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He-Man’s Getting a New Videogame, and Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Care

He-Man’s Getting a New Videogame, and Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Care

By October 9, 2012 Cartoons, Toys, Video Games 0 Comment

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First and foremost, it’s an iOS game. Not a real videogame. And don’t get into semantics with me — cellphone games are mostly designed as fun timewasters, and since this Masters of the Universe game is a 2-D brawler, not a genre that cellphones can manage with much complexity, I think we can designate it the same. The game has 27 levels, which include a shit-ton of generic enemies no one has ever seen before, some big enemies no one has ever seen before, and at the very least Skeletor, Mer-Man, Beast Man and Megator (oh, and Skeletor’s robot minions, if you care) as you can tell from the other screenshots at IGN). 

If you think I’d be excited to have a He-Man game, any He-Man game… well, you haven’t been reading TR very long. If I’d ever had the chance to play a good He-Man videogame in the 30 years since the toys debuted, I’d happily accept this for what it is. But since I haven’t, I’m pissed that I’m getting another inconsequential, not particularly accurate Masters of the Universe game instead of something… consequential and accurate, I guess. I have no idea what kind of MotU game might satisfy me, but I do know I will almost certainly keep complaining until someone makes it for me. I’m not proud of this. I’m just sayin’. Thanks to everybody who sent in the tip, though.

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About The Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.