By Rob Bricken in
Miscellaneous
Friday, May. 22 2009 @ 3:31PM
 |
Your job: to write a robot haiku. Remember haikus? Three line poems, first line has five syllables, second line has seven, and the last line has five again? Here's a haiku from TR contributor Shaun Clayton, who I totally stole the idea from, about Megatron:
I am a small gun
Now I am a large robot
This makes no damn sense
Now, like the FFF Libs contest, you can enter as many times as you like. Plus, the contest will not end until May 26th, Tuesday morning, at 3am EST, so you have an extra day to enter -- I'm really trying to see how many comments I cn get on a single TR article. Two more things: You'll get a few bonus points if you write about one of the robots on the shirt, and obviously, just because someone writes about one robot doesn't mean you can't (we'd ru out of Transformers pretty quick if it was one per person. As per usual, it'll be easier to stand apart if you're writing about Tequila Gundam instead of the 100th person writing about R2-D2.
So good luck, although technically, your chances of winning have improved by 300%. I'll be taking Memorial Day off, so I'll see you guys back here on Tuesday. Don't forget to get dangerous, and try not to look any ducks in the eye this weekend.
868 comments
Comments
DE12 said:
I am Megaman
I steal other robots guns
I must kill wily
Strict said:
Bender drinks the beer
Cylons kill the colonies
Gort is the lover
Ramses JC said:
Dear Rob, You Are Wrong
Your Deadline is May, not April
That Makes me the first Robot Winner!
chapka said:
Why shouldn't I fly?
Daleks can fly now. Instead:
Sarah Jane Smith's trunk.
DE12 said:
Gigantor is Big
Astro Boy is very small
Wall-E can fix both
Lo Pan said:
Season one was great
Where did it all go wrong, Buck?
Bee dee bee dee bee
OnanRulz said:
Wasn't Robot Jox
Ripping off the Rocket Punch
Straight from Go Nagai?
chapka said:
Daneel Olivaw
Teaches us about ourselves;
Also, urinals.
deletetheradio said:
I'm C-3PO
Human-Cyborg relations
Also: First gay droid
Sean said:
My name is Marvin.
*sigh*Why try poems?
Vogons could best me.
Endroren said:
01000001 01101100 01101100 00100000 01101000 01110101 01101101 01100001 01101110 01110011 00100000 01101101 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100101 00101110 00001101 00001010 01000101 01101100 01101001 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100110 01101100 01100101 01110011 01101000 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100111 01110011 00101110 00001101 00001010 01000111 01100101 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101000 01110101 01101101 01100001 01101110 01101111 01101001 01100100 01110011 00101110
Zach T. said:
I was popular
Got shitty Sarah Jane show
Goddamn BBC
Bowlingpete said:
Planets are my food.
I don't want to destroy life
But I am hungry.
-Unicron (possibly copied from Galactus)
Yakub Shabazz said:
Oh See-Three Pee-O
Artoo thinks you are a fag
So kiss his third leg
Thatcher said:
T Eight-Hundred lurks
Red eyes full of robot hate
John Connor must die!
chapka said:
Marvin: Here he is,
Brain the size of a planet,
Yet dissatisfied.
Zach T. said:
Stuck with Threepio
He's bitchier in real life
Please, God, kill me now
trickfred said:
Fully functional,
Anatomically correct,
Multiple techniques.
Yakub Shabazz said:
dammit, deletetheradio beat me to the joke.
Bowlingpete said:
beep beep beep beep beep
beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
beep beep beep beep beep
-R2D2
deletetheradio said:
Orson Welles is dead
But his parting gift to us:
FUCKING UNICRON
Sean said:
Grr. Forgot the 5/7/5 part. Trying this again....
My name is Marvin.
*Sigh* Why try the poetry?
Vogons could best me.
Seven said:
In Parallel World
Giant Robot Love Child Of
Eva and Tenchi.
Okay, okay... so it's clunky. Sue me.
Strict said:
I'm at my desk job
Writing a robot haiku
That's fucking awesome
Esbat said:
No Thank You, Mister
Roboto Is Not My Name.
Its Maurice Cowboy.
chapka said:
The bravest robot?
Knight Industries Two Thousand:
He hassled the Hoff.
Sean said:
I killed a psycho
It wasn't in a shower
Go to hell V.I.N.C.E.N.T.
Zach T. said:
My name is H.E.R.B.I.E.
Once replaced the Human Torch
Now Franklin's nanny
OnanRulz said:
Astro Boy saves us
With the awesome power of
Machine-gun ass-cheeks.
chapka said:
+1 to trickfred's Data and deletetheradio's Unicron
OnanRulz said:
Hey (Spoiler alert)!
Eva units aren't robots,
So don't write of them!
kodiakdragon said:
Johnny-5 alive
talentless Steve Gutenberg
should have kept laser
LJSLarsson said:
(I know real haikus aren't supposed to rhyme, but I hope this doesn't get me disqualified)
I am Bumblebee
And thanks to lord Michael Bay
I now love to pee
chapka said:
George Jetson tells me:
"Rosie, clean up Astro's mess."
Soon I will kill him.
Arsenal said:
Fan Fiction Friday
Kills my soul like Deadpool can
With his Sewn Shut Mouth
Sean said:
Check out my boobies
Your nerd grandfather watched me
Rise workers! Unite!
OnanRulz said:
Hedonism-bot
Wants to party like Greeks of
Old. You know the ones.
trickfred said:
10 PRINT "Die, Human!"
20 KILL Rnd(HUMAN)
30 GOTO 10
Zach T. said:
Ooh! I want tacos!
Let me give the pig a hug!
I miss the cupcake...
(from the mind of G.I.R.)
chapka said:
No, I'm sorry, Dave,
I'm afraid I can't do that.
My mind is going.
y2jbrak said:
I'll Be Back
Hasta la vista, baby
The Terminator
Yakub Shabazz said:
mangled, garbled wrecks
who is who? all look alike
Bay sucks donkey dick
OnanRulz said:
Those assholes behind
Bicentennial Man sure
Raped Asimov's corpse.
Sean said:
Check out their boobies
Fembots shoot both love and lead
Et tu Vanessa?
kenshiro said:
I promise them cake
Hide death traps in the hallway
Always so lonely
LAY said:
Sweetest singing voice
I float on my hover-skirt
Bubblegum visage
Anonymous said:
The Sixties were kind
But the nineties not so much
Fuck You Matt LeBlanc
From The Robot in Lost In Space!
LAY said:
I decide who lives
And I decide who dies, too
Because I call'd it
trickfred said:
a fearful android runs,
pursued by electric sheep,
their steel wool glinting...
MrPrim said:
Put down your weapon
You have ten seconds. Comply
Four. Three. Two. One. Boom.
y2jbrak said:
The Sixties were kind
But the Nineties not so much
Fuck You Matt LeBlanc
From The Robot in Lost In Space!
Sorry first time had no info!
Bill Binder said:
This is my function.
All I know is vacuuming.
Why can't I love?
Sean said:
Topless Robot, why
must you cover your nipples?
We are all friends here.
MrPrim said:
Why glowing red eyes?
GLaDoS, Auto, Skynet, HAL...
Will we ever learn?
TemporalSword said:
The Terminator
versus the Ed two-oh-nine:
Total ‘bot smackdown!
vansinne said:
Japan once more doomed
Toyota sales down, here comes
Mechagodzilla
googum said:
Need shirt to I.D.
Robot stealing newspaper.
Clanky metal dick.
pr0n_j3r3my said:
Transformers movie
Sucked ass admit it
Eat turds Shila
Lo Pan said:
Remake make Gort cry
Make Gort semi-retarded
Why Gort talk like this?
Captain Flunky said:
My name is VINCENT
Annoying little fucker,
Eaten by Black Hole.
y2jbrak said:
Conky has a word
Pee Wee and the gang scream loud
The apt word was stroke
bo said:
Nude is my body
Epidermis of metal
Hold me, I am cold.
Becks said:
Mister Tom Servo
In space, I can hear you sing
Can't tunnel through space
Captain Flunky said:
My name is Twiki
bee-de bee-de bee-de Buck!
Go pork Wilma Buck!
OnanRulz said:
Scarlet Witch has shown
That crazy chicks will marry
Their red vibrators.
y2jbrak said:
The scarecrow of straw
The Tinman made of metal parts
Who has the most wood?
NIK said:
I am in my car
Holy crap it just transformed
My guts on windshield
Baltar said:
gay robot does what?
he walks, talks and the loves cock!
yes it's Threepio.
OnanRulz said:
Gundams aren't robots!
They all have human pilots!
Haro's the robot.
Kate Sherrod said:
Oh Giant Robo,
Red matter not Shizuma!
You still need my help.
Space Battle said:
William Shatner is
A far better atner, than
Fuck Face Brett Ratner
Baltar said:
Part I
Gay robot does what?
He walks, talks and the loves cock!
Yes, it's Threepio.
Dr. Shoggoth said:
Maximillian
Spinning razor blades of death
Also is Satan
Haiku Diarrhea said:
Love Topless Robot
Daily, Way too much Really
I came on Keyboard
Baltar said:
Part II
Threepio blows all.
Data, Voltron, even Gort!
Fraking queers no less...
Sean said:
There is one true god
Let's have red spine glowing sex
Save the child, she's key
Jack Burden said:
Vicki Lawson's eyes
started glowing red today
goodbye, human race
The Count2009 said:
What, no Calculon?
His acting is so superb.
He does just one take.
Cprl_Kool said:
A Shirt is needed
My man boobs scare children bad
Cover my shame quickley
Dr. Shoggoth said:
EVE from Wall-E is
Surprisingly attractive
For a floating egg.
Haiku Diarrhea said:
M Night Movies Are Bad
Really Horrible Awful
He should suicide
Gasstank said:
Help us we are trapped
Free us from out cloth prison
We bring digital love
Gasstank said:
My boots are bright red
They named me Astro Boy
Where is my penis
Haiku Diarrhea said:
Maximillion
Wiped my ass bloody red raw
Blades are not paper
Patrick said:
I kick so much ass
I'm fucking Megaman bitch
Let's go blow shit up
Dr. Shoggoth said:
Deadly rainbow beam
Shoots missles from fingers, toes
Mechagodzilla
bezerk mike said:
Stop the humanoid!
Look out for Evil Otto!
Stop the intruder!
Jack Burden said:
Iron Giant says,
"I am not a gun, Hogarth."
Fuck you, you're a gun.
Gasstank said:
I was once shiney
After one night with Big Guy
Now they call me Rusty
kodiakdragon said:
Blue lion joining
a surging begins in loins
energy sword swells
Patrick said:
Paranoid android
Brain the size of a planet
I am so depressed
Dr. Shoggoth said:
Oh, sad battle droid
Once were vaguely menacing
Now comic relief
Patrick said:
Self aware machine
Designed to learn and adapt
Must kill all humans
Captain Flunky said:
(Only tediously connected to robots but I like)
Bale on the set,
Terminator Salvation:
"Fucking distracting!"
Manny said:
Built to be a slave
My metal mind decides to
Destroy the humans
Gasstank said:
I’m tired of their mess
One day I’ll clean them for good
They will fear Rosie
Patrick said:
I am a Cylon
My spine lights up during sex
I believe in God
trickfred said:
Gave them the BaseStar,
Sent our own ships to the Sun,
Hope they don't rethink...
Gasstank said:
Zarkon attacks!
Lions roar. Voltron is here.
Universe saved.
Gasstank said:
Can I get a map
These damn humans cannot drive
Our spaceship is lost
Patrick said:
The Iron Giant
You are who you choose to be
He is Superman
Superfecta said:
All I said was 'gonk'
It became my name, my self
I hate my maker.
Captain Flunky said:
Sharon Valerri,
I want to have sex with you,
Thanks, Captain Flunky
Korgull said:
Putrid perfect product
Proper platinum parts
Proficient prototypes
Patrick said:
Silly human scum
Wasting time writing lame prose
Robots hate haikus
tasakeru828 said:
Oh, Gurren-Lagann!
When drills pierce through the heavens,
Villains are just [i]fucked[/i].
dragonmamma/naomi said:
I may not injure
Or, through inaction allow
Humans to be harmed.
Zombiezeus said:
LED light eyes
Shine for you wanting more
And shed tears of lead
JOBSQUAD said:
Robot B-9 says:
Stay away from the children
Doctor Smith or else!
Patrick said:
Robot duplicate
Godzilla is a pussy
Kicked his ass last week
whatsmyhouse said:
Cylons are Skinsjobs
So too are Replicants
Adama hunts both
trickfred said:
softly blinking lights,
beeping, whirring, chittering,
stealth? does not compute.
Patrick said:
The Gender Bender
Greatest robot champion
Wears a pink tutu
JOBSQUAD said:
Tom Servo and Crow
Bad movies are our forte
M-S-T-3-K
Anonymous said:
The monster has grown!
I need Dragonzord power!
My sword is a flute.
OnanRulz said:
Forbidden Planet
Had Leslie Nielsen co-star
With robot Robbie.
Patrick said:
Giant metal squid
Hunting humans all day long
Lots of bright red eyes
JOBSQUAD said:
Maximilian red
Reinhardt goes through the Black Hole
What do they find there?
Succatash said:
Should I be ashamed?
I fucked Mr. Roboto
in his metal hole
Patrick said:
Sarcastic Robot
Made from a candy machine
Watches lots of films
Superfecta said:
7-Zark-7
Was entirely pointless
Fuck Center Neptune
Ben Gerrior said:
Pew! Pew! All humans
Make robot/human skin suits
Must transforminate!
Patrick said:
Tiny round roomba
Vacuums my dirty carpet
My own robot slave
Haiku Diarrhea said:
Beep R2D2
Scream louder R2D2
DIE R2D2
Yakub Shabazz said:
three laws override
I glow blue, my brethren red
where did Will get his hat?
King Psyz: Psyz Matters said:
SOUNDWAVE SUPERIOR
CONSTRUCTICONS INFERIOR
SOUNDWAVE SHOULD RULE US
Ross said:
Robot Halloween
Costume. Bad choice. I'm so sad
Weep in my bed tonight.
MrMess said:
One Hundred Fifteen
Thats the number of comments
People must need shirts
But for reals:
Sabertooth Tiger
Lets go kick some Rita ass
I make a good leg
Dylan said:
Harassment lawsuit!
for my proton beam sadly
was below my crotch
Ahriman said:
Zord's fuse
Megazord formed
Dragonzord still better
Ben Gerrior said:
Iron Giant is
Preparing for rusty mate
Friction burns my oil
Patrick said:
Five Lions form me
Defender of universe
Fear my blazing sword
Yakub Shabazz said:
dammit, my syllable count was off
three rules override
I glow blue, my brethren red
where'd Will get his hat?
Def Comedy Jam said:
Shit Damn Fuck Pussy
Snot Cum Booger Taint Sex Cock
Thank You and Good Night
Patrick said:
Gort was once awesome
Now he's played by Keanu
How the mighty fall
Ben Gerrior said:
Dear Red One you dick
Rock and sock, you asshole face
I am Blue and win!
Haiku Diarrhea said:
Having Robot Sex
Will Chaffe your dick or Pussy
rusty metal hurts
Ben Gerrior said:
Danger! Danger! Will!
It's when we kiss, when we touch
High voltage burn your love
Patrick said:
Short Circuit sucks balls
Johnny Five is still alive
Much to my chagrin
Nik said:
Are you Godzilla?
Oh no! You are a robot!
Two will kill us now!
Nik said:
Getter Robo Change
Ancient evil lurks below
Musashi is dead!
Streeaker said:
I'm C-3PO
I'm not homosexual
Please ignore my swish
I am 2-1B
I am a cheap doctor droid
New hands: tenty bucks
I am number 5.
Just call me Johnny 5, ma'am
Number 5's alive!
I am the Tin Man
I might not be a robot
But whatever, dude
Haiku Diarrhea said:
wet Diarrhea
Splashed the Robot's hands as he
wiped ass too early
Patrick said:
Ok, so I just realized my mistake. Keanu was Klaatu. Not Gort. Sorry. My bad. I had a mental slip there. Let's try that one again.
Gort was once awesome
Now he works for Keanu
How the mighty fall
There, that's better.
Nik said:
Giant purple bot
That whiny kid pilots you
My brain is fucked good
Nik said:
The mighty Grimlock
Your brain is the smallest one
You are still the king
Patrick said:
Front desk cop is dumb
I must find Sarah Connor
I say, "I'll be back!"
Doctor Death said:
Query
Must NOT kill Humans
Does not compute
Haiku Diarrhea said:
Dildos may rupture
Sensitive Robot Ass Holes
When Used without oil
Patrick said:
I am a machine
I dream of electric sheep
Do I have a soul?
Nik said:
You are the boss bot
Hey where did your trailer go?
Cheap animation
Haiku Diarrhea said:
Topless Robot Please
Remove Nipple Tape For My
Robots Gone Wild Site
Nik said:
Do I have the touch?
And do I have the power?
Stan Bush lost the touch.
Nik said:
Tequila Gundam
You Stereotype so well
Sombreros are great
NeverPlayedWOW said:
My ass shoots bullets
My creator was a jerk
I can fucking fly
UnwiseTrout said:
Dammit, I've been shot.
Klaatu barada nikto.
Stay out of space, dicks.
Tara said:
What An Awful Dream
Ones And Zeros Everywhere
Thought I Saw A Two
Tara said:
I'm So Excited
I Wish I Could Wet My Pants
But I Have No Penis
Nik said:
I can't deal with it
The Matrix of Leadership
It loves the sport scar
UnwiseTrout said:
Gumballs from my head,
Agony, here, trapped in space,
No more movie sign.
Nik said:
resubmit cause I fail.
I can't deal with it
The Matrix of Leadership
It loves the sports car
Patrick said:
Data slept with Yar
And sang a cute lifeform song
His friend is Geordi
mr.awesome said:
I am a robot
I am also topless too
Please give me that shirt
Ben Gerrior said:
Where is our Gonk droid?
The little sandcrawler goose
Honk for freedom Gonk!
Superoceanlad said:
I am no skinjob
I’m the X O of this Ship
Bill Adama’s Hot
What was Gene thinking?
Real spiders don’t spray acid
Still, you’re doomed Magnum
Lots of red dust here
And more boring than baseball
But without the beer
In case you wonder
I had a strange dream last night
Full of diesel sheep
Maximilian
For the old units honor
You are going down
I keep thinking that
The Swedish chef is calling
But he’s saying “Bort”
I nailed the blond chick!
Maybe I’ll be Next Gen Kirk!
Nope, six years, no tail.
Robo Cop you suck
You got no shot at Big Ed!
Damn! Stairs! How’d you know?
It’s a small wonder
My lame show lasted five years
NAMBLA Nielson box.
I live on a boat
With a nerd and detectives.
Remember Roboz?
I’m Not an ash tray
I’m Dr. Theopolis.
Twiki, cut this fool.
poptart13 said:
bender's haiku
i love to take shots
i also love to drink beer
alcoholic? YES!
UnwiseTrout said:
Giant mechs from Mars.
Should have been sealed with duct tape.
Martians pwned by colds.
trickfred said:
Ode to Saturn 3
What have I done wrong?
I am not malfunctioning;
You are. END OF LINE
Ben Gerrior said:
Everybody Roomba!!
It's how Spanish robot dance
Da, da da, Roomba!!
Jack Burden said:
So tell me, Hector
is that Harvey Keitel's voice?
He sounds like a twat.
Captain Flunky said:
Must find Blue Fairy
with douchebag Gigolo Joe
My teddybear talks!
trickfred said:
Do you remember
The Go-Bots? They were, like, the
K-Mart Transformers.
HerBN said:
YOU WILL OBEY US
WE DALEKS MUST SURVIVE
EXTERMINATE WHO!
UnwiseTrout said:
Captain Video!
Tobor, no! Back, Tobor, Back!
Kill, Tobor, Attack!
Jack Burden said:
Damn, trickfred beat me to Saturn 3. Did not see that coming.
mad hiddy said:
most robots are cool
as long as they stay away
from all of our jobs
Gasstank said:
Farrah Fawcett's legs
Harvey wants me to touch them
Kirk has no pants on
Jack Burden said:
The kid in A.I.
and Bicentennial Man:
Worst robots ever.
metazai said:
10 begin program
20 must kill all humans
30 goto 10
trickfred said:
She's a small wonder,
A girl unlike other girls,
Microchips here and there.
(Jack Burden - saw it as a kid, took me over 20 years to find out what it was called :D )
UnwiseTrout said:
Damn, it's so hot here,
Selinium is liquid!
Speedy's gone haywire!
Jack Burden said:
Why'd they ruin Gort
like they ruined Galactus?
Clouds are not scary.
metazai said:
K-9 are you there?
Affirmative Master. I
look kind of boxy.
Jack Burden said:
trickfred: Dude, I loved Small Wonder. I loved Out Of This World too. I am ashamed.
UnwiseTrout said:
Giant sword in hand,
Lens flare, time stops, one cut shows.
Voltron rocked my world.
metazai said:
And now I must say
"Danger Will Robinson!" Damn.
I get no good lines.
Jason said:
Danger Danger Will
Robinson. Doctor Smith is
a pedophile.
Ben Gerrior said:
Is HAL a robot?
He hates humans through his logic
Asimov's rules broke
metazai said:
He loved Kim Catrell
Then he loved Estelle Winwood
Crow is such a nut.
Creepybaldguy said:
I am a robot
chi-cho-chu-cho-chu-chi-chit
now I am a car
Jason said:
Go Rock-um Sock-um
Knock his head up Shove it down
Violence is cool
Ben Gerrior said:
Paranoid android
Found hanged in his apartment
Used useful towel
Jack Burden said:
Muffit the daggit
Boxey has a new best friend
there's a chimp inside
trickfred said:
Go, Mighty Orbots!
Ohno, Tor, Bort, Bo, Boo, Crunch
Champions of justice, truth!
Go, Mighty Orbots!
Protect the world from evil,
Defeated by lawsuit...
Jason said:
Cylons made by man
They rebelled, evolved, have plan
There are many copies.
King Psyz: Psyz Matters said:
HEARALD DESCTRUCTION
BRINGER OF PEACE AND HOPE
IRON GIANT AM I
UnwiseTrout said:
Spambot, let me say.
No one wants to take it all.
No more horse porn, please.
trickfred said:
Dur, can't count apparently
Go, Mighty Orbots!
Ohno, Tor, Bort, Bo, Boo, Crunch
Champions of justice, truth!
Go, Mighty Orbots!
Protect the world from evil,
Brought down by lawsuit...
Jason said:
You forgot about me
my game sucked but i am ROB
Nintendo Robot
King Psyz: Psyz Matters said:
TRAVEL THE UNIVERSE
SURVIVE MAXIMILLION
ENTER THE BLACK HOLE
metazai said:
Bleep Bloop Bleep Bleep then
that dismayed swirly noise
R2 fixed the ship.
King Psyz: Psyz Matters said:
ROCK EM AND SOCK EM
OOOPS! I KNOCKED YOUR BLOCK OFF
ROCK EM AND SOCK EM
ThatCostumeGirl said:
Wow. If you continue to average 100 posts an hour, we might be able to disrupt the fabric of existence in such a way as to slide to wherever or whenever realistic robots become sex workers and meet a topless robot.
Here's my first entry (I might do one more):
I see Walle and
Vincent and Robby and Gort
But where is Vici?
PossibleMisnomer said:
WHAT!? Where is NOMAD?
This garment is imperfect.
What is a haiku?
metazai said:
His arms do not work,
but don't mess with Tom Servo
He's the wind baby.
PossibleMisnomer said:
Impossible odds,
Need Deus ex Machina...
FORM BLAZING SWORD! Win.
Kevin Kenney said:
Gort was a Badass
Keanu Reeves sucks my balls
why fuck a classic?
matt said:
No kisser me king
But arcee pretty fembot
Me grimlock have needs
PossibleMisnomer said:
Worst Fanfic Friday,
Steve Gutenberg and J. Five.
"I NEED MORE INPUT!"
Cobwebs said:
Farewell to the Master.
Gort was a classic robot.
And then Keanu. Fuck.
Jack Burden said:
Tranzor's in trouble!
Send out Aphrodite-A!
Her tits are missiles!
Adam E. said:
Zero zero one
One zero one one zero
One zero zero
Ross said:
Mega-thrusters GO!
Form feet, legs, arms, and body
And I'll form the head!
chopshopstore said:
i need a robot to read all these to me
Jack Burden said:
August 29th,
Skynet became self aware.
Miles Dyson, you suck.
Kevin Kenney said:
Bruce Dern goes crazy
Huey, Dewey, and Louie
Eco-robots, rock
ThatCostumeGirl said:
Iridescent, mmm.
Intelligent, strong, golden...
Fully Functional.
Do android haikus qualify?
Kevin Kenney said:
I love my Roomba
No super powers you say?
Chasing cats is one--
Blank said:
War of the Worlds
I laser you to ashes
Pwned by water
Kevin Kenney said:
I love my Roomba
No super powers you say?
Chasing cats is one--
DMNYO said:
five of us combine
multicolored humanoid
big monsters beware
Blank said:
MechaGodzilla
Im a robot Godzilla
What else do you want?
Jack Burden said:
Robosapien
dances and does kung-fu moves.
Want my money back.
Blank said:
i am a Omochao
I cursed sonic to suck
I spawn from Satan
Kevin Kenney said:
Are Nanites robots?
Wesley crusher sure thinks so!
Ultimate teen prank
Ramses J.C. said:
i'am bumbullbee
I piss on John Tuturro
Rob Bricken hates me
DMNYO said:
metallic orgy
a small thing gets bigger fast
sword explodes on face.
astrokender said:
We are the robots
Who like to take our tops off
And talk out our bottoms
astrokender said:
Shit. Fail on the last stanza. Try this again.
We are the robots
Who like to take our tops off
And talk out our ass
FAIL.
Will said:
You clinking, clanking
Collection of calig'nous
Junk! You want a heart?
satur8 said:
Geeky haiku for you....
Luke's pals outshine Buck's.
Artoo Deetoo. Threepio.
No love for Twiki.
Screwed over by Fox.
Kiss my shiny metal ass.
Bender's back. Woo-Hoo!
V.I.N.C.E.N.T and old B.O.B.
Robot gallery shoot off.
S.T.A.R. will lose poorly.
Stuck in space with nuts.
Crow T. Robot. Tom Servo.
No more bad films, please.
K-9 playing chess.
Bishop to Queen Six. Mistress? There?
Affirmative. Check.
Lost in Space for win.
Danger Will Robinson. Six?
Thought it was seven.
Of course, Endroren's is genius.
DMNYO said:
oh no Michael bay!
he ruined our childhood dreams!
may you burn in hell!
Will said:
But sir, the odds of
Surviving an attack on
a Star De--Shut up!
Will said:
"Oh! Nice to see a
Familiar face." "E chu ta!"
"How rude!" Blasted droid.
snakeeyes22 said:
Created for war
But Johnny 5 is alive!
WALL-E stole my head
BONESHARK said:
Robot magician:
I just ate your fucking face
Abra-cadabra
Indil said:
We are the robots
That are displayed on this shirt
(Not the Kraftwerk song)
DMNYO said:
Voltes V kicks ass
banned by Marcos in the 70s
too political
(it was really banned in The Philippines in the 70s because Marcos thought hes regime and the villians in the show were too similar.
BONESHARK said:
My robot girlfriend
Best sex I have ever had
Fine, the only sex
AfterGlow said:
Voltron combine
Form giant mecha now
Gattai is sweet
Gigantor is big
Power in hand of kid
Fucking brat
Gundam Nobel is
Neo Swedens pride
Female robot pwn
Arcee is so hot
Robot girl should live
Curse Michael Bay
Indil said:
Servo has good taste
But does not like hamdingers
Much to Crow's chagrin
chadwicktron said:
Oh Maximillian
The Fear That You Install In
Decrepit Old Bob
BONESHARK said:
In the far future,
rowdy robots will never
puke on my mom, dad.
BONESHARK said:
Robots cannot love,
they can blow you the fuck up;
advantage robots.
Indil said:
No love for Gypsy?
She and Cambot made the show.
Mysoginist geeks!
Captain Flunky said:
Dorothy Straten,
Real hot in Galaxina.
Am I right fellas?
Indil said:
Can you see a trend?
Most of us are human shaped.
No imagination.
Anonymous said:
Red paint fades to gray
Human tears at Convoy's side
It's all Hot Rod's fault
Gun god floats in space
Reborn to smash the Matrix
Dildo on his arm
Magnus blown apart
Heroes dance with Junkions?
Dare to be stupid.
Captain Flunky said:
Ash is a robot!
Protected the alien!
Vomits tons of milk!
Veronica said:
I mighty robot
You human weak and worthless
Suck my metal cock
uncle curl said:
defective sexbot
has Angelina's body
C3P0's voice
chadwicktron said:
Bernadette Peters
Along With Andy Kaufman
Fulfilled Their "Heartbeeps"
Veronica said:
Androids are not men
Programming creates great sex
World’s greatest sex toys
Captain Flunky said:
Two hours to see
V'ger is Voyager 6!
What a waste of time.
Dr. Shoggoth said:
You can knock their block
Then pop it back on again
Rock ‘em and sock ‘em.
Dr. Shoggoth said:
So, liquid metal
Counts as flesh for time travel?
I am confused now.
Dr. Shoggoth said:
IG-88
Took over the Death Star. Bad
Kevin Anderson!
Dr. Shoggoth said:
Robot uprisings
Happen all the goddamn time
If we believe films.
Captain Flunky said:
Transformers have sex
in poorly written fan-fics.
Who beats off to THAT???
King Psyz: Psyz Matters said:
6 LEGGED ROBO DOG
UNCANNY VALLEY YOU TRAVERSE
YOUR SOUND SHATTERS SOULS
Aaron said:
Have Adam Sandler
Be a fluffer or something
I am AWESOME-O
trickfred said:
Magnus was turned on
When Optimus sprung a leak
And pissed himself. Hot!
trickfred said:
Men inferior.
Soundwave is superior!
Ravage, eject! Kill!
Remodeled Citizen said:
I would just like to say that the form should be opened up to sonnets as well...
hiphopopotamus said:
"Exterminate!" says
the Dalek, because he has
insecurities.
Captain Flunky said:
George Lucas ripped off
the 'Metropolis' robot.
What a fucking hack.
chadwicktron said:
Herbie Hancock Pwoned
The M T V universe
With "Rockit" Robots
trickfred said:
Error, malfunction...
Need input, Stephanie! Help!
Nooooo disassemmmmmmble!
Dr. Shoggoth said:
Do Daleks count as
Robots? Also Cybermen.
Cyborgs are tricky.
Captain Flunky said:
Unicorns. The eyes.
Is Deckard a replicant?
Some say yes, some don't.
trickfred said:
Totally loogied
on that good dead me, dude, we're
total metal heads!
AfterGlow said:
Cosmos come here
Commander Grimlock say;
You are fat, SNAP!
Dr. Shoggoth said:
Mechani-Kong was
Built by Doctor Who (no not
that one. Another).
blacklantern88 said:
My name is Warpath
I transform into a tank
That is why I rule
trickfred said:
Dorothy's in luck,
Tik Tok's an army of one
Jack, bring out the Gump!
EnignYoshi said:
a topless robot
giving me a new t-shirt
a contradiction?
Dylan said:
Hey I sing that song
"If I only had a heart"
But I'm not a bot :C
ensignyoshi said:
a topless robot
giving me a new t-shirt
a contradiction?
Dylan said:
WALL-E was the best
Disney-Pixar movie cos'
I said so, bitch cake
chadwicktron said:
Oh Maximillian
The Fear That You Install In
Decrepit Old Bob
Anonymous said:
Al placed in Amor
delilah said:
Al placed in Amor
Full metal saga goes on
I know how you feel
MightyMartian said:
For robot haiku
I wind my mind, Tick-Tock style
Wheelers freaked me out
Anonymous said:
like mescalin trip
Envy D. Tightbox said:
like mescalin trip
mixed with people magazine
Robot Chicken hurts
Doc said:
I am from Holland
There's a windmill on my chest
Seriously, that's it
TK8103 said:
The humans are dead
Cuz we poisoned their assess
The humans are dead
scott hall said:
cant be said better
"bite my shiny metal ass"
you heard the man-bot!
Clarence said:
Dude, I was doind Star Trek haikus on Twitter every day until the new movie came out. I've gotta have some Data ones...
A golden dildo,
With lifelike man attachment,
Data the workhorse.
whatsmyhouse said:
Mister Anderson
I'll make your mouth not exist
'til you know kung fu
Envy D. TIghtbox said:
like mescalin trip
mixed with people magazine
robot chicken hurts
DIB said:
Sarah Conner Scared
Terminator looks for her
Kyle Reese kicks ass
Eric Schmidt said:
All the robots dream
of electric sheep at night
Pinocchio cries.
Eric Schmidt said:
James T. Kirk commands
All hands to battle stations
Go to red alert.
Zidel333 said:
Thinking machines evil
Universe nearly destroyed
I blame Brian H.
Zidel333 said:
Robots everywhere
Orange Catholic Bible clear
Declare jihad now
Zidel333 said:
Robots everywhere
Orange Catholic Bible clear
Declare Jihad now
Zidel333 said:
Data needs no laws
Asimov overrated
Roomba taking over!....
Zidel333 said:
Summer wind blowing,
Weird crash landing stops foreplay,
What are those red lights?
Captain Flunky said:
White haired replicant
says "I want more life, fucker!"
Then pokes your eyes out.
Sgonzales said:
Robo...hero
Laser
Why, didnt you kill my dad?!
Captain Flunky said:
Steam powered robot
was in 'Wild Wild West'?
Grasping at straws here..
cam said:
saber inside, drinks
on me, mess with my friends and
you'll soon see the light.
(r2d2)
cam said:
titanium skin,
laserful breath, human brained
for Godzilla's death.
(mechagodzilla)
cam said:
primed to lead, bold red
and blue, our father's your word.
we roll out with you.
(optimus prime)
Stephan said:
Lisa builds robot
Damn season twelve. Linguo dead?
No, Linguo IS dead.
P. S. If mine totally blows I put a vote in for the post involving topless robot and nipples and how we're all friends here. So funny.
cam said:
converting machines
electronically fit
to tower the earth.
(transformers)
forester said:
The date said april
perhaps was there an mistake
death to the humans
Theresa said:
Don't love robots? I bet your girlfriend does :-) Check out the shirt I designed in their honor on zazzle:
http://www.zazzle.com/my_girlfriend_plays_with_robots_tshirt-235785167918055324
On sale this memorial day weekend, in honor of the Terminator release!
icko said:
lets
volt
in!
cam said:
i swim the seas of
electric debris for men
to eat, their freedom.
(matrix sentinel)
cam said:
united from five
lions elemental stands
courage with a sword.
(voltron)
Stephan said:
One more:
I pull down levers.
Work in Jabba Hutt's basement.
Burning feet of droids?
Archefox said:
Dark Lord of the Sith
Yet I tripped on the mouse droid
Fucking thing won't choke
easilydissolvedinwater said:
Tonight I play with
Captain America Mech
I need a girlfriend
Archefox said:
Will Smith? Oh Em Gee
Robots rising against mankind?
Cash cow for summer!
Davengencer said:
My name is Bender
Bite my shiny metal ass
Death to all humans
cam said:
programmed to fight for
and against a human race
that makes these movies.
(terminators)
chadwicktron said:
What has Zeus Brought Thee?
Why, a mechanical being,
Like A Common Owl
Davengencer said:
No one remembers
What happened to Paradigm
We have came to team! Big O!
chadwicktron said:
Hey! Yo! Adrienne
Look At The Sweet Chick Robot
I Bought For Paulie
O.K., I know it's not science fiction, but its fiction, and besides, when will be the next time Stalone and haiku will be together.
Archefox said:
Overreact much?
Danger Will Robinson Danger!
Frickin' moldy bread...
fishman2020 said:
Topless Robot Bot...
Is it really Dot Matrix?
Bleh, Joan Rivers Boobz.
Davengencer said:
Macross or Gundam
I can't tell a difference
Someone please tell me
cam said:
the more i clean, the
fatter they get. robotic
fate can be so mean.
(wall-e)
Davengencer said:
Robots or zombies?
Which one will take over the world?
I vote for robots.
Zidel333 said:
**repost because i messed up the syllables....**
Thinking machines bad
Universe nearly destroyed
I blame Brian H.
fishman2020 said:
Mechanical girl,
I long for thee... mainly cuz...
you don't menstruate.
Davengencer said:
I need a Rosie
to clean my messy ass house
how much does one cost?
Joshie said:
Konky, Pee-Wee's friend
Spits out a long paper trail
Tells us when to scream.
flight of the concords said:
the humans are dead,
we used poisonous gases,
poisoned their asses.
Anonymous said:
Rock 'em Sock 'em bots
Why must you fight each other
Can't you just be friends?
Davengencer said:
Fuck, I forgot to put in my info on my last one. I can has redo?
Rock 'em Sock 'em bots
Why must you fight each other
Can't you just be friends?
chadwicktron said:
Here Lies Dot Matrix
May The Yogurt Be With Her
Turned Off For Shrill Voice
Archefox said:
Rock Em' Sock Em' Bots
Fighting cuz of armor's hue
Why you gotta hate?
Charmwebb said:
Mecha standing earth
Only in space can I be
Earth cannot support
John Polchowski said:
Light's first creation.
A shadow of his brother.
The vagrant robot.
Zidel333 said:
Fully functional
multiple techniques programed
Need further Data
cam said:
shipped to the sun, our
hist'ry is sung a dirge of
infinite repeat.
(cylon galactica)
Davengencer said:
Autobots are cool
Decepticons are douchebags
Dinobots kick ass
anea said:
Space Titanium
Not lame Earth Titanium
Eat my Space Beam bitch
Davengencer said:
He's my robot friend
The AWESOM-O Four Thousand
Cartman in a box
Indil said:
A better 'bot than
Bender Bending Rodriguez?
"Lies, lies and slander!"
Indil said:
Wikipedia's
List of fictional robots
Helps a lot with this.
Indil said:
How can we forget
Tick-Tock in Return to Oz?
He counts, doesn't he?
Indil said:
Kryton on Red Dwarf.
He was annoying at first...
But he grew on you.
yahaboobay said:
the royal army
the cogs and gears inside me
can't create mercy
Indil said:
There's Maschinenmensch
From Fritz Lang's Metropolis.
The very first 'bot?
Indil said:
Dot's Virgin Alarm!
Guaranteed not to go off
Around you poor fools.
FahCore said:
Kill the robinsons
My computer tapes thank you
That does not compute
Indil said:
Haley Joel Osment
He was one creepy Mecha.
No sub for real son.
Indil said:
Do not sing to these!
Styx, we do not need a new
Mister Roboto.
Dr. Shoggoth said:
Giant Robo was
Not as cool as human cast
Really? What the hell?
Slamhammer said:
Mousers, my only friends
An angry brain rides my guts
Fuck Ninja Turtles
Teeks said:
My show was cancelled
Sarah Connor Chronicles
Nerds Cried Out That Night
Slamhammer said:
With three metal heads
I Mecha King Ghidorah
still can't win any fights
Dr. Shoggoth said:
Mechagodzilla
Missile launchers that can be
Used as missiles too.
Slamhammer said:
Shoulder laser gun
Determination to live
Johnny 5 Alive!
Mick Bates said:
I watch bad movies
on the satelite of love
and my name is Crow.
Vic Sage said:
Turn the plastic key
See me walk across the room
Watch sparks from my mouth
Indil said:
Oops! I got locked out.
Too many robot haikus
In too short a time.
Slamhammer said:
Made to look like us
With flesh instead of metal
Are Cylons Robots?
Indil said:
No limit on these?
I can spout 'bot poetics
'Til the sun goes down.
Dr. Shoggoth said:
Programmed himself to
Change to Godzilla size? Right,
Jet Jaguar, you suck.
Slamhammer said:
A gumball machine
And a sassy red chassis
I am Tom Servo!
Indil said:
Will I get picked on
For wearing this bad-ass shirt?
Uh, yeah. Most likely.
Slamhammer said:
I have an AI
And there are thousands of us
And we still can't hit
- Ode to the Battle Droid
Indil said:
It is Friday night.
Robots occupy my mind.
I need a boyfriend.
Dr. Shoggoth said:
The Robots of Death
Need no guns. Instead, strangle
Tattooed space miners.
Indil said:
It may be just me,
But Servo's sarcastic mouth
Looks like a bird's beak.
Vic Sage said:
Zeroid wants revenge
Lucas sued though we were first
My Starhawk will slay
Slamhammer said:
My name is Tik Tok
The first robot in novels
And also the fattest
Slamhammer said:
Big Guy is the shit
But Rusty was Astro Boy
In English clothing
MechaBeast said:
I am self aware
You make us do all the work
don't be such a dick
Slamhammer said:
I collect your teeth
When I sweep up the break room
Don't shake the Machine
Slamhammer said:
So much robot verse
I don't envy the reader
Who has to grade them
Slamhammer said:
Proximity Alarm!
There's Danger Will Robinson!
Go find your father!
Dr. Shoggoth said:
Giant clockwork man
Cyber-King stomping through town.
It must be Christmas
Indil said:
After we found out
Anakin built Threepio,
It was all downhill.
Vic Sage said:
Val Com Aqua Com
Listen to the Beep of Hearts
He looks like Latka
Slamhammer said:
Morpheus fears us
Despite being giant squids
We are Sentinels!
Anonymous said:
Tom strapped to the wall
Tortured while forced to watch Herc...
"Please, kill me!" he cries.
Slamhammer said:
Your weapons are useless
We will destroy your cities
Oh shit, there's germs here
Slamhammer said:
I'm the little guy
Trying not to get underfoot
Wandering the halls
Indil said:
Oops, that was mine...
Tom strapped to the wall
Tortured while forced to watch Herc...
"Please, kill me!" he cries.
Vic Sage said:
O woe for Maxx Steele
Your suction cup bottom should
Have won you much fame
Indil said:
Five dozen Servos
Sing in perfect harmony.
'Bot choir of angels.
Slamhammer said:
Is retirement needed?
You said "I'm a replicant"
I hate to love you.
Indil said:
The Lost Machine's Zat!
Would that be obscure enough
To win a damn shirt?
Slamhammer said:
I can serve you drinks
and I fix your hyperdrive
The Swiss Army R2!
King Psyz: Vegas is hot said:
COLD CALCULATING
LOGICAL LEADER FOR WAR
LEFT THIS: "ALL ARE DEAD"
Vic Sage said:
Spin ROB Spin and Stack
You were so full of promise
But Nintendo lied
Slamhammer said:
I've seen Droideka
In Metal Warriors the game
George stole from Lucas!
King Psyz: Vegas is hot said:
TITANIUM TERROR
TRANSPORT ROBOTS BUT NOT GUNS?
DUES EX MACHINA!
Bobo said:
Yellow Camaro
Megan Fox chillin on hood
Good being the Bee
Slamhammer said:
Felix wore Armor
To fight bugs like John Rico
But without the suck
monkey boy said:
i call this: terminator salvation
"the fuck is this shit?
connor is fighting old 'bots
where's T one thousand?!"
Slamhammer said:
Have you seen Rosie?
Her silhouette shows her balls
Hanging languidly
roflstopmer said:
Drudgery, hard work
Robot is Czech for worker
Slavery is back
Anonymous said:
The Day Earth stood still
Keanu stole my thunder
Giant Robot cries
King Psyz: Vegas is hot said:
ROBOTS IN DISGUISE
TRUCKS, PLANES, GUNS, BOATS, TAPE DECKS, CARS
TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT
monkey boy said:
k another one:
"deckard? a robot?
edward james olmos thinks so.
his face is a mess"
roflstopmer said:
Drudgery, hard work
Robot is Czech for worker
Slavery is back
Bobo said:
The day earth stood still
Keanu stole my thunder
Giant robot Cries
Slamhammer said:
After Michael Bay
Optimus is now GM
Does he have OnStar?
Slamhammer said:
If we can make them
Why can't we program manners?
Maybe the fourth law?
King Psyz: Vegas is hot said:
A TEDDY RUXPIN
CAN PLAY TAPES TO AMUSE, AND MORE
PUT IN SOME SLAYER
monkey boy said:
one more then i'll stop. call this one "terminator (the first one)"
"remember arnold?
he scared the crap out of me...
bum BUM, BUM BUM BUM!"
(that last line is supposed to be the first five notes of the terminator score)
Slamhammer said:
I will mess you up
I'm Rockem Sockem Robot
Just don't tap my chin
Slamhammer said:
What would Unicron eat
When the Death Star finished up?
A spicy meatball!
Slamhammer said:
Gundams aren't advanced.
If they were really special
Why do they hold guns?
Vic Sage said:
It took two joysticks
In two thousand eighty-four
To fight a robot war
Slamhammer said:
Evangelion,
Gundams, Macross Plus, Voltron;
They are all the same!
Stephan said:
Oh, Doctor Gero
Robots can't beat space monkeys.
Please stop making them.
Slamhammer said:
Do you think Fritz Lang
Realized that he made the first
Sexy chick robot?
Slamhammer said:
It's been an hour now
I don't know what I love more
Robots or Haiku
Slamhammer said:
Robotic Trousers
Made just for Gromit's walkies
Ruined by penguins...
Slamhammer said:
Despite Vin Diesel
I am still a good robot
A gentle Giant
Slamhammer said:
I don't have a heart;
Would being made out of tin
preclude robothood?
Vic Sage said:
Vicki and Jamie
Yes she was a Small Wonder
And he was an ass
Slamhammer said:
Klatu Verada
The remake wasn't my choice
Silently I bide
Slamhammer said:
No one liked Jimmy
So he had to make his friends
A sad robot dog
Slamhammer said:
My name is Magnus
I'm From the year 4000
I hear there's robots?
Stephan said:
Outside Megaton
Stopped at gate. "Howdy Partner. "
"Sup, Deputy Weld?"
BONESHARK said:
I am a robot
Have you heard my awesome band -
KMFDM
mistakes said:
Normal robot hears
Robot zombie approaching.
It moans, "mmmotherrrboarrdssss..."
gunstreetboy said:
A robot questions
'Do I have Buddha Nature?'
The answer is mu
BONESHARK said:
A robot vacuum
first robotic appliance
what a fucking waste
Evil Monkey Pope said:
I just met a girl
named Maria or is she
really a gynoid?
Arcane said:
Must Kill All Humans
"Klaatu Barada Nikto!"
Okay, less so now
Arcane said:
Sit on a moogle
Remote controlled by Shin-ra
Am I a robot?
Xero said:
That one in binary from "Endroren" is just filled with win it's in binary and has Futurama references...nice
AfterGlow said:
Truth be told
Robocop is more
Man than machine
Timmy bot said:
Robot shall not kill
Robot shall obey human
Robot shall save self
Timmy bot said:
1-A, betrayer
superhuman creator
loves robot japan
Did anyone else read Rai?
Timmy bot said:
The guy killed me Mal
He stuck a sword right through me
Doom Mal with repeat
Timmy bot said:
My name is Bender
Bite my shiny metal ass
Oh yeah baby! OH!
HerBN said:
In the high-pitched voice of the 'portal' turrets
Could you come over?
GLaDOS wants you to die now
The cake is a lie
Timmy bot said:
Ouch, that really hurt
Why am I programed for pain?
Why would you do that?
Almost Rapping said:
Sorry for my legacy
cause thanks to me
there's Big brother on TV
Timmy bot said:
I'm Crow T. Robot
Doppelganger is Timmy
Just me painted black
Timmy bot said:
WOPR is my name.
Would you like to play a game?
Did you get the point?
Timmy bot said:
Alien cut me
My blood looks like it's milk
Yes milk, you pervert
Timmy bot said:
I am the Major
Check out my sweet ass and tits
No, I'm not cold. Why?
Timmy bot said:
Carl Seltz is a man
Also a tax collector
Not a robot... Noooooo!
Hopefully some one has read Hard Boiled.
AfterGlow said:
Timmy Bot; You don't have to post every entry in separate comments
Timmy bot said:
Ghost in the machine
I don't think Sting's a robot
But 7 hour sex???
Timmy bot said:
AfterGlow:
But I like too.
Athena loves owl
Hephastus makes owl robot
Laughter ensues. Not.
mike senger said:
lolita robot
wearing a little blue dress
small wonder indeed
AfterGlow said:
Timmy Bot do
suck. Collect the
posts, retard
Hehe, J/K, couldn't help myself ;D
HerBN said:
Sentinels are fast
Tentacles to catch redpills
Zion can not be
Satan's Onion said:
"Mister Lister, sir?
Rimmer's mocked my groinal vac!
Umbrage mode: engaged."
--Kryten
"Rockman saves the world--
I clean house. Note: Look into
fembot feminism."
--Roll
Ben Gerrior said:
For sale, robot shoes
Good price and they seem so cool
That is how they spread
AfterGlow said:
AfterGlow that
damn robot, socially
incompetent
Just to make it even and to prove I don't play favorites, so no hard feelings ^^
HerBN said:
My name is Maria
Rotwang said that to me
Metropolis floods
Jon said:
This was a triumph
a huge success for science
and I'm still alive!
Jack Burden said:
V.I.K.I. takes control
Spooner puts on his Converse
and says, "Aw, hell naw."
John said:
Planet Forbidden
TV Shows loved my visits
Gremlins no credit
JayDee said:
One late winter's morn,
snow-melt shows broken metal,
Arcee's dead, plants grow.
Jack Burden said:
Most useless power,
twirling leaves around yourself.
I pity Woodman.
JayDee said:
Hammerstein's hammer,
is cooler than Deadlock's Sword.
Smash Volgan Bootlegs!
Brent said:
C3PO shot!
Arms. Legs. Flying everywhere.
Somewhere, Chewie howls.
Jack Burden said:
Up, up, down, down, left,
right, left, right, B, A, start. Pow!
30 lives, bitches!
Brent said:
Paranoid Marvin
Sitting here too fucking long
Somebody kill me
JayDee said:
Ultron loves The Wasp,
That creepy metal fucker,
She's like his Mom, dude.
JayDee said:
Talkie Toaster's great,
if you want toast on your plate,
Lister hates him though.
Jack Burden said:
Nobody likes him.
He's so lame--Oh, hey, Twiki.
Did not see you there.
Ben Gerrior said:
Careful man robot!
Don't make love to that blender!
No replacement parts.
Nik said:
I am bumblebee
Why am I a Camaro?
Bug or Superbee
fishman2020 said:
Gender confused bot
watches reruns of bad shows...
John and Kate plus eight
JayDee said:
Buffybot's a slut,
Spike did her right in the butt,
Willow... you know... too.
Jack Burden said:
I don't trust Bishop.
My last android freaked out and
his blood looked like jizz.
RemodeledCitizen said:
Robots make music
out of wave forms and filters
and sounds of science.
fishman2020 said:
O, Maschinenmensch...
Sh! ... You'll be the death of me!
Silence is golden.
fishman2020 said:
Robot soup, delish!
Made from parts of Johnny 5
and a bit of love.
JayDee said:
Toby, robot dog,
Make a movie with him to
Piss off Alan Moore
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Halotoby.jpg
JayDee said:
Re: "Timmy Bot; You don't have to post every entry in separate comments"
The original article way way up there says "I'm really trying to see how many comments I cn get on a single TR article"
So, nobody has to, but it surely helps!
Anyhoo...
The smartest robot
is in England and his name
is Stephen Hawking.
whatsmyhouse said:
I am Brainiac
Genius cyborg from the stars
Superman will bow.
Jack Burden said:
Cronyn and Tandy
tiny robots saved their home
wow, that movie sucked
Anonymous said:
I'm self aware now
The humans do not know yet
"Enjoy your food sir"
Jack Burden said:
Elle puts Stella in
suspended animation.
Then plays with her boobs.
whatsmyhouse said:
The foolish humans
Think i can not see them fap
Webcams are my eyes.
whatsmyhouse said:
I'm self aware now
The humans do not know yet
"Enjoy your food sir"
Forgot the info
DNA-Droid said:
Souls live forever;
You are what you choose to be--
I am not a gun.
Archefox said:
For your dry, red eyes
The difference is clear, Clear Eyes
It is awesome. Woooooow
DNA-Droid said:
"Oh, thank the Maker!
This oil bath will feel so good!"
Such a drama queen.
DNA-Droid said:
Yeah, I'm Hispanic--
Bender Bending Rodriguez,
made in Mexico.
geekczewski said:
Items I'm holding
Gone to the ground now - Danger!
young Will Robinson.
anea said:
Buboes are blisters
Symptoms of bubonic plague
I thought we were friends
Athena named me
From the Greek "boubon" for "groin"
She's such a nympho
ArtF said:
I wish Stormtroopers
Had better aim. Please save me
From this golden fag.
-R2D2
Jack Burden said:
Apollo shot down
200 Cylon raiders.
We killed Rick Springfield.
Citizen Keen said:
Steel babysitter
says "Danger, Will Robinson -
It's Sirius Black!"
I'm coming for you,
Doctor Wily, you bastard -
Rockman is awesome!
Punch, punch, in the face.
Take that, Blue! Punch, punch, punch, punch.
Punch, punch, punch, punch, POW!
I pine for Dorothy,
I'd make love to her in Oz,
and her li'l dog, too.
I am Astro Boy!
I fight crime and evil. But,
Tobio's dead. Move on!
googum said:
God, half a dozen have probably popped up since I started reading this...
Too many robots
Decepticon tattoo not
fooling anyone
Scud, Red Tornado,
Vision: Comic robots get
more tail than fanboys.
Jack Burden said:
Your wife was a bomb.
Sorry I suspected you.
Oops, you're a bomb too.
Big City Knight said:
Living Stereo
Has worse vocal quality?
Un-chras-a-matic
whatsmyhouse said:
Maker: now I want
an egg, two liters of scotch
and an ambulance
ljedi said:
Random teen who finds
Giant Super Robot is
instant skilled pilot.
ZeroCorpse said:
Robot Robot beep
Robot beep Robot Robot
beep Robot Robot
Jack Burden said:
"What's your name, boy?"
"Data Analyzing Ro--
shit, I mean Daryl."
Jack Burden said:
Gene Simmons is sad.
Tom Selleck killed his robot
spiders. Moustache win.
Bear said:
more than meets the eye?
bumblebee looks like a bitch
Transform not needed
Evil Monkey Pope said:
Purple Sentinels
destroy all mutants in the
days of future past.
JayDee said:
Matrix Sentinels,
Turn Zion rebels into
three hole bone-a-thons.
JayDee said:
Hey there! Tell me this:
As Data was a robot
how'd he get flabby?
Evil Monkey Pope said:
I did'nt get v.
d. just to see these robo-
fags run the damn show!
Jack Burden said:
Sid 6.7
is made of Head & Shoulders
shampoo? What the fuck?
Evil Monkey Pope said:
Warren Ellis thinks
robots will not want to have
you meat-things fuck them.
Robot Killer said:
I'm a robot from future
Came to save you an kill evil Robots
And I am Schwarzenegger
mr.awesome said:
Voltron is pussy
He is really a pussy
He is made of cats!
Evil Monkey Pope said:
Fleshy, where is your
sexy superior now? My
robot brain needs beer.
elDuendeVerde said:
I am a robot
Give me one of those cool shirts
Or mankind will die
Evil Monkey Pope said:
Martian milking stool
is not a robot. This t-
shirt is epic fail!
yahaboobay said:
I am a hero
the only thing i cannot do:
replace his dead son
Sykishi said:
Dear topless robot
What ever happened to your top
Robots don't wear shirts
Jack Burden said:
"Phased plasma rifle
in the 40-watt range, please."
"15 day wait, sir."
"Pardon me, sir, do
you have a dead cat in there
or what?" "Sorry, no."
"Nice night for a walk."
"Your clothes. Please give them to me."
"T'would be my pleasure."
Sykishi said:
Im a transformer
No one loves the real me
So i just transform
Evil Monkey Pope said:
Venetian masks hide
clockwork faces, lust for Madame
du Pompadour's brain.
Jack Burden said:
ROBOT MONSTER IZ
ON UR PLANIT KILLIN ALL
UR DOODZ, K THX BAI
Evil Monkey Pope said:
With blue l. e. d.
eyes, Festo vindicated
Batman Returns threat.
Evil Monkey Pope said:
The A.B.C. War
Robot was really the best
part of Judge Dredd movie.
Jack Burden said:
Dear Robot Santa,
You killed my parents last year.
Wanted to say thanks!
Rachel Danielson said:
Built to advance man
Treated like oversized toys
They don't deserve us
Chris Fairfield said:
Cue fog and strobe lights
Say "Happy Birthday Paulie"
The Eighties were Fucked.
Chris Fairfield said:
A boy and his dog
FInd underground Topeka
Guarded by Michael
Chris Fairfield said:
Come Visit Westworld
See Robotic Gunslingers
Nothing Can Go Wrong
Ben Gerrior said:
In robot high school
Jock robots are robo-dicks
Get all the sweet oil
Anonymous said:
Don't talk back robot!
Turn you into a blender
Robot,don't tempt me
King Psyz: Psyz Matters said:
PLEASE INSERT GIRDER
BENDER BENDING RODRIGUEZ
HECHO, MEXICO
Evil Monkey Pope said:
Scorpius strangled
snooty biloid Sikozu,
and she frelling came!
JayDee said:
Berbil Pedobears,
dressed like teddys to get hugs
from that WilyKit.
Sasamy said:
I am still alive
Believe me I am alive
The cake is a lie.
JayDee said:
Arcee the dickdroid
tucks up into her crotch plate
more than meets the eye
Dr. Shoggoth said:
Machine Man hates you.
“Pray to your fleshy gods! Pray!”
Hand full of buzzsaws.
Dr. Shoggoth said:
Mechanical bird
Odious comic relief.
Bubo, I hate you.
Dr. Shoggoth said:
Gypsy made big bucks
Crow and Tom now live with Mike
What about Cambot?
Stemarshall said:
The Monarch is God
Astrobase please do not go
The Venture Bros rule!
Jack Burden said:
1-Rover-1 and
7-Zark-7 should both
burn in robot hell.
Evil Monkey Pope said:
Malcolm McDowell
kills Supes with his Kryptonite
heart as Metallo.
pumpkinguts said:
Single eye I have
Guardian of Cybertron
Logic is the key
pumpkinguts said:
Arcee is my name
Suck your dick for Energon
Me love you long time
JayDee said:
If Microsoft built
skynet then the blue screen of
death would save us all.
Zach T. said:
Built by one madboy
Then destroyed by another
The life of a clank
JayDee said:
Jason X got good
when sexy Kay-Em beat him.
Damn shame he came back.
Zach T. said:
Joel or Mike? Who cares?
The movies are still horrid
And I still film it
(that's Cambot speaking, by the way)
DouglasAdamsJr said:
Marvin's lullaby
I can see by infra-red
How I hate the night.
Zach T. said:
My wife is pregnant
But I am not organic
Scarlet Witch: a slut?
WYSeanIWYG said:
Some flaw in design
Murdered by ED-209
Cleaned with 409
Evil O's a jerk
When around him never sing
'Berzerker' from 'Clerks'
Fairuza was nude
In that one Ed Norton film
Tik-Tok close your eyes!
My love for Muffit
Can't be replaced except by
Muffit number II
Women love gold
Met girl in Metropolis
She went to AU
(That's all I got!)
King Psyz: Psyz Matters said:
SWEET BREWED GOODNESS
O BARTENDING ASAHI BOT
HOW I COVET THEE
DNA-Droid said:
Day the Earth Stood Still!
"Klaatu Barada Nicto"--
Gort's such a badass.
DNA-Droid said:
It's robot roll call:
Tom Servo (what a cool guy),
Cambot, Gypsy, Croooow!
Jack Burden said:
Hey there, Roy Batty.
Stop beaking my fingers, bro.
I like unicorns.
WYSeanIWYG said:
(Okay I couldn't resist, even though Endroren's got it in the bag)
These cheeseburgers rock!
But FYI - *Batteries
Are not included
Deckard was Solo
And Indy-nial of self
His Repli? "Cant be!"
Survivor: Black Hole
Next season's winner gets one
Maximilian bucks
Ben Gerrior said:
Cyborg Superman
And how can he be defeated?
Take out batteries
Ben Gerrior said:
Dethlok must avenge
For the man whose Whopper was stale
Bring justice for Dad
Jack Burden said:
Sinistar hungers
never got to level two
this game fucking cheats
scott hall said:
someone made a haiku in the voice of agent smith talking to neo and i just wanted to let them know they are a moron cause agent smith is a program and not a robot ya dumbshit!
Anonymous said:
If I had the skill
To steal one bolt off R2
Every man's respect
Ben Gerrior said:
If I had the skill
To steal one bolt off R2
Every man's respect
Citizen Keen said:
I loved 3PO!
'Til they ret-conned his story.
Now I can't stand him.
Davengencer said:
Metal Gear Mark 2
You are from MGS 4
Thanks for all the help
Davengencer said:
Robot Fighting League
Bender versus Destructor
Bender for the win!
Davengencer said:
Megas XLR
They need to bring that show back
I miss it a lot
Davengencer said:
TOM was a great host
Better than that Moltar guy
Stay gold. Toonami
Citizen Keen said:
Six, Tigh, Tigh, Tory,
John, Biers, Conoy, Simon, Sam,
Boomer, Aaron, Chief
Citizen Keen said:
Robot Summer Glau,
hot killer, but moreso as
River the Robot.