By Rob Bricken in
Comics, Miscellaneous
Monday, Mar. 23 2009 @ 2:31PM
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So most of the entries deserve second place, including but not limited to the following: Chris, Zortt1, Neal Snow, y2jbrak, Jason, edgreen86, "Starman" Matt Morrison, asat, Brion, Carlos Adama, DW, de12, Heavy D, Golem, Oddkin, Marsten, ManwithPez, Rocky City Warrior, Stain, Mermista, and more. To steal a line would be to miss out on some epic tales of comic book awfulness, so if you missed 'em, just go read them here.
As for the winner, it's AzureBlaze for Sonic Live. Because why there may be comics with stupider stories and with less grasp of tyheir characters, I think Sonic Live still earns the title of purely worst. As AzureBlaze explains:
Yes, Sonic the Hedgehog had/still has two comic books monthly, but way back in the day something terrible happened. On an ego trip EVEN GREATER than that of McFarlane (above) one of the editors of the book decided to do a (well its not a self-insertion..but) book with HIS OWN KIDS as the stars. Yeah he took like some photos and then drew Sonic in the background for something like the worlds' ugliest mary-sue fanfic.
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More impressively, I learned that rather than try to explain that Sonic was created by a Japanese man named Yuji Naka, the comic reported that the blue hedgehog was made by two named Jerry and Mori. Why? Because American kids are too stupid to possibly understand that people of than in America create things? Because Japanese people are baffling and frightening to the Archie editor's clearly learning-challenged children? Because the editor's father was killed in Iwo Jima, and he's always resented them? No idea.
If you disagree with my choice, I dont blame you, since there were some seriously stellar entries. But I still guess that Sonic Live will be the only comic book they're likely to give me when I end up in hell.
22 comments
Comments
Jeremy said:
I have that comic. A little piece of me just died.
Strangeman said:
Why the fuck can't Sonic just stay in his own god damned dimension and stop fucking around in the real world, like he does in Sonic-X? Nobody wants him here. Just fight Robotnic and eat chilli dogs and shut the fuck up.
Rob said:
Damn you, Strangeman. Your comment just made me do a spit take, and I wasn't even drinking anything.
tonberry2k said:
I've been buying the Archie Sonic books for years now, and yes. That was terrible. For the record though, it was Penders's niece and nephew, not his kids, who starred in Sonic Live.
tasakeru828 said:
As a long-time reader of the Sonic comics, I can certainly appreciate why this one won.
By the way, the person responsible for this travesty was Ken Penders, infamous among the fandom for being an utter douchebag and driving the comic to near-cancellation in his last ten issues or so before being unceremoniously canned by Archie Comics.
Yes, the COMIC BOOK COMPANY fired him for being a shitty writer. You can't say that about Jeph Loeb...
Anyway. I happen to have known a nice guy who used to work under Penders (with "slightly less authority than the water cooler", as he put it). He had a bunch of wonderful stories about Penders's acting like an ass to get his way, up to and including screaming at the top of his lungs for hours until the higher-ups gave in...
MyNoNos said:
That is a great entry!
I still really loved the Charles Barkley V Godzilla entry though. Can't remember who posted it, and I'm too lazy to look back, but big ups to that guy!
I'm sure he is one of the names our boy mentioned above.
McTool said:
Damn! Finally, I could have written about Sonic and won, but I elected not to! Curses. Then again, I didn't even know about this travesty, so it wouldn't have mattered.
Neal Snow said:
Good choice. Fumetti comics are always pieces of shit.
Sonic2nd said:
I'm very glad to see that someone remembered how awful this comic was. I was a huge Sonic fan growing up so I bought this comic when it came out. I read it once and stored it away so I wouldn't have to look at it again. This comic might actually be why I grew up hating original characters and self insertion fan fics.
Adam E said:
I like this pick. That comic looks revolting. I feel sorry for the man's kids.
smashpro1 said:
Sonic2nd, I hated them because they sucked
General Tekno said:
I own that comic.
And yeah, it IS pretty bad.
What's WORSE is that Penders was actually aiming for plot elements of it to GO somewhere down the line. I kid you not.
Oh, and then there's the "Sonic/Image" crossover which was more of a vehicle for his own characters than a Sonic/Image crossover.
Kurono K said:
Oh god, I remember this. Jesus christ, why the hell does this exist.
edgreen86 said:
Damn fine choice. Of course, in the field of comics, finding great stuff isn't hard. Finding awful shit is about as easy as picking a cheap $20 working girl on Sunset Blvd.
Least, I've been told its easy...
LBD "Nytetrayn" said:
I'm ashamed I didn't think of neither this nor the Image crossover for this thing.
Still, to anyone who's been burned by the comic in the past, I definitely and wholeheartedly recommend giving it another chance, as I find the book is quite simply fun to read these days.
--LBD "Nytetrayn"
LBD "Nytetrayn" said:
Oh, I should add that Sonic wasn't just created by Yuji Naka; it was a collaboration. And who knows, maybe they figured it was easier to do this than explain how that worked?
--LBD "Nytetrayn"
Eric Fine said:
Oh man... I have this issue... I'm kinda depressed...
SonarDragon said:
Thank god I only downloaded rather than bought this.
Ryan the Game Master said:
Glad I never wanted this one in the first place. Geez...
Sonic the Hedgehog said:
Some people happen to like Sonic, whether it is a video game, a comic, a toy or whatever. I think the foul language is completely unnecessary.
Brion said:
Congrats to the winner. God damn that is one horrible piece of crap comic. I'd rather go read Ultimates Vol 3 again.
amiterisu said:
Yeah,please...stay out of our world sonic*agreed with the first comment*.This was a pretty bad issue.I havent looked at it since I've gotten it*Which was about 5 years ago*This was about as bad as the naugus games one,several pannels with just blackness...lazyness.
