10 Character Deaths that Warped the Minds of '80s Children

Thursday, August 21, 2014 at 6:00 am

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My first real-life experience with death took place when I was about five years old. Apparently, while I was at kindergarten, one of my two hamsters decided he no longer liked his roommate, and proceeded to do his best Hannibal Lecter impression on him. My mother walked in and saw the surviving rodent elbows deep in his counterpart's entrails. As my home had a strict "No Cannibalism" policy, she felt it was necessary to dispose of the offending creature before he busted out a nice Chianti. Her method of execution was to take the hamster, put it in a mason jar, and heave it as far as she could into the woods (sorry PETA, but this took place 30 years ago, so the statute of limitations is long past). As I walked off the bus, my sister, absolutely delighted with the thought of delivering me disastrous news, ran down to tell me the tale of the untimely deaths of both of my beloved pets. I walked the rest of the way home from the bus crying my eyes out when to my surprise, I saw my hamster was walking up the street towards my house. It was a Christmas miracle in October, that is until my mom assured me that it was not my dead hamster, scooped him up, put him in another mason jar, SEALED it this time with a lid, poked holes in the lid so it wouldn't die relatively painlessly by asphyxiation and could instead starve to death, and then launched him once more into the woods.


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Viral Video du Jour: Anime Ambulance-Chasers Will Fight YOUR Otaku Arrests

Monday, August 11, 2014 at 10:00 am

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This is not the slickest viral video ever, but I'm sharing it because (a) ambulance-chasing attorney ads generally aren't slick either, (b) the actors are all English which makes them seem like superior thespians automatically and (c) it has a joke about panty-sniffing, which made me think of some of you folks.

Also hearing British people say "douchebag" never gets old.

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Weekend Hangover: Anne Rice Rebooted, Milli Vanilli and Mario, Rubber Duck and Bondage

Monday, August 11, 2014 at 6:00 am

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James.k.Polk

What stories might you (and we) have missed over the weekend? Fear not, dear readers, for many of them have been gathered here for your perusal via reader submissions, and the assistance of Kyle LeClair.

This week's tipsters include James.k.Polk, SlyDante777, NebulaJack, troi, DrAbraxas, Gallen_Dugall, Dr.Gonzo82, rkwsupserstar, donnaryoko, Timely-Tardis-Lego

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Weekend Hangover: 16 Stories You May Have Missed, From Female Ghostbusters to Sharknado Perfume

Monday, August 4, 2014 at 6:00 am

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Rounding up some stories you may have missed over the weekend, some of which were noticed by me and others of which were submitted by you, the readers, on the weekend thread. Compiled as always with the help of Kyle LeClair.

This week's tipsters include: SlyDante777, Gallen_Dugall, James.k.Polk, donnaryoko, franciebrady27, latigid, Edwin Santos, Dr.Gonzo82

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7 Movies to Watch out for From the 2014 Japan Film Festival, and How to See Them

Friday, August 1, 2014 at 6:00 am

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The second annual Japan Film Festival at the New People Cinema in San Francisco kicked off during the 2014 J-POP SUMMIT Festival (which I covered here at some length), presenting 19 movies over the course of nine days. Here are seven that are relevant to the interests of the nerdy, and which you should check out if you can.

Some are commercially available, some are coming soon, and there's one you can watch for free right now. And really should.

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APPLESEED ALPHA director Shinji Aramaki on the Franchise's Appeal

Saturday, July 26, 2014 at 6:26 pm

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We may not speak the same language, but we had a great conversation. Human souls inside large, rabbit-eared killer cyborgs transcend cultural boundaries.

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Tags: Appleseed

The 11 Coolest Things at the 2014 J-POP SUMMIT Festival in San Francisco

Friday, July 25, 2014 at 6:00 am

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The sixth annual J-POP SUMMIT Festival was held in San Francisco's Japantown over the weekend of July 19-20, 2014. It was fun and exhilarating and loud and crowded (a serious crowd of humanity in the space of a few blocks) and full of unexpected and wonderful things. Here are some of those things - and it's not even all Hatsune Miku, but there's a lot of her, too.

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I READ YOUR FANFIC! "Voltron's Hunk and Pidge Swap Genders" Part 2

Friday, July 18, 2014 at 8:00 am

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If you want to submit fan fiction for me to read, please send it - or a link to it - to toplessrobot-at-gmail-dot-com with subject line "Read my Fanfic!"

Title: "Voltron's Hunk and Pidge Swap Genders, Part 2" by 363511

Logline: Hunk wants to have sex with his underage male friend, who turns out to actually be a girl on her first period. But he's afraid to get her pregnant, so he goes to see the witch Haggar, who will know what to do. And then Lotor interferes...

You might want to check out Part 1 first. Or not. This one's way worse.


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The Pokemon Pick-up Lines You Probably Shouldn't Use

Wednesday, July 16, 2014 at 4:52 pm

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With Comic-Con coming up, I thought this could serve as a useful reminder.

Rehearsed pick-up lines generally don't work too well anyway...but basing them on your mutual cosplay, though it might seem like a good idea for a milisecond, can lead to disaster - especially since the male nerd mind will often gravitate to bad sex puns without even thinking about it too hard.

Huh-huh. "Hard." See?

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Blu-ray Today: Explodey Heads, Unclothey Scarlett Johansson and Black Dynamite

Tuesday, July 15, 2014 at 8:00 am

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Scanners (Criterion Collection) - Scanners is one of those movies that is doomed to disappoint many who see it, simply because all most casual viewers know about it is the exploding head scene (which, to be fair, is generally used to market the movie). Well, that happens, quite early on...and then never happens again. What's left is a more cerebral, less effects-heavy tale of battling telekenetics, in factions led by Cameron Vale and Michael Ironside.

While the Criterion Blu-ray features a new transfer and several new documentary featurettes, a significant part of the appeal here is the inclusion of director David Cronenberg's 1969 debut feature Stereo, in which volunteer lab subjects are encouraged to try to increase their psychic powers via sexual experimentation. Do you think the researchers are too hard on them?

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