TR Contest: Worst Single Issue Comic You Ever Read (Plus BSG & Dollhouse News)

Before I get to this week’s content, I’d like to remind you nerds that tonight is not only the Battlestar Galactica finale, but the episode of Dollhouse where it’s supposed to get good. One note about BSG: Apparently the episode is 2 hours and 10 minutes long, so if you’re recording it, make sure to Tivo the show afterwards, or you’re going to get fucked — er, frakked, and not in the good way. Now for all you Dollhouse apologists: the first five episodes of Dollhouse have been much, much worse than the first seasons of Buffy, Angel or Firefly. To all you haters: If there is anything Whedon does well, it’s building off what has come before, and I believe it’s entirely possible these past episodes were only to set the stage for what’s to come. Will it be worth it? I’m actually kind of optimistic. So there.

Now to the contest, which I have high hopes for. I’m specifying single issues, because we’ve all gone over the Spider-man Clone Saga, and I want to find out some new terribleness that I had not been aware of. For me entry, one of the first comics I ever read was Secret Origins: Phantom Stranger, which my grandmother bought me when I was sick because… it was in arm’s reach, apparently. I had no idea who the Phantom Stranger was, and after reading the issue, I still didn’t — there were four utterly conflicting origin stories, ione of them being that the Phantom Stranger was the Wandering Jew, a.k.a. the Jew who beat the hell out of Jesus while he was on the cross, and the only dude Jesus cursed (having recently been crucified, he was apparently testy) specifically to wander the earth. The fact that beating up Jesus was enough to make someone a superhero in the DC universe totally freaked me out when I was little, and is probably one of the reasons I tend to prefer Marvel.

But I’m sure you guys can do worse better better-worse. Here are the rules, and remember, the contest ends at 3 am on Monday the 23rd, Eastern Standard Time, or midnight for the West Coast Topless Roboteers. Now, hit me with your best shot. I’ve got to triple-check my DVR.