This is the best thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

wow! so it was jebus that blew up the twin towers! bastard!

nothin' like rotoscoped jebus to get the witnesses to go bang on some doors! BOOYA!

lol. btw, this is an ANTI-Jehovahs Witness video, a mockery of their teachings. and a very strange way to mock at that... =\

This is just like a Mormon video I saw a few years ago, but was obviously done around the same time as the above video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVTFUQm6UZ8

I think these were part of a series of videos put out by a Christian group that doesn't like to be grouped with Jehovah's Witnesses or Mormons, despite the fact that their beliefs are similarly ludicrous. Kind of a "throwing stones in a glass house" situation.

Honestly, if the true faith were to be determined by who believed in a presentation the most, I'd pull for the one with "infinite celestial sex."

One word "WOW"
So did JW take their propaganda lessons from the Nazis? That was really positive alright? I guess that explains their motivation for all that knocking on the door business. NO BIRTHDAYS FOR YOU AND FIREBALLS FROM THE SKY...ARRRRR!!!!
(yea, I'm not at all PC, so screw off)

You know what if Jesus is really that big of an asshole then screw them they can have heaven. It wouldn't be any fun anyway. Nope no holiday's in heaven there's work to do.

What the fuck!

Yeah, this is basically like the South Park mormon video -- it was produced by somebody who hates Jehovah's Witnesses to make their doctrine look stupid (and it does a good job of it).

That takes a lot of the comedy out of it, and makes it just a hatchet job. (Accurate for all I know, but still a hatchet job.)

As an ex Jehovah's Witness, I don't remember anything about the upright stake bit. It was a cross, but they didn't like it as a symbol b/c it's a bit like making the symbol of JFK a rifle.

This wasn't made by JW. As was mentioned above, it was made by another religious group to make them seem crazy and evil. This looks like someone read a Cliff's notes version of their belifs, ran it through a blender to be unrecognizable, and made a crappy cartoon from it.

Jehovah witness's are crazy. Just because someone made a cartoon making them look crazy does not mean that they are not crazy. Must be fun to be part of a religion that only allows 144,00 into heaven. That part is true.

OMG

So Jesus still keeps to be a rockstar, with the meteor shower and everything.

This is beyond my wildest dreams. Thank you, Jesus, for now I shall live my life in terror

Vig> Indeed. I always thought that suspect, actually. If only such a small number are allowed in, then why are they always knocking on doors and trying to convert people? Does that not reduce their odds of getting in?

Also, I think they refer to it as "Paradise," rather than "Heaven."

--LBD "Nytetrayn"

The 144,000 part reminds me of a my childhood when a couple of Jehovah's Witneses came to our door. My Mom, who doesn't really stand for their kind of crap, let them make they initial spiel. When the lady ended with something to the effect of "you don't want to be left out of heaven, there are only 144,000 spots available." My mom asked her "Aren't you afraid I'll take your spot?" The lady shut up, looked kind of concerned, turned around and walked away.

My father-in-law was raised JW, and now he hates those guys. When they come to the door, you better watch out.

You guys should really watch this one...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InQ2MT6s4XU&feature=related

Winzerous, I thought my day couldn't get any better after seeing the original vid. You proved me wrong, Thanks!

Most fun I've ever had:

!) Heard knocking on door
2) Looked through, saw yearly Jehovah's Witnesses

In the span of a minute

3) Put on "Heresy" by Nine Inch Nails
4) Took pants off (boxers only)
5) Put on Children of Bodom T-Shirt with a bloody Grim Reaper on the front
6) Opened door right as Trent Reznor started shouting "GOD IS DEAD! AND NO ONE CARES! IF THERE IS A HELL, I'LL SEE YOU THERE!"

The reaction was absolutely priceless.

McTool> Reminds me of an old friend of mine, who said he once answered the weekly visit of JWs with the lights out, candles lit, a dark robe, a copy of the Necronomicon, and a big bloodied knife. "Yeeeesss?"

And, as he tells it, they ran away, never to return.

--LBD "Nytetrayn"

Wow. Notice all the people that rule the Earth at the end are all really, really white.

As a Christian myself, I sometimes consider being offended by Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses, but then I remember how fun it is to make them cry. Too bad they've all avoided my house for years.

I love the way at 3.06 it cuts from the pile of dead people (pointedly topped by a dead child) to a smiling bethroned Jesus rocking his best Buddy Christ! Brilliant.

I like how Jesus looks confused and mildly disturbed after being resurrected. It's not just you dude, it's not just you.

Ho boy

After working with a Jay Dub for a while, I really wish this had come my way back then.

The inane babble, the excuses for everything. Like they don't vote because they only answer to God, they don't celebrate birthdays because some dude asked for the heads of his people (I think it was mistranslated, he wanted his people to give him head...), they don't celebrate anything but "anniversaries" which was never fully or adequtely explained to me.

But come football season, oh you better bet they made a big deal out of that. To which I always asked, isn't it wrong to celebrate anything other than god? Isn't celebrating football games and their teams celebrating false idols? Never got an answer on that...

Whoa, that is one scary, Charles Bronson-lookin' Jesus there. I used to think there was no place for religious propaganda in public school, but I just changed my mind. That cartoon should be shown to all first-graders immediately. We'll be an atheist nation within a genereation.

Jesus is HeMan AND the Wizard from Fantasia, all wrapped in one. Excellent! :D That's how I like my God, good 'n wrathful.

You know that this is crap because if Jesus were really that vengeful he would've smote at least half the featured authors of Fanfiction Friday by now.

What the?! No black people in heaven?

Also; Only 144,000?! Man, we're all going to hell! Because I assume that those 144,000 have never seen porn of any kind. We're screwed.

But I must say, Jesus looks awesome in the cartoon. He's like a rock star.

This was a "lost" chapter from Heavy Metal, must of been from the same anmation company!!! LOL... damn... invisible Jesus... AKA Micheal, is an AKA FUCKING DICK!!!

That videos is incorrect in portraying the beliefs of Jehovah's witnesses.

JWs do not believe that Jesus was 'only a man'. He was the son of God.
Whether he died on a stake or cross is irrelevant.

We do not believe that he will destroy all but the faithful Jehovah's Witnesses.

I loved it when the church blew up. So true.

What is scary about it?

What is hateful about it?

The 144,000 are not select Jehovah's Witnesses.

You need to get facts from JWs themselves.

I loved it when the church blew up. So true.

What is scary about it?

What is hateful about it?
The fact that Jesus / God is a psychotic mass-murderer with teeming hordes of worshippers who want to tell us that murdering people (at least when their God does it) is an expression of love?

Jesus, butt fucking Christ this is hilarious, I like the way he's just sitting on his throne after he fucks everyone's shit up like he's having a blast and that last guy in the blue suit has this smug look on his face like he beat all the non-believers at some cosmic game of checkers.

Listen to Carlin, worship the sun and pray to Joe Pesci.

Sweet merciful Jesus, that is some fucked up shit.

Jesus is the Archangel Michael in heaven???

Ah... that would explain the 1995 John Travolta movie "Michael"....

Nothing can explain the movie "Michael".

And that video is all sorts of messed up.

Dale North said:
This is the best thing I've ever seen in my entire life.

Garyx said:
This is beyond my wildest dreams. Thank you, Jesus, for now I shall live my life in terror

These two comments express exactly how I feel.

One thing the vid should have mentioned is how good people who are not part of the 144,000 get to wait in their graves until the "New World" is created. Joy!

That was really funny. Thanks for posting it.

But, you should know that the cartoon wasn't made by Jehovah's Witnesses. It appears to be a parody of actual JW beliefs. I've been a Jehovah's Witness for most of my life and I had never seen or even heard of that cartoon before. As other comments have pointed out, its not an accurate portrayal of our beliefs.

If you want to see what Jehovah's Witnesses actually believe you can always look at watchtower.org, which is the official website for the religion.

toxic said:
(As an ex Jehovah's Witness, I don't remember anything about the upright stake bit. It was a cross, but they didn't like it as a symbol b/c it's a bit like making the symbol of JFK a rifle.)

How can you be an ex JW and not remember the bit about the upright stake!?! They actually believe Jesus died on an upright stake and not a cross. They do think wearing or displaying a cross is idolatry, however. I would know. I actually am an ex JW. Sheesh.

This all makes perfect sense, people! You know it does!

why would Jeebus blow up NYC, the Jehovahs Witness' HQ is in downtown Brooklyn??

I love the way they base 'facts' around improvable scenarios; Jesus is invisible to those on Earth? Wtf? I mean seriously, how gullible do you need to be to believe this shit? Religious nutcases! AARRGHHH!

I like to talk about stool.

All I have to say is...

OH MY GODDESS WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!

Wait, Evil Jesus did that. He Killed EVERYTHING WITH FIRE.

Just... wow.

This video has changed my life. This is far from the worst cartoon ever, I would consider it THE SINGLE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER VEIWED!!!!!!!! It's moments like this where i wish I were a jehovah's witness and worthy of being one of the 144,000 lucky ones that will rule heaven with evil winged jesus the destroyer of churches and small children.