My wife may not be too happy with that wording, but whatever. How many other words are there to describe how much I want to play with a new Contra-style game that lets me play with ever-so-slightly lawsuit proof "parodies" of Rambo, Snake Plissken, Conan, Judge Dredd, Blade, Mr. T, Machete and basically every movie dude I've ever idolized, ever?
This isn't The Expendables, where we weep for how immobile our heroes are today. Pixels can do anything, and explosions begat further explosions, in my pants and on the screen. If this new trailer doesn't do it for you, then something something something Video Game Girly Man.