17 Stories You May Have Missed: Chicken Gimp Suit, Lego Mario, Weaponized Horse Crap, More

Monday, August 18, 2014 at 6:00 am

Hello Kitty in Space

SummerSlam happened this weekend (result: John Cena gets time off to make movies), as did my best friend's birthday, so it's a treat to catch up on things that happened elsewhere, about which I did not know. With the aid of Kyle LeClair, here are some reader-submitted stories we might not have caught otherwise.

This week's tipsters include: troi, Anyone00, jaganar, SlyDante777, Gallen_Dugall, Timely_Flower-Hermit, Dr.Gonzo82

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The Guardians of the Galaxy Will Discover Venom's Home Planet

Friday, August 15, 2014 at 2:30 pm


Oh, not in the movies. Legally, that can't happen. But Brian Michael Bendis is having a blast with the fact that he can do it on the page.

"I looked it up and I was like no, there's been a planet we've seen taken over by symbiotes, but have we not seen the planet of the symbiotes?" Bendis said. "I called [Marvel Senior Vice President Of Publishing] Tom Brevoort, I go, could it be that even in the craziness of the '90s when it was Venom, Venom, Venom every five seconds, that this story has not been told? And he goes, yeah we've never been there. And I'm like, now I have to do it! It's crazy."
So, uh...this all an excuse to market a ton of Rocket Raccoon-as-Venom action figures, right? Or to have the following dialogue scene?
"I am Groot."
"We are Venom."
"I am Groot."
"We Are Venom."

Just explain to me why they all have spiders on their chest when they've presumably never met Spider-Man, and we'll be good.

First 8 Minutes of Chick Tract Movie Dark Dungeons, Depicting D&D as Satanic, Are Now Online

Thursday, August 14, 2014 at 5:30 pm


Filmmaker JR Ralls, who actually got the blessing of fiery fundamentalist comic-book creator Jack Chick to adapt his tirade on the Satanic evils of role-playing games, has played it very close to the vest as to how serious his film was going to be.

Today he emailed me with this message: "There has been a lot of controversy over the film and in response we have put the first eight minutes on youtube so now your readers can judge for themselves what type of film we have made"


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Darkseid Is Weirdly Turning Japanese

Thursday, August 14, 2014 at 10:00 am


This is what happens when you let Square-Enix redesign your comic-book characters - they do waaaay more than add piping and collars. In Darkseid's case, it looks like they amputated both arms below the bicep and replaced his forearms with leftover Gundam bits.

Either that or Darkseid is attending an intergalactic comic-con and trying to cosplay as a Super Saiyan who forgot the spiky blond wig. I'm usually all for Play Arts Kai screwing around with designs, but I really think they went a little too busy on this one. It's like a fashion Apokolips.

Actual Show Footage of Marvel Universe Live! Will Make You Appreciate Iron Man 3 More

Wednesday, August 13, 2014 at 11:30 am


Specifically, you'll miss Robert Downey Jr. and Guy Pearce, once you get a load of these stuntmen overdubbed by, shall we say, less-than-perfect voice actors. But Killian does get actually set on fire, which is pretty cool.

Vulture's Abraham Rieseman saw a preview of the show, and describes it thusly:

Right at the beginning, the show shatters the film-universe boundaries: Iron Man is hanging out in Avengers Tower when feisty teenage Spider-Man stops by for a visit. Now, of course, that happens all the time in the comics ... but in the comics, Spider-Man hasn't been a teenager in decades. So this isn't the comics universe, either. They get a distress call from Nick Fury, who is African-American. That means he's not the original comics version of Fury (who was white), but he's also not the movie version of Nick Fury (who is African-American, but is a smooth-talker in a black trench coat; this Nick Fury is closer to Nick Fury Jr., an African-American character introduced to the comics as a result of the success of the movie version of Nick Fury). Nick Fury then fights aliens called the Chitauri, who only exist in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, although they share a name with a species that once appeared in an alternate-universe comics series. Wolverine is there, but the other X-Men only make brief cameos, and there's no sign of the Fantastic Four -- all of which plays into the comics-industry conspiracy theory that Marvel wants to downplay the characters whose film rights are owned by Fox because it has a bad profit-sharing deal with Fox.

But enough description - there's actual footage, and it has wires and explosions and stuff.

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New Comic Book Day: El Nino Contra El Godzilla!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014 at 8:00 am

Caution: I'm going to defend the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie in this week's comics round up. I hope we can remain friends (or at least frenemies).

Oh, and over at Valiant, it's no big whoop, but the latest Archer & Armstrong tries to explain the very nature of faith itself (with an on-the-nose yet hilarious joke about cultural appropriation and Elvis' role in that kind of thing), but even that pales when we learn that not only is there a book about a woman looking for her long-lost pirate brother, but that they were conjoined twins.

Godzilla smash! Hexed returns (sans Emma Rios), and take your kids to see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - unlike Guardians of the Galaxy, it's a complete movie.*

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Marvel Studios to Own DC's Ass Again With Heroes Created From Uranus

Tuesday, August 12, 2014 at 2:30 pm


Thank you, Marvel, for the headline opportunity. Yes, reliable sources are indicating that Marvel is moving forward with an Inhumans movie, possibly with Vin Diesel in the lead. And in a gift to totally childish writers everywhere, the Inhumans were created by the Kree based on their observations at an outpost on Uranus. And they live on the moon.

I hope we can probe a little deeper into this story, but I refuse to brown-nose, ya know? Just don't expect me to butt out. Meanwhile, DC keeps bringing up the rear.

EXCLUSIVE: Dennis Haysbert Talks Replacing Michael Clarke Duncan in Sin City 2

Tuesday, August 12, 2014 at 10:00 am


In the cinematic sequel to Sin City, most of the all-star cast of the movie could be reassembled, but not in every case. Devon Aoki was too pregnant to repeat her role as Miho, Clive Owen's Dwight needed a radically different face, and Michael Clarke Duncan didn't live long enough to reprise his role as heavy handed enforcer Manute. In his place came Dennis Haysbert, who might not seem like the immovable object Duncan was - but based on our early screening, is likely to satisfy fans just as much. We spoke to him to get the skinny.

Luke Y. Thompson: I just figured out last night that this isn't the first time that you and Michael Clarke Duncan have played the same comic book character. You were both Kilowog before.

Dennis Haysbert: Oh, yeah. He played the live action, and I played the animated version of it.

LYT: Did that come up at all in the casting process, that you guys have shared a role before?

DH: You know what? No, it didn't. Not at all. I think they were looking for me to try to make this character my own. I hope I succeeded in that. I haven't heard anything to the contrary, so I'm anxious to see my Manute on the big screen.

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Was New TMNT's Shredder Meant to Be a White Guy?

Monday, August 11, 2014 at 12:00 pm


From the beginning, it was perhaps the oddest casting decision made for the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - we were told that William Fichtner was going to play Shredder, and his character name, Eric Sacks, was pretty clearly an Americanization of Oroku Saki, the Shredder's traditional real name. Who announced this? Well, Fichtner himself, for one. But then you see the movie, and, well, he isn't. It's never really even hinted that he is - Shredder is shown right off the bat to be a tall, scarred Japanese guy, never specifically named as Oroku Saki but fitting the description. He's played by Tohoru Masamune.

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This Isn't a Photo of Zoe Saldana as Gamora

Friday, August 8, 2014 at 4:30 pm


Regular readers know I'm always quite impressed with Hot Toys - but this is a new level even for them. The only reason I know that's not a photo of the actress is because I got it from the Facebook gallery for the Guardians of the Galaxy toy.

Zoe's long overdue for some good toys - the Star Trek figures from Playmates and Mattel's Avatar figures were not exactly masterpieces. But what with this and the excellent Marvel Legends likeness, I have hopes for some decent Neytiri stuff when James Cameron finally stops diving and starts filming blue cat people again.

This doesn't make up for the weird Gamora omissions in a lot of the mass-market merchandise. But if it's any consolation, this crushes them all.