If you're sick of all the reporting I've done on the new Berserk anime movie... well, I don't know what to tell you, actually. In fact, I'm still trying to get my shit together after last night's victory debauchery, so I haven't even seen this video yet. You guys mind telling me how it is? That'd be awesome, thanks. Oh, Twitch says the violence in the video is censored, but only because of some weird online Japanese regulation, but the actual movie will be censorship free. So no need to panic about that. If you were going to panic. God, I need a nap.

When we last saw the Berserk anime movie -- which was only a week ago -- it wasn't looking particularly berserk. Happily, Tom M. sent me this new clip that has a touch of the series' trademark carnage, which will hopefully be enough to satiate you berserk Berserk fans. I admit, I think the blood on the camera lens is a nice touch. But if they're going to keep it on the camera, things are going to be mighty difficult to see by the end of the movie.

​• Honestly, I think I'm posting this Hogwarts beer logo purely because it's modeled after the Smithwick's logo, and I find Smithwick's o be a very tasty beer. Still, I've run shirts for worse reasons. It's $12 at Qwertee for four more hours, and then that's that.

​• Meanwhile, while it's not my personal style, I imagine there are more than a few of you who would be thrilled to wear a shirt with both Han Solo and Mal Reynolds on it. It's $12 at OtherTees for the next two days.

​• Gainax has decided to dip its toe into the Evangelion merchandising pool, and these cat-eared Evangelion hoodies -- which are being called parkas for some reason -- are the result. They come in Unit-01, Unit-02 and yellow Unit-00 flavors, and are reversible with some kind of Angel-esque leopard print on the inside. They're 7250 yen or about $95, and you can try to pre-order them here if you can read Japanese and they ship internationally and you have the wind at your back. There are more pics of 'em at ANN.

Three things I learned about the intensely awaited (by some) Berserk anime movie from this six-minute preview:
1) It's cel-shaded CG, although it look pretty good
2) There's some kind of egg in it (in fact, the movie's title is Egg of the Supreme Ruler)
3) It doesn't seem to be particularly bloody.
The last one strikes me as the most weird, as if there was one thing I thought I knew about Berserk, is that's it's really violent. Which means at this point I know nothing about Berserk. Happily, that's never stopped me from posting on a subject before. (Via Twitch)

​I kind of blew my writing wad earlier today when I went on my tirade about my local Fox station's report on how comics that aren't for kids can mess up your kids when they're given to your kids by moronic news reporters, so I hope you'll forgive me if today's FFF is a bit on the short side. There is a little bonus at the end that you won't want to miss, though, so please bear with me. Today's story comes to us from Explorertotodile, who wrote this sex-less story about Charizard where... you know, let's just start.

Let me tell you a story that starts with my Charizard, one where he wets himself on a bus. ever since this accident happened he has hardly ever made it to the bathroom dry. But let me talk about him first, he wears fingerless gloves with a poke-ball on them, he also wears Toeless socks with a pokeball on them as well! He hates games made by LJN, and hates it when he has to pee and he can't go, especially when he's about to wet himself any minute, he talks, and is sometimes impatient, he is at his worst mood when badly wet, but likes to drink lots, Now lets get to the story!

Okay. Let's immediately take a break and try and figure this insanity out. Charizard is riding a bus. Okay, that seems unusual in the world of Pokémon, but not implausible. But then he's wearing fingerless gloves and toeless socks, which baffles me. Pokémon don't generally wear clothes, and toeless socks sound like the dumbest garment ever. Who would wear toeless socks? More importantly, who would wear toeless socks without shoes... on a bus? And why would a dragon wear toeless socks without shoes... on a bus?

More insanely, Charizard apparently hates LJN videogames, which is weird because 1) LJN is a real videogames company, not one from the Pokémon universe and 2) LJN went out of business in 1994. Is this taking place in the real world? In the past? With a Charizard who rides buses and wears dumb socks and pisses himself so constantly the author feels the need to explain that wetting his pants puts him in his "worst" mood? What the fuck? Why? Why? WWHHHHHHYYYYYYY. Well, none of this will be answered after the jump.
More >>

This is the first trailer for the utterly baffling Pokémon Plus Nobunaga's Ambition 3DS game. I say it's baffling because Nobunaga's Ambition is a long-running, not uncomplicated turn-based strategy game set in feudal Japan, and Pokémon... well, is Pokémon. I see what Nintendo and Koei Tecmo are trying to do, but I can't help but feel the kids who enjoy Pokémon will find the strategy too boring and/or complex, and the people who enjoy the turn-based strategy/resource management/historical realism of Nobunaga's Ambition will find the Pokémon too cutesy and kiddie. Maybe not, though. Maybe this is exactly what every nerd and child in Japan has been dreaming of, and it'll sell a jillion copies. Certainly stranger things have happened, especially in Japan. At any rate, I'm extremely glad this exists -- we need more ridiculous game mash-ups, like maybe Silent Hill and Dance Dance Revolution. Somebody get on that. Also, +1 to anyone who knows why my article title isn't technically a typo (at least on my part). (Via Kotaku)

​• Merlin: The Complete Third Series
Yes, this is the top-selling nerd DVD release of the week. No offense to Merlin or its fans, but that's a sign of a slow DVD Day.

• Hetalia: World Series 1 Season 3
Hetalia is an anime about the nations of the world as represented by a variety of insane, pretty teenage boys. It's Japanese as all hell. I watched the first couple of episodes on Netflix Instant and it made Excel Saga look like Grave of the Fireflies. Just sayin'.

• Redline
An anime movie about death-racing that I heard of once a couple of years ago and literally have not heard mentioned once until its video release today.

• Sliders: The Fifth and Final Season
When Jerry O'Connell decides he doesn't want to return to your show, it's seriously time to call it a day.

• Princess Resurrection Complete Collection
An anime about a princess with a chainsaw who fights various classic movie monsters. I enjoyed the manga; I'm not sure how the anime is.

• Gantz II: Perfect Answer
The oddly named sequel to the live-action Gantz movie. Anyone else weirded out about how almost everything released today is anime related?

Oh, I kid. Japan must have made at least three other anime series about people who kill vampires with swords before; the difference is this time, instead of a high school with big tits, the protagonist is the Marvel comics character Blade. While the Marvel anime series have been hit (X-Men) or miss (Iron Man, Wolverine), this clip looks pretty solid, although maybe that shouldn't be a surprise; after all, you can't say Blade doesn't fall in anime's wheelhouse. Japan knows how to do its person-with-sword-versus-vampires stories. It doesn't really know how to do anything new with its person-with-sword-versus-vampires stories, but I guess we might as well take what we can get. (Via Anime News Network)

The always adorable Laura Shigihara took time out from running her criminal empire to record this wonderful cover of the theme song from Hayao Miyazaki's Kiki's Delivery Service, accompanied by Japanese classical guitarist/nerd Lonlonjp. It's pretty damn groovy, especially since it cameos Shigihara's cat Metroid as a rather authentic-looking Jiji (Kiki's cat). If you enjoy this, you can check out more of Lonlonjp's anime and videogame music covers here, and you should. I don't think you'll be disappointed.

​Last week The Hollywood Reporter said that Warner Bros.' live-action Akira adaptation was dead, and there was much rejoicing. Then Variety had to shit in everyone's Cheerios and report this:

At a time when blockbuster budgets are facing extra scrutiny, Warner Bros. has halted pre-production on its live-action "Akira" remake, which Jaume Collet-Serra is set to direct. Studio confirmed Thursday that it shut down the project's Vancouver offices as the creative team reworks the story.

...

As for "Akira," which has only "Tron: Legacy" star Garrett Hedlund locked, the studio is by no means pulling the plug. Insiders said a new writer will probably be brought on over the next two weeks to focus on character elements and particularly on the pic's look. While no one's yet been offered the job, studio is said to be eyeing Jonah Nolan ("The Dark Knight," "The Dark Knight Rises") and Michael Green ("Green Lantern").

WB prexy Jeff Robinov met with the "Akira" team to discuss several issues, including who would land the second lead opposite Hedlund. Choices had been narrowed down to Michael Pitt and Dane DeHaan, but the studio wanted to wait until after the holidays to decide. Now that decision will be delayed further.

Hopefully it will be delayed until the mountains crumble into the sea, but WB does seem pretty determined to make an incredibly shitty Akira movie that won't come close to recouping its $60-70 million budget. It'd be kind of admirable if it didn't make me want to punch every single WB studio executive in the dick.