Okay, let me level with you. Since Priest is a live-action movie based on a comic -- specifically on a Korean manwhat from Tokyopop -- I feel like I should be writing about it on Topless Robot. But it all just bores me to tears. There's something about  -- the generic vampires, the evil-hunting holy man, the Paul Bettany-ness of it -- that just defies me to feel anything other than boredom when it's mentioned. I can't even get angry and make fun of it because it's so generic and uninteresting. So you guys, watch this little Entertainment Tonight preview for it, and tell me if you don't mind if I just ignore Priest until I have something to say about it, or if you want me to keep covering it. Your call. Just let me know.

Grendizer is one of the several jillion giant robot anime series made in Japan in the '70s. The titular robot only made it to America as part of the Shogun Warriors toyline, but for some reason, the anime became super-popular all over Europe, especially France, where is was called Goldorak, and Italy, where it was called Goldrake. None of this explains the above video, however, of two kids and a woman -- a family? -- in disturbingly tight spandex doing a song and dance routine in front of a crowd of people in super-cheap alien and robot costumes holding sparklers, while a mysterious announcer occasionally says "GOLDRAKE." That occasional call-out is the only mention of Goldrake/Grendizer, meaning if it's a promotion for the anime, it's terrible, and yet if it's not, I truly cannot comprehend what purpose this nightmare was made for. When this video haunts your dreams tonight, you can blame Mie S. for giving me the tip.

There's finally a trailer out for Stan Lee's other Japanese collaboration, Heroman (the first one being the Ultimo manga, done with the guy who made Shaman King). I admit, I'm a little surprised to see that the Heroman robot is something the boy (Joey Jones) summons as opposed to pilots or transforms into; but now I wonder if he can control it with his arm thing, a la Gigantor/Tetsujin-88 or he just calls it and it punches large bug aliens. It's weird; I'm not looking forward to this per se, but I am somehow intrigued enough to want to see more (the generally excellent animation from Bones probably helps). Just to know what it's like. Whether it's actually as pro-American as it appears. Whether it's too earnest to work in America. And what the fuck is the deal with the kid with the ginormous afro. (Via Comics Alliance)

Dudes, Final Fantasy XIII comes out today. I could give a shit about today's DVDs releases even if they were good, which they're not. So instead of bothering with the meager DVD offerings today, why not just watch the above video of FFXIII's trailer history?

• Evangelion 1.11: You Are (Not) Alone
Hey, did you buy the Evangelion 1.01 movie DVD when Funimation released it four fucking months ago? Would you like to buy it again with some of its lighting issues fixed? This isn't double-dipping, this is pure fuckery.

• Mobile Suit Gundam Unicorn Vol. 1
This series is noteworthy for two reasons: 1) it's the Universal Century Gundam story in forever, and 2) it's an Amazon exclusive. Apparently Bandai has finally realized that less a thousand Americans like Gundam (besides Gundam Wing) and more or less given up.

• Tremors: The Complete Series
There was a Tremors TV series? Weird.

• Wrath of the Titans
This is a motion comic based on a supposedly Ray Harryhausen-"guided" sequel comic to the original Clash of the Titans movie. That seems... unlikely. However, the company that made the comic is Bluewater Productions, who made that Stephanie Meyer bio comic, so... it's probably even more unlikely.

• Dino Squad: Mutant Mayhem
what

Remember the flying panties anime? Of curse you do. And you likely remember the guy who made his own flying panties, then the company that made official flying panties for flying panties enthusiasts to purchase. Now, this:

These flying panty aficionados got together and flew their panties together, and holy shit that is the creepy fucking sentence I've ever typed. This skeeves me out to no end. Really, how weird/desperate/perverse do you have to be to get together with 50 men and fly panties together? Shudder. (Via Anime News Network)

​Thanks go to Topless Robot reader The Great A'tuin, one of the winners of the TR Daily List Suggestion Contest, for making everyone feel dirty.

Anime fans do love their special vocabulary. "Anime" sounds more exotic than "Japanese cartoons," just as "manga" seems better than "Japanese comics." And it's much more dignified to say "fan service" instead of "naked cartoon women, giant robots, and other nonsense that panders to people who are way too into this stuff." Technically, the term "fan service" can be applied to any frivolous thing that courts hardcore followers, whether it's a sly in-joke or some cameo by an obscure character. But let's not lie: most of the time, anime fan service refers to animated tits and ass.

But what are the worst kinds of fan service? There's certainly no shortage of anime dedicated to showing boobs and underwear and heaven knows what else, and that pool gets even larger and filthier if you explore the anime-porn market. And we'd just as soon not explore that. We maintain that the most damaging fan service comes from non-pornographic anime that goes above and beyond the usual silliness, whether it's an exceptionally shameless display or a bizarre case of slobbery-nerd-bait dragging down an otherwise straight-faced production. Join us if you like, but you probably won't want to do it at work.

This is the new trailer for the new Trigun movie Badlands Rumble; while I'd assumed the movie was going to cover some of Yasuhiro Nightow's Trigun Maximum manga that hasn't been around when the TV series originally aired in 1998, it looks like this is a movie squarely set in the anime -- actually, it looks like a Trigun version of the Cowboy Bebop movie, what with a mysterious new female gunfighter and a possibly crazy, powerful new antagonist. Even if it's not the most original thing ever, I think it'll do pretty well, possibly better than the Evangelion movies -- in America, at least. Gainax pimped and whored out Eva constantly between the TV series and the movies for 15 long, fan-serviced years, so it never really went away. But Trigun had its one TV series and then nothing, so Trigun fans actually had a chance to miss the series. I think a lot of people will actually be excited that it's back.

​A Korean man has married his dakimakura, better known as a long body pillow with an anime girl printed on it. The bride in this case is Fate Testarossa from the anime Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha. The man was not James Franco, and that's all you need to know. A Korean TV crew covered not only the "wedding" but the dates the two went on prior their matrimony; if you wish to see them they're over at Sankaku Complex. Thanks to Akashi for the tip.

I can't believe I hadn't heard of this before, but Koei, makers of an infinite number of those Dynasty Warriors games where you're one guy taking on massive crowds and so forth, is doing a Fist of the North Star game... in the same style. So instead of hacking down dozens of ancient Chinese soldiers with swords and clubs and whatever, you're fucking Ken and you're punching dozens of post-apocalyptic thugs and making their bodies fucking explode. This is the greatest idea for a videogame ever. It's perfect for FotNS, and is pretty much the most entertaining thing ever. The fact that Koei added so many other characters and their own hyperviolent ways of killing people is merely whipped cream on the sundae... the sundae of death. Koei, I know no one give a shit about FotNS in America, but please please please bring this out over here. It's the right thing to do. (Via AnimeVice)

TR reader Phil tipped me off to this video from 2008. My apologies if you've seen it already, although it doesn't appear that many people have (at least according to its YouTube page), and frankly, everyone needs to see this. Someone has basically edited a masterpiece in which G.I. Joe invades NERV, which is not only awesome but makes a great deal of sense, frankly. If watching Joes mercilessly kill the men and women of NERV doesn't make you smile, I guarantee you will when EVA Unit-02 launches. Suffice to say this is the greatest cartoon of all time.