Vanilla Ice Will Play Mark Twain in an Adam Sandler Western, and My Brain Just Broke

Monday, January 26, 2015 at 9:38 am

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I can't quite wrap my head around the fact that I just wrote that sentence. I suppose it's fitting given that the most famous scene from anything Mark Twain ever wrote is one that involves convincing people that whitewashing is fun.

The movie, a Magnificent 7 spoof entitled Ridiculous 6 that will be the first of Sandler's straight-to-Netflix deal, will also star Sandler, Taylor Lautner, Nick Nolte, Steve Buscemi, Rob Schneider, Dan Aykroyd, Will Forte, Nick Swardson, Terry Crews, Jon Lovitz, Luke Wilson, Steve Zahn, Danny Trejo, Chris Parnell and Whitney Cummings.

I guess Sandler thinks he could have made A Million Ways to Die in the West a hit if it had starred him instead of Seth MacFarlane? Whatever. I'm down for any movie starring Vanilla Ice. 100% serious on that. If Sandler wants to remake the Claymation Mark Twain movie and have it be a Little Nicky crossover, bring it. Anything that keeps him from making another movie about a "fun" suburban dad who doesn't always have enough time for his kids.

Weekstarter: Apocalypse Ponies, Cyborg Biker and 18 Other Things You Need to See Today

Monday, January 26, 2015 at 5:00 am

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Tenacious Toys

Apocalypse ponies! Batmobile stroller! The ferocious frilled shark! Choosing your own adventure on Twitter!

These and 16 more items you may have missed over the weekend are here to start your morning out right.

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Ask Luke's Mother in Law: Great Balls of Furry Lovin'

Thursday, January 22, 2015 at 7:30 am

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In which ex-cop/crazy cat lady/mom-in-law Martha Boyd answers your questions from the coziness of the Joshua Tree desert. All questions and answers are real.

Hey, well, here we are with another week under our belts. I watched the Oscar announcements from the lair in Joshua Tree, and will have to say I was disappointed that Best Director was an old boys' group. The director of Selma, Ava DuVernay, got totally snubbed. I mean, please, Selma got best picture - did it make itself?


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"Snoppen och Snippan": The Swedish Cartoon Genitals Song, for Kids

Friday, January 16, 2015 at 6:30 am

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As part of a children's show about health and the body, this Swedish music video depicts anthropomorphic penises and vaginas being friends - especially one old woman vagina who seems particularly happy.

The lyrics (which sound much, much better in Swedish) include lines such as "Here comes the penis at full pace", and "the vagina is cool, you better believe it, even on an old lady. It just sits there so elegantly".
And it seems that "snoppen and "snippan" are the Swedish words for the naughty bits, which could lead to a whole lot of misunderstandings - guys, suffice it to say that if a Swedish woman ever grabs your junk and says "Snoppen, snippan," she is probably wanting something good, and not necessarily planning to castrate you. Swedish dudes, vice versa - if an American woman says that to you, run the other way as fast as you can.

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The 6 Best Soundtracks for Some of 2014's Worst Movies

Thursday, January 15, 2015 at 5:00 am

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When millions of dollars get put into a movie, we like to be able to tell; while we still may have loved Guardians of the Galaxy if it had been made in James Gunn's basement with puppets and a live Motown band, it wouldn't have been quite the same. We got a great finished product from the ground up. Yet the industry often notices only half of that equation: while no truly great movies have been made from a bad script, how many times have bad scripts had millions of dollars pumped into them? Mega-budgets cover everything from marketing to meetings over cocktails...and somewhere in there are music and sound. Even though a movie may be dumb and we may be furious at what we are seeing onscreen, part of the reason the screen evokes any response at all is what we are hearing. So let's seek solace in the warm corner that is the soundtrack, while the deep, dark murky caves of this year's letdown films close in around us. Here are some of the greatest soundtracks from some of the not-so-great movies of the year.

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Friday Nerdy News Roundup and Weekend Open Thread

Friday, January 9, 2015 at 5:06 pm

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NECA

Programming note: Monday morning's feature will be Sherilyn Connelly's coverage of Image Expo in San Francisco yesterday. And how is everyone liking our new, earlier publishing schedule?

Here are a few last things to start your weekend right:

-NECA reveals production art for their next Aliens Ripley action figure (above).

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This Star Wars Rebels/Aladdin Mash-up Shows Where Ezra May Have Gotten Some Inspiration

Thursday, January 8, 2015 at 11:30 am

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If you needed proof that Disney and Star Wars were pretty simpatico, check out how well this particular musical number syncs up with Ezra's first big action sequence on Rebels - apparently a proof of concept for a much larger mashup. It's a Whole Old World...

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Here's the Ant-Man Teaser

Tuesday, January 6, 2015 at 7:41 pm

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Hmm. I liked Edgar Wright's test reel better, but to be fair, that didn't have to include any plot. As for this: earnest, earnest, earnest, cheesy, earnest, earnest, earnest, awkward CG, earnest, joke. Too early to tell. But I do like Michael Douglas and Paul Rudd.

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All the Superheroes Sing on 1980 Brazilian Bozo the Clown TV Show

Tuesday, January 6, 2015 at 1:35 pm

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Comic Book Resources dug up a gem here. Superman, Batman, Spider-Man, Wonder Woman, Thor and Shang-Chi do their best Village People routine with a song entitled "Somos Todos Super Amigos."

Introduced, of course, by Bozo the Clown and a homemade robot.

Poor Shang-Chi. Even Aquaman gets a movie before he does. But he will always have this moment in the sun.

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Classic Nintendo Themes Played on Traditional Japanese Instruments

Monday, January 5, 2015 at 8:00 am

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Famikoto, a band whose name is an amalgam of "Famicom" and "koto," blend old and new with a medley of tunes from Fire Emblem, Legend of Zelda and Super Mario Bros. (skip straight to the seven-minute mark for the familiar Mario theme)

If that's not enough for your 8-bit starved ears, and you'd like to hear them do "Let It Go" among other things, RocketNews24 has you covered.

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