable, privilaged, middle class housing, haunted by the knowledge that long ago, one of my ancestors might have been racist!!! It claws at my mind, taunting me...
Wait, what about slavery and centuries of colonial opression and exploitation dressed up as philoantrophy? Pfft, I'm sure they've gotten over THAT. But more importantly, what about MY psychological damage?!!
I was going to tack a like onto a "hope you feel better soon Rob" post but there aren't any...so...Hope you feel better soon Rob!Now it just feels forced...
Can someone please get this blatant ripoff of Avatar in theaters already so I can see it in 1 dollar bins and laugh.
damn kid! stop spooging on your keyboard, the letters are getting all shortcircuited and mixed up
Can someone please get this blatant ripoff of Avatar in theaters already so I can see it in 1 dollar bins and laugh. Damn! My father incestuous sperm felt as good coming out of my anus as it did getting in! Also I get a boner for scantily clad green men.
well, ok, maybe i embellished about about the anus part. just trying to make this drivel of yours a little interesting
I think we should inform Tifaf's parents that retro-active abortions up to the age of 21 are legal in 14 states.
Wow the same crossed out/rewording gag....you are about as original as you are bright.
lame bitch you lost.
Wow I'm just going to reply with the same crossed out/rewording gag tired half-ass attempt at trolling that I have been doing for the last couple of days because you are I am about as original as you are bright as I am filled with my own fathers erect PENIS
lame bitch you lost I came harder than Videl when she aborted
YOU! TROLL! I WILL SEE YOU IN THE ARENA! I WILL GRIND YOUR BONES! I WILL TAKE YOUR WOMAN! I HAVE YOU AS MY PET AND YOU WILL KNOW YOU WERE BESTED BY THOMAS ELDON ROBBINS, DESCENDANT OF THEODORE ROOSEVELT, THE MOOSE-RIDER! YOUR DEFEAT WlLL BE CRUEL! MERKALA! AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!
Ah, my Dark Lord. You always seem to do the heavy lifting around here. I feel so humbled. -bows- XD
I need to learn to breathe through yourmy nose, not just through you mouth and the unfortunate vomit ball coughed up by my own neck. PS - I'm an asshole.
fixed! no, no need to thank me kid
lol you guys are awesome because I'm a sorry sack of shit who doesn't deserve the company of your awesomeness. also my dad buttfucks me every night
Wow. A tad bit too personal there, aren't we?
That's also what you would most likely hear when you are like me, doing cocaine in line at the dmv, buttfucking my cousin while my uncle buttfucks me as you watch my entire unshaven, uneducated, unevolved troglodyte redneck family are engaged in an incentous orgy at a family reunion, when you see me and my idiot inbred family are on the bus flinging poo at each other, when you see me in church getting buttfucked by a priest. ..........actually you should probably seek me some help.
Will do, buddy. Will do.
That's also what you hear when you are in line at the dmv, when you are at a family reunion, when you are on the bus, when you in church...........actually you should probably seek help.
Nearly all science fiction/fantasy is based off John Carter. The story "A Princess of Mars", which this movie is based on was written in 1912. For God's sake, Tifaf, do your homework before you post something stupid again.
I try to post at TR like I wasn't a troll even I'll realize I'm just a lame ass idiot I just know it. Neat but I wish I can do it as good as you too. Dosn't hold my interest as it does yours though. Alas, I see that I'm just being a TROLL and must now lamely attempt to backtrack lest I need to return with a different ID in a couple of days. Too late!. Abraxas, John Carter will FAIL harder than you be harder than my father's PENIS at the site of little boys ankles
I try to post at TR like I wasn't a troll even I'll realize I'm just a lame ass idiot I just know it. ^ Neat I can do it too. Doesn't hold my interest as it does yours though. Abraxas, John Carter will FAIL harder than you father's penis.Cope.
The 10th time you do that it will be funny I try to post at TR like I wasn't a troll even I'll realize I'm just a lame ass idiot I just know it.
here, let's fix that and reveal what you're really trying to say:
Yeah bro...you suck at this.Blah bla... bla blahb bl blah
Too emotional, like a typical little bitchBla blahblahbl, blah b blahbla blahbl blahb
Thanks for playing watching me chop my own onions while sniffing the loincloth of an erect Na'Vi Steve; it made the streaks in my shorts that much bigger
