The Ballad of Leonard Nimoy

Friday, February 27, 2015 at 2:35 pm

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(If you don't know the tune, it's this)

On the sideline of the bridge, on the ship of Kirk
Stood a brave little Vulcan who was good at his work
With his angled eyebrows, bowl-cut hair, he had pointed ears ya know and everyone's aware
He's Nimoy! Leonard Nimoy! Our favorite, Mister Spock!
Nimoy! Leonard Nimoy! The number one alien I grok

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Leonard Nimoy Has Died. My Memories of Him Live on.

Friday, February 27, 2015 at 10:22 am

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My only encounter with Leonard Nimoy in person happened when I was working at the candy counter of a movie theater in Hollywood. He came up to the stand looking like a crazy old person, looked around at everything we had, then said in a loud voice:

"YA GOT ANY CANDY?"

His wife came up to him and grabbed his arm, reassuring him, "Yes dear, look, they have Milk Duds" "Yeahhh!" "And they have Red Vines!" "YEAHHH!" I don't remember what they ended up purchasing, but to this day I'm not sure whether it was an act or not.

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A Clever, Single-Take Video on the Classical Origins of the Star Trek Theme

Thursday, February 26, 2015 at 10:30 am

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I learned something today.

This video, from CBC Music (Canada's NPR, according to the producer who sent it to me) could have just given a musical history lesson and left it at that, but it's also shot so seamlessly with host Tom Allen moving around, upstairs and down, that you totally forget his musicians would have to be scrambling behind the scenes to seamlessly appear in each new location.

So come for the secret origins of the Star Trek theme - and stay for the filmmaking.

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Sesame Street Just Did a Birdman Parody No Kid Will Understand

Friday, February 20, 2015 at 9:06 am

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It is, perhaps, the greatest parody they've ever done - from a grown-up, cinephile perspective.

For a kid, it's a confusing bit about an old man who's unfamiliar to them, and a possible head trip when parents have to explain that that's the man who's usually inside Big Bird, but in this one there's a different man inside Big Bird even though the old man is doing both their voices, and no, Big Bird didn't eat anyone, he's not a real bird, he's just a big ol' puppet, and oh shit, please stop crying! Here's a cookie - want a cookie? You have to stop crying if I give you the cookie, right?

(the drumming is less annoying too)

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Lesbian Musical Dyke Hard Looks like the Jem Movie We'll Never Get

Wednesday, February 18, 2015 at 10:00 am

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It was our own Eric Diaz who suggested that a Jem movie ought to be cast with drag queens, but it looks like Swedish director Bitte Andersson has taken a similar idea and run with it. Except that the Holograms in this version are all gay, and they have to face off against cyborgs, ghosts and ninjas in order to get to the battle of the bands.

Set in 1986, Dyke Hard looks every bit as micro-budgeted as the typical Blumhouse film (which the official Jem movie will be), but actually living up to the "truly outrageous" description. It may not spell it quite the same way, but the trailer is certainly a gem. I'm used to seeing similar stuff pitched on Kickstarter - I guess in Sweden they just say fuck it and make movies like this unassisted.

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Stan Lee, Adam West, Matt Groening to Get Simpsons Action Figures

Wednesday, February 18, 2015 at 9:00 am

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It is a strange world we live in when Lenny Kravitz and Tom Petty appear side by side in an assortment with three icons of comicdom. This celebrity Simpsons line is starting to remind me more of Groening's other show, Futurama, as these figure sets feel like the equivalent of the heads-in-jars museum.

Does anyone else feel like Stan Lee gets the short end of the stick here, as the only one to be depicted looking his actual age? Maybe it's balance for having been given an unduly perfect physique in He-Man's universe.

Never Thought I'd See Alex Ross Draw Yellow Submarine

Wednesday, February 18, 2015 at 8:00 am

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When it comes to properties that are crying out for Alex Ross' realistic "let me paint my friends cosplaying as your characters" interpretations, Yellow Submarine was not at the top of my list. Or anybody's, probably. After all, we know what the Beatles look like, and the other characters were as cartoony as it gets.

And yet, here we are. And it's pretty cool. This limited-edition print will go on-sale online February 26th.

Next, Mr. Ross, I request you do a realistic Peanuts poster. Followed by South Park.

Full print image below....

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In England, an Anthem and a Festival for Guys With Small Penises

Tuesday, February 17, 2015 at 11:45 am

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If you have a small penis, I can understand being sensitive about it. If you have a small penis and (allegedly) a girlfriend, I can't entirely understand why you'd want to go over-the-top in calling attention to it. Like, I dunno, penning and singing a medieval-style ballad about your dick. And then organizing a night of cabaret called "The Big Small Penis Party" - although charging men per number of inches claimed is a genius fundraising idea.

I know London's a hike for most of you. So just listen to Antony Smith's song/poem, and by the time you're done, you won't want to go anyway.

[There, Julia: I finally wrote an article about penises. Was it all you'd hoped?]

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General Zod and Lex Luthor Are Elvis and Nixon

Thursday, February 5, 2015 at 10:00 am

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I know Elvis & Nixon, a comedy about the time when pop-culture icon and president famously met, isn't necessarily a movie that's in our wheelhouse, but the juxtaposition of it being Superman's two most recent onscreen foes playing dress-up is just too funny, especially since neither actor really looks anything like the distinctive historical figure being portrayed.

The first still from the movie has been released. Let's play caption the pic!

"Well ya never killed a Kal-El and you ain't no friend of mine"
"I am saying that when a Kryptonian does it, it is not illegal."


You're Officially Forewarned: New Frozen Short Will Have New Annoying Song

Monday, February 2, 2015 at 11:00 am

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It's only going to be seven minutes long, but Disney people don't forget where their Oscars came from, and thus "Frozen Fever" is aiming to "Let It Go" to their heads:

The short features a new song from the husband-and-wife team of Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez, who won an Oscar for Let it Go. Parents, be warned: The new song is catchy.

"If history is any indicator, kids will go nuts," says Gad.

"Frozen Fever" will play in front of Cinderella, so if you weren't planning on seeing that anyway, you're all good.

Related thought: Disney should put Star Wars shorts in front of the Marvel movies about lesser-known characters. How many of you who aren't excited about Ant-Man would go in a heartbeat if they attached a five-minute movie of Lando winning a card game with Vuffi-Raa?