Hey, Poe Ghostal here. Over at Poe Ghostal's Points of Articulation, I've got a feature called "Toy Aisle Trolls" that highlights acts of vandalism on toys (generally action figures) that are nonetheless still found for sale in toy stores. When readers find examples, they email pics to me and I post them on the site.
Really.
There are a few ways the trolls may pull this off.
Often, they'll buy an action figure, take it home, carefully open the package, swap in a crappy or cheap figure (usually one that looks somewhat like the one that's supposed to be in the package) and returns it for a full refund. The unknowing and/or uncaring employees then return the item to the shelves.
The more daring thieves will slice open the box and swap the item in the store. And this seemingly petty thievery can add up -- one mother-and-son team recently racked up more than $2 million using this method.
While those two are obviously the worst toy aisle trolls of all time, there's still plenty of trollery to go around in the individual acts. Here are the ten worst examples of toy aisle trolls I've ever come across. (Apologies in advance for the blurriness of some of the photos - these are usually taken with cell phones by readers while in the store.)
10. DC vs. Masters of the Universe - Lex Luthor vs. Skeletor
This set was supposed to feature a DC Super Heroes Lex Luthor (in his Super Powers powered armor) fighting Skeletor.
Instead, what we've got is a Hasbro Green Goblin figure with a Skeletor head and a Marvel Legends scrote-headed Leader.
What.
The.
Fuck.
This troll is evidently some sort of psychotic med. student a la Herbert West (in addition to being a complete douche).
What's more, while obviously rotten to the core, this troll has, to quote Stephen Colbert, muchos juevos grandes. And totally got away with it, obviously, since this thing was found on sale at Toys "R" Us.
Karmic Payback: May the troll's most beloved franchise get a new film trilogy by Michael Bay.
9. DC Universe Classics - El Dorado
El Dorado is fondly (?) remembered as a fictional Hispanic superhero who was added to the Super Friends cartoon, presumably to make it a bit more diverse. He got an action figure from Mattel last year, but apparently at least one person out there wanted it, but didn't want to pay for it.
What do to? Why, swap it out for an old figure of wrestler Buff Bagwell, best known for his tenure in the WCW in the 1990s, and stick some sort of ridiculous crappy harness and cape on it and call it a day.
Karmic Payback: May the troll develop a disease that makes them look like E.T.
8. ThunderCats - Lion-O
Bandai attempted to replicate the success of Mattel's Masters of the Universe Classics by releasing collector-oriented figures of the original ThunderCats from the 1980s. Apparently this troll wanted the figure, but not enough to pay for it, leaving behind a cheap, sad-faced Ra's Al Ghul figure from Batman Begins.
Again, this was on the shelf. For sale. At a store.
Karmic Payback: May their nose forever be filled by the scent of the last day of San Diego Comic Con.
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119 comments
I bought one on purpose some time back.... the card was for baroness from gi joe, but somebody had pulled out the baroness figure and replaced it with a scarlet figure. I already had a baroness but no scarlet so I bought it as it was an older version of scarlet. It was only AFTER I bought it did I point out to the cashier that it had been switched out, and she asked me if I still wanted it. I told her yes, but if something like that happened once it could happen again with something else.
I really enjoy finding these. One time I found a Fantastic 4 boxed set with all the figures replaced by customs of the same characters. Thing was made from a BTAS Killer Croc. I was thinking about filling the TRU Ghostbusters 4-pack up with GB1 figures from Matty and returning it with a note asking whoever gets it to e-mail me their reaction.
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I'm just going to say hello, I haven't disappeared. Unlike the content of this site :-(
I live in texas, and these are nothing new down here. Mexico is infamous for its' HIDEOUS toy knockoffs, and they can be found in flea markets and import stores. I've personally seen the following... Harry Potter ripoffs, with terrible likenesses of the characters: The company gets by by changing the name on its card... These were HORRY POOTER figures! I have also seen the following toys, also done in the same way, with figures that would rate as a 1 on a scale of 1 to 100... WALL-E, Superman, Spiderman(spelled SPADERMAN) with his motorcycle, Gargolyes(Called GARGOLAS), Power Rangers, and Men In Black.
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To try and tide us over during this content drought—until they fix things, or enough of us get angry and drunk enough to storm the VVM building—I'm launching a new Comments Bar Feature™: Ranchoth's Daily Sensibly-Dressed Pinup™!
For the inaugural pinup—Jenny Agutter...dressed in an Apollo A7L spacesuit!
[img]http://media.photobucket.com/image/recent/tonyquine/SMDM/Agutter006.jpg>[/img]
Plus,
[img=http://borgdotcom.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/jenny-agutter-six-million-dollar-man.jpg]Ta da![/img]
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Why on earth would anyone glorify this shit??? Don't POST IT! That's what they want. Jeez, what a mess this site has become in just a week.
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Five . . . then Four . . . then three . . . then two . . . then one . . .Does that mean that tomorrow all we get is a comment in the comments section?
After thinking about it the only thing that stops me from thinking this is some big April Fools joke is that tomorrow is not April 1st.
Rob is sick enough to do it to us for shits and giggles, but I just can't bring myself believe it.
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@markpoynter6540 Rob is too busy cavorting with tubers
http://io9.com/5961670/rob-bricken-joins-io9s-staff-and-even-mr-potato-head-is-marginally-excited
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@Gallen_Dugall @markpoynter6540 You know he never shared his Mr. Potato Head sexual desires with us.
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I really liked this article!
One slightly ridiculous and very, very minor nitpick: it's "huevos" with an H, not a J.
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@Gallen_Dugall @Someguy Woohoo! I will be Riding with Death and Space Mutining at the very least!!
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@Gallen_Dugall @Someguy Robot friends ..Umm no. I do have an old blender I put a wig on, but he's not much of friend because he talks behind my back with the broom when I'm not there.
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@Someguy @Gallen_Dugall Space Mutiny? Isn't that the movie staring Block Chunkhead? or was it Lift Hardslab? All I know is that you have to sit and watch them all, while they monitor your mind (la-la-la).Now keep in mind Someguy can't control where the movies begin or end (la-la-la) He'll try to keep his sanity with the help of his robot friends.
So I hope you have robot friends. Also might I recommend
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I wonder if we will get more pity sex ... Ugh I mean posting from Chris today. He is such a tease.
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I'm not slamming the article, because I enjoyed it (Poe Ghostal's a good site), but do they think that by needlessly stretching one article over four pages that we'll somehow think we're getting more content? Thank the Maker for TR's fine commenters for working harder than whoever's still in charge to keep this site worth visiting.
The She-Hulk reference was gold, by the way.
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@AgentCoop yes, seems like the best reason to stick around are for the comments people have been making. I find them much more entertaining than the substitute's copy n' paste job. Hopefully things look brighter after the new year.
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ok the only movie I can think of that is coming out today is The Expendables 2 add to the list TRers.
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@10glfan59 Not a movie, but...
Chad Coleman has been cast as Tyreese in the Walking Dead. http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=42292
That is freakin awesome!!! I've been wondering this whole time if they were going to introduce him to the show. Some paranoid part of me kept thinking that T-dog was the tv version of Tyrese and that made me sad because T-dog was kind of a wasted character who for whatever reason, didn't get much screen time (even though IronE Singleton's a great actor). I don't know much about Chad Coleman, but hopefully he plays a good Tyrese. Now hopefully, when they cast Abraham down the road, they can get M.C. Gainey for the part.
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@10glfan59 So this is what Topless Robot has come to, a wiki type site where users update the information on the site? When is Rob coming back??!?
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wow that is a lot of hate for a group of us trying to keep TR alive cause we love this place.
@10glfan59 I hope people stick around- I'd hate to see TR go the way of the dodo just because of a wee bump in the road.
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Two more: There is an indie comedy called "Alter Ego" it stars Hyde from That 70s Show and the plot synopsis says "At a time when superheroes have lost government funding and public support, a superhero meets a girl who can help him overcome his own emotional crisis."
Last one, Cinderella has been released from the Disney vault! Now with added scene where Yoda explains to the Prince that he should follow his heart and find the women that matches the glass slipper.
@Canadian.Scott Don't you mean Yoda explains to the Prince that his heart he should follow and women find that matches the glass slipper?
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@10glfan59 Some news:
Possible Harry Osborns for Spider Man 2: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/spider-man-2-actors-testing-393106
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Also there is a Tarantino XX - 8 Film Collection which some of us here might find interesting. It includes: Reservoir Dogs, True Romance, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, Kill Bill Vol.1, Kill Bill Vol. 2, Death Proof and Inglourious Basterds
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@10glfan59 Umm....Ancient Aliens Season 4 is out today on Blu-Ray and DVD.
[IMG]http://i.imgur.com/bOBNZ.png[/IMG]
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Alright, I guess I'm next.
I've never met a sweet I didn't like. So when Geekologie.com showed a, Whinnie the Who cake from nerdachecakes.com I had to see what else they had. Check them out. From video games like Legend of Zelda and Space Invaders to a Wonder Women who looks good enough .. Ugh... These cakes look delicious and nerdy all at the same time.
http://www.nerdachecakes.com/#!CAKE-GALLERY/cwvn
Thanks to Geekologie.com for showing me the way and Nerdachecakes.com for making me hungry for the rest of the day.
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@10glfan59 Sweet! Although I have a hard time buying their, "We went back to the editor's assembly of each film and discovered some rare moments that dropped out of the films early on and had not been released on prior discs" line.
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@Someguy @10glfan59 Unless this was something they were planning on doing all along, in which case I can totally see it.
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I know that this will only entice the most hardcore Roboteers, but if you go to my profile and look at my most recent photo, I just uploaded a hilarious Spiderman I bought YESTERDAY. He is cursed with the body of a Beetleborg-like figure and was painted over. He comes with THREE GUNS!!! and there are pictures of Batman and Spiderman on the most awful box art I have ever seen.
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@Someguy @10glfan59 He has to have the motorcycle to get away from Venom's road rage.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyZh_xg22Qk
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@Regular_Stormy It hasn't been updated in forever, but that should be submitted to http://bootlegactionfigures.com/
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@Someguy @Regular_Stormy @10glfan59 I think there is a 'set' of four, but Spidey was the only one I recognized. I think the others are some newfangled Power Rangers. But they all come with the same guns if I recall. I can pick you up the set if you like, they are 1.75 each hahaha
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I couldn't pass it up. I may go back and get the others haha. Something I didn't understand though? The same vendor sold me a vinyl Oolong figure for three bucks. He had great shit and shitty shit and literally no ability to discern which was which.
@Regular_Stormy That would make an awesome haiku abomination of sorts...
The vendor had great shit and shitty shit
He sold me a vinyl Oolong figure for three bucks
